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EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE: Beyonce and Jay-Z release first pictures of their fake baby! (4 comments) |
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GRAPHIC PHOTO: Cults lead singer Brian Oblivion suffers severe 3rd degree burns to face (5 comments) |
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NYTimes calls Lana Del Rey 'a skinnier Adele'. Do they h8 fatties? (19 comments) |
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Bon Iver's Justin Vernon apologizes 2 Carles. Has he won the first battle against the Corrupt Indie Machine? (13 comments) |
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I Am Carles Returns with LIMITED EDISH VALENTINE'S DAY shirt. (17 comments) |
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Madonna says M.I.A. ruined her show, is 'a stupid teenager' (8 comments) |
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Alexis Krauss shows off her BANGIN BOD in GQ Magazine. She truly is 'Sexi Lexi.' (18 comments) |
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"BUZZ BANDS" was a category on Jeopardy. Have BUZZ BANDS crossed over 2 the mnstrm? (15 comments) |
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Tyler the Creator spotted bronoodling with 'this nigga' Kanye West. Are Big Thangs Poppin? (11 comments) |
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LANAMANIA hits Los Angeles, frenzied fans begin sobbing in Lana Del Rey's presence (36 comments) |
Quirky actor Jason Schwartzman and wife Brady Cunningham welcomed a baby daughter, Marlowe Rivers Schwartzman, on Dec. 4 in Los Angeles, a rep for the couple tells PEOPLE.
Max Fischer
I remember when u came in2 my life
I was a young alt/formative alt
with my entire life ahead of me
Just learning abt 'indie'
'indie film'
'criterion collections'
'vintage'
and other alternative aesthetics that would guide me towards
the pursuit of modern authenticity.
Ur character, young Max, represented a desire 2 overachieve
2 become a 'jack of all trades' within the context of my local high school
Being 'creative, successful, quirky', and most importantly, searching 4 meaning in life
U were my bro, Max
U = me = alt
But then I realized u were played by an actor named Jason Schwartzman
and I sorta just followed the ups and downs of ur career
even though u already played the 'defining character' of ur life
at age 17
I read wikipedia 2 learn a little bit more abt u
and how u became Max Fischer
Cast directors considered 1,800 teenagers from the United States, Canada, and Britain for the role of Max Fischer before finding Jason Schwartzman In October 1997, approximately a month before principal photography was to begin, a casting director for the film met the 17-year-old actor at a party thanks to his cousin and filmmaker Sofia Coppola. He came to his audition wearing a prep-school blazer and a Rushmore patch he had made himself.
So you've grown up
You married some broad named Brady Cunningham
U seem like an authentic alternative couple
living a meaningful life that most middle-class alts will never get to experience
I heard u had a baby
named "Marlowe Rivers Schwartzman"
Congrats
I hope u can still be an indie actor
and that Marlowe doesn't become a 'drag' on ur time + creativity
But anyways, enough about the celebration of life
Rushmore was made in 1998
U were 17 years old
How old am I now?
How many years have gone by?
What have I done with my life?
Sometimes I feel like I am still Max Fischer
Like I am still in metaphorical high school
and there's still time to pursue my creative passions
Like I will evolve, experience loss, eventually find meaning
But there was never really a Max Fish
Jason Schwartzman realized that, and left Max behind
becoming a 'grown ass man'
getting married
having a child
It seems like there are moments in life
where u 'realize ur age'
and say 'wow. I'm a grown ass (man/woman)'
People start getting married
Friends start getting pregnant
Random ppl from ur High School start dying of random things
"I'm an adult."
"I'm a grown ass man."
"I am no longer a child."
"I have no incentive 2 be a dreamer any more. It is time 2 get a mainstream mediocre middle class job and try to move out of my parents' house and into my own crappy apartment in a shady area."
It's time to grow up
if Max Fischer can do it
so can I
R u an 'adult'?
Do most 20somethings still think that they are 'kids'?
Do 'successful people' have a foundation that is similar to a mainstream nuclear family?
Will u get married + have kids soon?
When u look at Jason Schwartzman, do u still see his 17 year old movie character?
Can Jason Schwartzman find a way to play some1 in the Batman/Spiderman/Superman/LordoftheRings/Twilight/Harry Potter franchises, or is his style 'too niche' to for mainstream audiences?
Do u ever feel like every1 around u is 'growing up' but ur still a child/teen/21 year old on the inside?
At what age do ppl stop maturing?
Is 'growing old' 4 mainstreamers?
Jason Schwartzman is the poster boy of the indie era (besides maybe Zach Braff).
