Health and Lifestyle Choices | Hipster Runoff

Health and Lifestyle Choices

Fat, Lazy Piece of Shit Human Meme

Fat lady
ur so fat
and ur so lazy
u eat bad food at Burger King
poisoning ur body.

Standing behind u in line at Burger King
I can't believe how fat u r.
Jesus Christ
Ur so lazy

U probably got fat
because ur so lazy
(maybe u have chronic fatigue syndrome
or recently had surgery to repair ur knee/ankle)
probs not, tho

LOLing hard @ u
ur fat
Kinda like Chris Farley,
except ur not funny
ur just sad

h8 u
because u represent everything that is wrong with America
U mother fucker
Ur so lazy
u probably have lazy kids on food stamps
feeding them fast food

I h8 u soo much
Srsly... u can't even stand up?
Jesus Christ, get some exercise
U don't need to be at BK
eating a triple cheeseburger

Gonna take out my camera
and take a picture of u
because u r a funnie meme
gonna share u on the internet
make ur fat ass go viral
because people on the internet will 'get' why this is funny

Glad I live on the internet
and not in Middle America
So I can share content with my friends
instead of eating myself 2 death

Dear lord
ur so lazy
i wish I could share u with u
so u could see what I see
and why u r such a funny, sad meme

Still LOLING @ U
because can't even stand up 2 wait in line
sorta wish there was just a trough of slop 4 u
to put ur snout in
oink oink
Fast food Nation
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Eating myself 2 death
Happy Meal

Still kinda loling @ how lazy that lady is
pulling up a chair
waiting in line
ur such a fat meme. hehe

Maybe u can't say in the Burger King Kids Club forever
cuz if u eat Burger King or every meal,
u will just get mad fat
then get diabetes
then die 4evr

Are vaccines ‘fucking bullshit’?

I have always been told that it is important to get vaccinated from miscellaneous evils like 'the flu', 'the bird flu', 'the swine flu', 'bacterial meningitis', miscellaneous Hepatitis strands, and even 'HPV.' As u grow older, ur body needs help fighting off these evil illnesses/bacteria/viruses. Feel sort of vulnerable, like I won't actually live 4evr.  Like there are tons of competing lifeforces that are in direct competition with my own personal lifeforce.

From what I understand, vaccines work because they 'introduce a lil bit of the strand of bad stuff into your body' so that your body is able 2 build up a natural immunity 2 the evil stuff. It's kinda weird how that works. Seems questionable. I feel like the goal of life is 2 'avoid being exposed to germs/etc', not to 'introduce the germs' into your system.  I think this is why companies created 'hand sanitizer' to make sure germs don't spread.

I got scared after watching this video. There was a 'perfectly normal broad' who took a vaccine, then her whole life got turned upside down.


She seems to have 'serious permanent damage' just because she took a flu shot. Needless to say, I won't be taking any vaccines any time soon because I don't want this to happen 2 me. Jesus Christ. Might as well 'get the lethal injection' instead of a vaccine. These things seem dangerous, and I can't believe so many health care professionals still believe in them. Maybe if they saw this video, they would change their minds. Afraid of taking a vaccine, then 'gettin da funky walk.'

It seems like 'the government' has made up an entire schedule of vaccines that I am supposed to take. I don't even know what is in these vaccines. I have heard tons of 'conspiracy theories' that the government is somehow trying to slowly kill us, or at least make sure we die by age 65 so that there aren't population+food issues.

I wonder if the government is trying to slowly kill you, me, & every1 we know.

I feel kinda afraid of swine flu, but I don't think it is worth it to take a vaccine. I might just quarantine myself in my loft for the next 1-3 years until the government kills all the people they want with the H1N1 vaccine. Worried abt the H1N1 vaccine. Part of me wants it since it is 'rare and valuable' (sorta like how people wanted Wiis when they first came out), but part of me is rlly afraid of it. Like this disease is going 2 kill me if it enters my body.

It seems to enter your body in a 'non-traditional way.'

I am rlly afraid of vaccines, yall. I wonder if I should 'risk my brand' and become an anti-vaccine spokesperson. Even though most anti-vaccine ppl seem 'krazie' right now, I feel like in the end, they will be 'right about everything.' I never want a needle entering my child's body, flushing evil into his pure system.

Do vaccines work, or are they just a myth?
Will vaccines kill u?
Should we be afraid of the government?
Do I really need health insurance, or can I take care of myself with proper nutrition and good decisions with multivitamins?
Is there any vaccine that 'actually works'?
Will infants and elders be 'wiped off the Earth' when the next pandemic goes down?

