HIPSTER RUNOFF is not a part of the Corrupt Indie Machine, and does not have the resources to handle a full time tech dept, CTO, helpdesk, or web guru. This means that HIPSTERRUNOFF.com can sometimes be 'hella slow', but it doesn't rlly matter because we do it for the Passion of the Buzz.
'The server' has been 'effing bombarded' with SPAM bots, drastically reducing overall performance and page load time. Due to a series of faulty, inefficient SPAM filters, the commenting experience on HIPSTER RUNOFF has suffered. It seemed as though for a time, HIPSTER RUNOFF became a place 4 ppl who wanted 2 buy UGG boots or something. There are still more things we r trying 2 do 2 'fix'/improve 'the server,' but we were unprepared for the MASSIVE BUZZ that HIPSTER RUNOFF would receive during the #Lana_Del_rey_Buzz_Monsoon.
HIPSTER RUNOFF has introduced a new CUSTOM #state_of_the_art commenting system. I'm not sure how it works, but apparently u can 'login' with FB/twitter/google/openID, but more importantly, every1 can still leave anonymous, trolling comments. We believe that the Brononymous commenters are some of the most valuable community members.
Hopefully this can also lead to an 80% increase in random ppl who are leave a cmmnt that says, 'This site is terrible. I hope the writer of this blog post is not serious. This is the most hateful piece of garbage that I have evr read in my entire life.
Thank you to HIPSTER RUNOFF premium users like Ryan Schreibro, Altyosha Karamazzie, Broganic Chemist, Brosuf Gordon Levitt, Brobraham Lincoln, Ayn Brand, Derrick Brose, and JakeFogelnest for keeping HRO premium comment buzz alive during the Commenting Dark Ages. Sorry 2 those fallen commenting bros who I have forgotten.
Who are yalls fave commenters on HIPSTER RUNOFF of all time?
Can HIPSTER RUNOFF #revive its authentic commenting community?
Do there need 2 be 'more changes' 2 HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF The worst designed, worst functioning site on the internet?
Does n e 1 know if Carles even still writes HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Plz leave a comment 2 begin this new, authentic era!
Congrats 2 every1 who entered the Vallytine's Day Contest [link]! We r all winners!
WHO DO U THINK IS THE KEUTEST?
Who really 'brought it' and took the game 2 such great heights?
Chillest Alt Cat Viber
Fan's Choice QT: #Born2Luv [determined by FB votes]
I would make it OFFISH with u N E DAY, bb!
I feel so alone on Vallytine's Day Nite...
Can u make it feel like home, if I tell u ur mine
Best New Russell Stover choco bro
Snacks who? #teamCatBro
Bro of the Competition
Authentically Chillest Lil Bro
Most Conceptual BB + Best New ▲
Cat who likes 2 vibe
Editor's Note: This Bro 'offed himself'. RIP, dark bro. We hardly even know who LDR even is any more...
We <3 u! Meet us at Olive Garden, bb!
Loneliest Olive Garden-wave bro
Email me pix of U in ur shirt! carleser [at] gmail.com <3 <3
Will u b my #Vallytine?
Where should we go on our Valentine's Nite Date?
Olive Garden, Chili's, Outback, Red Lobster, or ___________?
Congrats 2 #JimmyJangler! U jimmy jangled ur way straight into the hearts of HIPSTER RUNOFF readers in the Vally's Day Contest! More winners coming soon maybe! Yay! #Evry1isAWinner, if u rlly think abt it.
Order before Saturday Feb 11 at 1 PM EST, and u will get GUARANTEED Feb 14 delivery for USA orders.
LIMITED EDISH Red Vallytine's Day Shirt!
U look good, bb! Do u wanna go on a romantic date to Olive Garden with me? Maybe we can start a relevant buzzband and travel around the world 2gether.
Hey! Is that the winner of the Halloween Contest, Vampire Weekend At Bernie's Bro?
Do u want to go to Olive Garden on Valentine's Day?
We can share some salad and breadsticks.
I won't judge u if u 'pig out'
Because I truly <3 u
I waited, and waited.
Why didn't u meet me there?
In that moment, I was more alone than evr on #VallysDay
I regretted eating that creamy alfredo sauce chicken parm lasagna calzone create-ur-own pasta
I paid 4 it all night [via the bathroom]
Where were u?
Did u go to Red Lobster instead?
Maybe we should have gone to a combination Red Lobster/Olive Garden
Love is about compromise.
I had even stopped at WalMart to buy you a Russell Stover's box of Chocolates
Forrest Gump once said that Life is Like a Box Of Chocolates
Because u never know when ur d8 is going to #CyberBully and #SlutShame U
Are we 'Just Friends'?
Tonight, all I have is my own dark horniness and a box of Russell Stover's Chocolates
I have never felt more alone on Valentine's Day.
Bless U, #jimmyjangler
Who do u want 2 be ur Vallytine?
The Classic Blue shirt is 'also available'
Run, Carles, Run.
Miss u BB... Where did u go?!?!
'Give the Gift of Carles' to the person who u authentically <3.
Order by Saturday 1 PM EST for GUARANTEED VALLYS DAY DELIVERY IN THE USA.
Plz send me a pic of ur shirt if u go on a romantic d8 on Valentine's Day.
Who else won ur <3 in the contest?
It is hard 2 go thru a tough time
Sometimes u need the support of #hashtags
so that u don't feel alone on the internet
When every1 is #cyberbullying and #slutshaming u
U truly feel alone
Introducing the #PrayerWatch2k12: A Candlelight Vigil 4 Carles
Plz #pray4carles and ur message of <3 and support will be SHOWCASED at the top of HIPSTERRUNOFF dot com.
This is a dark time, and we need all we can help against the Corrupt Indie Machine. Thank u for ur #pray4carles prayers and vibes. Without u, we r nothing. Thank u 4 ur #Tweets and #Hashtags.
#pray4carles means that you stand against the Corrupt Indie Machine and the LIES and CORRUPT BUZZ that they FORCE DOWN the throats of the BLIND INDIE MASSES every day.
#pray4carles means that u r not alone
May the buzz gods bless all of u with eternal buzz and transcendent, timeless authenticity. Amen.
WHO WILL WIN THE <3 OF CARLES?
PLEASE VOTE HERE, OR BY LIKING EACH PIC ON FACEBOOK?
#▲ (Also known as #TriangleBB)
Who will end up being Carles's Valentine?
There will be 2 categories, both 'winners' will receive miscellaneous prizes.
Please vote by 'commenting' on this post with the appropriate hashtag. Carles will determine the level of authentic buzz, and choose a winner based on votes, keutness, and embodying the spirit of the HRO zeitgeist.
