Walking gawkily into the room, Pip Brown is a mess of crumpled urban-wear and ruffled blonde hair. Held together by a Patti Smith T-shirt, black leather jacket, hooded blue shirt, skinny black jeans and unlaced Doc Martens, Brown – aka Ladyhawke – doesn’t exactly look like someone you’d go to for fashion tips. But she’s fast becoming a name to drop in the music world, revered as much for her dress sense as for her 80s-referencing, melodic synth-heavy rock.

“It’s really funny, that style icon thing,” says the 27-year-old New Zealander, now relocated to London. For a start, she says, she doesn’t wear women’s clothes, like, ever. “I have this thing where I refuse to wear anything made for a female because I don’t like conforming to gender stereotypes. It’s so predictable to get girly-cut jeans and blouses. I wear men’s clothes: jackets, shirts and shoes. It doesn’t take away from my femininity.”

Ladyhawke at some profile piece from the guardian:

“I have this thing called Asperger’s syndrome,” she says. – a disorder on the autism spectrum characterised by difficulties with social interaction and idiosyncratic behaviour. “When I found out, it explained my whole childhood. I told my mum and she said, ‘That’s why you used to sit on the floor doing puzzles for hours!’ It was the reason I was so solitary. I’d say completely inappropriate things. The other kids thought I was a weirdo.”

She mentions two traits associated with Asperger’s: a thirst for knowledge and a love of music. At home, she would sit with her ear glued to the radio, or listen to her parents’ Beatles and Pretenders albums. That’s when she wasn’t being sick: she suffered from a panoply of illnesses and allergies that kept her in and out of hospital.

Yall. When we think of blogIndieRockNRollers/AltCelebs, we usually think of ‘untalented rich kids who play MicroKorgs/Serato.’ We usually don’t know the ‘real stories’ behind these people. Good 2 finally find 1 out.

Here’s a list of other famous people with Asperger’s Syndrome. Gifted and Talented people usually have it.

• Woody Allen -wrote a movie about Manhatty
• Isaac Asimov – invented ’science’
• Jane Austen – wrote about anguished tweens from the past
• Samuel Beckett – kinda invented postmodernism/hung out with Jamie Joycey
• Ludwig van Beethoven – paved the way for bloghouse
• Alexander Graham Bell – invented the telephone, txt messaging, and the iPhone
• John Denver – died in a plane crash R.I.P.
• Bob Dylan – paved the way for meaningfulcore music
• Thomas Edison – invented light
• Albert Einstein – was smart but never really ‘applied himself’
• Bobby Fischer – was rlly good at Chess, Monopoly, and Puzz3Ds
• Max Fischer – was a gifted and talented kid
• Henry Ford – created Toyota/Ford/Volksvageon
• Bill Gates – Hired Girl Talk to say ‘I’m a PC, yall!’
• Al Gore – invented ‘Global Warming’ as a buzz viral marketing gimmick
• Jim Henson – created ‘Fraggle Rock’. Wrote the Sequel to Woody Allen’s “Manhattan” about the
• muppets taking over it.
• Alfred Hitchcock – wrote spookie stories for SNICK. (Are Yall Afraid of the Dark?)
• Howard Hughes – a character played by Leo DiCaprio who ‘had problems’, but still had a beautiful mind
• Thomas Jefferson – Paved the way for interracial relationships
• Carl Jung – Invented words/practices for ‘people who can’t deal with real life’
• Andy Kaufman – was played by Jim Carrey in the movie “The Truman Show: When Nature Calls (Liar)”
• Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – paved the way for ‘indie’ musik
• John Nash – a character played by Russell Crowe in the movie “A Beautiful Mind (Gladiator Vs. Joaquin Phoenix)”
• Isaac Newton – created gravity with ‘the large hadron collider’
• Friedrich Nietzsche – was ’sad abt life’ and ‘had strong opinions’ about ‘God being dead, yall’ for tweens to write on their backpacks during High School
• Keith Olbermann – popular SportsCenter anchor
• Daniel Plainview – Was an oil man.
• Keanu Reeves – starred in Speed II, The Matrices, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, and Parenthood
• Charles Schulz – invented “Snoopy”
• James Taylor – wrote songs for Girl Talk to exclusively mash up
• Royal Tenenbaum – had tummy cancer.
• Henry Thoreau – lived at a pond without internet and blogged about it (on paper)
• Mark Twain – was a member of the 90s AltRock band Tommy Sawyer and the Blowfish (Huck Finn)
• Andy Warhol – doodled 4 a lot of money

Are yall inspired? I remember in the past I have accused alternative celebrities of being ’spoiled’ and having ’symptoms of A.D.D.’/needing attention, but I guess I need 2 be more tolerant and try 2 find out more b4 I make judgments about people who are ‘in the spotlight.’ The article makes it seem like Ladyhawke is ‘in the spotlight’ because that’s what musicians have 2 do, not bc she’s entirely comfortable with it.

<3 post-tolerance <3

QUESTIONS FROM READERS ANSWERED BY HRO BLOGGER “the CARLES”
************
************
************
********

TrappedInSuburbia69 writes:

crls, all types of wayfarers, shuttershades, zany colored sunglasses, no-lens glasses are MNSTRM to extreme levels at my school… and i live in a rich people suburb.
there are people mixing hollister and colored wayfarers on a day to day basis.
i need your advice ryte now! i can’t go back to school looking like one of them. tell me how i can seperate myself.

