[Photo via StoneyRoads]

So there I was. At my first music festival. After my most recent personal brand installation (AltBro Version 1.1). Not gonna lie–I was jacked up (on Sparks + 5HourEnergy). I was ready for electrobangers, meaningful crowd surfing on rafts, and just being myself–being free. I downloaded a bunch of free mp3s from my favourite discobloghouse blogs, and I was able to identify every single song in every single DJ set before any of my alternative peers. I am one of the world’s leading scholars on the history of electro after 2k7.  Have yall heard of the internet site hypemachines?

I am at a festival. There are tons of interesting people here looking to have a good time.

My experience will be meaningful. I am an active participant in relevant cultural activities. I am an alternative brother. The keyword is brother. I am a part of a family. I am a part of something bigger than myself. My alternative family ‘gets’ me. Our alternative context gives us a way to evaluate & appreciate the world around us.

Alternative Brother. I am. AltBro is I.

XX BONUS CURRENT AFFAIRS COMMENTARY XX
yall are probably familiar with Heartrevolution through either their band/ice cream truck/lifestyle brand.

Kinda hope it drives through my alternative neighborhood on Halloween so I don’t have to go trick or treating to hunt-and-gather food 4 the next month.

IS n e 1 else worried about their lil ‘truck of treats’ melting?

Remember before the ‘financial crisis’ when people were worried about ‘global warming’? Kinda glad this ‘financial collapse’ happened cuz I can relate to it on an authentic level, instead of an ‘abstract’ ‘concept’ like the ‘ice caps’ ‘melting.’ Nvr rlly believed in globes warmsing.

I wish I could Choose My Own Adventure. Is the Hearts Revolution lifestyle brand only for kidz under the age of 15? Is that why they sell iced cream & other fun snacks?

SRSLY THO… this song cracks me up.

I love the genre of music that it ‘would be impossible to believe that people could enjoy in any context, particularly normal ones like going 2 the grocery store or walking to my Psych 101 class on my college campus.’

SRSLY THO…
CHOOSE UR OWN ADVENTY, YALL.
No matter how old u r, u can choose 2 be alt.
Being Alt is an all-ages experience. U don’t have to like the Jonas brothers just bc all of the other kids like them.

[TheCobrabro]

According to wikipedia:

A lifestyle brand embodies the values and aspirations of a group or culture.
A successful lifestyle brand speaks to the core identity of its customers. Individuals each have their own sense of self, based on their background (e.g. ethnicity, social class, subculture, nationality, etc.). A lifestyle brand provides a powerful supplement to this core identity, by allowing the individual to publicly associate themselves with the brand. 

Alternative lifestyle brands are the present and the future of the arts & entertainment industry. Bands will no longer be bands; they will be lifestyle brands. Designers are lifestyle brands. Films must exists as lifestyle brands. Blogs and Websites are lifestyle brands. Humans will be lifestyle brands.

In order to be a lifestyle brand, you must do any combination of the following:

• Make Music
• Make T-Shirts
• Make totebags
• Have an e-commerce website
• Have ‘inventory’ of something cool within your apartment
• Participate in yardsales/own a vehicle from which you sell your goods from
• You have hired your best friend as a ‘designer’
• Have placed an ordered in bulk quantities from American Apparel
• Have a myspace page with 500+ friends
• Have exchanged emails with another ‘lifestyle brand’ about collaborating to make a cross-brander product
• Have a logo
• Have a website with over 100 images
• Have an internship program
• Have executed a ‘guerilla’ and or ‘viral’ marketing campaign
• Have been blurbed in an alternative magazine or blog
• Other crap that I’m sure people will cmmnt about

The best part about being a ‘lifestyle brand’ is that you are really easy to blurb about in alternative magazines that people may or may not read/take seriously. You supply writers with multiple ‘talking points’ that they can reference in blurb-style mentions. For example, HEARTSREVOLUTION.

Part of being a lifestyle brand means you don’t have to know what the hell you are talking about. Here is an interview with some people who work in an ice cream truck.

Lifestyle brands are the only way to reach alternative markets. If you are a band or a business, and your audience is not willing to let you steer their identity, then you should not exist. We should all strive to be lifestyle brands, and take over the psyches of your friends, family, and any one who ever encounters you. When other people see you, they should say, “I wish that person made a t-shirt that I could wear so that other people would know that I associate with him/her.”

For example, these kids love the Ed Banger Lifestyle Brand.

Should bands stop being ‘bands’ and start being ‘lifestyle brands’?
Do you know any one with a startup lifestyle brand that deserves to be blurbed about on HRO?
When will HRO officially be a lifestyle brand?

XX BONUS LIFESTYLE BRAND COVERAGE XX
A few of my favourite lifestyle brands:

• Communist China
• Nike
• Michael Jordan
• Pedro Winter/Tommy Banghalty
• Supreme
• McDonalds 50 Piece McNuggets
• Pizza Hut ‘Book It’ Program
• Broken Social Scene
• Erlend Oye
• Apple Computers
• Google
• Wal Mart
• Rickrolling

What are your favourite and least favourite lifestyle brands?