HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photos via the guardian

From what I understand, there is some 'intense Iran-style anti-govt riots' going down in Egypt. Some say it is because the President shut down the internet, but I am not really familiar with issues that exist in the real world (especially the non American suburban Arab world), mainly just alt issues that exist on the internet. However, it seems like the #1 meme of the riots has been the zany helmets that protesters are wearing in order 2 protect themselves from bricks / bullets / bombs / miscellaneous projectiles.

DIY helmets seem like they might catch on in the USA/Euro indie scene. I could see a lot of people wearing a diy helmet to a relevant music festival, a Crystal Castles show, or even just to grab coffee at a local, relevant coffee shop. I think it will give non-fashion+design majors an opportunity to create something beautiful, utilizing a meaningulf arts and crafts type of process.

Have yall ever 'raged against the machine' in alt diy art & craft helmets?
Which 1 of these bros seems like he has the most alt helmet?

Sorta hope I can vibe out with some Diet Coke bottles on my head and start a relevant alt trend that sweeps thru the Eastern world, and eventually hits the west by storm (like digipets/tamagachis).

Maybe I can put a vintage record crate on my head / some sort of box that used to transport organic bananas to a local Whole Foods.

Seems like this bro is just vibin with some concrete on his head.

Pretty mainstream bucket helmet. Has been around since the 1970s.

Standard 'pot on head' bro. Used to do this 1 when I was like 2 years old.

Entry level cardboard box over head bro. Dude needs 2 step it up.

This bro seems 'mad alt' because he is wearing an alt Palestinian scarf (aka keffiyeh). He can also use the salad bowl to serve a healthy dinner later in the day.

What are you going to craft your diy alt helmet out of?
Should we go to a local dumpster to try to find helmet building materials?
Are diy helmets 'too freegan' for ur brand?
Should I start an alt helmet making shop instead of trying to start a buzzband / tshirt line?
Will the Western world 'steal' this trend, much like they stole the keffiyeh?
What is happening in Egypt?
Why is there so much trouble in the Arab world?
R u worried about World War III against the Arab world, or do u think we will win because we have better technology [via real helmets]?

Photos by thefacehunter

My feet are the contraptions
that take me places
Sure there are cars, trains, subways, airplanes, boats
segways, hovercrafts, spaceships, teleportation terminals

But my feet are attached to me
and will be a part of me
until I get diabetes
and they will be amputated

My feet need 2 know what time it is
My feet need 2 know when to take me
to places that I need 2 go

Many people put their watch on their wrists
but I need a watch somewhere else
Looking down at my shoes
because I am nervous and humble
It's time
It's time 2 be me

elevating my personal brand
with watches on my shoes
h8 u shoelaces
could never tie u anyways

This is a new trend.
This is a new me
It is time 2 know where 2 go
It is time 2 let my feet
be in touch
with 'time'
a construct of society
but also something natural
Do u realize
we're floating in space
on a rock that is spinning
around a ball of fire
Even though we have years, months, days, hours, minutes, seconds
We will never really know
what time is time

My timeliness is my move

It's time to move forward
in2 the future

R u gonna put a watch / clock on ur shoes?

Should I put an indiglo on my shoes, or will I look 'poor'?

Oh,
the places yall will go...
via Doctor SeussBro

Is this trend 'gonna take over' the shoe industry?
Do yall know how to tell time on an analog clock, or do u rely on digital clocks?
Do u use a watch or do u just check the time on your smart phone / cell phone /iPad?

Photo by Stil in Berlin

Hey yall. Just looking at kewl new trends. I just saw this little critter that is chilling on a bro's jacket, but it also might be integrated as a scarf. I feel like I could use a little creature who is an extension of me. A lot of people buy dogs, cats, fish, and other mainstream house pets, but I need something that is 'high fashion' not just some mutt that I have a personal connection to. Always searching for new and exciting ways to differentiate my personal brand, taking it to the next level.

Maybe I should get one of these mysterious creatures and sew him on to my Am Appy hoodie. Feel like that might differentiate me from 'every other tween wearing an Am Appy hoodie.'

Does n e 1 know what kind of animal this is? Rlly need to buy one.
a) fox
b) tiger
c) lemur
d) sugar glider
e) wombat
f) muskrat
g) rat
f) wildabeast
g) ferret
h) golden retriever
i) kitten
j) ice panda
k) an animal collective
l) mini-deer
m) Tasmanian Devil
n) armadillo
o) komodo dragon
p) manatee
q) beluga whale
r) Brooklyn sea otter
s) aardvark
t) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Really want to jump on the 'animal fur' trend while there is a backlash against it.

Does n e 1 know how I can create one of these critter accessories? Do I just go to PETCO and purchase a pet to hollow out?

Is it 'mean' to get a real animal and murder it/ hollow it out?
do animals really have rights, or is there no difference between the meat industry and the exotic fur industry?
Is there really such thing as animal cruelty?

