HIPSTER RUNOFF

Bro
What kind of bro r u?
A festival bro?
A mnstrm bro?
An altbro?
A transcendent bro?

I see ur 'HIPSTER SHIRT'
providing commentary on
'what ppl wear 2 music festivals'
the state of the modern retail space
and individual pressure on ppl 'to be alt'

Chill shirt, bro
But at the same time, it is kinda entry-level
Maybe u 'don't get it'
and ur just vibing in that shirt 2 get some LOLs
get some girls 2 talk 2 u
Maybe end up on an alt blog

Congrats bro
on ur effing 'hipster shirt'
Way 2 meme it up
at a music festivval

Eff

Recently, my mom gave me her old Volvo. It is a GREAT piece of machinery. We've had it for years, and it even held up after years and years of car pooling, spills, and drives to soccer practice. Now that I am old enough to drive, my parents wanted to get a new car, so naturally, they gave me the old Volvo. Even though it is old, am very proud to be a teenage driver, and I will do my best to maintain the car. However... I needed to make it MY car... I needed some of my personal brand to be exposed on this sweet ride...

I decided to make a list of all of my favourite buzzbands.... on my car.

Arcade Fire, Black Keys, Flogging Molly, Interpol, Bright Eyes, Mumford and Sons...
The other side has some really choice bands as well... Two words: The Decemberists.

Who needs a bumper sticker when you can make these bands a part of your car's brand forever. People will know that I am SERIOUS about my love for indie, my love for buzzbands, and my passion for mp3s. It's great to be a modern indie music fan. I know that my taste in MP3s can really help me 2 stand out.

Do u think my indie mobile looks 'effing amazing'?
Will people take my love 4 buzzbands seriously?
What buzzbands would u write on ur car?
Do u think this display of love for buzzbands increased or decreased the value of the car (in both buzz bucks and real $$$)?
What crappy overground buzzband names do u think are on the other side of the car? Pavement? DeathCab? Of Montreal?

Yelp is some sort of micro-local data mining and reviews service that ppl use to figure out if restaurants and local businesses are worth going 2, or if you are going to go there and it will be one of the creepiest experiences of ur life. It has become a way to 'filter' relevant 'dive spots' that you would ordinarily be afraid of going in2 because they are on 'the poor, coloured side of town.' Anyways, I have never used it because I prefer the comfort and consistency of chain restaurants, but they apparently let you describe an environment/ambience as 'hipster' now.

So apparently sometime recently Yelp added the ambience category of "hipster" to its restaurant, bar, and coffee shop listings (threads date back to March 2 talking about it). You can't search using the hipster category on Yelp, which is terribly disappointing. But hopefully that will change and you'll be able to sort by hipster, either as places to avoid or places you'll want to go to.

I sorta wanna check out some 'hipster ass spots' in my relevant local scene. Do yall use Yelp? Do 'effing hipsters' use yelp, or will this ambience just be utilized by ppl who don't feel alt enough in certain hang out spots?

Is Yelp a great way 2 discover chill ass places 2 eat?
Has Yelp ever tricked u going into a shit hole that was branded as a 'dive'?
Do u only eat at dive wave 5-star restaurants?
Do u ever have a bad experience at a restaurant/business, so u just create a Yelp account for the sake of writing a damning review, then never using it again?

What type of small biz vibe do u prefer?
Which 'ambience' seems the most authentic?

• Romantic
• Hipster
• Trendy
• Intimate
• Dive-y
• Casual
• Classy
• Touristy

What ambient vibe do lamestreamers chill at?
Should I go somewhere touristy?
Should I chill somewhere 'casual'?
Do yall only eat at places that are 'hipster', 'dive-y' and 'trendy'?
Do yall use Yelp, or is it just filled with angry ppl and lamestreamers who think they are food reviewers?
Should Groupon start Yelping and living socially?

It seems like some sort of big game hunter has moved beyond hunting exotic animals like emus, polar bears, panda bears, manatees, and coral reefs, and is looking to hunt relevant alternative subcultures of humans. Placed within this trap are a pair of wayfarers, a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, a pack of American Spirits cigarettes, and some sort of yellow anal beads (can't tell what those are). This is a trap that is designed to imprison 'hipsters.'

Maybe it's not a 'big game hunter.' Maybe it is just some zany local artist who thinks he will 'break thru' by jumping on the hipster bashing meme (plus his dad had some bear traps hanging around). Using a violent image like the concept of the bear trap, the artist desires to not only bash the 'effing hipster' but to violently maim him or her.

Would yall ever get caught in a 'hipster trap' with entry level wayfarers?
Have yall seen these traps out in 'the wild'?
What would yall put in a 'hipster trap'?
Does this hunter bro need to 'step it up' and buy some Sparks / Apple products / have speakers playing a relevant buzzband's underground tunes?
If u were a big game hunter who 'got bored with animals', what type of humans / subcultures / races would u hunt + mount?

Do yall think that Panda Bear got 'caught in a bear trap' during 2k10, which is why TOMBOY took so long?

Are 'hipster bashing memes' still relevant?
Should I set out some 'hipster traps' and 'tech bro traps' at SXSW?
Do yall know where I can buy ________ traps?
Do u wish u could invent a 'lamestreamer trap' that is filled with episodes of Glee, American Idol, WalMart gift gards, NASCAR gear and Lady Antebellum CDs?

Since the movie industry no longer has money 2 waste on young digital filmmakers unless ur name is Andy Sandberg, tons of viral video bros are forced to upload their videos to the internet, and hope that they make some thing that 'goes viral' and gives them attention.

These bros seemed 2 try to capitalize off the whole "Lamestreamers not know who the Arcade Fire is" meme and made some viral video about it. Not sure if they really did a good job, but at least it was 'topical', maybe. I wonder if 10 years from now, ppl will remember when the Arcade Fire won, or if this is all just some forgettable viral meme. These dudes just tried 2 be funnie then beat eachother up except there was just 'fake violence.' Nothing graphic or shocking. Kinda disappointing.

Are these dudes 'funnie'?
Did they 'crush it' with the unique concept, great acting, and amazing cinematography?
Or are they just another case of dudes who wasted their money on a digital camera just 2 upload it 2 youtube and never get paid for it/get recognized for it?
Is this 'premium hipster bashing' or mad lame?
U think they are on the fast track 2 Second City / Saturday Night Live / Kids in the Hall?
Or are they more likely to end up on MAD TV?