Win Fan's Choice by acquiring 'the most likes' in this FB photo album. http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.378221432193196.108197.194694380545903&type=1
WHO IS THE KEUTEST?
WHO DO U WANT 2 BE UR VALLYTINE?
"I feel so alone on a Friday Nite..."
Will u be my Valentine.
HIPSTER RUNOFF VALENTINE'S DAY QT CONTEST.
MAJOR Prize Packs include:
OPPORTUNITIES for ALT FAME & NEVERENDING BUZZ
- Chili's and/or Olive Garden Gift Cards
- Lifetime passes to #HROfest music festival (does not yet exist)
- Weekly Column on HIPSTER RUNOFF
- a weekend getaway to a hotel right next to an airport in an irrelevant city
- A Valentine's Nite d8 with Carles, potentially to Outback Steakhouse
I rlly need a Valentine...
How to enter: Email ur picture to carleser [at] gmail.com . Hold a picture of urself holding a sign that shows ur dedication 2 Carles, HIPSTER RUNOFF, memes, buzzbands, or anything relevant. U must win over the <3s of Carles + HRO readers with ur keutness. You will be posted on this website, and ppl will vote 2 determine
ONLY Rule: U MUST BE KEUT. Boyz or Girlz allowed...
ENTER BY THE END OF SUNDAY, JANUARY 29.
I have a blog called HIPSTER RUNOFF. Every day, I wake up, open my laptop, and type words that are stored in the internet as ‘content.’ My goal is to ‘get as many hits’ as possible because I metaphorically ‘have mouths to feed.’ I realize that at this point, it doesn’t matter if my content is ‘premium’, pseudo-brilliantly written web_prose or just ‘link-bait-wave,’ I was fortunate enough to not have gotten lost in the ‘long tail’ of indie music + Gen-Y-opinion-driven coverage blogs. Every day, I prey upon different buzz topics, exploiting my voice, but more importantly, my position as a ‘recognized outlet 4 buzz’ to try to trick people into thinking I am ‘relevant’, which basically just means that I am trying to make ppl talk abt my blog and get them addicted to my web brand even if they hate it because even when they are like ‘OMG THAT’S TOTAL BULLSHIT’ it is just some sort of post-grassroots-h8-wave-warketing.
My goal as a website is to ‘be the ass hole who pointlessly interjects himself into the conversation’ without being as overtly annoying as ‘the ass hole who always pointless interjects himself into the conversation.’
Lana Del Rey is the perfect buzz topic, and I’ll never forget the times we shared in late 2k11 and early 2k12. I honestly do wish the best for her career, not because I have a rooting interest in her/care about her as a person, but because Lana Del Rey is an important search term to refer viewers to my website.
Sometimes I wonder, when it’s all said and done, and the internet is deleted, will I only be remembered as “The Guy Who Invented Chillwave?”
It feels like Lana Del Rey was sent down from the buzz heavens, God’s way to save us from the well-documented buzz drought that has plagued us since early 2k10. Some blamed the buzzbands for not putting out solid mp3s. They said that there were not enough buzzworthy bands 2 authentically buzz and that buzz was being misappropriated unfairly due to blogosphere favors and the fear of hurting the feelings of legacy, past-their-prime buzzbands. In the post-LDR bubble burst world, we are finally able to see what caused the buzz drought: it was the bloggers, the writers, the content farmers, and the implosion of the sub-prime buzzing crisis that has been the expanding crack in the foundation the indie blogging and content farming infrastructure since as far back as 2k8.5.
LanaBB officially redefined the core competencies of the ‘indie blogosphere.’
We used to be tastemakers. We used to be regulators. We used to be trustworthy. We used to be a valuable resource. Lana made it okay for us to post magazine covers. Lana Del Rey was pretty enough to post even the most irrelevant performance video. For the first time, Lana Del Rey took indie blogs over ‘the edge’, and made it okay for us to speculate about her physical appearance, which is way more interesting than trying to figure out if her artistic ambitions are ‘relevant’/pure. Basically, Lana Del Rey finally marginalized ‘the decently-enough-thought-out opinion piece’ into a worthless meme that any one could poop out.
#LDRSNL marked another maturation/retardation milestone for ‘online indie journalism’, bringing the indie blogosphere from a humble place that posted MP3s with generally positive/neutral commentary, and flung us right into the generalist meme-blurb content farm spotlight. We scrambled like enslaved content farmers, minutes after the performance to preserve our Google rank with a perfectly placed headline. We were ready to chew up and spit out memes, finally ‘graduating to the big leagues’ with a ‘big boy meme’, not just some other over-written ‘spotlight’ on a group of poor dudes from Brooklyn who were ToTtaLLY wErTh ChEcKiNg OuT and/or the typical ‘no one cares--what happened to REAL music?’ reaction pieces to said buzzband.
Buzz experts truly believe that Lana Del Rey is the last artist/band that the network of indie blog buzz will have a role in ‘hyping.’ The happy days of the AnCo 2k9 buzzosphere are long gone, and we all cannot just get along. After Lana Del Rey, we live in a hypeless world where we trust no outlet, now that we have finally seen the hype apocalypse because the LDR snake-eating-its-own-tail cycle has finally ended, and the sum is “-0” [via undefined]. Readers who once thought that they were reading organic, farm-grown content will feel misled, angry, and betrayed by the warped context of blogs.
I’ll admit that as a blog, I am obsessed, and probably over-estimate the impact of ‘modern web media’ on ‘reality.’ But it seems like LDR was a blogosphere ‘passion project’ that we incubated, and got to ‘tear down’ for the sake of generating, controlling, and commenting our own content. We enjoyed it, sorta like while u r stroking ur peen, but then u finally ‘effing blow’, and you are not sure whether you should admit ‘how good’ it felt. After #LDRSNL, no one is sure who has control of the #LDR meme any more. It was her viking meme funeral, even if she goes on to achieve mad sales in Europe/decent sales in America.
“Where r u Lizzy Grant? R u okay? I swear, I care about you. Blogs r mean. :-(”
-some blog with female readers
LDR should probably make other alt famous humans and upcoming buzz humans incredibly nervous, because the silent agreement of ‘pandering’ to indie celebs is over. The concept Indie celebrity may or may not exist, but a successful blog now must realize that the way indie blogs ‘baby’ the ‘alt famous’ in order to preserve relationships can no longer exist. Mudslinging will be beneficial to both parties. Maybe after LDR, it will no longer be a good idea to be ‘an anonymous’ project because then dumb blogs will just use Google to construct an unfair narrative for you.