R u allowed to pretend that your critter is a puppet, and have it talk to people about relevant issues?
Have u ever worn 'fur'?
Have u ever killed an animal?
R u good at zoology: the study of going on zoo field trips when ur a kid?

Photo by Yvan Rodic

I am the ice cream bro
with ice cream on my shoulders
hungry 4 sweet, frozen, creamy treats

I am not the man
driving a truck thru the poor part of town
selling ice treats to children
I am the modern ice cream man.

Still want to be as approachable as the mainstream ice cream man
might attach a boombox to my wardrobe
and play inviting music
letting people know
the Ice Cream Bro is coming

Ice cream. So many flavors.

Kinda represents how many different personal brands u can have.
Every1 has a different favourite flavor of ice cream.
No1 wants to be 'plain vanilla.'

So weird how u can make a metaphor about n e 1 with ice cream.
White people = vanilla
Black People = Rocky Road
AZNs = Ramen
Mexicans = bean and cheese
Gheys = rainbow sherbert
Jews = Latke ice cream
_________ = ____________

some people like ice cream
some people like froyo
also known as frozen yogurt

wonder if when i grow past my ice cream phase
then get 'health conscious'
if I will talk myself into being Froyo Bro

Might even start a self-serve frozen yogurt chain

encouraging people
to get crazy serving sizes
with even crazier topping selections

capn crunch
molten chocolate
oreos
reese's pb cups
fresh fruit
weird azn shit
human hair

might just buy a trusted froyo franchise like Pink Berry

might just buy a Baskin Robbins franchise

So many flaves

so many choices
so many ppl in this world

maybe ice cream
is what will set us free
cuz it represents
how we are all our unique flavor
unless ur into froyo
then u can just pour ur own cup
and add ur own custom toppings

Laters,
Ice Cream Bro

Will ice cream shoulder pads be the hot new summer look?
What is more authentic: ice cream or frozen yogurt?
What toppings do u get on ur froyo?

Photo by the sartorialist

It seems like this has been the coldest winter ever, probably due to global warming. I feel like sometimes gloves / mittens / Zissou hats / pea coats / hoodies aren't always enough to keep u warm. As the Earth continues to grow colder, we will need to evolve and find functionally designed apparel that will legitimately keep us warm.

The handwarming sleeve is a perfectly designed tube meant to use your own body heat to keep you warm. The zone inside of the tube is a therapeutic sauna which can provide ur hands with the warmth they need to keep your fingers from turning to ice and breaking off ur hand / arm.

It perfectly insulates ur hands, and cultivates ur own warmth to keep u warm. Sometimes, life will require you to momentarily utilize the touch of ur hands / finger tips to accomplish tasks in cold weather.

Seems like even hunting bros who kill animals have utilized this technology.

I think that the handwarming sleeve brings the aesthetic of the fanny pack, but has more legitimate functionality.

Sorta also reminds me of ppl who keep their hands in the pockets of their hoodies in order to look humble / stay warm.

Can't believe NFL Quarterbacks have been into this hand warming trend for 20-30 years. Maybe Brett Favre is an innovator / thought leader on the field, and as a fashionista.

Quarterbacks require maximum hand warmth, even in cold climates. They must have a soft touch on the ball in order to throw tight spirals to their receivers. This may or may not be a metaphor 4 life.

Rlly need to order a hand warming sleeve from a sporting goods store / alternative retailer.

Free ur hands 2 do great things. The soft touch of ur fingertips will guide u 2 do great things.

Are handwarming sleeves the future of alt winter fashion?
Have u ever needed the touch of ur finger tips during the winter to finish some sort of outdoor installation / art project?
Are gloves / mittens 'mainstream'?
R u ready 4 summer?

Photo by Yvan Rodic

I was reading relevant fashion blogs, and I couldn't help but notice an exciting new trend all around the world. So many people around the world are starting 2 wear shin guards, protective devices over their shins. Maybe it means we r at war, and we need 2 be protected, but maybe it is a tribute 2 the past.

Maybe we are trying to reconnect with our youth. I have read that soccer is the #1 youth sport in America. So many kids on so many fields all across the world, playing the 'beautiful game.' Youth sports are important in facilitating a 'normalized' American childhood.

Guess maybe we just want to get back to our 'field of dreams', running around in our bright uniform, eating oranges at halftime, running under a tunnel of arms created by our parents, getting to eat a snack after the game. All of these meaningful moments culminate with 'going out for a pizza party at the end of the season.'

Felt relieved that my parents weren't poor, and could always bring a 'sweet ass snack' for the team after the soccer game. Felt bad for poor kids whose parents didn't 'man up' and drop some dollars on a premium snack.

The quality of snack ur parents brought on your assigned day was generally indicative of their parenting philosophy, and how far u would get in life.

Not sure if I would be down with gogurt as a snack. Seems sorta gimmicky and 'half assed.'

Just want to go back in time, b4 my parents were divorced. Back when my dad still thought it was 'worth it' 2 stay with our family since we were young. Back we he was an 'assistant coach' 4 my soccer team.

