I think these same women work at places like burrito restaurants, coffee shops that play death metal, and dive bars, so they will probably ‘get the word out’ about this kewl new movie via the words of their moufs.

I am proud of Drew Barrymore for making her directorial debut in this ‘indie film.’ I think she has dated tons of indie bros like the Mac Guy, Spike Jonez and Tom Greens, so I think this makes her a qualified director for the indie aesthetic. If I had to put money on it, I would definitively say that this movie will be a ‘diamond in the rough’ underdog type of movie that will go on to win multiple Oscars.

Hope that it makes money, and gets tons of ‘twitter buzz’ and ‘viral mrktng.’

Seems like it has a ‘very questionable’ marketing campaign.

I feel sad that indie movies don’t have huge marketing budgets, so the stars of the film must literally ‘whore themselves out’ by performing meme-able sex acts in mainstream magazines.

Not sure if Juno Pt2 is gonna ‘bomb.’

I think that sequels are usually kinda kewl, but sometimes u can tell that the story just needed to end after part one. Some movie franchises work and make tons of money, but this is certainly an interesting experiment, since no indie movie has created a sequel. Kinda wish we could catch up with Zach Braff in Garden State Pt 2: Trapped in New Jersey. Or possible Lil Miss Sunshine Pt 2: The Muder-Suicide of Greg Kinnear, Steve Carrell, and Paul Dano. Maybe even Milk Pt 2: Harvey’s Revenge. Possibly a sequel to the Royal Tenenbaums.

Are sequels good ideas, or are they trying too hard to make money?
What sequels to independent movies would u pitch?
Should I join a roller derby league?

Previous HRO posts
Drewbarrymore is a mainstreamer who dates alts
/// Weak post about Juno by HRO circa 2k7

Spoiler Alert:
Juno’s aborted baby comes back 2 life and defeats her team in the Roller Derby Finals.

It’s kinda weird how the modern indiesphere has made personal branding so complicated. There are just so many subgenres of music, and so many ppl trying to ‘one-up’ eachother when it comes to their historical knowledge of music that we have lost touch with core values of ‘good music.’ I remember when ppl used to unite around ‘the best music in the world’ instead of getting ‘all divided’ abt it.

I remember back when branding was all about ‘peace, love, and music.’ All three values were held ‘equally’, and all were just as important as the other. Kinda reminds me of ‘Woodstock.’ From what I understand, Woodstock was ‘the first music festival ever organized’, and often recognized as ‘the most authentic music festival ever created.’

They are apparently making a ‘new movie’ about the Woodstocks called ‘Taking Woodstock’ (with my bros). I might see it, just 2 see what music festivals were like b4 they had sponsored stages and other ‘corporate bullshit.’ I feel kinda confused by the movie’s aesthetics. Seem like they are trying to break into the ‘college dorm room poster’ market.

Just watched the trailer. Apparently the movie is done by the AZN bro behind Brokeback Mountain (miss u Heathbro). Feel confused by this trailer. It seems like some sort of movie that is trying to reach mainstreamers, becoming some sort of ‘deep movie abt being a young adult during a cultural movement.’ Also probably about ‘hope’, ‘determination’ and other vague ideals related 2 ‘the human spirit.’

Feel confused about movies with this Almost Famousy aesthetic. It seems like people honor them as ‘being authentic’ but they seem ‘krappy’ 2 me. Like something you would accidentally watch on TNT on Saturday afternoon, and think ‘this was okay. I understand why old people/young people like it’, but just weird that they are considered 2 be ‘amazing.’

It’s like the people who think these movies are ‘awesome’ haven’t experienced the gimmick that is meaningfulcore music. Like they will never hear music that is ‘better’ than 60s + 70s music.

Kinda glad that the scene has evolved 2 what it is 2day. There really is more to life than ‘peace’, ‘love’, and ‘music’, and they don’t really have much 2 do with 1 another. In order to feel special, u must make 99.9% of the world feel unspecial. I am okay with the way things are 2day.

