Lana Del Rey
Life hasn't been going so well for me. I remember when I starred alongside Lana Del Rey in her hit music video "Born To Die." Now look at me. I'm a tatted up male model with mad tats, even a tattoo on my forehead. Sure, it made me stand out, but maybe I took it too far. Liz asked me to do it! She told me she thought it was sexy! Maybe I will only be remembered for being 'the dude with the face tat' in Lana Del Rey's "Born To Die" video.
Things haven't been going so well for me lately. I thought I was on top of the world. I thought I had it all. Not just career-wise, but with the woman of my dreams.
I used to feel so at home with her. Yes, we had an off-cam romance. WIthout that type of off-screen chemistry, you can't have on-screen chem. We were just like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Do u know how much that hurts? And here I am, wearing some friggin silver chrome shorts and skating around town. I feel like a friggin dork! She promised me forever!
She promised me she'd save me if she ever became mainstream famous! UGH!
I miss that girl. She's CHANGED though. She used to say fame didn't matter to her. Boy was I stupid, but I hadn't listened to her music, where she was TOTALLY obsessed with fame. Ugh. I miss those days. UGH. I can't even watch the video any more.
We could've had it all, bb.
UGH! I feel like such a dork sk8r boi in the shorts! I shake my fist at u, Lizzie Grant! OLLIE TIME!
I guess we rlly wr just #Born_to_Die
Lana Del Rey is famous for having a rich daddy who sells internet domains. But what if I told you that she has a new daddy...? Guns N Roses lead singer Axl Rose. There is a 25 year age difference between Lana Del Rey and the old rocker dude. U gotta give him props for stealing her away from not just Marilyn Manson, but also that random dude from Scotland. 'The Media' is eager to write any blog post about Lana Del Rey being spotted with a random man. I am sorta tired of this 'musician phase' era of her love life, and hope that she soon moves on to C-list actors like Wilmer Valderamma, and other bros who have banged half of young Hollywood.
It's great to have grown with Lana. We know that she is addicted to fame, soaking up any promotional opportunity that she can to make us believe that she is in a relationship with some one. U gotta hand it to Axl for making up for the 25 year age difference if he is really 'tappin dat.' Do u think Lana is going thru so many men bc she has daddie issues, or does she just like the attention + she is so 'new' to fame that she is like 'OMG I can't believe I'm dating some1 famesies!'
Apparently she has a pre-existing b-side demo song about wanting to bang/bone Axl Rose. Seems sorta dark, like she has a pre-existing fetish. But I guess he is part of her whole 'old Hollywood' fetish.
From what I have researched on the internet, Axl Rose used to be a 'rocker twink' from the band Guns In Roses, but then he got 'hella chunky' because he hid from the world and only ate at Wendy's every day, or something..
Seems chill. vibin on some Chili Peps.
Miss u twinkie bangin bod!
R u happie for LDR and Axl?
Will they 'last'?
Does Lana Del Rey have an 'old man fetish'?
Has she upgraded on rocker boyfriends?
Can Guns N Roses 'make it' in2 the indiesphere?
Does Lana need 2 settle down with 1 man?
Should Lana Del Rey 'get a DUI' and 'go to rehab' just to stay on course for a predictable mainstream existence?
Lana BB! Ur on top of the effing world! Rockin ur MILLION DOLLAR SMILE on the cover of VOGUE Maggyzines!
I remember when every1 was mean 2 u. But then u ignored it and got MORE FAMOUS. Now ur a MILLIONARE, sitting on a PILE OF MONEY, and u can have ANYONE love you, even if it is a goth man like MarryLynne Manson. I hope ur not dating him. With a body and smile like urs, u deserve a TRUE HOTTIE ROCKER, like Kid Rock or Uncle Kracker or something like that.
OMG! I can see ur butt cheek! Have u been using the leg lift machine at the gym? Me 2! I am trying to work on firming up my CORE.
Oh Lana BB... U've got it all... A great smile, face, voice, bod, and any man in the world that u want.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Lana Del Rey!
Adele who? #TeamDalRay
What if I told you that Lana Del Rey was just like you and me: she went shopping at alternative retailers to buy clothes that would fall apart within 2 months? Well, she is, which is why Lana Del Rey was spotted shopping at Urban Outfitters. According to this EXCLUSIVE HISPTER RUNOFF FAN REPORT + STALKER PHOTO:
Vassup lil carles? I was at urban outfitters in Soho today and I saw the bb Lana shopping with this guy. They were touching on each other... What would Marilyn say!?
What do u think LDR is buying?
Some wacky t-shirts with bullshit on them?
Some dumb blog-to-books?
'Entry level alt whore' outfits?
Maybe Lana Del Rey is trying 2 be alt again?
Who is the mystery man that she is canoodling with?
Is Lana Del Rey dating Marilyn Manson?
Does LDR at Urby make u want to shop there more or less?
Does LDR look good, bb?
Lana Del Rey became a famous American meme when she TANKED on Saturday Night Live. However, since then she's sold over a million copies worldwide since the rest of the world eats up artists like LDR as if they are 'beautiful' or something. She has basically tricked all of the lamestreamers who like Lady Gaga and Adele into thinking that she is a comparable byproduct, because I guess lamestreamers just like to listen to broads singing.
