[MP3]
Yacht Psychic City

Analysis: I feel 40% ‘more willing’ to listen to Yacht since they signed with DFA. I think this song is possibly better/worse than I think it is, and might be the type of song that ‘defines a summer’ in an accidental way because it was relatively inoffensive, seemed kinda fun, and it lends itself to placement on multiple mixCDs/playlists.

Yacht’s brand is ‘about to be very strong’ since they will be grandfathered into ‘fun music that is dancey that P4k honors as being authentic.’ Sort of wish I had been into them 2 years ago, and accidentally went to one of their shows on a school night, had fun, and totally ‘got’ them even though most people didn’t. They seem pretty ‘artist-y.’

Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/yacht

********************

[MP3]
Memory Tapes Last One Awake (Friend Version)
Analysis: I think that Memory Tapes is the next ‘conceptual-ish’ band to ‘really look out for’ in terms of blowing up a hype bubble. I think that if they put together 30-45 minutes of ’solid music’ in an LP, they will probably become one of the most ‘listenable’ products of 2k10-2k15. Sort of like AnCo pre-MPP, back when you could just ‘chill’ and listen to them. FEel like I would ‘actually’ describe them as ‘a band that would open for AnCo, except they are actually good.’ MemCassy is more ‘electro’ and possibly has ‘more pop sensibilities’ than most modern ‘conceptual bullshit music.’

Buy the new Memory Cassette EP
http://acephalerecords.com/memcass/

Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/memorytapes

**********************

[MP3]
Lil Wayne Kobe Bryant

Analysis: This is a song by Lil Wayne about NBA player, Kobe Bryant, who will begin his pursuit of his first NBA championship without the help of Shaq “OMG he has a sillie Twitter” O’Neal. In the song, Lil Wayne honors Kobe by talking about ‘how great’ he is. I am not sure how I feel about Kobe Bryant. He has always been a bad teammate, and he also ‘forced himself’ upon some white girl in Colorado. He seems like ‘a huge fraud’, but not sure if he is actually ‘lying’ because I don’t think he really has a ‘true self.’

I don’t know how I feel about the current generation of NBA stars. I feel like it is ‘kinda forced.’ I feel angry that I have to ’suck LeBron James’s dick’ even though he has never won an NBA championship. I don’t really like how every1 is ‘trying to act like Michael Jordan’ or something.

Not sure if Kobe will win it all. Wonder if the Magic are gonna ‘win it all.’ Feel like Lakers fans are ‘ass holes.’ Can’t believe LeBron is going to leave Cleveland.

N e ways, think that the Kobe Bryant song is ’stupid.’ Feel like Kobe Bryant isn’t even ‘a real person’ he is just sort of ‘pretending to be real’ based on how great NBA players have acted before him. I think he grew up in Europe, so he wasn’t even an American kid. I think if Kobe Bryant could be white, he probably would be. I think that this song is some sort of representation of ‘how stupid people’ interpret sports, and sensationalize ‘greatness.’

Who do yall think will win the NBA Championship?
Is LeBron James an ‘asshole’ 4 having a CHOSEN1 tatty on his back?

seems like he is ‘out of touch with reality’ or something. feel like he seriously might believe he is ‘god’/'jesus’

Question 2) M.I.A. is

a) just a meme
b) pregant
c) should have stayed home
d) trying too hard 2 reach out 2 mainstream audiences
e) just taking care of herself/her career

Question 3: Deadmau5 will be remembered as

a) a zany masked DJ
b) just some weirdo at the Grammys
c) “what is that bro doing at our show?” -Taylor Swift
d) being responsible for bringing ‘masked djs’ to the mainstream
e) just a meme on the day after award shows

Question 4: This is a picture of

a) the coldplays
b) a band that steals songs
c) the writers of the rock album + song of the year
d) bros who need to retire their gimmick
e) Cool dads searching for meaning

Question 5: These bros are chilling at

a) the Grammys
b) A Cool Dad convention
c) A Kidz Health convention
d) A McDonalds playgrond
e) A liberal arts professor conference

Question 6: When I see this single, I think it is

a) Just another bloghouse mp3
b) just another crappy mp3 posted by a lame entrylevel blog on the hypemachine looking to get hits
c) worth a Grammy
d) the best Remix of all time
e) other

