HIPSTER RUNOFF

[Photo via Lookbook]

Dear Mom,
I h8 how u do not 'get' me 1 bit. U need 2 pay attention 2 me so that u don't end up looking like a dumbass shitface who 'doesn't care about her son' when u try to do something nice 4 me. Recently, u went to a local Best Buy to get me a meaningful gift to go with last Christmas's Macbook stocking stuffer. U decided 2 get me an iPod touch.

First of all... I already have an iPhone. Totally don't need an iPod touch. s00 dumb. U srsly should NOT be alive. U need 2 read more actual publications on the internet instead of reading the local paper from 2 years ago. U think ur smart because u 'have a career' but the shit u do is meaningless, and I would srsly slit my own throat and wrists if I had 2 do what u do every day. There's more to 'life' than ur version of life--I wish u could see it my way so that you'd understand my most recent personal brand implementation.

I SRSLY JUST TOOK A BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS I AM SO PISSED OFF AT LIFE. /////

N e ways, Just wanted 2 let u know that record players are the new iPods. Just a more 'organic' feeling when ur listening to music. Like ur closer to the artist. (I might also give up my iPhone and only use pay phones.)

I h8 the idea of
1) purchasing mp3s
2) being 'so portable' just like every1 else
3) co-branding myself with white earbuds
4) having some ghey-metallic coloured iPod
5) being 'so connected' with a wifi connection
6) the audio quality isn't authentic
7) Apple is a BULL SHIT MONOPOLY
8) The recent Apple product recall because Steve Jobs's disease 'contaminated' a bunch of product lines

Record players are the future bc U have to make a decision about 'where u want to be' and make sure that your apartment/room/space is extra meaningful. It's also more difficult to 'collect vinyls' than it is to collect mp3s, so it makes you 'love music' more that typical people.

I wish u'd realize how 'out' iPods are. They are for high schoolers and overgrown tweens. Do u really think I look like this guy?

[Photo via Easy Fashion]

/// h8 the shit out of u, mom
/// we used to be 'bros' right after dad 'left us'
/// but now I am finally seeing
/// that I was the 1 worth leaving.

Love,
your altSon

PS: can u leave me some pizza money 4 the weekend?

I am going to throw away my iPod because this Microsoft Zune ad appeals to me.
The main reason this commercial appeals to me is bc of
a) the Digitalism Shinichi Osawa rmx in the background
b) I love to squirt stuff out of my butt
c) 2 many entry level alts bought macbooks
d) the new macbooks don't even look that g00d
e) Microsoft hired the same people who made the Diesel XXX 'SFW Porn' ads in an attempt 2 go mega viral
f) I luv fat hairy bears
g) I h8 Girl Talk
h) Bill Gates paid for my college bc I am from the 3rd World and have a disease
i) I have a coolhunting/trendspotting blog that hosts Microsoft ads
j) Part of the Viral nvr dies
k) I go to art school, and my professor doesn't 'get' me bc he says I am just trying 2 b quirky cuz I am a projectile poo+paint artist
l) choose.your.own.response

UR A MAC
AND I SHOOT STUFF OUT OF MY BUTT/AM AN ARTIST

In the middle of the PC vs Mac war, will Mac respond by making a viral snuff film? Love ya Steve Jobs! Just tryin 2 help u find a way to market 2 trendsetting audiences.

Am I still edgy if I post the Diesel SFW Porn vid even though it's 100 blog years old?
After a meme 'goes viral', don't u feel a lil sad that it didn't 'live 4ever.'

When r designers going 2 create sustainable memes?

THERE'S MORE 2 LIFE THAN GOING VIRAL /////////////
(Barry Obama will learn this soon.)

Should I do it off my iPhone or my iPod Nanny?

Which 1 will get me 'm0re fuckt up'?

Should I have a certain song playing when I 'sniff it' 4 the first time?

Just trying to find myself/fit in with a new group of Alt4Life friends that I made.

Should I stay away from drugs?  Help.

[Photo by LastNitesiPodBro]
Have yall gone to any authentic concerts lately? Do u go in a pack of friends, or do u go alone? I know that there's a lot of time to kill until the concert starts, since bands are such primadonnies these days, but have u ever taken ur iPod 2 a concert?

Is this some new Apple initiative to appeal to the most authentic people on the planet? Concerts are kind of lame when u have to listen to music inbetween sets, because the sound board guy is usually some bro who was born before 1976, and he is eager to 'impress u with his taste/appreciate for the past.' So maybe we should all start bringing iPods to shows. I'm not rlly sure--I'm just a blogger. But I do know that 1 time my iPod came in handy one time when I used the GPS system on my iPod shuffle.

It would be nice if you took ur earbuds out when the band was playing, though. I know that in high school and college classrooms across the country, kids are trying to listen 2 music instead of listening 2 their teacher. Kinda weird. Makes me think that they don't even appreciate music--they are only concerned with how their personal brand looks since they have an iPod. I guess that's life, tho. I was probably that way with digipets/pogs when I was a lilmainstreamAlt.

Is Apple Vs. Microsoft the initial battle that leads into the ElectroWar? Worried, yall.

I just read on a 'Mac Vs. PC' weblog that they came out with new iPod nannies.