I think the most interesting/most-covered story to come out of the #LDRSNL tank job was the ‘widely read and covered’ story about the guy who invented Gawker and revolutionized modern content farming, Nick Denton, publishing a private email from famous NBC newsanchor Brian Williams for the sake of ‘winning hits’ and introducing the Gawker web-brand to non-readers. In the email, NBC Nightly news anchor Brian Wiliams basically just says LDR is a disgrace, but I guess it is ‘interesting’ because he works for NBC, or something. His commentary on ‘her’ as a ‘person’ is as arbitrary & worthless as yours or mine, but the keyword synergy behind the story is ‘so money’ and it ‘doesn’t even know it’, except Gawker’s genius content farm editor has a sixth sense for virality that most crappy bloggers will never have. A.J. Daulerio will always be remembered as one of the Founding Fathers of Modern Content Farming.
As I struggle to deal with my own periodic content farm existential crises, I wish I could have just invented Gawker. We could’ve had it all. Rolling in the deep pool of unique visitors.
In no way is the ‘conversion of blogs to content farms’ and ‘the secret corporate nature of indie blogs’ a fresh, relevant, or innovative ‘take’. I am just trying to share my view from inside the meme prison with you. Lana Del Rey and I are on this content farm together sort of like we are the last and only two humans left on Earth. We hate eachother, but at the same time we need eachother to stay alive. There will never be any sort of cathartic epiphany where we admit wrong-doing, nor will there ever be a genuine reconciliation. We will never have what feels like a ‘real’ relationship with Lana Del Rey.
Where does ‘the modern media’s relationship’ with Lana Del Rey go from here?
Unfortunately for indie bloggers, it is back to posting dumb MP3s and serving as a well-crafted PR blast for bands that every1 already knows about. As ‘writers’/people who publish text to webpages on the internet, can we be so sure that another meme comet like Lana Del Rey will come again in our lifetime? Will we sit on our porch, every day looking up at the sky, wondering if another Lana will come by... Or this this our final chance to ‘commit suicide’ with other members of our stupid cult in an effort to be transported into the buzz spaceship that is trailing in the tail of the comet [via Heaven’s Gate/Marshall Applewhite vibes]?
Why do we keep going?
Why do we keep farming in the name of blogging in the name of writing?
In the name of authentic music journalism? What more in the name of authentic music journalism.
-Bono [via U2]
Online publishing is ‘relatively new’ [via long-term historical contexts]. I guess this is just a natural part of the maturation process of the beloved idea of the indie blogosphere. But who even wants to be a part of indie blog farming any more?
Even the most ‘talented’ people who ‘write things on the internet that are actually worth reading’ and/or are reduced to farm fodder. Every character of a writer, blog, or content farm’s 140 character or less tweet is cringe-worthy, 100% worth resenting. Part of me feels ‘confused’ as to why any one would even want to ‘be a music writer’, or write about bands/humans/music on the internet. It takes a warped personality to believe that any one ‘gives a damn about what you and ur crappy website’ thinks, unless you are being paid handsomely for it, then you can sort of approach it like a desk job. It will dehumanize you every day, but at least it pays the bills.
Who is ‘actually passionate’ about ‘how they feel about Lana Del Rey’? It doesn’t matter if you are writing an ‘IN DEFENSE OF LANA DEL REY’ or if you are writing a hilarious and/or insightful web culture + societal takedown piece that accurately deconstructs #LDRgate with an original angle. We all have the same motive. Can 1 voice really shift an entire conversation? What the eff do u think ur gonna tastemake? Do u think u can really make another LDR? Those days are gone, child. We’ve peaked. It’s over. The machine’s broken. Somebody call the Geek Squad.
I am on the edge. I no longer believe in blog evolution. I no longer believe in buzz creationism. I am a believer in buzz intelligent design.
It is interesting to think that there is a generation who even finds these memes to be ‘interesting’ enough to think that they want to be a part of the indiesphere discussion. Do they think the can ‘save’ it by showing us cool, new bands? Do they think they can save us from the content farming doom? Do they think that they can reverse the impact of social media on the speedy, link-baiting nature of all websites, designed to ‘get a good jump on’ SEO?
The indie blogosphere is over the hill. Our opinions are old, tired, uninspired. The next generation will follow our lead, continuing to turn things into poo, inspired by the biased outlook on indie celebrity and relevance that we portrayed to them for years. There is nothing worth saving. Everything is COMPLETELY EFFED, but it will keep going, and we will keep writing that it is COMPLETELY EFFED, but no1 really cares and there isn’t really anything to fix so I guess maybe we should act like it is a beautiful indie film and find ‘happiness and peace’ with that truth.
It is all just sort of just ‘funnie’ but also ‘sad.’ Are the dreams in which Lana Del Rey is dying on the stage of SNL = the best we’ve ever had?
Lana Del Rey saw it coming. We all saw it coming.
In the post-LDR blogging era, I feel free to openly admit that I don’t care about honoring ‘bands that sound good’. The opinions that I have on bands are not actually my own, and my goal is not to preserve a relationship with readers or bands/artists based on editorial pandering. All I can do is ‘go down in flames’ with my sweet, Princess LanaBB. My demented online personality that motivates me to type these words in order to accumulate hits, empathy, praise, and controversy does not have much time left.
Wag The Blog.
Cultural criticism on the internet is dying because we finally realized that the voices behind blogs, twitter feeds, and authentic writing outlets are as fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous as the fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous voices that we thought we had escaped from.
I am not a writer. I am not a blogger. I am a content farmer. These words mean more to the Google robot than they do 2 u. There is nothing exciting about writing, tweeting, or sharing opinions. I do not want to inspire any one to follow me into this dark prison, surrounded by a pile of memes, while I must sort thru them and spin them as ‘meaningful’, ‘interesting’, or whatever else will generate a pageview.
Lana & Me had it all. I’ll look back and think about what I could have done differently. But I'll also think about how beautiful our effed up relationship was and how it some how 'just worked.'
To music and indie purists, Lizzy Grant is the AntiChrist.
To indie modernists and loveslaves of internet content, Lana Del Rey is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Having said that, Lana Del Rey hit a GRAND SLAM on SNL. U did it, BB! I am proud of u. U took 1 for ‘the team’, and now we’re all gonna go to Pizza Hut after the game to celebrate. C U THERE. Let’s share a pitcher of Pepsi. We deserve it. We worked hard.
Is Lana Del Rey indie’s ‘Rebecca Black moment’?
Is LDR ‘not even a big deal’?
Do all buzz humans die?
What’s ur fave content farm?
What’s the future of indie blogosphere?
Do u generally feel ‘who cares’ abt it all?
Do u mainly load webpages ‘out of habit’ not rlly because the site emotionally resonates with u?
If u thought LDR album cycle #1 was fun, are you PUMPED for album cycle #2 in 2-3 years?
Does LDR 'have it all' or 'have nothing'?
