Not sure how I feel about Jason Schwartzman. Feels weird that he married a ‘regular person.’ I wonder if a famous/altFamous person still has something in common with ‘normal people.’ Maybe they just need some1 who will help them to stay ‘humble’ or something/in touch with humanity.

Seems like I would have imagined him with some actress trying to ‘piggyback’ on his personal brand as a meaningful musician/actor.

Or possibly some ‘hot mainstream ass’

Feel like if his career ‘tanked’, he might have become some sort of ‘lovechild’ of a relevant artist/director/CEO of Fortune 500 company

Can’t believe JSchwartz is ‘off the market.’ Feeling sad, as if I will never get to chill with him, and pretend that he is still ‘Max Fischer’ and ask him questions about his movie roles as if he actually ‘lived that life.’ Feeling down. I heard that bros ‘change’ once they get married, like they are 40-90% ‘less chill.’

Sorta wish SchwarBro married an alt-it girl, kinda like BenGibbard + Zooey Deschanel, or Green Ags and Ham, or even Devandy Barnie and Nattie Portman. It seems like it might be good for your alternative celebrity personal brand to ‘be in a relaish’ with another person who has indie credibility.

R u sad that this ‘indie icon’ has grown up (and so have u)?
Is it ‘fair’ to assume that actors are the exact same ppl as they play in the movies [via Heath Ledger]?
Should famous ppl get married in order to ‘find love’ or to ‘advance their careers by creating brand synergy’?
Do u think that Jason Schwartzman’s life will always be a disappointment because he didn’t play ________ in the Royal Tenenbaums?

Video: Dirty Projectors – Stillness is the Move

Analysis: I feel pressured to blog about this because they are apparently ‘relevant’ even though I don’t really ‘get’ why. Feel like I don’t ‘trust’ people who ‘ooze praise’ for the Dirty Projecties. I am not sure what this video is ‘trying to be.’ Think it is trying to be conceptual/artsy, but then also trying to be ‘normal.’ Probably like trying to trick mainstreamers into thinking that the Dirty Projector is ‘the next Feist.’ Feel like this video ‘looks worse than Bat for Lashes’ in terms of ‘forced conceptuality.’

I feel like the girls in the Dirty Projectors are ‘high level altbaguettes’ who u have a ‘very strong personal brand’ in your local scene. Ur not really sure why they are ‘desired’ or ‘respected’, but then you find out that they are ‘in some crappy band’ and their roles within the band are ‘questionable’. like you ‘went to a show where one of them just played the tambourine’ or something. You and your friends ’share their myspace page’ as a ‘very funny inside joke’ because you think their songs/pictures/listed_influences are ‘very funnie/terrible.’ Then the next thing u know, they are ‘being blogged about+praised for ‘amazing pop sensibilities” and u feel like u ‘might as well off urself.’

Sort of just want to go to a Dirty Projjies show just to ‘hear this song’ and watch people ‘overtly acknowledge’ that this is ‘the single’ by ‘doing slinky dances’ to this song.

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Video: Wavves – No Hope Kids

Analysis: This video was made from ‘meaningful footage’ as a filmmaker bro followed Wavves across his European tour. Wonder if it was sort of like ‘Almost Famous’ with an indie musician. Not sure if there was a scoop. From what I have read, Wavves is ’shatted upon’ by other artists in his genre. Think that they think he is ‘faking his gimmick’ or something, while they ‘actually live the lifestyle.’ Think that this video is ’sweet’ because they do things like ’smoke bowls of marijuana.’ Hope that Wavves’ brand is still ‘marketable’ after this video/his ‘meltdown.’

Another great thing about this video is that it really captures the essence of ‘going to a concert in your local venue’ and feeling like the other members of the audience ’seriously crawled up from the sewer’ to ‘mosh around.’ Feels weird to go to ’sewer people’ shows, but also sort of ‘authentic.’

Are yall ‘going 2 get a summer Wavves haircut’?

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Video: Coconut Records – Any Fun

Analysis: It is important to note that ‘Chloe Sevigny is in this video’, thereby making this video 250% ‘more bloggable.’ It is overall a ‘krappy video.’ Think they have ‘old cameras’ and filmed ‘normal people’ doing ‘boring stuff’ while attempting to ‘make it look beautiful.’ Not sure if Chloe Sevigny is ’still hot.’ She might have to transition her personal brand into ‘being an elegant elder alt’ soon.

