Swoopy Bangs.
Plaid. Stripes. V-necks.
Sunglasses.
Scarves.
Jeans of every colour/texture/style.
Lil jackets.
Remnants of the electro era mixed with an overall vibe of the purgatoryAlt.
Angry Mulatto Men in the Background.

I remember when I made a pie chart that attempting to break down the Altino Tribe of Humans.

I am not sure if 3rd World Alts/Mexicalts/Altinos/Latin Americalts are ‘growing up’ and catching on to new trends, or if they are sort of stuck with a tween-like perception of the alternative aesthetic. Wonder if the Altino in 10 years will look like the altbro circa 2k7.

Sometimes I sorta take for granted the mainstreamification of alternative trends. Like I never even take the time 2 genuinely appreciate it any more. The way I used to dress 1-20 years ago is being implemented by tweens and forever-young-post-tweens.

I made this graph in 2k8. How do yall think it has changed in the past year?

Just so weird how the 3rd worlders are such laggards when it comes to trend adoption. Do u know if they have Macbooks in those countries?
Worried about 2k10. What if I become a ‘laggard’ and some new form of human/blog/RSS feed is able to consume trends faster than me?
What if the chillwave genre was the last great moment where alts ‘chewed up and spat out’ a trend in record time? #the_glofi_movement
What if chillwave was just a ‘consumer trend’ and not an actual ‘movement’?

worried abt 2012…

Previous Mexicalt Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/the-crowning-achievement-of-mexicaltsaltinos.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/part-of-the-altino-nvr-dies.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/all-i-ever-wanted-was-a-mexicalt-with-a-progressive-pokemon-haircut.html

Apparently the famous African American rapper ‘Kanye West’ interrupted some little white girl (Taylor Swift) when she won a prize at a fake awards show which celebrates mainstream music videos (hosted by the Music Television Channel ). From what I understand, the concept/goal of an Awards Show hosted by a television networks is to ‘create content’, where ’something that gets the whole world talking’ can happen since you are bringing together some of the world’s most famous/volatile people. Viewers tune in, expecting to ’see the unexpected’ and sometime the network manages to ‘create’ bloggable/reflectable moments. Ultimately, the brand of the tv network becomes ‘more relevant’ based upon how much content they can produce.

From what I have read, Kanye West walked on stage to interrupt her acceptance speech, making it clear that Beyonce Knowles had one of the best music videos in the history of art + video + media.  It seemed like she reacted as most white women react when a black man approaches them, since she metaphorically ‘clenched on to her purse tighter than ever before’ [via black man passing u on the streets].

I disagree with Kanye West’s message (but wholeheartedly approve of his actions)–Beyonce’s video is nothing special. It seems like it is just African American women showing off their figures and ‘getting they dance on’ for the world. I am bad at ‘valuing dance’ as a legitimate artform because I feel like if I wanted to ’see dance’, I would go to a ‘titty bar’ to see some ‘live, nude breasts shaking’ and bodies contorting in a sexual fashion, directly simulating the act of sex. The video seems like it was just a marketing gimmick, attempting to create a ‘dance craze’ and also possibly some sort of feminist propaganda anthem, which accidentally reinforced the concept of ‘marriage’ as a gateway to a perfect life.

Since Kanye West is a ‘cool black person’, Taylor Swift probably thought he was going to do something to make her ’seem cooler’, but then he ‘took a shit’ on her perceived sense of self within the entertainment industry.

It seems like ‘American citizens’ are ‘deeply disturbed’ by Kanye West’s actions, and can take one of the following viewpoints on his behavior:

• He was right, but u have 2 pretend it is real cuz she’s a white lil girl who is taking showbiz seriously. U have no right to ruin this 4 her.
• Kanye West is a bully.
• Kanye West is ‘a fucking retard’/'jack ass.’
• Kanye West is African American/slur word for African-American which would inherently explain his actions.
• ‘Aww… Poor thing.’
• ‘Team Taylor! Let’s boycott buying the records of black ppl.’
• ‘I think I will vlog about this to get youtube hits.’
• Taylor Swift ‘deserved her moment.’  She did not need 2 have her reality harassed by this “negroid.”
• I am ‘above’ reacting to this event.
• I ‘understand’ what Kanye West has gone through in life, but I am a human, so I will still ‘hold him accountable’ 4 being a ‘meanie head.’
• Taylor Swift represents everything that is wrong with show business and the arts. We must respect Kanye West and his neverending quest to express his true self to the real world. He is genuinely trying to transcend fame, pop culture, and the arts. No one will ever understand him. He is truly the most artistic person in the world, and when he goes on tour with Lady Gaga, we will finally experience art that is on the same level as the greats like Andy Warhol, Michael Jackson, and Michael Jordan.