Do u <3 LDR for emancipating us from being farm slaves?
Can the farm become self-ware [via skynet]?
Where is Lana Del Rey right now?
Set to the tune of Garth Brooks' "The Dance"
Looking back on the memory of
The Lana Del Rey meme harvest we shared on all the content farms
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye?
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
U could have missed the pain, cyberbullying and slutshaming
But I'd of had to miss the great Lana Del Rey meme harvest
Memeing you, I memed everything
For a moment, wasn't I the king?
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know... I might have changed it all...
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go [via SNL]
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the Lana Del Rey meme harvest
Yes my bloglife is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the Great Lana Del Rey meme harvest
Luv u Lana. Mean it. <3 :-*
So this is the new blog year... and I don't feel any diff... :-(
These are the most popular post of 2k11 based on internet traffic.
1) LANA DEL REY: EXPOSED. B4 she was alt, she was a failed mnstrm artist without fake lips
Ur s000 g00d 4 hits, bb! I couldn't stop blggng abt u if I wanted 2!
2) Zooey Deschanel goes 2 an Oscar party wearing see-thru dress, potentially nips out
Still trying 2 figure out if she actually was nipping out...
3) Zooey Deschanel and Natalie Portman show off their titties in a new indie movie 2gthr
Did any1 see this crappy movie? Remember when James Franco's stock was all high, but then Ryan Gosling stole his internet hunk buzz? Remember when Natalie Portman made a ton of crappy movies so she could get preggers?
4. Does the new Skrillex music video prove he is the Prince of Dubstep?
Skrillex is 2k11's #1 bro. Thank u 4 inventing dubstep, or at least the kind that mass markets actually care abt.
5. James Blake is a Dubstep Classist: The Problems with Modern Indiecentrism
It seems like James Blake's brand 'totally went down the shitter' in 2k11.
6. RAVE OR DIE 4EVR & EVR: The Middle American Commercialization of Rave
We never get tired of looking at these effing ravers and/or dubstreamers.
8. Some Alt Porn Stars go 2 music festival, show off their perfect alt breasts
VA VA VA VOOM. April O'Neil and Andy San Dimas are s00 h00tt
9. Zooey Deschanel strips nude in the trailer for her new FOX sitcom
N33d M0re N00d Z00ey headlines
More Sexi Photos of Kickball Katy pouring champagne on her breasts emerge
Kickball Katy will have a HUGE 2k11
11. LOOK @ THESE EFFING RAVERS AND DUBSTREAMERS
The Next Generation of Middle American Alt
12. Alice Glass shows off her bangin bikini bod in a VIP hot tub
S0 Jeal of that lil bear...
13. Porn star April O'Neil flashes her breasts at HARDFEST
Do u beat off 2 April O'Neil?
14. Is Lana Del Rey the next overrated, marginally talented but TOTALLY HOT female in indie?
Remember when she was just a blog infant, simply requesting that we G0000 PLLLAYYYY YOOO VEEEHDDEEEOHHHOOO GAAHHYYYMEEESAAAH?
15. Are Crusties the Most Authentic Alts in the World?
The Crusties got mad abt this 1...
17. Lana Del Rey shows off her tight lil ass on French TV, isn't wearing any panties
Lana Del Rey accepts her role as indie's #1 sex maven.
18. Have We Reached the Era of the Post-Ironic Riot?
Remember when that Canadian hockey team lost, then their city went post-ironically 'ape shit' just cuz it would be funnie and make a lot of internet memes?
19. NSFW: Unknown Slutwave Lolita re-emerges, does sexy nip slipping photo shoot
I wonder why this broad stopped getting naked on the internet. Seems like people clicked on her
20. The 2011 MTV VMAs: tons of human memes trying 2 produce memes
Remember Jo Calderone?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF just some sort of soft alt porn link baiting website?
Do u miss 2k11?
Who was more important for 2k11: Skrillex or Lana Del Rey?
Is 'indie' effing dead?
Does n e 1 even care abt 'music criticism' any more?
Was this a 'down year' 4 Carles?
Has Carles 'gone down the shitter'?
Do u blame the buzz drought?
Will we emerge from the buzz drought in 2k12?
What will save us?
What was ur fave HIPSTER RUNOFF post of 2k11?
HIPSTER RUNOFF presents: The Authenticator.
Reviewing tracks/songs/mp3s based on their relevancy/authenticity.
What is The Authenticator 'modeled after'/ripping off?
We were inspired by Gorilla Vs. Bear and Pitchfork's 'Track Reviews.' I think other blogs also 'review tracks' too, but it seems like a difficult thing, because it is so content-farmy, but you also really have to make it seem like the track is relevant/important. Hopefully The Authenticator is chill and informative, letting people vibe out on a page, stream some vibes, read a few riffs, feel 'fulfilled' as they leave the HRO Content Farm.
Is The Authenticator world class music writing?
Not really, pretty simple. People who like reading 'authentic music writing' are a-holes/don't actually enjoy music anyways. Right now, it seems like the vision is to have a 'simple MP3 blog' that exists on HRO since the Alt Report is busy 'talking mad shit' about indie celebs and trying to find nude female alt celebs, so The Authenticator can be a different space for people that just wanna vibe on a page and listen to some music.
What is the format of The Authenticator?
There is currently a 'relevancy rating' which ranges from -10 to 10. We just made that up, and the scores will probably not be consistent, but we have learned from market research that 'numerical scores create controversy.' Because paragraphs that describe how music sounds are often difficult to read thru, the format is question based, looking to respond to direct points that the song might raise. Sometimes it is appropriate, sometimes it sells the song short.
Do you think your opinion on crappy buzz mp3 matters?
Not really, but maybe it will be funny and marginally informative.
Stick to what ur good at.
I don't know what that is any more.
What genres are you hoping to 'cover' more with The Authenticator?
Hopefully HRO can give more exposure to formative buzzbands that aren't always interesting enough to cultivate a bloggable meme on their own. There are also some relevant buzzbands who release an mp3 that is pretty relevant, but doesn't always 'fit' into the daily Alt REport stream. This will also give HRO more opportunities to 'pan' rappers AND cover crappy mainstream/youtube tween music.
What happened to The Mainstreamer?
She is between jobs and dealing with a recent breakup.
U have shitty taste and don't know what is relevant.
You are potentially 'correct', but due to the long tail of blogs that has formed, my 'reach' is likely wider than yours, meaning this blog theoretically has an opportunity to 'get more hits', therefore 'more money' because of The Authenticator. However, it could also TANK and lead to the destruction of this blog.
Who is The Authenticator's target audience?
