[MP3]
Beach House Norway

Analysis of the Cultural and Critical Impact of this Song:
This mp3 is the ‘beginning/launching point/kickoff’ of the 2k10 music season. The first step on an annual cycle to attempt to understand ‘who is the best/most culturally relevant/buzzworthy/meme-able’ band of the year. It is this cycle which gives the blogosphere purpose, giving us a reason to live/evaluate/judge even though ‘time’ is irrelevant on the internet.

Beach House’s PR/marketing team should be commended for setting the tone for 2k10. In the post-chillwave era, we will be looking for meaningful music that has substance–lyrically, emotionally, musically. No more ‘going to the beach and chilling’ music by bands who we will never hear from again. 2k10 will be all about people ‘overcompensating’ and ‘wanting a full album experience’ after spending the last 2-4 years scavenging for mp3s in the hypemachine world. Wonder if the XX will be cited as the end of chillwave since their album was so meaningful/vulns.

2k10 will feature releases by the established tier 1 bands such as Arcade Fire, Panda Bear, MGMT, Of Montreal, and Vampire Weekend. It seems like Beach House is on tier 2 of the indie band power chart, with a ‘beloved’ 1st and second album. I think the Beach House Theory of 2k10 would predict that Beach House is ‘the front runner’ for 2k10’s album of the year because of the criticism-sphere’s desire to ‘anoint’ a band that they ‘created.’ It seems ‘too predictable/boring’ for most web outlets to continue to gush over the same bands over and over, unless they are AnCo/PandyBear. We love to ‘watch a band grow’ into ‘artists who can put together a complete album.’ We will reward them for their efforts, and their willingness to share with us. If they are good to us during their buzzband phase and don’t do anything too inauthentic/gimmicky, then ‘deliver’ on a second album that demonstrates progress, we will ensure that by their third album, we will grant them Alternative Tenure–our gift to them which includes ‘guaranteed coverage’ of releases/tour dates/miscellaneous tidbits, minimal negative/attacking coverage of your brand, and the promise to band that our website will link to the website that is selling their album for years to come.

Wondering if a major label/marketing team will see the appeal of Beach House, and attempt to turn her/them into Feist 2.0 + bro who plays guitar and has an interesting drum machine in a suitcase. Wonder if this post-TingTings era will ‘embrace’ them. Seems like they wouldn’t have a poppy/ghey girly song on this album, so their chances of ‘crossoverability’ are diminished. Dark tones/vulnerability will keep their appeal strong within the indiebrocriticismsphere during 2k10.

If u had 2 bet ur entire bank account, who would yall ‘bet on’ as album of the year creator in 2k10? Do u buy the theory that critics need 2 ‘pick something new 2 seem fresh’, or will they just have predictable favourites that demonstrate their unwillingness to move forward into our modern era. Is Ratatat the ‘wild card’ in the 2k10 album of the year race?

/////////

missing u.

Srsly tho… do yall feel like Ed Droste’s twitter suicide is the indie equivalent of Heath Ledger’s murder/suicide, Michael Jackson’s death, or Miley Cyrus’ internet suicide?

However, WashedOutBro is ‘chilling’ on his honeymoon with his wife. He is only accessible to the woman that he loves.

I wonder if ‘having a wife/serious GF’ makes you a better artist. Like you can focus on your craft, instead of seeking out rewards [via tugjobs] from entry-level alt fan girls at every stop on your North American tour. I feel like we could call this theory the AnCo Relationship Theory. All three members of Animal Collective are in ’serious relationships/marriages’ (some with kids). It seems like they have only become ‘mad relevant/successful’ since they have found people who probably give them the space and support system that they need to be ‘artists.’

It’s kinda weird how Washed Out ‘gave up on alt celeb perks’ before his touring/entire career had even taken off. Do u think he will begin 2 regret ‘what could have been’, or will he be happy with his decision since it will allow him to ‘truly chill’ for the rest of his life?

Maybe the chillwave genre is more about ‘moving forward with family values’ as opposed to ‘escapism’ [via chilling]. Maybe chillwave is more about ‘chilling with a wife’ as opposed to ‘chilling with a group of bros.’ Maybe chillwave will help the former altbros of electro begin to transition into adult life.

What would do if u were in a budding hype-band? Would u ‘use it to get alternative sex’? Would u try to marry some1 who ‘knew u before u were an alt celeb’? Would u try to marry some1 who ‘only loved u because of ur status as an alt celeb’? Were Ben Gibbard + Zooey Deschanel married for ‘public relations/marketing’ purposes?

When u become a buzzband, so many ppl who u don’t know ‘want something from u.’ Maybe u just need some1 who wants/likes/loves u for u, even if you weren’t a buzzworthy, monetizable artist.

See unwatermarked photo here.

(wonder how much pitchfork paid for these exclusive wedding photos. wonder when an alternative website will pay for baby photos. Can’t believe the alt blogosphere has entered the paying for wedding/baby photo meme era.)

Wondering if Panda Bear ‘invented’ chillwave back before we even knew it…

[MP3]
Panda Bear Untitled (eventually AnCo’s Guy’s Eyes)

I really want to do just what my body wants to
I really want to do just what my body needs to
I really want to show to my girl that I want her (and I do)
I really want to show to my girl that I need her (and I do)
If I could just hold all the thoughts in my head and just keep them for you
If I could just purge all the urges that I have and keep them for you
I really want to show to my girl that I need her
I keep it locked right now

Need her
-Panda Bear/Animal Collective

//////feeling it all around
////maybe being alt famous/artistically relevant is not a gateway to a meaningful/sex-filled life…
////maybe u need to ’shack up’ with some1 before u r ’successful.’
////LoVe iS a HiGhWaY

I will make a list of potential ‘Best’ Artists/song writers/album makers/meme generators of 2k9, and evaluate the evaluation process of each product.

/////WHAT WILL BE THE BEST ALBUM/MP3/SONG OF 2K9?
Animal Collective - I feel like websites that select AnCo as their #1 album will end up doing the usual AnCo ‘Journalism’, which addresses ‘the hype bubble’ on the internet, but then switches to a ’serious tone’ that refocuses on the ‘brilliance/textures/genius’ of the album. It seems like this is a ’safe pick’ which will keep your readers happy, and feeling relevant. Possibly ‘too boring’ of a selection for some readers, but also possibly ‘the correct decision.’

Grizzly Bear – It seems like their album Veckytemmy was ‘very well received’, but people only really learned 2 evaluate them in comparison to AnCo.  Maybe this is more indicative of the flaws in the US Educational System, not really teaching kids how to evaluate and analyze products for ‘what they are.’ Instead, we can only ‘compare’ stuff/events/people/places/nouns/ideas to ‘what already exists.’ It might be a ’somewhat controversial’ selection to put them at #1, but also possibly ‘bold’, like u could really ‘get ur music journalism on’ in an impassioned blog/blurb. The product seems transcendental of eras, so it might be the sort of album that does better on a ‘best of decade’ list, as opposed to a ‘best of year’ list (This does/does not make sense).