[Photo by the cobrasnake]

Carles says:
It’s difficult to ’stand out’ once all of 2k7s trends reach suburbia in 2k8. Just ‘dare 2 be different.’ Wear something that u don’t even believe looks good/is cool. Make sure u keep listening to newer music than them. Don’t tell them ur altWebsite content sources. Most kids in your position would ’stop bathing’ so that their smell lets people know that u r way more committed to altdom than they are.

**********
DiabeteBros69 says:

I have type I diabetes from 2 much cereal. Type II is for fat mainstreamers.

Carles says:
Thanks for the info! I only know that Diabetes is something that the Jonas Brothers injected into their bodies.
***********
MuseumEmployee69 writes:

how many automatic alt pointz do i get for working at a gehry building? are they accepted as currency at most chili’s locations?

Carles says:
Working at a Frank Gehry building will get you a lot of free perks in altLife, including $10 Chili’s dollars per week, free admission to Six Flags theme parks, half off Southwest airlines flights to Europe & Japan, V.I.P. priviledges at major music festivals, the ability to browse altMusicSites without having to view the ads, and 1 free abortion for you or your significant other.

******************
RageAgainstTheLate90s writes:

Was Woodstock the first SXSW?

Carles says:
Yes. You may remember SXSWoodstock99 where Fred Durst & the Limp Korns set Austin on fire and they had to rebuild most of the University of Texas campus.

*********
LivingInFear69 writes:

I’m so scared about the electro wars. I heard that France and Australia have huge stockpiles of bangers… Stop BMD proliferation yall.
Furthermore intel suggests that Ableton technology has spread across the entire AZN subcontinent, with young kids as young as 14, indoctrinated by bearded ideologues, now able to mix bangers *in as little as 45 minutes*.

Carles says:
I’m scared, too. Will George W. McCain Obama Palin do something about this? are yall voting or does it ‘not matter’? No1 will ever give me a straight answer. They just tell me 2 vote or die. Things aren’t so black and white, yall! Also, make sure to buy ur duct tape, flashlights, spam, & bottled water.

**********
AmericanContrarian69 writes:

Am I the only one who thinks that wearing American Apparel from head to toe is the least ‘alt’ thing a person can do? I just don’t get it. Alt truly = mainstream when it comes to that. Do you know why I get so angry when i see someone wearing a purple vneck tshirt that was obvs bought that day from AA? Is there a way to just accept that AA is for hipster/scenesters and doesn’t = Alt? Is there a way to let the world know that the more AApurple you wear, the more mnstrm you are?

Carles says:
The American Appy aesthetic is functional for your day-to-day ’subtle’ alt life. American Appy continues to expand their product line to bring you a wider range of colours, prints, and Afrikan stuff. American Appy works 4 u. In a way, American Appy wants every1 to be ‘a little bit alt.’ Some see this as a good thing, and some see this as a bad thing. It really just depends on ur personal brand. True altdom is within–don’t just assume that puting on clothes that were branded as ‘being alt’ makes u an alt. That would be like wearing Nikes and assuming u were going 2 play in the NBA. Being a true alt takes months and blogyears of hard work, yall. BTW… Please support our sponsors, yall! Every item on my body right now is AmAppy–I am brand loyal. Am Appy: The New Nike?

Note: Not a real American Appy ad. Just some myspacer who I found on googleImageSearch who loves his aesthetic.
***********
ItGirl69 asks:

who’s cory kenney?? is she on like a (m)tv show??? i’m i 2old2know???

Carles says:
She was one of the original MTV VJs. She was also the inspiration for the character ‘Daria.’
Daria = Cory Kennedy = their gimmick is that they don’t smile

*************
WorriedAbtMyFriend22 asks:

carles,
i desperately need advice on how to deal with a friend of mine. this summer she is totally becoming an alt after a life of being a mainstreamer. i don;t know how to handle it!? at first it was subtle things, she got some kute bangs and started wearing some tighter jeans and even bought some chucks and wayfarers (i lol’d). she caught me off guard when she asked me what i thought of the new girl talk album, i was like…. “ughhhhh, what? no” and she was like “yeah, i totally think nite ripper was better”…. i was just shocked. now she listens to justice and mia and all that other entry shit and i heard her call herself a hipster (i cringed). i get tha
t she wants to be kute and trendy but seeing this change firsthand is confusing! PLS, what should i do? should i bring it up and talk to her about it or just stay quiet and observe? should i try to help her not look like such an obvious mainstreamer gone alt? try to get tugged by her new gang of vapid trend-whore friends?
PS
pls keep this annonymous, i have a suspicion she might have found ur blog after using my macbook

Carles says:
first of all–put a password on your MacBook. U NEVER want some1 to find out what sites u’ve been browsing. The truth is that your friend is still a mainstreamer, but her context has just changed. U need to embrace her inauthentic new personal brand, and certainly try to get tugged by her gaggle of friends. If you present yourself as an authentic source of trends, new music, and a general value system with which they live their life by+see the world, then u will have it good. Just be sure that you are prepared for your ego to take a hit when an altMale who is more respected in the scene is able to swoon your impressionable tugger away from your control.
MainstreamersGoneAlt are a blessing and a curse, yall. Don’t fall in love with them, ever!