Anyways, LDR went on American Idol and performed 'Video Games.' It's funny to think about how Lana Del Rey 'never had to tour' because she got so internet famous, so she just plays huge TV shows and private VIP banquets/sponsored experiences. It must be nice. Anyways, this performance was terrible and boring, but I guess now she finally knows how to not make it AS terrible and boring by having an orchestra section.
At least she was SHOWING SOME SKIN!
Here is her canoodling with Ryan Seacrest
Was this performance 'effing terrible'?
Did LDR 'kill it' and/or 'nail it'?
Is she b0ring?
Does any1 who ever thought 'Video Games' was beautiful need 2 be removed as a tastemaker?
Is Lana Del Rey officially 'as mainstream as it gets' now that she was on American Idol?
Lana BB! Say it ain't so! Ur canoodling with the PRINCE OF DARKNESS Marilyn Manson!
He's evil, bb! He actually reminds me of my exBF. He was all into being GOTH and DEATH and one time he almost KILLED ME with a satanic ritual! I'm NOT gonna let that happen to my Lana! One time I actually went to prison for a short time because he killed all the cats in our apartment complex to use in a ritual to try to talk to dead people. He was WEIRD, but I had a 1 year lease signed with him and nowhere else to go. :-(
I hope Lana is NOT dating Marilyn Manson!
I DO NOT think he can please u in the bedroom! I don't think he even has a peen, but I guess u could straddle his chest and ride one of his moobs.
UGH! GROSS! But I shouldn't be talking anyways :-(
Lana BB! I need you to get back with your REAL boyfriend, Barrie James O'Neill! He's a dreamy McHotHot!
Luv U Lana! Stay the same! And DO NOT date a goth guy! Trust me!
Lady Gaga who? #TeamLDR4evr
If you've seen one Lana Del Rey video, you've seen them all. There's always just face tatted bros who are trying to fingerbang her in a meaningful way. We get it. You like face tat bros.
Is there n e thing left 2 say abt Lana Del Rey?
Should indie blogs stop 'covering' her?
Is she a mainstrmr?
Do u 'care'?
Did she let down every1 by not wearing a 2 piece bathing suit and showing off that BANGIN ASS BOD?
R u 'over' 'dis bitch'?
Lana BB! Say it ain't so! Ur undies r showing!
Honestly, I know this might be kinda emberressing 4 u 2 have ur UNDERPANTS all over the internet, but it makes it look like ur a REAL celeb! Ur SO FAMOUS now, it is hard 2 believe indie blogs EVER cared abt u. Now ur PANTIES are EVERY WHERE, and in case u were wondering, they are some KEUT see-thru pink lace shear bad boys. U r the DEFANITION of a HOTTIE MC HOTHOT, bb!
My ex always used to buy me sexy underwear to ignite our relationship in the bedroom, but I just felt too insecure when I wore that stuff. It felt like a lil piece of floss in my butt crack, and it would smell SO bad when I took them off.
Honestly, I would play video games ALL DAY if it meant I could have a bangin body like u. Unfortunately, NO ONE cares abt my underpants. They are just cheapo granny panties from WalMart anyways :-(
U should be PROUD that ur panty shot will be in Google 4evr, next to such Upskirt Hall of Famers like Emma Watson and Paris Hilton! I am HAPPY that ur wearing PANTIES, and not showing off ur #Cooch! Ur a CLASSY girl, bb!
Lady Gaga who? #TeamLDR!
Adele SUX! #TEAMLANA
Lana BB! Say it ain't so! Just last week u were a FASHION ICON! But now ur wearing the ugliest outfit I have EVER seen in my entire life.
WHY the EFF r u hiding ur BANGIN BOD? U've got it all, bb! International fame, riches, a HOTTIE Boyfriend, and most importantly, an AMAZING figure! U do NOT have to wear these zany clothes. Honestly, it looks like u r wearing the pants of a frumpy high schooler who just went shopping at a thrift store and came out looking like a crazy old lady. BB ur BETTER than Goodwill.
Ur shoes look Converse All Star hipster, bb! But at the same time, UGH! They remind me of this BITCH teenager who works at the movie theatre by my house and always gives me a DIRTY look when I put all the butter I want on my popcorn. #selfServe4life
Honestly, I shouldn't be so judgmental. As long as u smile, u r beautiful, because it is what is on the inside that truely matters. #U_Go_Girl!
Live 4 u, #LDR!
Ur an ICON, and no1 can TAKE THAT away from u!
Do u think LDR looks good, bb? Or is she a COMPLETE FASHION DISASTER NIGHTMARE?
Lana BB! Is that u? I can hardly even recognize u underneath that coonskin cap!
Honestly, I've been thinking a lot abt u. I just hope ur doing okay dealing with the mainstream fame that has been thrust upon u. As u once said, we were ALL born 2 die, which I think is VERY true, much like the racoon that is on top of ur head was BORN TO DIE, LITERALLY because all racoons should be made into fun lil hats, in my opinion. One time when I was living with my ex in the woods, all we ate for a month straight was fried coon, but then one of them had rabies and he got it. Unfortunately, he passed.
