Recently, my parents purchased a Dodge Dakota Sport (extended cab).
I am embarrassed, even though the car was very economical, and made tons of sense for our four-person nuclear family. I make my parents drop me off a block away from school, just in case people 'judge me' based on the car that my parents' drive. It just doesn't make sense that some1 with my personal brand would come from the 'mediocrity' that my parents' car seems to represent. I wish I could have been 'consulted' a little bit more when they were making their decision. Feel like my needs are also important, and are usually 'neglected' due to budget constraints. Ugh. Wish my parents had jobs that paid more and meant that they'd travel a lot.
Just afraid that I will look 'too middle class' if people see me getting chauffeured around the city in that 'normal person' car. Wish they had something sportier, or possibly a car that made our family seem 'richer' than we actually are. I feel like it is important for other people to have an appearance of your life being 'a process of getting whatever you want', even though everything is a struggle at my house.
Also feel 'incredibly generic' since my mom wants to give me her boring Camry as my first car. Seriously would rather fucking 'walk every where.'
I just want my 'colleagues' to believe that I am some1 incredibly interesting, who comes from a set of cool parents. Sorta wish ppl thought I got to school by subway, even though our suburban area is miles away from any public transportation system that has been branded as 'authentic.' We only have buses, and they are mainly ridden by the poors and coloureds.
Just wish my parents 'at least' had a Volvo/Volkswagen/Prius. Possibly some sort of ambiguous SUV. Tired of looking 'too middle class.' Might get a job next summer to buy a ______.
Don't want my parents to come across as people who are just 'struggling 2 make a living.'
Yall know what I mean, rite?
Are yall embarrassed of yalls parents, and do u wish they understood the importance of personal branding [via consumer decisions]?
R ur parents rich or middle class or poor?
What type of car did they drive?
'What was ur first car?' -people from the 50s/60s/70s
We went on a family vacay when I was 10
to chill in the Grand Canyon and New Mexico
We stopped at a gift shop on an 'Injun' Reservation
and my parents encouraged me to buy 'a bag of kewl looking rocks'
and a gadget called 'a dream catcher.'
I asked the old Indian man behind the counter
'What does this gizmo do?'
He said, 'Hang this above your bed.
It shall capture all of the bad dreams + nightmares
and only let the chill-ass dreams in2 ur head
while u sleep."
I thought this was 'fucking stupid'
but my parents bought it anyways so that I would
have something to always remember our vacation.
I didn't touch the dreamcatcher for years, but then
when I was going through a zany fashion era,
I decided 2 use it as a necklace
but part of me really started to believe that
this Indian gadget was really working.
My dreams were coming true
Was about to start school at a relevant design program in the city
Attending tons of cool shows
Hooking up with hi level members of the local scene
Reading tons of cool blogs every day
Finally feeling like my wardrobe was 'complete'
Music was 'free' on the internet [via google search]
Everything just felt 'right.'
If I just wore this dreamcatcher for the rest of my life,
none of my nightmares would manifest themselves.
I wouldn't end up a mainstreamer in a desk job
I wouldn't have a husband+kids who I resent
I wouldn't gain weight + look old.
I would never die
The dreamcatcher had become a part of me
It protected me
It was more than just a zany accessory
It gave me hope, and it made me believe I could do anything.
The dreamcatcher kept me safe.
Don't be afraid to dream.
There's nothing wrong with 'being a dreamer.'
Do u have a dreamcatcher necklace?
My parents kicked me out of the house. I lived in a drug dealer's apartment for several weeks, until he expected me to pay him rent with sexual favors. I found a cozy nook underneath the Main Street bridge. Every night, I curl up on a piece of cardboard, and find myself doing something I haven't done since I became an atheist at 6 years old--I pray. I pray to any one who will listen: God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, Allah, Osama Bin Laden, Barry Obama. I pray hard.
One morning I came downstairs expecting to pour myself a bowl of Cinnamon Toast crunch and eat it on the couch while watching reruns of Project Runway and The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Both of my parents were waiting at the table for me. They had my pipe on the table, as well as 1 gram of dank, a lil bump of coke, a stack of pornographic DVDs, and a poster board of LSD. They said "What is this?"
I replied, "I'm sorry. I'm going through an experimental phase."
Mom: "Experiment my ass!"
Me: "It's not like you never did any experimenting during ur youth."
Dad: "We don't want you to make the same mistakes that we did."
Mom: "Your dad is right."
Me: "I don't even know why you're confronting me about this when u have problems of your own."
Mom: "I don't know what you're talking about. Your dad and I are doing well."
Me: "You know dad cheated on you with that waitress from Chili's. I can hear through the walls at night."
Dad: "That's enough!"
(mom starts sobbing uncontrollably, leaves the room...silence for 5 minutes)
Me: Well... are you done? I'm going to eat some CTC (cinna toast crunch).
Dad: Listen to me you little shit. I brought you into this world with my semen, and I can take you the fuck out. If you want to live under this roof, you need to get your shit together, and respect me.
Me: Why did you cheat on mom?
Dad: I didn't cheat on your mother....we're not getting into this. I left a cup that I need you to fill up with pee. Please go do that soon.
Me: Why do you need to drug test me if you know I am already on drugs?
Dad: Once again, this is about respect.
Me: I don't respect you.
Dad: Get the fuck out of my house.
Me: FINE.
I went to my room and put all of my favourite clothes into a bag. I had $60 to my name. I put my Macbook into my computer bag, and left the house through the backdoor. Eventually I found out that there are no wireless networks under bridges, and the ones that do show up require a password.