From what I understand, there are people who are constantly searching for MP3s. We would like to trick some people into thinking that our feed of MP3s is 'incredibly relevant.' In addition, a huge attraction behind 'reviews' is to 'piss people off' due to an overall lack of knowledge about the topic, and misinformed/biased evaluations. We are open to all of these opportunities.
Please feel free to visit The Authenticator.
Please ask any more questions about the state of HRO in the comments section. Let us know what you want more/less of.
R u gonna be Carles 4 Halloween?
Which 1 matches ur vibe/personal brand?
I AM CARLES Limited 'Dubstreamer' Edition Shirt
Maybe vibe out in the I Am Carles 'Chill Vibes' White shirt. Seems chill.
Do u just want 'The Classic' I Am Carles tee?
Order by Wednesday night at 10 pm EST to get GUARANTEED HALLOWEEN DELIVERY (USA orders only).
U look good, bb!
Maybe Ladytron was wrong... I want u long after ur seventween...
We used to run marathons 2gether. 'I used 2 rule the world' [via the Coldplays Mylo Xylotowaves]
Hitting up a relevant coffee shop, vibing with local alts.
<3 <3 <3
Getting so dark...
Vibing on some dank
Oh! The Places U'll Vibe!
I Am Alone.
Let's hit up a relevant music festival.
I Am Carles. What do u order @ McDonalds?
I am having an I Am Carles launch party at my condo. You are welcome. There is a pool and a fitness centre.
Need 2 escape from my cubicle...
I am vlogging on my Macbook.
Purchasing an I Am Carles shirt might help u 2 pick up keut alt broads.
I Am Carl's Jr....
Let's move 2 the wilderness and write a buzzworthy ruralwave album. Let's live in the city, and vibe in public space.
Waiting 4 the world 2 change.
'Is This It?' -the Strokes
So major... So EVERYTHING.
Let's listen to bloghouse/electro/dubstep/house music.
Oh hey Tao.
How have u been? Heard u got a book deal.
Let's rapegaze 2gthr...
Sad that the saguaro will outlive me :-(
HELP. EFF. HELP.
Killing time on my iPhone
I Am Carles [via 'deep' photography]
Time 2 go t-shirt shopping at an alternative retailer
I really just wanna ride chillwaves with u...
I wanna ride dubwaves with u...
ORDER NOW so that u can be 'Carles' 4 'Halloween' if u r still 1 of those ppl who 'dresses up.'
There will be some contests for 'free shirts' announced tomorrow.
Force Field PR & HIPSTER RUNOFF in conjunction with PopGun Booking
Where? Cameo Gallery, Brooklyn, NY
When? Friday, October 21, 12-4 am
Who? DJ sets by Neon Indian, Teengirl Fantasy, Beach Fossils, Dent May, DJ Tao Lin, ...Carles...?
Force Field PR, Hipster Runoff and PopGun Booking will be presenting Bleepy Bloop Fest at Cameo Gallery in Brooklyn, NY on Friday, October 21. Bleepy Bloop Fest will be a free event from 12am-4am that will feature DJ sets by Neon Indian, Teengirl Fantasy, Beach Fossils, Dent May, Tao Lin, and…Carles? No RSVP is required, but please leave your bad vibes at the door.
The 'party'/micro-festival involves numerous buzzbands playing 'DJ sets' at some sort of 'Brooklyn-based venue/art-space.' The show marks the launch of the much-maligned author and poet Tao Lin's DJ Career, as he DJs under the name "DJ Tao Lin." There are rumored appearances by a long list of relevant VIP alt celebs*, prizes and free merch*, artistic brand integration* and other surprises*.
(*) -denotes 'buzz building rumors'
Does this seem 'relevant'?
Will it 'tank'?
R u going to BleepyBloopFest?
Please use the comments section to start/spread rumors about #BleepyBloopFest.
Has HRO 'died'?
Has it 'gone down the shitter'?
Can we blame the buzz drought?
Has Carles hired ghostwriters?
When was the last time 'HRO was good'?
Has HRO just become a part of the blogstream media?
What blogs do u read now?
R u still in2 blogs?
R u still in2 'writing' on the internet?
How do u find out abt new music?
How do u find out abt cultural events?
Is consuming any culture via the internet 4 lamestreamers?
What does it mean 2 be alt?
How can HRO be saved?
Pictured: Alice Glass and Ethan Kath of Crystal Castles bronoodle with DJ Frodo (aka Elijah Wood) at #VIPfest
Last Friday was #VIPfest, presented by HIPSTER RUNOFF, the Cobrasnake, and Svedka Vodka. It seemed pretty alt/relevant. That bro from Lord of the Rings showed up. I think he has a DJ career. Then Crystal Castles showed up and played a relevant bleepy bloop DJ set. Every1 enjoyed flavored Svedka, which seemed kinda alt, but potentially kinda Kool-Aid-wave.
The Cobrasnake has evolved in2 a branded human, facilitating branded experiences.
Keut shoes, bb! I like ur Desert-Storm-wave fatigues! I thought they didn't let gheys in the military!
Carles was ready 2 partie!
Branding [via Svedka]
R u VIP??
Pictured (left to right): Flosstradomus, some alt floozie, Kid Sister, Johnny Makeup, some QT bb
Yay 4 the Bulls! I <3 Chicago!
Mark Hunter shares Svedka vodka with some alt floozies
Carles photobombs 2 twinks
Do u like Cults, bb? I read abt them on some buzzblogs!
A moderately chill AZN bro showed up
Drank 2 much flavored SVEDKA vodka, ended up peeing by a dumpster
Pouring some Svedka 4 a blipster bro
Ethan burned a rlly kewl mix CD to play on the club's boombox
Miss u Alice bb... Wish u were holding my hand instead of that can of PBR...
Did u go 2 #VIPfest?
Do u wish u were there?
Did it seem relevant or mnstrm?
R u inspired 2 try Svedka, or are 'branded experiences' wastes of money?
Is there even such thing as VIP n e more, or is every1 a VIP?
I can't be afraid any more.
Afraid 2 be forever relevant.
Afraid 2 continue my pursuit 4 authentic buzz
Afraid of the expectations of the buzzosphere
This is my blogspot
A vital part of the alt internet
Many ppl emailed me
asking "Carles, why have u failed us?"
Many words of encouragement
Ppl saying they missed me
Saying they were lost, and unable 2 determine
what IS and IS NOT relevant
They could no longer 'LOL' and giggle at the internet
No longer laugh at the indie alt celebs who exist in our blogosphere
Instead, they were forced to read blogs with pseudo-'personality'
That act like every mp3 is God's gift 2 indie
No1 was here 2 talk abt who PANNED who
No1 was here 2 blog abt life
No1 was here 2 be an authentic arbiter of buzz
I am NOT a tastemaker
I am an arbiter of buzz
This is me
Ready 2 take on the world
after my VACAY
It was great 2 take my 2 weeks
But now the blog must go on
The memes never stop
The buzzosphere will have its ups and downs
But the Circle of Buzz is a beautiful process that must be celebrated.