I was s00 confused…like I thought I was on the ‘fast track’ 2 ‘being rich & happy.’ However, I was ‘just another brick in the wall’ of the American economy, and I didn’t really have any ‘real skills.’ Sorta just wish I could get paid 2 ‘be myself’ and ’share my musings’ on current events (in 140 characters or less).

Just really starting to learn who I am, and how 2 ‘find happiness’ in this world. Guess maybe I should just ’surround myself with ppl who love me’ and things will ‘be alright.’ Sorta wish there was a ‘foreign man’ who lived across the street from me who could share his knowledge/cock with me. I wonder if life really is meaningful, yall. Maybe I’ll know more abt life when I ‘find a real job.’

Sad that my life may not actually be what I thought it would be. This is a movie about ’settling’ for less. Sorta like ‘a more realistic version of The Devil Wears Prada’ for the ‘type of cunt’ who would see this kind of movie.

Previous Job Coverage


http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/05/my-jobcareer-does-not-align-with-my-true-personal-brand.html

What did u major in?

I think that Michael Cera is also in a movie with the ‘ogre/twit’ from the movie ‘The School of Rock and Rolling’–a film where tweens come together to make a rocknroll band.

Not even sure if he is ‘a good fit’ for that kind of movie. Should have probably had ‘a black person’ who was a comedian, or something like that.

Feel like Michael Cera represents a woman’s desire to ’settle’ for a guy who isn’t handsome, but might be quirky, and allegedly ‘funnie’. He will do things for you like ‘make you a mix tape on an actual tape’ even though you don’t have a cassette player, and ‘bring u shitty gifts’ that u are able to consider ‘meaningful.’ Guess that might be why general bros h8 him–general bros are not willing to ‘be comfortable with who they are’ enough to find some sort of happiness with a girl who is clearly ’settling for u.’ Both parties in the relationship share mutually resentful feelings towards one another because they both feel like they are ’settling.’ Seems ‘very hard’ 2 be happie.

When girls ‘defend’ Michael Cera, what does it mean about their personal brands?
When bros ‘attack’ Michael Cera, what does it mean about their personal brands?
Is Michael Cera the next ______?
Do u really believe that Michael Cera would go out with that AZN, or would he go out with 1 of the ‘hot ass’ indie azns?
Do girls ‘just wanna ride cock’ on ‘hot bros’?
Do bros ‘just wanna stick it in wet, warm vaginas’?
Trying 2 figure out <3… might see ‘paper heart.’

I recently saw the trailer for the hit film GOOBY, and wondered if it was supposed to overshadow Spike Jonze’s new film Where the Wild Bros Are.

I think it might be trying to appeal to alternative audiences. Not sure which monster/creature movie I will support.

Who would I rather chill with?
Gooby?

Or ‘a wild thing’?

Not sure who I should chill with. Think that ‘Wild Things’ are already a timeless lifestyle brand. Like the Beatles of creatures, or something. I think that WildThingAlts might already exist.

Wouldn’t mind ‘doing it’ with this broad/sharing some milk with her.

Photo by lastnightsparty

Might listen to bangers with this WildAltBro.

Photo by thefriendattack

But Gooby seems like a bro who you could just blaze with, and chill pretty hard.

Probably could just warm up some DiGiorno/Freschetta/Tombstone pizzas, but some Ben & Jerry’s, lite up some bowls, and just ‘get fucking ripped’, then laugh all night watching episodes of The Office. U would just kinda fall asleep without even realizing it, then wake up, smoke some dank, then go to McDonalds for McGriddles, then possibly spend all day playing frisbee golf.

Not sure if I should ‘partie’ with Wild Things Bros, or just try to be a GoobyBro. Not sure ‘what my monster brand’ is.

Previous Wild Things coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/where-the-wild-things-are

Not sure how films work since I am not a film student, but I think that this film uses old French techniques that were used to make things seem very authentic. Not sure what they are called.

does n e1 else think that Vinny Gallo is ‘a genius’? Wonder what male I’d cast if I had to make a movie starring an authentic bro? Tom Hanks? Bob Downey Jr? Zach Braff? Mickey Rourke? Bruce Willis? Adrien Brody? John Heder? Mikey Cera?

Seems like he has an authentic jaw line.