*********
AspiringBlogger69 asks:

do u think i should get blog, blogspot, or xanga? u are the only person i trust to answer this question. i want every1 to read my blog all day everyday.

Carles says:
Xanga is for AZNs. Blogger is for generic people who post 3 times and then quit. Wordpress is for douchebaggy blogs about politics/parenting. Tumblr is for alts/high end design meme consumers. Livejournal is from people who are stuck in the year 2000. Twitter is ass holes. Typepad is for old people. Geocities are for authentic alts?

********
2CatchAPredator69 writes:

dear crls,
i love your blog, but i have a problem. the on;y alt girls my age at my high school are off-limits yo. what is one supposed to do? should i date a younger entry-level alt and try to open her to the world of alt by taking her to see the justice and electro bands? or is she just highly tuggable? should i commute 4 love; san franny’s 45 minutes away though, and i do know/could meet/need to meet some pretty alt girls who go to liberal arts high schools and know how to screen print t-shrts/give good tugjobs/listen to ratatat on lp while “doin iy”?
Help yo.

Carles says:
In the altWorld, the Age of Consent = the age where some1 decides to implement alternative trends into their personal brand. Even if they are as young as 14, something as simple as wearing an interesting shirt, or wearing trendy mom jeans is basically them admitting that ‘they are available on the tug market.’ If it would make you feel more comfortable being with a younger woman, you can always purchase a pair of child predator glasses at ur local pharmacy.

*******
theOfficeFan69 writes:

Is NBC really coming out with a series called HIPSTERS which will merge the humor of ‘The Office’, ‘it’s always Sunny in Philadelphia’, ‘Arrested Development’, and ‘Human Giant’? Should I be excited or scared? Will it be authentic, and will Justin Long be in it?

[via BDavis Tumblr]

Carles says:
I have no idea, yall. But I hope so. I wish there were more people on my Television who I could relate to so I could watch them on hulu/youtube. I h8 not being able to identify with n e modern television characters. I don’t even work in a quirky office/ live on a lost island! sux.

**********
BrookeShields69 says:

i had depression before i found hro.

Carles replies:
In a way, aren’t we all ‘a lil depressed’ in the same way that we’re all ‘a lil bit bi’?

*************
GoingAway2College69 writes:

hey [CRLS], what’s the altiest major? obvi graphic/fashion design is a staple of alternative subcultures, but i feel that something liberal artsy (liberal alty?) is more in line with my personal lifestyle brand. political science or ’sociology’ (whatever that is) sound totes entry-lvl alt. what should the alt-collegiate crowd study 2 stay ahead of the curve?
u r0ck my world.

Carles lists:
1) Miscellaneous Associate’s Degree
2) Photoshop
3) Art History with a focus on the post-Photoshop era
4) Architecture
5) Teaching for America
6) Philosophy with a concentration on Graphic Design Ideology
7) Music Business with a minor in BlogCommunications
8) Alternative Economics
9) Graphic Design (at a school without computers)
10) Sociology + Psychology
11) Marketing
12) Communications
13) A major about music where you spend a year using the campus’ recording facilities to ‘make ur own album’
14) Film with a concentration in French No Wave cinema
15) Film Studies before 1900
16) Mashup Engineering (or whatever Girl Talk majored in)

******************
GirlLuvr69 says:

ladyhawke = blonde electro feist? the quirky videos, the slightly masculine face, the bad dancing… who would you choose a tug from?

Carles says:
Good question! I’d take a tug from either one, but girls are insecure, so they probably have more opinions about this 1.

Feist: a bad dancer?

**********
Guy69 writes:

xrlz: hi, ive been wanting to ask you: could u please explain further some of the terms, premises, and “basic banalities” of HRO? i think this would help clarify what youre doing/talking about, and make your socio-anthropological tugjobs more meaningful for everyone. . . .

for example, like:

what are the electrowars? when are they coming? and why?
can an electroholocaust be avoided, or is it now an inextricable part of ‘destiny’?
how do you think the warring factions will divide? Alts vs. Streamers? and Alt on Alt warcrime? and what about Double Agents?
who are likely to be killed off and who shall endure? how can i increase my chances of survival?

what exactly is the Alt/Stream ‘dialectique’ ?
when alts become streamers, are they still alts underneath? or have their souls/personal brands been forever subsumed into ‘the square paradigm’?

what does the future hold for:
1) chilis
2) the electrorainforest
3) the personal brand economy
4) altbosom
5) sunbears
6) jeans (of many varieties)
7) SXSWestern Civilization
8) Snitchfork
9) bangs/bangers

perhaps these questions are rather wide-ranging already, but i just thought it’d be good if you stepped back and explained things.. i mean, particularly seeing as though youll soon be entering the teenage years
of your 2nd blog century.
thank you !

Carles responds:
Not sure what ur tlkng abt, but it sounds like u live in a zany world that does not represent reality at all! U should probably focus on getting a master’s degree/moving up to middle-management within the next 2 years instead of reading internet website blog thingies.
‘I want some of what he’s on!’
-some quirky FGGT ‘jokester’

Thanks for reading, yall! email me yalls questions! Hopefully this helped yall!