Atlas Sound - I feel like I ‘enjoyed’ this band/album, but wonder if it was ‘overrated.’  Feels like it followed the model of having 2.5 ‘obviously good songs’, then sorta just existing in positive chillspace for the rest of time, with a few ‘kewl sounding parts.’  Possibly music that appeals to college students who need some ambient shit 2 study 2, then they have a ‘positive memory’ of the album, since it helped them get a B+, even though they ‘only studied the night before.’ It still seems ‘very good’, but feel like we are possibly entering an era where most semi-conceptual artists can poop out this kind of album every 6 months.  Feel relieved that Panda Bear ‘takes his time’ on his personal albums.  Really preserves his brand. I feel like another positive blurbing tool when blogging about Atlas Sound, is that u can say something like ‘Georgia-based frontman Bradford Cox is also the mastermind behind indie rock band Deerhunter’, or a similar sentence.

Neon Indian - It’s kinda weird how u can have a ‘good band’/'good song’/'good album’, but not every product is worth paying attention to, or convincing people that it is ‘worth their time’ to say that they are a ‘fan.’  Now that Neon Indian has reached the point where ‘every1′ likes them and ‘knows about them’, they could enter a backlash phase where their original fans [via blogCulture] are reluctant to ‘commit to them’ as a band that they will cover for the next 5-20 years.  It’s always scary to commit urself to a band that was once only ‘buzzworthy’, and say ‘I am looking forward to looking forward to this band in the future’ and ‘I will consider overhyping their next album.’ I don’t think Neon Indian really ‘resonates’ enough with music criticism aged bros, but will do well in emerging consumer demographics (so u can’t really leave them out of ur top 10).

VEGA - I wonder if electro bros would select Vega as ‘electro’s last hope’, or if critics would rather just ‘focus on Neon Indian’ since that aesthetic is ‘way cooler/coverable’ now. Seems like it would be ‘kewl’ to say ‘Yeah, I liked Vega before Neon Indian’ in 2-4 years when Neon Indian has to go into conceptual hibernation.

Passion Pit - I wonder if we ‘expect greatness’ from this band, of if they are they have an existence where they aren’t really ‘expected to be great’, but we ‘know what we get from them.’ Seems like they might be the new type of festival band that can sort of just chill indefinitely as long as their music stays positive/poppy and they don’t get too ‘dark.’ Feels like they are a band who ‘u got 2 see for free’ and then u ‘became a big fan of theirs.’

The Very Best - Don’t really want to cover/think about the type of people who ‘love’ this band/album/mp3.

Here We Go Magic – I feel like these bros were probably ‘the best’ of the conceptual-core flareup of mid-2k9, and people might select them as a ‘hey… remember this was kinda good’ way (not as #1).

Washed Out - possibly ‘too chill’ to feel like a ‘historical selection’ to listmaking music bros, but could be ‘very definitive’ based on your perception of what happened this year.

Girls – If I owned a major publication in San Fransisco, I would require my Indie Journalism writers to make Girls the #1 artist of the year, in order to make it seem like San Fransisco’s scene was hella important. I feel like Girls are sorta like ‘chill out music’ for those Gen X alts who like garage rock. It seems like it might be ‘cool’ to know about them, but I don’t know if your readers will value your list if you pick them #1, unless they are over-40 and looking for something ‘cool, but not isolating.’ I think they ‘look like a band’ to it might be sweet to have a picture of them on your blogpost/article.

The XX - Selecting the XX as the #1 ______ of the year would be very bold. The band hovers on the ‘fringes’ of ‘indie greatness’, but it is probably a more logical decision to ‘hype them’, encourage people to consider them a ‘band 2 watch’, then ‘gush’ over their future releases, whether or not they are as good as/better than their debut. They physically ‘look like’ a relevant band, and their music is also easy to explain/’gush’ about in a generic indieblurb way so those are huge pluses for your blog/magazine layout. Wonder if any indie debut could ever be considered ‘album of the year’, or if indie websites have an established hierarchy/progression of buzz that no band will be able to shatter.  How long does it take for a band to ‘change the aesthetic of relevancy’?  (How long has AnCo been a band?)

Yacht – Seems like this album really went ‘in one ear and out the other.’ Probably ’sounded kewl’ or something, but seems ’shameful’ to select as a seminal album of 2k9.

Dirty Projectors - I feel like the people who select the Dirt Projjies as #1 probably ‘believe in their decision’ the most. They think that there is a ‘right answer’ to “Who is the Best _____ of 2k9?” and they are the only bros to truly understand the criteria and have the critical thinking skills to come to this decision. But it seems like it is ‘easier to enjoy’ AnCo than it is to enjoy the Dirt Projjies, so you don’t want people 2 h8 ur alt website/magazine if they buy the album, and it is just these people ‘wailing’ over complex guitar stuff. It still seems plausible to describe/pan the DirProjjies as ‘a Jack Johnson-sounding bro with broads wailing in the background.’

Phoenix - ‘I really want to remember 2k9 as being a peppy, poppy time.’ I feel like this is a ‘feel good’ album to put into your top 10, like you want people to say ‘oh ya… that was a lil fun… totes love phx… great pop music.’ Probably something that female blogger would put at #1, but most male music journalism bros ‘need to seem like they are yearning 4 more’ than what Phoenix gives them.

St Vincent - I am not sure if her latest album was really ‘that identifiable’ to men or women. It seems like if it was, she would have ended up with a Feist-like existence, since she is potentially younger and more attractive than Feist. I am proud of Feist for becoming the ‘gold standard’ for indie female artists.

Fever Ray - I feel like this product is ‘too dark’ to ever be an ‘album of the year.’ No1 wants to select a gothy product as being ‘definitive’ of an entire year/era. It seems like society approves of ‘escapist’ art, but doesn’t want stuff that sounds ‘too dark.’

Bat for Lashes - Never really listened, but seems like it would be ‘acceptable’ to be the lone female in your year-end list. If you have a top 10, it seems healthy to have no more than 2 female singers/artists, since the majority of your readers are men.

Wavves – The Wavves Bro might have been the ‘human meme’ of the year in terms of the zany headlines that he generated 4 the altosphere. Hope he ‘keeps it up’ in 2k10. His music is also ‘theoretically memorable’, but I think his genre is not really era-defining. It sorta just will ‘exist forever.’

The “Dark Was the Night” compilation - Think that this was a ‘big deal’ and ‘for a good cause’ or something. I feel like it might be worth mentioning again if you feel like ’seeming like a good person’ based on the brand of your website/magazine. This probably appeals to people over the age of 28. ‘Know ur audience’ -music journalism editors when coming up with their lists

The Big Pink/Florence and the Machine - I am not really sure who these bands are, but it seems like something a UK publication would select. Seems like those bros always ‘try to take credit’ for top American artists, but also ‘hype up their own shitty bands/comedians’etc. Wish we could set up some sort of artistic trading guidelines with them. Wonder if the Spice Girls/The Office were ‘good imports.’ Worried about Amy Winehouses, etc.

Julian Casablancas - Wonder if bros who pick this solo-debut to ‘define 2k9′ are the kind of bros who ‘are too impatient’ to wait to excessively value the next Strokes album.