Every day I go to a local coffee shop to look for jobs, and stay relevant by reading alt websites. However, I am feeling like maybe 'being alt' doesn't even matter. Maybe now that I am on my own, I won't care about social subcultures any more. I just want to be able to feed myself every day. I'm never going back home again. Not to that fucked up family.
I think I'll make it on my own. Maybe I can get a job at Am Appy, and save up enough money to buy an efficiency. I think I'll make it. They say that the hard times are what really make u "you." Sorta like what Steve Carrell told Paul Dano in "Little Miss Sunshine" [via Proust]. These are hard times, but I think I'll get through them and my life will be more meaningful.
I remember in the popular movie Forrest Gump,
Tom Hanks and Jenny say 'make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away'
as Jenny tries to escape from her father's physical and sexual abuse
Eventually she 'becomes a slut' when she grows up
and in a way she sort of became a bird
and flew far, far away from 'innocence' [via dying of AIDS]
Sometimes I feel like there's just 2 much happening in this world
Like I am overwhelmed by every little thing
piling on top of itself
So much stress, so much 2 worry abt
Just want to be a lite lil alt
and float away while holding some balloons
and have the balloons represent some sort of 'guiding force'
or maybe something that helps me 2 'escape'
sort of like drugs
or possibly a scholarship to a regional Art Institute
I remember Modest Mouse wrote a song
that promise us that we'll 'all float on'
and it was the most meaningful indie song of the year
inspiring mainstreamers every where 2 'chill'
Sort of just want to float on...
want to float away from suburbia
and land in an urban environment
want to float away from my parents
and land in an apartment that is $1500/month
want to float away from my job at a local ice cream parlor
and start a career where I have opinions on cool/modern/relevant shit
I know that I can escape from the status quo of my life
but I do not want 2 work hard 2 get there
Even though I feel like I am entitled to a better life
I wish it would just fall in my lap
Wish life could be easier
Wish life could be chiller
Wish my life could be everything that I think I deserve
Make me a lil entry-level alt girl
so I can fly
far, far away.
All we are
are alts in the wind...
I am just trying to create an authentic life for myself.
I am just trying to fill up my apartment with meaningful items.
I am just trying to create authentic art.
I am just collecting some cameras from different eras.
I am just enjoying a beer, relaxing.
I am just collecting old magazines with pictures of nature/old stuff
I am just mashing up genres of music.
I am just sitting on my authentic couch.
I am just going buy some used books later that look 'old' and 'historically relevant'.
I am just going to buy some humble shoes.
I am just 1 bro
I am just 1 bro searching for meaning
I am just 1 bro searching for meaning in our modern world.
I am just 1 bro creating art in my meaningful space
looking to transcend
evrythng
Previous meaningful/authentic apartments
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/my-authentic-life-is-full-of-authentic-props-in-my-authentic-apartment.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/the-meaningful-objects-in-my-apartment-make-me-who-i-am.html
Have yall bought anything new for your apartment lately?
Have yall created any new/relevant music lately using nontraditional/lofi/D.I.Y. recording methods?
We went 4 a walk
running away from my parents' house
went to a manmade lake/drainage solution
that was constructed in the middle of the neighborhood.
We stripped nude
and took a bath within nature
putting on an Animal Collective album
using my portable iPod dock
The police were called
arresting us
police brutality
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.
Fuck. So miserable.
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.
h8 my local high school
h8 all the ppl who value 'fitting in'
and don't 'get' what life is all about
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.
Shit. Not even sure if I will ever break free
or if I will end up back in suburbia
since it is a cost-effective place to raise a child.
Shit. FUCK. help me, gawdbro.
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.
So many houses
all looking the same
feel even sadder about poorer people who live in apartments
relieved that I have a spacious house
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.
I wear Am Appy
and no 1 'gets' me
except for gothbros
who wear 'black AmAppy hoodies' without realizing what the brand 'means.'
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.
I want 2
set this place on fire
I want 2
b me
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.
fuck. help me. plz. help me.
sprawl. opening up new Home Depot by where I live
since there are so many new neighborhoods [via contractors]
feeling sad about trees being cut down and shit like that
Wonder how I would feel if the built suburbia to look 'more like the city.'
Going to walk more and ride my bike.
help
Sometimes ur hornie, but there's no1 else around 2 'get u off.' I feel happie that some1 invented 'masturbation.' Imagine if there was no way 2 pleasure urself? Feel like there would be a lot of lonely people out there. I think guys just have to 'tug off' and 'watch some slut getting fucked' on the internet.
Does n e 1 know how girls 'get off'?
From what I have heard, when a girl wants 2 cum by herself, she just has to sit on top of a washing machine/dryer?
Not even really sure how vaginas work. I think there is 1 part that ur 'supposed 2 rub' and then another part 'deep inside.'
Feel anxious about losing my virginity. Worried that my parents will find out and think that I'm 'a slut'/'hornie piece of shit'. I just wish that they'd realize that I'm young and in love.
Happie that I know about 'condoms' and 'alternate methods of contraception.' I srsly feel like my life would be over if I got a girl preggers.
Sort of wish my middle school had Sex Ed/taught evolution. Think that I wouldn't be so 'naive' if I knew more about the world.
Is n e 1 gonna wait 2 have sex until ur married?
What do u do when ur hornie? Do yall like sexting?
This is a post about exploring ur sexualitie, kinda like the movie EYES WIDE SHUT.
Today I watched an MGMT music video
and listened to Animal Collective
and also listend 2 Passhy Pit
then cut up my favourite Am Appy shirt
and put some paint on my face
Went outside
all of my neighbors looked at me like I was from another planet
even though they usually give me that look
it made me happie
that I was challenging social norms
and saying 'eff yall' 2 them.
