HIPSTER RUNOFF

I was reading some mainstream snarky blogs and zany meme aggregators, and they showed off some guy who had a model of child predator glasses tattooed on to his face. Some people said that he is a 'hipster', but I feel like he might be more of a GenX-alt4lifer, who probably has a bartending job or something. Most people who have invested heavily in tattoos don't have a 'real job', unless they are an African American professional athlete.

It seems like people who get tattoos 'just want to bring more attention to their personal brand', but this bro took it a step further. After covering his whole body with tattoos, he needed something more than I.R.L. ppl looking at him like 'omg.' He needed to create a lil bit of social media that 'took the internet by storm.'

The process seems straightforward.

Have a 'tattoo artist' doodle/trace some glasses on to ur face/skull.

Make sure every1 is chill.

Make sure my mnstrm bro is filming it

Try not 2 'lol' cuz of the pain.

Reassure urself. Say 'when ppl look at my body during my open casket funeral, they will see an old man who had zany glasses tattied on to his face. They will truly understand me. This tatty is worth it 4 my long term brand goals.'

Get ready 4 the ink gun.

Bleeding a lil bit. Feeling pain.

Need 2 take a breather since it hurts so much.

Almost done... Wonder if a 'tattoo artist' has the same skills as a 'sandwich artist' [via Subway].

Does my GF like it? She will look into this face as I make love 2 her. This face will sit across from her parents at Thnxgvng dnnr. These bifocals will enhance the view of my son exiting her birth canal. This bro is me.

Feeling pumped about my new brand. Like I could get a job at some sort of rugged Gen X alt lifestyle magazine like Vice or Street Carnage and Television Boners.

Feel happy 2 b alive. Feel happy 2 have a girl who will support me no matter what.

Is this bro a 'hipster'?
Is this a 'hipster meme' that is as strong as 'the hipster olympics'?
Is this bro 'trying 2 hard'?
Is this bro 'fucking bad ass' and 'not a pussy like u' because he got a face tat?
What type of sunglasses would u get tattooed on to ur face? Wayfarers? Child Preds? Shuttershades?
Is this bro's brand enhanced, or 'in the shitter' with his new face tat?
Is Mike Tyson the ultimate face tat bro?
Do u think he could hold down a job in Corporate Middle America?
Do u think this decade will have solid human memes?
Does it 'hurt' 2 get a tattoo?
Is the only pain that hurts u 'emotional pain'?
Is there more 2 life than 'how kewl u look'?
Is the GenX alternative brand 'too raw' 4 u, like they don't value their own consumer power?

Do u ever miss 'the old u', before u transitioned ur brand into something totally new and different?

Ever just wish u could go back in time and chill with ur bros, back b4 everything got complicated?
Do u ever regret some of the personal branding choices/personal interests that ur personal brand implemented/absorbed?
Should I get a _________ tattoo on my _________?

Previous Child Predator Glasses Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/forecasting-the-child-predator-glasses-economy.html

Previous Zany Tattoos
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/tattoos

I remember when M.I.A. had a baby, and it was a meme. She was pregnant, and people were trying to guess its name/what it looked like, even though she wasn't even that mnstrm famous. She also went moderately viral for wearing a zany ass dress that exposed her full belly.

I remember that she even went on to 'perform with Kanye West' at the Grammy's even though many said that she 'should have stayed home' to rest/not let her pregnant feet get all swollen.

Her son was born, and ppl were happy for her, and she enjoyed tweeting abt her son, but was also like 'leave my lil bro alone. just want him 2 b a normal kid.'

Feel confused about what she recently posted to her 'twitpic' account. Seems like she converted her son into a fashion/alt blog meme by dressing him in a similar onesie. Sorta wish I could be a homosexual celeb gossip blogger, and call him 'fierce' or something like that.

Lil bro seems lost, like he is unsure of what is happening, not confident in his lil personal brand. Looks like he seriously might prefer 'solids' and 'stripes.' He might be some sort of 'advertisement'/'model.' Based on the photo aesthetic, it was possibly shot by Terry Richardson or Dov Charney. Might be trying to sell me that onesie/encouraging me to share the gift of life with some1.

Feel bad for the kid. Seems like he is being branded to become an 'independent spirit', but u can't be independent if your parents make free-spirited decisions for you, particularly when it comes to zany fashion decisions. Wonder if he will 'rebel' against his mom by wearing Hollister/CrombieAberFitch. Wonder if this lil bro is the next Paris Jackson. Feel like we will see a picture of him at age 5 chilling at a music festival V.I.P. area with his mom, and decide to call him 'cool', like he 'knows whats up.' He will be wearing sunglasses. Can't believe his name is 'Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman.'