Previous Pandemic/Swine Flu coverage

Will a crocheted penis take my male brand to the next level? #cock_crafts #crocheting

Sometimes things inspire me. I recently saw this crocheted replica penis suspended from a yarn thread belt harness, and I thought 'Wonder what my life would be like if I had one of those.' It's always a good sign when u wonder if something could make ur life better, kinda like when I got insanely jealous when my college roommate got an iPhone and a Macbook and I was stuck with a Razr and a Dell Desktop. I feel like a knitted penis might make my life better/easier. I might actually 'learn how to crochet' just to make this craft. I know that crotcheting is often something that entry level alts learn to express themselves/make lame hats+scarves, but it seems like a yarn cock might be sweet to create.

It's chill to have a 'real penis', since u can do stuff with it like urinate or 'tug off', but sometimes I feel like there would be less pressure on men if they had some sort of yarn-based art+craft generated penis. Think about how ur penis can get you into trouble:

  • Implanting a baby in a girl
  • getting an STD
  • 'making poor decisions cuz ur thinking with ur peen'
  • making love to the wrong person
  • miscellaneous accident
  • peeing ur pants
  • make u look like a 'perv' when u 'get hard' in ur skinny jeans

I think life might be better if we could have some sort of 'replica peens'/sexual organs. Most men just see penis size as a social status symbol, so there has to be a way to create augmented realities 4 every1.  I feel like there would actually be a 'huge market' for this and not even just for aesthetic purposes. I understand that a lot of parents don't want their kids to receive free condoms ever, but a 'craft cock' might be the solution to everything.  If we could some how transition 'penis envy' into a fun accessory that men can customize, things would be better for teen boys who were 'still growing up' and men who were 'dissatisfied' with the size of their cumshooter.  There would also be less 'teen pregnancy' and less abortions, if yall think those are bad things.


It would be sweet to be able to customize your craft penis. If I wanted a '12 inch erect African American cock', then I could buy some purple yarn and start crafting my new tweeter. If I wanted an 8 inch needle-dick, I could possibly just use some 'pasta' to create the ideal penis. If I wanted a post-ironic millimeter peter, then I could create an art+craft on the microscopic level and people would appreciate my artistic skills and attention to detail. Here is a 'missle head' cock that I recently constructed.

What would ur art+craft peen look like?
Questions for females: What does ur ideal peen look like? Would you ever make a penis for your loved one?

Really think this post would be cool if we could have 'an actual discussion' about sexual organs instead of just giggling about this type of stuff. It makes me sad that tweens will live their entire lives' exposed to hi-speed video porn, thinking that life is just one huge 'fuckfest.' Feel bad for women in 2day's society since a lot of men just see them as 'fuck dolls' without realizing it.  Sad that men just think with their peters and hurt women and hurt themselves.  Wish ppl would realize the consequences and dangers of sex, and chill in monogamous relationships.

Should I learn how to crochet, or should I just keep shopping at Am Appy?

This is a post encouraging alternative men to check their testicles for lumps.

* do the self-examination lying in a warm bath or while having a long shower, as this softens the skin of the scrotum (skin sac that holds the testicles), which makes it easier to feel the testicles inside.
* examine the scrotum, looking for any lumps on the skin or swellings inside.
* cradle the whole scrotum and testicles in the palm of your hand and feel the difference between the testicles. One is almost always larger and lying lower. This is completely normal.
* examine each testicle in turn, and then compare them with each other. Use both hands and gently roll each testicle between thumb and forefinger.
* Check for any lumps or swellings as both testicles should be smooth except where the duct that carries sperm to the penis, the epididymis, runs. This lies along the top and back of the testicle and normally feels bumpy.

I sincerely want my readers 2 be healthy. 'Health' (not the band) will become a very relevant topic on this blog as I move forward. I want 2 live 4evr.


Screen urself.

Sorta wish I had a yarn peepee bc yarn doesn't get the cancer. :-(
Don't wanna die.

Want my female readers to be safe, too.

Also important that the aging music critic bros 'get their prostates examined.'

Much like 'unEarthing a buzzband', early detection is critical.

Beached Alt Spotted Outside of Walmart [via Meme Blog About Poor People who have 2 shop at the WalMart Store]

Photo Via Ppl of WalMart

Every few months, some sort of meme blog will emerge where a snarky blogger will write witty 1 liners about pictures of 'fucking retards' who are 'making asses of themselves' even though they are just 'being themselves.' Basically, u get to make fun of people who probably don't even really know how to read blogs, or how blog technology + modern publishing systems even work. If they do have a computer, it is probably a 'slow ass' desktop infected with a 'shitload' of 'spyware.'