Lana looks REAL good in ANYTHING, honestly.
Ur a mainstream fashion icon, bb! Ur t0tally my muse. Here's a picture of my estranged nephew from his 5th grade play about the Alamo. He got the lead as Davey Crockett! Speaking of which. I miss Davey Jones. He defined the sound of my 20s.
Don't make her sad
Don't make her cry, bb!
Some1 get my a coonskin cap because those are honestly HOT, HOT, HOT!
Lady Gagwho? #Team@LDR
Shannon BB! Ur looking good! Is there something new about ur look? It sorta reminds me of some1....
Who is it?...
I can't quite put my finger on it...
OMG It's mnstrm singer Lana Del Rey!
Yall r srsly splitting images of 1 another... and WE are LOVING it [via McDonalds]
U used to be the World's BIGGEST Lady Gaga Fan, but now ur ALL About LANA DEL REY!
And u know what? We sorta like the refined, classy, sophisticated look. As if looking like Lana Del Rey was not enough, she even COVERED Lana Del Rey, outdoing Lana Del Rey at her own song "Born To Die."
Listen to Shannon Del Rey's beautiful cover of "Born to Die" by Lana Del Rey.
#WeLoveShannonDelRey (please let us make this trend on Twitter at 4 PM Singapore time!
Ur a girl of many faces!
What's Shannon's best look?
Should she be Shannon Gaga or Shannon Del Rey?
Is LDR/Lady Gaga 4 mnstrmrs who like to pretend that they are in2 high-end art?
Does Shannon Del Rey have it all?
Will she become the next Lana or the next Lady?
The buzzosphere is a wicked, cruel, and somtimes nonsensical place. Few know who will be buzzed, why they will be buzzed, and whether or not they will be cyberbullied, slutshamed, or talked about like they are the next big thing. I think Azealia Banks is supposed to the annual 'equal opportunity' buzz human that the white indiesphere says, "She's cool, let her into our whites only club", sort of like how one M.I.A./Santigold/Rye Rye has to be harvested every year. Lana Del Rey was sorta like the girl who fit in 'too much', and had a bangin bod, so she had to live in an isolation cell where she was perpetually cyberbullied. It's a cruel, cruel world, and if you spend too much time trying to make sense of it, you might end up in a very dark place.
Anyways, the 2 were spotted bronoodling with tier one UK celeb Pixie Geldof at a recent Mulberry fashion show. No idea who/what Mulberries is, but I guess they want YOU to know by designing this new handbag called 'The Del Rey'!
I need to pick up a Del Rey so I can lug around my maxi pads with wings and chewing gum!
I love watching LDR 'get more famous'! She's lovin it! [via McDonalds]
Photos via Pedestrian.tv
OMG! Is that the Olsen sister not named Mary Kate or Ashley?
LDR = VIP
It's u, it's u, it's all 4 u, LDR!
She has it all...
Blipster It Girl BFFS...
Olsen sisters in her rolodex...
her own handbag...
front row at some fashion show...
1 million record sales worldwide...
a Brit Award....
a deep hatred of America...
And the ability to turn the entire world on with her smile!
Do u <3 LDR?
Do u think Azealia Banks is 'the real deal' or just another buzz human force down our throats without the mnstrm appeal of LDR?
Is it impossible to take female buzz artists srsly?
IS LDR 'the ultimate muse'?
R u gonna buy a Del Rey bag to carry around ur adult diapers in?
Is LDR 'UK famous', 'USA famous' or 'everywhere famous'?
Lana Del Rey is a meme that was harvested in America, but then the UK pop starlet buzz machine got ahold of her, and she is basically one of the most famous ppl in the UK now. Anyways, she won the Brit Award for 'Best International Breakthru Artist', which I guess means she is a new foreigner who won over the hearts of Brits. She made an anti-American speech, basically saying 'the ass holes in America made me flee the country. This is my new home. I hate American indie blogs bc they are mean and they all were mean 2 me after SNL when it actually wasn't that bad. It's nice to feel safe in the arms of ppl in the UK who are less judgmental and their taste in music isn't 'trying so hard.'
She definitely h8s America. I wonder if she will even bother touring America ever.
Did LDR look good, bb?
Do ppl in the UK have 'terrible taste in music'?
Does LDR deserve 2 h8 America?
Did America as a whole cyberbully Lana Del Rey?
Will Lana Del Rey win a Grammy next year 4 'Best New Artist'?
WTF is a 'Brit Award'?
Did Will.I.Am look swag while he gave LDR her award?
Is the American Indie Media just a bunch of 'old, bitter meanie heads'?
Did u notice how in her acceptance speech, she thanked so many ppl who built her corrupt plan to exploit the indie buzzosphere to mainstream success?
Lana BB! Ur out and abt with ur Hottie McHotHot BF, Barrie James O'Neill! It must be nice to be Lana Del Rey's boyfriend. You have the most coveted mainstream diva in the game in ur arms. She must have some sort of Lord of the Rings fantasy, or vibe out to some Braveheart-style roleplaying. To each her own... Sigh....