Kings of Leon - Can’t believe they are ’s0 mainstream’ now. Wonder if it would be ‘cutting-edge’ to write some indie journalism about ‘why we should still appreciate them’, or if u should just pretend they don’t exist n e more [via Nickelback].

Lady Gaga - It seems like it might be trendy/cutting edge to select her as an ‘artist of the year’ if you had an altWEbsite, then talk about her art/concept/ability to create pop Art, or something.

///////////
/////////Did I miss n e 1?
/////////////////

Can’t believe 2k9 is done. U were a good year, 2k9. U did ur best.

What/who do u think should be remembered as ‘the Most 2k9′ album/song/mp3 of 2k9?
R u gonna miss 2k9? Will 2k10 be any better or any worse?
What is the ‘most likely’ artist to be pitchforked to the #1 spot?
What is the ‘boldest’ album of the Year selection?
What is the ‘fucking obvious’ album of the Year selection?
Are ‘lists’ the future of music journalism since they get ’so many eye balls’/it is easier for normal readers to ‘catch up’ with new music on an annual basis?

A key element of the chillwave era was that the members of your band/project were required to be unknown/from an obscure place. Sorta weird how these bands consisting of ‘Jim Nobody from Nowhereville USA’ are now becoming ‘must-see’ acts on ‘the festival circuit’, etc. Sorta feel pressured to see them before ‘too many people know about them.’ I honestly feel like the first time I see a blogbuzz band live will be the last time I see them. I guess the Arcade Fire was right when they said, “Funeral.”

These are the three ‘largest’ chillwave artists, and an analysis of their live performances.

Live Performance: Washed Out (A much ‘hyped’ CMJ debut in NYC).

As you can see, WASHED OUT bro went with a ‘1 man band behind a Macbook’ setup, utilizing some ’sweet visuals’, and also doing some live singing. It seems to be a good representation of the music, but how can Washed Out convert his show into a ‘touring machine.’ Maybe he could ‘only play concerts in water parks [via wave pools] or something. I am not sure if WashedOutBro will have enough money to purchase a ‘daft punk pyramid.’ Maybe he could rent it while Daft Punk is not touring.

I sorta wish all bands had some sort of megastructure, similar to the Daft Punk Pyramid. It seems like concerts might be more exciting that way.

Photo via rez avissar

I have heard live reviews calling Ernest Greene ‘very attractive.’ It seems like he has the opportunity to brand himself as ‘one of the most handsome men in indie music’, sort of attracting tons of females to his shows, and building up alternative resentment [via untalented/angsty altbros]. Ultimately, this model was ‘very successful’ for Panda Bear’s live show. I think Washed out should ‘build solid visuals’, and then protect his brand by ‘only playing relevant shows where he can make mad bank.’  Possibly try to crowd out the ‘generic DJs’ and steal their potential earnings.

Live Performance: Neon Indian

Neon Indian was apparently ‘1 bro making an album in his bedroom’, but his live performance consists of 3 additional band members. It seems like the ‘4 person band’ model is ‘very cross-over-able.’  This is important to capture the attention of mainstream bros, etc.  Most mainstreamers can really only consume live music if there is ‘a band of 3+ members’ or if there is a rap crew milling around on stage.

I am not sure what my expectations of Neon Indian are. Did I want them to ‘be a band’, ‘be 1 bro on stage’, or maybe just ‘be the next AnCo.’ It seems like it might be ‘economically feasible’ to lay off one of the band members and work towards a mainstream+conceptual textural live show.  It seems like they really ‘look like a band.’  I feel like the Neon Indian bro might be implementing a boy-band-esque formula, where the members of the band are disposable & constantly feel pressure to add value/’look like a member of an alt band’/understand their role in the overall project.

Seems like Neon Indian might become one of those ‘bands that plays at every festival’/comes to my local alt scene 2x per year.  Has the genre of ’sorority girls who go to music festivals’ already caught on to Neon Indian?

Live Performance: Memory Tapes/Memory Cassette

Apparently, this ‘chillwave’ band does not perform live. I feel like this band was actually ‘pre-chillwave’ but sort of got ‘lumped in afterwards’ just cuz they had a few chillwave characteristics, but didn’t really make pure chillwave music. I will probs download free MP3s by this band 4evr, but won’t buy their vinyls until I am a rich bro in a meaningful loft with a shelf of vinyls.

******
Which chillwave band has the best/worst live model?
Which chillwave band will ‘make it’/'go mainstream’/be ‘the most authentic’?
Which chillwave band will u see first?
Which chillwave band will lead to the implosion of the chillwave genre?
Which chillwave artist will escape/out-live the chillwave era?
What’s ur #1 musical memory of 2k9?

Previous Chillwave coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/07/is-washed-out-the-next-neon-indianmemory-cassette.html

Feel like reflecting on 2k9, even though there is still half a year left.
How will u remember 2k9?

• Animal Collective taught us how to ‘excessively anticipate’ an album.
• Grizzly Bear taught us how to ‘ascend’ into a ‘respected maltstream band’ even though ppl just want to ‘evaluate u’ against the other ‘top band’ of the year.
• Neon Indian/VEGA taught us how 2 ‘manipulate the internet’ until u have some how ‘invaded’ major blogs+webzines to seem just as ‘real’ as pre-existing ‘relevant’ bands.
• Major Lazer taught us how to create an ‘interesting’/'ethnic’ product with a strong marketing team
• Dirty Projectors taught us how to be an nyc hi-end buzzband that people feel pressured to ‘enjoy/appreciate’ or else they will seem ‘uncultured’
• Here We Go Magic taught us how 2 be a pretty ’simple’ conceptual band but still achieve a ‘relevant level of success’ that will be sustainable for ‘a long time’
• Passion Pit taught us how to make music that falls between ‘conceptual’ and ‘electro’ genres, appealing to the mass market of ‘indie simpletons’ [very lucrative]
• Phoenix taught us how to become ‘more widely accepted’ even though their product has been the same for the past 10 years, instead of just ‘fading away’ and becoming insignificant.
• St. Vincent taught us how to be a girl, look keut, sound complex, and appeal to the middle aged critic bros
• Atlas Sound will teach us how to ‘collab with other relevant artists’ so ur band is 180% more blggbl
• Classixx taught us how to ‘rise’ to be the most ‘relevant’ remixer of the year
• Crystal Castles will continue teaching us how 2 utilize ‘negative press’ to stay ‘in the headlines’
• WAVVES taught us how 2 ‘not give a shit’ abt anything, even ur alternative career.
• ‘Conceptualcore’ music taught us that ppl are just looking for shit that sounds ‘new/different’, and will go 2 great xtremes 2 justify what is ‘good/relevant.’
• The now defunct chillwave era taught us how alternative websites need a ‘bloggable topic/scene’ to emerge as a coverable topic that unifies a 2-4 month span that can represent ‘progression’ of the indie scene/musicians/the power of ‘the internet’ 2 help promote ‘good music.