I just bought my iPod nano a few months ago because of the new emerging artist featured in the commercial called 'The Feists.' Even though the song 'wasn't THAT good', it was a commercial that turned her into an altMainstream superstar.

Her crossbranding with a technological product enabled every1 to feel progressive by enjoying her/the small iPod nano.

LET US NEVER FORGET THE 'FEIST-SIZED' IPOD NANO MODEL.
LET US ALL ADMIT THAT '1-2-3-4' WASN'T EVEN A VERY GOOD SONG.
Srsly. It reminds me of 'girls who dress alt but don't have any personality' would listen to/rave about/put into their facebook+myspace profile.

It's good to know that iPod does a good job of lumping 'obscurer alternative artists' and 'artists who were originally marketed as being alternative but have since gained a mainstream appeal' into their [BUZZWORTHY] commercials.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaWTaXKljqM&hl=en&fs=1]
Is it deceptive advertising that the new Nanos begin to 'cum' in the final 10 seconds of the commercial?

I think Apple would tell you that more 'variety' is better when it comes to colour choices. However, according to the 'Pinkifying a Product Makes Your Product Less Authentic' theory, Apple might be weakening it's brand by enabling empty females to 'feel like their pink iPod truly represents them' while they work out at the gym.

It's sort of like when ur fave sports team makes various coloured jerseys for women (pink) or St. Patrick's Day (green), and u wish they could just 'stay authentic' instead of trying s00 hard 2 sell jerseys.

BUT SRSLY...
Does n e 1 miss the bulkiness/minimalist interface of the early iPods? the 'mini' was s00 bulky!

I read in a tumblr that minimalist, 'no bullshit' designs+interfaces are gonna be big after a disease wipes out half of the Eastern world in 2k10.

Title: Feist--Maybe She Wuz Never Alt? (iPod nano)
Created: Fall 2009

This has been part of Mainstream=Alt (an eArt Gallery presented by the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF).

Have you ever experimented with 'being a DJ'? While u were a DJ, did u ask ur self 'WHAT CAN I DO TO ESTABLISH MY UNIQUE PERSONAL BRAND?' I know that a lot of DJs have utilized masks to establish some sort of dark, enigmatic personal brand. However, I think headphone tattoos showa higher level of dedication to ur DJ brand.

Other tat options for DJs include

• turntables on your chest
• ableton setup on your back
• Serato on your arm
• your favourite record on your lower back
• 'angel wings' on your back to represent that u r a fallen Angel DJ

I am a normal person, so I have considered getting a simple iPod tattied on to me, complete with earbuds that extend into my ears. Not sure what type of iPod I'm going to get tattied on to me. Shuffle, nano, or iPod touch, or iPhone nano-shuff?

[Photo via HotChixWithDBaggies]

I also eat food, so I am thinking of getting some sort of item off the Chili's menu tattied on to me. I might just get symmetrical hip tattoos of the Chili's chili logo on my hips.

Send ur CHILI's pics.

Check out this Feist ad that showed up on Hype Machine earlier.

Do you think this ad was made by a 13 year old using Photoshop for the 4th time? While Feist's face is usually distant+enigmatic, I think she really comes across as a 'prisoner in this ad space.'

Go to Feist's website.
http://www.listentofeist.com/

This website is pretty hilarious. It seems like it should be a website that turned up when you googled your middle school teacher's name, and found out that she is an unsuccessful singer-song writer. Maybe it's just something about the colour scheme that makes it look like a default template in a 'Make My First Webpage' type of program.

I remember back at the beginning of Feist Explosion 2k7, she shut down listentofeist.com because it didn't represent her well. I wonder what the deal is now.

Check out this ZUNE COMMERCIAL with The Shins. (In case you didn't know, the Zune is Microsoft's version of the iPod. Don't feel unhip if you don't know about it. If one of your friends has one, it's probably because it came for free with a Dell laptop or something).
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5QiqbHp5Q8&rel=1]
Do you think the Shin's Manager/Label should have let them be associated with the Zune? In a world where iTunes downloads are more important than radio plays (at least in markets that aren't filled with degenerates), it's interesting to see that the Shins are chilling in a ZUNE commercial, as opposed to be featured in an AD like this:

Also factor in the whole 'Feist' iPod Nano phenomenon, and it's fair to say that Apple has done a pretty decent job of letting mainstreamers know what should be on their iPod.

[MP3]
CSS Computer Heat

CSS's Myspace
www.myspace.com/canseidesersexy

Check out these iPod Nano cases made by Contexture. So maybe you feel like iPod Touches are not worth it, or you feel enslaved by a second generation Nano that you got just a few months ago. For only $45, you can upgrade to have a really interesting take on your iPod Nano. Apparently they are working on a design for the new, smaller Nano models.

“Reusing an old music medium to protect technology that surpassed it really resonates with us as music fans and sustainable designers,” says Trevor Coghill, Contexture Design co-founder.

“Before iTunes’ playlists, people made mix tapes,” says founding partner Nathan Lee of the similarities between cassettes and digital music players. “And like iPods and nanos, tapes were also a really portable music technology.”

Who needs an iTunes store on their iPod any ways? You can't even download songs from MP3 blogs on to your iPhones or iPod touches.

Order one here.