I do not believe that Taylor Swift ‘deserved to have her moment.’ It doesn’t matter how young she is, and we do not need to enable her sick perspective on the world. While she has a sweet exterior, possibly ‘more talent’ than the traditional Disney-mafia star, and an ability to ‘handle’ everything ‘with grace’, we have to understand that we are harming these manufactured pop stars by continuing to let them exist. Many of them will have identity crises where they turn to substance abuse + sexual experimentation when their whole world comes crashing down around them.

When I look into their eyes, I srsly feel like there is ‘evil’ inside of these people.

It seems like it is beneficial for these Disney stars to ‘believe in the Lord’, because believing that a higher power ‘gifted  them’ with this ‘opportunity’ to touch the lives’ of millions of tweens [via the power of music] would be the only way for some one to take their absurd job so seriously. It seems important to remember that these tween stars are possibly ‘mentally ill’ in ways that make them highly functional within the entertainment world.  I feel like I will finally ‘like’ the Jonas Brothers when they have a reality show when they are in their mid-30s, similar to Corey Feldman and Corey Haim’s show “The Two Coreys”, a show about two child stars who still have a very stupid perspective on the world (and are recovering addicts).

I was alarmed when Beyonce bypassed her own acceptance speech and ‘called Taylor back on stage’ so that she could ‘complete her speech’, and Taylor Swift failed to realize that it ‘was still a fake award’ + failed to realize that ’she was just involved in a meme that could have been taken to the next level by indirectly calling Kanye West the n-word.’  Instead, she ‘carried on’ with her generic speech/theme [via thank yall], as if ‘everything was made right’ and ‘honor’ was restored to the Awards show/the Entertainment hierarchy.  It honestly seems like there is ’something mentally wrong with her’ to ‘fail to recognize the magnitude of the moment she is in.’  I do not like this moment, because people in the ‘Entertainment World’ actually think they are ‘real people’ with ‘real feelings’ in this clip.

My fave part of this video is at 1:29 when Perez Hilton ‘puts his hand over his heart, as if he is watching ‘a truly meaningful moment.’

While many people believe that Kanye didn’t deserve to ‘ruin her moment’, they are neglecting to remember how much they ‘h88888 pop culture’ and how it’s ’suuuch a guilty please to consume gossip blogs and the E! network.’  Do u remember when it was trendy/insightful to have a cutting edge opinion on ‘what a terrible person Paris Hilton is’ and link it to ‘the deterioration of the moral fabric of our society’? It seems like this Kanyegate 3.0 moment will always be remembered as when tweens learned that it was ‘okay’ to treat celebrity entertainment like it was ‘real news’ instead of gradually learning sports+entertainment are more fun to consume than ‘important news’ over the course of their lives’.

It seems like if ppl really wanted to ’stop caring about the practice of turning the actions of rich+famous people into coverable news’, they would have embraced Kanye ‘taking a shit on this white girl.’

If I had black skin, I would be insanely ashamed of Beyonce Knowles for ‘giving Taylor Swift’ her spotlight. The truth is, if you want to sell albums in the modern world, you must appeal to the white tween. All apologies issued in thie ‘controversy’ are meant to appease the white tween. You cannot cross the white tweens (note: minority tweens enjoy pretending to be white, as well). If you ‘piss them off’, they will not buy your mp3 on iTunes, or use their Best Buy gift certificate to purchase your album. They will not go to your concert. They will tweet about you, but it will not be positive. It seems like some1 should create an acronym with the same dark connotations that “W.A.S.P” has, except for White.Tweens.

As a society, we must come together and root for Kanye West to continue to create content & headlines. While he is genuinely pursuing greatness, his narcissistic qualities will surely lead to his premature death. This is more than about needing ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’ to create conflict and news. We need a stream of content that we can continually reflect upon. This is why we miss Michael Jackson so much, we had the opportunity to have fun watching him fall apart together. It was legitimately a bullying process that rallied all humans together. It didn’t matter how smart or how dumb u were, there was something inherently funny about making fun of Michael Jackson’s racial, sexual, and social identity. A type of humor that transcended educational levels and class divisions.