Seems like we should be ‘most ashamed’ of how internet users/indie music fans handled the Animal Collective release. I think it will take a year to sort of ‘forget’ how ‘we’ handled that 1. Just really ‘overthought’ the entire year. Seems like we were looking for something that sounded like AnCo, but also something that didn’t sound like AnCo. Feel like we are confused. Not sure what I like. Can’t even remember what pure electro sounds like [via 2k7].

2k10 will probably be ‘boring.’ We will not trust buzzbands and we will not trust ‘internet blog p4k buzz’, sort of resenting new bands. We will not consider new anonymous chill-electro-lofi projects to be ‘worthy’ of our attention, because they will probably be ‘just another meme’/producer with 1.5 ‘good songs’ that u can throw into a falsified ‘genre/movement.’ Seems like in 2k10, we will have learned to have a ‘backlash’ against an entire era, instead of just an individual band.

Seems like 2k9 might be over.
Goodnite 2k9.

What will u remember about the ‘now defunct’ year 2k9?
Will 2k10 be the worst year in the history of indie music?

I think that ‘NME Magazine’ is something that exists in the United Kingdom. From what I understand, lots of artists try to ‘get buzz’ in the UK or something, then they try to ‘make it cool in the USA.’ Kinda like the Spice Girls. Sometimes it catches on, but sometimes it doesn’t [via David Beckham/The Office]. I think that life is different in the United Kingdom, and they are into different aesthetics, so I feel ‘pissed’ when Americans want to ’seem more european’ so they’ll pretend 2 like British stuff. Feel like it is kewler to ‘like’ French + scandinavian stuff [via IKEA]. Possibly Japan.

America is #1, and I feel like the USA is the kewlest country in the world. h8 the british buzz gimmick.

N e ways… NME made this list of ‘artists who are going 2 change music/art/everything’ in the future. Here is the ‘deep blurbe’ that NME ‘wrote’ abt the list:

In times of economic uncertainty everyone always yawns on about people hankering for familiarity and hiding in nostalgia. But that just doesn’t seem to make much sense. Surely it’s more reassuring to know that things are progressing and developing rather than lying stagnant?

After watching the 2009 Future 50 take shape, it is now our firmly-held belief that no matter what happens to us – come further financial meltdown, come raining sulphur or plagues of locusts, come the new Twang album, even – everything will fall into place. One day it will all make sense.

Here is NME’s ‘future 50′ list, with HRO’s ‘criticism’/'analysis:

50. Gaggle – not sure who/what this is. Remember 1 time I ‘invented’ tuggles of AZNs.
49. Xenomania -seems like a ‘Peter Jackson’ movie
48. Invasion - Not sure what this is.
47. Yo Gabba Gabba! – just a gimmick 4 kids + parents to buy ‘kewl street clothes with zany creatures’ + ‘collab with relevant artists
46. Diesel:U:Music Radio - think that the Diesel brand probs ‘paid’ for this somehow [via advertising].  Seems like a ‘widget’ or something.
45. Cooly G - seems like a ‘mashup’ of Coolio and Warren G
44. Star And Shadow Cinema - Might be a movie theatre with ’stadium seating.’
43. Sonar Festival – are all music festivals ‘the same’
42. Blackout Crew – Seems like a group of frat bros who ‘date rape’ bitches and came up with a sweet facebook group
41. 3OH!3 – music 4 kidz who r trapped in suburbia / fggts
40. Stephen McGregor – Must be Ewan MacGregor’s son ‘gravy training’ off his dad’s fame.

39. Opera - I think this is some sort of ‘internet browser’
38. Aldene Johnson and Hannah Marshall - Sounds like 2 girls who look keut and make mediocre music
37. Project Natal - Probably something about ‘abortion’
36. Lady GaGa - hope she ‘has a meltdown’ somehow.
35. Rostam Batmanglij - Think this is the Vampy Weekend keyboardist bro.
34. Hyperdub – sounds like a ‘ghey ass’ genre of music
33. Seb Chew – sounds like an azn genre of music, like ‘eating noodles with a lot of bass’
32. Sweden – not sure if this is ‘the country’ or a pop star
31. Greg Kurstin – wish it was Greg Kinnear [via Lil Miss Sunshine].  Sad that Joel McHale will never be the actor that Greg Kinnear is [via Talk The Soup]
30. Beck - via the year 19k90

29. Sonic Boom – This was a ‘move’ by Guile, a character in streetfighter. Was a ’sweet move’ but I think ‘Hadouken’ is already a band name.
28. Take That’s stage show – I remember ‘Take That’ sang this sweet song about wanting u back 4 good.

27. Bandstocks.com/Patrick Wolf – seems like some sort of product placement.  Not sure if Patty Wolf is ’still a band’ or just some brand that is co-marketed with magazines+websites.
26. Micachu - I think this is a jewish rapper who ppl think is ‘kewl’. might be band, or possibly a guitar bro.
25. Salem - I think that they are ‘buzzworthy’ and will probably accidentally see them within the next 2 years.
24. Gigbaby – Seems like an octomom meme (R.I.P.)
23. The Dream – I think this is a ‘producer turned artist’ black guy.  Seems like they had to put ‘a black person’ on this list.
22. Ray Tintori – sounds like ‘Ray Liotta’
21. Platform – sound like ‘pavement’

20. The Big Pink - I have heard that they are ‘overhyped by the UK media’.  Seems like I won’t listen to them for a year or two, then when I hear them, they will make me feel the same way that the dirtieprojjies do
19. Twitter - Seems ‘relevant.’  Heard that u can use it to tell people where ur chilling and meetup to share pictures or something.
18. Popjustice – Think this is Justice’s sideproject
17. Mike Sniper - I think this is the bro who ’shot up people’ from the top of the tower at the University of Texas in Austin
16. Nick Zinner - seems like a guy whose name showed up on your caller ID when caller ID was first invented
15. Norwich - Think this is a ‘city’
14. Bradford Cox - It is important 4 magazines to ‘hype up’ artists that are ‘obviously going to be successful’ just so that they can feel like ‘they did it.’
13. Mattias Arrelid - confused
12. Dan The Automator – sounds like a ‘fat person’s nickname’
11. Blocks Recording Club – Confused

10. La Roux – I am still trying to understand if this is a band/girl/bro or something. Seems to have an overwhelming marketing reach.
9. Little Boots – Not sure if she is still ‘relevant.’ Think she just had an album that was ‘huge’ in the UK.
8. VBS.TV – Have never watched it. Think they make stuff that is ‘too serious’. Just want to ‘look at those fucking hipsters.’ I think they make ‘mad ad revenue’ though or something.
7. Jack White – Feel like I am waiting for this bro to do something ‘legitimately crazy.’ Like ‘taking a poop’ on Conan O’brien’s desk, or ‘beating some1 until they almost die and settling out of court’, or something.
6. The XX - They will be ’solid’ and ‘heavily relied upon’ for putting meaningful songs on a mix CD 4 a girl.
5. Omar Souleyman - seems like a ’souley’ bro
4. Dizzee Rascal – I think he was ‘indie’ in 2k4 [via 'hipster hop']
3. Trent Reznor – Still don’t ‘get’ the obsession with legacy artists who say ‘obvious things’ but are ‘glorified’ for being ‘fucking geniuses about the modern music industry.’  Seems like he is ‘respectable’ but don’t understand why ‘indie outlets’ need 2 ‘cover him.’   
2. The Knife - Remember when they were ‘relevant’ in 2k_. Maybe they have a new album coming out. Seems weird that they ‘totally sat out’ the bloghouse era. I think that they will make some sort of ‘really good album’ that I will resent.  Wonder if they will make new ‘cock nose’ masks.