I recently read that Jason Schwartzman got married to a 'regular person' named the Brady Cunningham. I am not sure how to feel. I don't really feel that Jason Schwartzman is a 'real person.' I often pretend that he is the characterBros that he plays in movies, as if he is no different off screen than he is on screen. Because of this, I feel like many mainstream/malstream girls 'want to date a keut Jew-y indie boy' because of their 'infatuation with the indie aesthetic.'
Not sure how I feel about Jason Schwartzman. Feels weird that he married a 'regular person.' I wonder if a famous/altFamous person still has something in common with 'normal people.' Maybe they just need some1 who will help them to stay 'humble' or something/in touch with humanity.
Seems like I would have imagined him with some actress trying to 'piggyback' on his personal brand as a meaningful musician/actor.
Or possibly some 'hot mainstream ass'
Feel like if his career 'tanked', he might have become some sort of 'lovechild' of a relevant artist/director/CEO of Fortune 500 company
Can't believe JSchwartz is 'off the market.' Feeling sad, as if I will never get to chill with him, and pretend that he is still 'Max Fischer' and ask him questions about his movie roles as if he actually 'lived that life.' Feeling down. I heard that bros 'change' once they get married, like they are 40-90% 'less chill.'
Sorta wish SchwarBro married an alt-it girl, kinda like BenGibbard + Zooey Deschanel, or Green Ags and Ham, or even Devandy Barnie and Nattie Portman. It seems like it might be good for your alternative celebrity personal brand to 'be in a relaish' with another person who has indie credibility.
R u sad that this 'indie icon' has grown up (and so have u)?
Is it 'fair' to assume that actors are the exact same ppl as they play in the movies [via Heath Ledger]?
Should famous ppl get married in order to 'find love' or to 'advance their careers by creating brand synergy'?
Do u think that Jason Schwartzman's life will always be a disappointment because he didn't play ________ in the Royal Tenenbaums?
Jason Schwartzman is the poster boy of the indie era (besides maybe Zach Braff).
THESE ARE RELEVANT MUSIC VIDEOS + ANALYSIS BY THE BLOGGER, CARLES
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Video: Dirty Projectors - Stillness is the Move
Analysis: I feel pressured to blog about this because they are apparently 'relevant' even though I don't really 'get' why. Feel like I don't 'trust' people who 'ooze praise' for the Dirty Projecties. I am not sure what this video is 'trying to be.' Think it is trying to be conceptual/artsy, but then also trying to be 'normal.' Probably like trying to trick mainstreamers into thinking that the Dirty Projector is 'the next Feist.' Feel like this video 'looks worse than Bat for Lashes' in terms of 'forced conceptuality.'
I feel like the girls in the Dirty Projectors are 'high level altbaguettes' who u have a 'very strong personal brand' in your local scene. Ur not really sure why they are 'desired' or 'respected', but then you find out that they are 'in some crappy band' and their roles within the band are 'questionable'. like you 'went to a show where one of them just played the tambourine' or something. You and your friends 'share their myspace page' as a 'very funny inside joke' because you think their songs/pictures/listed_influences are 'very funnie/terrible.' Then the next thing u know, they are 'being blogged about+praised for 'amazing pop sensibilities'' and u feel like u 'might as well off urself.'
Sort of just want to go to a Dirty Projjies show just to 'hear this song' and watch people 'overtly acknowledge' that this is 'the single' by 'doing slinky dances' to this song.
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Video: Wavves - No Hope Kids
Analysis: This video was made from 'meaningful footage' as a filmmaker bro followed Wavves across his European tour. Wonder if it was sort of like 'Almost Famous' with an indie musician. Not sure if there was a scoop. From what I have read, Wavves is 'shatted upon' by other artists in his genre. Think that they think he is 'faking his gimmick' or something, while they 'actually live the lifestyle.' Think that this video is 'sweet' because they do things like 'smoke bowls of marijuana.' Hope that Wavves' brand is still 'marketable' after this video/his 'meltdown.'
Another great thing about this video is that it really captures the essence of 'going to a concert in your local venue' and feeling like the other members of the audience 'seriously crawled up from the sewer' to 'mosh around.' Feels weird to go to 'sewer people' shows, but also sort of 'authentic.'
Are yall 'going 2 get a summer Wavves haircut'?
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Video: Coconut Records - Any Fun
Analysis: It is important to note that 'Chloe Sevigny is in this video', thereby making this video 250% 'more bloggable.' It is overall a 'krappy video.' Think they have 'old cameras' and filmed 'normal people' doing 'boring stuff' while attempting to 'make it look beautiful.' Not sure if Chloe Sevigny is 'still hot.' She might have to transition her personal brand into 'being an elegant elder alt' soon.
Feel like Jason Schwartzman could 'make anything' and it would 'look kewl' because he was in 'one of the most important alt movies' of all time.
