As yall know, I am a tween who attends an upscale private school with an emphasis on the performing & liberal arts. The tuition there is close to what some dumb people pay for a semester at their state university/community college. My parents aren’t the wealthiest people–fortunately I am on scholarship at this school. Sometimes I don’t fit in with all of the other rich, entitled kids, but it makes me work harder to be the best without the cushion of rich parents.

My mom is a little bit on ‘the free spirited side.’ She is one of the most active parents at school, and has formed many relationships with teachers and leaders of on campus organizations. I h8 to say this, but I am kinda embarrassed when we drive up to school in our old mini van, and then when my mom gets off the car sometimes. I feel poorer than the rest of the kids when I am doing a good job of fitting in, even though I don’t have all of the tools 2 fit in that other kids have. Wish my parents made more money. Want 2 fit in

Just sux. I ‘love’ my mom, but at the same time, kinda wish she would realize how important a personal brand is, even when ur a tween.

Just do me a favor and drop me off a block away from school, mom. If u loved me, u’d understand.

Previous free spirited mom coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/free-spirited-moms

What will I do next?
What will I wear next?
What will I say next?
What will I be next?

This was a poem that I wrote to support uniforms + dress codes in public school.


XX BONUS FOREST ALT XX
This bro lives in the forest, free from society, and free from design/fashion norms. His life is simple, yet conceptual, and he has a clearer state of mind than you.

[via lookbook]
In 2k8, there was the electro jungle, populated by entry levels in Am Appy headbands + neon/Afrikan leggings & altbros in oversized graphic print tees. Now that we live in a less-electro era, we will venture into the Conceptual Forest. In this forest, we can hear songs more conceptual, open-ended songs. The Conceptual Forest is an incubator for authentic expression and progressive techniques of recording sounds.

In the Conceptual Forest, our minds are free, and we seek ‘meaning’ that we cannot find in a major metropolitan area. We are alone in this Conceptual Forest, allowing us to get in touch with who we truly are.

Will u leave a major metropolitan area 2 find urself [via the Conceptual Forest] in 2k9? (At least maybe take a weekend trip?)

/// We are living in a Post-Merriweather Post Pavilion World
/// And I am a Conceptual Bro

Sometimes I see people who have made outrageous personal branding choices and wonder about their context. Do they contribute to society/the economy? Are they in a field where they express themselves? Do they just float around from weekend to weekend, working menial jobs in between? Are they important consultants to people within artistic industries? I just want to know what context/career I need 2 be in to make outrageous personal branding choices without looking like “I’m trying 2 hard.”

Should I colour my hair blue/pink and get a mediocre office job?
Is it safe 2 assume that tweens with coloured hair are destined to be failed purgatory alts who never leave their suburban community?
Should there be a legal age limit for ‘colouring ur hair a bright colour’?
Should I move to Australia since it is warm there, and use SUN IN in my hair?
Should I frost my tips?

Kinda excited abt Christmas. Might start the excessive ’should I buy ____ for Xmas’ posts gimmick.
Do any Jews read this blog? Or is it mainly just WASPS, Mexicalts, and blipsters and AZNs?
What are yall getting 4 Christmas/Jewsmas/Kwanzmas/AZNmas?

This is a post about how I h8 lil kids who have 2 much personality. Lil Douchebag Kids usually have wealthy parents. There is a father who makes a lot of money, and a mom who ‘loves their kid to death.’ This means they get to eat an unhealthy breakfast. Typically, male lil dbag kids have long hair and a ‘California skater aesthetic.’ These kids usually don’t do well in school and (pretend to) have learning disabilities. However, these ‘learning disabilities’ are usually justified as ‘having an active personality.’ Teachers expect less from lil dbag kids because they know they will never have to worry about anything in life.

My son has an active personality. I let him grow his hair out, because he is different. He is beyond his years.

I just want my daughter 2 have 0 worries. I only want her 2 express herself + start dating at age 7. She will go through an alternative phase, but I am confident that she will end up mainstream by age 19.

I wish I could go back in time and convince my parents to ‘let me show the world who I was’ at a young age. I want to go back in time so that I could tell my parents about online boutiques for kidz so that I could have a more unique personal brand as a kid.

I want to be a lilBagBro. I don’t want to be ‘good at school.’ I want to be good at being funny/expressive/being ‘a breath of fresh air.’

I want to let people know that I might be from California, and that I might be a participant in Xtreme Sports. People need to know that I have an xtreme personality. I want to dress and smell like I am going to my first high school dance every day of the week. I want to merge ‘cool’ and ‘post-casual’ fashion. I want hair product.