Want to jam an orange wedge in my mouth, pretend it is a mouth guard, hope it protects me as I grow up and encounter new challenges in our world.

Shin guards, here 2 protect me. Here 2 take my brand to the next level.

So many different styles. just want to find some that match my personal brand. Hope Am Appy starts to manufacture them soon.

Maybe I will make my own conceptual shin guards, made from the bark of a sacred tree. WWACD (what would AnCo do?) // WWFFD (what would fleet foxes do?)

Sorta worried that the shin guard trend might be manufactured viral marketing for the upcoming World Cup in South Africa, sorta like Die Antwoord.

I miss the green grass
I miss the competition
I miss bonding with other kids, b4 I felt 'different' than all of them
I miss the bond between coach and player, father and son
I miss my 'soccer mom.'

Soccer Mom. She could do anything. Raise 2-4 kids with minimal emotional or physical support from our father. Get us to school, keep our grades up, and keep us 'enriched' with youth sports and miscellaneous community educational activities. I will not become you, mom. Not only because I sorta h8 what u represent, but also bc I am not strong enough 2 do what u did.

This trend is 4 u, mom and dad. I know u think I have grown up, and I just wear things arbitrarily in order to 'look cool.' Not this time. This means something to me. These shin guards r 4 u.

Will u start wearing shin guards?
Will shin guards be the next authentic alt trend?
Did u play youth sports?
Did ur parents prevent u from playing youth sports when they didn't have enough time?
Who will win the World Cup?
Is 'going out 4 a pizza party' as a kid one of the formative 'bro chill session experiences' in ur life?

Were the Ninja Turtles a marketing tool for the pizza industry?

Photos via Easy Fashion

I was just looking at some fashion blogs about a fashion week somewhere in some fashionable city, and I noticed this new 'fashion trend' that is possibly authentic, but also possibly just trying to be some sort of zany internet fashion meme. I sorta feel like huge heads are the future of fashion. Like, this is supposed to represent some sort of drive for knowledge + information until our heads swell up.  Also might be possible that we are evolving into 'super humans', and our heads must expand so we can embed computers in our body.

I am very inspired by the fashion of Walter Van Beirendonck, who will probably be known better as 'the bro who designed huge hats + heads.'

Sorta wish I could go to a fashion show that was clearly attempting to be 'all zany.'

I feel like the designer bro must be inspired by the cranial structure of aliens.

Must be some sort of commentary on how our information economy + concept of 'me' has evolved so much. Like swollen heads.  Maybe commentary on tween culture, and the concept of 'me'/'ego.'

Wonder if I could be a horse jockey if I had a 'huge head' of if that would weigh down my horse.   There are probably downsides to our evolution into huge-headed creatures.

I feel like the era of earbuds is over. We are headed back towards 'huge ass' headphones/earmuffs/head accessories.  Also might carry a lil machine gun in our jogging pants.

Kinda cold. Have 2 keep ears warm (possibly jam to a new mp3 downloaded from the formerly alt hypingmachine mp3 search engine).

Need some huge head accessories + a belt that is 'fly.'

(honestly might buy some of these progressive cargo pants if Old Navy releases a similar style in 2k15.)

Honestly confused. Do yall think this is a trend or some sort of commentary on society/humanity/evolution/information?

Hope I can commission one of these huge head+hat combo deals in a 'lil douchebag faux military hat.'

What kinda hat would u get?
Zissou red beanie?
Barry Bonds post-steroids enlarged head + baseball helmet?

Feeling hopeless. Untrendy. Might just 'melt my face' like the broad from the Knife. (This may or may not be a global warming metaphor.)

Will probably just 'stick my head in the oven' and see if I can implement the new melty face trend/off myself.

Photo by facehunter

I've been alive for a while. I have lived through so many different trend cycles and seasonal weather changes. It is always fascinating to see how our global meteorological climate can impact trends. As the weather rides waves of chill winds to winter temperatures, humans must find a way to 'stay warm', but more importantly 'stay in touch with relevant fashion trends.' Just because it is mad cold, doesn't mean u can sacrifice your alternative look.

It seems like the tube scarf is 'gaining steam' about becoming a solid option for alternative ppl who want to wear a scarf, but don't want to seem 'entry-level' about it. The bro in the picture really seems to be protecting himself from the elements, while looking 'like an interesting human being, based on the clothes he is wearing.'  I feel like the modern brand of the scarf is associated with a Jonas Brother/tween or something. Authentic humans must find a new form/function for the scarf, and you can see the flexibility of the tube scarf gives humans ultimate protection.

You can even bring the tube scarf over year head, so you don't have to look like boring ppl who wear 'lil beanies.'

Feel like I have read somewhere that humans want 'options'/flexibility, which is why Coca Cola makes multiple products.

Tube scarves seem to be an interesting, flexible look for both men and women. Like a trend that only 'bohemian consumers' could/would implement. Like some sort of high level band that only people who 'get' the alt scene would even know about.

