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So there I was. At my first music festival. After my most recent personal brand installation (AltBro Version 1.1). Not gonna lie--I was jacked up (on Sparks + 5HourEnergy). I was ready for electrobangers, meaningful crowd surfing on rafts, and just being myself--being free. I downloaded a bunch of free mp3s from my favourite discobloghouse blogs, and I was able to identify every single song in every single DJ set before any of my alternative peers. I am one of the world's leading scholars on the history of electro after 2k7. Have yall heard of the internet site hypemachines?
I am at a festival. There are tons of interesting people here looking to have a good time.
My experience will be meaningful. I am an active participant in relevant cultural activities. I am an alternative brother. The keyword is brother. I am a part of a family. I am a part of something bigger than myself. My alternative family 'gets' me. Our alternative context gives us a way to evaluate & appreciate the world around us.
Alternative Brother. I am. AltBro is I.
XX BONUS CURRENT AFFAIRS COMMENTARY XX
yall are probably familiar with Heartrevolution through either their band/ice cream truck/lifestyle brand.
Kinda hope it drives through my alternative neighborhood on Halloween so I don't have to go trick or treating to hunt-and-gather food 4 the next month.
IS n e 1 else worried about their lil 'truck of treats' melting?
Remember before the 'financial crisis' when people were worried about 'global warming'? Kinda glad this 'financial collapse' happened cuz I can relate to it on an authentic level, instead of an 'abstract' 'concept' like the 'ice caps' 'melting.' Nvr rlly believed in globes warmsing.
I wish I could be a lil alt/tween alt again. I feel like when you are younger, you have better ears, which allow you to appreciate music that it would be impossible for you to appreciate when ur older. For example, I don't 'get' the distorted electro-shriek sound of Hearts Revolution. If I could b a tween again, things might be different. I would be more open minded/free-spirited/impressionable.
I wish I could Choose My Own Adventure. Is the Hearts Revolution lifestyle brand only for kidz under the age of 15? Is that why they sell iced cream & other fun snacks?
SRSLY THO... this song cracks me up.
I love the genre of music that it 'would be impossible to believe that people could enjoy in any context, particularly normal ones like going 2 the grocery store or walking to my Psych 101 class on my college campus.'
SRSLY THO...
CHOOSE UR OWN ADVENTY, YALL.
No matter how old u r, u can choose 2 be alt.
Being Alt is an all-ages experience. U don't have to like the Jonas brothers just bc all of the other kids like them.
Sometimes I'll get pretty into a band, or a t-shirt company, or any other sort of business, and I find out that they are not what I think they are. They are in fact 'a lifestyle brand.'
According to wikipedia:
A lifestyle brand embodies the values and aspirations of a group or culture.
A successful lifestyle brand speaks to the core identity of its customers. Individuals each have their own sense of self, based on their background (e.g. ethnicity, social class, subculture, nationality, etc.). A lifestyle brand provides a powerful supplement to this core identity, by allowing the individual to publicly associate themselves with the brand.
Alternative lifestyle brands are the present and the future of the arts & entertainment industry. Bands will no longer be bands; they will be lifestyle brands. Designers are lifestyle brands. Films must exists as lifestyle brands. Blogs and Websites are lifestyle brands. Humans will be lifestyle brands.
In order to be a lifestyle brand, you must do any combination of the following:
The best part about being a 'lifestyle brand' is that you are really easy to blurb about in alternative magazines that people may or may not read/take seriously. You supply writers with multiple 'talking points' that they can reference in blurb-style mentions. For example, HEARTSREVOLUTION.
Part of being a lifestyle brand means you don't have to know what the hell you are talking about. Here is an interview with some people who work in an ice cream truck.
Lifestyle brands are the only way to reach alternative markets. If you are a band or a business, and your audience is not willing to let you steer their identity, then you should not exist. We should all strive to be lifestyle brands, and take over the psyches of your friends, family, and any one who ever encounters you. When other people see you, they should say, "I wish that person made a t-shirt that I could wear so that other people would know that I associate with him/her."
For example, these kids love the Ed Banger Lifestyle Brand.
Should bands stop being 'bands' and start being 'lifestyle brands'?
Do you know any one with a startup lifestyle brand that deserves to be blurbed about on HRO?
When will HRO officially be a lifestyle brand?
XX BONUS LIFESTYLE BRAND COVERAGE XX
A few of my favourite lifestyle brands:
What are your favourite and least favourite lifestyle brands?
Is it reasonable that I think of HEARTSREVOLUTION as a product that was brought to market after Crystal Castles kind of carved out the niche for people to be into 'electro-bands that consist of a male and a female'? I remember after Ladytron was a hit, there was kind of a supersaturated market of 'electro bands with female lead singers that sang about the night/drugs/sex/etc.' Now I think Crystal Castles has kind of inspired a tolerable mini-renaissance for this type of act.
I have haven't really listened to Heartsrevolution very extensively, but I think they are probably one of the most [highly documented] bands not named "JUSTICE" in party pics over the past 6 months. People who seem to know a lot about electronic music are pretty high on the remixes of their songs.
1. Which do u like more, hoodies, or masks?
Hearts Revolution might have given up the mask thing, or only used it for promo pix. However, Crystal Castles have somehow managed to transition from the 'angsty, dark teenager' hoodie aesthetic, over to the 'we are in a touring electro-band' aesthetic.
When will GAP make a hoodie ad-campaign and utilize Crystal Castles?