Yall DEFANATELY are NOT playing VhheheeehdeeeoohooyooGHHaaYMMEESSSAAAHH tonight! Instead, ur out on a date to WHERE EVER LDR wants to go.
Who woulda thought, we spent all this time talking abt her indie cred when her true value was LOOKING BANGIN in some CANOODLING PIX.
Lana BB! Ur looking CURVY and AMAZEBALLS. How do u FIT all those curves in2 ur TINY, BEAUTAFUL figure?
Where'd u get ur jeans? Mervyn's? Marshalls? Kohl's? I NEED 2 get me a pair, bb!
I am jealous of Lana Del Rey.
She has it all.
Over 1 million records sold worldwide.
And a DREAMBOAT BF named Barrie James O'Neill.
UGH. I need to start a youtube channel and make more mashups so that eventually I can become an internationally known diva.
Does LDR look good?
Should she date some one more famous?
When will Lana Del Rey and Barrie James O'Neill breakup?
Do u think he calls her 'Lizzie Grant' or 'Lana'?
Shannon Gaga is known as the #1 Lady Gaga fan in the world. But what if I told you that she was no longer a Little Monster, and instead, turning into a #Lana_Del_R8tr! She is an ALL OUT Lana Del Rey fan these days. She recently went in the studio and recorded an AMAZING cover of Lana Del Rey's "Born To Die." She is rumored to have lost interest in Lady Gaga, and found love and inspiration in the words and stylings on Lana Del Rey.
Does Shannon Gaga sound better than Lana Del Rey?
Does Shannon look good, bb?
Is Shannon Gaga OFFICIALLY Shannon Del Rey?
Does Lana Del Rey have more mainstream appeal than evr?
Has she 'crossed over'?
Can u believe she sold over 1 million albums worldwide?
Is LDR going to be more mainstream than Lady Gaga?
Can Shannon Gaga's first album make her more famous than both Lana and Gaga?
Will Shannon Gaga change her name to Shannon Dal Ray?
Please enjoy Shannon Gaga's "Yoü And I."
The GOSSIP RAGS have been going GAGA for #LDR, wanting to know EVERYTHING about her personal life. I'm sure that's way more chill than tons of random pretentious indie blogs doing every thing that they can to discredit your artistic intentions and personal aspirations. At least she 'won' the war against indie critics by selling mad albums.
The pair finally confirmed they are a couple last night, months after we first reported on their romance.
Video Games star Lana and Barrie were first spotted together at the Tartan Clef awards in Glasgow in November.
Canoodling at the Tartan Clef awards? Sounds like a a dream night!
A source close to Kassidy told the Razz: “I can confirm they are together.”
Lana, 25, has been gushing about Glasgow and told us in November that she visits as often as possible.
She said: “Glasgow is different. It’s very welcoming.”
Does that mean that they don't have internet connections in Scotland?
From what I can tell based on pictures, Kassidy is a ruralwave artist from Scotland. Sorta like how Fleet Foxes and Bon Iver are from the Midwestern American forest, but Kassidy is actually from where ever Lord of the Rings is based. They have beards and long hair.
Here is some song, that features some intense bear dudes playing mad acoustic guitars. Sounds like a song that would be in an American truck commercial.
Here's another video if ur into bearded bros with long hair.
I hope I can turn into LDR's 'type' in the next 3-4 months.
I hope some random fan captured video of this cover emerges, and every blog will have a meme headline, "Watch Lana Del Rey's boyfriend cover VIDEO GAMES."
Kassidy have taken to ending their live shows with a cover of LDR’s No1 smash, Video Games.
Our source said: “They make an unlikely couple but seem to work and bounce well off one another.”
I rlly want to be the other half of her unlikely couple. :-(
UGH. I'm so jeal of this bro. I need to grow out a long, flowing mane of hair and a beard! I wanna canoodle with Lana Del Rey!
Does any1 care about Barrie James O’Neill as a human, or is he just "Lana Del Rey's boyfriend"?
Should she find a hotter hunk?
Do u <3 Kassidy?
Will #LDR and #BJO breakup when his band doesn't become as famous as her, then she will date a famous mainstream movie star?
Who should Lana Del Rey date?
Should she be able to date an A-List hunk celebrity, and not just some busker who signed a record contract?
Do u wish LDR happiness?
Will this relaish last 4 evr, or will the distance tear them apart?
Do u h8 filthy Scottish men?
Lana BB! Say it ain't so! I hope ur toof isn't rotting away....
But I guess the fame and fortune finally got 2 u. I know that whenever I am under tons of stress, I will ALWAYS end up eating TONS of junkfood. It's like my body just CRAVES carbs. I DUNNO WHY, but I will seriously give myself diabetes in a matter of hours. Honestly if I was rich and famous like u, i would probably eat a lot of junk food since it would be SO cheap. Maybe even expensive desserts like at Panera Breads.
Ur gold tooth looks good, bb!
Honestly all the Lana haters need to BACK OFF. She's DEFANATELY the NEXT ADELE, except way skinnier and prettier. Don't get me wrong, I am a bit overweight, but at the same time, I value SKINNY girls who KEEP THEMSELVES IN SHAPE. It just shows that they care abt health and fitness and dieting THE RIGHT WAY. Ugh. I dunno why I ever tried diet pills. I have to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, and some liquidy poo drips out of my bumhole! It's embarassing, and I don't want to have to start wearing diapers because then I might get an infection because poo will go into my chachki.