I was the most free spirited person
within a 100 mile radius
My mom and dad looked out the window
and looked disappointed
If only they knew
what I wanted 2 do
and the ideas inside of me
which can be converted to art
and be sold 4 a great deal of money
If only they knew
that I am not going to work for an insurance company
in a business park
in a yucky part of town in some cheesy city.
I am trapped in suburbia
1 day
I will get out of this hell hole.
1 day...
I am the next Marc Jacobs/ Jermbro Scott / winner from Projjers Runway.
What's ur anti-suburbia [via anti-drug]?
Previous feelings of being trapped in suburbia
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/trapped-in-suburbia-bro
Carles was browsing the internet, and saw a picture of a kute girl who looks exactly like this 1 famous kute girl. Carles asks the HRO reader who the normal person looks like in order to build a 'sense of community.'
Who does she look like, yall?
Hints:
Soo angry that I can't quite put my finger on who she looks like. Can yall think of who she loox like?
A SHORT BLOG STORY BY CRLS
I had spent all summer convincing my parents that I didn't need to go to college--I needed a year off to figure out who I am, and what I REALLY need and want to do. It was a bold decision that only risk takers like me would make. I'd be better off if I had the opportunity to find myself by living in the city for a while. Even if I just had a shitty job, or eventually got an internship with a web magazine, I know the experience would be the best way to spend my time.
I told them that I had a job lined up in the city that started a month after I moved there. But I needed them to front the deposit and the first 2 months rent, so that I could 'get my feet wet.' The apartment was amazing. Stainless steel appliances. High ceilings. Flat screen TV from the game room at my parents' house. Stolen wifi from a neighbor. There was even a bodega at the corner that didn't card.
Needless to say, those first 2 months were the best 2 months of my life. I went to so many shows, art openings, flashmobs, and had a great time. I tried new drugs, and did stuff that I thought I was supposed to do to symbolize 'growth' and 'being mature.' Every now and then I would scan craiglists for jobs. Sometimes I would send emails to places. I'd get replies sometimes. I went to an interview at a local deli, and went to work for one day. I felt like it wasn't for me, since every one else there was actually a grownup, and I think there was just a generational gap. They were making sandwiches to feed their families', and I was just a kid in the city working this job until something better came along. Part of me hopes that wide-eyed kid never dies.
I lied to my parents and told them I was working for a dot-com. I even bought the dot-com page and built a site that they probably thought looked real. They were proud of me. I had taken a risk that they never would have, and I was doing well and standing on my own two feet.
Month 3 ended. I did not pay rent. I got a notice that I had 2 weeks to pay my shit. I freaked out. Tried to sell drugs but I didn't even know any one in the city yet. I was still just a kid from suburbia trying to figure out what to wear to be taken seriously.
I went on a 5 day bender when I realized I wasn't going to be able to pay. I returned to my apartment at 9 a.m. All of my belongings were outside. Black people and brown people were rummaging through my shit, leaving most of my American Apparel + thrift clothes but taking all of my technological items. Everything that made 'me' was in an alley by a dumpster. Even my IKEA furniture and the HOT/LEAN POCKETS from my freezer. Record player + 80% of record collection was recovered.
I called my parents. Sobbing uncontrollably. I told them the truth. The truth about everything. I should have just gone to the state school. I should have just listened to them. I was a failure. I was a fuckup. Mom and Dad got in their van and made the 7 hour trip to the city. Sometimes I don't know why they even bother with me--but I think they love me for who I am. We went out to dinner at a chain restaurant before making the long drive back home to suburbia.
I moved back in with them. They sold my car, but it didn't matter. I spent that entire next year alone in my house, pretending that I lived in the 'city' on myspace+facebook so that my high school friends would consider me to be cool. Eventually enrolled in community college and got most of my pre-reqs out of the way. I even settled for a girlfriend who didn't 'get' me/what I was all about, but still looked alright and was always down to fuck. Eventually she made me too sad because she non-ironically worked in the Best Buy music and DVD section, considering herself a music+film critic. We broke up.
I miss my life pre-eviction. Back when I honestly believed I could do anything.
I wanted to live in the city so bad. Looking back, it seems like I would have done anything to live in the city. I lied to my parents. I lied to myself. I spent 3 months in the city, and it ended up wasting a year of my life.
I think it was worth it.
These days when I drive to my retail job in suburbia, I think about what I experienced, what I went through, and how I am a strong, brave person. My parents will never trust me again, but I think I have a better idea of who I am and what I want and what human suffering is.
It's kinda weird how trends manage to 'catch on' as quickly as they do. All it really takes is some1 famous 'doing something' that 'sets them apart from the crowd', and the next thing u know, so many teens and tweens are copying the trend.
Take for example the Aretha Franklin big bow Obama Inauguration Hat meme.
It was actually more important than the actual ceremony, and probably more revolutionary than Obama's actual election. She really stole the spotlight from what was supposed to be Obammy's weekend. According 2 the most important bloggers and zany-news-generators, Aretha was the biggest story of the inauggy partie.
The next day, teens across America were looking 4 a way 2 be different. The path towards individuality had been laid out b4 them [via putting a big bow on shit].
Need 2 think about how I can convert my v-neck collection into 'something that makes me look modern.' Might put big bows on my clothing/Macbooks. Maybe just a Crystal Castles logo. Not sure if I actually 'believe' the bro in the picture, and think he might be some sort of performance piece, sort of like 'The Tween Version of Joaquin Phoenix.'
Kinda wish I could invent a fashion that 'went viral', kinda like shuttershades, or maybe even slanties, or maybe even the classic 'slept over at my bf shirt', or maybe even 'being a Jonas Bro'/Creating.Your.Own.Jousteece.Jacket.