Scarves are rlly dangerous territory though. I really want to stay warm, but I don't want to seem like I am 'trying too hard.'  Feel like suburban tweens wear scarves to 'look older'/seem like they are 'from the city.'

I will never forget the altstreamification of the keffiyeh/Palestinian scarf. Feel like I watched this trend evolve, much like a proud father watches his son grow into an NFL player.

Sort of wish I could be a mainstreamer/attempted-'hipster' who prematurely wore a scarf on a day when the temperature ranged from 59 degrees to 75 degrees.

Miss the era of girls learning how 2 crochet, then making ppl scarves as gifts.

Always start to 'giggle'/'scoff' whenever I see some1 of any age wearing a keffiyeh, the 'scarlet letter' of an entryleveler.

It is important to note that 'scarves' are simple items for manufacturers to make + get 'huge margins.' Really hope Target doesn't start manufacturing them.

Worried that an entry leveler will wear his Am Appy hoodie, a palestinian scarf, and a tube scarf all on the same day in 2k13.

I am happy that the tube scarf has given me the opportunity to strengthen my personal brand, and distance myself from winter accessory trends that have outlasted their 'useful livez.'

What do u use to keep ur neck protected from the elements?
Does a scarf fit in with ur brand?

Previous winter clothing coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/02/are-palestinian-scarves-still-authentically-alt.html

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/the-pea-coat-mafia.html

Do yall think Old Navy fleeces will eventually 'come back' as an alt trend in a post-post-ironic way?

Photos via daylife// meme via trenddelacreme

All humans have belongings, and in order to transport our belongings, we must have some sort of compartment to carry these personal items with us. We must create portable space that is both fashionable and functional. This is why men and women carry 'purses', also known as bags-o-stuff. There is apparently a market for 'high end' purses, but many regular humans 'create their own purses.'

It seems like this new trend of FOIL BALLOON PURSES might take over all other D.I.Y.-themed purses in the next 1-3 years.  I hope that this will 'officially kill off' girls who buy/make purses that look like they were hand-crafted in 'the Third World.'

I have always been kinda baffled by foil balloons. They have sorta been branded as 'a shitty complement' to cheap flowers. Like u stopped at a grocery store, bought some flowers and a foil balloon, then went to give a gift to some1 you don't really love and doesn't understand why a foil balloon would be 'hella insulting.' Like a grandmother, a kid under the age of 10, or possibly a tweenage girlfriend who 'carried around her foil balloon proudly on Valentine's Day.'

Honestly would only buy a foil balloon for a 'baby'

a tween who I wanted to 'feel up' at the mall

or possibly a relative who was about to die.

I am truly amazed by the foil balloon's transition into this year's hottest fashion item.

There are just so many possibilities to create something beautiful with foil balloons. I really feel like I can take my brand 2 the next level with a 'Dora the Explorer' foil balloon purse.

Should I make a purse for my next 'GNO' [via girls nite out]?

Really need 2 be an 'early adopter' to this trend. Worried that mainstreamers will catch on to this within 2 months, kinda like how they 'stole shutter shades'/wayfarers/every good band.

I am excited about making my own foil balloon purse this weekend. I am not sure which balloon I should buy. I am not sure which foil balloon will be 'me' enough. I might actually start a 'foil balloon purse conversion' business in order to capitalize on this new trend.

I think that I will be very 'now'/'culturally relevant' if I make a balloon out of Balloon Boy's balloon. Really need to check ebay to see if I can buy a little bit of the original foil balloon print. Sounds like a challenge straight out of 'The Runway Project' television show.

We must realize that we are living in a post-balloonboy world. It's kinda weird how violated we feel after a lil family from Colorado violated our trust. For 3 hours, we thought we were watching a lil boy abt to die, but then we figured out his parents had jammed him in a box in the attic.

Creating a foil-balloon purse will mean that you are willing to let the world know that you are a victim. You are not afraid to display your pain and use fashion as an effective way to comment on the modern human condition. You will create a foil balloon purse. You will give your world a window to your pain. Your personal brand will be both 'fashionable' and 'vulnerable.'  You will be in touch with humanity.

Will u create a foil balloon purse ASAP?
How long until we see 'relevant partie pix' with foil balloon purses?
Will foil balloon purses be the next shuttershades/rcrd hats/child predator glasses?
Are foil balloons/FBPurses 'fucking stupid'?
Do u think that they will 'hold up'?
R u going to throw down an 'arts and crafts' session this weekend?
R u 'pissed' at balloon boy? Do u h8 'the media'?

Seems like this photo was taken at some sort of 'cultural arts festival' where they were creating a series of foil balloon purses.

Please feel free to send your foil balloon purse pix to Carleser [at] gmail.com (no uggos plz)

Feeling so 'violated' in the post-balloonboy world. Not sure who 2 trust any more. Not sure what's 'real' and what is 'bullshit.' Alone.

