It's not easy being Jared. Being the frontman of the most important band in the world has some perks. The Grade A models that you get to bang. Unlimited coconut water in my green room. Driving sweet vintage cars that fit with my personal brand. But that's not everything.
It's not easy being Jared. Yes, I know how to pleasure beautiful women unlike any other man can pleasure a woman, but sexual existence is only a small part of who I am, what I do, and how my art exists in the world.
Try living my life in my shoes for a day. I guarantee you wouldn't make it out alive. I have one of the most beautiful minds in the world. It is so beautiful, complex, and deep that it would paralyze most commoners. The way that I see beauty, art, the bullshittiness of society is unlike any human before me.
It's really not easy being Jared.
My name is Jared Leto. Viva La Effing Bam, bitches. I can JACKASS in my dreams [via Inception].
I hate being beautiful. Ass hole photographers all want a piece of me. They want to capture my soul [via photography].
You can't contain me. You cannot capture me. I do not exist in photographs. The representation of me is abstract as the horizon lines move towards the infinite abyss, no longer representing the surreality of my metachemical and metaphysical presences as time, space, architecture, and neuroscience processes your psychological output of the being of my existence. Time shall end, as will my body, cremated and ashes spread across the globe from a Stealth bomber, but as the ash rains down upon this world, we shall know that Jared Leto never existed, but at the same time, Jared Leto was everything that ever existed.
It's not easy being Jared Letbro.
You see me. You see some one beautiful. Some one alternative. You don't understand.
It's not easy being Jared Leto.
Jared Leto is alt
Some woman shows her titties 2 Jared Leto bc he is so hot
Jared Leto is the most alternative man alive.
Jared Leto gives a pretentious awards speech for a fake MTV award
Jared Leto has an alt mohawk, is alt
Photo by the cobrasnake
Yall probably remember my American Idol liveblog, where I watched AmIddy for the first time. There was a character on the show named Adam Lambert who 'seemed kinda ghey' but no1 was really sure. There were moments during the season where he did 'really gay stuff' but no1 was allowed to say he was gay or else he wouldn't get a record contract and Middle Americans/Christians are the only ppl who 'buy CDs'/'songs off iTunes' today. Not sure if Adam Lambert is 'a huge coward' for not 'coming out.' Maybe he didn't see the movie MILK so he doesn't understand what homosexuals have gone through. I feel like young people take 'the gift of homosexuality' for granted, and don't realize that we basically live in utopia.
Anyways, he 'apparently came out' and is now 'officially ghey.' Not sure if the bro in the picture is his 'lover' or if it is just a big fan of Am Idol. Can't believe his BF is 'an altbro.'
Do yall think that mainstream celebs should be forced to tell the world their sexualities? Or only the ghey ones? I wish that there was some sort of celebrity trading card where u could get the stats on a famous person. Or maybe homosexuals could wear some sort of 'scarlet letter' like eye liner, or bootcut jeans, or some other trend that u see in ur local homosexual circuit. Feel like they 'wouldn't mind.'
I am not sure if 'being ghey' is something that ur born with, or if it is a choice u make, or if it is 'bad parenting.' Probably 'a lil bit of everything.' I have heard that there is a problem in high schools where teenagers are 'being gay' just to rebel against their parents. Even though the kidz aren't 'actually gay' they see 'being a homosexual' as 'being an individual.' Tweens apparently see 'being gay' as some sort of decision that means ur 'more committed to ur individuality' than 'just wearing a Fall Out Boy t-shirt.' Feel weird that tweens who are 'not actually ghey' might be performing some 'very intense sexual acts.' Worried.
Wish either 'every1 was ghey' or 'every1 was straight' and we didn't have to deal with these issues. It makes more sense for ppl to all be 'straight' so that the 'human race' can 'live on.' Might start experimenting though.
Do yall know any1 who is a homosexual? What are they like? Are they 'just like us' or do you have to 'treat them differently'? Share your stories in the comments.
Please note: This picture is not safe for browsing in environments which do not allow you to see more than 3/5 of a nipple.
Photo via the cobrasnake
I remember the 'glory days' or HRO when 'nothing mattered' except for alternative n00ds, nip slips, and bloghouse mp3s. Feel like the 'party' has died, kind of like that time that disco died, and people said 'disco sucks, yall.' But then in 2k8, people started making disco again since the internet created enough niches for a disco tune to exist+be consumed.
