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GRAPHIC PHOTO: Cults lead singer Brian Oblivion suffers severe 3rd degree burns to face (5 comments) |
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NYTimes calls Lana Del Rey 'a skinnier Adele'. Do they h8 fatties? (19 comments) |
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Bon Iver's Justin Vernon apologizes 2 Carles. Has he won the first battle against the Corrupt Indie Machine? (13 comments) |
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I Am Carles Returns with LIMITED EDISH VALENTINE'S DAY shirt. (17 comments) |
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Madonna says M.I.A. ruined her show, is 'a stupid teenager' (8 comments) |
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EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE: Beyonce and Jay-Z release first pictures of their fake baby! (7 comments) |
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Alexis Krauss shows off her BANGIN BOD in GQ Magazine. She truly is 'Sexi Lexi.' (18 comments) |
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"BUZZ BANDS" was a category on Jeopardy. Have BUZZ BANDS crossed over 2 the mnstrm? (15 comments) |
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Tyler the Creator spotted bronoodling with 'this nigga' Kanye West. Are Big Thangs Poppin? (11 comments) |
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LANAMANIA hits Los Angeles, frenzied fans begin sobbing in Lana Del Rey's presence (36 comments) |
In the spirit of the Olympics, I figured I should try to find out who the world's ALT-est athletes are. Athletes aren't just people who play sports. They have personalities, too. While most are just the typical ass holes who probably just 'listen to hiphop to get pumped up before games', some athletes display that they exist in a different world than the rest of the cliched professional athlete fraternity.
I want to support the alt-est athletes in the world.
It might be Steve Nash and Thierry Henry.
But Steve Nash also has a bro-mance with Baron Davis.
It might be Cristiano Ronaldo since he is orange and has a fauxhawkmullet.
But Kobe Bryant drives a Delorean and grew up in Italy. That's pretty authentic.
Fernando Valenzuela was significant to the Mexis/southern Californians. He was the first person to ever wear a Dodger cap.
Even David Beckham wears Dodger caps now
Is it alt to play American soccer + live in Los Angeles?
Dennis Rodman had a pretty krazie personal brand. He also banged Madonna.
Alex Rodriguez also banged Madonna. Does that make him alt?
Kerri Strug might be a lil alt.
Was Tonya Harding ALT before or after she got THICK? Is it okay to call mean people 'fatties'?
Greg Louganis was GHEY and he hit his head on the diving board. That was around when people didn't 'get' AIDs so it was kind of a big deal. Glad I live in educated, tolerant times.
Brian Boitano was also a GHEY Olympic icon. Wonder if China lets their athletes be 'gay.'
Rafael Nadal wears capri pants.
Michael Phelps was pretty alt when he had his post-post-ironic mainstream moustache.
Without a moustache, he is just an awkward freak bodied boy.
What about NBA player Kyle Korver. He looks like a caveman had a baby with Ashton Kutcher.
Ron Artest is pretty zany!
Remember the time he was so alt that he attacked white people in the stands?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuPBbKCW1no&hl=en&fs=1]
Barry Bonds is pretty authentic for using roids.
Mike Tyson got a sillie face tatty! Such a sillie, African-American personal brand!
Cuba Gooding Jr. won over the hearts of America when he was an athlete in that movie.
But the cast of the SANDLOT was pretty alt. They wore vintage clothing.
Remember that time Michael Vick raised all of those dogs to fight other dogs? He's chillin in jail, makin friends and stuff.
<3 pet owners <3
pet owners = authentic
Sprinters with no legs are pretty meaningful-core. Pretty authentic.
I think this specific pair of Air Jordans are pretty alt.
No1 likes the Spurs and they are better than every1 else. Does that make them 'hipster' according to the commonly accepted definion?
The Williams Sisters are fashion icons. They used 2 cheat to let 1 another win.
WHO IS THE ALT-EST ATHLETE IN THE WORLD?
IS IT MAINSTREAM TO 'ENJOY THE OLYMPICS'?
Do u care about ur country?