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Video: MSTRKRFT - Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend)
Analysis: I never listend to MSTRKRFT's latest album 'Fist of God' because I assumed that it was 'all banger' or something 'thick and unlistenable.' But then I saw them perform this song on Letterman, and thought it was 'pretty good.' Feel like I like it in the same way that I 'enjoy a remix' but this is 'the original version.' That statement possibly 'does not make sense to 38% of readers' who are not students of the remix economy. Think that the lyrics are 'possibly terrible' but still 'redeeming' in a 'simple way.'
I enjoy this video, because it is about a Mexi family who owns a bodega. A group of white bros come in, and 1 bro is 'meaningfully attracted' to the hot daughter cashier. Think it is supposed to give minorities hope that they too can be courted by an uppermiddle class alt guy who is 'ironically' buying alcohol at ur bodega since they 'serve minors' and also 'serve all night.' The lazy mexi father 'falls asleep' and when he wakes up, 'verbally abuses' his daughter for letting the bros 'run wild' while she 'chases alt white cock.' Not sure if she will get a college education.
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Video: All Leather - I Don't Hate Fags, God Does
Analysis: Think this video is sort of supposed to 'go viral' some how. It is depicting Jesus 'Last Supper' except with dark, demented, rave-culture-like elements. It is supposed to 'shock you.' When I saw it 'I kinda chuckled', and fast fowarded around. Saw a 'bunny' and also 'some people fucking.' Then thought about 'the kind of people who actually like that music.' Feels weird to think that people 'made' that music. Ultimately, I would just say that this product is for 'weird faggots' like something that 'Adam Lambert would think is cool' or something.
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Video: Sonic Youth - Sacred Trickster
Analysis: This is a video about 'female cunts who want to be in a band', I think. I think it is supposed to be a straightforward metaphor about 'dressing up' to seem famous/relevant/indie/authentic, but possibly 'being hollow' and 'constructed by consumer choices.' Seems straightforward. Not sure about Sonic Youth. Think they were 'good' back in the 80s/90s or something, but wonder if they are 'a 1 trick pony.'
Think I went through a phase of 'listening to Sonic Youth' but think it was back when I was 'trying too hard to love alt music.' They are possibly 'just okay' but ultimately a product that GenXers should probably 'authentically enjoy.' Don't know much about 'music' so they are possibly 'very influencial' but think I am going to start 'saying that I don't think Sonic Youth is very good' in conversations just to have a 'cutting edge' opinion. Not sure if the song in this video is 'even any good.'
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Have yall seen n e [HIGHLY BLGGBLE] Music videos lately?
Wes Anderson is a film director and writer who makes movies that are highly-stylized and whimsical. He is widely regarded as one of the leaders of the American Indie film movement with Zachary Braff, Paul Thomas Anderson, Bill Murray, and Michael Bay. Anyways, he made 'The Royal Tenenbaums' and 'Rushmore' and some movie about a train ride thru India and maybe some other movies that didn't do as well. He has some new movie called Moonrise Kingdom.
The movie seems to be about two quirky tweens who run away from home. Anderson seems to be 'completely effing obsessed' with childhood, eager 2 tell the world that in a way, we are all still children pretending 2 be adults in this crazy, cray world.
It has an 'all-star cast' of mnstrm celebs who wanna ride Bill Murray waves and get alt film notoriety by collabing with Wes Anderson.
Co-written with Roman Coppola and starring Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Harvey Keitel, the story is set in Anderson-stylized 1960s New England, and follows a young boy and young girl who fall in love and run away together, turning their small town upside down in the process. Yes, it's reminiscent of much we've seen from Anderson, yet it feels alive and fresh, with a whole new world we're eager to explore.
U have to wonder if that young tween boy who plays the 'lead' in the film is the next Jason Schwartzman, ending up with a career where every1 expects him to play 'that quirky kid from that Wes Anderson film' then he just ends up acting in Wes Anderson films his entire life. :-(
R u gonna go see Moonrise Kingdom?
Does Wes Anderson 'still have it' or is he past his prime?
Does he need to make 'new kinds of movies'?
Is he telling the same story ovr and ovr again?
Does he want 2 be a child again?
Are the Coen Brothers and P.T. Anderson 'in a whole different stratosphere'?
Does this movie look 'good' or just 'quirkie and pointless'?
R u gonna go to the cinemaplex 2 see this, or do u only vibe 2 #3D_movies? #Avatars
Wes Anderson is a popular indie filmmaker & director who directed the hit films Rushmore, The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tanenabombs, and Lost in Garden State.
Photo via the Superfish
Jason Schwartzman is known as one of the indie-est child stars in the history of the world. He peaked in the hit film "Rushmore" and has been trying to rediscover his pure indie acting skills ever since. You might remember that he usually has straight hair, but now it seems like he let his curly curlies out 2 see the sun instead of ironing them. Do u think he looks better with curls, or with straight hair?