If you analyze Taylor Swift’s ‘award winning video,’ you will realize that it is a ‘fucking sham.’ I think the gimmick/theme of the song, is supposed to be some sort of plea to a boy to like her because she has a beautiful+interesting+creative soul instead of the generic ‘hot ass cheerleader type.’

It seems like this video is supposed to appeal to ‘tweens who feel left out’/like they don’t ‘fit in.’ It is a song about sexual desire and obsession over one perfect boy, declaring that he ‘belongs to you.’ You are entitled to him. Feel good about who you are, because if he really got 2 know u, he would love u 4 all of the right reasons. Concepts like these lead to teenage obesity since kids are told that some1 will like them for ‘what’s inside.’ They neglect to take care of their health, and eventually become mopey college students who sit around in a ‘dreamworld’ waiting on their modern Prince Charmbro.

I prefer Beyonce’s  artsy booty video to Taylor Swift’s high school puff piece.

Do u sometimes like 2 get drunk just 2 ’see what happens’? [via alcoholism]

We must applaud Kanye for silencing the sweet,  yet poisonous essence of Taylor Swift.
Kanye West is a simple, raw human being. When it comes to ‘love and relationships’, he is not interested in creating some sort of meaningful quirky bullshit. He is a man who wants ass and titties. He is an honest man.

We must accept Kanye West as the true heir to the King of Pop–not because of his talent or his artistic interpretation of the world, but because of his ability to create content. He can rapidly produce albums as well as public incidents that are indicative of a deeply troubled human being. He transcends ‘right and wrong’ because he truly ‘acts from the heart/soul’ in a world where most people are too smart/deliberate/PR-managed to act upon their emotions. We must encourage him, embrace him, watch him accomplish great things, but most importantly, watch him truly start to ‘panic’ when he reaches his middle ages and the fear of mortality will drive him to seek more attention than ever.

Realistically, Kanye West seems to be the next ‘big celebrity’ who might die ‘prematurely’ in some sort of tragic/misunderstood event. As a society, we must rise up to create+seize the opportunity to experience the deaths of numerous famous people. We are ‘regular people’ but when some1 ‘famous dies’, regular people finally get a chance to publicly reflect about the gift of life.

We have learned in 2009, that there is no greater news story to react to than the death of some1. Many of these death victims are not even very ‘relevant’ to Generation Y. But the process of digital mourning is too ‘fun’ to let some1 die without talking about them. When some1 ‘famous’ dies, u get to share the meme with your friends, and ponder the person’s realistic effect/impact on your life. It seems to be fun when you ‘don’t give a shit’ that some1 famous died, but it is also ‘equally enthralling’ to experience the death of some1 who ‘was a big part of celebrity culture’ (thereby directly impacting ur life).

A lot of people say that twitter is a ‘useless and boring display of humanity.’ These people don’t understand the true value of twitter–twitter is an instant window into the lives’ of people. A chance to track the distractions that are filling up people’s lives’, momentarily taking over their brains. An impact significant enough to process a lil thought/meme about it. Whether it is a human, a product, a political scandal, a television show, a movie, or a celeb death, the twitter’s portal into a generalized human psyche is priceless.

We must embrace the power of this tool. We must embrace all tools that allow us to reflect/share/digitally mourn.

We are growing up, learning how to use social networks to experience life together. We are learning how to mourn, celebrate, and crucify miscellaneous celebrities. We are learning that death memes are the memes that unite us. The internet/internet meme is a coping mechanism/opportunity. While events happen in ‘reality’ our opportunity to reflect upon them in a ’sillie lil online world’ helps us to cope with how deeply rattled we are by the underlying themes of highly bloggable events.

When you say ‘I don’t give a shit’ about this KanyeVs.TaylorSwift meme, it’s like you’re turning your back on humanity. You fail to realize that these are the only moments that we can all share together. These are the moments where you feel comfortable with the ‘whole world’ reacting. Even though it is a ’sillie lil award show’, maybe everything in life is ’silly.’ Maybe it’s ’silly’ that we elect a President of the USA every 4 years. Maybe it’s sillie that we use ‘money’ 2 make our economy work. Maybe it’s ’sillie’ that we live life.

