hornie | Hipster Runoff


Do bros only go 2 concerts in hopes of rubbing their erect penises on girls?

Sometimes I wonder
'Is live music REALLY that special?'
'Why do we care abt seeing songs live?'
'Do we even rlly want 2 see bands?'

The answer is most likely, "NO."
to all of those questions
but we go 2 concerts not 2 be lonely
and we only fight loneliness
bc we are hornie.

At the end of the day
everything we do is motivated by sex
[via Freud_bro]

Concerts are no different
Bros go in hopes
of getting their peens hard
and rubbing them on females

Maybe after the concert
they will go home
and he still stick his hard peen
in her wet vagina

and they will say
'i am glad the music brought us 2gthr'
But probably not

I guess the only point of 'concerts'
are just 4 bros 2 get their peens hard
and try to rub them all ovr the girl in front of them
And hope they find a girl who will 'turn around'
by the end of the nite
and 'make out with them'
then they will be the girl who was like
'I can't believe I made out with a random bro
at a _______ concert'
acting like they are some character on @HBO_GIRLZ

Maybe in a way
we only evr do n e thing
bc we are looking 2 rub up on some1/something
2 feel a lil bit 'less alone'

Why do u go 2 concerts?
Have u evr 'rubbed up' on some1 during a 'set'?
Can u find <3 in a hopeless place at a concert?
Can u see that bro's erect cock?
Do u miss being a teen who could only 'get sexual' in public places?
Will u evr be as hornie as u were ages 12-17?


NSFW: Hornie teen bro fingerblasts his GF right in the middle of Lollapalooza

CONFESSION: I jacked off to a girl on Facebook's photos.


It wasn't my proudest moment. I'll tell you that much.

It was late. I was just doing my usual routine, where I browse Facebook and resent + hate the people who I have known from my past. Tons of bros, girls bragging about their awesome lives'. Reading about job promotions from one bleak position to another. Seeing photos of lamestreamers who thought it was a good idea to capture their family reunion at Applebee's. Usually, my next stop is browsing internet pornography videos, but tonight, my online sexual behavior patterns got crossed.

I sorta got turned on looking at some pix of this BB that I used to know...

It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll tell you that much. But it was late. And I was alone.

Gotta be honest, there is a specific niche of girls from high school who still have hot friends, go on trips to the beach. They still have their BANGIN bikini bods for a few more years, before they end up getting impregnated by WASP dudes ~3x, and they'll never get that bod back. Sure, I could have watched some 'amateur casting couch' videos with similar girls, but maybe I would let my mind do the fantasizing tonight.

It wasn't just about hotness. Sometimes it is about the nostalgic memory of 'a girl you found hot' during your adolescence. Seeing the girl you had a crush on from 3rd grade, thinking about what your life would have been like if you were together for the last ~20 years. Browsing to 'the hot girl from HS's Facebook page' to find out that she turned into an obvious substance abuser, in a sorta hot, tragic way. Hearing that a girl you went to high school with got implants. Seeing that a chubby girl lost mad weight and has more self esteem to wear slutty seasonal outfits.

Maybe this was normal? I mean, pure pornography trains you to fantasize about women with cartoonish figures who you will never interact with IRL.

It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll tell you that much.

I also navigated to some seasonal sluttie outfit galleries. The bangin bods were on full display, but I'm honestly not much of a role playing bro.

Once again, this is not my proudest moment.

In that dark moment, browsing through the grid of Facebook pages, I did something that I would tell no one about. Sure, I could have navigated to hi-def streaming internet porn, but there was something that pushed me over the edge. Something that made me pleasure myself while looking at the photograph of some one in my extended social network. I guess that's why Zuckerburg is all about tiers of privacy. To make sure every one can shut down 'beat off' access to your photos.

It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll tell you that much.

I'm hornie.

Srsly tho... Have u evr?

Syndicate content