N e ways... how about the Opening Ceremonies? They were designed so well. I minored in performance art, so I genuinely appreciate stuff like that. 
What's more important: sports or music?
Which industry will die first: sports or music?
When will people believe that they are entitled to 'watching sports' for free?
When will people believe that they are entitled to 'experiencing music' for free?
Any altbro who vibes to sports always wants 2 know 'who is the biggest hipster in the NBA?' In the past several years, we've witnessed blipster culture invade the NBA. No longer are they just vibing to hiphop culture. Instead, they want to be swag ass blipsters. Since there is a lockout, and there are no games 2 overanalyze, bloggers are 'effing desperate' to create content, which is why some talking head bros took it upon themselves 2 figure out 'who is the biggest hipster in the NBA?'
James Harden?
Baron Davis seems alt.
Matt Bonner seems like he chills pretty hard with buzzbands.
Do u feel like u finally know who the 'biggest hipster' in the NBA is?
Will there ever be an 'indie lockout'? Or a 'blogger lockout'?
Can an athlete truly be alt?
Who is the alt-est athlete in the world?
Do NBA players know what a 'true hipster' is?
Congrats Carles
not the blogger
but the football player named "Carles Puyol"
who we can only assume was named after
"Carles"
the blogger from the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF
u did it
u made ur country 'the best in the world'
No1 can take this away from u
and you probably get a coupon book
filled with 'free BJ' coupons
4 the rest of ur life
He seems chill
to be named "Carles"
Seems likely that there will be a new wave of
humans named "Carles"
Tons of babies born all around the world
inspired by the transcendent writing of 'Carles'
the author, blogger, editor, designer, meme generator and 'Social Media Guru/Ninja'
behing the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF
Seems like a chill bro
that all bros wanna be bros with
They seem to be 'following him'
like he is a tastemaker, then they all decided to buy the same red Am Appy jersey
Will u name ur child 'Carles'?
Is Carles Puyol the most authentic footballer in the world?
Do u know n e 1 named Carles in real life?
Does Carles Puyol seem chill?
Do u wanna ride SpanishWaves/EspanaWaves?
Is it more alt to be into 'Spain' instead of 'Portugal' [via Panda Bear's expatriate compound]?
Does n e 1 know how to 'pronounce' the name 'Carles'?
a) Carlz
b) Carulllzz
c) Cars los
d) Careless
e) Car-less
f) Charullz
g) Kaharlahes
h) Carleth
i) Carlin
j) Krawl
k) Choose ur own pronunciation
Dennis Rodman is 'famous' for being an outgoing personality/having a zany personal brand when he was in the NBA. I am not sure if he ran out of money or something, but he is attempting to 'launch his DJ career.' I am not sure if there are any special skills needed to be a DJ, or if there is a background check + certification process. Guess he is just trying to utilize his fame / brand to pick up some money.
Do u think he will make 'mad bank'?
On Friday, basketball's bad boy will make his second DJ debut at Derby Pretty, one of the many pre-Derby celebrations. The spectacle surrounding the first leg of the Triple Crown has become just as renowned as the esteemed race itself, and if anyone knows how to party, it's Rodman.
The bash in Louisville will be Rodman's second appearance as a DJ, signaling the start of his newest post-basketball career attempt. Rodman made his debut on April 23 in Connecticut at the Mohegan Sun Casino's Ultra 88 Nightclub alongside DJ Vic Latino, much to the satisfaction of the club's staff.
Is Dennis Rodman an authentic alt, or is he just an 'out of control drug addict'?
Does he have a 'rabid fan base'?
What kind of music do u think he plays? Guido Techno?
Should he become an iPad DJ?
Can any1 be a DJ?
Is he 'abusing' the art of DJing?
Will Dennis Rodman launch an anonymous chillwave project?
Was Dennis Rodman the greatest rebounder of all time, or was he overrated because he played on 'great teams'?
Is Ron Artest 'more alt' than Dennis Rodman because he fought white people in the stands?
Is Dennis Rodman the original blipster?