EDGE: CRYSTAL CASTLES
2. Who has better t-shirts/design visuals?
There's no way Crystal Castles can win this category after coming under so much scrutiny for 'stealing' the Chanel logo and their Madonna artwork.
The Choosing Your Own Adventure vision test t-shirt may or may not be one of the most memorable t-shirt metaphors of 2008.
EDGE: HEARTS REVOLUTION
3. Which female singer does a better job of applying eye makeup?
Alice from CC applies a heavy coat of black eyeliner, but the pink mask effect might put the HEARTSREV broad over the edge. Do yall think Alice was a Graveyard Girl in HS?
[image by SharkVsBear]
Edge: Hearts Revolution
4. Which band is more cryptic without being too annoying?
Do you know any one that actually knows the lyrics to Crystal Castles songs, and sings along while they drive their Volkswagon? I think it's pretty interesting how CC managed to make songs that 'sound interesting' enough to distract people from having lyrical expectations. It's like they have three or four 'distinct synths' that they just stuck to using.
On the other hand, one of the most memorable lines of HEARTSREVOLUTION's proudest song is
'foxes and bunnes/fire and snow/we are all just lost/don't which way to go.' Maybe I'd like it more if it was 10x more distorted, and I couldn't quite understand what they were saying.
HUGE EDGE: Crystal Castles
5. Which male member of the band does a better job of pretending to do something while playing live?
I've read on a lot of internet message board blog rumormills that Ethan from Crystal Castles is great at chilling on stage. The secret is that your body needs to crouch over your gear so that your body forms an angle that is smaller than 135 degrees. The closer to 90 degrees, the better.
Here's the Heartsrevolution guy
I don't really have an issue with people who 'don't play instruments live.' We can't all be as charming as Dan Deacon.
Edge: TOSS UP
6. Which band is more likely to have a song featuring Cory Kennedy?
Oh. HEARTSREVOLUTION already did that? Cory Kennedy can do everything!
HUGE EDGE: Heartsrevolush
7. Which is more likely to be driving an ice cream truck in 2 years after the implosion of the 'blog house' genre, and every one is into lofi and acoustic post-existential music?
Since Heartsrevolution is apparently more of a 'lifestyle brand' than a band, and they already have job experience driving ice cream trucks, we can assume that they have a head start on getting back into the truck again. However, Crystal Castles could always be the creepy van-with-no-windows that drives around your neighborhood selling only ice cream sandwiches and push pops.
SLIGHT EDGE: Hearts Revolution
8. Which 1 is better?
It's tough to really say. Every1 prefers different stuff. We're all different, so maybe we should just all unite, and have a good time, and be friends with every one. Let's build a scene that's all about positivity, and stuff like having fun and partying and stuff like that.
EDGE: It depends on what ur in2
[MP3s]
HEARTSREVOLUTION Prism Effect (feat. Cory Kennedy)
HEARTSREVOLUTION C.Y.O.A.
Crystal Castles Vs. Health Crimewave
Was "Crimewave" the first Health song that u ever heard?
Myspaces
http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles
http://www.myspace.com/HEARTSREVOLUTION
Alice Glass is the lead singer of Crystal Castles. She is known for her KrAzY onStAgE aNtiCs.
Read more>>>>
You might know HEARTSREVOLUTION as a ski-mask wearing band/DJ group, but during a day show at SXSW, they decided to ditch the masks.
Instead of wearing their traditional ski masks, the lead singer opted for the PAINTED-ON ZORRO MASK, which was a good alternative for the Texas heat.
Please let me know if there should be a better name for the painted on eye mask thingy. 
Any ideas?
[Photo by RedSlurper]
I think the 'Painted-On Glasses of LeVar Burton in Star Trek' might also be a good name for the phenomenon.
Learn More about HEARTSREVOLUTION.
http://www.myspace.com/heartsrevolution
BTW, Do you know what HEARTSREV is supposed to sound like? Crystal Castles? Le Tigre? The right mix of everything that's popular right now? I just listened to them for the first time ever running across so many remixes of their song "CYOA" over the past month. It's just tough to get a read on a band that owns and operates a candy truck.
Australia's finest son: Corey Delaney
A Guy who is taking the 'heartsrevolution' too seriously, ended up getting a HEART tattoo on his palm, and now traps at least 5 people per day in conversations about his quirky tattoo. You might have known him as the guy in highschool who always mentioned that 'the last time he shaved was _ months ago.'
A thirsty AZN who didn't want to pay for a bottle of Fiji Water.
Pix by SHARK VS BEAR
I enjoy the whole DJ/musician thingy as much as the next guy. However, I am mildly uncomfortable with the recent 'MASKED DJ' phenomenon. While you could easily say, "Daft Punk does just fine playing with robot helmets," I think newer acts should avoid getting grandfathered into playing in their masks. Unless you have masks with their own LCD display + internal cooling system, it's hard for me to view the pros as outweighing the cons.
I guess I'm mainly talking about two recent culprits who have really built up their 'WE PLAY IN MASKS' personal brand.
There's HEARTSREVOLUTION, who utilize the WalMart Ski-Mask Model.
And then the Bloody Beetroots, who use their LUCHA LIBRE (Mexican Wrestling) masks.
BURNING QUESTIONS
Do masks enhance a personal brand? Would I have taken Matchbox20 more seriously if they had played in masks? Is there a risk of dehydration and asphyxiation by wearing masks in a club environment? If you were a club owner, would you make these acts sign extensive waiver forms knowing the risks of wearing masks?
Visit the myspaces of the DJ duos who wear masks
http://www.myspace.com/thebloodybeetroots
www.myspace.com/heartsrevolution