But srsly yall... nip slips might still be better than 'seeing a whole tit' because it leaves more 2 the imagination. like it is 'boring' when a girl puts out 2 fast, so u sort of need her to 'hold out' so you can get emotionally connected+obsessed with the eventual goal of 'cumming on/in her.' Then when it happens, u feel like life is meaningful, but eventually u 'get tired of it' and want some1 new.
Miss the search for the perfect alternative breasts.
Miss when altcelebs would 'show off their goods. Glad that the cobrabro is still willing to 'be himself' but wish more females would do the same.
Previous nipslip coverage
I know we're all trying to look our best throughout the entire year--ur personal brand is important. We're trying to differentiate from the mainstream pack. Winter is a time where we see the alternative population utilize the same items every year. Pea Coats, hoodies, cardigans, other alt stuff that provides warmth and covers your sleeves without compromising your personal brand. While Cosby sweaters are kinda popular, I think we're gonna see more UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS than usual this year.
Does n e 1 know if 'we' stole the concept of the ugly Christmas sweater from the mainstreamers? Don't they have parties that they invite all of their facebook friends to with 'Ugly Christmas sweater' themes?
Do yall have n e lonely aunts without kids who would be willing 2 give me some of her old clothing that I could wear/start an eBay store with?
XX BONUS IMPORTANT QUESTION XX
Is this an Ugly Christmas sweater of just an ugly sweater? Or something that M.I.A. would 'design'?
What are yall gonna wear this winter 2 keep warm?
Have yall heard of 'scarves'? Saw them in a maggyzine.
Yall remember the time I blggd abt that cobrasnake guy who made t-shirts in order to give money to Africans? I thought it was some sort of pyramid scheme 4 him to raise money for his AlternativeInterests, but it seems like he actually did go to Affryca!
Do yall wish u could start a site that is popular with alts & mainstreamAlts in order to get money to give to Africans? I wish I could buy/adopt some African kids. I hear they are only like a dollar a day. Sounds like a good deal, but u know, that adds up if they live to be over 18.
Every child on this planet should have the opportunity to wear a pair of Crocs. Crocs aren't just for Americans, or white people, or rich people, or poor-Americans-being-helped-by-Rich-Americans. We should all be able to wear our favourite pair of Crocs 365.25 days per year.
There comes a time when every entity with a 'public voice' has to use their voice 4 good. I'm not sure what cause I'm going to rally around, but it will probably be something tangible/meaningful in my 'personal life.'
I'm more worried about American problems than global problems. Stuff like 'traffic', 'information overload', 'slow internet connections', and 'establishing healthy relationships with my parents who don't 'get' me.' Maybe even depression. If I only had to read blogs my whole life instead of books, I probably wouldn't even know what 'Africa' is.
Did u know that over 25% of Americans still use dial-up internet? We're basically a 3rd world nation, yall :-(
Things will get better. I promise. Should I get an iPhone or a blackberry or wait for the gPhone?
More Africa Facebook Photo Album style Pixxx
We live in a world where things change every day. One day u r famous, the next day no1 knows who u r. One day u r a viral internet meme...the next day ur just another person who uses the internet too much and understands the concept of a 'meme.'
I just wanted to know what happened to stuff from the past. Some of the stuff we should miss. Some of the stuff we shouldn't miss 2 much.
WHATEVER HAPPENED 2:
The band that dressed up in suits (the Interpolice)
The Zany Female Jewish Comedian
The Postal Services
The guy who played 'The Terminating"
Mark Hunter, Photographer for thecobrasnake.com, before he 'changed'
Conan O'Brien style humor
The song with the whistling about not caring about young people
What happened 2 the days when we used 2 all get along and only care about partying 4 the sake of partying? Back before money, reputation, and personal brands were on the line. Will things ever be authentic again?
The guy from the band ZanyTown (Crazie)
The nice guy from Friends
The Fat guy from SNL who was on drugs
The modern philosopher/minimalist web designer/human internet meme, Jakob Loadwick
The Flight of the Quirk-chords
Girls with personal brands that emulated Lisa Loeb
The sillie bass player from The Fred Durst Band (FDB)
People who go to music festivals 2 see Jack Johnson
SRSLY yall...what ever happened 2 all of this stuff?
Is society getting better or worse?
Does the internet make things less meaningful?
