Video: Julian Casablancas – PHRAZES FOR THE YOUNG (PREVIEW)

Analysis: This is a new project by the lead singer of the Strokes bro. Wonder what it is going to sound like. Seems sort of ‘deep’ but will possibly become ‘over commercialized.’ I think he has collabed on some other crap, and it ’sounded good’ possibly. I feel like I will decide not to listen to it, because it will become a topic that people who aren’t connected to the music memesphere will talk about, like ‘dude man, did you hear Julian has a new album coming out?’ and they will probably actually go out and ‘physically purchase it.’ Will probably not listen to it, and might ‘resent’ the first video.

The music sort of sounds like a mix of ‘the Strokes’ with a little bit of ‘guy who makes music that was obviously produced in GarageBand.’ Feel bad for the Strokes. Not sure if they will ever be able to break free of ‘what they represented’ when they first came out, in terms of The Strokes being ’so cool’ or something.

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Music Video: Miike Snow – Burial

Analysis: I think that after the success of ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, this video aesthetic is trying to take us to some ‘brown part of the world’ where life is more simple. In the video, the whole town rallies around this little trophy of the Miike Snow logo, and I think it represents some sort of deity. Like they are ‘worshiping God’ as a bro parades the trophy through the streets. Life seems hard in this video, like there are no cafes with wifi in a nearby area. Think that the song is ‘good’ and could possibly be utilized in meaningful indie soundtracks. Like when a bro is finding himself, or possibly ‘losing’ a keut girl and staring into the camera.

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Music Video: The Dead Weather – Treat Me Like Your Mother

Analysis: I first heard about the Dead Weather when they advertised on my favourite website. I ‘googled’ them and found out that Jack White was in their band. I think that this video is supposed to be ‘hardXcore.’ I feel weird about Jack White. Not sure if I know any one who ‘likes the white stripes’, but I think that he seems like a good musician–like a guy who knows how to guitar solo. I think every one heard that one song that was like ‘dun, dun dun dun, dun dun, dun’, but I’m not sure if I could name another Jack White song.

This video seems like it is supposed to be Xtreme, and possibly ‘reference’ a now socially unacceptable era of film. The video seems ‘angry’ or something. The music seems ‘good,’ but like not sure if I would listen to it while doing a ‘normal activity in my daily life.’ Feel like there might be a huge market of ‘regular people’ who would listen to it while they were socially drinking and barbeque-ing, possibly. They might also listen to Queens of the Stone Age, or Foo Fighters or something. Those bans sell ‘tons of records.’

This video is important to me because it was filmed in the vacant lot behind my suburban childhood neighborhood. Kinda sad that they are about to start constructing apartments there now. Might bring down the property value if too many ‘poors’ move in.

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Music Video: Calvin Harris – Ready for the Weekend

Analysis: I remember when Calvin Harris first came out, he seemed ‘very blog house’ to me. But then I think his new album is the sort of album that ‘people in Europe get really into.’ Like if you went there, this would be the song that gets people pumped up for a soccer game, and every one knows the lyrics, but you’re like ‘I don’t ‘get’ why this is good.’ Think that things are ‘very different’ in Europe, and they value different aesthetics, but artists can make ‘a shit ton’ of money if they ‘get big’ in the UK, and then find success in other pop-oriented Euro countries.

This music video is supposed to be ‘artistic.’ Seems like tons of stuff must have been done ‘in post production.’ The song seems ‘catchy’ but not entirely ‘listenable’, more like a song in a Target commercial or something.

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Music Video: VITALIC – Your Disco Song

Analysis: I think Vitalic made electro techno music before there were computers. I think that their music is supposed to be ‘absurd’ or something. Have only heard them on the Party Monster soundtrack, back when I was trying to ‘learn what it would be like to move to NYC and become part of a relevant party scene.’ This song seems like it is intended to sound ’self-aware.’ There is a broad who has a disco ball surgically attached to her skull. Think she ‘lives to party’ and she just wants to ‘disco so fucking hard.’ Then she eventually goes to a surgeon and gets ‘disco tits.’