But u need 2 embrace this silliness with all of the ppl around u. We have been given the ability to analyze and interpret the world around us, and many social barriers are created by the content which you can analyze+interpret. When megamoments happen, you let your guard down, and find a lil bit of solace in knowing that ‘every1 knows about this.’ Sometimes you’ll get mad if some1 has a dumb opinion, or if some1 uneducated tries to ‘act like the have an authoritative perspective on real life.’ You need to stop being so angry/exclusive with your thoughts, and surrender them to the collective consciousness which exists on the internet. Your thought/opinion is more valuable as part of a whole which can be analyzed as ‘raw data.’

Sometimes, I wish the internet/twitter/meme distribution systems were more developed when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson’s breast-cover.

Sorta wish I had seen OJ Simpson as a trending topic during his car chase/trial.

We just want to share life with the people around us.
We just want to laugh at humor that every1 ‘gets.’
We just want the whole world to unite, kinda like how Michael Jackson used to help us unite around content, before the internet enabled every1 to go into their little niche. It seems like the internet has finally ‘helped us 2 connect’ with every1.

We just want to send a funnie picture 2 a friend.

We need to know that the leader of our country has the same values as us.

We need to use memes to ‘cope.’ We need the internet.  We need to share ourselves and the world that we see.

We must design more memes.

Make them laugh. Make them remember their youth.

Make them laugh. Tie in a meme with another meme.

Appeal to all  humor levels, letting the meme move upmarket and downmarket.

We must always take the opportunity to objectify women.

Strive for the most absurd meme possible.

The vast collection of Kanye Interruption Memes will live forever.  They are modern cave paintings, capturing the way we communicate and tell stories.

Should Kanye ‘be sorry’?  Did he dishonor himself, his brand, and the perceived ‘love’ that he had for his mother?  Did he take his brand to another level?  Is Kanye West depressed?  Will Kanye West ‘kill himself’ after his 5th South Park appearance?  Will Taylor Swift become a lesbian/star of a celeb reality show?  R u worried about tweens/the world, or are you starting to embrace the world as it is?

Kanye West has nothing to be sorry for. He did the right thing for himself. He did the right thing for the betterment of America. He did the unintentionally did the right thing for the advancement of ‘the arts.’

Kanye West made me realize why life is worth living. My life is ‘better’ when I have better content 2 share with u.

How long am I going 2 have 2 wait for another socially transcendent moment?

Question 2) M.I.A. is

a) just a meme
b) pregant
c) should have stayed home
d) trying too hard 2 reach out 2 mainstream audiences
e) just taking care of herself/her career

Question 3: Deadmau5 will be remembered as

a) a zany masked DJ
b) just some weirdo at the Grammys
c) “what is that bro doing at our show?” -Taylor Swift
d) being responsible for bringing ‘masked djs’ to the mainstream
e) just a meme on the day after award shows

Question 4: This is a picture of

a) the coldplays
b) a band that steals songs
c) the writers of the rock album + song of the year
d) bros who need to retire their gimmick
e) Cool dads searching for meaning

Question 5: These bros are chilling at

a) the Grammys
b) A Cool Dad convention
c) A Kidz Health convention
d) A McDonalds playgrond
e) A liberal arts professor conference

Question 6: When I see this single, I think it is

a) Just another bloghouse mp3
b) just another crappy mp3 posted by a lame entrylevel blog on the hypemachine looking to get hits
c) worth a Grammy
d) the best Remix of all time
e) other

Question 7: Kanye West won a grammy for

a) Best frollet
b) Best blogger of the year
c) Worst black person of the year in America
d) JackOfAllTrades/Renaissance Man of the year
e) Best guy who sounds like a robot on his albums

Question 8: Who wore it better?

a) the broad on the left
b) the broad on the right
(this is a test 2 see if ur a racist)

Question 9: The Lonely Island Bros are

a) going to win a Grammy in 2k10
b) a gimmick for bros
c) comedy for bros
d) glorified bro Weird Al bullshit
e) really funnie
f) really progressive
g) going to make the Flight of the Conchords obsolete for bros
h) something for people who smoke weed and watch dvds/ funnie youtube vids