QUESTIONS FROM READERS ANSWERED BY HRO BLOGGER “the CARLES”
************
************
************
********

TrappedInSuburbia69 writes:

crls, all types of wayfarers, shuttershades, zany colored sunglasses, no-lens glasses are MNSTRM to extreme levels at my school… and i live in a rich people suburb.
there are people mixing hollister and colored wayfarers on a day to day basis.
i need your advice ryte now! i can’t go back to school looking like one of them. tell me how i can seperate myself.

[Photo by the cobrasnake]

Carles says:
It’s difficult to ’stand out’ once all of 2k7s trends reach suburbia in 2k8. Just ‘dare 2 be different.’ Wear something that u don’t even believe looks good/is cool. Make sure u keep listening to newer music than them. Don’t tell them ur altWebsite content sources. Most kids in your position would ’stop bathing’ so that their smell lets people know that u r way more committed to altdom than they are.

**********
DiabeteBros69 says:

I have type I diabetes from 2 much cereal. Type II is for fat mainstreamers.

Carles says:
Thanks for the info! I only know that Diabetes is something that the Jonas Brothers injected into their bodies.
***********
MuseumEmployee69 writes:

how many automatic alt pointz do i get for working at a gehry building? are they accepted as currency at most chili’s locations?

Carles says:
Working at a Frank Gehry building will get you a lot of free perks in altLife, including $10 Chili’s dollars per week, free admission to Six Flags theme parks, half off Southwest airlines flights to Europe & Japan, V.I.P. priviledges at major music festivals, the ability to browse altMusicSites without having to view the ads, and 1 free abortion for you or your significant other.

******************
RageAgainstTheLate90s writes:

Was Woodstock the first SXSW?

Carles says:
Yes. You may remember SXSWoodstock99 where Fred Durst & the Limp Korns set Austin on fire and they had to rebuild most of the University of Texas campus.

*********
LivingInFear69 writes:

I’m so scared about the electro wars. I heard that France and Australia have huge stockpiles of bangers… Stop BMD proliferation yall.
Furthermore intel suggests that Ableton technology has spread across the entire AZN subcontinent, with young kids as young as 14, indoctrinated by bearded ideologues, now able to mix bangers *in as little as 45 minutes*.

Carles says:
I’m scared, too. Will George W. McCain Obama Palin do something about this? are yall voting or does it ‘not matter’? No1 will ever give me a straight answer. They just tell me 2 vote or die. Things aren’t so black and white, yall! Also, make sure to buy ur duct tape, flashlights, spam, & bottled water.

**********
AmericanContrarian69 writes:

Am I the only one who thinks that wearing American Apparel from head to toe is the least ‘alt’ thing a person can do? I just don’t get it. Alt truly = mainstream when it comes to that. Do you know why I get so angry when i see someone wearing a purple vneck tshirt that was obvs bought that day from AA? Is there a way to just accept that AA is for hipster/scenesters and doesn’t = Alt? Is there a way to let the world know that the more AApurple you wear, the more mnstrm you are?

Carles says:
The American Appy aesthetic is functional for your day-to-day ’subtle’ alt life. American Appy continues to expand their product line to bring you a wider range of colours, prints, and Afrikan stuff. American Appy works 4 u. In a way, American Appy wants every1 to be ‘a little bit alt.’ Some see this as a good thing, and some see this as a bad thing. It really just depends on ur personal brand. True altdom is within–don’t just assume that puting on clothes that were branded as ‘being alt’ makes u an alt. That would be like wearing Nikes and assuming u were going 2 play in the NBA. Being a true alt takes months and blogyears of hard work, yall. BTW… Please support our sponsors, yall! Every item on my body right now is AmAppy–I am brand loyal. Am Appy: The New Nike?

Note: Not a real American Appy ad. Just some myspacer who I found on googleImageSearch who loves his aesthetic.
***********
ItGirl69 asks:

who’s cory kenney?? is she on like a (m)tv show??? i’m i 2old2know???

Carles says:
She was one of the original MTV VJs. She was also the inspiration for the character ‘Daria.’
Daria = Cory Kennedy = their gimmick is that they don’t smile

*************
WorriedAbtMyFriend22 asks:

carles,
i desperately need advice on how to deal with a friend of mine. this summer she is totally becoming an alt after a life of being a mainstreamer. i don;t know how to handle it!? at first it was subtle things, she got some kute bangs and started wearing some tighter jeans and even bought some chucks and wayfarers (i lol’d). she caught me off guard when she asked me what i thought of the new girl talk album, i was like…. “ughhhhh, what? no” and she was like “yeah, i totally think nite ripper was better”…. i was just shocked. now she listens to justice and mia and all that other entry shit and i heard her call herself a hipster (i cringed). i get tha
t she wants to be kute and trendy but seeing this change firsthand is confusing! PLS, what should i do? should i bring it up and talk to her about it or just stay quiet and observe? should i try to help her not look like such an obvious mainstreamer gone alt? try to get tugged by her new gang of vapid trend-whore friends?
PS
pls keep this annonymous, i have a suspicion she might have found ur blog after using my macbook

Carles says:
first of all–put a password on your MacBook. U NEVER want some1 to find out what sites u’ve been browsing. The truth is that your friend is still a mainstreamer, but her context has just changed. U need to embrace her inauthentic new personal brand, and certainly try to get tugged by her gaggle of friends. If you present yourself as an authentic source of trends, new music, and a general value system with which they live their life by+see the world, then u will have it good. Just be sure that you are prepared for your ego to take a hit when an altMale who is more respected in the scene is able to swoon your impressionable tugger away from your control.
MainstreamersGoneAlt are a blessing and a curse, yall. Don’t fall in love with them, ever!