Feel like Jason Schwartzman could ‘make anything’ and it would ‘look kewl’ because he was in ‘one of the most important alt movies’ of all time.

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Video: MSTRKRFT – Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend)

Analysis: I never listend to MSTRKRFT’s latest album ‘Fist of God’ because I assumed that it was ‘all banger’ or something ‘thick and unlistenable.’ But then I saw them perform this song on Letterman, and thought it was ‘pretty good.’ Feel like I like it in the same way that I ‘enjoy a remix’ but this is ‘the original version.’ That statement possibly ‘does not make sense to 38% of readers’ who are not students of the remix economy. Think that the lyrics are ‘possibly terrible’ but still ‘redeeming’ in a ’simple way.’

I enjoy this video, because it is about a Mexi family who owns a bodega. A group of white bros come in, and 1 bro is ‘meaningfully attracted’ to the hot daughter cashier. Think it is supposed to give minorities hope that they too can be courted by an uppermiddle class alt guy who is ‘ironically’ buying alcohol at ur bodega since they ’serve minors’ and also ’serve all night.’ The lazy mexi father ‘falls asleep’ and when he wakes up, ‘verbally abuses’ his daughter for letting the bros ‘run wild’ while she ‘chases alt white cock.’ Not sure if she will get a college education.

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Video: All Leather – I Don’t Hate Fags, God Does

Analysis: Think this video is sort of supposed to ‘go viral’ some how. It is depicting Jesus ‘Last Supper’ except with dark, demented, rave-culture-like elements. It is supposed to ’shock you.’ When I saw it ‘I kinda chuckled’, and fast fowarded around. Saw a ‘bunny’ and also ’some people fucking.’ Then thought about ‘the kind of people who actually like that music.’ Feels weird to think that people ‘made’ that music. Ultimately, I would just say that this product is for ‘weird faggots’ like something that ‘Adam Lambert would think is cool’ or something.

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Video: Sonic Youth – Sacred Trickster

Analysis: This is a video about ‘female cunts who want to be in a band’, I think. I think it is supposed to be a straightforward metaphor about ‘dressing up’ to seem famous/relevant/indie/authentic, but possibly ‘being hollow’ and ‘constructed by consumer choices.’ Seems straightforward. Not sure about Sonic Youth. Think they were ‘good’ back in the 80s/90s or something, but wonder if they are ‘a 1 trick pony.’

Think I went through a phase of ‘listening to Sonic Youth’ but think it was back when I was ‘trying too hard to love alt music.’ They are possibly ‘just okay’ but ultimately a product that GenXers should probably ‘authentically enjoy.’ Don’t know much about ‘music’ so they are possibly ‘very influencial’ but think I am going to start ’saying that I don’t think Sonic Youth is very good’ in conversations just to have a ‘cutting edge’ opinion. Not sure if the song in this video is ‘even any good.’

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Have yall seen n e [HIGHLY BLGGBLE] Music videos lately?

Do u have any altJew role models?

Max Fisher [via Jason Schwartzman]?

Chromeo Bro and A-trak?

Mark “The Cobra Guy” Hunter?

Or Natalie “From the Garden States of America” Portman?

Not sure how I feel about altJews. Need yall 2 comment so that I can ’steal an opinion’ from yall.
Are Jews the alt-est group of peoples on the planet?
Are Jews inherently alt/alt-er than all of us?

2k9: Finding out out that there are more ppl on this Earth than just whites, blacks, yellows, and browns–there are subgroups. (i have a G.E.D.–graduated early to get to design school).

Do yall think DJ AM is srsly ‘the chosen 1′?

I guess it wasn’t that new ‘viral marketing’ technique thingy.

http://hotelchevalier.com/

It’s a free iTunes download of a 13 minute prequel of The Darjeeling Limited. HOTEL CHEVALIER stars Natalie Portman and Jason Schwartzman.

Hopefully a Natalie Portman nude scene means she will break out of her post-Garden State type-casted persona.
Overall, I don’t think she really fits in. Maybe I just feel uncomfortable with the way Wes Anderson handles sexuality.

Is this more satisfying to bloggers than the Meg White sex tape?