This is our celebration
Welcome back, Carles
Did anything relevant happen while I was gone?
Recently I found out that I was nominated to win a HUGE honor, which is an MTV VMA (Video Music Award) for best blog. Every year I watch that show, and it produces some great memes, so I would LOVE to be voted 2 be a winner, and go to the Awards Ceremony where ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.
Can Carles win an MTV VMA?
Will HIPSTER RUNOFF 'finally' get the mainstream recognition it deserves from lamestreamers?
IS winning an MTV VMA one of the biggest honors in the history of modern pop culture?
Can Carles 'take down' tons of other 'really important indie blogs' to take home the 'best blog' honor?
Will Carles be part of a sillie meme at the MTV VMAs?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF an 'independent music blog' or just a mainstream 'piece of shit part of the machine mainstream indie blog'?
Vote Now! [via traffic hoarding schemes] http://omusicawards.com/vote/best-independent-music-blog/
'I gotta feeling... that 2nite's gonna be a good nite...'
I think I've accomplished everything I wanted to with this project. I can't imagine myself blogging about anything else ever again because I feel like I have already blogged about everything and I am just a slave to boring alt memes. It's probably time to move on and find a real career & some challenges that can actually make the world a better place.
Thanks for the memories. We had a good run. I apologize to every one who I have hurt.
The Blogger Formerly Known as Carles
the next HRO alt QT
The VALENTINES DAY CONTEST has morphed into the St Patty's Day Contest
In order to enter into this phase of the St Patty's Day contest:
1. Take photo of urself holding a sign that says something buzzworthy/ a relevant alt meme reference
2. email to carleser [at] gmail.com
3. Compete to win prizes such as a modeling contract with the now defunct I AM CARLES brand and other prizes described in this post.
Who will u vote for in the St Patty's Day contest?
The entrants from the #Valentine's Day contest will receive additional 'buzz votes' based on their hashtag votes within the comments.
New entrants should include "#challenge" in their email subject line 2 Carles.
Who is totes Keut???!
#QueenOfLimbs (Formerly known as #IHatePeens)
Who should win?
Who has had ur heart since the Valentine's Day contest era?
Will a new St Patty Wave contestant 'win' the contest?
Who should be the new face of the now defunct I AM CARLES brand?
R u going 2 #Challenge these QTs?
Look at me
I am a bro
who comments on the popular alt/lamestream blog HIPSTER RUNOFF
I saw that there were 0 comments on a post
and something inside of me took over
I rushed to comment
To be the first to see the post
To metaphorically plant the flag of my nation
on the moon that is this fresh HRO post
I obtained a first
I declared 'first'
My first 'first'
Boldly firsted where no Brononymous had firsted b4
and broadcasted it 2 my livestream
I am a FirstWave Bro
One time when I was an entry-level blog, some1 said to me "You will have a real blog when ppl fight for firsties on every post."
Every time I see a new 'first', I know that my blog brand is strong.
If a blog post exists on a blog with 0 pageviews, is it even a blog?
Do yall <3 the 'first' commenters on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Have firstwavers 'ruined' the comments section of HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Are firstwaver 'entry level bro's or the purest HRO fans in the world?
Is a 'first' worth the most on HRO, Alt Report, or the Mainstreamer?
Have the comments on HRO 'gone down the shitter'?
Has the quality of writing on HRO 'declined' as have the commenters?
Are comments still an important, unique aspect of the blogosphere, or is it just where 'trolls and cowards lurk' to say mean things abt artists and relevant humans who are contributing something real 2 the world?
Has HIPSTER RUNOFF lost its readers from the 2k9 golden era of buzzbands?
Will u ever get a 'first' on a HIPSTER RUNOFF post?
Please use the comments section to communicate with the commenting community of HIPSTER RUNOFF.
Welcome to MoMalt.org. The Museum of Modern Alt.
Welcome to the Museum of Modern Alt. MoMalt is a relevant eMuseum where we use the power of 'art'/'comics'/doodle-wave drawings/jpgs to reflect on some of the most important memes, events, and humans in the history of the modern blogosphere/altosphere.
Daily memes that will last 4evr.
'Exit thru the Food Court.'
The Museum of Modern Alt is intended to give us an opportunity to 'celebrate indie, alt, and meme history.' Every day, we search the blogosphere for 'museum-worthy' events that we will want to tell our grandchildren about. Unfortunately, we have no way to relay the stories of indie to our children because they won't be able to scroll backwards for hundreds of years on blogs.
It is the Museum of Modern Alt's mission to preserve and celebrate the great moments in alt/indie/the internet, providing opportunities 4 reflection on the most relevant alt happenings of today, yesterday, & tomorrow.
Blogs will not last forever.
It is time 4 us 2 start trying to preserve & celebrate our culture.
God Bless the MoMalt Mission.
God Bless Alt.
'The Modern Blog is killing itself. The Modern Indiesphere will eat its tail.'
The Mainstreamer has exited private beta and is now open 2 public browsing
I feel like after the Arcade Fire won the Grammy 4 'Best Rock Band', indie has finally gone mainstream. Sometimes I can't tell the difference between what is alt, what is mainstream, what 'music fans' care abt. Do ppl 'want to be entertained' by their fave blog? Do they visit a blog because of what it 'covers' or because of 'what it doesn't cover'?
I feel confused. I wonder if HIPSTER RUNOFF as it exists has 'peaked.' It seems like it might be time to 'start a new journey.' Start my final journey in2 the Mainstream. HIPSTER RUNOFF PRESENTS THE MAINSTREAMER.
Here are some questions that ppl have asked Carles:
Who writes the Mainstreamer?
Like the Alt Report Robot writes the ALT REPORT, I have hired some1 called tHe uLtiMaTe LaMeStReAmEr 2 write all of the Mainstreamer posts.
Thanks for finally doing this. The Alt Report was getting really tweeny and lamestream.
Sorry bro. My bad.
Why have u ruined HRO with the new layout?
Cuz HRO 3.0 is all about the future of the web, and moving 'beyond the blog.' I'm not sure what that means, but I read abt it after some other blogspot redesigned.
Why Comic Sans?
Cuz it looks kewl <3.
What inspired u 2 start the Mainstreamer?
I feel like indie music is abt to die, so I really need to 'diversify' before I go down with the ship.
What bands will u cover on the Mainstreamer?