Question 7: Kanye West won a grammy for

a) Best frollet
b) Best blogger of the year
c) Worst black person of the year in America
d) JackOfAllTrades/Renaissance Man of the year
e) Best guy who sounds like a robot on his albums

Question 8: Who wore it better?

a) the broad on the left
b) the broad on the right
(this is a test 2 see if ur a racist)

Question 9: The Lonely Island Bros are

a) going to win a Grammy in 2k10
b) a gimmick for bros
c) comedy for bros
d) glorified bro Weird Al bullshit
e) really funnie
f) really progressive
g) going to make the Flight of the Conchords obsolete for bros
h) something for people who smoke weed and watch dvds/ funnie youtube vids

Question 10: This bro won a Grammy for

a) best assault of a broad
b) best knuckle sandwich 2 a broad’s face
c) Best job of ‘putting a woman in her place’
d) Most likely 2 be the next OJ Simpson
e) Future Ike TurnerBro
f) Strongest Pimp Hand
g) Artist of the Millennium who Hits Women
h) Bro Who is above the law
i) bro who is above society’s norms

Question 11: Daft Punk won some Grammy because

a) they deserve it for this live album thingy
b) there are too many Awards categories
c) people only heard of them after Kanye West cobranded with them for that meaningful duet about becoming stronger on the inside

Question 12: Christian Bale won a grammy for

a) being Heath Ledger’s BFF
b) being in Batman
c) becoming a viral meme on audio
d) pretending ‘to get angry’ as a marketing gimmick for the new Terminator film so that Entertainment Magazines will profile him as being ‘complex’ and ‘deep’ and ‘really into his craft’
e) he sang a lot in Newsies

Question 13: The name of this band is

a) 3 Tweens and a Blind Black Man
b) Blind, Black, and Musical: The Band
c) Searching for Our Sexuality thru the blindness
d) Bro Circle Jerk in a room with a blindman
e) Guy Who Should be able to see + need Talent Managers who protect their brands a lil bit better
f) The Grammys: Where Legends go to Make Bad Decisions
g) Steve WonderBro
h) Tweens Who Might be GheyBros

Question 14: This band in this picture is

a) the Spice Girls
b) Paramore
c) Blink 182
d) Girls Aloud
e) The Pussy Cat Dolls
f) Aqua
g) Jen Aniston and the Skanky McSkankBroads
h) Chris Brown’s “Pimp Hand”

Can’t believe I missed the Grammys. Feel really ‘out of the loop.’ Just want to connect 2 ‘pop culture’ since it is kind of the fabric of society that relates us all.

Kinda feel like this picture represents the state of modern music.
In this picture is everything that we want.
We want bloggable content with stars who attract viewers by saying zany things and being progressive enough to blurb about.

Did yall hear M.I.A. is pregnant?
Are yall excited about how twitter gives u such direct and instant access 2 ur fave celebs while they are at a meaningful event like the Grammys?

[via diplo's drunken memes during the Grammys blogspottwitter]

Fortunately, NME compiled a list of bands that have kept America c00l.

According to NME, these r 25 bands that r ‘making America cool again.’ I think they got some of them wrong.

HRO [EXCLUSIVE] BREAKDOWN
1 Vampire Weekend - is it Alt to hate them? or is it alt-er to transcend ‘hating them’? or is it alt-est to pretend you don’t really know who they are?
2 Lil Wayne - filling the quarterly demand for a rapper that it is [highly regarded] as being historically significant by white people who like to pretend that pop-rap is an important reflection on the social evolution of African Americans that they feel tolerant about ‘identifying with’
3 Glass Candy - a band making your electroblog authentic again/ 1 band with the #1 MILF in alt music
4 Kings Of Leon - I have heard 1.5 of their songs. They will probably be around forever and I will never give them a chance.
5 MGMT – Please direct your attention to this post about why uninteresting people think they are supposed to like MGMT.
6 Spank Rock - 1 post-post-ironic sex-core think-piece rapper. If I were a black person, I would h8 him for ‘making fun of us and thinking he is s00 smart/artsy.’
7 TV On The Radio - I think they would choose to be from another country if they had the opportunity, since it would make them ‘more authentic.’