1. Animal Collective – ’s00000 0bvious.’ Christ. The should at least do something stupid, like write out the ‘real name’ of a band member. Like write out ‘Noah Lennox is #1.’ or possibly ‘Noah Lennox’s twitter feed is #1.’

Feel pretty ______ about this ‘list.’ Feel happy/sad that magazines are dying. Seriously feel ’sad’ for a bro who doesn’t read the internet, and only reads NME magazine, and thinks this list is ‘cutting edge.’ Worried that if I go blind, I won’t be able to consume the internet, and I would just have to listen to radio.

What do yall think of NME’s list?
Is it ‘relevant’?
Will all of these people/bands/websites ‘change the world/art/music’ or something?
Do British people ‘know what the fuck they are talking about’?
If u were a magazine, what would u do to ‘utilize ur brand’ to ‘get blog + twitter chatter’ going?
Is Animal Collective reall going 2 ‘change the world’?
Is Twitter really more important than Lady Gaga?
Who would be on ur list for ‘bros who are gonna shatter society’s norms’?

Remember the time that NME ‘made a list’ of the Top 25 indie American bands?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/1-list-of-25-bands-that-kind-of-hurts-americas-image.html

I think that they might be one of those bands that people think ‘are really good’ but are hard to ‘identify with’ for a normal bro. I have listened to their songs a few times to ‘try 2 understand them’ but I still feel like they are ‘close to impossible to identify with.’

They have a song called ‘Stillness is the Move.’ The song has some guitar playing, and some girls singing, as if it is some sort of conceptual indie karaoke song.

From what I understand, people are saying that this is ‘better than’ Animal Collective and Grizzly Bear [via the Indie Contest 4 ‘da best album of 2k9.’ Not sure if I ‘understand why’ any one would think that, even though I haven’t listened to the album.

From what I understand, there are two bros in the band, and 2 broads in the band.

Feel like I have to go back to HRO’s ancient MIXED GENDER BANDS theory, where HRO says that bands appeal to a wider audience when they have boys+girls in them. Also, indie music critics enjoy ‘liking bands with girls’ since it makes them seem less chauvinistic/like they are an equal opportunity provider. I think it is good to have ‘haute indie girls’ in ur band, because bros will come to ur show and say ‘damn…want my gf 2 look like her’ and girls to think ‘wish I could be as authentic as that girl on stage…feel like i’m trying 2 hard and don’t have any indie talent besides dressing like a lil cunt.’

Here is a clip of them from 2008 that I randomly found on the utube. Think that they showcase that the girls are ‘actually talented’ altbaguettes.

Not sure if it ’sounds good’ to me, but I think that might be because it is in complex time signatures and has more key changes that I am used to in bloghouse/electro. Might be uncultured. Feels weird when something is ‘deemed relevant’ even though u don’t have a past history with it/it is 1 of those bands who u always ignored because their name sounded douchey/boring.

Start to feel anxious when there is this band that is ‘highly critically acclaimed’ but I can’t seem to appreciate them. Like there’s something wrong with me–but I feel like I make good consumer decisions. Maybe it is just like an arthaus film from the Frog Nu Wave era–I feel pressure to ‘appreciate it’ but I would rather ‘take out my junk and tug off 2 pornography.’

Do yall like the Dirty Projectors, or does n e 1 have a ‘healthy way’ to approach their music that would make me seem ‘more open’?
Do yall think that the girls in the DPs are ‘hot’ or ‘just indie keut’ or altbaguette??

Previous bands that I don’t ‘get’
No Age / Santogoldy / TV on the Radio / Most bands from 2k8

Photo by Guerilla Vs Bro

From what I have read on the internet, WAVVES is ‘the next big thing’ according to internet music websites. I have listened to his song about being ’s00 b0red’, but I am not sure if it appeals to me. He seems like a chill bro who plays gigs in comfortable sports wear.

[MP3]
WAVVES So Bored

Grade: 1.3 out of 10 runoffs

A lot of times, bands like this come along, and they achieve this aesthetic that is like fuzzy/garage rock/nihilist/beach-guitar-bro/post-punk/etc, or probably some more formal genre that I am not aware of. It seems to appeal to the core demographic of ‘music critics’ who are men between the ages of 28-48. This means that Generation Y is not represented by many authentic ‘tastemaking’ music information sources (and probably rightfully so).

So while I ‘get’ that this music is good for some reason, I don’t think that any one who is Generation Y or below should really ‘get into it’, but if ur an ‘older bro who likes music’, maybe u can share what makes it ‘good’/'relevant-sounding’ so that I can understand the modern musiccriticismsphere. Maybe I have ‘too many pop sensibilities’ since my parents ‘listened to a lot of ______’ while I was growing up.

Maybe I just feel more comfortable with a band like MGMT getting pseudo-’critical acclaim’ until it is ‘driven into the ground’ because of its aesthetic gimmick/poppy consumer-core sounds than I am with these bands that will be ‘forever-authentic.’ I think these people appeal to the ‘alternative post-GenXers who grew up reading Vice Magazine.’ Still trying to ‘get’ these alts since I have had to alienate them to appeal to tweens (a more valuable demographic for advertisers).

Previous band that I don’t ‘get’: No Age
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/no-age-got-a-92-on-pitchfork-but-i-still-dont-get-why-i-should-appreciate-them-2.html

Does n e understand what I am trying 2 say? Just trying to ‘make sense’ of bands that are [HIGHLY BUZZWORTHY] that aren’t instantly accessible 2 me.

Do yall give WAVVES a thumbs up or thumbs down?

I listen to the Animal Collectives on a weekly basis. I think I ‘like’ them because they are differentiated from ‘traditional music’ and ‘modern indie music.’ When I listen to them, I exist on a higher plane of musical appreciation and consume products for ‘all the right reasons.’ For the past couple of months, the whole world has been awaiting the LEAK of the album Merriweather Post Pavillion. I was one of them. I was not awaiting the chance to purchase physical copy of the album, but instead I was a proud member of the LEAK HUNTING army for this album. Fortunately, a conceptual Santa slid down my chimney to deliver the best xmas gift of all–the leak was officially released by the Internet around Christmas of 2k8.

When I first saw the album art for the new AnCo album, I knew it would be amazing. I knew the album was more than just a series of bloggable mp3s, and the album art was more than just a meme.

