I love my son. He truly is the mirror image of me. It’s kinda weird how kids are so impressionable… sorta reminds me of consumers… Maybe kids and consumers have the same kind of brain… all of us have so many wants and needs, and maybe products really can fulfill us/make us happy. Srsly though… u should see his iPod… we have a lot of the same pop-electro sensibilities, but also an appreciation of indie conceptual ballads.

I feel like I might buy these Daft Punk dolls for my son. I never really let him watch traditional kid programming (crap like Sesame Street, Muppets, Dora The Explorer, etc). Mainly just put art films/indie movies ‘on repeat’ in his play room DVD player. He absolutely loves the hit film Electroma. I don’t really think it is healthy for him to identify with characters that every other kid on the planet has identified with for the past 20+ years. I want him to be a pure alternative spirit (This is why I made his mother birth him in a pool of Sparks while listening to Animal Collective’s hit album “Sung Tongs”).

I want my son to have a ’special’ Christmas, and not just because it is Christmas and kids ‘get kewl shit.’ I need my son to have a truly unique Christmas that he will remember forever. I am considering ‘booking’ a relevant buzzband to play a few of their hit songs when he comes down the stairs on Xmas morning. Might also commission some sort of mp3 to be created by Sufjan Stevens.

////beginning 2 brainstorm my xmas list
////what do u want 4 xmas?
///worried about getting 2 many iTunes gift cards from relatives who don’t ‘get’ me

Previous Lil Alt Coverage
I am the littlest alt
Should I buy a lil alt?
Lil Alt beer holder
Lil Alt human accessory
The First Lil Alt

I am the lil alt. The mini alt. The lil-est alt.
Learned how to be alt at a young age
with the help of my older sister
I am young, with my entire life ahead of me
many years to evolve into the perfect personal brand
but today I am young
I am alt
I am small
but my heart is strong
I am sure of myself

The kids at school do not ‘get’ me
But I have learned that is a good thing
I am oblivious to the tween sensations that mnstrm kidz are in2
(had to google ‘Kanyegate’)
I am literally the youngest person in the world to genuinely appreciate The Dirty Projectors

I will start a mp3 blog 4 kids by kids
carrying the alternative torch to make the kids scene
a lot better 4 every1
There’s just so much more to the world than Disney bullshit

I am proud.

One day I will be an old man
on my death bed
looking back on the life that I had
so many missed connections and casual encounters
I will look back on my youth
and smile

A large grin for my alternative innerchild.
I am the lil alt
The embodiment of the alternative spirit.

(miss u. say hi 2 Heath 4 me in meme heaven)

U cannot put out
the flame
of the alternative fire
in a tru alt.

So much alt in such a lil alt.

///learning how 2 blog again….
-crls

LilAlts are more customizable than AZNs. I was actually thinking of starting a Human Trade shop in my local mall where people can purchase lil Alts (and a few high-end AZNs), and select outfits + accessories for them. (kinda like popular franchise BUILD A BEAR)

What makes having a human accessory fun isn’t the fact that they ‘help u with chores’ that much. It’s kinda more like having a tamagachi. When it ‘cries’ u have to feed it a lil bit. and sometimes u can play with it. but if it dies, u can just press the ‘reset’ button or get a new 1. The fun part is just ‘making it ur own’ and it doesn’t require the responsibilities of having a child of ur own.

What type of lilAlt do yall think yall will buy?
(Thinking about adopting a pokemone from a 3rd world country.)

What.Would.Jesus.Do?
Is there a different kind of human that u are thinking about purchasing in 2k9, or is ‘the economy’ holding u back from making the $100-$200 investment?

This is a post about how I h8 lil kids who have 2 much personality. Lil Douchebag Kids usually have wealthy parents. There is a father who makes a lot of money, and a mom who ‘loves their kid to death.’ This means they get to eat an unhealthy breakfast. Typically, male lil dbag kids have long hair and a ‘California skater aesthetic.’ These kids usually don’t do well in school and (pretend to) have learning disabilities. However, these ‘learning disabilities’ are usually justified as ‘having an active personality.’ Teachers expect less from lil dbag kids because they know they will never have to worry about anything in life.

My son has an active personality. I let him grow his hair out, because he is different. He is beyond his years.

I just want my daughter 2 have 0 worries. I only want her 2 express herself + start dating at age 7. She will go through an alternative phase, but I am confident that she will end up mainstream by age 19.

I wish I could go back in time and convince my parents to ‘let me show the world who I was’ at a young age. I want to go back in time so that I could tell my parents about online boutiques for kidz so that I could have a more unique personal brand as a kid.

I want to be a lilBagBro. I don’t want to be ‘good at school.’ I want to be good at being funny/expressive/being ‘a breath of fresh air.’

I want to let people know that I might be from California, and that I might be a participant in Xtreme Sports. People need to know that I have an xtreme personality. I want to dress and smell like I am going to my first high school dance every day of the week. I want to merge ‘cool’ and ‘post-casual’ fashion. I want hair product.

I want 2 be a lil girl. I want to connect with my depressed mother [via shopping therapy]. I want to wear prints that single, saucy 32 year old women wear on ‘girls nite out’s + to their job as a receptionist.