*********
AspiringBlogger69 asks:

do u think i should get blog, blogspot, or xanga? u are the only person i trust to answer this question. i want every1 to read my blog all day everyday.

Carles says:
Xanga is for AZNs. Blogger is for generic people who post 3 times and then quit. Wordpress is for douchebaggy blogs about politics/parenting. Tumblr is for alts/high end design meme consumers. Livejournal is from people who are stuck in the year 2000. Twitter is ass holes. Typepad is for old people. Geocities are for authentic alts?

********
2CatchAPredator69 writes:

dear crls,
i love your blog, but i have a problem. the on;y alt girls my age at my high school are off-limits yo. what is one supposed to do? should i date a younger entry-level alt and try to open her to the world of alt by taking her to see the justice and electro bands? or is she just highly tuggable? should i commute 4 love; san franny’s 45 minutes away though, and i do know/could meet/need to meet some pretty alt girls who go to liberal arts high schools and know how to screen print t-shrts/give good tugjobs/listen to ratatat on lp while “doin iy”?
Help yo.

Carles says:
In the altWorld, the Age of Consent = the age where some1 decides to implement alternative trends into their personal brand. Even if they are as young as 14, something as simple as wearing an interesting shirt, or wearing trendy mom jeans is basically them admitting that ‘they are available on the tug market.’ If it would make you feel more comfortable being with a younger woman, you can always purchase a pair of child predator glasses at ur local pharmacy.

*******
theOfficeFan69 writes:

Is NBC really coming out with a series called HIPSTERS which will merge the humor of ‘The Office’, ‘it’s always Sunny in Philadelphia’, ‘Arrested Development’, and ‘Human Giant’? Should I be excited or scared? Will it be authentic, and will Justin Long be in it?

[via BDavis Tumblr]

Carles says:
I have no idea, yall. But I hope so. I wish there were more people on my Television who I could relate to so I could watch them on hulu/youtube. I h8 not being able to identify with n e modern television characters. I don’t even work in a quirky office/ live on a lost island! sux.

**********
BrookeShields69 says:

i had depression before i found hro.

Carles replies:
In a way, aren’t we all ‘a lil depressed’ in the same way that we’re all ‘a lil bit bi’?

*************
GoingAway2College69 writes:

hey [CRLS], what’s the altiest major? obvi graphic/fashion design is a staple of alternative subcultures, but i feel that something liberal artsy (liberal alty?) is more in line with my personal lifestyle brand. political science or ’sociology’ (whatever that is) sound totes entry-lvl alt. what should the alt-collegiate crowd study 2 stay ahead of the curve?
u r0ck my world.

Carles lists:
1) Miscellaneous Associate’s Degree
2) Photoshop
3) Art History with a focus on the post-Photoshop era
4) Architecture
5) Teaching for America
6) Philosophy with a concentration on Graphic Design Ideology
7) Music Business with a minor in BlogCommunications
8) Alternative Economics
9) Graphic Design (at a school without computers)
10) Sociology + Psychology
11) Marketing
12) Communications
13) A major about music where you spend a year using the campus’ recording facilities to ‘make ur own album’
14) Film with a concentration in French No Wave cinema
15) Film Studies before 1900
16) Mashup Engineering (or whatever Girl Talk majored in)

******************
GirlLuvr69 says:

ladyhawke = blonde electro feist? the quirky videos, the slightly masculine face, the bad dancing… who would you choose a tug from?

Carles says:
Good question! I’d take a tug from either one, but girls are insecure, so they probably have more opinions about this 1.

Feist: a bad dancer?

**********
Guy69 writes:

xrlz: hi, ive been wanting to ask you: could u please explain further some of the terms, premises, and “basic banalities” of HRO? i think this would help clarify what youre doing/talking about, and make your socio-anthropological tugjobs more meaningful for everyone. . . .

for example, like:

what are the electrowars? when are they coming? and why?
can an electroholocaust be avoided, or is it now an inextricable part of ‘destiny’?
how do you think the warring factions will divide? Alts vs. Streamers? and Alt on Alt warcrime? and what about Double Agents?
who are likely to be killed off and who shall endure? how can i increase my chances of survival?

what exactly is the Alt/Stream ‘dialectique’ ?
when alts become streamers, are they still alts underneath? or have their souls/personal brands been forever subsumed into ‘the square paradigm’?

what does the future hold for:
1) chilis
2) the electrorainforest
3) the personal brand economy
4) altbosom
5) sunbears
6) jeans (of many varieties)
7) SXSWestern Civilization
8) Snitchfork
9) bangs/bangers

perhaps these questions are rather wide-ranging already, but i just thought it’d be good if you stepped back and explained things.. i mean, particularly seeing as though youll soon be entering the teenage years
of your 2nd blog century.
thank you !

Carles responds:
Not sure what ur tlkng abt, but it sounds like u live in a zany world that does not represent reality at all! U should probably focus on getting a master’s degree/moving up to middle-management within the next 2 years instead of reading internet website blog thingies.
‘I want some of what he’s on!’
-some quirky FGGT ‘jokester’

Thanks for reading, yall! email me yalls questions! Hopefully this helped yall!