Do yall know any trends that I need 2 b on the lookout 4?
Have yall ever 'copied a famous celebrity' 2 seem more like an individual?
Yall, I was tweenhunting on lookbook, and I came across this beautiful young woman with some sort of gadget by her face. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to tell if this is some sort of 'retro gadget' or if it is like a cutting edge new wave gadget. H8 the modern world, and how I can't even stay 'up to date' with new consumer technology blogs.
Is this gadget
a) a vision test machine
b) an iPod shuffle
c) Oakleys with an MP3 player built in
d) a digi camera
e) an iPhone
f) an iPhone shuffle
g) a mixtape player
h) a muxtape player
i) peeping tom binoculars
j) an RSS reader
k) Am Appy X-Ray goggles
l) the new Macbook Lite
m) a smart car
n) Wayfarers
o) shuttershades
p) slanties
q) Wall-E's decapitated head
r) a tamagachi
s) a polaroid camera
t) a lomography camera
u) Choose.Your.Own.Response
??????
Just trying 2 stay modern. Might use a Best Buy Gift Certificate 2 buy 1 of them if it turns out 2 be the 'must-have' item of 2k9.5.
I was browsing through pix of alternative ppl, and came across this 1 bro. He sort of reminded me of some1 famous, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it...Who the hell does he look like, yall?
This lil bro looks like
a) the lead singer of MGMT
b) Corey Feldman in the Goonies
c) Trace Cyrus
d) Julian Casablancas
e) Albie Hammie Jr
f) a guy in a trivial power pop band on MTV
g) Mark McGrath
h) The lead singer of Plain White T's
i) Just another troubled tween
j) Pete Simpson-Wentz
k) Choose.Your.Own.Response
ugh.
frustrated when I see some1 who looks EXACTLY like some1, but i still can't figure out who it is...
Andrew VanWyngarden is the lead singer of the Managements [via MGMT].
Read more>>>>
Sometimes I wonder why the characters from childhood educational shows are such relevant figures in our lives'. Maybe it's bc they represent ideals which parents feel comfortable 'outsourcing' to fictional characters. These creatures have a better chance of conveying these critical themes to us than our parents who are not 'vulns' enough 2 talk 2 us about life/issues. 95% of kids find 'miscellaneous creatures' to be easier to talk to than elders like parents, teachers, or civic/community leaders.
Did yall have any 'muppets' who u identified with because ur 'perception of urself' was a lot like a particular character?
Kermit the Frog is a significant figure from the Jim Henson/Sesame Street/Muppet Collective. He had this song called "It's not EZ Being Green." In the song, he starts out singing about his 'desire to stand out.' He wishes he could have a different skin colour/be a different person on the outside. He feels 'ordinary.' He is sad. He wishes he could be unique. We all just wanna be special, yall.
Then in the second half of the song, Kermit starts to accept the fate/circumstances that God and society have assigned him. While he is kinda 'sad', he realizes he needs to stop focusing on 'the desire to be different' and enjoy his meaningless life. These are messages that our parents wish they were able to communicate to us.
"It's Not Easy Being Green" - A Poem by Kermit the Frog [via Jim Henson]
It's not that easy being green;
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold...
or something much more colorful like that.
It's not easy being green.
It seems you blend in with so many other ord'nary things.
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
or stars in the sky.
But green's the color of Spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain,
or tall like a tree.
When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.
Should I become a DJ/performing artist who tries to spread the same core values that children's shows tried 2 spread?
Was Jim Henson a better artist than Andy Warhol/Shephard Fairey/Leo DaVincBro?
Do u value the 'creativity' of ppl like Jim Henson and Walt Disney, or do u think they were 'just kinda krazie'?
XX BONUS JIM HENSON WORKSHOP MUPPETBRO ANALYSIS XX
Cookie Monster represents ur 'desire for more of stuff that tastes/feels good.' He has no self-control. In his song "C is for Cookie", he accepts that something as simple as a "cookie" is "good enough for me." This is a song about accepting that life might not be THAT meaningful, but maybe u should just be happy about small stuff, and stop trying to search for big lifechanges 2 make u happy.
Do yall think Muppet Collectives are the next Animal Collectives?
Do yall h8 new stuff like Teletubbies/Kid Robot/the Wiggles who trivialize early children's programming?
Should I not let my kid watch TV and only read blogs his whole life?
Do yall ever wish u could 'not be green' [a metaphor powered by Kermit the Frog]?
h8 living in suburbia.
want something more.
want something more.
want something more.
want something more.
want something more.
want something more.
than this life that my parents have forced me into.
Sometimes I feel happy
when I make a good grade in AP English
and I know that I will eventually go to Columbia/NYU/Yale
but it sucks to be here
at a public high school
knowing that all of these ass holes
just want to go to a state university
attend business school
and get married
Wish that high schools had more than just 'honors' courses
because even dumb ppl are in honors courses just to raise their GPA
wish they talked 2 us
and found out about what we wanted 2 do
h8 standardized testing
and how it has limited my educational growth
If only they had some sort of class
that taught us how to blog
and taught us how to screen print on tshirts
and taught us how to start an eCommerce store
and taught us how to crochet
and taught us how to twitter
and taught us how to photoshop
and taught us how to make blog/tumblr layouts
and taught us how to make party fliers
and taught us about everything in between
like human2human interactions
I want to start an online site that isn't a blog
since blogs are dead
but I want the site to be more 'fun' and 'less linear'
and I want my fan base to be authentic
looking for something else out of their online life
But here I am
trapped in suburbia
a teen
Alone in my room
I attempt to make my space as meaningful as possible
this attic
full of records, picture books, and asbestos
The good times are killing me
The bad times are killing me
The asbestos may or may not be killing me
I feel like males dominate Blipsterdom, since it is easy for them to adapt to new styles. However, most girls who are alt and want to be blipster-core have a more difficult time showcasing their personal brand. Fortunately, mainstream hiphop star and multiple Grammy & Oscar award winner, M.I.A. provided a template which they could use to springboard their personal brand.