This picture comes from a 'viral meme blog' called 'People Who Shop At WalMart because they are Poor.' The premise of the blog revolves around 'making fun of people' because they are 'fucking trapped in their lives' and they have to shop at Wal Mart. These people probably have some sort of mental or social issues, and end up 'looking like fucking jack asses' without even realizing it. Some1 will photograph them digitally, upload it to the internet, and come up with a relevant 'snark joke' which ensures that you are 'better' than the person pictured, not only because of your relatively regular personal appearance, but also because of ur elevated class+financial status.

I feel like this overweight person is attempting to be 'alt' by wearing some shuttershades, a black + neon hoodie and some kewl converse/Vans shoes.. He also had 'tight jeans' but that might be because of his weight problems. While it would be snarky to 'make fun' of this individual, it is more important to recognize that this minority represents everything that is wrong with America. We truly live in a Fast Food Nation where it is cheaper to gorge yourself on high-fat + high-sodium foods. Not only are poor people culturally-irrelevant due to their lack of connection with ongoing trends on the internet, but they are also priced out of fresh foods and organic options at chains like Whole Foods or Trader Bro's.

It would be 'so easy' to 'make fun' of this person, but in order to make our society a better place, we have to realize that we can't support big businesses like the Walmarts. They have basically enslaved the human race, and are encouraging us to die as soon as possible. Being educated and able to execute relevant trends is a true luxury, not just because of the high level media and humor that we get to consume, but also because of many of the high-end lifestyle choices that we get to make. While you may laugh at this 'beached alt', u have to realize that he is a victim of his own circumstances.

One day, the doctor will tell him that he has diabetes. One day the doctor will prescribe him with blood pressure medication. One day he will have his leg amputated [via diabetes]. One day this bro will be on life support. Your taxes are paying for this. We need to save the medical care system and the educational child feeding system before they use up all of our money. It seems like we might need to 'outlaw' all restaurants, and possibly have 'feeding ports' where all citizens eat for free only approved, well-balanced meals. Not sure if Obama is 'communist enough' to make this happen.

Should I move to a 'skinny state' or should I go to a 'fat ass state' and open a Chili's?

Do yall like the 'peoples of Walmart' blog, or is it too 'mean spirited', 'classist', and 'racist' 4 u?
Do u shop at the Walmart for unbeatable prices?
Are blogs getting 'too snarkie'?
Do u eat fast foods?
Is Walmart bad for small businesses?
Did a Walmart ruin ur local community/hometown?

Is Wal Mart some sort of 'watering hole' for poor people? Does it make u sad that u can't authentically hunt+gather n e more, and it is all just consumer bullshit corporate America decisions?

It seems like Viral Meme Blogs are successful because they encourage people to 'share laughs.' I feel sorta like the 'art of standup comedy' might be dead since it is such a long, boring experience to share with some1. It seems like it might be more 'instantaneously rewarding' to let people jump into a zany ass link that you shared with the world.

I honestly feel like healthcare will 'fix itself' if we just let the obese generations 'kill themselves.'
Do u have an opinion?
Should I start a commune?

Germaphobe Bro.

This post was made to promote science 2 innercity, 'at-risk' students.

Photo via hellooks

I am a bro who is afraid of germs. Typically, germs are considered to be tiny organisms, or living things, that can cause disease. I am very afraid of dying, and usually wear swine flu masks in public, as well as gloves that protect my hands.

However, I am also afraid of nontraditional germs. I am afraid of germs that are 'poisonous ideas.' I am afraid of things like 'racism', 'bad fashion', and anything that might taint the purity of my authenticity. I must protect myself from germs. I am germabrobe.

I have created a personal brand/a sense of reality and most of the ideas/people/objects/oxygen that I will encounter today are direct threats 2 who I am as a person. My body is a temple. My mind is a temple. My soul is a temple. My personal brand is a temple. I must protect myself much like George W. Bush protected the United States against 'the brown people of the Eastern World." Much like terrorists don't 'get' our freedom, mainstreamers/general-bros do not 'get' me.

I think Michael Jackson might have been the original Germaphobe-for-the-sake-of-keeping-bad-ideas-away. Feel like he was just a chill lil guy who wanted to 'stay a child' and not be exposed to the terrors/downfalls of humanity. He needed to live in a reality where 'playing with urself & other fellow children' was 'okay'--in a world where 'age is just a number.'