I like ‘looking forward to things’ because it is a gimmick that makes my life worth living. With all of this anticipation for the album release of what I perceived to be a relatively-niche band, I wonder if I am living in a world that is completely out of touch with ‘what real people listen to/consume/value in music. How BIG OF A DEAL is the new Animal Collective/what social constructs do I realisticially expect it to break down? Can they be 1 of the newest relevant crossover alt artists? Even if you put AnCo head2head with other ‘alternative artists’ who ‘have a worldwide universal appeal on a commercial/spiritual level’ and are regarded as ‘being culturally relevant’ and ‘progressive’ at the same time, do u think Animal Collective can compare to these bands?

Is Anco as approachable as U2?
Is Anco as approachable as the Coldplay?
Is Anco as approachable as Radiohead?
Is Anco as approachable as the Arcade Fire?
Is Anco as approachable as Feist?
Is Anco more/less approachable for Joe Suburbia to consume than _________?

Where does Animal Collective realistically sit in this hierarchy of critical acclaim vs. pop appeal vs. actually selling albums? I feel like they are sort of like a ‘really funny, progressive comedy that got cancelled from cable TV’ in band format, except they are a band so they don’t get ‘cancelled’–they get the opportunity to move forward become more authentic, letting their fan base ‘grow’ with them.

When I first started listening to them, they had a smaller following, and playing them in my car for a group of friends was often met with a lot of ‘what is this krazie noise, yall?’s. Back then, AnCo was way more acoustic/conceptual/NOISECORE/lofi/etc. These days, they are a bit more electro conceptual tribal. Animal Collective uses progressive samples and instruments to make ‘modern pop music.’ Not every one is ready to embrace this concept. Not every one is able to say ‘OMG. they have the pop sensibilities of the Beach Boys’ because they probably don’t read+regurgitate music tidbits & opinions from the internet on a daily/weekly basis.

Photo caption: Remember this album from 1989?

I remember when I saw AnCo live in the post-Strawberry Jam world, it was swarming with entrylevel alts who were looking for a more meaningful experience than just a ‘marginally dancey Cut Copy show.’ At Animal Collective concerts, people are willing 2 unite, kind of like meaningful core during its peak days (ie the DeathCab TRANSATLANTICISM era).

Do u remember OLD Animal Collective LIVE was like this, instead of a couple of dudes pressing buttons and ‘bobbing their heads to the music’ on stage? Were u ‘there’ b4 they were ‘big’?

(You probably got lost in this clip because it was s00 RAW and not ‘poppy enough’ 4 ur tastes.)

HRO is usually only able to analyze things from 2 perspectives:

• Where does it stand in constrant struggle between mainstream vs. alt?
• Does the product make my life more meaningful?

Animal Collective is an interesting case study when u analyze them with these 2 questions driving ur analysis. Kinda makes u wonder if they are the perfect storm for ‘existence within a malstream environment’.

Theoretically, I am living in a world where a progressive album is critically acclaimed/successful. Is this ‘utopia’ or am I just disconnected from reality / living in a world where my values are too internet-buzz-centric?

AnCo = Blog house? (probably just p4k house)

Animal Collective is an important band because they are one of the first ‘transcendent’ independent bands to gather most of their acclaim on the internet. While they probably had a few recordings before every one turned utilized the internet to find the newsest, alt-est music, you can’t really deny that they grew at a healthy rate in internet-acclaim-perception over the past couple of years. If you grow too fast, you will be discarded as inauthentic (The Black Kids). If you grow 2 slowly, no1 ever really identifies with ur brand and think that you are just a newsbit that has been around 2 long for no good reason. The internet is a difficult environment in which to grow because virality rates are difficult to control.

Most ‘revolutionary’ bands that douchebaggy music blogs+news sources+magazines cover have a life before and after the internet. Kind of like college rock bands around the year 2000. Bands like INTERPOL that were ‘good’ but then had to find a new life in an inauthentic altradio context. Or other bands kind of shriveled up and died after the internet made bands ‘release content+memes more frequently’ and some bands were unable to respond. If you think about AnCo, much of their ‘acclaim’ has come in the post-p4k era. Probably gaining a lot of steam back when Pitchfork anointment meant a little bit more to the ’standard pre-altbro music fan’ who still J.O.ed while reading p4k/there weren’t as many other sources that were ‘unearthing’ bands at the time. Now there are probably too many sources ‘unearthing’ shitty bands, so we are returning back to our Pitchfork + GorillaVsBear roots to prepare for the unknown year of 2k9.

It is important to remember that today’s ‘most connected’ music fans use the internet to judge what are the most relevant+progressive bands/brands. In the musicsphere, there are a few key tastemakers of different scales, and most of them have aligned to tell you that Animal Collective is relevant+progressive+transcendent. Keep in mind that the most relevant members of culture exist solely on the internet and can only value what is valued on the internet. Which band/meme/topic generates the most blog posts? Which 1 generates the most comments? Which 1 gets the most praise/transcends snark+hype resentment?

So I’m not sure if this internet-centric praise economy for Animal Collective means that they are ‘bigger’ than I think they are, or if we are just so caught up in what’s happening on the internet that we fail to realize ‘these conceptual bands don’t matter to most people and probably never will.’ So while you are ‘acclaimed’ by the top 0.5% of culturally relevant society, you have to understand that these people are the ones who are too smart to pay for music.

Fortunately, AnCo has a meaningful live show, which is always important to value in the ‘rise’ + ’sustainability’ of artists.

Animal Collective-Brother Sport “live at Midi festival ” 2007 French – Riviera (wish it didn’t take 2 years for this song 2 get recorded/leaked)

If u can’t tour + get a room of bros to buy t-shirts and vinyl albums for bros who don’t have record players, then u can’t ‘make it big’ in altville. Another factor to keep in mind is ‘how willing is ANCO to use the internet as a gimmick’ to maintain interest. It seems like in the past the internet has kind of ‘fucked them over’ when it comes to LEAKAGE, but it’s tough to say whether that worked for/against them. Will they ‘pull a GirlTalk/Radiohead’ and be the next band that the NY Times writes about because they ‘gave away their album for free’ and ‘have a culturally relevant following’?

******* THIS IS A CONCEPT POEM/HTML PIECE/ADVERTISEMENT *******

Always remember that you can do better.

You need 2 be the best.

If u make urself proud, u will make the critics happie.

Never give up.

Make ur parents proud.

There is always room for improvement.

I want 2
get an 11
from the
pitchfork medias
(The HRO EP: Coming Soon)

****************

The Eagerness to Elevate AnCo to be ‘A Conceptual Artist who has Garnered Mainstream Acclaim.’

There is nothing more annoying that Conceptual Artists/Bands who have allegedly garnered mainstream praise. For example, the Radioheads. Or maybe the zany broad BJORK. Maybe Sigur Ros or Arcade Fire (those 2 are a lil different/smaller). I think the main gimmick behind these bands is convincing yourself that their ‘product’ stands for something more than most music. They are pretty much a lifestyle brand for every sort of alternative ideal possible: social change, innovative instruments + recording techniques, reflections on humanity, usage of performance + visual art during the live show, environmental awareness, anti-War, embracing technology, innovative/meme-able music videos, having opinions on politics, and stuff like that which makes the band interesting/easy to write about.

