HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photo by Yvan Rodic

I am the ice cream bro
with ice cream on my shoulders
hungry 4 sweet, frozen, creamy treats

I am not the man
driving a truck thru the poor part of town
selling ice treats to children
I am the modern ice cream man.

Still want to be as approachable as the mainstream ice cream man
might attach a boombox to my wardrobe
and play inviting music
letting people know
the Ice Cream Bro is coming

Ice cream. So many flavors.

Kinda represents how many different personal brands u can have.
Every1 has a different favourite flavor of ice cream.
No1 wants to be 'plain vanilla.'

So weird how u can make a metaphor about n e 1 with ice cream.
White people = vanilla
Black People = Rocky Road
AZNs = Ramen
Mexicans = bean and cheese
Gheys = rainbow sherbert
Jews = Latke ice cream
_________ = ____________

some people like ice cream
some people like froyo
also known as frozen yogurt

wonder if when i grow past my ice cream phase
then get 'health conscious'
if I will talk myself into being Froyo Bro

Might even start a self-serve frozen yogurt chain

encouraging people
to get crazy serving sizes
with even crazier topping selections

capn crunch
molten chocolate
oreos
reese's pb cups
fresh fruit
weird azn shit
human hair

might just buy a trusted froyo franchise like Pink Berry

might just buy a Baskin Robbins franchise

So many flaves

so many choices
so many ppl in this world

maybe ice cream
is what will set us free
cuz it represents
how we are all our unique flavor
unless ur into froyo
then u can just pour ur own cup
and add ur own custom toppings

Laters,
Ice Cream Bro

Will ice cream shoulder pads be the hot new summer look?
What is more authentic: ice cream or frozen yogurt?
What toppings do u get on ur froyo?

Ever since I was an entry level hypemachine mp3 blog, I wanted to 'make it' and look like 'a real' website that was 'an authentic content source' for 'tastemaking audiences' and miscellaneous 'trendsetters.'

Guess what I'm trying 2 say is that I wanted to get American Appy ads on my site. Having American Apparel banners mean that 'u have arrived.' U r 'real', 'valuable' and 'relevant.'
So I did that, and I'm feelin kind of empty. Now that my site is 'branded' as being 'legitimate' according 2 the casual internet viewer, I want more.

I'm bummed out.
I read that Am Appy is starting to run nude ads on select websites.

I know yall probably think I should chill out. But I just want a nip or two on my website. I just want a few alt breasts to be peeping out at my readers saying, 'hey yall. come and buy some of our stuff, yall!'

I might just put some smut videos up on my sidebars to make HRO//NSFW.
Should I ban nudity on HRO?

Should I ban Ben & Jerry's on my weblog?

[Photo by lastnightsparty]

BUT SRSLY//
Are a pair of titties gonna make yall more likely 2 buy something?
When u see breasts aligning with a brand, does it make u want to cum with/on the brand and the pair of sweet, sweet juggs?
Do u still want 2 be an Am Appy model?

American Apparel

Company

Lists: Californians

Read more>>>>

[Street clash]
Summer is here. Have you purchased your summer accessories? Some people think headbands, sunglasses, and 'stuff that looks like u r going to a pool' are in, but edible accessories will probably be big in 2k8.5 (summer edition).

But seriously, which summer ice cream product r u going to pick?
Drumsticks are a little bit alt, but still pretty mainstream. Plus the choco part at the bottom is s00 eww!

Don't get caught with an ice cream sandy this summer. Also, don't tug n e 1 off after eating 1. It's almost as bad as a post-Cheeto tugjob.

Hopefully tubs of ice cream on ur head replaces RCRD hats

Most of the time, generic popsicles will make u look like a slutttt. Be careful with people who get their photos taken with generic popsicles/lollipos

Is it cool to eat Mickey D's products?

Or is Wendy's alt-er than McDonalds? What's the deal with Vanilla Frosties?

Push (Up) Pops are engineered so mastercraft-fully. The same AZN who designed the Toyota Prius invented the PushUp Pop.

Is it going to be cool to be healthy & organic, and just eat fruit? Nobody lives forever, yall. Take care of yalls selves.

Should I invest in pool gear? Is pool gear the new 'street gear'?
Will these floaties keep me from drowning in a Steve Aoki Grey Goose Bath?

Should I post-post-ironically purchase a pool basketball hoop and start following the WNBA?

Should I contact my landlord about getting an above-ground pool added on to my 2 Bedroom apartment? Can I be pissed at my r00mie if he doesn't want to go halfsies?

But srsly...What would u do for a Klondike bar?

Would u listen to a Girl Talk album?
Would u date a Teenager for 9+ months?
Would u have a child with Bjork?
Would u kidnap an alt-celeb's newborn child?
Would u throw your Macbook into a swimming pool?
Would u start a blog about life and alternative teen issues?
Would you make a 'Stress' parody video with a group of your closest bros?
Would u make a documentary about ur life and how u r always searching for parties?
Would u fall in love for a night with a blipster/azn/islander/mexi?
Would u participate in a lifelong internship/slavery for a popular alternative entity/publication/rcrdlbl/party pix site/t-shirt maker/lifestyle brand?