Question 10: This bro won a Grammy for

a) best assault of a broad
b) best knuckle sandwich 2 a broad’s face
c) Best job of ‘putting a woman in her place’
d) Most likely 2 be the next OJ Simpson
e) Future Ike TurnerBro
f) Strongest Pimp Hand
g) Artist of the Millennium who Hits Women
h) Bro Who is above the law
i) bro who is above society’s norms

Question 11: Daft Punk won some Grammy because

a) they deserve it for this live album thingy
b) there are too many Awards categories
c) people only heard of them after Kanye West cobranded with them for that meaningful duet about becoming stronger on the inside

Question 12: Christian Bale won a grammy for

a) being Heath Ledger’s BFF
b) being in Batman
c) becoming a viral meme on audio
d) pretending ‘to get angry’ as a marketing gimmick for the new Terminator film so that Entertainment Magazines will profile him as being ‘complex’ and ‘deep’ and ‘really into his craft’
e) he sang a lot in Newsies

Question 13: The name of this band is

a) 3 Tweens and a Blind Black Man
b) Blind, Black, and Musical: The Band
c) Searching for Our Sexuality thru the blindness
d) Bro Circle Jerk in a room with a blindman
e) Guy Who Should be able to see + need Talent Managers who protect their brands a lil bit better
f) The Grammys: Where Legends go to Make Bad Decisions
g) Steve WonderBro
h) Tweens Who Might be GheyBros

Question 14: This band in this picture is

a) the Spice Girls
b) Paramore
c) Blink 182
d) Girls Aloud
e) The Pussy Cat Dolls
f) Aqua
g) Jen Aniston and the Skanky McSkankBroads
h) Chris Brown’s “Pimp Hand”

Can’t believe I missed the Grammys. Feel really ‘out of the loop.’ Just want to connect 2 ‘pop culture’ since it is kind of the fabric of society that relates us all.

Kinda feel like this picture represents the state of modern music.
In this picture is everything that we want.
We want bloggable content with stars who attract viewers by saying zany things and being progressive enough to blurb about.

Did yall hear M.I.A. is pregnant?
Are yall excited about how twitter gives u such direct and instant access 2 ur fave celebs while they are at a meaningful event like the Grammys?

[via diplo's drunken memes during the Grammys blogspottwitter]

I already have an iPhone, a gPhone, an iPod touch, an iPod nano, and an iPod shuffle, and a blackberry, and a Zune, but I don’t have this lil Diabetes Gigapet that Nick Jonas has.

Is this the future of the mp3 player? Is this the future of design? Does this have a smaller carbon footprint than an iPod bc iPods display in colour and emit smoke?

Just want 2 stay ‘with it’ and ‘do what the kids r doing.’
Do yall know how 2 get diabetes?

Eventually, we all make the choice to ‘let the world know who we are’ based on the clothes that we wear. There is a natural progression where we go from ‘wearing the clothes that our parents bought for us’ to ‘the clothes that our parents buy but we choose.’

While the Jonas Brothers aren’t a good example of authentic alts, we can use them as a tool to monitor fashion and trend implementation/integration into an ‘alternative-ish’ personal brand with a core value of ’standing out’ by looking ‘edgy, yet mainstream.’

////HIPSTER RUNOFF PRESENTS/////
////PERSONAL BRAND TRANSITION://
////FROM CONSUMER TWEEN////////
////TO PERCEIVED-ALT–//////////
////FORGING UR IDENTIY//////////
////ACCORDING 2 OTHERS//////////

Letting people know that you are ‘different’ starts out with small things, kinda like wristbands, occasional headbands, and stuff that’s a little bit post-Abercrombie.

There might be an awkward phase where you aren’t 100% sure on what you are wearing means about you.

Being different sometimes means having a ‘zany personality’, and utilizing faded jeans and HardyBoys-ExpressMen Graphic Tees with metaphorical airbrush designs.

You can’t have a zany personal brand forever. Not even Jim Carrey/Will Ferrell could do that.

Then winter roles around and u wear clothes that make you yearn for more than being just ‘a kid in a wristband.’ You are looking to stand out & show people that you paid good money for the unique, classy clothes that you purchased.

You like how u feel when u ‘dress up’ and you like the attention. It makes you feel more authentic than ‘just another crombie/thrifter/UrbanOutfittedBro/bro in a colourful t-shirt.’

Eventually you can find ‘a personal look’ that works on a day-to-day basis that you are happy with. You have time to do things like straightening your hair.