Seems like a solid commitment to ‘a scene.’

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Music Video: Rye Rye (ft M.I.A.) – Bang

Analysis: I think that this video is supposed to look like it is part of ‘black culture’ but intended for ‘white people simulating their interest in black culture to seem cultured.’ M.I.A. is in this video. I don’t think that the song is ‘good.’ It sounds too much like ‘black culture’ for me to get into, so I feel like they possibly achieved their aesthetic. I’m not sure if I really enjoy pure African American culture, or if I prefer to be friends/partake in African Americans who ‘don’t seem as black.’ What types of black people do you prefer?

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Have yall seen n e good music videos lately?

I think it’s fair to say that NIKE will always be the best ‘lifestyle brand’ for both mainstreamers and alts. They have a dual identity. While the probably have well-developed research facilities to develop cutting edge products for the top athletes & the best ‘kids who play a sport and have parents who love them too much’, most of the alternative branding is done with ‘old products that aren’t incredibly comfortable, but people enjoy how they are perceived by others when they wear the product.’ AKA ‘The Convese All Star Theory’.

Sneakers/shoes/footwear are a HUGE representation of ‘who u r’, so I figured I should breakdown what popular shoes mean about U.

Good examples are:

The Samba - I wonder what would happen if people who owned Sambas were required to register for an indoor soccer league. Overall, a ‘humble yet alt’ look that I would compare to a modern take on the Converse All Stars.

Nike Air Force 1s - They are for both black and white people. For people who have advanced beyond having a desire for owning the shoes that belong to a popular athlete.

Generally, Air Force 1s are colourful, and these colors can be used by generic altbros to differentiate from ‘the pack.’ People think they are supposed to be interested in interesting colors on shoes.

Nike Dunks - Are these the same as AirForce1s? I can’t rlly tell.

New Balance 991s - A shoe made for mainstreamers/frat bros/girls who wear athletic shorts+a university t-shirt. These shoes are built for comfort. I wonder if they selected a comfy shoe on purpose, or if it was an arbitrary decision.

Reebok PUMPS - Worn by some one who is probably a VERY dedicated alt or a self-proclaimed ’sneaker freak’ who wants to stand out more than Nikes would allow him to. When it comes to ‘form’, I don’t see why any one would prefer a Reebok design over a Nike design. However, the guy who ‘is wearing pumps’ really wants your attention.

Vans - You might be an entry level ’scenester’ if you wear Vans.

Checkered Vans - You might be a future FGGT/GHEY/future-failed-alt who gets too involved with marijuana and being quirky


The awkward Nike shoe that looks like an indoor soccer shoe/Van – what kind of ass hole would wear this? Probably a failed cool dad.


Adidas Gazelles - If you want an Adidas indoor soccer shoe, you should buy a Samba. Gazelles are kind of like alt-Vans (that’s a bad thing).

Steve Madden Men’s Shoes - It’s probably ‘business casual day’ if u r wearing these shoes.

Keds - You are REALLY being an ass hole if you wear KEDS. You are probably a ‘kid who thinks he/she is smart even though you go to community college and only wear Earth tones/pastels and actually still have Wes Anderson posters up in your room.’


Doc Marten Sandals - Ur probably taking a bath in Abercrombie cologne and shaving your 14 year old pubes in preparation for your ‘first sexual experience’ if you wear these.

Asics - these are for people who are still trying to find themselves/are trying too hard to differentiate.

LA Lights - The type of person who wears these would also like to have a conversation about shows that were on Nickelodeon when you were a kid. ‘Remember Pete&Pete?’


Regular Converse -a classic look that often justifies itself/leaves much to be desired at the same time. It sort of says ‘I am a humble person’ but still lets people know that you are either 10-25% alt or 100% post-alt.

Quirky coloured converse - You were probably in a ska band in high school and are attached to your image as ‘the smart kid who was also artistic and also had a quirky side that his teachers absolutely loved!’