Slutwave, tween pop, rock n roll via WalMart, hip hop rap by African American AND white ppl [via Eminems]. Just the kewl shit like Kings of Leons, Lenny Kravitz, Radiohead, Kanye West, Larry Gaga, Kitty Perrie, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey & the Nick Cannons, Little Wayne, Romeo, and BowWow... The usual... Nickelback... Puddle of Mudd, Hinder, every1 playing Brochella. Mark McGrath and the Sugar Rays. Fred Durst. Please feel free 2 let me know who should be covered.
R u just going after 'EZ hits' from mainstream content?
No. This is a passion project. 'I am passionate about pop culture, the blogosphere, and social media.' -some1 applying for a job on the internet
Follow on twitter
R u ready 2 go mnstrm?
~~~LIKE US ON FACEBOOKS~~~
~~~BE MY FRIEND~~~
~~~TAG ME IN FOTOS~~~
~~~INVITE ME 2 EVENTS~~~
'WE'RE ON FACEBOOK--IT'S OFFICIAL'
News. Updates. Wall2Wall.
Recommending kewl buzzbands 2 ur bros.
Let's get social.
Let's update some statuses.
We're finally on The_Social_Network.
Maybe we'll have some 'contests' and make u 'follow' + 'like' 2 be entered in2 it or something 'new and social' like that.
Let's write on eachother's walls. Here is my profile.
It feels great 2 be 'social' now.
I feel like we can finally 'talk' abt life, now.
I wanna be ur friend
Plz 'friend' me.
Let's 'cross streams' and unite.
I wanna share/stream my life with u.
It feels great 2 share this experience with u.
We're finally on Facebooks.
Follow us on twitter @hipsterrunoff!
Feel free 2 chat us on FB chat! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hipster-Runoff-official/194694380545903
Feel free 2 chat us on Twitter_chat @hipsterrunoff
What do yall want 2 see more of on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Plz call the HIPSTER RUNOFF HOTLINE with ur question for Carles. You will hear Carles' voice, encouraging you to ask a question. Be prepared to speak your question in2 the phone. Carles will respond 2 ur question on the next podcast if it is audible + relevant + interesting + provides an opportunity for compelling commentary.
The HRO HOTLINE is here for u. Program the number into ur phone.
Call Carles when ur on a long drive.
Call Carles when u need to vent to some1 after a traumatic life experience.
Call Carles when u need to be cheered up.
Call Carles when ur alone, and want 2 feel like there is some1 there.
Your number + identity will remain confidential. This is sort of like a 'teen issues' hotline, except for 'relevant ppl' who just want to 'shoot the shit' or maybe they have 'grown ass problems.'
*Note: Carles is willing to address teen & tween issues.
HIPSTER RUNOFF is here for u.
Let's get vulnerable.
Let's talk abt life, love, loss, buzzbands, indie, 'the scene', career advice, relationship advice, the internet, tweens, society, America, fastfood, & anything relevant 2 modern life.
Call now: (909) BRO-SKI2
aka (909) 276-7542
What r u waiting for?
What r u going 2 ask?
"I wanna be ur broski."
-the HIPSTER RUNOFF hotline
U WERE A REAL SHIT STORM
U WERE RLLY MEANINGFUL
I LEARNED A LOT ABT MYSELF
I LEARNED A LOT ABT INDIE
I LEARNED A LOT ABT BUZZ
I LEARNED A LOT ABT SLUTWAVE, RAPEGAZE AND PITCHFORK
I LEARNED A LOT ABT ALT BREASTESES
I LEARNED A LOT ABT MEMES, JARED LETO, AND BEST COAST DESCHANEL
I LEARNED A LOT ABT _______
THE MOST HIGHLY BLGGBL MOMENTS OF 2K10
GIRL SQUIRTS SPAGHETTIOS OUT OF HER VAGINA AS 'PERFORMANCE ART' [LINK]
TWEEN WOLVES ACT LIKE EFFING WEIRDOS AT A LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL [LINK]
M.I.A. MAKES 'THE ULTIMATE MEME' GINGER KILLING MUSIC VIDEO [LINK]
THE BROAD FROM PARAMORE TWEETS PIX OF HER TITS [LINK]
THE GIRLS FROM JUNO GETS NAKED [LINK]
KANYE WEST TWEETS PIX OF HIS 10.0 INCH BLACK PENIS [LINK]
KE$HA RIDES SLUTWAVES, RELEASES PIX OF HERSELF COVERED IN CUM [LINK]
PICTURES OF UGLY JUGGALO TITTIES [LINK]
ZOOEY DESCHANEL RELEASES SEX TAPE [LINK]
ZOOEY DESCHANEL HAS CRAZY COKE EYES ON LETTERMAN [LINK]
ZOOEY DESCHANEL JIMMY JANGLES A TAMBOURINE OVR AND OVR AGAIN [LINK]
LINDSAY LOHAN'S SIDEBOOB 'TRANSCENDS GRAVITY' [LINK]
LINDSAY SPILLS 'SHITLOAD OF BLOW' ON HER SHOES [LINK]
HONDA MAKES CAR COMMERCIAL THAT MAKES FUN OF EFFING HIPSTERS [LINK]
EVOLVING FROM HIPSTER 2 HIPPIE [LINK]
We've come a long way
thru the 'shitstorm'/'shitfest' that was 2k10
Been thru a lot
[via the best of times, but mainly the worst of times]
What were ur fave moments/memes of 2k10?
Who were the most bloggable memes/humans/albums/newsbits/music videos of 2k10?
Who 'stole ur heart' in 2k10?
What was the 'highest moment' in HRO writing this year?
What was the 'biggest piece of shit blog post' on HIPSTER RUNOFF this year?
R u sad abt the ALT REPORT being born in February of 2k10?
Was Kanye's 10.0 the #1 moment of 2k10 or M.I.A.'s fall from grace?
Who was the biggest album letdown of 2k10?
R u ready 4 2k11?
Are indie blogs and memes abt 2 die?
r u glad 2k10 is ovr?
Is Panda Bear's TOMBOY the greatest album that never was of 2k10?
Who had the 'shittiest' album of 2k10?
What was the most overrated buzzband of 2k10?
Who/what/when was the meme-est meme that made a meme that all of us <3ed re-memeing in 2k10?
Kinda over it.
Maybe HRO has 'peaked' 1-2 years ago.
Maybe the indiesphere doesn't need me anymore.
No longer 'progressive'
Say 'the same shit' ovr and ovr again
Repackage that shit
No reason to blog.