Having an IN RAINBOWS poster above ur bed is
f) xx goth xx stream x
g) he's probz gonna start a party pic site in 2012
h) a poster of 'Kid A' would be more authentic
i) He probz made a radiohead rmx for marketing purposes
j) entry level scene
k) entry level hipster circa 2002
l) he's probz friends with Thommy Yorke
m) he could only earn my respect if he was covering a Che Guevara poster with his IN RAINBOWS poster
n) Remember Radiohead? Weren't they an 'internet meme' in 2007/2008?
o) this poster is something a recently-divorced 'cool dad' would invest in to authentically connect with his entry-level-entry-level 11 year old future alt
Photo via the Cobrasnake
▼▼▼▼IT IS BROTHER JARED▼†††▼▼
▼▼▼▼▼ΔΔ✈✈HOW R U?✈✈✈✈✈
✈✈✈✈✈❖▲▲▲▲R U ALIVE?▲▲▲▲❖❖❖✈✈✈
✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ JARED LETO✞ ✞ ✞ ✞
▲▲▲▲THE WORLD IS ▲▲▲
▼▼▼▼❖❖❖AND I HAVE VIP❖❖❖▼†††▼▼❖❖❖❖❖❖
▼▼▼ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ▼▼FREE WILL▼▼▼▼▼††††††††
ΔΔΔΔΔΔΔTHIS IS JAREDΔΔΔΔΔΔΔΔΔΔΔΔΔ
▲▲▲▲I AM NOT TRAPPED▲❖❖❖❖❖▲▲
▲▲▲I BELIEVE IN SOMETHING GREATER▲▲†▲▲ΔΔΔΔ
▲▲▲❖❖❖THAT UNITES US ALL❖❖❖▲▲†††††††
▼▼▼▼▼††❖†▼2 MY LIFE▼▼▼
✞ ❖❖❖✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞
Δ ✞ ✞ ΔΔΔΔΔ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ΔΔΔΔΔ
ΔΔΔΔ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞††
▼▼▼▼▼I am 30 seconds▼▼▼
▼▼▼▼▼from finding myself▼▼▼▼▼
▼▼▼▼▼▼from losing myself▼▼▼▼▼▼
✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞ ✞
Where've u been, bro?
I know ur not on tour....
Why are you ignoring me?
Are you mad at me or something?
Did I say something wrong?
I saw you were VIPing with Cobrabro
What's up with that?
I thought we were all VIP?
Why didn't you list me?
I texted you a few times last week.
Did u get a new number, bro?
Why'd you unfollow me on twitter?
I can't direct message you any more
Where've you been?
Do you still get on gChat, or are u just ghosting all the time?
I searched for you on facebook
But I'm not sure which one the real you is
Do you operate your own fan page?
Bro? Ezra Broenig?
Can we talk soon?
Why are you ignoring me?
I thought we were bros
Then I asked Rostam what was up with you
and he was like "Yeah he's not going out much any more"
But then I hear you are out all the time.
Let's just try to clear the air.
Please talk to me.
I miss bronoodling with u. :-(
Am I not AltJew enough 4 u?
Steve Aoki and the Cobrasnake, also known as Mark Hunter, seem to be chilling in Africa. Steve Aoki is the owner of the record label Dim Mak. Dim Mak makes merch. T-shirts, records, CDs, tons of 'kewl shit' that Californian kids with expendable income can purchase.
It seems like in an act of 'good will', Steve Aoki donated some of his t-shirts to African kids who are in need of an oversized tshirt that represents their favourite lifestyle brand. Do u think he also taught them how to DJ / how to install a twitter app on their smart phone?
Little Bro seems happy. That's what life is all about.
Really looks like the Dim Mak brand is transcending this shanty town / the entire continent of Africa.
I think this might be some sort of metaphor. The Cobrsnake bro's "Shit Happens" t-shirt is commentary on how you are born into a life, and even if ur stuck in Africa, you can still rise above and become President of the United States.
Was it nice of these bros to give these lil bros some merch?
Do yall feel bad for African kids?
If you could give a kid in Africa one relevant CD, which one would it be?
Do you think African children appreciate products that were made in the USA by a vertically integrated company [via Am Appy]?
Have u ever adopted an African child?
XX BONUS AOKI LONE BRO CONTEMPLATING THE FUTURE PHOTO XX
Don't jump, Steven
ur in love now
2 a perfect Australian altbaguette
do it for the kids
The mexis in california who <3 u
the lil AZNs in Singapore who check ur twitter every day
I know life is overwhelming
and sometimes u need 2 go 2 the other side of the world
2 get some time 2 breathe
kinda like Dave Chappelle when he was the funniest man on the Earth
but ur gonna be okay
life is worth living, broski
I guess this is Growing up
Take a moment
then let's get some Grey Goose
and go metaphorically ape shit
while playing a bngr