Arcade Fire

Buzzband

The Arcade Fire is a 2k0s indie band that went mainstream because their songs sound like meaningful anthems. They pretend to be Canadian but Win Butler (lead singer) is actually from Houston, TX.

Lists: mindie (mainstream indie), Members of the Arcade Fire, indie bands that debuted in the Billboard Top 10, Canadian

Read more>>>>

After the success of the hit television show 'Jersey Shore: The Story of Filthy Guidos Having Sex With One Another', MTV seems to have extended the Shore franchise, launching a new show called "HIPSTER SHORE." I am not sure if this is 'real' or if it is just some sort of 2k6 style hipster bashing video that is rebranded 2 have a modern appeal 4 lamestreamers 2 'laugh at hipsters'.

Do u think this show seems 'awesome' or 'boring'?
Is hipster bashing 'still relevant'?
Are 'hipsters' still alive or dead?
Do these characters seem as compelling as The Sitaushion, Cheeto, DJ Paula Dean, and J-Boobb, or will the Jersey Shore 'never be topped'?

do hipster bashing videos in our modern world make u sad?
Will Hipster Shore become a cultural sensation?
Did this viral video utilize tons of funny + original 'hipster bashing' jokes, or did it just perpetuate 'the usual crap' [via PBR]?
Who is ur fave character on the Jersey Shore/Hipster Shore?
"When will effing hipsters ever learn that they are not original?" -a mainstreamer LOLing at hipster bashing meme videos

Some 'startup' web company named themselves 'Hipster.' They are getting 'tons of tech blog coverage' just to get tons of 'hipster bashing' and 'oddly enough' coverage. No1 really knows what the hell their service will do, but HRO Tech Insiders can guarantee that this service will add no value 2 any1's life.

It seems like they started out as some sort of 'pyramid scheme' registration gimmick, which means they are doomed 2 fail bc there is no way they would offer a valuable service if they had 2 be all gimmicky.

Here is an intro segment from a mainstream tech blog where they choose to name-drop 'MGMT' instead of 'Vampire Weekend.'

Is it just me or is everyone and their skinny jeans wearing, MGMT-listening mothers a hipster nowadays? Nowhere is this more evident than in tech (thanks Twitter). And behold, the latest sign of the tech hipster-ocalypse, a startup actually called Hipster.

The company is in “stealth” mode and asking people not to say what they do publicly. But they’re pimping themselves hard on Hacker News, offering “earlier access” if you invite 3 friends. Of course.

I remember when my buzzband was in 'stealth mode', before we sent 'press release' emails 2 bloggers, but then we left private beta alpha stealth, and emailed bloggers, but then we didn't get any press, so we are still kinda in 'accidental stealth' mode.

Do u think Hipster is going 2 be a buzzworthy company that will replace Facebook?
Will Hipster be a social network for buzzbands / buzz humans?

Here is something that the 'founder' said abt why HIPSTER is a kewl name 4 a 'startup' business.

“I feel that the term “Hipster” has been used so frequently in recently years, that it seems to have lost virtually all meaning – its kind of like a blank slate to project whatever ‘Hipster’ image you want. We’re now left with an easy to spell, memorable name that makes most people laugh.”

Wonder if they did some sort of meaningful 'feasibility study' or if they were like 'let's just follow our passion and see if we can get some organic viral buzz.'

Do u think the era of 'launching buzzworthy startups that get blog coverage' has replaced the era of 'launching buzzworthy buzzbands that get blog coverage'?
After the Social Networks ft Mark Zuckerbro, does every tween in the USA want 2 start a 'bloggable startup'?
Do u think this web service will combine Yelp, Pitchfork Media, Groupon, Myspace, tumblr, tweetspace, Friendster, Kazaa, Hype Machine, HIPSTER RUNOFF, and Vice Magazine?
Do u think this web startup is 'hella forgettable'?
R u gonna start a startup or a buzzband in 2k11?
What do u think u will name ur buzz startup?
Do yall know any good angel investors / incubators that will help me to fund my EP/startup?

From what I understand, ppl like to go to coffee shops, open up their Macbooks, then 'pretend to work.' They 'take over' an alt coffee shop that isn't Starbucks, then become 'regulars' and just go 2 prove that they 'srsly have their own small business/freelancing job' that requires 'intense focus.' Really feel like every1 should work in an office just so they feel 'repressed by society' and work harder/feel like slaves.

Anyways, some NYTimes writer did some 'trend piece' abt how ppl go to coffee shops to drink coffee and 'work' on the internet. Trying to really deconstruct the concept of 'The_Office' and how young ppl need creative, energetic zones 2 evolve in2 a modern entrepreneurial vibe.

On a day when the cafe Internet connection had already been down for four hours, and the toilet had been blocked for even longer, I thought I had seen these worker bees pushed to their limit. But I had underestimated them. Nothing could stir these people. They were not in New York; they were citizens of Laptopistan.

For some reason the author of this article created a fictional world called LAPTOPISTAN 2 describe life inside of this coffee shop. Feels like this is some sort of high school journalistic tactic or something. Really took it to the next level acting like he was on a safari/expedition:

I was an interloper among them, an anthropologist of sorts, sent to untangle their odd society, to understand their mores and unwritten rules. How did the natives interact? How did the government function? What was the economy like in this land of bottomless cups and table hoggers? And what, oh what, were they all writing?

I was, admittedly, a profoundly skeptical observer. Though I had been a freelance writer for the last eight years, I had always worked at home, clad in pajamas and brewing my own fuel rather than paying $3 for someone to make pretty designs in my caffeinated foam. Whenever my wife suggested that I get out of the house, maybe take my laptop to a cafe, I shot back: “Real freelancers don’t work in coffee shops. It’s just unemployed hipsters and their unpublished novels, or screenplays, or Facebook stati.”

Here is some 'poetic' chunk where they say 'ppl were staring in2 their Macbook screens yall!'

Laptops had colonized every flat surface. No one uttered a word; people just stared into screens, expressionless. It felt like that moment in a horror movie when the innocent couple stumbles into a house filled with hibernating zombies, and they listen, in terror, as the floorboard creaks.