Lana BB! Ur honestly THE BEST in THE WORLD.
Let's get dental insurance 2gether, babe!
FionaCrapple who? #TEAMLDR
Lana Del Rey is the luckiest girl alive, but more importantly, the luckiest new buzzband human alive. She sold mad albums, and really only performed like 10 songs total 4 a live audience. Now, she doesn't have to 'tour' because touring is 2 try to make money because u didn't sell albums, but she already sold albums, so she can be like 'whatevz. I'm just gonna chill, milk the spotlight, and do some random TV performances.'
She was on Kimmel playing "Video Games", and it was boring/forgettable. It is like she 'isn't even trying', but I guess she doesn't have 2. God Bless her. She truly has it all. I'm more interested in hearing tons of grown ass men scream "Lana! Lana! Laannnaaa!" than actually hearing her mutter her way thru another rendition of "VEEHHHDEEEOOGHAAAMMMES."
Did LDR 'tank'?
aRe u more interested in the 'fans' of LDR than her actual performances?
Will she get mobbed2death [via being Born2die]?
Is she still a relevant buzz criticism meme, or is she in the 'safe zone' of officially just being celeb gossip blog eye candy?
The New York Times is allegedly one of the 'last authentic content farms' in the game, writing long 'pieces' with serious words that 'sound important and authoritative', which is why they NAILED IT by calling Lana Del Rey 'a skinnier Adele.' It's a great moment for American alt music journalism, sticking it to 'the goddamn British' and hefty mainstreamers who <3 Adele.
Curvaceous and pretty in a dress, she brims with catchy songs, all a bit retro, ironic and modern. Without straying too far off the pop grid, she’s the perfect antidote to Rihanna-Gaga overload — dare we say, a skinnier Adele, a more stable Amy Winehouse?
Say what you will about the New York Times, but at the end of the day, fattie hating sells papers. Would u rather wake up every morning next 2 Adele or Lana Del Rey? It's just natural selection. Hopefully Lana Del Rey will become 'less stable' so we can have Amy Winehouse level memes. ("I do not actually wish death upon her, because she is good 4 hits and because she is a human being." -a blggr)
Say what u will abt Adele's body, but at the end of the day, she is one of the greatest chubwave artists in the history of the chubwave movement, and you can easily photoshop a chicken drumstick into any photo of her.
Should she ride post-chubwaves and become a 'half-ton' woman who cannot leave her house, but still performs at the Grammys [via Skype]? Many ppl say that we should not worry abt physical appearance when judging females, but it's just part of the game. Lana Del Rey dedicated herself 2 beauty, and she was rewarded fairly. She could even get a second round of enhancements for her second album. Only time will tell, but she will certainly have more access 2 better, high-priced surgeons.
Anyways, there was also an accompanying Terry Richardson photoshoot, but Lana did NOT get naked for it :-(
Cmon Terry... U gotta at least get Lana to show some nip 4 us, or take off her top.
Lana looks good, bb! They can NEVER take that away from u.
Does Lana look good, bb?
Should she gain more weight to sell Adele level albums?
Is it good 2 h8 fatties?
Are we all trying 2 battle obesity?
Would u rather ride slutwaves than chubwaves?
Did Terry Richardson let every1 down by not convincing LDR to 'get naked', show off some nip, and let us know more abt her BANGIN bod?
Now that Lana Del Rey has sold 'mad albums', we begin trying to figure out 'who are her fans'? It seems like she will have to form an official name for her tribe, similar to Lady Gaga's monsters. Do u have a name for her fans? So far the best thing I can think of is "Lana Del R8trz."
At a recent in in-store signing at one of the last authentic record stores in America that hasn't closed yet, Amoeba Records, Lana Del Rey's fans WENT CRAZY for her. It seems like she has a tribe of 'lamestreamy alts', entry level alts, AltGays, and QT entry-level girls who have gone CRAZIE 4 her.
How can we STEREOTYPE and GENERALIZE her fans?
Photos by Lee Shaner
LDR has it all. Fame. Rivieras. Mad album sales. Fans who will die 4 her. Beauty. Dudes with face tats.
Everybody Loves LDR
'U look good, Lana BB!'
'I cried after taking a self-pic with Lizzy Grant Rey'
Yall r keut, but need more Lana inspired fashion gear
Just waiting outside, want 2 consume indie culture LIVE
'No, YOU go play your video games, bb!'
Will LDR begin wearing #tech_vests?
Blipster <3s LDR
God Bless the Gangster Spirit of Nancy Sinatra
Me n the girls abt 2 see Lana!
Me n the girls abt 2 see Lana!
'Dude, I'm just here to buy some vintage records. Who are all these weirdo post-tween alts and alt gheys?' -child predator bro in the front
'Let's troll this bitch!'
'Ugh I just wanted 2 buy some prog rock vinyl but some BUZZ FLAVOR of the month had to ruin my shopping experience.'
We will remember this moment forever.
Photos by Lee Shaner
Does Lana Del Rey 'have it all'?
