HIPSTER RUNOFF » I Wish They Had Macbooks when I was a tween

I want to go back in time and get a teen pregnant then become youtube famous.

Carles — Fri, 08 May 2009 22:56:57 +0000

via wtfdyhak

I want to be a teen again
and make love
to a girl in my Speech class
accidentally ‘get her pregnant.’

Her belly will swell with life
that came from my teenage semen
too late to pull up
but experiencing xtreme pleasure

She will eventually have to go to a high school for pregnant teens
and make friend with other people who are in her situation
we will say that ‘this was a gift from God’
and name our child something Biblical

Before the baby comes out of her vagina,
we shall use my digital camera to film a few videos
that people can relate 2
and they can know that ‘we are human’
even though we did something unconventional
by having a babie so earlie.

We have a story to share
We can still laugh
We can still dance like no1 is watching
We can birth like we’ve never been hurt.

This is what it means to be young and beautiful.
It is a state of mind.
We will become youtube famous and get 100,000 subscribers
and make ‘mad ad revenue’ by ‘going viral’

My water breaks
rush to the hospital with my 19 year old boyfriend
and my mom
holding my hand as the baby pops out
She looks at me, pretty ashamed
She looks at my boyfriend, pretty resentful
Worried about the financial burden
that she didn’t really ’sign up for’

There is no such thing as a mistake.
We are all gifts from God.

I read in a book that babies come out ‘intelligent’
if they listen 2 music while in the womb.
not sure if u can still ‘partie’
when ur preggos

Might stay home and prank call 2nite

Carles — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 23:57:27 +0000

Don’t feel like going out. Might just hang out with my BFF, and get our prank call on. Will probably call local businesses who probably have ‘fucking losers’ working at them, or maybe the homes of people who ’sound like they are a dumb minority who will actually stay on the phone.’

Wish they had speaker phone when I was a tween.
Wish they had zany soundboards when I was a tween.
Wish they had vlog technology when I was a tween.
Wish they had Napoleon Dynamites when I was a tween.
Wish they had hooded-sweatshirt technology when I was a tween.
Wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween.

sad/jealous about my youth fading. Feeling ‘mortal.’ Don’t want 2 be human after all. Want something more. Feel sad about ‘being so aware.’ Want to enjoy simple stuff, and ‘laugh’ and ‘other simple joyous stuff.’

do yall know if ur number shows up when u press *67 before dialing?
Worried that my parents will find out if I use ‘the main line’, but will have to wait until after 9 to use my ‘free minutes.’

I wish there more ways to sexually pressure my girlfriend as a tween. :-(

Carles — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:42:51 +0000

I wish they had cell phones/text messages/digital cameras when I was a teen/tween.
I wish my girlfriend had parents whose parents weren’t around often, and didn’t really ‘keep her in line.’
I wish I could have pressured her into sending me naked and/or sexually suggestive pix from her camera phone.
I wish I could have lost my virginity at an absurdly young age.
I wish I could have learned that women were ‘objects that make u cum’ during my formative sexual years.
I wish I had an unlimited text and data plan as a kid.
I wish I had a girlfriend who had a webcam who would ‘get naked’ when I was a tween.
I wish I had invented the term ‘jk’ kinda like how Donald Trump invented the term ‘you’re fired, yall!’

I wish I could be a tween again
an idea of sex that was so pure, innocent and raw
hard penis and wet vaginas
Ready to make a mistake
that we might not have been emotionally ready for
in the name of ‘love’
back before people grew up and their feelings
because ’so real’ and ‘crushable’

Want to pressure my tweenage girlfriend
into sending me a picture of her still-developing B-cups
Forward that text to my bro
who betrays me
and my GF’s titties end up
all over the skewl
having ‘gone viral’ in a limited environment

While her ‘image’ kinda took a hit
It also made her seem like a sexier slut
who was ‘down to fuck’
and ultimately made her more popular
kinda like how sex tapes
boosted the careers of Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and the guy who played Screech

If I could be a tween again
I would do a lot of things differently
cuz of all the bad ass technology.

Previous wishing I could be a tween again
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/i-wish-they-had-macbooks-when-i-was-a-tween-new-hro-gimmick.html

I wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween so I could create borderline pornographic content with my bff

Carles — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 22:07:41 +0000

I wish I could be a tween again
Filled with spirit, a love for modern music,
a will to joy, and a desire to dance like no1 is watching

Record my dances on my Macbook
to upload videos to youtube
so that I can dance like some1 is watching.

Late night on youtube
spent in an endless vortex of RELATED VIDEOS
until I stumble upon ™ tweens
who are dancing to a rap song
that is not very serious
but still very catchy and popular
because it is so approachable

Alone in my room on the internet
I look behind me
to ensure that Chris Hansen
from MSNBC’s To Catch a Predator
is not behind me
watching me watch these tweens
dance like no1 is watching

I wish I could be a tween again
and have fun with my bff
and record a video
dance around my pink room
is my lounge wear
that is comfy/sporty–yet ’sexie’

I learned these dance moves
from watching television/rap videos on youtube
I kind of do them ironically
but there is something within me that wants to be sexy
(I don’t know if I realize this yet)

I’m not a tween
Not yet a teen
Not yet a woman

This is a related video.