I’d say bands on this level exist as sort of a ‘non-profit lifestyle brand’ and have a progressive simpleton fan base that can’t really ’see’ what’s going on. The bands are probably all way more ‘deliberate’ than we give them credit for, but also kind of excessively ‘grassroots/organic’ in an annoying way. U kinda just want them 2 embrace their mainstreamness and focus on being mediocre. The people who ‘genuinely’ like these bands are not worth taking seriously because they didn’t really know how to use the internet to find their ‘favourite band.’ Instead, they picked the artist on what they perceive to be ‘the extreme left’ in the lineup of mainstream artists. In essense, they want to identify with generic alternative ideals that they think a band is supposed to represent. So while the artists themselves may be ‘truly expressing themselves’, it is hard for an internet-centric bro who ‘has the whole internet at his fingertips’ to take these artists seriously when we have found a whole new world that makes Bjork/Radiohead seem like a concept/band for simpletons (kinda like The Matrix).

“I h8 AnCo because the people who like Animal Collective are s00 annoying.”

After understanding the internet-era and the pressure for bands/labels to create these non-profit lifestyle brands, you can now begin to explore the ‘types of fans who love Animal Collective.’ They are probably a sampling from the absolute worst type of people to ‘talk about music.’ In their world, music is the most important art form, and Animal Collective is the master of the arts. Animal Collective shits on everything else, whether or not is art. Most of the most ardent Animal Collective fans are ‘failed creative-types’ who have convinced themselves that they ‘could have made the music that Animal Collective made’ if they ‘just saved up some money to buy ________(type of instrument).’

These are Anco fan stereotypes:

a) the bros who are waaay too connected to ‘new bands’ and ‘music news’ and ‘whatz goin on’ in the world of independent music
b) bros who ‘don’t care about what’s going on in the altmusicsphere’ because they ‘only care about how music makes them FEEL’
c) bros who pretend to only care about judging music based on ‘how it sounds’ but secretly check P4k rankings on a weekly basis to construct what they ‘like’ based on how they perceive the masses are digesting new content.

I feel like the most annoying thing about Animal Collective fans is their ‘evangelistic’ tendencies. It’s kind of like a ‘cult’ that is asking you to ‘trash your pre-existing tastes and experiences when it comes to music, and join the AnCo army.’ To them, Animal Collective is a band that satisfies ‘what they are looking for in a band’ from a musical and social perspective. They have told themselves that in their perfect version of society, every one will participate in communal sound sessions. Every sound ever made in this perfect society will be recorded, and later used in a meaningful song. We will all have animal/weird names and be inducted into THE ANIMAL COLLECTIVE at sundown on Sunday nights. We will sacrifice humans who do not appreciate our society.

Animal Collective fans may or may not be as ‘differentiated’ as they think they are. Animal Collective fans may or may not exist on a more organic/authentic plane of existence than ‘generic music fans.’

AnCo and ‘Crossoverability’

I feel like if you talked to most ardent AnCo cultmembers, they would tell you that Anco is ‘eventually going to take over the radio and everything on FM radio will sound like AnCo.’ After thinking about AnCo’s place in the internet-perception economy, and how that has nothing to do with ‘the empty mainstream BritSpears world’, it is easy 2 see that AnCo will never ‘cross over.’ They will stay in a good place for them–Kings of Smart People Who Accumulate Ideas, Opinions, and Art From the Internet. I think one of the most important tests for an artist’s crossoverability is ‘Could I put this on a mix CD for 1 of my parents, or is it too far out?’ I’d say 1/10 Animal Collective songs are mix-cd-able for your parents, and that rate is just too low to expect tweens who listen to Fall Out Boy/Pink/Brokencyde to ‘get’ AnCo.

I feel like Panda Bear’s “Person Pitch” is one of the most important catalysts for AnCo 2.0. It was Noah “Panda Bear” Lennox who really ‘created the cultural marketplace’ for Animal Collective as a band. His songs are more approachable for people without a conceptual appreciation of music. In addition, ‘Panda Bear’ helped us buy into the idea of The Animal Collective, as opposed to them just being ‘weird dudes who make weird music that I am apparently supposed to like.’ Panda Bear is the bro who made the Brand more authentic. Otherwise, there is a chance that most of their albums would just be sort of college radio concept rock fodder.

Never underestimate the significance of branding. I think most people who are ‘really into Animal Collective’ don’t really understand branding/would tell you that ‘they are not a brand–they are just passionate musicians making art.’ They have done something relatively impossible–making a brand that is ‘authentic’ and ‘transparent’ and ‘immune to hype’ and ‘invincible against negative criticism’ and ‘opening up new artistic spaces which leave critics unable to evaluate it with an existing set of standards.’

One of AnCo’s best gimmicks is operating for ‘art’s sake’ as well as they can. Instead of ‘creating excessive blurbably content’, they usually let the Music New Meme economy generate their own memes about what AnCo is up to. They will definitely have an infinite life as an ‘acclaimed alt band’, but their core competencies don’t really mean that they will ‘blow up’ because only really ‘guitar rock n roll with male singer’ alt bands or ‘artsy girls who play multiple instruments and sing kinda kute songs’ can CROSS OVER.

If anything, AnCo is lucky to ‘crossover’ to people who don’t use the internet. This is kind of like the genre of FestivalBros/ drug users who listen to old music / weirdo old people who like new stuff that they think matches their weird personal brand. Just can’t imagine “Brother Sport” playing at a high school homecoming dance. As meaningful as you think it would be, it probz just won’t happen ever, yall.

Generic Music Criticism is Still Important to People?

I think the music reviews of Merriweather Post Pavvy will probably be ‘the last great music reviews’ of all time. In our current information economy, it takes less time to sample an album than it does to read a review with big words describing sound + references to bands that we don’t know + references to tidbits of information about the band that we don’t know. Are Music Reviews meant to be read before or after a reader hears the album? I feel like people use them to a) find out what is good, usually based only on a number (9.6/10) and b) to reaffirm that an album is good after they have already decided that they liked an album. If I were running a review site, I would try to keep everything positive so that I wouldn’t alienate one, kind of like Amazon reviews. In order to build a meaningful online brand, you must pick a type of music that you consider to be irrelevant + inauthentic, and continue to give these bands poor scores.

Now that we have finally found ‘the perfect album’, I think we really need to re-evaluate what a ‘music review’ means in today’s consumer economy. Should ‘music reviews’ be renamed ‘product reviews’ in order 2 stay relevant/appeal to self-aware markets?

We are hearing too much about these artists that were ‘cultivated on the internet’ in sources like magazines + weekly MTV shows. h8 living at a time when magazines are ‘going to the internet’ to report about ‘what’s happening’, so it feels like we are getting bombarded with too much praise for these Blogville AllStars. (just want magazines 2 be burned, yall). I think consumers find solace in the internet because they can block out this formulaic praise/writing/’journalism’ and just sample the music directly. It’s also just annoying 2 hear about artists that you have already aligned ur personal brand with 1.5 years ago–it’s kinda like ur mom ‘reminding u 2 file ur 1040EZ/clean your room for the 5th time.’ It just makes u want 2 have a whole new life without being reminded of the traditional constructs of society. When I listen to Animal Collective, I may or may not still live in our mnstrm society.