Well yall… I hope that Francis Ford can live up to the high standards of his daughter Sofia. I am afraid that this is just another case of a parent riding his child’s coat tails to fame, much like Lindsay Lohan’s parents.

I condemn all parents who are trying to exploit the success and talents of their children. All I want is for every child to be given a fair shot at a normal life. This is a post about parenting

Going to watch the trailer then ‘react’

Feel like it might be one of those films that is about old people ’searching for happiness’ or something. Makes me scared to get old. Might need to make a ‘Bucket List’ or something of things I want 2 do before I ‘kick the bucket.’ Feel scared about getting old, but still having my ‘zany, snarky’ perspective on life. Hope I am a quirky old person, like the Larry David brand. Sort of wish Seinfeld was still on the air. Remember sitcoms back b4 people were into hour long dramas/crime scene bullshit / mystery shit like “Lost” / shittie comedies like THE OFFICE?

miss the past, yall.

But srsly yall… Just made this post 2 say that I h8 Woody Allen. I read on a blog that American Appy had 2 pay him $5 million dollars ($US) for using his image on one of their billboards. As a blogger who has been funded by Am Appy progressive advertisements, I feel like this is ‘fucking bull shit.’

I have done more for the Am Appy brand than Woody Allen did for having his image used on 1 of their billboards. Sort of wish Am Appy gave me $5 million in banner ads or something. Feel like Woody Allen is spoiled for not know what it means 2 have Am Appy select you as a ‘cobranding partner.’ Having Am Appy banners on ur webspace is a privilege, not a right.

But then again Woody Allen was 1 of the first ppl to ‘buy an AZN.’

Then I saw the trailer. I think it has a lot of elements that draw me in2 it.

• Guy with beard and glasses
• Quirky conversation
• sillie situations
• moments where it looks like some1 is ‘breaking free’ from society’s norms
• Meaningful moments (sometimes with a bunch of people laughing)
• some sort of folk/indie ballad in the background
• It is made by focus features
• couple with shitty car in a modern world
• animated meaningful drawings that are probably metaphorical
• scene where people are ‘moving’ on one of those things in the airport
• directed by an old guy who gets to ‘make love’ to Kate Winslett
• cartoony drawn font
• actors who create ‘caricatures’ bc they don’t really ‘know how 2 act’/it has become a popular tool in the modern ‘indie’ genre
• has a bunch of people who are in ‘comedies’ trying 2 be taken seriously [via Jim Carrey].
• Remember when Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels were in Dumb And Dumber, but then they decided 2 stop making money and get serious?

I feel like these are some critical elements that draw me into films, cuz they are sort of like a mashup of Nappy Dynamite, Juno, Lil Miss Sunshine, Gigantic, and 500 Days of Summer.  Hopefully the themes that are portrayed in this movie don’t isolate tweens and teens, who don’t want 2 go 2 the movies to see a movie ‘about some pregnant bitch.’  Probably would be boring 2 them, ever since the text message was invented.

I feel pretty intrigued by the guy from The Office’s (John Krasinski’s) personal brand. I feel like he is sort of like Zach Braff 2.0. I think he is just trying to be ‘authentic’ but not make anything that will ‘pigeon-hole’ him quite like ZBraff’s masterpiece Garden State.  Think he will probably just be on TV for a long time, and make some krappie movies, and his ceiling is probably co-starring in a Julia Roberts/Sandra Bullock/Anne Hathaway movie.

He seems like he’s just here to be on the Earth to say ‘hey whats up. I’m just a chill bro. A little bit funnie, a lil bit meaningful. Always willing to look into the camera and make a face that tells u I am in a meaningful, zany, absurd situation bc of my boss, The 40 year old virgin.’

I feel weird finding out that Maya Rudolph is married to P.T. Anderson. Not sure if P.T. films are more authentic than Wes [Anderson] films. I think that There Will Be Blood / Boogie Nights / Punch Drunk Love are better than Tenenbaums / Rushmore /etc.

Wonder if he advised his wife against doing this ‘krappie film.’