Borderline Porn [via youtube]: big in 2k9?
Child Predding without the glasses–big in 2k10?
Getting lost in mazes of RELATED VIDEOS: the story of ur internet life?
Do u wish u had a Macbook when u were a tween?
Do u think these tweens are keuter than the previous showcased tweens?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/i-wish-they-had-macbooks-when-i-was-a-tween-new-hro-gimmick.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/i-wish-they-had-macbooks-when-i-was-a-tween-and-my-parents-took-me-on-road-trips-with-my-bff.html

R yall gonna buy ur daughter a macbook for her 12th Birthday?

Youtube is a Place for Authentic Self-Expression

Carles — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 01:15:15 +0000

2k9 will be all about PurgatoryAlts: Those Alts whose personal brands are stuck in social purgatory because they do not have the self-awareness nor global awareness to transcend a mainstream perspective on the world. (Mainstream perspective = believing that there is an opportunity 2 find meaning [via material things & a lil bit of over-valued self-expression].
Purgatory alts make u wonder why they exist, but purgatory alts are unable to ponder, “Why do I exist?”

[Note:FlamingTacoBroad removed the video and went on a mini=rampage in the cmmnts section.]
I wish they had Macbooks/USB webcams for Windows PCs when I was a child/tween/teen/18+ year old who is not capable of growing up.
I could express the inner ‘me’ that I have never been able to ‘get out there.’
When I was younger, I was a bit overwhelmed by the world, I believed that inside of me was a craziness, silliness, and creativeness that no one else understood.
I felt alone in the world, with only a predictable range of clothes available for me 2 express myself.
It I had a platform with which to connect with other people, my entire life could have gone differently.
If I had access to an arsenal of free-spirited fonts, instead of just my sillie handwriting, I could have been an entirely different person.

If I had a Macbook
when I was a tween
I could have believed
in something
meaningful
(I could have believed
in myself)

I wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween and my parents took me on road trips with my BFF

Carles — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 04:15:34 +0000

I wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween.
I wish my parents had an aggregate income of over $250K/year.
I wish I could express myself around my parents.
I wish I had a swarm of subscribers who I could shout out.
I wish my parents could afford braces 4 me.
I wish my parents bought me an iPhone/game Gear/iPod Shuffle.
I wish I had a spacious luxury SUV with a leather interior.
I wish I had wifi all over the world/domestic United States.
I wish my tweenhood went a lot differently.

I wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween. If I could have expressed myself with modern tools of technology, I would be an entirely different person today.

The world is 1 year older. And I want to know ‘WHY?’
Why did I become alt?
Is ‘alt’ a choice, or was I born with ‘alt’ inside of me? (kinda like homosexuals/fggts/gheys).
Are these things that I did not have as a tween the reason why I needed to construct a new value system based upon strict post-consumerist ideals?
Are ‘alts’ who are rebelling against their privileged life ever going to find the authenticity that they are seeking?
Would ‘entry level alts’ and ‘Mexicalts’ exist without the concept of credit?

I want to know why.
I want to know why there weren’t Macbooks when I was a tween.
I want to know what I would have been if my tweenhood had gone differently.

//They // only // want // u // when // ur // seventween. ///
When ur // thirty-one // ur // not // keut.

I want to be a better alternative son.

Carles — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 00:49:54 +0000

I want to be a better alternative son.
I want to let my family know who I am.
I want them to know what I find meaningful.
I want them to understand what I find humorous.
I will take the time to explain myself and my interests to them.
I will invite them to participate in team-building activities which will bring us closer together.
These activities will include making meaningful vlogs, starting a tumblr together, and actively commenting on one another’s flickr photos.
We will take ‘myspace style’ photos together with our faces smashed against one another [via a high angle].
My family will ‘get’ me. For Christmas, I will not have to give them anything, because I am a pleasure to be around all year.
I am a gift.
I will go to church with my family even thought I don’t believe in G-d.
I will eloquently express my opinions on issues which might differ from their opinions.
One day, I will take my alternative family to an alternative event, such as a music festival. They will see the world that I see. They will see that their son has found the best way of life. They will be proud of me. They will also be a little bit jealous of me.

I wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween [New HRO Gimmick]

Carles — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 01:45:30 +0000

I am beta testing a new HRO gimmick where I find pieces of progressive media made by real tweens which inspire me to feel a little bit jeal of the fact that I didn’t have a Macbook when I was a tween. I can only look back and think about the person who I could have been with features and programs like iSight, iMovie, Photobooth, ComicLife, Adobe Photoshop, and even Safari.

If only my parents had waited _ more years 2 have me, then I would have had the tools to express myself at an earlier age, enabling me to take 6.5 years off my quest for meaning.

want 2 relive my tweenhood s00 bad

want 2 have modern tools of expression that r built for even the youngest ppl on Earth.

Do u want 2 relive ur tweenolescence?
Would a 2nd chance at tweenhood make u more authentic 2day?
Do u have ‘regretz’?