Should celebs refrain from sharing their lives' with fans [via twitter], or should they be even more open? I remember the time that Ed "Grizzly Bear" Droste and Feist shared a meaningful rollercoaster ride, then it got 'tons of blog buzz.'

Not sure if a moment turns into 'just another meme' when u share it with the internet.
Not sure if ur baby turns into 'just another meme' if you post pix of it on the internet.

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Lists: rappers, indie songstresses, annoying ppl, 2k10 buzzbands

Read more>>>>

This is a blog post about the popular meme The Hipster Grifter.

There once was an AZN from Utah
Who had dreams of moving to the city
breaking free of her oppressive (and possibly sexually abusive) Mormon parents who adopted her
and working for a relevant entertainment/media company (via Vice Magazine)
and most importantly 'fucking a lot of dudes' who were 'hot indie bros'

She lied a lot
Pretended she had cancer and was gonna die
Just so people would 'feel sad for her'
Stole money, credit cards, checks, and cell phones from bros who 'got to put their penis inside of her vagina'
She sexted them and was aggressive
Understanding what a bro truly needs
which is the security of knowing that a girl wants to 'be fucked'

Was the kind of person who creepily 'really wanted 2 hang out with u'
and actually followed through and called u 100 times
Think she would have benefited from 'the dorm environment'
at a small Liberal Arts College
instead of sending aggressive sexts to bros all the time

Meme via A.L. Feri Photography

I actually knew her while I was living in Brooklyn
We met each other at McCarren Pool
I was wearing Old Navy board shorts
and she came up to me and told me
'I want to pull ur penis out through ur short-hole
and give u a blow and a tug'

I was immediately turned on because that was back when my 'Yellow Fever'
was at its absolute worst
I also saw that she had 'a rowdy chest tattoo' and I immediately got
erotic visions of 'cumming on that shit'

AltCum target via Gawker

We went back to my place and we watched a popular French New Wave indie classic film
I was impressed by her career and her knowledge of everything relevant
Eventually she 'had sex with me' - 2fast & 2furiously
The bed was making the sound of the sample in the popular song "Paper Planes"
But it was the kind of thing where I 'lost interest in having sex with her'
because it was the 'sad' kind of dirty sex
where u feel like a girl is 'down to do anything'
because she is 'all sad on the inside'
and feels like the only way she knows how to 'feel good about herself'
is when there is 'some bro's cock inside of her'
I am a meaningful bro and 'don't want to be just another bro'

So my peen went limp
And I took her out for a meal
and reassured her that I 'wanted a real, emotional relationship' with her
and then she told me she was dying of cancer
and I felt bad because I had never experienced sex with some1 who was terminally ill
and thought 'damn, maybe terminally ill ppl are really just DOWN2FUCK like krayzee'

She asked me for a blank check
and I gave it to her, but it didn't matter because I have a trust fund
and she only took $2000 from me
Think that means she 'loved' me because she didn't steal $5K+

Srsly hope she's not sick, though
Would feel 'pretty bad'
and might even consider marrying her
so that she can have my bad ass health insurance [via $15 co-pay]

I miss her
I think I could have changed her
and reconciled all of her debt
and turned her into the free-spirited mom with a meaningful life in the city
that she always wanted.
I would have gotten a matching chest tatty
and we would put the same chest tatty on each of our children
as soon as they exited the womb.

Not sure if this is an 'authentic sad story'
or just some girl who wanted 'to be internet famous'
or possibly 'some sort of hoax' by an AZN graduate art student

If I were this AZN, I would 'turn myself in'
and write a movie script about my meaningful life
and how I was 'just a misunderstood alt from rural Utah/suburbia'
Demand to be played by Karen O/the Juno Girl/Margaret Cho/Sandra Oh/the AZN in Rushmore

She was already in a successful viral video. Think that means u can 'make it' in Hollywood/Bollywood [via Slumdog]. Sort of wish I worked for the Salt Lake City police so I could put my film degree to use by putting together this type of video media. Feel like I would really be helping the world.

I think every1 has 'socially puzzling' people enter their lives' at least once every 2 year. Like the kind who 'steals ur friends laptop' or 'mysteriously enters/leaves town one day.' The kind of person who feels 'really happy' when they are 'social climbing' and u don't rlly 'understand WHY' they seem s0 sad/alone. Fortunately, these types of people are only around for 1-3 months. U just have to be sure not to a) have sex with them b) make them dependent on u for things like 'fun', 'meeting new people', 'transportation services', or 'drugs.' They sort of just 'fade out of ur life' when they realize that u 'don't find them interesting as a person'/they can't 'steal/leech n e thing from u.' U just have to be brave enough not to return their 5th text.

BE CAREFUL YALL. srsly. so many ppl out there with bad intentions. just hang out on the internet all day 2 keep urself safe. do no give out ur credit card info unless u r buying a kewl t-shirt or shoes or something.

