One day, u will observe their relationship in an authentic local coffee shop. U will listen to one of their conversations. They will sound like tweens, making requests for ‘a new Apple book Pro’, anxiousness about their major in French/ Marketing / Fashion / General Design, and talk about ‘being excited’ about ‘going to a concert’ that they think will make them more authentic. Feel weird when you run into this couple doing cliched things like ‘thrifting’, ‘going to a record store and buying records’, ‘reading books/cliched novels in public’, and ‘going Vespa shopping.’ These couples are the kind of couples who actually ‘make future plans together’, and ‘relocate to THE CITY’ together without ‘using it as an excuse to break up.’

Sort of jealous of high level alt bag couples. Feel like both members of the party are usually ‘very handsome’ in some sort of ‘i look beautiful’ way. Not sure if they ‘have good sex.’

It makes me sad because all I can ever day are ‘entry level alts’ who date me to ‘feel cooler’ and ‘get a new snarky perspective on life.’ Or just ‘crazy rich mediocre suburban girl’ alts, who are only ‘alt’ because they couldn’t ‘fit in’ with the mainstream crowd during high school/’pay for friends’ and join a sorority. Feel sad when all of these girls sort of ‘fail’ in their quest for ‘meaning’ in life. Feel sad that altbros can’t give women the love and attention that they truly need.

All I ever wanted was a high level altbaguette.
Feel like we’re doomed. Not sure if 2 people are supposed 2 be together.’

“I believe in a thing called love, yall.” – the Darkness

Are there any high level alt couples in ur local scene who ‘don’t have any friends’ but are ‘always around’ that u are able to stalk?

Not sure if I wanna see it, though. Kinda worried that it’s just some viral marketing stuff.
/// “GOT ALT?” – Hipster Runoffs

Might see this movie instead.

Or maybe this movie

Or maybe ‘Freakie Fridayz’

Or maybe just a ghey twink film.

Every year, a few films come out that I think I am supposed to see to make sure I can carry on relevant conversations with relevant people. Is “Milk” the first movie of 2k9 that I am ’supposed to see’ because it’s gonna be brilliant/relevant/ghey?

Should I wait til it is on DVD/VHS, have a ‘girls nite in’ based around watching it, order pizza, and then have a ‘group suicide ice breaker’ activity where we move on to our next lives’ while eating stuffed crust?

The latest venture being a coffee table book titled “Influence” which seeks to share the Olsen’s own pop culture influences (everyone from Terry Richardson, Karl Lagerfeld and Radiohead).

I rlly need 2 start to think about which pop culture references have had huge impact on my life. Should I start listening to more abstract Radiohead lyrics that I can apply meaning to? Just need 2 make a coffee table book/meaningful scrapbook.

I feel like I can really gain from reading the Olsen Twins’z memes, since they had a gifted childhood, and now life an authentic alternative life. They have access 2 anything they could ever want. The Zaniest accessories. The kutest males. The finest drugs. The best Buffalo Exchange outlets. Autoacceptance to any respected alternative university in the world. They have it all, yall.

We need to jump on this opportunity to get inside of their heads.

N e ways…Pedestrian.tv obtained pictures from Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s book. I thought I’d post them so that yall can ‘relate’ to them.




Do yall feel ‘closer’ to the Olsen twins now?
Don’t u luv when the special-est people in the world share their beautiful minds & memes with u?
Isn’t it refreshing to see that even ‘celebs’ have zany, random, meaningful thoughts going through their heads?
How old were u when u made ur first/last meaningful scrapbook?

Yall, I miss the days when Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen looked like girls who shopped at Target/WalMart, but only bought stuff that they thought was kute, but they still ‘had a budget.’

Do yall still feel like they murdered Heath, or have u forgiven them?

All roads lead back 2 Heath.

Yall, I miss the days when Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen looked like girls who shopped at Target/WalMart, but only bought stuff that they thought was kute, but they still ‘had a budget.’

Do yall still feel like they murdered Heath, or have u forgiven them?

All roads lead back 2 Heath.

So I wanted to start blggng more abt when musicians create fashion lines. I just think it’s really beautiful when an artist has this image/aesthetic/target market, and they get their fan base to love them so much that they want to ‘dress how the songz sound’. I know that when I put on my Justice jacket, I look how a banger sounds. It’s basically the same as walking around with a boombox that is playing “D.A.N.C.E.” without all of the noise.

Sheryl Crow: She’s a free-spirited icon for white people who all they want to do is have some fun/soak up the sun/other catchy chorus-able, vague positive-sounding activities.

N e ways… I am thinking of buying clothes from Sheryl Crow’s new fashion line for ‘my tacky white trash GF who usually buys keut WalMart clothes and thinks these clothes will make her a more interesting person when she goes out with her girls to drink Coors Lite. I will also buy her a GREATEST HITS cd by SherCrow and tickets to a live show in order for her to have a 360 degree experience when it comes to being one with SherCrow.’

Is having a fashion line the final step for ‘becoming a lifestyle brand‘? (A ‘fashion line’ can be as simple as making a few interesting/kyeut t-shirts)

Do people still want to ‘dress like rock stars’? I feel like people should want to dress like ‘it girls’, miscellaneous reality TV stars (proj runway), or characters from Wes Anderson movies. It’s also okay when people want to dress like the Joker.

N e ways… here is Sheryl Crow’s fashion line

If u buy this leather vest, will u automatically be able to play the guitar?

Are these jeans skinny enuff 4 u?

Remember when Sheryl Crow looked broke before she got plastic surgery/got hammied by Lance Armstrong.

Does banging Lance Armstrong make you more or less alt?

“One of the coolest songs I have ever heard, I was just talking to somebody about it today. Have you ever heard of the band Death Cab for Cutie? Their new single is one of the most kick-ass songs I have heard in a long time. It’s called ‘I Will Possess Your Heart’ and it’s eight and a half minutes long, it’s so bad-ass.”
—Lance Armstrong

This song is an 8 minute long anthem made for ‘people who have been in real love–not the fake kind’.

[fashion line via idolator]
[Lance Armstrong FGGT quote via GVBtumblr]

Notable types of people in this video are:

• cool dad
• aging alts
• purgatory ‘alternative’ people who don’t know what aesthetic they are going for, but do know how to play acoustic guitar
• festival bros
• the wacky guy in your HS band
• People who wear baseball caps
• Men who wear sunglasses that are functional, instead of obnoxious
• Acoustic Guitar All-Stars who are recapturing the glory from their high school talent shows
• Rock Stars who are on a never-ending quest to ‘go viral’

I hope Prince makes Vimeo take down this video of his song.
*********************
‘I dropped out of Harvard 4 this?’
-Rivers Cuomo after Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen covered ‘Island in the Sun’