Hey yall,
As u know, I am a huge fan of self-expression [via arts and crafts]. It's like you can take any object and convert it into another more meaningful object, and the transformation process will give you an outlet 4 all of ur thoughts, hopes, and desires. For those of u who didn't go to a school that had arts+crafts activities, u can basically take household items and turn them into functional objects that look kewl.

I was browsing some of the world's most relevant fashion & trend blogs, and saw some kewl arts + crafts that I thought I should 'shine a spotlight on.' If u ever have any interesting craft ideas, please leave them in the comments. I honestly believe that we will only be able to find happiness through self-expression, through some method of design. But if ur not properly educated in 'design', then all u can really do is 'arts and crafts.'

Art + Craft #1: Showing ur faith in The Lord by Creating a safety pin t-shirt for him (a Justice t-shirt)

Photo via thefacehunter

This bro clearly 'loves the Lord', and wanted to make a shirt that was a tribute to our Lord Saviour Jesus Christ. Not every1 is able to mass produce shirts with designs on them, so sometimes you need to take whatever you have around the house and 'make it work.' Sometimes I will squirt toothpaste on my t-shirts in kewl lil designs instead of actually buying a t-shirt that has stuff on it 4ever.

I might make this shirt as an 'activity' with the community Bible Study group that I lead called Teens4Christ.

Art+Craft #2: Rat Tail Extension Kid

Many of yall are familiar with 'rat tails', but u probably didn't know that you could have them on any part of ur body. All u really need to do is create a rat-tail extension kit with safety pins and human hair. This is similar to black women who wear 'weaves', except this is for alternative people. It seems like if you put a rat tail in an 'unexpected place', u will get a better reaction. I have a feeling that 'safety pins' might be one of the most important fashion accessories of the next decade.

Kinda turned on by this, like I would want a girl to use a safety pin + rat tail extension as a clitoris piercing.

Art+Craft #3: A shirt with ur own face on it

Photo via YvanRodic

I am not sure if this is a look for every1, particularly if you are ugly. It seems like ugly people might want to wear a shirt with some1 else's face on it, but that also might make the person seem 'uglier.' This shirt is bold, letting the world know that u are truly 'all about U.' I feel like u have 2 be artistic 2 execute this shirt, or else u will end up looking like a crappy doodle.

'This bro is me.' - u, 2009

Art+Craft #4: Building a body suit out of duct tape and aluminum foil

Photo via drunkenstepfather

I feel like this look might only work for 'curvy ass bitches.' It seems like some1 else might have to make it for you by wrapping your body in duct tape. U might only be able to wear it once.

Art+Craft #5: Metaphorically Lynching urself

I have always wanted to show the world how much pain I have inside of myself, but without 'actually killing myself.' It seems like I don't actually want to kill myself, because that wouldn't really be noticed by enough people, unless I went on 'some sort of death rampage.' I feel like I might build an art+craft where I 'lynch myself', and make it seem like I am dead in public. As if I am Jesus Christ or something, and I was murdered by tons of people who don't 'get' me.

I love 'living' 2 much 2 kill myself, but I really just want the world 2 know that they don't 'get' me. I want them 2 know that they are slowly killing me.

/////
Just want 2 create shit
& express who I truly am
2 the world around me
looking at me
analyzing me
interpreting me
'u don't fckng know me'
'u don't fckng get me'
'I nvr thought I'd die alone.'

do u know n e fun arts+crafts activities?

Photo via GirlsofEbay

I am sure that 80% of the world is familiar with the FUPA, an acronym for 'Fat Upper Pussie Area.' It seems like after the mom jeans resurgence of 2k7, FUPAs were really just 'inevitable.' As females continue to grow older, their metabolism will slow down, and they will begin to gain weight. Usually women gain weight in their ass and thighs first. (Men are more likely 2 get 'bellies'.) It seems like this FUPA trend might be 'metabolically driven', as opposed to just a 'viral marketing gimmick.'

It seems like FUPAs are some sort of rare phenomenon, possibly caused by the form fitting structure of most altPants. Maybe as u gain wait, the tightness of ur pants 'shape' where fat is distributed. Seems like it might be a 'major health risk' or something. Wish that Parsons/Pratt would do some sort of 'study' about that, instead of just generating 'designers' who will work for mainstream brands. Seems like FUPAs might be 'trendy' but also 'unhealth.'

From what I understand, they sell 'butt pads' for women with no asses. I wonder if some1 will market FUPA pads, for skinny girls with a Skinny_Upper_Pussie_Area. I might add this as a product to iamcarles.com, in order to capitalize on tween females who are still 'rain thin' but want that extra 'padding' to achieve an older aesthetic.

(Did yall used 2 stuff ur bras when u felt like u had no titties?)

Feel confused about FUPAs, mom jeans, skinny jeans, and how health + fashion can counteract one another. Might buy velco orthopedic shoes for old people to have a post-ironic prsnl brand, but more importantly, to give feet/arc/ankles proper support, ensuring the load bearing capabilities of my footwear are optimized.