Do u 'feel sad' for the AZN? or does she sound 'too good to be true'?
Do u think she is 'hot'? Do u think she is 'a disgusting person'?
Do u think she will forever change the AZN stereotype?
Do u think she is going to 'go to jail'?
Or will some Alternative Video startup give her a 'show' on their website, like 'Kewl New Bands (with the HIPSTER GRIFTER): Live from the Girl Talk Concert'? Glad that we are guaranteed a 'where are they now...?' post about her in 1.36 years.
Hope she is okay...

Feel sad abt ppl who 'value' stuff that I 'take 4 granted' like social awareness, money, semi-healthy relationships with friends who aren't too krazie, and general social acceptance.

miss u Grifty
(Does n e 1 know what 'grifter' means?)
Please leave ur real/fake story about how u knew her in the comments.

This has a blog post about the popular meme The Hipster Grifter, also known by her human name Kari Ferrell. She is allegedly related to popular standup comedian Will Ferrell.

h8 days
where society's laws are imposed on every1
they say that they take our tax money 2 'make our world better'
but feel 'sad and angry' that they 'waste our money'
on shit that's neither 'functional' nor 'bad ass'

Might need to impeach our President
if he doesn't 'get shit together'
and fix the roads in my local subdivision
or 'start using money more smarter'

Don't think taxes are fair
especially for the poors and coloureds
who don't even know how to add
nor did they advance to a level of math
that required a graphing calculator

Not even sure what 'money' is
I understand goods and services have 'value'
but I'm not sure 'money' is the best way 2 monetize our society
think maybe we should use more 'banner ads' [via dennys/am appy/shoe company]
or perhaps create a startup that specializes in human trade/slavery/iPhone apps

Sort of just wish the govt would buy every1 a laptop
provide free buffet-style meals for us
and let us chill on the internet all day
making memes, and spending less time building
infrastructure in real life
and start forging our reality around 'cyberspace'

Worried about issues like
childhood obesity
and obese teens making viral videos
then washing down their bad food with Schmirnoff Ice (aka 'pussy water')

Whenever I have a problem
I feel like my 'tax dollars' should be used 2 fix it
Sad that my parents got divorced
Sad that they were in a tax bracket that 'fucked them over'
and meant I couldn't go to design school in The City
because they didn't give me enough financial aid disguised as 'grants'
Maybe if I wasn't such a 'little ass hole tween', they would have stayed 2gether
Made them take me to get a Macbook on December 26th after I didn't get 1 on Christmas
and locked myself in the bathroom for 14 hrs.

I guess it's true...
the only guarantees in life
are death, taxes,
bros letting u down
parents getting divorced
signing up for a new social network every 2.3 years
and getting fat [via pizza rolls]

This is a post about h8ing Barack Obama and his failed regime.
What would yall do to fix society/ the 'taxation' system?
Do yall 'believe in money' or think we should have a new currency? What would yall call it?

Are we human... or are we meme?

Are we human... or are we meme?

Are we human... or are we meme?

Photos via Pedestrian

Are we human... or are we meme? Or are we humans who get pregnant with octuplets who turn into memes....or are we memes who create octomemes which eventually turn ur life into a highly followable lifestream of memes?

All I want is 2 b more than just 'internet famous'
I want 2 get the same level of attention as Angelina Jolie
I want 2 do whatever it takes to have as many eyes/followers as possible
I want to transform from human to meme
I want my children to experience their entire lives' as memes
detached from the pain of being human after all

More gimmick memes by Desiree Palmen 'after the jump'

Sometimes I see a picture of a bro which has 'gone viral' on the internet, or a picture that is 'inherently funnie' to some1 with a 'morbid/sardonic sense of humor.' Then I wonder if I am trivializing their existence. Or if they have some sort of physical deficiency, I might be exploiting their flawed existence (according 2 me) on my lifestreamweblog to 'make people laugh' with me 'at some one who hasn't been as fortunate as me.'

This bro is battling morbid obesity. This battle might 'just be a meme', at least to 90% of the readers of this blog. However, the other 10% are probably 'arm chair commentators' who feel like the fact that this meme exists is 'wrong.' The meme exists--there is no right or wrong when something is 'going viral' in the memesphere. Even if the viral rate is not high, some memes can be 'timeless' and trickle down to the furthest reaches of the meme sharing universe.

It's just kinda weird how my life is important to 'me,' but to other people, it might just be a meme.
Searching for a way to live my life authentically without making things seem 'like I am trying too hard to be a bloggable meme' aka 'some ass hole who just wants attention.'

These are memes that comment on the fatbro meme, creating a memecosystem.


[Via Human After Yall]

Sometimes humans who turned into memes are kinda sad, but then I just 'lol' at them and find another meme to absorb into my stream of consciousness.

(WTF is a meme?)