Really wonder if this person really 'sees the world' like this or if they are just 'pretending 2' 4 the sake of 'writing a beautiful article abt the state of the modern world.'

Wonder if I can open up a coffee shop called LAPTOPISTAN and transform it in2 a perfect microsociety/money-making scheme.

Here is another 'trying 2 hard' paragraph where the journalistbro talks abt how it is s000 hard to get thru the 'jungle of power cables'.

Entering Laptopistan is a task in itself. The floor presents an obstacle course of power cables snaking their way around coffee cups, over chairs, and around table legs, eventually finding a home in one of two power strips that look as though they came from a Soviet coal refinery. Whenever a plug is inserted, the outlet sparks, and certain movements can cause all the plugs on a given strip to simultaneously eject.

Glad I have a Macbook instead of a lame ass PC:

A quick glance around shows I have brought my laptop, a month-old MacBook Pro, to its nesting ground. Diversity here means the odd white MacBook or old black PowerBook scattered amid the silver MacBook Pros. Throughout the week I will see only a handful of PCs, each looking sadly out of place, like they have arrived at a black-tie affair in a corduroy blazer.

Here are just a few more dumb sentences that say LAPTOPISTAN:

Laptopistan’s is an entrepreneurial economy, driven by solitary thinkers.

LAPTOPISTAN

My long-held notion that Laptopistan’s citizens were just sitting around e-mailing other writers in other cafes around the world dissipated as I got to know the MacBook Pro owners around me. Sure, there were aspiring screenwriters, novelists and people updating Twitter...

LAPTONIA

Laptopistan provides structure, and freelancers, like children, secretly crave structure. You come to work, for two or four or eight hours, and you take comfort in the knowledge that everyone else is there to work as well. There’s a silent social pressure to it all.

LAPTOPPED STATES OF LAPTOPICA

LAPTOPBROS

MOST Laptopistanis — Laptopistanites? Laptopistanians? — at Atlas are in their 20s, 30s or early 40s, split evenly between men and women. The dress is casual, with both sexes wearing T-shirts, sweaters and jeans, though a few women seem dressed for “work” with button-down blouses, blazers, even a dress or two. Most Laptopistanis work alone, though occasionally I spotted a group collaborating at a corner table. Socially, Laptopistan is a conservative society; outward displays of emotion are frowned upon. Most people hide behind their screens.

Really want to learn what it is like 2 go 2 work in a coffee shop every day instead of in an office. Wish I could be a creative entrepreneur and 'make my own schedule.'

The article closes by saying that LAPTOPISTAN created a perfect society because the journalist bro 'watched some other dude's laptop when he got up 2 take a piss':

After an hour or so, the guy next to me got up to go to the washroom, turned toward his laptop and looked at me.

With a nod, I completed the transaction. When he walked away, I smiled. It was not a big smile; most likely it was barely visible to anyone looking beyond my screen. Precisely the secret smile that citizens of Laptopistan allow themselves when no one’s looking.

Sorta want to move to Laptopistan.
Do u think 'ppl working in coffee shops' is a relevant trend?
Are ppl who claim to 'work' in coffee shops 'full of shit'?
Do ppl in coffee shops need 2 'shut the eff up' so that I can focus on facebook/twitter?
Is this the opposite of a 'hipster bashing' article, like some sort of 'hipster justice' piece where they 'correct' stereotypes?
Do u work on ur laptop 2 do rlly important stuff?
Is Laptopistan 'the perfect' society?

Just read some 'press release' abt how some guy robbed a bank. Then there was some sort of 'security footage' of him, and he 'looked like an effing hipster' because he was wearing a messenger bag (to carry money), emo glasses (to evaluate his surroundings), and an 'ironic' cream colored sweater. His age range was 'effing twenty something.' He is also a 'very vegan' 150-170 lbs.

Really unsure as 2 whether or not this guy was a 'real hipster' or if he is just a mainstreamer pretending 2 be alt in order to 'throw off the cops' from finding him. Feel like every day tons of mainstreamers pretend 2 be alt for tons of miscellaneous reasons.

ASHEVILLE - Police were called at about 11:07 a.m. today regarding a bank robbery that occurred at 10 Woodfin St.

A white male with short brown hair who was wearing glasses came in and slid a note to a teller.

He did not display a weapon and did not speak. No one was injured.

The man was wearing jeans and a cream colored sweater and appeared to be 25-30 years old. He was described as being about 5'7", 150-170 lbs., and had stubble on his face. He was carrying a bag from Abercrombie & Fitch.

The suspect ran out of the building to the right, toward Woodfin Street.

Anyone with information is asked to contact police at (828) 252-1110 or Crime Stoppers at 255-5050.

Kinda bummed 2 find out that his bag was 'Crombie.'

What do u think he used the money 2 buy?
'PBR'? 'Four Loko'?
'Did he ride off on a fixed gear bike?'
'Was he listening to Vampire Weekens, MANAGMANT, or PASHY PIT as he rode off on his vespa?'
'did he livestream the robbery to his twitter account?'
'do u think he wasted all of the money from his effing trustfund?'
'Did he use the money to start a Brooklyn based buzzband chillwave project?'
'do u think he was robbing from a bank that gave out buzz bucks?'
Have twenty-somethings 'hit rock bottom'?
Is this guy an 'effing hipster' or is this just 'worthless blog fodder'?

Did yall see this guy earlier today working at ur local Panera Bread?
do u h8 it when mainstreamers dress up as alts when they attend concerts/music festivals/the mall/the first day of school?

I sorta want to re-brand myself as a freelance journalist who goes from paper to magazine to zine to local reader, and just writes trend pieces about hipsters. I will locate a community with tons of young ppl who are kinda 'hipster', and try to find a place that they are 'infesting.' It will be an opportunity to educate old people about 'hipsters' and maybe get some young ppl ironic traffic/mad hits.

Anyways, just read an article about HIPSTERS in WILLIAMSBURG BROOKLYN who started GOING TO CHURCH.

Here is the intro that manages to use the buzzwords 'irony', 'tattoos', and 'skinny jeans':

On Sunday evenings, a Hispanic Lutheran church on the gritty south side of Williamsburg transforms into a hipster religious revival with plenty of fashion but no irony.
Worshippers with full-sleeve tattoos, skinny jeans, stocking caps and square glasses pack the pews of Resurrection Presbyterian Church on South Fifth Street.