This is the M.I.Alt. I just hope that females in the Africalt-American community feel more 'empowered' than previous mainstreamers who feel like they have to adapt to hiphop stereotypes. Not every1 has 2 be a 'video girl' doing some sort of dance that showcases ur figure. The blipster aesthetic is generally unisexable, so hope that every1 who wants 2 b 'themselves' can be 'themselves.'
"Blippin Ain't EZ."
-blipsters who are made fun of bc their pants r 2 tight
Have yall ever seen n e MIAlts out in public?
Or are most African American Female Alts trying to look like their white group of AltFriends?
Previous blipster coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/blipsters
XX BONUS CRITTER CRAWLING UP MY BELLY XX
I like keut kritters
and my fave indie label is Paw Tracks
home of Animal Collective, Panda Bear, and Ariel Pink
therefore I created a metaphorical trail
a path worn by a cute lil critter
from my birth hole
up my body
A new life.
And I took the road less traveled by
and that has made all the difference.
M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.
ALT or BRO is a new HRO gimmick where readers must decided if the male person pictured is a BRO or an ALT. While we have seen many AltBros, there is a polarizing presence between true bros and true alts. Altbro is synergy, but there are many bros who are not alts, and many alts who are not bros.
[Photo via lookbook]
Do yall think he is a bro or an alt? Or an 'altbro'? Or a tween interpretation of an altbro?
Please justify yalls answer in order to receive a free mix CD from Carles
For example:
"he is a bro because he has too many muscles and looks like he is an alpha bro in high school."
or
"he is an alt bc he has on a zany hat, and created a lookbook account. He also has a fanny pack."
What do yall think?
Previous HRO Games
[Blipstaz or FGGTs?]
[AltBro or AltBag]
[Image via lookbook]
I saw this picture of a tween posing in front of newspapers, and it kind of reminded me of how obsolete physical copies of newspapers are. Newspapers were created to be recycled. I'm not an environmentalist, but it seems like a big waste of time+paper+people standing at corners selling newspapers and making u feel sad inside that they are only making like $20-50 per day. Sort of wish all newspapers would 'go online' and stop their paper-based operations.
Unfortunately, I don't think that will happen until the 'old folks' die. We are 'the young folks' [via Peter Bjorn and John]. Don't rlly care about 'saving our earth' but just have always thought newspapers were kinda awkward. Like they are big, and u have 2 fold them, and there are no hyperlinks on the page to read about related stories or issues. Also kinda sux cuz newspapers don't come with an 'archives' section. Just kinda want a meaningful experience that can also play videos+audio sometimes.
I went through a phase where I only used the internet to myspace+facebook+steal music. I kinda didn't use it as a tool 2 'stay in touch with the world. Then I kinda grew up and realized that 'the world'+'current events'+'opinions on those current events' are more important than a minifeed of my friends, acquaintances, and bros who sat beside u in Organic Chemistry. Just want to stay relevant and on top of things. Don't want to feel 'left behind' when I talk 2 important ppl.
Do yall know what I mean?
can yall relate 2 this?
Should HRO publish itself to a zany newspaper?
Do yall wish public libraries would be consolidated in2 a series of computers + a laptop kiosk in a public space?
Do yall know if 'the rain forest' is running out of trees?
Do yall ever use the New York Times skimmer 2 pretend that ur 'reading the newspaper' on ur computer?
Is it authentic to read the NYTimes everyday and send ur friends+family 'relevant articles' to connect with them and let them know that ur an interesting person?
Is visiting CNN.com for mainstreamers?
Should I just follow a bunch of relevant newsmakers on twitter, and follow links to news stories?
Just want to create an accurate version of 'the world' according 2 my internet experience.
Might decide 2 only subscribe 2 tastemaking and coolhunting blogs, and not worrie so much about the world. Might also read some 'technology blogs' so I can stay on top of relevant products that I am supposed 2 want. And I think I'll also subscribe 2 a few 'guilty pleasure' celeb gossip blogs. t00tally h8 myself 4 following that--but s0 fun.
This is actually a picture of my desktop. I like 2 have all of my lil widgets on my toolbar to stay connected to various social media tools.
Do yall like 2 digg/stumbleupon/delicious? Is 'stuff going viral' authentic when it happens on those sites, or is it kinda like Newspaper moguls when they 'controlled everything'?
Do u believe that u can create ur own internet, and within that context, cultivate meaning + an appreciation of 'the world' according 2 u?
Should every site on the internet be a .gov?
Should I only use my computer to google questions about life?
Is google the 'anti-christ'/God?
My life takes place
on the internet
And then sometimes
real life happens
but I come back to the internet
to reflect on it
and record it
and 2 make it
history
kinda weird how we're all the same
cuz we all use the same tools 2 express ourselves'
When I die, will my social network accounts be deactivated?
do I need 2 leave my password 2 my email account in my will?
Or is that how hackers get in2 ur account?
[via lookbook]
Sometimes I wish I could go 2 sleep
and never wake up
This doesn't exactly mean I want to end my life
but I just want to be at peace
I want to lug my twin mattress
out to a meaningful public space
and take a lil nappy.