Is Ladyhawke destined 2 become a lonely ‘cat lady’?

[Image by ohhcrapp.net]

Has Empire of the Sun been watching sillie movies about boys who can ride flying dogs named “Falcor”?

Do u think they contracted one of those artists who works on the side of a busy street and makes ‘interplanetary art’ with miscellaneous planets, galaxies, and rays of modern light?

Will Barry Obammy change his Presidential campaign 2 be less about healthcare reform/nuking Iraq, and start focusing on creating instrumental partie music?

Are t-shirts about to go through some sort of ‘innovative transitional phase’ where t-shirt makers no long print text & designs into shirts. Instead, designers will cut out their desired designs. [WARNING: StrongAlt pictured below]

[Photo by facehunter]

Is M.I.A.’s new clothing line trying to appeal to authenticallyAlt 12 year olds? Is this promotional image supposed to be going head-to-head with a traditional Target/Jc Penny’s ad? Should M.I.A. have launched her clothing-line in the heart of back2schoolShopping season?

Are the Jonas Brothers going to record a Christian album? Will 60% of their songs be about ‘raising up’ to ‘Him’ and/or ’songs that sound like love songs, but are actually about loving G-d/Jesus/Mary/Pontius Pilate.’

Seen n e personal brands that u r willing 2 gimmick urself in2 lately?
Plz send me ur personal branding questions if u need help aligning ur brand with today’s modern society.

N e ways…which 1 of these alt-lectro divas looks better in Simpsons paraphernalia?

Alice “Eat My Shorts” Glass from the band Ally and the Crysty Casties?

[Photo by Max Tollworthy]

or LADYHAWKE?

Are the Simpsons ‘alt’? Are they ‘retro’ or just ‘intermediate retro’ or are they ‘thrift-core’?

Remember when obnoxious people with ‘extroverted’ personalities tried to tell u that FAMILY GUY was ‘the future of comedy’, but then they ‘grew up a lil’ and decided to be into smartComedies like the Office, Judd Apatow films, and full seasons of canceled-but-’friggin-brilliant’ comedy series’.

<3 people who have personal brands that = summarizing zany references and events from Fammy Guy and expecting people to find their description to be as ‘hee-lare-ee-ous’ as watching it, and expect that the group of people will respect him as a source of funnie content <3

I don’t have the answer 2 this question, but maybe u do:
What is the alt-est cartoon?
a) Toy Story
b) Wall-E
c) Cool World
d) Beauty and the Alt
e) The Little Mermaid
f) Hipsters in Space
g) this has the potential 2 b the longest multiple choice question ever, but maybe yall should just ‘b creative’ 4 once and Choose.Your.Own.Response

I never knew Nick Littlemore was such an essential creative hub for some of the best blog tunes of 2k8 (a.k.a. mainstream music for Aussies).

Nick Littlemore’s projects:
1. Pnau
2. Empire of the Sun
3. Teenager (no yall, not the Teenagers. hehe. I’m a sillie blogger. laters)

EMPIRE OF THE SUN seems like What Music Will Sound Like/Music Videos will look like in 2k12 (in a g00d way). This song may or may not be the song the blogosphere has been waiting for all summer.

(Nick Littlemore loves to take his shirt off).
The video also features the best face paint mask since the Heartsrevolution broad.

I also dig the song “Alone Again” by TEENAGER. It makes me want to be in an innocent, tug-filled high school relationship again (just went through a bad breakup with my HS significant other of 6 years). This song is like 30 blog years old, though, but moderately uncovered since it was before Ladyhawke and Pnau had built their [HIGHLY BLOGGABLE] brands.

(Nick Littlemore loves to take his shirt off.)

When will Nick Littlemore extend his personal brand? I think he needs to do a few remixes of moderately popular artists under his own name.

If I had a lame music magazine, I would put Nick Littlemore on the cover, and have a sensationalist issue title, such as “The Savior of Blog House” or some other crap that would enrage/intrigue bloggers, and enabling the cover would go ‘alt-viral.’

[MP3]
Empire of the Sun Walking on a Dream [HIGHLY RECCD]
Teenager Alone Again [PRETTY EARNEST]

Myspaces
http://www.myspace.com/pnaupnau
http://www.myspace.com/teenagerband
http://www.myspace.com/empireofthesunsound

[Meme hijacks from GVB / Fluxblog / Ohhcrap.net ]

Previous post about the weirdnes of PNAU
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/04/pnau-theyre-pretty-weird.html

XX BONUS TOPLESS LADYHAWKE PIC XX

(Ladyhawke likes to take her shirt off, too?)
[Photo by Cybele Malinowski]

My blog attention span was kind of ‘getting over’/'losing steam’ when it came to [BEING INTO] Ladyhawke since I felt like I hadn’t heard anything new from her in blog years. However, this LINUS LOVE remix makes me excited again abt her upcoming album. After listening to so much “Embrace”, “Back of the Van” and “Paris Is Burning”, I’m relieved that Ladyhawke has new songs.

Most bloghouse experts worry about blog artists who only have 2.5 mild-to-highly bloggable songs and pretend to be ‘working on an album.’