Sounds so hipster, yall.
Rlly a bzzwrthy trend piece. Young Ppl vibing out at a cultural location/meeting place.

Do any weird ppl go there? Like ppl who don't look like mainstreamers in church?

"The fellowship with everyone here is amazing," said Shaun Lee, 30, a skinny, scruffy East Village bartender who sports a skullcap and cargo jacket to service.

Can 'effing hipsters' be Christian? Do yall know if relevant/buzzworthy humans are Christians? Would I feel comfortable there?

The aisles are full of artists, actors, fashion stylists and musicians.
Even the pastor, the Rev. Vito Aiuto -- trained at the Princeton Seminary -- is in a band, and has recorded music with indie hero Sufjan Stevens, an occasional congregant.

Oh damn. U know Sufjan? Might vibe out at that church if the pastor gives a sermon abt why his new album is 'effing terrible.' Sorta want a pastor who talks to G-d abt buzzbands, and can relay to me what Godbro thinks is relevant.

Live jazz accompanies the collection, and church suppers include plenty of red wine, but the holy hipsters are serious about Christ. During services, parishioners raise their arms in prayer and confess that God saved them from "the power of the devil."

Feeling the power of the devil
inside of me
Need 2 cleanse myself
of 'hipster sins'
PBR
fixed gear bicycles
relevant buzzbands that use curse words
relevant buzzbands that have 'gothic' prnl brands
casual sex on the reg
dank on the reg
cocaine blow on the reg

Do yall believe in hipster christianity?
Can alts believe in God?
Is God real?
Is God 'alt' or the ultimate mainstreamer?
Or is he a chill mainstreamer, but has too many lamestreamer friends?

PREVIOUSLY

Jesus 'dressed as an effing hipster' is on the cover of a Christian magazine

The Kings of Leon are a mainstreamer rock band who may or may not have used 2 be 'indie.' Eventually, they wrote killer arena rock bro anthems, such as "Use Some1 Yall" and "Ur Sexy On Fiya." Now they are basically 'American Rock Gods' and can shit on any band in the world. They basically 'bang models', 'wail on guitar', and do 'whatever the eff they want' on the reg because they are rock stars.

Anyways, one of the bros in the band said that he 'h8s effing hipsters.' He says that it is sweet to be a mainstream rock band and have an actual fan base of ppl who listen to ur music instead of a micro-niche of consumers who are 'way in2 it' but won't remember u in 2 years:

“I hate fucking hipsters,” frontman Caleb Followill told to Eliscu in her profile in Rolling Stone #1116. “Everyone talks about indie this and indie that, but would you really want to be one of those indie bands that makes two albums and disappears? That’s just sad,” he said. “When we signed on with our manager, we all said we wanted to have a box-set career. We’ll gladly be the next generation of bands that aren’t going anywhere.”

Do u agree with him? Does it seem sweeter to have tons of fans and have ur music last forever, instead of chasing an 8.4+ on Pitchfork?
Would u rather sell mad albums and get mainstream pussie, or just get 'critical praise' but not rlly appeal to the common man?
Do all indie bands 'die' within 2 albums?
Do u think he feels threatened by the Arcade Fire / Vampire Weekend / Nickelback?

Here is some intro that really 'glorifies' the Leon Kings, making it seem like they are a rock n roll band brand that true American dads can relate 2.

Rolling Stone’s Jenny Eliscu was there, and the band spoke with her about their new LP, Come Around Sundown (which drops tomorrow): How they’ve settled down now that several of them are married or engaged; and how they managed to become one of the biggest bands in the world the old-fashioned way — by touring and gradually growing their fanbase, rather than being a hipster flavor of the month.

Do real bands grow their fanbase 'gradually' by touring?
Are the Kings of Bro-ons a bunch of spoiler mnstrmrs who don't value the 'alt indie scene'?
Where the Leon Kings ever an 'indie band' or have they always been mnstrm?
Do u h8 'effing hipsters'?
Do u h8 the Kings of Leon?
Will 'hipster bashing' help Rolling Stone 2 sell more magazines, or should they just put the cast of Twilight on their cover?
Would u rather be in the Kings of Leon or Animal Collective?
Who do u think gets better pussie?

Kings of Leon

Buzzband

Lists:

Read more>>>>

Caleb Followill

etc etc etc update

Lists:

Read more>>>>

Just watched this 'preview/teaser' for a documentary about HIPSTERS. It seems like some altbro bought an HD camera, travelled to relevant cities across the United States, and interviewed people who 'looked alt', then went home, got on his iMac, edited this movie together, and said 'Hey yall made a documentary', uploaded it to vimeo, then no1 is gonna see it.

Not sure if I would 'watch' this documentary, unless maybe I was between 12-19 years old and I wanted to know more about my alternative social identity. Really tired of ppl trying to ask 'WTF is an effing hipster? H8 them so much' and trying to sell it as some sort of original cultural insight.

(Note: when Spider Man says "I don't fucking know!" did yall notice the documentary bro mouthing the words at the exact same time [via paying him 2 say that]?)

DOCUMENTARIE INFO

In 2009, lithe, lanky, mustachioed, pony-tailed filmmaker Luke Peterson began work on “Hipsters,” a full-length documentary that explores hipster culture and attempts to nail down an answer to that elusive question: “What is a hipster?” (readjack.com)

A traveling documentary that visits Chicago, New York, Maryland, Los Angeles & a few locations we'll surprise you with.

Songs: Neon Bible by Arcade Fire
Genesis by Justice

Really h8 this modern era of self-important documentaries [via the post-Michael Moore / Morgan Spurlock era]. Just like 'gonna make a movie where I turn myself into a character that proves a point and call it a 'documentary' even though I just look like a bro with a stick up my butt the whole movie. Do u think some people should just 'strip naked' and look at themselves in the mirror forever instead of using a video camera to capture 'the essence of their lives'?

Just watched some other 'teaser' / 'trailer' that used Animal Collective.

Is this going to win Sundance?
Does this film seem 'brilliant'?
Does this bro seem chill, or like an entry level bro?
Do u think he 'gets' buzzbands, or just listens to them and says "Gonna use this in my movie yall"?
What the eff is an effing hipster yall?
Am I a hipstar?