Do yall think that FUPAs will 'catch on' in the next decade?
Will alternative women gain weight in the next decade?

Will altwomen have to 'retire' leggings in 2k10?
Will the current alt generation 'gain weight' and how will it alter the future of fashion?
Do u have any health tips 4 'staying thin' besides 'shopping at Holes Foods and 'doing lines of blow'?
R u a bro with a FUPA?

This post is part of a continuing summer fashion series in which Carles from HIPSTER RUNOFF searches for the most authentic way 2 express urself [via fashion] during the hot summer months.

Photo via GorillaVsBear

I was looking at the popular alternative mp3 blog, GorillavsBears, and I noticed that the GorillaVsBro took some pictures of popular conceptual musician Panda Bear, aka stage name "Noah Lennox", from the band Animal Collective. I saw that he was wearing a shirt that looked pretty kewl. The shirt featured several wolves 'chilling.' I thought it might be a t-shirt for a band that was named 'Wolves' or 'Wolf Collective' or something, but it was actually just a shirt promoting the generic wolf brand. Wolves for Wolves' Sake.

I feel like it might be a modern take on the famous 'child predator glasses' trend. It is a look that says 'I am a bro who values different things than u. I live in a different world than u, and I am not searching for the same things in life than u r. I am part of some sort of collective of animals who don't care about material things' and so forth, and so on... Sort of like how child predators 'just wanna get off with kidz', WolfBros 'just want to be a part of nature' or something like that. Roaming the earth.

It's weird how we are in this Am Appy era of solids + stripes, but it might be time to 'break free' from this minimal branding, and start wearing t-shirts with various nouns on them, represented via images (no words).

Srsly. The more I see Wolf t-shirts, the more it 'makes sense.'

Seems like 'wolf' might be my power animal [via the Fighting Clubs]

Wolf Altbro #1

Wolf Altbro #2?

Wolves roam together in packs, sort of like how I envision a 'perfect scene' where every1 gets along and there is no 'drama'

Wolves can also be 'lone bros' who 'just chill by themselves' and are 'happy' with a life of solitude

Trying to stay on top of trends. I have been seeing a lot of people with jeans that are 'slashed the fuck up.' I think that this might be fashionable. I think that some people do this because they think that it 'legitimately makes them look cool', but other people do it because it is 'fucking ridiculous. I feel like it might be reasonable to slash your jeans at the knees, especially if you are like some sort of laborer who tiles floors, or does stuff that involves a lot of bending at the knee joints.

I think I feel worse when I see a bro/tween girl in 'slashed up jeans' than when I see one in 'excessively faded' jeans. Not sure if I'd rather have fade lines/slashes/ or just general regions of faded slashes.

Sort of want to cut slits at the tip of my pant legs so that the jeans fit around my boots [via crombie mainstreamers]. Might buy jeans that are 'too big' and I will wear down the heel-area of my jeans, making me look more rugged. It's always funnie 2 imagine lil azn kids in Asian island nations/Mexico 'fading' jeans and 'cutting them' to make them seem more rugged.

I hope they are being paid as much as Am Appy workers. Wish that they could file for a transfer or something. I think poor ppl in America 'take America for granted.' From what I understand, most poor Americans spend the majority of their welfare checks in the Electronics & Entertainment section of Wal Mart.

Not sure how to feel about pants that are 'slashed the fuck up', though. I'm not sure if you can redeem those pants at Buffalo Exchange/ur local thrift store without losing a lot of value. (My friend who graduated from Fashion Skewl is in charge of 'buybacks' at Buff Ex.)

Photo via lookbook

Damn. Kinda feel like making a joke about a 'weed wacker' or something 'lame' like that.

This has been a post about not helping ur dad do yard work, and staying inside on your computer, feeling angry that the lawnmower is so loud and u can't hear the music that ur trying 2 listen 2. This has also been a post about underpaid laborers.

Sorta miss stepdad jeans/standup comedian jeans / mom jeans.

Photo via thecobrasnake

Yall. Saw some bro wearing a VHS tape around his neck, kinda like a necklace. I remember when bros used 2 wear record hats, other alts wore cassette tape necklaces, and some other bro wore a postcard necklace. I wonder what movie he has around his neck. Probs something like The Goonies or Getting Even With Dad or something zany like Pete & Pete Bros. Would be pretty authentic if he had something like 'a snuff film' around his neck, or maybe some sort of vulnerable childhood film that u could show 2 people that ur in a relationship with 2 make them 'feel closer' 2 u.

Need 2 convert more dated technology into 'fashionable items.' Might start wearing a USB drive around my neck, like I work in the IT industry.

Feel weird when people 'watch movies' and 'love them.' Sort of feel sad when I see bins of DVDs for $2 each, especially when I used to think that 'the movie experience was valuable.' Wonder where the magic of the movies went? Wonder what the carbon footprint of 'the movie industry' is. Probably almost as bad as driving a car or something.