There is so much pressure in my life
Parents, Going away 2 college, expectations from others
The pressure to stay modern/current/relevant
Overcoming my insecurities
Sometimes I wish I could just 'let my hair down' [metaphor]
and be myself [metaphor]
free of the concept of 'mainstream vs alt' [metaphor]
because if u really think about it
there's no such thing as 'normal' [metaphor]
and if u really think about it even more
there's no such thing as money
so while I keep hearing things about the economie
being 'in the shitter' [metaphor]
I realize that we just have to pretend that 'gold' is valuable
but in all reality
that's just corporate bullshit
made up by companies like Coca Cola and Dell Computers
Kinda wish we had a new Che Guevara / Joan of Arc /Tyler Durden
in the modern world
who would challenge society
and take us to a whole new level
where I wouldn't just want to
metaphorically close my eyes
and metaphorically sleep 4ever.
Not sure if I'll ever pay back my student loans
Not sure if I'll ever own a home
Not sure if I'll ever make more than $33K/year
Not sure if I'll ever find what I'm looking for
Not sure if I'm even the type of bro who can handle a 9-5 job
Sometimes I wish I had a beautiful angel
in my life
to take care of me
and tell me that every thing's gonna be alright.
[Photo via Pregnant goldfish]
////SLEEP /// 4 /// EVER
[Img via lookbook]
Lately, I have been in a rut.
Feeling down
about architecture
cuz space changes ur daily life
more than u even realize.
This is me. Trapped In SuburbiaBro.
That's my dog--Hugh
named after the famous Actor Hugh Grant
we named him when Hugh was on top of the world
with romcoms (romantic comedies) like Four Weddings and A Funeral
N e ways...
Feelin' stuck
Feelin' down
Feelin' overwhelmed
Feelin' teen angst
Feelin' feelings is what I do best
My parents made me
join Student Council
but I would skip meetings
and smoke ciggies
and drink soda
at America's Drive In--Sonic
Getting introspective
in my room
alone
like that Beach Boys song
I go outside to take a walk
but realize
that my parents' property
isn't that big
so I can't get 'lost'
and metaphorically get lose in my own thoughts.
I think I will move to the city
and come home
and reunite with high school friends
and really brand myself
as having become an authentic part of this city
that I moved away to
Like my eyes are open
and I will purchase a meaningful t-shirt
of my newfound home
Or maybe I will buy an AZN
who will represent my connection to my new home
Or maybe
I will just get a tattoo of
the great alt state of Minnesota
Do yall feel 'trapped'?
Where r yall gonna move 2?
Is San Francisco more authentic than Brooklyn?
Or is Minnesota the new Brooklyn?
Or is Minnesota the new Australia?
Previous encounters with trapped in suburbiaBRo
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/checking-in-with-trapped-in-suburbiabro.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/02/reflections-on-suburbia-via-being-trapped.html
[Photo via lookbook]
Yall!
I finally did it! I turned 21! I can finally 'find out what alcohol tastes like!' Excited. 2nite I'm getting 2gether with a group of my closest friends, and a few other people who have really boring lives' and only go out when some1 they know has a birthday. Hope I get some good gifts/meaningful giftcards.
Do yall have any friends who 'make it a big deal' when it is a birthday? Do u h8 it? Do u get people gifts, or do u think that ur true bros don't expect gifts from you? Don't know how 2 feel about birthdays. I really like the attention, and that my parents gift me money/cars/macbooks, but still... there's just something a little bit mainstream about 'celebrating a birthday.' Do u just want to 'go downtown' and 'overpay for drinks' at a place that u have to 'wear something nice' to, instead of the usual underage-friendly bar that u 'chill at'?
Not to get all philosophical, but 'time' as we know it is kinda a human construct. Things like 'days', 'weeks', 'months' and 'years' are just labels. If we were all cavemen, we would only really know night+day AND hot+cold AND various weather changes. We would have no way to track the exact day we were born. That's probs why the cavemen died when the dinosaurs got hit be a meteor/cholera.
Whenever u go out for some ass hole's birthday, don't u feel kind of like u are trapped in a photo opportunity like this:
It just kinda sux. I want my birthday to be meaningful. Like more than just dinner+drinks+friends who can't distinguish how special UR night is from every other night. Same stuff happens, except there is cake, or 21 shots, or pizza, or something like that. Maybe I should 'plan a trip' for my birthday. Or maybe I should drive to the tip of South America on a motorcycle. Just want something more.
Do yall think birthdays are like the SUPER BOWL of Girls Nights Out?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/i-am-planning-a-girls-night-out-with-a-group-of-my-closest-girl-friends.html
N E WAYS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YALL.
When's ur birthday? I'll send u an eCard? [via 1997]
[Photos via lookbook]
Isn't it kinda crazy how alts are becoming so 'jacked up.' Not sure if we come out of the womb that way, or if we are 'trying to look interesting/tragic in photographs.' Maybe a lil bit of both. I know it's hard to understand this concept since we're all so different on the outside, but we're actually all the same on the inside. We all have 'bones and organs and cells inside of us.'
Just kinda worried about our bone structures. Not sure if yall realize this, but there are things inside of our body which keep us alive. We need to consume healthy stuff 2 keep us 'strong' and healthy, kinda like vegans except with meat. U need 2 do stuff like take vitamins, and go on long runs, and avoid fried foods and pizza.
If u don't get all of the nutrients that u need, ur body might start 2 'fuck up' and u will look 'jacked up.'
Do I need to drink more MILK?
Should I join a gym?
What can I do to prevent myself
Just kinda scared of the future of our world. What if our bones become Crystallized [Via crystal castles seinfeld meme]?