I just received my monthly copy of Christianity Today magazine and my #1 bro Jesus is chilling on it. Mad props to him. I know him 'behind the scenes' [via prayer] and he has been working out a lot, giving up carbs + sodas to trim some weight before his magazine cover shoot. He didn't tell me what He would be doing on the cover, but promised me it "would go viral." Little did I know that He would go so viral on the hipster bashing circuit.

Really gotta give it up to my bro JC. Dude 'killed it' in his wayfarers + skinny jeans. He said he wanted to be holding a can of PBR, riding a fixed gear bike, listening to his iPhone, but they were like 'no, let's keep it simple.' U gotta give him props for thinking outside the box.

Not sure why Christian mags keep doing these 'pieces' on 'Hipster Christianity.' Seems like they are just trying to let their followers know that 'u can be KEWL and be an authentic hipster' or something. Seems like a solid message in suburbia.

Did Christianity today 'exploit' Jesus by dressing him up like some sort of 'effing hipster'?
Does JC look good on the cover?
Will this magazine sell tons of copies because a famous teen global icon is on the cover?
Did u read Christianity today in ur dentist's office?
Do u hope the Christian magazine industry goes under?
Should Christianity 'leave alternative culture alone'?
Do u think Jesus <3s buzzbands?
Which buzzbands would he enjoy?
Is Jesus 'the biggest mainstreamer of all time'?
Do u think JoJo and Mary are 'ashamed' of their 20something son who thinks he is 'God's gift 2 mankind'?

Got super excited when I saw this video, thinking that Girls Gone Wild had decided to launch a new 'content vertical', looking to inspire alternative bros to get 'mad erect.' I have always dreamed of a centralized location to watch hipster porn that featured some of my favourite elements of alternative skanks.

I took out a bottle of lubricant, worked my penis into a 'mild erection', but then it was just another effing hipster bashing video.

Got kinda bummed, because me and my bro were gonna 'jerk it' together. Sometimes we'll stay up late at night, sit in the glow of the television, buzzed off PBR, and 'get ourselves off' while we watch the GGW informercial.

Should they have named this video 'HIPSTER GIRLS GONE WILD' to get 200% more hits, or does 'Indie Rock Girls' resonate with ppl/inspire clicks?
Is this video 'effing hilarious'?
Is web video humor 'hilarious'/'inspiring' or has it resulted in tons of unfunny content for blog publishers to 'coast' on?

R u gonna 'order this on vinyl' and 'ride away on ur fixed gear bike' wearing 'American Apparel' while 'drinking a PBR'?

Are hipster bashing videos 'funnie' or sooo 2k1?
Do u wish this video
When u want to get off to 'hipster porn' do u just find some sort of 'barely legal' tumblr that features alt skanks getting nude for 'the sake of art'?
Was this video 'funny' or 'entry level'?
Do u h8 duos of bros who make 'web shorts'?
Should Girls Gone Wild 'actually launch' an indie / hipster porn site?
Do u want to see a wet t-shirt contest that searches 4 the perfect alternative breasts?

Is Joe Francis 'a more authentic' Dov Charney?

Apparently a tornado 'ripped thru Brooklyn', trying to transcend 'hipster bashing', and instead do some 'hipster twisting'/'hipster natural disastering'/'hipster rapturing.' Never thought a tornado could go down in Brooklyn, always thought those only happened in Kansas [via The Wizards of Ozzerly Place]. Maybe Oklahoma, too.

Anyways, utilzing iReporting/vlogging technology, two bros in a sweet ass loft 'flipped a shit' as the tornado ripped thru Brooklyn. It seems like they lived in a chill pad, a spacious loft with tons of sweet HD technology, long boards on the wall, IKEA wave furniture, and other premium home furnishings. U can really see how they are 'stressed' that they might lose everything, including their lives'.

Not really sure if they followed standard tornado protocol. I think ur apparently supposed 'duck and cover.' Or maybe go into a room without many windows, like a basement or a cellar. Maybe I should move to Brooklyn and build a 'sweet underground loft/mixed use art space/organic food dumpster diving co-op'/d.i.y. venue.' During most days it would operate as a business/art space, but in the event of a natural disaster, I would be totally safe from death.

Have u ever been in a tornado?
Did ur house get 'tore up'?
Did u hide in the bath tub with ur mattress over u?

Have yall seen the movie 'Twister'?
Should they make Twister Part 2 about a Twister that 'tears thru NYC'/Brooklyn?

Is it 'alt' 2 blog about Brooklyn?
Do u know if any sweet concerts or outdoor events were cancelled?
Was this a 'pussy tornado'?
Should I do a 'performance art piece' about ducking and covering?

Do yall appreciate this new wave of indie journalism where real people tell real stories abt real events?
Do u wish u could chill with those bros, maybe have a brewski, vibe out [via rooftop access], and just get ur chill on?

Link: http://gothamist.com/2010/09/15/woman_struck_by_school_bus_in_brook.php

Just read a headline about some woman being hit by a bus in Brooklyn. Not sure what the scenario is, but assume that she was a 'hipster' and I will use this post as an opportunity to 'bash hipsters' for being consumer ass holes who are just slaves 2 trends. Might feel kinda bad if it wasn't actually a 'hipster', and just a 'regular human' who is trying to stay alive + provide for her family.

Seems kinda like some bummer news. Soo weird that a car accident happened in Brookslyn when I thought every1 there rode fixed gear bikes.

A woman is in critical condition after being hit by an empty school bus in Gravesend yesterday afternoon. The woman was carrying groceries while crossing Ocean Parkway near Avenue X. She had the light, but it changed when she was halfway across the street, and the Grandpa's Bus Co. Inc. bus crashed into her.

Wonder if she was on her way home from an organic vegan popup shop. Probably had her iPhone on too loud [via technology]. Probs listening to Vampire Weekend, MGMT, or another maltstream band.

Those hipsters... when will they ever learn....

One witness told the Daily News, "I heard the noise and went to help her. She was already bleeding from [her] head and mouth."

Probably was fake blood that she was using just to 'be unique.' Wish they'd realize that people bleed every day, and u can't be an individual and that trends are just recycled. They are all trying to be unique artists that they don't even follow street crossing rules.