SWOT ANALYSIS on AnCo

Strengths:

• Conceptual
• U don’t really know what they are singing about (in a good way)
• they sound ‘good’
• They are a well-implemented brand
• Core audience of evangelists
• They have the internet perception economy on their side
• ‘nice guys’
• meaningful album art
• ability to create LEAK DEMAND

Weaknesses:

• The sing a lot about fatherhood but might not have that many fans who are fathers
• Don’t play enough songs from ‘their most recent album’ at shows
• too experimental?
• Too much LEAK buzz when they are not on a Lil Wayne level yet
• They all live in different parts of the world
• They rule the world (they used 2 rule the world) -the coldplays

Opportunities:

• Less Avey Tare?
• More Panda?
• License more songs for commercials
• Come out with a 6 song EP per 6 months and ’stay relevant’ forever
• The death of jam bands and festival and the rise of jam bands at festivals
• Starting a mini record label that exploits bands that have a similar aesthetic to build an economy for ‘nontraditional music’
• Record deal with the iTunes LBL
• play at the Obama inauguration
• We will never know if they are ‘not good’ any more or if they are just ‘too much’ for our mainstream ears.

Threats:

• What happens if Avey Tare / Panda leave the band?
• They might get ‘disenfranchised’ with the ‘music scene’
• They will focus on their families and take a 10 year break
• Geologist will make a solo album that ‘kinda sux’ and ruins the brand
• Deakin is better than the current 3 members of anCo
• Hype Backlash in 2k11
• Getting ‘too progressive’ before our ears are ready for it
• turning into ass holes who care too much about ’social change.’

N e ways… haven’t listened to Merriweather Post Pavillion in a meaningful context, so I don’t know how good it is. Might need 2 buy some Peyote/heroin and drive to a desert.

Hope yall take some time to think about the internet-world that u exist in, and how Animal Collective is a band that has grown to be relevant alongside web-publishers rise to relevancy. It is a symbiotic relationship. We need them to be ‘considered good/relevant’ so that we can be ‘considered good/relevant.’ Now that they have ‘made it’, webzines/blogs/pitchforks can pat themselves on the back because this is our child. We raised them. We pulled them from the womb of the obscurity, raised them, fed them, nourished them, created them, loved them, used them, experienced them, grown with them, and now they have grown to have an alledged impact on modern society.

<3 u AnCo <3
thnx 4 ‘making us think’ abt ‘reality’/'music’/'art’/'media’/'journalism’/'blogs’/'technology’/etc.
I guess yall win no matter what yall do. Kinda jeal.

We are living in a Post Merriweather Post Pavillion World,
And I am a Conceptual Bro.

TV ON THE RADIO is a band that people think they are supposed to appreciate. These people are not sure why they ‘like’ TV on the Radio; however, aligning their personal brands with TV on the Radio makes them a more cultured/culturally-connected person. TV on the Radio is a band with 1 white dude and a bunch of black dudes.

TV on the Radio apparently makes music that ‘is inspired by a bunch of different genres.’ However, I would compare the end product to SLOP, the food item that u feed 2 pigs. In order 2 feed pigs, all u need 2 do is mix the leftovers and scraps from your family’s dinner table.

I feel like ‘liking TV on the Radio’ is something for people who:

• don’t actually listen to music
• enjoy music based on ‘what authentic buzz sources’ claim 2 b ‘authentic’
• enjoy liking bands that aren’t accessible to entry levelers but actually just aren’t accessible to any one

I remember when TV on the Radio went on Letterman. They were too alternative to perform on the stage like every1 else, so they decided to have a meaningful fire escape show. Now I kinda wish clubs had fire escapes instead of stages.

Key elements to TV on the Radio’s success

• They look zany/interesting-core
• They are ‘from New York’
• They are a mixed race band
• They participate in meaningful sideprojects that are shitty/mediocre, but they provide Music News Meme Generators to ‘blurb about’ more TV on the Radio coverage
• They are the kind of band that thinks their music is a healing mechanism for the world.
• They take themselves seriously, enabling them to ‘take risks’ that other people think they are supposed to take seriously.
• Needlessly high production value that requires the use of $200+ noise-canceling headphones (this appeals to people who order gimmick products from SkyMall magazines).

I remember when I was an entry-leveler/pure altbro, I went to a TV on the Radio concert. The white guitarist guy made every one in the audience take out their keys to ‘use as percussion.’ I looked all around me. The crowd began dangling their keys in rhythm with a babbly TV on the Radio song, grinning with delight as they ‘authentically appreciated the venue’s acoustics.’ I immediately walked out of the venue. While my life is meaningful, a part of me realized that it wasn’t meaningful enough to participate in a collective concert experience.

Let’s be honest, yall. TV on the Radio’s music has gotten progressively worse since their first album. They only have a few good songs. “Staring at the Sun” and “Wolf Like Me” are alright. It’s just hard for me to take the bro who claims that “TV ON THE RADIO = AWESOME” very seriously.

You also can’t underestimate the opportunity for white people to ‘like/appreciate’ music that ‘black people’ make, particularly when it doesn’t sound like music that ‘black people traditionally make, but since black people are making it, u can still kinda hear the authentic-aesthetic that only artists whose ancestors are [via Africa] can generate (kinda like Jazz/afro beat/etc.).’

The name of our album includes the word ’science.’ This means that we understand ‘humans after all’ on a level that goes beyond social interactions and generic ‘gripes about society.’ We are also on record as ‘Bush Haters.’

TV on the Radio is also one of those Radiohead-esque bands where you don’t know what the hell they are talking about, but you get the sense that it is ‘relevant commentary on a metaphorical level that isn’t worth questioning.’ They sort of remind me of a band of ‘intellectual dropouts who rope you into a conversation about modern issues to prove that they didn’t need an education 2 stay informed/cultured.’

It’s always interesting when a band ‘takes themselvez seriously.’ While you usually see this in your local scene with a band who is trying to ‘make it’ and just end up looking like douchebags/their band sounds like conceptual p00p, TV on the Radio has ‘made it’ and garnered worldwide acclaim. Maybe they are ‘okay’, and maybe I just don’t ‘get it’, but just wanted 2 let yall know that I’m not interested. If yall tastemaking magazines want 2 start selling magazines/generating ad impressions, yall are gonna have to start putting less conceptual crap on your top 10 lists. (Katy Perry: #1 artist of 2k8?)

I just have this image of a 35 year old man reading P4k/Rolling Stone/NME/SPIN’s best of 2k8 list, going on iTunes to buy the top 3 albums, halfheartedly listening to them, then going back to listening to meaningful songs from the late 90s, ‘back when good music was more than just weirdo conceptual crap that people had 2 pretend is awesome.’

“TV ON THE RADIO? More like POOP IN MY MP3 PLAYER.”
– a modern music critic whose gimmick is incorporating the word ‘poop’ into his reviews