Have yall seen n e good quirky-core indie movies lately with a meaningful theme

Feel worried about Sean Penn… Not sure if he will find a soulmate, or if he is even looking for 1. I feel sort of jealous that he has been able to cum with so many kute/famous women over the years, but I can’t help but think that maybe he should have settled down with 1 of them.

I recently read that he is dating Natalie ‘Garden State’ Portman. I wonder if she tells him about freakfolk buzzbands, or if she gave him a pre-loaded iPod shuffle with The Shins on it. I wonder if she thinks that she is ‘a better actress’ by dating him.

There was that broad named Robin Wright Penn. I think she was in the popular fufu-core movie The Princess Bride. I think people really ‘like’ that movie or something. Not sure what it means about them. I think she might have been his soulmate, but he’d rather cum on women a lot.

He also dated some super model named Petra Nemcova. It seems intense to have to actually date a super model. Wonder if they are ’smart’ and ‘good conversationalists.’ Wonder if u can just do a google image search instead of dating 1.

Feel jealous that he dated JEWEL in her prime. I remember when ppl were like ‘is Jewel gonna be bigger than Sheryl Crow?’ and then Sheryl Crow won, I think. [via all I wanna do is have some fun]

Wonder if Bono is ‘bi’.

Wonder if he thought about ‘being ghey’ with James Franco during the filming of the ghey-propaganda film ‘Milk on Me.’

Should have had a meaningful 3some with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.

Maybe he should have just invested in Dakota Fanning growing up into a ‘hot lil piece of tween ass.’ I wish every actor was forced to be in a movie where they play ‘a retarded’ person.

If u ask me, he should have just stayed with Madonna. They seem like a very natural fit. Were probably soulmates.

I feel like he might have been the husband who was ’sort of ashamed’ of his wife, and ‘laughed at her job/art/craft.’ Then he would ‘make her feel bad’ and ‘less natural’ whenever they had 2 go out.

Wonder how Madonna’s life would have gone if she stayed with Seanny Penny. I wonder if her sound would have ‘kept changing.’ He might have made her retire, bc she was ‘acting like an idiot’ or something. Wonder if he would have let her adopt kidz from

This is a paragraph where I write like I actually ‘know’ Sean Penn, pretending I am friends with this famous bro:
Yall…Sean is such a gifted actor. He has had a hard life, but a special one. I wish him nothing but the best in finding the true love that he deserves. They say that gifted actors are troubled men, but that doesn’t mean troubled people aren’t worth loving. Sean’s a great actor, and I wish him nothing but the best, on and off the silver screen!

tru <3

Is it ‘alt’ to go to the movies to see mainstream summer blockbusters? Feel like people who ‘go to the movies’ and ‘build their weekly schedules around television shows’ make me sad, because they represent how people don’t have any thing 2 do, so we just have 2 waste time watching things 2 keep us from thinking about how sad we all are on the inside. Sort of prefer ‘wasting time on the internet’ because we are all trying to get vulnerable and ’show the world who we are.’

It makes me feel sad when people outsource their personal brands to ‘fictional tales.’ Like when bros invest in storm trooper costumes, or when teens ‘get pregnant’ just because the popular movie Juno did it. I wish we could all be individuals, instead of ‘feeling pressured to see a kewl movie’ because every1 is talking about it. Sort of reminds me of JokerAlts.

Not even sure if Star Trek is ‘good.’ I just remember it was a television show or something, then they cancelled it for Frasier or 2 Guys A Girl and 1 Cup of Pizza.

Should I see that movie about Wolverines and X-people? Feel out of touch with society. Sort of wish I could build a time machine, and see Jurassic Park / Independence Day /Garden State / Where the Wild Bros Are for the first time again. Sort of dreading ‘being a cool dad’ but having to ’sell out’ and take my kids 2 see ’shitty movies’ to feel like they are ‘normal.’ Might only allow my kid to watch DVDs from the Criterion Collection.

XX BONUS NAPPY DYNAMITE SIGHTING XX

Does n e 1 know what ever happened to the Napoleon Dynamite bro? I think he found a way 2 clone himself or something. Think they will probably use the ‘clone gimmick’ in Napoleon Dynamite Pt 2: Pedro’s Revenege [via Swine Flu {sub-Via Mexis}].