“We have trouble concentrating in class. We do impressions of popular movies/television shows. Our parents don’t let us drink soda/let us drink a lot of soda. We are ‘hyperactive’ and have a low reading level.”

‘We have a glorified hobby which our parents have branded us as ‘being good at.’ We pursue this hobby our whole lives’, but end up not being very gifted at all. Our whole world will then fall apart, and we will attend college for 2 semesters at a local school. We will drop out and live in an apartment complex within 5 miles of our parents’ house. We will drink cheep beer and post myspace photos. We will shop at the mall. We will be independent.’
-lil dbag kidz in the future

Should we do more to ban ‘personality’ in public elementary schools?
Are ‘kidz with 2 much personality’ growing up with an unhealthy perception of ‘the world’ + ‘his or her own place in the world’?
Is adolescence a false extension of childhood?
Should I build a time machine to see how my life would have worked out if I had a stronger personal brand when I popped out of my mother’s womb?

I was pumped to see my fave band EL GUINCHO, but he cancelled. Fortunately, Pitchfork was deep enough to put Animal Collective as a headliner/a meaningful night time slot. The performance changed my life. I don’t even enjoy traditional music in traditional formats any more–I will only go to Animal Collective live shows for the rest of my life.

N e ways…my too-free-spirited mom fell in luv with this alt-celeb musician/party photog. I ended up holding her Bud Heavie all day. Eww !!!!!#&%!!!$!

I wish my mom wasn’t so free spirited. What will my future be like?

Will I rebel against my mom’s free spirited ways and become a mainstreamer? Or will I abuse her free-spiritedness to become my high school’s alt-est, free spirited-est girl whose mom lets her drink box wine at sleepovers if her friends ‘turn in their keys & promise not 2 leave the house’?

[only connect on FLICKR]

I was pumped to see my fave band EL GUINCHO, but he cancelled. Fortunately, Pitchfork was deep enough to put Animal Collective as a headliner/a meaningful night time slot. The performance changed my life. I don’t even enjoy traditional music in traditional formats any more–I will only go to Animal Collective live shows for the rest of my life.

N e ways…my too-free-spirited mom fell in luv with this alt-celeb musician/party photog. I ended up holding her Bud Heavie all day. Eww !!!!!#&%!!!$!

I wish my mom wasn’t so free spirited. What will my future be like?

Will I rebel against my mom’s free spirited ways and become a mainstreamer? Or will I abuse her free-spiritedness to become my high school’s alt-est, free spirited-est girl whose mom lets her drink box wine at sleepovers if her friends ‘turn in their keys & promise not 2 leave the house’?

[only connect on FLICKR]

With that being said, it’s important to note that our global gas crunch has ruined things for this lil alt human accessory. As opposed to being driven to her Summer Enrichment Courses in a minivan with a DVD player, or a spacious Toyota Camry, she was forced to be chauffeured by her mom on a skateboard. You can see a bandage on her left leg which we can only assume was caused by an accident on the cobblestone roads of the netherworld in which she lives.

I think it is good for free-spirited mothers to express themselves, but I don’t now how I feel about converting urself into a rickshaw to transport your kid.

Have yall ever been poor? Remember when Jewel lived in a van?

[Photo by The Face Huntbro]

I have a dream that one day every kid will have parents who are able to afford vintage conversion vans.

Since they wear urban wear/street gear 2gether, is it safe to assume that they listen to Will Smith’s “Just the 2 Of Us” on repeat?

I can’t wait to have kids and dress them up in American Appy/Babie Urban Outfitters. Hopefully they make mini- prescription shutter shades so my lil alt kid can wear them to school. My biggest fear is my child not being able to see the ‘chalk board’ at the front of the classroom. I hope he doesn’t develop A.D.D. and spend the rest of his life on a quest for alt-celeb status.

[Photo by Preggers goldfish]

Sometimes family portraits can get creepie. They can end up looking kind of like a cult. Especially if it is a white American family.

This family looks like they eliminate all of their female offspring until the stars align for a specified ‘breeding season.’

She is so free-spirited that she has inspired a creepie passer-by to envision his life with a free-spirited mom who had a little boy who wore bandanas.

“Men who are strong enough to accept that a woman loves her son more than she will ever love him are the strongest men in the world.’
-Stepdads who wear Stepdad jeans

The worst part about having a free spirited mom is that sometimes they will forget to buy you food, school supplies, and clothes because they spend a lot of money thrifting and drinking box wine.

[Dublin Streets]

Photo by HEL LOOKS:

Jermu (3)
“I’m wearing an eagle t-shirt and flower socks. My cap is yellow and there is some net at the back. I like red, cars and legos.”

I rlly wish I could rent him as a human accessory for a night. <33
********

I wonder if he is wearing urban camos because he is a soldier in some sort of Alternative Neon Electro Civil War in a war-torn 3rd World Country.
<3 neon blood diamonds <3
[photo by Manila Style]

Cool Dads and Free Spirited Moms make Lil Alts.
MAKE LIL ALTS, NOT WAR.

“If only we could all be bright… like neon love.”
-the Prime Minister of Australia, 2009