Worried that I'm not getting enough sun.
Worried that I'm not getting enough calcium.
Worried that I'm not getting enough iron.
Worried that I'm not getting enough Vitamin C.
Worried that I'm not getting enough protein.
Worried that I'm not getting enough exercise.
Worried that I'm not getting enough bro quality time.
Worried that I'm not getting enough love from my divorced parents.
Worried that I'm not getting enough tugs.
Worried that I'm not getting enough CLIF bars.
Worried that I'm not getting enough non-dairy frozen yogurt.
Worried that I'm not getting enough time away from the computer.
Worried that I'm not getting enough time in the wilderness.
Worried that I'm not getting enough 'life.'
Worried that I'm not getting enough Fish Oil / St. John's Wart.
Worried that I'm not getting enough cholesterol medicine.
Worried that I'm not getting enough XANAX.
Worried that I'm not getting enough Lexapro.
Worried that I'm not getting enough ___________.
Are yall worried about yalls health?
do u have seasonal allergies? // seasonal depression?
Are yall scared about 'getting older' and 'losing ur swagger'?
What r u doing 2 deal with 'growin up' or r u 'just gonna die young or live 4ever'?
[lookbook social network]
I think that being an 'activist' is an important trait/personal branding tool. It's important to 'stand for something' and 'not let the world spiral in2 some bullshit snarky, post-blogosphere cesspool." [via people who describe bad places as "cesspools"]
I am not sure what the pictured bro is all about, but u can just kinda tell that his message is important. His hoodie has a lot of words, and his face is hidden beneath the shadows. If I had to guess, I would say that the rant has something to do with:
Just wanted 2 know: what are YALL passionate about?
Is there stuff that's happening that yall have aligned ur personal brand with 2 let people know that u care?
Do yall wish that the unabomber wrote his manifesto on a hoodie instead of on a piece of paper?
Do yall think more people would have chilled with the Unabomber's anti-technology ideas if he was edited/reviewed by J.D. Salinger / Vonnegut / Crichton / Johnny Grisham / R.L. Stine?
[photo via Lookbrook]
I was looking at the internet, and noticed that this alt looked a lot like a famous alt. Not sure if it is actually her, or just a 'copycat' type of personal brand hijacker. Do yall think it's keut?
Try 2 guess who she looks like, yall.
I'll give yall a few hints:
If yall guess who it is, yall will be entered into a drawing to win a Macbook or the progressive fashion magazines in the picture. Good luck and I'll be liveblogging the Oscars tonight!
[Photo via lookbook]
This is my life
And I am not happy
With this setting of mine
I deserve more than this.
I walk around
and see the houses which
look a lot like mine
I want to move to the city and be with people
but other days
I want 2 move 2 the wilderness and live alone.
The school bus
motors by
and I see pollution come out of its tail pipe
I wouldn't mind emissions so much
if I lived in the city.
I am trapped in this life
where my parents have control
over what I do and who I am
I need to be free
because my parents
are guided by
society's norms
I used to play JV soccer
this is a team sport
however I grew apart from my team
and h8ed 'conforming'
to this concept
of a group of unified people
with one common goal
I don't have a problem
with being part of something
bigger than urself
but I think that ur goals
should be ones that make the world
a better/more authentic place
One day, I will start a nonprofit organization
that aggregates the world's most critically acclaimed music
and delivers pre-loaded iPods to children
in at-risk mainstream neighborhoods
(kind of like Meals-On-Wheels, except with indie-core music)
I have a vision
of a perfect world
I will not turn my back on suburbia
One day I will return
and 'save' the Collective Soul of the suburban people.
I want to make the world a more authentic place
One day
An army will march through suburbia
and set this place
on fire. (this is a metaphor)
Stranded
on my roof
all of my belongings
flooded & wind damaged
haven't had water for days
and my shirt is tattered
I am the Hurricane Survivor Alt
(Katrina Edition)
(My family has passed away)
[Photo via lookbook]
I don't know how I feel about the new personal brand of the post-hurricane+stranded on roof in tattered clothes Alt. Seems kinda offensive, particularly after how things have gone during recent Hurricane seasons. Hurricanes aren't funny, yall. But maybe HurricaneSurvivorBro is trying to present a 'think piece' that makes us remember how fortunate we are.
It kinda sucks how global warming has ruined everything. Glad that Obama is gonna find a way to make our nation's temperature drop a couple of degrees. That guy can do anything, yall! He kinda reminds me of 'the Godbro.'
"O, Katrina." - the Black Lips
OBAMA WILL NOT LET ANOTHER KATRINA HAPPEN
WHILE OBAMA IS IN OFFICE, NO HURRICANE WILL HIT AMERICAN SHORES.
OBAMA WILL SAVE US BEFORE WE EVEN HAVE 2 BE SAVED.
can't believe something as simple as 'an outfit' opened up this type of philosophical discussion. I guess fashion is important, yall.
Do u think ur next personal brand will serve as a ThinkPiece about an American tragedy?
Do u believe in 'non-profit' personal brands?
[via lookbook]
If u have a relevant circle of friends in ur local alternative community, every1 knows some1 who has implemented the personal brand of Bob Dylan circa 1960/1970. U have 2 have curly brown hair 2 do this, so it's kinda like a 'gift from god' if ur able to pull it off. All u need is to be a lil bit skinnie and wear meaningful black sunglasses. Being a Bob Dylalt probably means that you aren't into anything that is too modern (art, music, recent cinema), and u enjoy being 'vintage' bc things used to be way more authentic back then.
