Photo via lookbook

I am embarrassed, even though the car was very economical, and made tons of sense for our four-person nuclear family. I make my parents drop me off a block away from school, just in case people ‘judge me’ based on the car that my parents’ drive. It just doesn’t make sense that some1 with my personal brand would come from the ‘mediocrity’ that my parents’ car seems to represent. I wish I could have been ‘consulted’ a little bit more when they were making their decision. Feel like my needs are also important, and are usually ‘neglected’ due to budget constraints. Ugh. Wish my parents had jobs that paid more and meant that they’d travel a lot.

Just afraid that I will look ‘too middle class’ if people see me getting chauffeured around the city in that ‘normal person’ car. Wish they had something sportier, or possibly a car that made our family seem ‘richer’ than we actually are. I feel like it is important for other people to have an appearance of your life being ‘a process of getting whatever you want’, even though everything is a struggle at my house.

Also feel ‘incredibly generic’ since my mom wants to give me her boring Camry as my first car. Seriously would rather fucking ‘walk every where.’

Photograph of my mom’s Camry

I just want my ‘colleagues’ to believe that I am some1 incredibly interesting, who comes from a set of cool parents. Sorta wish ppl thought I got to school by subway, even though our suburban area is miles away from any public transportation system that has been branded as ‘authentic.’ We only have buses, and they are mainly ridden by the poors and coloureds.

Just wish my parents ‘at least’ had a Volvo/Volkswagen/Prius. Possibly some sort of ambiguous SUV. Tired of looking ‘too middle class.’ Might get a job next summer to buy a ______.

Don’t want my parents to come across as people who are just ’struggling 2 make a living.’
Yall know what I mean, rite?

Are yall embarrassed of yalls parents, and do u wish they understood the importance of personal branding [via consumer decisions]?
R ur parents rich or middle class or poor?
What type of car did they drive?
‘What was ur first car?’ -people from the 50s/60s/70s

We went on a family vacay when I was 10
to chill in the Grand Canyon and New Mexico
We stopped at a gift shop on an ‘Injun’ Reservation
and my parents encouraged me to buy ‘a bag of kewl looking rocks’
and a gadget called ‘a dream catcher.’

Don’t be afraid to dream.
There’s nothing wrong with ‘being a dreamer.’

Do u have a dreamcatcher necklace?

My parents kicked me out of the house. I lived in a drug dealer’s apartment for several weeks, until he expected me to pay him rent with sexual favors. I found a cozy nook underneath the Main Street bridge. Every night, I curl up on a piece of cardboard, and find myself doing something I haven’t done since I became an atheist at 6 years old–I pray. I pray to any one who will listen: God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, Allah, Osama Bin Laden, Barry Obama. I pray hard.

One morning I came downstairs expecting to pour myself a bowl of Cinnamon Toast crunch and eat it on the couch while watching reruns of Project Runway and The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Both of my parents were waiting at the table for me. They had my pipe on the table, as well as 1 gram of dank, a lil bump of coke, a stack of pornographic DVDs, and a poster board of LSD. They said “What is this?”

I replied, “I’m sorry. I’m going through an experimental phase.”
Mom: “Experiment my ass!”
Me: “It’s not like you never did any experimenting during ur youth.”
Dad: “We don’t want you to make the same mistakes that we did.”
Mom: “Your dad is right.”
Me: “I don’t even know why you’re confronting me about this when u have problems of your own.”
Mom: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Your dad and I are doing well.”
Me: “You know dad cheated on you with that waitress from Chili’s. I can hear through the walls at night.”
Dad: “That’s enough!”
(mom starts sobbing uncontrollably, leaves the room…silence for 5 minutes)
Me: Well… are you done? I’m going to eat some CTC (cinna toast crunch).
Dad: Listen to me you little shit. I brought you into this world with my semen, and I can take you the fuck out. If you want to live under this roof, you need to get your shit together, and respect me.
Me: Why did you cheat on mom?
Dad: I didn’t cheat on your mother….we’re not getting into this. I left a cup that I need you to fill up with pee. Please go do that soon.
Me: Why do you need to drug test me if you know I am already on drugs?
Dad: Once again, this is about respect.
Me: I don’t respect you.
Dad: Get the fuck out of my house.
Me: FINE.

I went to my room and put all of my favourite clothes into a bag. I had $60 to my name. I put my Macbook into my computer bag, and left the house through the backdoor. Eventually I found out that there are no wireless networks under bridges, and the ones that do show up require a password.

Every day I go to a local coffee shop to look for jobs, and stay relevant by reading alt websites. However, I am feeling like maybe ‘being alt’ doesn’t even matter. Maybe now that I am on my own, I won’t care about social subcultures any more. I just want to be able to feed myself every day. I’m never going back home again. Not to that fucked up family.

I think I’ll make it on my own. Maybe I can get a job at Am Appy, and save up enough money to buy an efficiency. I think I’ll make it. They say that the hard times are what really make u “you.” Sorta like what Steve Carrell told Paul Dano in “Little Miss Sunshine” [via Proust]. These are hard times, but I think I’ll get through them and my life will be more meaningful.

I remember in the popular movie Forrest Gump,
Tom Hanks and Jenny say ‘make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away’
as Jenny tries to escape from her father’s physical and sexual abuse
Eventually she ‘becomes a slut’ when she grows up
and in a way she sort of became a bird
and flew far, far away from ‘innocence’ [via dying of AIDS]

All we are
are alts in the wind…

I am just trying to create an authentic life for myself.
I am just trying to fill up my apartment with meaningful items.
I am just trying to create authentic art.
I am just collecting some cameras from different eras.
I am just enjoying a beer, relaxing.
I am just collecting old magazines with pictures of nature/old stuff
I am just mashing up genres of music.
I am just sitting on my authentic couch.
I am just going buy some used books later that look ‘old’ and ‘historically relevant’.
I am just going to buy some humble shoes.