Does she have a core group of fans that will never abandon her?
Does this look like fun?
Will the Lana Del R8rz be with her forever?
How would u stereotype and generalize her core group of fans?
What markets does she appeal 2?
What is a good name for Lana Del Rey's fan tribe?
Is LDR the famousest person in the world?
Is #LANAMANIA the new #lisztomania?
Do u <3 her gold tooth?
Lana Del Rey's album Born To Die was widely panned by the peons of the Corrupt Indie Machine. However, it seems like she 'effing killed it', using the 'tank on SNL' marketing strategy 2 cruise her way to the #2 spot in America. She sold 77k albums in the United States.
People constantly debate whether the phrase, “All publicity is good publicity,” actually has any credence, but in the case of Lana Del Rey, the saying has proven itself true.
After nearly six months of feverish online debate — her name! her lips! her backstory! — the divisive songstress, whose poorly received performance on SNL launched a thousand blog posts, lands high on this week’s chart. Her debut album Born to Die debuted at No. 2 on the Billboard 200, selling a solid 77,000 (if not spectacular, considering its marketing budget) copies.
Impressively, Del Rey accomplished this feat without a single bona fide “hit” to her name. Although her recent video for “Born to Die” has amassed over 19 million views, she has only charted one song domestically: “Video Games,” and that only reached No. 91 on the Hot 100. Understandably, 74 percent of her album sales were digital downloads.
More importantly, she sold 117k albums in the UK, which confirms that ppl from the UK 'have no taste' and will fall in <3 with any vaguely buzzed cute human if she 'looks right.' You have to tip ur hat to Lana Del Rey's marketing team for creating an internationally acclaimed artist who can sell MAD albums to lonely women who are tired of listening to Adele, needing a zanier, artsyfartsier voice in their Honda Civic stereo. She probably also appeals to 'the gays'.
1. Adele, 21 – 122,000
2. Lana Del Rey, Born To Die – 77,000
3. Leonard Cohen, Old Ideas – 41,000
4. Various Artists, 2012 Grammy Nominees – 34,000
5. Kidz Bop Kids, Kidz Bop 21 – 30,000
6. Drake, Take Care – 30,000
7. Tim McGraw, Emotional Traffic – 29,000
8. Fred Hammond, God, Love And Romance – 26,000
9. LMFAO, Sorry For Party Rocking – 22,000
10. Rihanna, Talk That Talk – 22,000
LDR has done it. She is OFFICIALLY mnstrm.
She can officially purchase a riviera.
She is OFFICIALLY tabloid material.
We did it. We all did our part 2 get her there. This was a community effort.
Congrats, bb! We were HERE 4 U since THE BEGINNING. Plz don't forget abt us when ur richer and famouser!
Love, random blogs that posted 'Video Games' during its buzz incubation phase
Will indie blogs stop posting about LDR?
Will LDR morph into the new Lana Gaga?
Does LDR have it all?
Is she as mnstrm as it gets?
R u tired of LDR?
Did she 'beat' the Corrupt Indie Machine, utilizing the flaws in the system to actually 'overcome'/leapfrog 'the system'?
Will M.I.A. now 'sell mad albums' because of her meltdown, or does LDR 'actually made decent music'?
Does Lana Del Rey have everything and u have nothing except angry tweets on the internet?
Will there be a KIDZ BOP version of 'Video Games'?
Lana BB! Is that U? I HARDLY recognize u underneath ur baseball cap!
That's a keut look, bb! U look REAL sporty. Sorta like Sporty Spice, except ur not all butch and gross. Honestly, I hate it when women get TOO buff and they lose their boobs because they just have pectoral muscles. It sorta makes me afraid to work out.
It's honestly not fair how beautiful u r. U truly inspire me, bb! At my 4th grade talent show, I was booed off the stage, and they threw rotten tomataeos at me. I wish u were a role model then to give me the strength 2 survive their non-cyber bullying. I guess that is IRL bullying.
I need to get a cap because I HATE when the sun gets in my eyes!
I probably COULD NOT make it WORK like u do.
U've got it all, Lana BB!
A bangin bod, a thriving career, and a sassy NY ball cap!
I wanna go there soooooon. Ugh I need to start saving. I hope they have that hat in a merch store! I wanna get an I <3 NY shirt, too!
Kristen Wiig is doing her best to break into the INDIE SCENE. First, she started dating [ALLEGEDLY] the drummer guy from the Strokes, Fabrizio Moretti [link]. Now she did some impersonation of Lana Del Rey. It wasn't really funny, and not worth watching because she is a one-trick pony who just plays the same female character over-and-over again. Just some skit that was probably written by an LDR apologist feminist comedy writer. Not sure if LDR even matters any more, or if her meme ship has sailed, so they probably should have just 'panned the eff out of her' instead of making it seem like they are on #TeamLana.
Anyways, Kristen Wiig is clearly trying to win over 'the indie-leaning blogosphere.' Next thing you know, she will have her own IFC original series [via Fred Armisen]. I have no idea why she is so obsessed with alt culture. I guess she didn't have a phase in her life where she ESSED the DEEs of random members of bands, so now she is 'catching up' at a later stage in her life.