The lyrical delivery reminds me of ‘old CSS.’ Remember when they were new? Do u like their new album? Glad I have Ladyhawke to replace the 1.5 songs of theirs that I liked.

[MP3]
Ladyhawke Dusk Til Dawn (Linus Loves Remix) [mediafire]

Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/ladyhawkerock
http://www.myspace.com/linuslovesbreastfed

I yoinked this track from
http://www.wavesatnight.com/2008/08/06/odds-and-ends/

[video may not be viewable in your RSS reader]

What does BLOG HOUSE mean to you? I don’t really know where blog house starts and stops. Here is a list of bands, and whether I consider them blog house or not.

Burning question: JUST BC U PARTICIPATE IN THE REMIX ECONOMY, ARE YOU BLOG HOUSE?

• The Teenagers (yes)
• Justice (no. Too bangery, but maybe. I don’t rlly know abt them any more. We’ll have more answers after their 2nd album.)
• Cut Copy (pre-dated blogs)
• Ladyhawke (not sure yet)
• Feist (no)
• Feist (Boys Noize Remix) (deffs)
• Simian Mobile Disco (too intelligent, but they attract bloghouse fans)
• Klaxons (not usually electro-enough)
• Animal Collective (did u srsly just ask that? ur ghey and don’t know shit abt music)
• Valerie artists (kind of. I think they are trying to be more than ‘a hot trend’)
• Mediocre electro producers (kind of, but they probably don’t deserve to be lumped into the same category as tier-1 blog house track)
• Lifelike (POSSIBLY, but he’s pretty authentic)
• Fred Falke/Alan Braxe (Pre-dated blogs, but are getting a great bump from blog luv)
• Fake Blood (Have to listen to him soon. Who is he?)
• Bloody Beetroots (Maybe, I don’t know. Never heard them)
• The Black Kids/The Cool Kids (I still don’t know the difference between these two artists)
• Black Ghosts (POSSIBLY. Not really sure. Probably)
• MGMT (They could have been if people only listened to the song “Kids” and “Electric Feel”)
• Lil Wayne/Coldplay/Radiohead (They are always popular on hypem, does this mean they are blog house?)
• Santogold/M.I.A./Kid Sister (Are black females allowed to be considered blog-house? or can they only be marketed as rappers?)
• The Ting Tings (Haven’t bothered 2 listen to them)
• The Presets (not sure. Maybe. Probably)
• Van She (Yeah. I think they are tier 1 blog house)
• Lykki Li (MAYBE)
• Robyn (she should be working at a McDonalds. She doesn’t deserve a 2nd wind)
• PNAU (they are blog house-ish in this era of their careers)
• M83 (NO. Shoegazers are not BLOG HOUSE. They are just easy to blog about.)
• Girl Talk (Way too mainstream/has a floating audience)
• HEALTH (Are they they the only hardXcore bloghouse act in existence?)
• HEARTSREVOLUTION (I think they think any1 can be ‘blog house’ so they are just trying to match the aesthetic, but BLOG HOUSE is an honor, not a right.)
• Crystal Castles (I think they are kind of like
• INTERPOL (no way.)
• Junior Boys (I feel like there are bands that should try to be MORE bloghouse, and get involved a little bit more in the remix economy.)
• Gentlemen Drivers (I feel like their unauthorized remix of the Klaxon’s “Not Over Yet” is one of the blog-houseiest songs of all time)
• Midnight Juggernauts (maybe. Probably)
• Does it Offend You, Yeah? (Tough to tell with those British bands for British People)
• LFO song “Summer Girls” (yes)

• Ladytron (Isn’t it kind of interesting how some electro-ish bands predated the BLOG era, and don’t really NEED bloglove, but have still kind of made themselves available [via blogs] to make sure they stay connected with their target audiences?)
• Lo Fi Fnk (Probably)
• New Young Pony Club (probz, ya)
• The song “Young Folks” by Peter Bjorn and John (It depends on ur definition of blog house)
• Sébastien Tellier (I don’t know about that weirdo guy)
• Shinichi Osawa (He makes remixes that are s0 good that they might be post-bloghouse-core)
• Thieves Like Us (After their epic remix contest of 2k7, they have to be BLOG HOUSE)
• THE HIPSTER RUNOFF (His first EP signaled the end of the blog house era, and the beginning of the post-bloghouse era [2009-2010.5])
• The Tough Alliance (Those guys are pretty authentic in a weird way that I like/feel awkward about)
• Breakbot (I don’t know anything about that guy but he seems weird based on his pictures)
• CSS (I would feel more comfortable if they were ‘only’ a blog house band that I semi-enjoyed as opposed to being an ‘international phenomenon in iTunes commercials’ that I have to not whole-heartedly enjoy)
• CFCF (ya. Pretty blog-housey)
• Chromatics (somewhat)
• Glass Candy (Somewhere between BLOG HOUSE and PITCHFORK-HOUSE, which is a good place to be)
• Chromeo (this is a brain teaser!)
• Daft Punk (n0 way)
• Digitalism (Maybe just the song “POGO”)
• Creed (no)
• David Matthews (yes)
• Rob Thomas solo (no)
• Santana (ft Rob Thomas/Michelle Branch) (yes)

Did I miss any 1? (besides the Postal Service)

I feel like as a general rule, if BIG STEREO or MISSING TOOF blogged about you in 2006 or the first half of 2007, you are a blog house band whether you like it or not. I never really read music blogs back then, but if I had to guess, I think that rule would apply. There’s just something very AMERICAN about the term ‘blog house’ as if some AMERICAN guy invented the term even though it didn’t make too much sense, so it makes sense that two of the top American Electroblogs would be responsible for accidentally blogging BLOG HOUSE into existence.