I am just 1 bro
I am just 1 bro searching for meaning
I am just 1 bro searching for meaning in our modern world.
I am just 1 bro creating art in my meaningful space
looking to transcend
evrythng

Previous meaningful/authentic apartments
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/my-authentic-life-is-full-of-authentic-props-in-my-authentic-apartment.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/the-meaningful-objects-in-my-apartment-make-me-who-i-am.html

Have yall bought anything new for your apartment lately?
Have yall created any new/relevant music lately using nontraditional/lofi/D.I.Y. recording methods?

We went 4 a walk
running away from my parents’ house
went to a manmade lake/drainage solution
that was constructed in the middle of the neighborhood.

We stripped nude
and took a bath within nature
putting on an Animal Collective album
using my portable iPod dock

The police were called
arresting us
police brutality

I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

Fuck. So miserable.
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

h8 my local high school
h8 all the ppl who value ‘fitting in’
and don’t ‘get’ what life is all about
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

Shit. Not even sure if I will ever break free
or if I will end up back in suburbia
since it is a cost-effective place to raise a child.
Shit. FUCK. help me, gawdbro.
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

So many houses
all looking the same
feel even sadder about poorer people who live in apartments
relieved that I have a spacious house
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

I wear Am Appy
and no 1 ‘gets’ me
except for gothbros
who wear ‘black AmAppy hoodies’ without realizing what the brand ‘means.’
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

I want 2
set this place on fire
I want 2
b me
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

fuck. help me. plz. help me.
sprawl. opening up new Home Depot by where I live
since there are so many new neighborhoods [via contractors]
feeling sad about trees being cut down and shit like that
Wonder how I would feel if the built suburbia to look ‘more like the city.’
Going to walk more and ride my bike.
help

Sometimes ur hornie, but there’s no1 else around 2 ‘get u off.’ I feel happie that some1 invented ‘masturbation.’ Imagine if there was no way 2 pleasure urself? Feel like there would be a lot of lonely people out there. I think guys just have to ‘tug off’ and ‘watch some slut getting fucked’ on the internet.

Does n e 1 know how girls ‘get off’?
From what I have heard, when a girl wants 2 cum by herself, she just has to sit on top of a washing machine/dryer?

Not even really sure how vaginas work. I think there is 1 part that ur ’supposed 2 rub’ and then another part ‘deep inside.’

Feel anxious about losing my virginity. Worried that my parents will find out and think that I’m ‘a slut’/'hornie piece of shit’. I just wish that they’d realize that I’m young and in love.

Happie that I know about ‘condoms’ and ‘alternate methods of contraception.’ I srsly feel like my life would be over if I got a girl preggers.

Sort of wish my middle school had Sex Ed/taught evolution. Think that I wouldn’t be so ‘naive’ if I knew more about the world.
Is n e 1 gonna wait 2 have sex until ur married?
What do u do when ur hornie? Do yall like sexting?

This is a post about exploring ur sexualitie, kinda like the movie EYES WIDE SHUT.

PHOTO VIA LOOKBOOK

Today I watched an MGMT music video
and listened to Animal Collective
and also listend 2 Passhy Pit
then cut up my favourite Am Appy shirt
and put some paint on my face

Went outside
all of my neighbors looked at me like I was from another planet
even though they usually give me that look
it made me happie
that I was challenging social norms
and saying ‘eff yall’ 2 them.

I was the most free spirited person
within a 100 mile radius
My mom and dad looked out the window
and looked disappointed

If only they knew
what I wanted 2 do
and the ideas inside of me
which can be converted to art
and be sold 4 a great deal of money

If only they knew
that I am not going to work for an insurance company
in a business park
in a yucky part of town in some cheesy city.

I am trapped in suburbia
1 day
I will get out of this hell hole.
1 day…

I am the next Marc Jacobs/ Jermbro Scott / winner from Projjers Runway.
What’s ur anti-suburbia [via anti-drug]?

Previous feelings of being trapped in suburbia
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/trapped-in-suburbia-bro

photo via lookbook

Who does she look like, yall?

Hints:

• She is the lead singer of the popular bloghouse band ‘Crystal Castles.’
• She is the frontman of the popular garage rock band ‘The Ya Ya Yalls.’
• Her family had a successful reality show on MTV2.
• She is dating Albert Hammond Jr. of the StrokeBros.
• She is the spawn of Bruce Willis and Demi Kutcher.
• She is a popular singer of the band The Gossip Girls who recently went on the reality tv show ‘The Biggest Loser: Celebrity Fit Club.’
• Whatever happened 2: Uffie?
• She sang on the song “Stan” with Eminem.

Soo angry that I can’t quite put my finger on who she looks like.  Can yall think of who she loox like?

Photo via lookbook

I had spent all summer convincing my parents that I didn’t need to go to college–I needed a year off to figure out who I am, and what I REALLY need and want to do. It was a bold decision that only risk takers like me would make. I’d be better off if I had the opportunity to find myself by living in the city for a while. Even if I just had a shitty job, or eventually got an internship with a web magazine, I know the experience would be the best way to spend my time.

These days when I drive to my retail job in suburbia, I think about what I experienced, what I went through, and how I am a strong, brave person. My parents will never trust me again, but I think I have a better idea of who I am and what I want and what human suffering is.

EVICTION
A TRUE STORY
BY
CARLES