8 Boy Crisis – with a name like that, they are probably going after the market of people who like to say ‘GIRL TALK’. But SRSLY…who is that?
9 Black Kids – 1 band that I will never learn the difference between them + The Cool Kids
10 Holy Ghost Revival -Is this HOLY GHOST! or some different band?
11 The Hold Steady - for some reason I think this band is from the emo-era of 2k0
12 Fleet Foxes - Am I not a good American if I haven’t bothered to look into finding a way to appreciate them? Does n e 1 know if they are meaningful? Or are they one of those post-2k8 semi-meaningful-authentic bands that probably should have come around in 2005 so they wouldn’t be cannibalized by blogs. (Being cannibalized by bl0gs only works for electro-ish artists, but they aren’t expecting to get paid.)
13 Amazing Baby - Have they been blggd abt? They might as well be a local band that I ignore.
14 Jay Reatard - He has an interesting name, but otherwise, I shouldn’t know who he is. Does n e 1 know if he is retarded IRL? Is that his stage gimmick?
15 HEALTH - I wonder what these concept bros are up to. Is there a HEALTH backlash after 2 many remixes?
16 The Cool Kids - 1 band that I will never learn the difference between them + The Black Kids
17 Black Lips - Do they sing the song about Hurricane Katrina? Are they one of those bands like NO AGE that sux, but ‘people appreciate them’?
18 Yo Majesty – With that kind of name, they are either an overweight black rapper, or a UK ‘highly regarded’ retro-ish band
19 White Denim - another band that high-end alts acclimate themselves to since GVB enjoys them. I <3 the power of the gorillvsbear. It’s cool because I have been GVBed, therefore, I am significant.
20 Telepathe - Sounds like they are from France.
21 Iglu & Hartly - Huh? They must have gone to high school with the magazine editor.
22 Chester French -Who?
23 Girl Talk – I wonder if he’d be bigger if he was from France/Japan? Based on the fact that he is on this list, it means that he is America’s #1 DJ. R u comfortable with that? I’d rather have him representing us in the DJ Olympics instead of some guido/eurotrash d-bag playing tacky thump-house music.
24 The Death Set – they probably have a ghey logo/ gheyer fans
25 Grace Jones - Is that the woman who looks like she is made out of plastic/used to be a mummy?

If NME really wanted to help rebuild America’s image, they should have written an article that declared ‘all other countries bl0w/r full of inauthentic ‘fggts’.’

I don’t even believe in ‘countries’ any more, yall. Borders = s0 2k7. I feel like we’re all just citizens of Blogville in the United States of the Alt-Internet. It doesn’t matter where n e 1 is even from… I just want a free mp3 and I want to see ‘the next big band’ more than 6 months before they are ‘big.’

America is fine. We just need to find a way to make sure that ________ ends up as the President. I heard he is going to lower the legal ______ age for entry level alts/lil alts. He will also pass an electro-tax that is meant to give money to myspace bands. They are also in talks to distribute a copy of Ableton Live to every single child in a public school.

If NME wants to help America get a better image, they need to start at the ground level. They need to get kids portable hypemachine players to replace their iPods/satellite radios. Our generation is lost. We just need to work for the future, and focus on alt-lectro education. That’s the only way to win THE WAR ON lofi/garage/cockrock/fggtcore/meaningfulcore/underwhelming-indie TERROR.

‘The only way to save our world is to Americanize it. Especially the brown-ish countries that believe in 2ManyGods.’
-HIPSTER RUNOFFS

Fortunately, NME compiled a list of bands that have kept America c00l.

According to NME, these r 25 bands that r ‘making America cool again.’ I think they got some of them wrong.