I am unsure if the definitive characteristic of BLOG HOUSE is that the artist gained steam thanks to blogs, or if it ‘just sounds a certain way.’ Theoretically, STEREOGUM is a launching pad for a lot of underwhelming, yet historically significant-sounding meaningful-core indie-rock. Like Vampire Weekend or something like that. Is BLOGHOUSE about sounding a certain way, or is it just like ‘a lot of ppl searched for it on hypemachine and downloaded it, and they got remixed since people wanted free versions of their songs so much.’

Anyways, BLOGS are great for finding new music, and reading the opinions of people who don’t even matter (just like U!). Love all yall blogs, whether or not yall are creating blog house bands or not.
Just as long as the music is free, and the content stream is consistent, that’s all any1 rlly wants. Whether it is on the radio or on some sillie internet site or even inside of your local RCRD Store, we are all just trying to meet the needs of consumers. Good thing blogs don’t write 2 much and appeal to the attention span of Generation Y. Love yall for buying so much stuff and being a demographic that advertisers want 2 reach.

BLOG OR DIE.
MY EARS ONLY LISTEN 2 BLOG HOUSE.
BLOGGING MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON.
DOWLOADING MUSIC FROM BLOGS MAKES YOU A MORE INTERESTING MUSIC FAN AND/OR HUMAN BEING.

“BLOGGING IS THE MASTER ART.”
-Plato, 2k10

***THE MOST [HIGHLY BLOGGABLE] HIT OF 2k8 so far?****

Embrace ft. Ladyhawke (Fred Falke & Miami Horror remix) is s000 blggbl right now.
Have yall heard this song yet? So bloggable, so electro-transcendental that GorillaVsBear blggd it. It might be the REMIX that we have been waiting for since we slipped out of our mothers’ wombz. It is remixes like these that give meaning to the lives’ of electro-bloggers, and throw new fuel on the never ending flame that is the “BLOG HOUSE” genre.
/>Remixes that cross-brand multiple relevant artists are GREAT for hypemachine optimization purposes. Good 2 see PNAU leapfrogged Radiohead.

[MP3]
Pnau Embrace ft. Ladyhawke (Fred Falke & Miami Horror remix)

Download the original version
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/01/pnau-ladyhawke-functional-team.html

Read a past post about PNAU being weird
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/04/pnau-theyre-pretty-weird.html

Myspaces
http://www.myspace.com/pnaupnau
http://miamihorror.com/
http://www.myspace.com/ladyhawkerock

BUT SRSLY…
WTF IS BLOG HOUSE?

If I were an artist or rcrd lbl who was in the process of formulating a marketing strategy, I would ask myself, “How could I get a bunch of shitty mp3 blogs to blog about my artist to have a perpetual presence on hype machine?” The key would be getting either the endorsement from a top tier blog, or just having your artist remixed by an artist who is in the HypeMachine Top 20.

I think Ladyhawke has a good opportunity to be more than just ‘another artist on electro blog.’ She can be a relevant artist who even makes her way to the long tail of crappy music blogs that post things for the sake of ‘reporting news’, ‘posting popular mp3s to get hits’, and ‘reBlogging what the most respected blogs blog about.’ When it comes to getting to the top of hypemachine, you need to do more than just get blurbed about on 5 electro blogs. The key to the hypemachine is getting blogged about on as many crappy blogs as possible (the ones that post radiohead on a weekly basis).

Or you can just get blurbed about in Pitchfork.

Another interesting issue with HypeMachine is the fact that women don’t really dominate the hypemachine Charts. Other than Madonna, Feist, M.I.A., and Santogold, I can’t remember too many women who topped the charts (which are usually reserved for meaningful-core bands & bands that r kute+sound interesting). I just picture a lot of alt bros who use hype machine to search for women only when they need to make a playlist for a mainstream girl who they are trying to seduce.

Anyways, I think Ladyhawke has only had quality remixes done of “Paris Is Burning,” as opposed to just a bunch of shitty remixes. Utilizing Cut Copy & Peaches is definitely a brand-strengthener.

I wonder if Modular makes their signed artists remix their other artists. Is there a REMIX CLAUSE on the record contract that says “You have to rmx at least 2 of our other artists.” I hope so, cuz that’s ‘good business’/excellent forced cross-branding.

[MP3s (STREAM ONLY)]
Ladyhawke – Paris is Burning (Cut Copy Remix)

Ladyhawke – Paris is Burning (Peaches Remix)

Myspaces
http://www.myspace.com/ladyhawkerock
http://www.myspace.com/cutcopy
http://www.myspace.com/peaches

XX BONUS PEACHES MUSINGS XX
I wonder how Peaches’ career would have gone if she didn’t write that song about fucking away pain/sucking on her titties.

Did u know Peaches was Feist’s roommate when they lived in Canada?
Do u remember Feist? She was in that CD player thingy commercial.

Is Peaches the Karl Rove of women in music?

XX BONUS XX
INTERVIEW WITH LADYHAWKE