Do u think this story was about a 'hipster' or just about a 'regular human'?
Should more articles 'bash' hipsters who 'live in Brooklyn'?
Do 'regular ppl' live in Brooklyn? Read a lot abt it on the internet as a 'hipster mecca.'
Did yall ride the bus to school in suburbia?
Are bus drivers careless + irresponsible?
Should Grandpa's Bus Co be 'put out of business' 4 hitting people?
Is it unchill 2 run over humans with school buses?

Not sure what the UK alt hipster bashing scene is all about, but I think this viral video is 'brand spanking new.' I think maybe they are 2-10 years behind America, just learning about how 'effing hipsters' are 'full of shit', 'only care about image/consumerism', and are 'fucking ass hole dickhead slaves.' I guess 'hipster bashing' is moving into tween youtube markets or something. People from the UK are generally 'slow' to adopt American trends/aesthetics, so I guess it makes sense. They are still a few years ahead of Mexico/South America in terms of trend adoption/aesthetic replication.

Are hipsters 'dick heads'? Did u 'LOL' @this_video cuz it was toootes true?

Do u find 'hipster bashing' videos to be 'funny', or do u feel sad abt the people who made them and thought they were being creative/original/funnie?
Did this video 'make u laugh'?

What are UK alts like?
Is the American alt more authentic than the UK alt?
R u from London? Is it 'more alt' than Brooklyn?
Is England sooo behind on trends/exploring obvious ideas?
Is 'hipster bashing' still 'cutting edge comedy'?
Do u think the Lonely Island bros are 'pissed' that they didn't write this song?
What does the head of ur penis look like [via dickheads]?

From what I have heard, 'backwards conservatives who hate brown ppl' watch Fox News and 'effing liberals who have white guilt' watch CNN. Then there is some weirdo segment of people who watch 'The Daily Show'/'The Colbert Report' and think they are 'smarter + more globablly aware' than any1 else cuz they are able 2 'LOL @the_news'.

Anyways, I'm not sure what the deal with the Fox News website is. Maybe it is a blog, maybe it is a 'news service.' Probs just one of those things where they throw up stuff for SEO. It seems like some Fox News Bro wrote a 'hipster bashing' 'article.' Honestly not sure what it says/if it 'says anything new.' Might have been relevant in 2k1 or something:

Hipsters. We all know one. They’re those fun, little, arrogant people who let the ideal of “anti-consumerism,” combined with a hatred for all things normal, dictate their every action. Whether it’s spending more time and money at thrift shops for threads (anti-consumerist threads, mind you), or combing the record store for the most unknown/least coherent band they can find, there’s one thing that hipsters constantly want you to know: that they are better than you. That, and also, those frames that you’re wearing are so mainstream.

Of course, it goes without saying that a leftist world view is a staple in the hipster’s theological wardrobe. For years, young adults have adopted extremely liberal world views in their attempts to be different, ultimately failing to see the irony that they’ve all become the same.

Sigh... when will those effing hipsters ever learn that they are just 'bullshit humans.' Yall are all the same.

The Article is titled "The Trouble With Hipsters." Might start headlining every blog post 'The Trouble With _____' 2 let every1 know that I am about to 'drop some mutha fuckin truth bombs' [via opinion puff pieces].

Might take a Sunday stroll thru 'NYC's East Village' sometime soon:

“I’ll never be a corporate suit or sell-out!”...“America is an Evil Empire that rapes the earth of its resources, and robs from impoverished countries!”...“Islamic terrorists wouldn’t want to kill us if we just left them alone and stopped being so arrogant....We don’t own the world!”

These are all common beliefs of hipsters that can be overheard on a Sunday stroll through NYC’s East Village. -- Just be sure to avoid the tainted syringes. -- If you were to ask the modern hipster, he… I mean she… Sorry, IT is likely under the impression that Usama Bin Laden is wearing skinny jeans in his cave, currently listening to Animal Collective as he throws back cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Certainly Al Qaeda shares a common bond with the trust-fund jackass, bobbing his head at the Vampire Weekend concert.

Vampire Weekend. PBR. 'trust fund jackass' Animal Collective. Is 'Al Qaeda' a buzzband?

Feel like the author of this article really 'let down his readership' by not including other buzz terms such as 'Williamsburg', 'Brooklyn' and 'fixed gear bicycle.'

Not sure if he 'nails' the ending or not. Seems like he coulda been more apocalyptic in his tone, like maybe saying that Barrack Obama is a blipster who is going to end the world.

It seems to me that at one point in our country’s history, young people adopted fashion styles that would come back to haunt them decades later.

Today, young people are increasingly adopting fashionable philosophies that could hurt the world for decades to come.

Also, they should shower more.

Steven Crowder is a 23-year-old comedian, writer and Fox News contributor.

Thnx Steve Bro. U 'nailed it' [via might get a Pullitzer or a Nick Jr. Kids Choice Awards]
If he's a comedian on Fox, does that make him a MAD TV cast member?

Did u vibe out to 'The Trouble With Hipsters'?
Is this 'the greatest Hipster Bashing piece of all time'?
Do u watch Fox News, CNN, or just ur local news?
Is Steven 'harshing the vibes' for Middle Americans who don't know 'what a hipster is'?
Does 'hipster bashing' appeal to only liberals on the internet, or will it 'crossover' in2 middle America?
Does n e 1 know when Fox became a 'news channel'? Thought it was just a station that syndicated episodes of the Simpsons, the Fresh Prince, and Home Improvement. Kinda confused.

XX BONUS STEVEN CROWDER ANTI-OBAMA RANT XX

XX BONUS STEVEN CROWDER YOUTUBE ZANY SONG PRESENCE XX

Who do yall h8 more--leberils or consorvetives?

It seems like the New York Times are trying to 'rebrand' and be 'more than a crappy blog' that turns every article about young ppl/culture/technology into some sort of 'hipster expose' / 'hipster bashing' piece. Feel like 'hipster' headlines get 'mad hits', since so many ppl want to find out 'what makes a hipster tick' and/or 'wtf is a hipster?'

Do u think blogs 'force' hipster memes to get pageviews from mainstreamers who want to figure out how to be more alt by learning abt hipster/alt trends?
Do u think the modern media has crafted the image of Williamsburg being 'alt heaven'?