Michael Jackson was protecting his version of reality. He is the greatest entertainer of all-time, therefore he does not need to breathe the same air that 'normal people' do. He can't afford to get ill from germs [via the commonman]. In order to be a relevant symbol/public figure, u must let the world know that u r above 'regular' public spaces, societal norms, governing laws, and basically just about everything.

Being a cultural germaphobe is more than just a personal branding decision. It is kinda like some sort of 'very passionate, no-bullshit ideology' 4 people who want to live 'a better life.'

Protect yalls selves
from germs,

What do yall do to stay germ-free?
Do yall believe in hand-sanitizers?
Do u bathe in rubbing alcohol everytime u get home from being in public?
How do u protect urself from mental and physical diseases?

Indie restaurant Taco Bell starts selling indie Doritos in combo meal format


Taco Bell is a popular authentic Mexican food restaurant. Doritos are a popular corn chip which embody the essence of the Mexican cuisine in chip format. It seems like a 'natural combo' to offer the Nacho Cheesier flavored chips with the classic Taco Bell taco/burrito. It seems like this joining of forces will help profits go 'thru the roof' since people who enjoy Taco Bell are also big on Doritos.

Feel like this post is also a 'stock tip' that if you can buy stock, u should buy some of Taco Bell.

This $2 meal deal is gonna be a huge hit. People don't have enough money for $5 footlongs [via subway]. Humans are hungry, and need a snack on the go. The format of the taco, and the insulated Dorito chip bag offers Taco Bell a huge competitive advantage in the modern fast food market.

It seems like Doritos are probably expensive, so Taco Bell might lose some money in this combo bundle, but the CEOs probably aren't doing it for profits--they are doing it to strengthen their brand. We must take time to applaud modern business leaders who don't care about profits and under the value of the consumer and the brand.

Seems like Doritos + Taco Bell entrees will also appeal to the emerging 'health nut' demographics who want healthy meals without all of the bad poisons in them.

Will Taco Bell revolutionize the fast food industry?
What is ur favourite food at Taco Bell?
Is Taco Bell 'alt' [via the fourth meal]?
What's ur favourite flavour of Douritos?
Do u know why Taco Bell started 2 serve Doritos?

Do u think more chips should be bundled with restaurants?
Should they serve Sun Chips at Chipotle?
Should they serve Tostitos at Chili's?
Should they serve Cheetos at McDonalds?
Should they serve Fritos at TGIFriday's?
Should they serve ______ at __________?

Do veggie burgers contain toxic / deadly ingredients?

Just read some story about how veggie burgers are bad for you because they contain dangerous shit in them. Worried and sad. I became veggies-tarean because I wanted to be healthier, and stop eating meat. I eat between 7-10 veggie patties per week. Now I find out that veggie burgers might kill me.

A new study shows that a number of popular soy products contain trace amounts of hexane, which listed as a "hazardous air pollutant" by the EPA and is known to cause nervous system failure and skin disorders in humans. It's unclear how much hexane you need to eat before getting side effects, but do you feel lucky, veggie?

The 37-page report [PDF] says that though the use of hexane is prohibited in "organic" food processing, it's widely used in the "natural" soy industry, and even by some companies that use the wording "made with organic ingredients." Mother Jones reports that since many fake meat producers aim to have as little fat as possible in their products, they will soak soybeans in a hexane bath to separate the oil from the protein. One researcher said, "If a non-organic product contains a soy protein isolate, soy protein concentrate, or texturized vegetable protein, you can be pretty sure it was made using soy beans that were made with hexane."

I am not even sure what all of this means because I didn't take chemistry in high school, but it seems bad. I really think veggie burgers do a great job of replacing the normal hamburger you can get at Chili's, Fuddruckers, Five Guys, In-N-Out Burger, Wendy's, McDonalds, Burger King, Ruby Tuesday, Sonic, Whataburger, Burgertown, Red Robin, and Johnny Rockets. Kinda bummed that I might have to start eating fatty meat again just 2 stay alive longer.

Feel sad. I am not sure if it is even possible to make your own veggie patties. Seems like it would be impossible, like modern kitchens don't have what it takes to chop up veggies and mishmash them 2gether.

I guess veggie patties are marketed to people who want to lose weight by not eating fat, so they have 2 do whatever it takes to get fat out. Not sure how the human body / dieting works, but I think ur not supposed 2 eat any fat.

Am I going 2 die 1 day?
Will veggie patties give me diabetes?
Are vegetarians 'full of shit' & they should start eating meat?
Are veggie burgers bad 4 u?
Is the organic / healthy foods industry a pyramid scheme / evil gimmick?
Will I lose weight if I only eat veggie burgers for the rest of my life?
R u a vegan?
What's the best tasting burger in the universe?

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