I'm not even sure what Bob Dylan was all about. I think he was about 'authenticity' or something. Only heard like 1 of his songs about being 'like a Rolling Stones' but usually get him confused with Bruce Springsteen.
Didn't he h8 Andy Warhol cuz Warhol was 'too zany' and 'too modern' and 'didn't take the world srsly enuff' and Bob Dylan was kind of like the AnCo of the pre-internet era?
PLZ some1 help me. I don't know much about alternative history. wish there was a class about it at my local community college.
xx bonus Dylan Spawn Meme xx
Does n e 1 know if it is more authentic to be a WallflowerAlt than a BobDylalt?
[via driving home with 1 headlight]
[Photo via Lookbook]
Dear Mom,
I h8 how u do not 'get' me 1 bit. U need 2 pay attention 2 me so that u don't end up looking like a dumbass shitface who 'doesn't care about her son' when u try to do something nice 4 me. Recently, u went to a local Best Buy to get me a meaningful gift to go with last Christmas's Macbook stocking stuffer. U decided 2 get me an iPod touch.
First of all... I already have an iPhone. Totally don't need an iPod touch. s00 dumb. U srsly should NOT be alive. U need 2 read more actual publications on the internet instead of reading the local paper from 2 years ago. U think ur smart because u 'have a career' but the shit u do is meaningless, and I would srsly slit my own throat and wrists if I had 2 do what u do every day. There's more to 'life' than ur version of life--I wish u could see it my way so that you'd understand my most recent personal brand implementation.
I SRSLY JUST TOOK A BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS I AM SO PISSED OFF AT LIFE. /////
N e ways, Just wanted 2 let u know that record players are the new iPods. Just a more 'organic' feeling when ur listening to music. Like ur closer to the artist. (I might also give up my iPhone and only use pay phones.)
I h8 the idea of
1) purchasing mp3s
2) being 'so portable' just like every1 else
3) co-branding myself with white earbuds
4) having some ghey-metallic coloured iPod
5) being 'so connected' with a wifi connection
6) the audio quality isn't authentic
7) Apple is a BULL SHIT MONOPOLY
8) The recent Apple product recall because Steve Jobs's disease 'contaminated' a bunch of product lines
Record players are the future bc U have to make a decision about 'where u want to be' and make sure that your apartment/room/space is extra meaningful. It's also more difficult to 'collect vinyls' than it is to collect mp3s, so it makes you 'love music' more that typical people.
I wish u'd realize how 'out' iPods are. They are for high schoolers and overgrown tweens. Do u really think I look like this guy?
[Photo via Easy Fashion]
/// h8 the shit out of u, mom
/// we used to be 'bros' right after dad 'left us'
/// but now I am finally seeing
/// that I was the 1 worth leaving.
Love,
your altSon
PS: can u leave me some pizza money 4 the weekend?
[vialookbook]
I just saw the cutest lil alt when I was doing some online shopping yall. I remember back in 2k8, my big gimmick was 'purchasing an AZN.' This year, I think I'm looking for something that's a little bit more youthful and fun. While buying a lil alt might be a 30% increase in maintenance costs, I think it will probably end up being a better accessory/altSlave. AZNs are small, but u can't really compare their size to a lilAlt. Pre-tween alts are perfect because they are so energy efficient and customizable. So even though you're going to pay a bit more for a lilAlt, they'll probably get you back that money with fuel/energy savings.
LilAlts are more customizable than AZNs. I was actually thinking of starting a Human Trade shop in my local mall where people can purchase lil Alts (and a few high-end AZNs), and select outfits + accessories for them. (kinda like popular franchise BUILD A BEAR)
What makes having a human accessory fun isn't the fact that they 'help u with chores' that much. It's kinda more like having a tamagachi. When it 'cries' u have to feed it a lil bit. and sometimes u can play with it. but if it dies, u can just press the 'reset' button or get a new 1. The fun part is just 'making it ur own' and it doesn't require the responsibilities of having a child of ur own.
What type of lilAlt do yall think yall will buy?
(Thinking about adopting a pokemone from a 3rd world country.)
What.Would.Jesus.Do?
Is there a different kind of human that u are thinking about purchasing in 2k9, or is 'the economy' holding u back from making the $100-$200 investment?
[photo by lookbook]
The Most Alternative Couple Alive has a stronger bond than your entire family. They have a common goal that is more complex than 'staying alive and caring 4 one another.'
The Most Alternative Couple Alive never sleeps--they read blogs between 4 am-12 noon searching for the next big trends.
The Most Alternative Couple Alive will eventually merge as one epic tattoo mural.
The Most Alternative Couple Alive have forfeited their unique personal brands in order to become a mega-Lifestyle Brand. They will launch an online store and music project by 2k9.5.
The Most Alternative Couple Alive have left a major metropolitan area, and live in a conceptual forest in an ecosystem where they hunt & gather for their food. This is more authentic than 'being vegan' because they actually kill the animals, eat them and wear them.
They only listen to Animal Collective, and they are so alternative that they believe the Here We Go Magic EP is better than the new AnCo 'CD.'
The Most Alternative Couple Alive go together like a Child Predator and Illegal Keut Bait.
The Most Alternative Couple will eventually have an alternative baby, bringing him into this world in a bathtub full of Fiji Water.
The Most Alternative Couple Alive do not have any friends because they are the only two people on this Earth who 'get' one another. They have also cut off their parents, but their parents have not cut them off yet ( still rely on monthly parental checks to pay for 33% of their expenses).
The World's Most Alternative Couple is The World's Most Alternative Couple.
I want to be a proud member
of the most
alternative couple
in the world.
Do yall know any alternative couples? What makes them 'more alt' than a regular couple?