HRO [EXCLUSIVE] BREAKDOWN
1 Vampire Weekend - is it Alt to hate them? or is it alt-er to transcend ‘hating them’? or is it alt-est to pretend you don’t really know who they are?
2 Lil Wayne - filling the quarterly demand for a rapper that it is [highly regarded] as being historically significant by white people who like to pretend that pop-rap is an important reflection on the social evolution of African Americans that they feel tolerant about ‘identifying with’
3 Glass Candy - a band making your electroblog authentic again/ 1 band with the #1 MILF in alt music
4 Kings Of Leon - I have heard 1.5 of their songs. They will probably be around forever and I will never give them a chance.
5 MGMT – Please direct your attention to this post about why uninteresting people think they are supposed to like MGMT.
6 Spank Rock - 1 post-post-ironic sex-core think-piece rapper. If I were a black person, I would h8 him for ‘making fun of us and thinking he is s00 smart/artsy.’
7 TV On The Radio - I think they would choose to be from another country if they had the opportunity, since it would make them ‘more authentic.’

8 Boy Crisis – with a name like that, they are probably going after the market of people who like to say ‘GIRL TALK’. But SRSLY…who is that?
9 Black Kids – 1 band that I will never learn the difference between them + The Cool Kids
10 Holy Ghost Revival -Is this HOLY GHOST! or some different band?
11 The Hold Steady - for some reason I think this band is from the emo-era of 2k0
12 Fleet Foxes - Am I not a good American if I haven’t bothered to look into finding a way to appreciate them? Does n e 1 know if they are meaningful? Or are they one of those post-2k8 semi-meaningful-authentic bands that probably should have come around in 2005 so they wouldn’t be cannibalized by blogs. (Being cannibalized by bl0gs only works for electro-ish artists, but they aren’t expecting to get paid.)
13 Amazing Baby - Have they been blggd abt? They might as well be a local band that I ignore.
14 Jay Reatard - He has an interesting name, but otherwise, I shouldn’t know who he is. Does n e 1 know if he is retarded IRL? Is that his stage gimmick?
15 HEALTH - I wonder what these concept bros are up to. Is there a HEALTH backlash after 2 many remixes?
16 The Cool Kids - 1 band that I will never learn the difference between them + The Black Kids
17 Black Lips - Do they sing the song about Hurricane Katrina? Are they one of those bands like NO AGE that sux, but ‘people appreciate them’?
18 Yo Majesty – With that kind of name, they are either an overweight black rapper, or a UK ‘highly regarded’ retro-ish band
19 White Denim - another band that high-end alts acclimate themselves to since GVB enjoys them. I <3 the power of the gorillvsbear. It’s cool because I have been GVBed, therefore, I am significant.
20 Telepathe - Sounds like they are from France.
21 Iglu & Hartly - Huh? They must have gone to high school with the magazine editor.
22 Chester French -Who?
23 Girl Talk – I wonder if he’d be bigger if he was from France/Japan? Based on the fact that he is on this list, it means that he is America’s #1 DJ. R u comfortable with that? I’d rather have him representing us in the DJ Olympics instead of some guido/eurotrash d-bag playing tacky thump-house music.
24 The Death Set – they probably have a ghey logo/ gheyer fans
25 Grace Jones - Is that the woman who looks like she is made out of plastic/used to be a mummy?

If NME really wanted to help rebuild America’s image, they should have written an article that declared ‘all other countries bl0w/r full of inauthentic ‘fggts’.’

I don’t even believe in ‘countries’ any more, yall. Borders = s0 2k7. I feel like we’re all just citizens of Blogville in the United States of the Alt-Internet. It doesn’t matter where n e 1 is even from… I just want a free mp3 and I want to see ‘the next big band’ more than 6 months before they are ‘big.’

America is fine. We just need to find a way to make sure that ________ ends up as the President. I heard he is going to lower the legal ______ age for entry level alts/lil alts. He will also pass an electro-tax that is meant to give money to myspace bands. They are also in talks to distribute a copy of Ableton Live to every single child in a public school.

If NME wants to help America get a better image, they need to start at the ground level. They need to get kids portable hypemachine players to replace their iPods/satellite radios. Our generation is lost. We just need to work for the future, and focus on alt-lectro education. That’s the only way to win THE WAR ON lofi/garage/cockrock/fggtcore/meaningfulcore/underwhelming-indie TERROR.

‘The only way to save our world is to Americanize it. Especially the brown-ish countries that believe in 2ManyGods.’
-HIPSTER RUNOFFS

I thought only krazie black people had face tats.

R.I.P. Mike Tyson (1960-2008)

I thought only krazie black people had face tats.

R.I.P. Mike Tyson (1960-2008)