According to the NY Times robot statistician, they used the word 250 times in the past year, up from 19 times in 1990. Seems like maybe the word just 'means more' in 2k10.

We try hard to shed our old image as stodgy and out of it. Perhaps too hard, sometimes.

How else to explain our constant invocation of the old/new slang “hipster”? As a colleague pointed out, we’ve used it more than 250 times in the past year.

Can't believe they've used the word 'hipster' so much. Seems like 'cheap journalism.' Sorta wish there was a new blog/magazine/newspaper that wasn't in it for money/pageviews, and only care about the purity of reporting 'exclusive scoops':

Our latest infatuation with “hipster” seems to go back several years, perhaps coinciding in part with the flourishing of more colloquial (and hipper) blogs on our Web site. In 1990 we used the word just 19 times. That number rose gradually to about 100 by 2000, then exploded to 250 or so uses a year from 2005 on.

In addition, every time an article is written about Brooklyn, writers must feel pressure to use the word 'hipster' in it, because that is where tons of 'effing hipsters' live.

Then there’s the Brooklyn connection: our archive confirms that Kings County is the very center of hipsterdom. Ninety-six Times pieces in the past year that included the word “hipster” also mentioned Brooklyn, edging out even once-hip Manhattan, which had 87 overlapping mentions. Queens trailed badly with 33, while the Bronx merited only a handful and Staten Island just two.

In any case, hipster’s second life as hip slang seems to have lost its freshness. And with so many appearances, I’m not sure how precise a meaning it conveys. It may still be useful occasionally, but let’s look for alternatives and try to give it some rest.

Can u replace the word 'hipster'?
Is it 'cheap journalism'/'crappy writing' when
What does 'hipster' even mean, yall?

Is 'hipster culture' dying or evolving?
Is the 'hipster' culture fighting to live on forever, avoiding cultural natural selection?
Did 'hipsters' die in 2k_?
Do yall know any1 who calls themselves a 'hipster'?
Are newspapers 'the original blogs'?
Is the NY Times the biggest 'hipster basher' in the world?
Should newspapers get more bloggy, or deactivate their blog websites and exist only in paper format?
Will blogs ever be 'as relevant' as newspapers?
Will blogs ever go to 'print format', or is that part of the business just a 'huge financial burden'?

Not sure if it is 'still cool' and 'bloggable' to make fun of hipsters. This HONDA commercial for their new car called the HONDA JAZZ was apparently made for the continent of Australia. Think every1 there is kinda alt or something. N e ways, this commercial just 'makes fun of' how 'hipsters' think that they are individuals, and they collect vinyl, use polaroid pix, ride fixed gear bicycles, read 'deep' authors/philosophers, and drive cute lil modern hatchback station wagon sporty cars. Tries to 'take on' concepts like 'consumer identity' while providing relevant commentary on modern subcultures.

Do u want to buy one of these cars because u 'are a hipster' or because 'u want to make fun of hipsters' while driving around in the lil car?

Do u think this commercial is 'spot on' and 'friggin hilarious'?

N e ways, here is another commercial for their lil car that makes fun of black people / hip hop culture / the rap community. Seems potentially racist, but I am not sure if there are black people in Australia to get pissed at HONDA.

Do yall like hipster bashing?
Do yall like 'black ppl' bashing?
Are these commercials 'funny' or 'lame'?
Were these commercials just designed to 'get viral blog coverage' but not really inform people about the product?
Do u want to buy a fuel efficient, sporty, multifunctional modern station wagon?
Are yall bros with HONDA or do u prefer Mazda / Nissan / Volkswagen / Prius / Lexus / Ford / Chevrolet?
Should I buy a 'jazz'?
Should they rename their car the Honda Indie?
Who 'invented' hipster bashing, and should they 'sue' Honda for stealing their memes [via Vampire Weekend cover art]?

Volkswagen made some new tiny lil car called the Polo, and this commercial from Australia makes it seem like they are 'making fun of trendy ass holes' in order to segment a target market. They are mainly making fun of the groups of lonely bros who all end up looking like one another because they are all too insecure to make personal branding decisions on their own. They 'find comfort' in looking the same / having the same interests / buying the same clothes / eating the same food / moving into a 3-5 bedroom apartment together / other acts of bro-ishness.

Feel like maybe this commercial sorta represents when alternative bros grow up, and don't find a life partner by age 26-27, and end up 'being way too bro' for their age. Will mainstreamers see this and laugh at 'those mother effing hipsters' or is hipster bashing sorta a niche kind of humor?

I think that it is a 'slam dunk' for ad firms to talk about crafting a unique identity for people who buy their product. Like 'individuality' is a new concept that has never really been explored by commercials/miscellaneous advertisements. Do u think if u bought this car, u would be a unique individual? [via Fight Club themes for high schoolers]

Did this commercial make u 'feel free' from ur group of friends? Do ur group of friends hold u back because they jock ur style? Are groups of bros always hilarious when they 'all look the same', all 'chase the same pussy', and 'get all bitchy with one another like a group of girls'? R u a trend follower or a trend leader? R u a 'lemming' or a 'sheep'?

Should I buy a Volkswagen?
Have yall heard of POLOs, or is that some sort of Euro / Aussie thing made for small roads and non-fat people?
Is this campaign 'funny and quirky' or is it too niche to be played during a Super Bowl?
Are u let down every time a Volkswagen commercial doesn't feature a highly bloggable Grizzly Bear song [link]?
Do u get along with ur bros?
Should I grow a beard / moustache because my bros did?
Are alternative bros more/less insecure than mainstream bros?

If ur bro jumped off a cliff, would u do it, or are u a post-individual?

From what I understand, tons of artists are 'trying to go viral' after Banksy/Shepard Fairey got famous for being vandals with a progressive message about society, content sharing, intellectual property, Obama, consumerism, global issues, art, privacy, Big Brother, public safety, and just about any other relevant buzz topic. Tons of artists are trying to 'get their guerrilla on' to garner fame + credibility. Some 'art collective' called Trustocorp made an easily memeable sign about not feeding hipsters and put it at McCarren Park in Williamsburg, the home of the Hipster Olympics.