She prob needs to leave SNL soon since she already has 'mad Bridesmaids bank' but she is probably addicted to the week-to-week buzz spotlight and watching herself do the same character over and over again that was fresh 4 years ago.
Having said that, I'd take Wiig over Tina Fey any day. Based both on looks AND comedy gimmickry.
Is Kristen Wiig 'obsessed with alt'?
Is she 'indie'?
Was this LDR impression 'good'/'relevant'?
Did SNL provide cutting edge cultural commentary on LDRgate?
Did u forget who LDR was?
Is LDR a pop culture legend, or just a meme?
Will Moretti take Wiig from Bridesmaids to bride?
Lana Del Rey's Letterman performance was boring and forgettable, so any1 who wasted their time formulating an opinion on it is probably some obsessed loser. At the end of the day, Lana is CATAPULTING in2 mainstream fame, and most indie blogs will be forced to stop posting her bc she is so mnstrm and tweens + Middle Americans <3 her. These are her fans loving her outside of David Letterman's Ed Sullivan Theatre.
Lana has fans. They love her. She loves them.
Fan: We love u Lana! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: Nooo. I love U! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: We promise! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: UGHH YALL ARE THE BEST. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: NO! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u!!!
Fan: Honestly, Lana... It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: No. I could not be here without ur <4 It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: Take a pic with me? It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: Ur the best. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: SRSLY THO. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: Stop! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: Nooo. We mean it! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: Thnx. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: U were GREAt on SNL! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: AW... Thanks... It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: When's ur next album coming out? It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: I dunno. Prob like 2 years. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: I can't wait! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: Thnks. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: Congrats on iTunes Sales. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: Ur the 1 who bought it! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: I'm in heaven. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: It's 4 u. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: Every little thing u do. It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: Wanna play some viddy games in the Letterman green room? It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Fan: I tell u ALL the time, bb! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
LDR: No. I tell YOU all the time! It's U, It's U, it's all 4 u.
Maybe it's all 4 every1...
Here is her Letterman performance. It is boring, but at the end, David Letterman gets a 'hard on' as if he is trying to seduce a 19 year old intern.
Who is it all 4?
Is it u, u, or all 4 u?
Is this what u wanted?
Did u find urself in the flashbulbs? #BecomingLana
Every1 is waiting for the OFFICIAL Lana Del Rey album sales returns. We've seen her label go on a MAJOR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN, which has probably paid off bc she is selling mad copies on iTunes [link]. When we find out how much she sold, we will finally know if she was 'just a human meme', 'just another crappy indie artist', or a LEGITIMATE FORCE IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY THAT WILL BE AROUND FOREVER AS A MUSICIAN AND A SEX ICON. Based on early returns, it is clear that Lana Del Rey will be a mainstay in music for the next several decades.
Apparently she is projected to sell around 60,000 albums. This can be called a MASSIVE SUCCESS 4 an artist who came out of nowhere and truly 'changed the way the internet music game was played.'
According to Hits Daily Double, opening day sales figures suggest her major label debut “Born to Die” is on track for between 55-60,000. The album won’t top Adele’s still-absurdly-strong “21″ on the charts, but it should definitely land respectably on the Billboard 200.
IS this a 'flop' because she didn't land at #1?
Or is this a HUGE SUCCESS bc of her indie roots?
Should other indie bands be PISSED at indie music websites for not turning them into memes that actually compelled mainstream interest in them?
Is the indie blogosphere set up to 'cyberbully' these days, not 'cyber-posi-hype'?
Although bands and brands pay million dollars for PR + image brand management, it seems clear that the best way to promote urself is by EFFING TANKING on a nationally televised/overvalued performance so that every1 knows who u r. Then lamestreamers will know abt u. Those are basically the ppl u have to 'win over' in order to sell, not 'a-holes on the internet' who are so obsessed with the sound of their own voice that it it unlikely that they will ever enjoy anything.
You have to appload LDR's business acumen. Today, she is on top of the world, meeting with a realtor to purchase a riviera.
Does LDR have it all?
Will these numbers prove 2 be false?
Was LDR #Born2Sell?
R u jealous of LDR?
Is this the greatest thing that the indie blogosphere will ever produce?
Did the blogosphere help her by 'bullying her'?
Should artists look to be hated by every1?
Did she finally find her home in the pop-o-sphere?
Does Lana Del Rey need to 'gain a lot of weight' so that she can ride chubwaves 2 album sales with Adele?
Lana Del Rey was 'panned' by critics on websites all around the Americas. However, it was important for Lana and her major label to 'flex their muscles' and show off who was really in charge. They purchased MAJOR AD SPACES across some of the most 'important tastemakers in the scene.' I think this wasn't really for 'marketing', but instead a psychological move to let editors and website operators know 'who was really in charge', 'who was the famous-est', and who was really making the $$$$.
Here is a look at a few of the sites she was spotted on. Thank you all for the emails and screen shots.
Pitchfork: Pitchfork panned her, but that doesn't mean she can't vibe on their homepage. Many alts are 'pissed off' that they accepted 'dirty Lana Money', conspiracy theorizing that they took a bribe to double her score to a 5.5.