I want 2 be a lil girl. I want to connect with my depressed mother [via shopping therapy]. I want to wear prints that single, saucy 32 year old women wear on ‘girls nite out’s + to their job as a receptionist.

“We have trouble concentrating in class. We do impressions of popular movies/television shows. Our parents don’t let us drink soda/let us drink a lot of soda. We are ‘hyperactive’ and have a low reading level.”

‘We have a glorified hobby which our parents have branded us as ‘being good at.’ We pursue this hobby our whole lives’, but end up not being very gifted at all. Our whole world will then fall apart, and we will attend college for 2 semesters at a local school. We will drop out and live in an apartment complex within 5 miles of our parents’ house. We will drink cheep beer and post myspace photos. We will shop at the mall. We will be independent.’
-lil dbag kidz in the future

Should we do more to ban ‘personality’ in public elementary schools?
Are ‘kidz with 2 much personality’ growing up with an unhealthy perception of ‘the world’ + ‘his or her own place in the world’?
Is adolescence a false extension of childhood?
Should I build a time machine to see how my life would have worked out if I had a stronger personal brand when I popped out of my mother’s womb?

[Photo by HelLooks]

Srry yall, I just wanted to post this bc I nvr want to forget the epic Alt that is Patchy McPinPatch.

Remember her? http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/06/patchy-mcpinpatch.html

[Photo by The Facehunter]

s00 excited about winter. I remember in my post about Pea Coats, I blggd abt how winter gives you the opportunity 2 express urself in a way that u can’t for 75% of the year. SRSLY though… not even sure what the thingies on this guy’s sweater even are. Just know that they are phallic symbols (A.K.A. “peen-shaped symbols”).

I hope this winter isn’t too much about cryptic symbols on popular clothing items. I’m not sure if I’m ready to move beyond solids & stripes into a more abstract space. Just feel like those represent my personal brand really well without ’saying 2 much.’

SRSLY tho…what’s on his sweater, yall?
Power Tools? Art Supplies? A makeup kit? Electric toothbrushes? Non-Crayola magic markers?

*********************
XX BONUS XX
*********************
ARE LEGGINGS FOR PREGGERS PEOPLE?
*********************

Fruity Loops (necklaces): Big in 2k10?

Or are trashbags+leggings the future of female fashion?

[Photo by Hel Looks]

[Photo by HelLooks]

Please justify your answer in order to receive HRO POINTS.  These points will be redeemable for AlternativeGoodies in 2k23.

For example:  ”He is an altbro bc he is wearing Converse AllStars.” 

OR  ”He is an altbag because he is wearing Converse AllStars.”

ALTBRO//OR//ALTBAG//?//

It just sux cuz I’ve had to work a lot since my Macbook crashed. I h8 making excuses to my bosses who ‘don’t get me’ and can’t appreciate how unique/cultured I am. To make money to finance my new iMac, I got a job in the electroConstruction industry. Usually I’d be embarrassed 2 wear a ‘poor person uniform’, but I think this neon construction vest really aligns with my personal brand.

[by Colette/GAP: a mainstream+alt collab]

Yall need to go to college so u don’t end up working menial jobs like me. If you attend college for at least 1 year, you will be guaranteed any job u want in the restaurant/coffee shop industry. It might even open doors to be ‘the guy who takes money’ at the door of a club.
DON’T END UP LIKE CARLES. GO 2 ART COLLEGE (for 1+ semester).
FOLLOW YALLS DREAMS. (don’t have 2 actually graduate, but being around an economy of young people will help u feel better abt urself + enable u to set alternativeGoals.)

******************
BUT SRSLY
Should I be Justice DeRosnay for Halloween?


[HelLooksImages]

She also helps to illustrate that there are more options when u wear flannel than when u wear American Appy. If u rlly ‘analyze’ how many colours are on flannel products, u will realize that there’s 3.3 colours per flannel item. Am Appy items average about 1.21 colours per item. That’s just math, yall. More colours = More personality. That’s just altLogic, yall.

The more options u give urself, the more dynamic & intriguing ur personal brand will be.

U can see this broad could have helped Lewis & Clark discover Portland with her Pocahontas moccasins. (is it still alt 2 wear flannel, or is that a lil bit too 2k7.6?) [BONUS LOST TOURIST COUPLE IN THE BACKGROUND]

[The Style Scout]

Lately I’ve been going to a lot of fabric stores to buy Indian-ish prints to make zany pants out of. Native Americans do a lot of natural drugs and end up seeing minimalist, yet zany patterns.

[Hel Looks]

Are yall going to buy stock in Native Americans soon, or is the economy 2 fragile right now?
How far will u go 2 commit to this trend?