Remember the human meme Charlie Sheen? FOr some reason he is also hanging out in this picture, driving race cars. I wonder what it is like for him to go from being the highest paid actor in television to working with some former indie movie star.
Is Jschwartz still relevant?
Which is more alt: curly or straight?
Should get get man bangs?
Should he do 'mad blow' with Charlie Sheen?
Do u still say 'WINNING!'?
Do u still want 2 bang JScwartz?
Jason Schwartzman is the poster boy of the indie era (besides maybe Zach Braff).
Jason Schwartzman is an alt actor who starred in Rushmore. He is sorta like the alt version of Macaulay Culkin [via Home Alone] because no1 really wanted him to grow up, and no matter how old he gets, every1 still imagines him as Maxwell Fischer, the lovable dreamer from Wes Anderson's Rushmores film. Basically, Bill Murray and JSchwartz have been 'coasting' off solid performances in that movie for the past decade.
Anyways, kinda worried abt JSchwartz. Recently, he starred in the BOMB movie called Scott Pilgrim Vs The World : The Michael Cera Chronicles. Now it seems like he is in this iPad commercial. Kinda wish I could build a time machine, and travel back in time with the knowledge of indie films that I have now. Basically would have made sure he was in every possible hit indie film. Garden State, Lost In Transitions, Avatar, and even probably would have got him cast as Iron Man / Spider Man.
Gotta admit, he was in a tough position cuz he probably 'nailed' his best role when he was 9 years old, but kinda wish he had gone mad mainstream so he wouldn't have to 'overthink' his participation in non-alt movies. Would rather have seen him evolve into an action star / romantic comedy zany love interest+bff instead of preserving his brand as an alt icon. Sad to see him in a magazine iPad app commercial
Not even sure what 'The New Yorker' is or if it is relevant. If I had to guess, it is probably part of the New York Times blog website, and they are trying to launch an iPad app to appeal 2 young ppl since magazines and newspapers are dying.
Did yall see his peen in this video? Do u think his schlong will help sell apps? Will 'apps' save the newspaper magazine industry?
Does this iPad app interface seem 'effing sweet'?
Is iPad gonna replace 'paper' / 'real computers' in 2k14?
Is this commercial authentic, or did Jason Schwartzman 'mortgage his brand' for a few ad dollars?
Are 'high end viral web shorts' the most authentic brand of commercials?
Is JSchwartz 'hot'?
Do u read the New Yorker Times, or do u just chill on CNN.com/USAToday.paper-edish?
Do u feel sad about the 'Wes Anderson Curse' where former stars in his movies are forced to peddle technology in commercials 2 save their careers? [via Luke Wilson AT&T commercial]
Jason Schwartzman is the poster boy of the indie era (besides maybe Zach Braff).
Michael Cera is one of the worst actors of our generation who has been grandfathered into the genre of mainstream quirky meaningful indie bro comedy films. Not sure what he brings to the table as an actor. He sort of just stands their and looks like 'a lil indie hipster from 2004' and says quirky stuff, then asks girls to like him. Then the girl finally realizes, 'well, if I date a pussie, at least I can control him and keep him addicted 2 my pussie.' Feel like he has set back the male species genre at least 1000 years. Guess this movie is supposed to be his 'breakout' role, maybe.
Do yall think he can 'carry' a film, or is it just the same boring, unfunny humor that usually flops? Is he a 'dynamic actor'?
How many 'crappy quirky indie movie cliches' does this movie have in it?
Do u wish u could throw down a chill with Macaulay Culkin's brother, or do u want the real Mac Daddy?
Apparently Scott Pilgrim Vs The World is a quirky modern comic book / graphic novel series. Not sure who reads this type of crap. Feel like they should probably 'grow the fuck up' and stop living in a dream world. I feel like the same type of ppl who live in a world where Owl City 'sounds like magic' probably read this.
Not sure why Jason Schwartzman agreed to be in this film. I feel like he shoulda retired after "Rushmore" maybe. Feel like maybe he needs some cash, and 'mainstream indie filmmakers' will always be eager to exploit his brand.
Do u think Michael Cera's career is gonna be 'over' after he goes thru puberty?
Does this film look 'awesome', bringing together the organic elements of the graphic novel with a unique style?
Will this movie 'flop'?
Will this movie be the next Spiderman/Iron Man?
Will Michael Cera/Jason Schwartzman win a 'best actor' oscar within the next 50 years? (not counting MTV movie awards)
Have yall ever fingered a girl in a movie theatre, as a shitty movie played in the background while she climaxed?
Michael Cera is an alt actor whose movies flops and he basically plays himself ovr and ovr again in every movie.
Read more>>>>
Jason Schwartzman is the poster boy of the indie era (besides maybe Zach Braff).
