HIPSTER RUNOFF » Human Accessories

Old Alt Bands/Musicians turn in2 Cool Dads

Carles — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:43:40 +0000

Yall. I remember when I made up a theory that aging alt bands like Weezer & Death Cabs turn into Cool Dads. Then I saw a picture of Morrisonney, the lead singer of the Smiths Band.

Do yall think this is the picture which verifies the Cool Dad Theory?
Or is it just another example of the emerging trend of human accessories.

I’m afraid of growing old.
I’m afraid of my hair turning grey.
I’m afraid of losing my hair.
I’m afraid of turning into a cool dad.
I’m afraid of being a self-aware cool dad who knows he isn’t cool.
I’m afraid of my son/daughter eventually being ‘cooler than me’ when I am 54.
I’m afraid of having to ‘raise a child.’
I’m afraid of my first divorce.
I’m afraid of feeling pressure to hold down a job for more than 7.5 months.
I’m afraid of having to give away my tattered Am Appy shirts to ‘the poor’ in 2k__.

/// This is a post about coping with age.

Should I start listening 2 the Smiths after the electrobubble bursts?
Did u go through a ‘Smiths era’ or is that 4 old ppl?
Should I put the Smiths on my ‘top albums of 2k8′ list?

FestivalLilAltHumanAccessory (AKA ‘A Lil Beer Holder’)

Carles — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:31:00 +0000

Lil Alts should have the freedom to roam where ever their alt-hearts desire.

I’ll never 4get the first time my mom took me to a music festival. She dressed me up in the most [HIGHLY STREET FASHION BLOGGABLE] clothes possible. We even got a pair of Festival boots on clearance from my local boot store boutique called ‘Target.’

I was pumped to see my fave band EL GUINCHO, but he cancelled. Fortunately, Pitchfork was deep enough to put Animal Collective as a headliner/a meaningful night time slot. The performance changed my life. I don’t even enjoy traditional music in traditional formats any more–I will only go to Animal Collective live shows for the rest of my life.

N e ways…my too-free-spirited mom fell in luv with this alt-celeb musician/party photog. I ended up holding her Bud Heavie all day. Eww !!!!!#&%!!!$!

I wish my mom wasn’t so free spirited. What will my future be like?

Will I rebel against my mom’s free spirited ways and become a mainstreamer? Or will I abuse her free-spiritedness to become my high school’s alt-est, free spirited-est girl whose mom lets her drink box wine at sleepovers if her friends ‘turn in their keys & promise not 2 leave the house’?

[only connect on FLICKR]

FestivalLilAltHumanAccessory (AKA ‘A Lil Beer Holder’)

Carles — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:31:00 +0000

N e ways…my too-free-spirited mom fell in luv with this alt-celeb musician/party photog. I ended up holding her Bud Heavie all day. Eww !!!!!#&%!!!$!

I wish my mom wasn’t so free spirited. What will my future be like?

[only connect on FLICKR]

Rising Gas Prices Ruin Things For Every1

Carles — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:19:00 +0000

Whether you are alt or mainstream, a soccer mom or a free spirited mom, a cool dad or a demanding dad…our global economy is in trouble and you are feeling it in your wallet. Manyof the problems stem from the fact that Arab druglords and warlords are in charge of the world’s oil, but I did not study political science-y stuff in college. Sometimes I step back and think about how krazie it is that we need all of this black stuff from the ground 2 make our lives’ easier…

With that being said, it’s important to note that our global gas crunch has ruined things for this lil alt human accessory. As opposed to being driven to her Summer Enrichment Courses in a minivan with a DVD player, or a spacious Toyota Camry, she was forced to be chauffeured by her mom on a skateboard. You can see a bandage on her left leg which we can only assume was caused by an accident on the cobblestone roads of the netherworld in which she lives.

I think it is good for free-spirited mothers to express themselves, but I don’t now how I feel about converting urself into a rickshaw to transport your kid.

Have yall ever been poor? Remember when Jewel lived in a van?

[Photo by The Face Huntbro]

I have a dream that one day every kid will have parents who are able to afford vintage conversion vans.

A Cool Dad Who Dresses His Lil Alt Human Accessory in street gear

Carles — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:17:00 +0000

I think it’s cute when families take portraits and they are dressed in coordinating outfits. This Cool Dad dressed up his little bro just like him. It’s kute. Within 3 years, they will be able to share clothes if the father ever wants his clothes to fit like ‘a normal person’, as opposed to the ‘trash bag in the wind’ look.

Since they wear urban wear/street gear 2gether, is it safe to assume that they listen to Will Smith’s “Just the 2 Of Us” on repeat?

I can’t wait to have kids and dress them up in American Appy/Babie Urban Outfitters. Hopefully they make mini- prescription shutter shades so my lil alt kid can wear them to school. My biggest fear is my child not being able to see the ‘chalk board’ at the front of the classroom. I hope he doesn’t develop A.D.D. and spend the rest of his life on a quest for alt-celeb status.

[Photo by Preggers goldfish]

Sometimes family portraits can get creepie. They can end up looking kind of like a cult. Especially if it is a white American family.

This family looks like they eliminate all of their female offspring until the stars align for a specified ‘breeding season.’

Lil Alt Human Accessory

Carles — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:25:00 +0000

I was looking at a street fashion blog, and I stumbled upon this free-spirited alt-MILF with a lil alt human accessory. It reminded me of the blog The Hipster Runoffs, since that’s what they talk about all of the time.

She is so free-spirited that she has inspired a creepie passer-by to envision his life with a free-spirited mom who had a little boy who wore bandanas.

“Men who are strong enough to accept that a woman loves her son more than she will ever love him are the strongest men in the world.’
-Stepdads who wear Stepdad jeans

The worst part about having a free spirited mom is that sometimes they will forget to buy you food, school supplies, and clothes because they spend a lot of money thrifting and drinking box wine.

[Dublin Streets]

Lil Alts

Carles — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:09:00 +0000

God bless the Alternative Children of the World.
God bless those cool & free spirited parents who enable their children to show off their personalities through the power of fashion.

Photo by HEL LOOKS:

Jermu (3)
“I’m wearing an eagle t-shirt and flower socks. My cap is yellow and there is some net at the back. I like red, cars and legos.”

I rlly wish I could rent him as a human accessory for a night. <33
********

I wonder if he is wearing urban camos because he is a soldier in some sort of Alternative Neon Electro Civil War in a war-torn 3rd World Country.
<3 neon blood diamonds <3
[photo by Manila Style]

Cool Dads and Free Spirited Moms make Lil Alts.
MAKE LIL ALTS, NOT WAR.

“If only we could all be bright… like neon love.”
-the Prime Minister of Australia, 2009

Human Accessories

Carles — Sat, 24 May 2008 01:46:00 +0000

In a previous post, I mentioned how humble AZNs will be big accessories in 2k10. After seeing this lady take her wardrobe to the next level with an alternative baby, I can’t help but be 110% positive that human accessories are the next ‘kanye west glasses’/’shutter shades.’

Other possible human accessories:
1. Alt Bro who irons his hair
2. Mainstream girl in a heather grey AA v-neck
3. AZN who looks like he/she can’t speak
4. Pouting alt bro(ad)
5. Alternative Twink who hasn’t come out of the closet yet
6. Pair of girls who wear clothes designed by Perez Hilton
7. Kreepy Fat Guy Who Only Listens to bootlegged Steve Aoki DJ sets

Can u think of any more possible human accessories?

[TheBabeHunter]