HIPSTER RUNOFF

[Photo via Lookbook]

Dear Mom,
I h8 how u do not 'get' me 1 bit. U need 2 pay attention 2 me so that u don't end up looking like a dumbass shitface who 'doesn't care about her son' when u try to do something nice 4 me. Recently, u went to a local Best Buy to get me a meaningful gift to go with last Christmas's Macbook stocking stuffer. U decided 2 get me an iPod touch.

First of all... I already have an iPhone. Totally don't need an iPod touch. s00 dumb. U srsly should NOT be alive. U need 2 read more actual publications on the internet instead of reading the local paper from 2 years ago. U think ur smart because u 'have a career' but the shit u do is meaningless, and I would srsly slit my own throat and wrists if I had 2 do what u do every day. There's more to 'life' than ur version of life--I wish u could see it my way so that you'd understand my most recent personal brand implementation.

I SRSLY JUST TOOK A BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS I AM SO PISSED OFF AT LIFE. /////

N e ways, Just wanted 2 let u know that record players are the new iPods. Just a more 'organic' feeling when ur listening to music. Like ur closer to the artist. (I might also give up my iPhone and only use pay phones.)

I h8 the idea of
1) purchasing mp3s
2) being 'so portable' just like every1 else
3) co-branding myself with white earbuds
4) having some ghey-metallic coloured iPod
5) being 'so connected' with a wifi connection
6) the audio quality isn't authentic
7) Apple is a BULL SHIT MONOPOLY
8) The recent Apple product recall because Steve Jobs's disease 'contaminated' a bunch of product lines

Record players are the future bc U have to make a decision about 'where u want to be' and make sure that your apartment/room/space is extra meaningful. It's also more difficult to 'collect vinyls' than it is to collect mp3s, so it makes you 'love music' more that typical people.

I wish u'd realize how 'out' iPods are. They are for high schoolers and overgrown tweens. Do u really think I look like this guy?

[Photo via Easy Fashion]

/// h8 the shit out of u, mom
/// we used to be 'bros' right after dad 'left us'
/// but now I am finally seeing
/// that I was the 1 worth leaving.

Love,
your altSon

PS: can u leave me some pizza money 4 the weekend?

Check out these iPod Nano cases made by Contexture. So maybe you feel like iPod Touches are not worth it, or you feel enslaved by a second generation Nano that you got just a few months ago. For only $45, you can upgrade to have a really interesting take on your iPod Nano. Apparently they are working on a design for the new, smaller Nano models.

“Reusing an old music medium to protect technology that surpassed it really resonates with us as music fans and sustainable designers,” says Trevor Coghill, Contexture Design co-founder.

“Before iTunes’ playlists, people made mix tapes,” says founding partner Nathan Lee of the similarities between cassettes and digital music players. “And like iPods and nanos, tapes were also a really portable music technology.”

Who needs an iTunes store on their iPod any ways? You can't even download songs from MP3 blogs on to your iPhones or iPod touches.

Order one here.