Does n e 1 know if 'hipsters' really live in Williamsburg/Brooklyn, or is that an outdated stereotype?
Do u think more people saw this sign in person, or on the internet?
Is it an artist's job to impact a space, or to create an easy-to-capture photo/video meme of their art in order to reach a larger audience?

Wonder if Trustocorp is going to be able to garner authentic respect in the art world if the best meme they can come up with is 'Do Not feed The Hipsters.' Seems like it might have staying power, like the type of thing a mainstreamer will put in her facebook feed in 2 years, but maybe not enough 'meme pizazz' to be considered 'art' instead of 'a meme.' Worried that the sign wasn't visually captivating enough, like the symbol of 'hipster' didn't make much sense.

What would u have done to make this sign more worthy of 'being a sharable meme'?

Is this sign 'snarky'?
Are you still into 'hipster bashing'?
Do u know what 'hipsters' are fed? Nuggets of culture? Buzz mp3s? vegan baked goods? Chili's?
R u gonna move to Brooklyn one day to launch your art project / chillwave sound project?
Is Williamsburg in New York or Virginia?
Will u make money from ur studio art degree if all u can do is make memes?
Are Brooklyn based memes more successful than other memes because you can include the word 'hipster' in the headline?

From what I understand, tons of youtube tweens enjoy making vlogs where they provide relevant commentary on stuff like Twilight, Justin Bieber, mainstream buzzbands, and whatever is on TV on MTV/the Disney channel. It seems like the community of youtube tweens have discovered 'the art of hipster bashing'--the practice of pointing out the hypocrisies in the modern young, trendy, technological adult lifestyle. Not sure if her video is 'revolutionary', or if it is just like a new, tweenage voice spitting out the same ideas that 'every1 already realized 500 blog years ago.'

Are yall 'sooo over' hipster bashing?
Should I start a blog that tracks tween hipster bashing?

Seems like this tween has 'knowledge beyond her years', like she has been reading snark blogs since 'the beginning of the internet.' Feel like she has tons of messages that can teach us not to 'be so consumerist', not to be a slave to trends, and why we shouldn't give up on bands. Do u think that even though she is younger than u, u can still learn a lot from her?

Do u think she is 'hot'? Do u think she should 'shut her mouth' and just keep being a slave 2 technology & trends?
wtf is a 'hipster'?
Do u appreciate her tone, or does she need a solid set of parents/alt role models to 'put her in her place'?
Was 'hipster bashing' only a solid meme in 2k6?
Are tweens taking over the internet/ hipster culture?
Do u wish u knew how to vlog / had a macbook / knew how to 'make fun of subcultures' when u were 11 years old?
Are hipsters 'effing hypocrites'?
Is this tween a 'wanna be hipster'?
Do u think she 'gets' AnCo, or does she just listen to Justin Bieber and not have the 'balls' to go into an Am Appy?

Some blogger in San Fransisco made a 'visually delightful' image / meme about how certain bros evolve from hipster to hippie. I am not sure if I really 'endorse' this meme, since it seems pretty simple, but I figured I should 'get in on the traffic' it is probably going to generate some 'hipster bashing' hits as mainstreamers 'share' this image, and 'lol' about bros who they know who grew scruffy beards to try to be post-hipster personal brands.

I went to the website that was linked, and it seemed like some person who was trying to 'find social meaning' but it was difficult cuz 'so many ppl were so hollow' or something.

R u a 'hipster' or a 'hippie'?
Do u like people who 'share hipster links'?
Do u like to 'laugh at effing hipsters'?
Is there anything to laugh at in this meme, like some sort of whimsical truth that we can acknowledge and laugh about?
Is this a high level design meme, or some low level Adobe Illustrator vector graphics?
Could there have been more numbers / statistics involved to make this an official infographic?
Do bros in San Francisco 'get all confused' about what their brand is about?
Do all 'hipsters' devolve to 'hippies' or are they just 'the rich kids who don't have to get real jobs'?
Does n e 1 who generates 'hipster commentary' memes deserve an automatic book deal?

Chillwave has evolved into a controversial genre, and internet music critics are taking sides in a war--either u can validate the genre, or fight to discredit it. Being 'down' with chillwave means that you are 'young' and 'down with the fun, modern scene.' H8ing chillwave means that you are older, and more about 'rock n roll' and h8 what 'indie internet music has evolved in2.' Many older music critics are using anti-chillwave pieces to subconsciously voice their frustration with the death of the music critic / paying music journalism positions.

After the New York Times wrote a 'scathing' blog post about chillwave, some Village Voice blog writer wrote a piece 'in defense' of chillwave.

He 'asserts' that old people h8 every new trend:

In short, chillwave sucks because it retrofits older, better music for younger, more ignorant, stuck-up weirdos and nerds. Sounds like the critique lobbed at every indie trend of the past decade.

Wonder if critics even care about 'the scene' / 'art', or if they are just trying to get blog hits with the google search term 'chillwave.'

It seems like most anti chillwave pieces are just trying to 'hate on hipsters' where hipster is defined as 'modern internet consumer of indie music':

Chillwave contrives a revaluation of the past and present. It gathers the still too-loaded sounds and emotions of the '80s and confronts a contemporary audience (generation, maybe?) with them, raw and uncooked. The slivers of beachy ambience in, say, Animal Collective or MGMT actually sound like a "hedged hipster imitation" of the go-for-broke cheez chillwave's fully embraced. This is why Pareles' comment that the music is "non-commital" is so baffling. Chillwave really goes there.

Is chillwave going 2 be around 4evr?

That chillwave is now a bonafide scene, including not just a few stragglers here and there, but small labels full of them, suggests a tiny but significant shift in sensibility. As in: 'Hey, let's cut the bullshit. New age, on its own terms even, can be pretty good.' And though chillwave's nostalgic for new age and other unthinkably "bad" aspects of the '80s, it doesn't necessarily revere them

Is chillwave here 2 stay, whether we like it or not?

What side r u on in the chillwave war?
Are anti-chillwavers sort of like people who 'didn't like rock n roll'?
Does chillwave represent everything that is wrong with music?
Will chillwave become the new 'indie' in 2k15?
Is chillwave bashing the new 'hipster bashing'?
Will 'old people' and 'traditional music journalists' h8 everything that the internet breeds?