Interesting print Converse - The weekend shoes of mainstreamers.


Converse All Star Xtra High - If u wear these, u do not contribute anything positive to society. Your legs should be removed from the knees-down, and your legs should be used to keep kids in Africa warm.

Awkard Puma soccer/turf shoe - You should have bought some Sambas instead of being a weirdo.


Womens Reebok Freetyle Hi - I have yet to meet a girl who would actually wear this.

Why is Reebok trying to trick French people who like tecktonic into thinking their shoes make them dance better?

Yelle is more important to Reebok than Michael Jordan is to Nike.

Have u seen this Funny YELLE product placement commercial for Reebok?

On the subject of alt-celebrities promoting shoes…
I still can’t believe Converse hired the guy from the Strokes, the black guy from The Pharrell, and Santogold to write a song to promote Converse. This quirky video that forced music blogs to sound excited about an MP3 from multiple artists from different target audiences was one of the biggest hoaxes of the modern bloghouseosphere era.

The song is pretty funny. I feel like sneaker companies forget t
hat ‘normal people’ wear shoes. It’s not just people who ‘think their shoes make them look cool.’ This song is the type of song that ‘people who think that listening to certain new/buzzworthy artists makes them cool’ would listen to on their way to the mall.

I feel like music blogs have a bad reputation because up to this point because of this type of content. A lot of ‘d-bags who think the are supposed to find a collaboration like this interesting’ are the main proponents of mp3 blogs as a news/culture source. So while bloggers feel pressured to ‘blog about this new [HIGHLY BLOGGABLE] content’, the marketers/companies gain promotion but subtract from the authenticity of their message & the authenticity of the targeted blog as a tastemaking source. Advertising to ‘alts who are too cool for anything, but still kind of impressionable’ is difficult, and companies must hire better marketing teams in order to reach the new ALT MARKET, as opposed to advertising to the circa 2002 HIPSTER MARKET.

BUT SRSLY…
IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO PROMOTE THE CONVERSE ALL STAR? If I were the CEO of Converse, I would stop making every non-AllStar shoe and cancel their initiatives with high-profile athletes like Dwayne Wade.

Converse should just start distributing through thrift stores and be happy with ‘letting people pay what they want’ for their shoes. It worked for Radiohead’s “In Rainbows” and I think this product is similar.

Overall, I think Nike is the powerhouse with all of the history to make the best marketing campaigns. They realize that alts buy their products, but they don’t dedicate that much direct marketing towards them. They let ’sneaker designing boutiques’ and popular athletic figures who every1 liked as a kid to keep the brand’s presence strong with the alts.

This commercial appeals to both mainstreamers and alts with powerful imagery/iconography that we can all associate with. In addition, it utilizes that anthem by the Killers about having soul but not being a soldier (this song theoretically appeals to every1/sounds like the kind of song that mainstreamers-who-are-unaware-of-new-bands will go out and buy, then have conversations about ‘hearing this awesome song in a Nike commecial and the CD is actually really amazing.’)

[HIGHLY RECCD ENDING WITH A SPRINTER WITH NO LEGS]

I don’t think Nike’s alternative advertising is very heavy-handed. They keep their mainstream markets as a top priority as opposed to trying to ‘take over the alts.’ For example, this Nike Soccer commercial was directed by Guy Richie, who is theoretically an indie director (who banged Madonna), so every one can feel comfortable liking it.

N e ways…What kind of shoes do you wear?
Which lifestyle brand do u trust?
Which business is the best?
What shoes will be big in 2k9?
Do u feel like u r way 2 valued as a ‘hipster’ consumer by d-bags who have brainstorming sessions where they try to identify ‘what makes a hipster’?
What is a ‘hipster’?
What is an ‘alt’?
What is a ’scenester’?
Should I buy shoes only based on comfort?
Should I buy shoes that are made by lil AZN kids/women who are being underpaid?
Does being a ‘responsible consumer’ make the world a better place?
Remember hippie kids who ‘didn’t wear shoes’?