Wonder if I should just 'hang it up'
'call it a night'
Admit that I 'had a good run' but now it is just time 2 let other people 'do their thing'
Become the next generation of 'innovators'
Blogosphere is s0 boring
a 'machine' that I am just a part of
Hyping the same shitty bands
Saying the same shit abt dumb crap that happened on the internet
Alt Report was a complete disaster
blog, tweet, hits
blah blah blah
"look at me, I'm a fucking blog"
Maybe I should get a new blog
Blog about some other 'really important topic'
But then get tired of that
What's next for HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is it time to 'hang up my blogging boots'
Who effing cares abt buzzbands, the album of the year, 'effing hipsters'
Who cares abt leaks, undiscovered mp3s, lamestreamers
Who cares about personal branding, discovering an authentic self
Who cares about 'evolving' as a human/blog/journalist
Time is bullshit
Just going to die anyways
Going to be forgotten.
After over 250 submissions, and 'tons of hits', the HIPSTER RUNOFF HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST will come 2 an end 2morrow nite. 1 more nite 2 vote. A lot of the costumes 'effing sucked', but it was still chill because they gave the site a couple of hits.
Who had relevant indie costumes?
Standard #TeamAnCo bros vibing out [VOTE]
The XX: yall seem chill. [VOTE]
Would u rather be intimate with 'real Bethany' or 'fake Bethany'? [VOTE]
U really have to 'give this broad mad props' for the commercial realism/dedication to the entire gimmick. Hope she didn't get her cat high [via second hand] [VOTE]
Just a couple of Neon Indians yall [VOTE]
But I kinda want to start a new band with this Alice that appeals 2 CC fans. Might change her name to 'Andrea Glass' or something [VOTE]
'What's the deal with effing hipsters/buzzbands/blogs?' -the alt Jerry Seinfeld [VOTE]
Do yall still hope #Project_Girl 'gets wells soons' or is she just 'faking it' 2 get votes? [VOTE]
these ppl claim to be 'shoe gaze' and 'shit gaze' [VOTE]
Are unchill azn costumes as unchill as the original unchill azn bro? [VOTE]
Sometimes I wonder if hipsters are just 'zombies' that follow trends bc they are dead inside [VOTE]
Just wanna drink some Four Loko and vibe out on my Macbook [VOTE]
Sometimes I get scared, scared that I can't stay relevant forever. Every day a new fan comes to my blog and reads it. Tweens grow up, search for self-awareness. Parents look for cool web content that gives them a perspective on the worldviews of their children. New fans 'stumble upon' HRO via tweet/facebooks/stumbling upon, etc. I wonder if with each new fan, HRO becomes a little bit less authentic.
Wonder if there is a 'new frontier' of readers who can be cultivated, converted into HRO loyalist. Fans who know how to chill. Readers who just want to be authentic.
Wonder if cats/kittens are the future of HRO readers.
Seems like they will be chill, and they can just mill around on top of their macbooks, vibing out, scrolling down the page, enjoying the blog for what it is--a blog.
So many ppl complain
"Carles, the commenters are soo annoying"
"Carles, the commenters try to sound just like u."
"Carles, every1 just tries to get first."
"Carles, u were relevant in 2k4"
"Carles, u need to post more music"
"Carles, ______ is not very alt"
"Carles, ur mainstream writings are brilliant, why do u waste time on buzzbands?"
"Carles, ur site is NSFW"
"Carles, ______ sux. They shouldn't be a buzzband"
"Carles, don't make fun of ______ for smoking dank."
"Carles, all u do is rely on a formula that isn't funny any more."
"Carles, why did u hire shitty writers to generate so much shitty content?"
"Carles, why do u keep pretending to retire?"
"Carles, u post too much"
"Carles, u don't post enough"
"Carles, where is the HIPSTER RUNOFF EP?"
"Carles, will u give me a job with HRO inc?"
"Carles, why are ur ads soo annoying"
"Carles, did u steal my weed?"
"carles, why r u so negative towards artists?"
"Carles, why r u such a _______?"
"Who the eff do u think u r?"
So many questions/concerns/h8rs/<3rs
So many messages
Sometimes I just don't know who I'm supposed to be as a blog
If I can just be 'me'
or if u want me 2 be 'some1 else'
So many expectations
Wish I could just escape
become a chill cat
with an owner who blows dank smoke in my face to 'get me high'
It's not easy being a blog.
What is the future of HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF 'going down the shitter'?
Has HIPSTER RUNOFF 'peaked'?
What do u want to see more/less of on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is the HRO commenting community 'O.O.C.'? (out of control)
Do u h8 Carles?
Should Carles 'pass on the torch' to a new, exciting, aspiring young blogger?
In the future, will humans stop reading HRO?
In the future, will cats start reading HRO?
What post meant the most 2 u?
Did 1 post inspire u?
Did a post make u 'lol', then cry?
Was this the worst year of HRO in the history of HRO?
Is HRO the album of the decade?
Did Carles 'peak' when he invented the genre name 'chillwave'?
What's next for Carles in 2k10?
What kind of coverage do u want 2 see in 2k10?
Will tweens still be relevant in 2k10?
Are 'altbros' dead?
What was the most annoying ad campaign on HRO this year?
What type of coverage do u want 2 see on the Alt Report?
Was this the final year of HRO?
What will be the buzz terms/internet slang of 2k10?
Is 'life' a gift?
Is 'life on the internet' a greater gift?
HIPSTER RUNOFF: A safe place for teens and adults to hang out
I have always wanted to be a designer. I believe that we can meaningfully impact the world by the not only the things that we own, but also the clothes that we wear. We live in a beautiful society which encourages tiered self-expression depending on your income. You can truly show the world who you are, and where you 'fit in' with society.
The brand is meant to be 'high level' but also 'relatable.' Similar to Chili's. You feel comfortable when you eat there, but you are also having a unique experience.
Do u feel alone? The IAMCARLES.com brand is attempting to be similar to the HIPSTERRUNOFF.com brand. It wants u 2 feel like it 'gets' u. Carles wants to relate to you.
alone on the internet
downloading illegal mp3s
Pulls out credit card
purchases t-shirts of bands and brands
because buying things off the internet
seems 'more authentic' than the limited selection of
local shops in his suburban area.
//////This post is 'sponsored' by iamcarles.com
'I will take a picture of u and remember it 4 ever
the way u looked that day
young 4evr and ever' -something a fashion line would say, I think.
It feels good to finally put my design school degree 2 use.
I never thought I could create something.
Bringing a product to market requires tons of teamwork and dedication.
Lots of emails, lots of decisions.
Just doing your best to 'preserve/strengthen ur brand' without 'losing authenticity.'
It means not isolating ppl.
I wonder if this tshirt will cut into the 'band tee shirt' demographic.
'For a limited time, I will offer you free shipping'
- a company that doesn't understand that consumers know that they are 'paying for shipping' somehow.
Please email carleser [at] gmail.com if you would like to interview Carles about his design process + brand goals.