There might be some events that you have to ‘dress down for’ but you can utilize your fashion knowledge to find an acceptable solution, like man-pris.

In the end, you’ll find that life is a constant search for the perfect object/accessory to tie around your neck.

Once again, while the Jonas Brothers are 0% authentic, they are a great example of tweens who ‘had a desire to establish their personal brand by utilizing progressively non-progressive consumer fashion trends.’ While the jBros will be trapped in the ‘14 year old at a mall in suburbia’ fashion phase for the rest of their lives’, it’s important for you to be in touch with who you were as you transitioned into who you are today.

You may have found an effective way to spend little money to buy unique clothes, or maybe you spend lots of money to buy clothes that help you identify with humanity. However, we need to stay in touch with our ‘impressionable inner-tween’ and His desire to ‘fit in’&’stand out.’

But srsly, if u were gonna meet the President, what would u wear?

Is Ladyhawke destined 2 become a lonely ‘cat lady’?

[Image by ohhcrapp.net]

Has Empire of the Sun been watching sillie movies about boys who can ride flying dogs named “Falcor”?

Do u think they contracted one of those artists who works on the side of a busy street and makes ‘interplanetary art’ with miscellaneous planets, galaxies, and rays of modern light?

Will Barry Obammy change his Presidential campaign 2 be less about healthcare reform/nuking Iraq, and start focusing on creating instrumental partie music?

Are t-shirts about to go through some sort of ‘innovative transitional phase’ where t-shirt makers no long print text & designs into shirts. Instead, designers will cut out their desired designs. [WARNING: StrongAlt pictured below]

[Photo by facehunter]

Is M.I.A.’s new clothing line trying to appeal to authenticallyAlt 12 year olds? Is this promotional image supposed to be going head-to-head with a traditional Target/Jc Penny’s ad? Should M.I.A. have launched her clothing-line in the heart of back2schoolShopping season?

Are the Jonas Brothers going to record a Christian album? Will 60% of their songs be about ‘raising up’ to ‘Him’ and/or ’songs that sound like love songs, but are actually about loving G-d/Jesus/Mary/Pontius Pilate.’

Seen n e personal brands that u r willing 2 gimmick urself in2 lately?
Plz send me ur personal branding questions if u need help aligning ur brand with today’s modern society.

But srsly, do yall think they get buzzed on Jack Daniels and make wristbands/pant cuff decorations together? <3 alts & crafts <3

***************

[Photo by HelLooks]
Old people r always in truLuv because they stuck together for such a long time. This old couple was alt enuff to be fashion blggd about, proving their relevance to a multitude of generations. One can only imagine how many lilAlts popped from her alternative womb. Some fashion critics have written that couples who coordinate their outfits are not vry authentic–however, if ur old, it proves that u truly know how 2 ‘communicate.’

This post has been brought to you by the Jonas Brother’s World Tour: Rockin’ 4 Sweetness (A Rock N Roll Tour to Promote Diabetes 4 Every1 Under 15)

[via wtfnsfw]
SRSLY yall… don’t eat 2 much sugar if u don’t want ur blood to turn bad. A lot of older minorities who I have interacted with have ‘the Sugar’ a.k.a. ‘the Diabetes’ and it hasn’t really RUINED their lives’, but it has made them feel guilty when they eat birthday cake, cookies, ice cream, Jolly Ranchers, Snickers Bars, and other sweet treats. No1 deserves 2 live with guilt, not even ur unloving father.

But srsly, which kid were u? All the ’smart kidz’ were rlly into math and science. All of the eventual-fggts l00ved art class (I had rlly amazing gay-dar when I was a kid). All of the borderline retarded kids only liked recess/’playground timey’. Or were u the kid who was into xtreme sports? Or were u the kid who ‘brought his acoustic guitar 2 school’? Or did u bring ur DiscMan/Zune for all of the kids to listen to your alt-raprock?

Or were u a kid who had the enigmatic facial expression of some1 with a SNCKRS bar permanently shoved up his ass hole?

Or were u a tween fashion model who did shows at your local mall? Did u have a parent who combed your hair, dressed u in ‘trendy lil kidz clothes’, and made you have ‘a girlfriend’ when you are in 3rd grade even though you were in 3rd grade?

If ‘dressing like ur in P.E.’ is the next big trend, should I rush to my local sporting goods store to buy every colour of Russell Athletic shorts just like I bought every color of every American Appy item?