I might just paint a mural of every single alt/authentic/quirky-core movie character who has ever been in some sort of relevant indie film / 'cult classic' / dark comedy.

Who would yall put on ur 'dream mural' of every relevant character?
Would all of the Tenenbaums fit on ur mural?
Would the 'fucking stupid Mexi' from Napoleon Dynamite 'make the cut'?
Would any African Americans be on ur mural?
Should I get a tattoo that says 'CriterionCollecBro'?
Are yall excited about Summer Movies? [via Will Smith/Johnathan Depp / Nick Cage]

Photo via JustJared

Yall. I was at Coachella this weekend, and I got to see some of my favourite kewl celebs who are 'into music' and know how to 'not wear makeup so that no1 recognizes them.' It must be interesting and fun to be a celebrity. U kinda just wanna chill out in public and have people look @u and recognize u and want 2 be u but u also 'want people 2 leave u alone' so that u can experience the same stuff that 'normal people' do, like music festivals and wearing ur chillest sun wardrobe.

Saw popular 'indie movie starlet' Chloe Sevigny at Coachellers. She was wearing sandals, but she had on white socks underneath. I think it's the thing where some1 who is a 'trendsetter' does something that is a 'fashion sin' and 'make it seem kinda kewl.' Not sure if this means I have to buy sandals and socks to wear underneath them. Might just be a trend for entrylevel tween females with lookbooks.

Apparently sandals are really bad for your hygiene, and usually don't even provide u with proper support. Should probably buy some 'shoes for old people' or something.

Does n e 1 know if Chloe Sevigny is still authentic? Kinda hope she does some more romantic comedies and 'goes into the mainstream' but I'm not sure if mainstream girls would 'want to look like her' or if mainstream bros would 'think she is hella hot, yo.'

sorta wish this was a blog post about Sandra Bullock in her prime. (miss u Keanu)

'don't stop this bus' -the movie SPEED

XX BONUS CLUELESS ALT MEME XX

Yall I feel Clueless
walking around coachy
barefoot
hope I don't get a disease
I think that's actually how
kids in Africa transmit a lot of diseases

Does n e 1 else miss when images of consumerism and rich white people were 'simple.'

Miss when we didn't have to 'resent white ppl' s0 hard.

Chloe Sevigny

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Entrepreneur

Chloe Sevigny is an alternative actress and model. She is famous for 'being alt hot' and giving Vincent Gallo a BJ on camera.

Lists: it girls, Models, designer

Read more>>>>

Photo by Cobrasnake

Yall. I was looking at a high-end fashion website, and noticed a group of broads standing around with shin guards on. It kinda reminded me of the season that I played youth soccer until I made my mom stop taking me to the games cuz I didn't 'give a shit' about things like organized sports. Worst time of my life.

But yeah...Not sure if these shin guards are gonna be necessary because of some sort of 'ground creature' that will start 2 bite our shins. Or maybe since there will be more homeless people on the sidewalks [via the economy], we have to protect ourselves from them grabbing at our legs.

Gotta go to a local soccer shop in suburbia 2 get some shin guards. Might also pick up a 'David Beckham jersey.'

Which type of shin guard is more authentic?
The kind that wraps around ur heel?

Or the kind that is a lil 'free floater'?

Just trying to find out what would help me 'look kewler.'

Remember when indoor soccer shoes were alt?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/indoor-soccer-shoes-big-in-2k10.html

Might need 2 'get more athletic' in 2k10. Is smoking bad 4 u?

Just want a fashion forward girl who wears shin guards, or maybe just an AZN with a puppy dress [via Falcor]. :-(

[Photo by Last Nights Party]
2k10 will be a turning point for women. They will no longer be confined by fashion/design constructs, and they will redefine every article of clothing in order to create a more authentic method of expressing who they are [via the clothes that they wear]. Things will begin to get more conceptual, and advertisers will move to advertise on beautiful humans after the blog-ad market dries up/internet is rationed by Barry Obama.

If there is one thing our country needs now, it is a bail out of the following economies

• the nip stickies economy
• the 'chunks of pink/purple/blue in my hair' economy
• the free-spirited piercing economy
• the electro economy
• the banger economy
• the conceptualcore economy
• the meaningfulcore economy
• the fund for transitioning entry levelers to mildly authentic bros
• the bro economy.
• The meme economy

Hopefully we make it to 2k10 without a country 'getting zany' and dropping a nuculeaure bomb on 'us.' I am looking forward to more keut women in progressive outfits that do a better job of 'showing the world what God gave them.

I am excited about the future.
I am excited about the future of fashion/design/women.

I know we're all trying to look our best throughout the entire year--ur personal brand is important. We're trying to differentiate from the mainstream pack. Winter is a time where we see the alternative population utilize the same items every year. Pea Coats, hoodies, cardigans, other alt stuff that provides warmth and covers your sleeves without compromising your personal brand. While Cosby sweaters are kinda popular, I think we're gonna see more UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS than usual this year.