NPR: Didn't really read this, but if I had to guess, it was probably the 'soft ass feminist pan.' I rlly wish that the government would shut down NPR so that it would give true DIY indie blogs a chance, instead of govt dollars warping the shape + taste of cool dads.
SPIN: I think they 'panned her', but I don't think it was a mean pan bc she'll probably be on their cover within the next 18 months. Not sure if any1 reads their magazine/site 'for opinions', though. Think it is mainly just 'lifestyle'.
The Fader: I don't think they say anything mean about any1, which is why they basically got a LANA DEL REPORT style ad takeover.
Is LDR 'flexing her muscles'?
Did u see her ads anywhere?
Does this just prove that the 'critics' are ultimately 'in the pocket' of major labels?
Will LDR 'piss on' all of the 'crappy h8 blogs' with mad album sales in the first week?
U gonna pick this album up at Target or what?
Unchill AZN Bro...
Not like this
PANDA EFFING DEL REY
r u kidding me?
This is a really difficult time for all of us
The Lana Del Rey album buzz lifecycle is closing
and now u go and get plastic surgery to try to keep her buzz going
piggybacking ur buzz off her buzz?
I srsly don't know what my site is going to do without premium LDR content
and now u go and make a traveshamockery out of the LDReport
I mean, ur lips seems chill
but I just don't know any more
This is the end of an era.
So can u plz chill out
and let us all vibe in peace
instead of harshing the eff out of us?
Lana Del Rey's career has been widely covered in 'recap posts', mainly for mad hits from lamestreamers who want to be all like 'How did Lana Del Rey get 2 where she is now?' Anyways, whenever there is an internationally acclaimed meme or news story, some random ass Japanese people make a Second-Life-wave animated version, recapping the story, and provide post-ironically funnie commentary on it, sorta because it is for 'crazy foreigners. The video showcases every inch of Lana Del Rey's AMAZING curves.
It looks EGGZACKLY like #LDR!
She was crowned a HIPSTER QUEEN, yall!
Critics like Pitchfork Blog TOTALLY h8 Lana Del Rey! They PANNED the eff out of her [via pans] [via literally beating her with pans]
Remember when she put the SNL audience 2 sleep? #ZZZZZZ
I guess in the end, we all wish that we were #BORN2ARICHFATHER
Was this FUNNIE or SAD or do u feel like u just watched ur entire life flash before ur eyes?
Here is the Broken-English Version:
Should Lana Del Rey get her own animated series for Saturday Morning cartoons?
Will they animate the purchase of her first riviera?
Does Lana look good?
Are critics 'mean' [via PANNING]?
Does Lana Del Rey have it all 2day?
Do u hope that 1 day u are captured in animated Japanese video format?
Does this make you want to see Lana Del Rey in anime porn / hentai?
Will Lana Del Rey have a hotel room meltdown with prostitutes, showing off her naked bare ass?
Lana Del Rey says 'Eff U' to all the fat, grey-haired internet critics, has '#1 album in 11 countries'By Carles on 31 Jan 2012
Yesterday was a 'fuckfest' for music websites and music writers with inflated egos, all looking to 'gangbang' poor little Lana Del Rey with mean words attempting to dissect her art and music. However, #LDR took to twitter in order to tell her fans 'i love yall', while at the same time telling her h8rz "Yall are paying my effing bill, bitches!" Do u think haters are paying LDR's bills, or did she just break thru 2 lamestream markets/Lady Gaga wanna-be artsyfartsy tweens?
Thank you for making the record #1 in 11 countries. Your sweet words have softened the effect of even the harshest reviews. I adore you
Her record is '#1' on iTunes in 'at least 11 countries'
UK, Germany, France, Austria, Belgium, Finland, Greece, Ireland, Luxembourg, Portugal and Switzerland are the countries where Lana del Rey is located at No. 1 on iTunes in the early hours of the new album
Many music industry insiders say that 'if you can win the hearts of the Luxembourgers, you can win the entire world.' It seems as though she has done just that, basically creating a frenzy in the country with about 500k people. Every one believed that Lana Del Rey would have MASSIVE INTERNATIONAL SUCCESS because most people in Europe have bad taste in music and her brand/aesthetic really hits their sweet spot.
Based on this 'screenshot', Lana Del Rey has the #1 album in the US iTunes store as well.
'We love u Lana! We've been supportive of u since day 1! Don't forget us. I actually sorta need a loan. Do u have any extra buzz bucks/real money?'
-LDR's old trailer park friends calling her up
'We love u Lana! We've been supportive of u since day 1! we never wrote anything mean abt u!'
-Magazine/website editor jonesing 4 LDR [EXCLUSIVES]
Did Lana Del Rey just 'take a piss' on all the critics'?
Did LDR 'breakthru' to Middle America?
Are album sales just 'really, really, really bad' in January?
Are iTunes screenshots 'misleading'?
Is LDR 'laughing all the way to the bank'?
If Lana Del REy is successful, does that mean we get to harvest her memes 4evr?
If LDR is 'actually successful', does that mean HIPSTER RUNOFF is trapped being the Lana Del Report?
Will Lana Del Rey 'have the last laugh' [via vibing out in her own Riviera]?