HIPSTER RUNOFF

Not sure if 'snowboarding' is 'alt' or if it just one of those luxury hobbies that rich people can partake in. Seems like it is kinda 1990-ish to ride the Tony Hawk wave, but I think there are still people who are in2 it. Bros who just wanna grow red hair and be more like Shaun White or something, get sponsored by energy drinks and participate in ESPN's X-Games or something. Would honestly rather be in a buzzband so u can do 'hard drugs' on the road, instead of something that requires athletic focus.

Anyways, some bro got in an accident, suffered massive head injuries, his brain 'swole up', then they had to cut off parts of his skull. Doesn't seem worth it just to glide down a hill on a surf board. Don't think it is a sport, and it should be outlawed, because people are just asking 2 get hurt.

Feel like I will never skateboard in my life. Seems potentially 'just as gay' as rollerblading or something. Huge safety risk. Really just want to move 2 South America and try to avoid snow + cold weather.

A skateboarder whose brain swelled uncontrollably after he shattered his skull in an accident has made a miraculous recovery after doctors sawed off both sides of his skull.

Kyle Johnson, 25, was given just a five per cent chance of survival when he shattered his cranium in more than ten places after falling off his board near his home in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Doctors said his brain swelled so much it 'nearly exploded', forcing them to saw off parts of his skull to save his life.

Scared. Hope thisbro is chill.

Are yall worried that u will suffer 'head injuries' and lose ur ability to live/think/be self-aware?
Would u rather lose a limb, or just go ahead and 'die'?

Worried abt his skull. Hope it can still protect his brain.

The operation left him with just a tiny strip of bone down the centre of his head protecting his brain.

Mr Johnson was kept in a drug-induced coma and doctors feared he may not survive the accident, or be left brain damaged.

Doctors stored the rest of his skull in the freezer for two weeks while they waited for the swelling to go down, before putting it back together using plates and screws.

Worried about finding some 'skull' in my freezer. Just trying to grab some ice cream/ frozen yogurt / veggie patties / DiGiorno's, and ended up with some skull.

'I didn't even think this type of thing was possible, you put peas in a freezer not a human skull.'

So scared about my annual family trip to Aspen. Definitely gonna wear a helmet when I 'get my X-games on.'

'I've done this hill countless times, normally I wear a helmet, but on this one day, I just went down the hill on a whim.

'I think I may have struck a rock on my way down the hill and flew off my board, landing on the back of my head.

'There was blood everywhere, I was lying in a puddle of blood around 4ft long and 2ft wide, which was rolling down the hill.'

One of the paramedics who attended the scene told Mr Johnson his head 'felt like a sponge.'

Do u feel bad for this bro?
Is this 'a miracle'?
If u get in some sort of accident, do u worry that injury will 'limit ur cognitive skills' and 'opportunities for personal brand upgrades'?
Is snowboarding 'fun' or just some sort of gimmick 'sport' for rich people / rich teenagers who are on vacay?
Should I become a 'ski bum' or a 'surfer bro'?
Do yall prefer 'Vail', 'Aspen', or 'Tahoe'?

Many people think that ACL stands for 'Austin City Limits', a popular Texan Music Festival that appeals to old, rich Texans. However, ACL has a totally different meaning--it is actually a body part / ligament / bone / tissue /muscle. Tearing your ACL is actually a 'catastrophic injury' that leaves you without the support you need to function as a human being. If u lived in nature and u tore your ACL, you would probably be gobbled up by a predator.

This is what makes the injured partying alt such a special human. Her desire to party supersedes any pain or limited range in movement that should impair her. Her sheer will 2 party sets her apart from the average partying bro. She is there with a torn ACL, probably 'effed up on pain killers' getting her party on. Her long term health might be compromised, but she perseveres, caring abt nothing else but 'getting her goddamn party on.'

This is why we party. Might write a book about her + her local scene called "Friday Night Alts" or maybe "Profiles in Alt Courage."

Not really sure what an ACL really is. Not sure what an MCL is. It is a 'buzz term' thrown around in sports a lot, so I figure it happens 2 ppl. Maybe that kind of crap only happens 2 athletes since they have 2 treat their bodies like machines, which eventually break down [via stress + old age].

Just feel like this is a 'huge accomplishment.' Wish I care about something enough to 'fight thru an injury' in order 2 accomplish it. Sad that my life is 'pointless' and I will never really have something special to accomplish. Will be lucky if I 'endure a tummy ache' at my crappy desk job.

Is partying while ur injured the most authentic way 2 party?
Do yall know what an ACL is?
Have yall ever worn a knee / leg brace?
Have u ever partied while u were injured?
What was ur greatest 'partying moment' of all time?
Does this injured girl embody 'the true spirit of alt'?
R u inspired?