Does n e 1 know if 'we' stole the concept of the ugly Christmas sweater from the mainstreamers? Don't they have parties that they invite all of their facebook friends to with 'Ugly Christmas sweater' themes?
Do yall have n e lonely aunts without kids who would be willing 2 give me some of her old clothing that I could wear/start an eBay store with?

XX BONUS IMPORTANT QUESTION XX
Is this an Ugly Christmas sweater of just an ugly sweater? Or something that M.I.A. would 'design'?

[TheCobrasnake Photography]
What are yall gonna wear this winter 2 keep warm?
Have yall heard of 'scarves'? Saw them in a maggyzine.

[Photo by GlamCanyon]

Yall. I've been seing alts wearing these sillie pants for the past couple of blog weeks, and I've been wondering what to call them. Do u think they are significant threat to skinny jeans, or are boot cut jeans about to 'come back'? Or are stepdad jeans/standup comedian jeans the future?

Even blipsters are wearing these altGenie pants, yall!

[Photo by The Arab Parrot]

So what should we call them?

• genie pants
• altGenie Pants
• Poopy McPoop Pants
• SHIT HOLDERS
• Pants Where Ur P00P can chill in for a while
• "Oops I Crapped My" Pants

I think I prefer OOPS I CRAPPED MY pants because they already have a commercial.

[Alternate Link for nonAmericanz]

What do yall think?
Will altBros really be willing to give this look a try?

Which one of these statements is true?
a) Shutter shades were made in China by the same team of designers that designed the iPhone.
b) Kanye West discovered shutter shades while in China for a 'Free Tibet' benefit concert.
c) In the year 2010, Kanye West 'came out of' the 'closet' in which 'fggts' reside bc they are 'afraid' of what 'society' might 'think of them,' especially in 'the' 'hip-hop community.'

KUTE AZN GIRLS: the world's #1 source for emerging trends?

[Photo by ReadySetGlo]

In a previous post, I mentioned how humble AZNs will be big accessories in 2k10. After seeing this lady take her wardrobe to the next level with an alternative baby, I can't help but be 110% positive that human accessories are the next 'kanye west glasses'/'shutter shades.'

Other possible human accessories:
1. Alt Bro who irons his hair
2. Mainstream girl in a heather grey AA v-neck
3. AZN who looks like he/she can't speak
4. Pouting alt bro(ad)
5. Alternative Twink who hasn't come out of the closet yet
6. Pair of girls who wear clothes designed by Perez Hilton
7. Kreepy Fat Guy Who Only Listens to bootlegged Steve Aoki DJ sets

Can u think of any more possible human accessories?

[TheBabeHunter]

Bow ties are really blowing up. I'm excited about this summer, and how shorts will be integrated into outfits. I wonder if baggy Old Navy Cargo shorts will be in style, or if men will have to convert Express Men formal pants into shorts. Would men rather wear cute shorts and argyle socks, or board shorts and Doc Marten sandals?

Time Will Tell.

Do u like it better when black people wear street wear?
Or do you prefer white women in street wear?

<3 blipsters <3

[Picture Via the BowTie Hunter

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Cute AZNs start global trends":

p0st m0re bowties

After the success of the bro in a bowtie & the AZN girl in a bow tie, there is a clear demand for bow ties in alternative markets.

Do you like that dude's bow (tie) necklace?

Does any body know if Urban Outfitters is already selling this?
Would you ever consider wearing that necklace, or would it be kind of like the equivalent wearing Kanye sunglasses when it comes 2 form & function?

<3 <3 various forms of bows that are tied which are worn by alternative people <3 <3

[Bow Tie by Gade Mode]

'Every thing cool comes from Japan,' is a statement that I've heard relatively frequently whenever a trend or fad takes the world by storm. This would include phenomena like Tamagachis, neon colors, graphic tees, pogs, the Power Rangers, or baseball. This group of Korean teens remind me of Japanese people, so can you identify any trends in this pic that will invade the Western World by 2k20?

Most trends may or may not originate at the red spots of this map

[Photo by Mark Hunter]

BUT SERIOUSLY
where do u think the best global trends originate?

Dipping individual items of clothing in unknown liquids: Big in 2k11?
I'm not sure if that Jesse McCartney look-alike intentionally dipped his cardigan into blue stuff... but just remember to take care of your clothes, yall. Don't leave them on the ground in your room, and don't just throw them on top a chair... take the time to hang them up. Accidents happen...

Maybe instead of alternative entrepreneurs starting their own 'clothing line' by screen printing statements about a particular target market's lifestyle on t-shirts, they will now only have to invest in a bucket + a colored substance. Is the 'dye running up the shirt' look more conceptually justifiable to mass alternative markets than a graphic tee?

Remember the time that Panda Bear (AKA Noah Lennox) and his wife designed some clothes?

Maybe they will move beyond 'cut shit up' process, and start using the 'dip shit in dye' technique.

[Photo via He Will Hunt Your Face]