Video: Dirty Projectors – Stillness is the Move

Analysis: I feel pressured to blog about this because they are apparently ‘relevant’ even though I don’t really ‘get’ why. Feel like I don’t ‘trust’ people who ‘ooze praise’ for the Dirty Projecties. I am not sure what this video is ‘trying to be.’ Think it is trying to be conceptual/artsy, but then also trying to be ‘normal.’ Probably like trying to trick mainstreamers into thinking that the Dirty Projector is ‘the next Feist.’ Feel like this video ‘looks worse than Bat for Lashes’ in terms of ‘forced conceptuality.’

I feel like the girls in the Dirty Projectors are ‘high level altbaguettes’ who u have a ‘very strong personal brand’ in your local scene. Ur not really sure why they are ‘desired’ or ‘respected’, but then you find out that they are ‘in some crappy band’ and their roles within the band are ‘questionable’. like you ‘went to a show where one of them just played the tambourine’ or something. You and your friends ’share their myspace page’ as a ‘very funny inside joke’ because you think their songs/pictures/listed_influences are ‘very funnie/terrible.’ Then the next thing u know, they are ‘being blogged about+praised for ‘amazing pop sensibilities” and u feel like u ‘might as well off urself.’

Sort of just want to go to a Dirty Projjies show just to ‘hear this song’ and watch people ‘overtly acknowledge’ that this is ‘the single’ by ‘doing slinky dances’ to this song.

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Video: Wavves – No Hope Kids

Analysis: This video was made from ‘meaningful footage’ as a filmmaker bro followed Wavves across his European tour. Wonder if it was sort of like ‘Almost Famous’ with an indie musician. Not sure if there was a scoop. From what I have read, Wavves is ’shatted upon’ by other artists in his genre. Think that they think he is ‘faking his gimmick’ or something, while they ‘actually live the lifestyle.’ Think that this video is ’sweet’ because they do things like ’smoke bowls of marijuana.’ Hope that Wavves’ brand is still ‘marketable’ after this video/his ‘meltdown.’

Another great thing about this video is that it really captures the essence of ‘going to a concert in your local venue’ and feeling like the other members of the audience ’seriously crawled up from the sewer’ to ‘mosh around.’ Feels weird to go to ’sewer people’ shows, but also sort of ‘authentic.’

Are yall ‘going 2 get a summer Wavves haircut’?

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Video: Coconut Records – Any Fun

Analysis: It is important to note that ‘Chloe Sevigny is in this video’, thereby making this video 250% ‘more bloggable.’ It is overall a ‘krappy video.’ Think they have ‘old cameras’ and filmed ‘normal people’ doing ‘boring stuff’ while attempting to ‘make it look beautiful.’ Not sure if Chloe Sevigny is ’still hot.’ She might have to transition her personal brand into ‘being an elegant elder alt’ soon.

Feel like Jason Schwartzman could ‘make anything’ and it would ‘look kewl’ because he was in ‘one of the most important alt movies’ of all time.

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Video: MSTRKRFT – Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend)

Analysis: I never listend to MSTRKRFT’s latest album ‘Fist of God’ because I assumed that it was ‘all banger’ or something ‘thick and unlistenable.’ But then I saw them perform this song on Letterman, and thought it was ‘pretty good.’ Feel like I like it in the same way that I ‘enjoy a remix’ but this is ‘the original version.’ That statement possibly ‘does not make sense to 38% of readers’ who are not students of the remix economy. Think that the lyrics are ‘possibly terrible’ but still ‘redeeming’ in a ’simple way.’

I enjoy this video, because it is about a Mexi family who owns a bodega. A group of white bros come in, and 1 bro is ‘meaningfully attracted’ to the hot daughter cashier. Think it is supposed to give minorities hope that they too can be courted by an uppermiddle class alt guy who is ‘ironically’ buying alcohol at ur bodega since they ’serve minors’ and also ’serve all night.’ The lazy mexi father ‘falls asleep’ and when he wakes up, ‘verbally abuses’ his daughter for letting the bros ‘run wild’ while she ‘chases alt white cock.’ Not sure if she will get a college education.

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Video: All Leather – I Don’t Hate Fags, God Does

Analysis: Think this video is sort of supposed to ‘go viral’ some how. It is depicting Jesus ‘Last Supper’ except with dark, demented, rave-culture-like elements. It is supposed to ’shock you.’ When I saw it ‘I kinda chuckled’, and fast fowarded around. Saw a ‘bunny’ and also ’some people fucking.’ Then thought about ‘the kind of people who actually like that music.’ Feels weird to think that people ‘made’ that music. Ultimately, I would just say that this product is for ‘weird faggots’ like something that ‘Adam Lambert would think is cool’ or something.

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Video: Sonic Youth – Sacred Trickster

Analysis: This is a video about ‘female cunts who want to be in a band’, I think. I think it is supposed to be a straightforward metaphor about ‘dressing up’ to seem famous/relevant/indie/authentic, but possibly ‘being hollow’ and ‘constructed by consumer choices.’ Seems straightforward. Not sure about Sonic Youth. Think they were ‘good’ back in the 80s/90s or something, but wonder if they are ‘a 1 trick pony.’

Think I went through a phase of ‘listening to Sonic Youth’ but think it was back when I was ‘trying too hard to love alt music.’ They are possibly ‘just okay’ but ultimately a product that GenXers should probably ‘authentically enjoy.’ Don’t know much about ‘music’ so they are possibly ‘very influencial’ but think I am going to start ’saying that I don’t think Sonic Youth is very good’ in conversations just to have a ‘cutting edge’ opinion. Not sure if the song in this video is ‘even any good.’

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Have yall seen n e [HIGHLY BLGGBLE] Music videos lately?

• bro on piano (much like the Fray, Coldplay, Something Corporate)
• Electronic Bro twisting knobs and playing mysterious synthesizers (much like Animal Collective, Passion Pit, Metro Station)
• African American lead singer (much like the Kanye Wests, NERD, TV on the Radio, Bloc Party)
• Forgettable drummer bro who I can arbitrarily decide how much 2 like (much like every band)
• Chorus of ethnic women backup singing (much like the David Matthews Band, the Supremes, the Arcade Fires, Mariah Carey, and other notable artists)
• ‘Multi instrumentalist’ in the background, not sure what he does/why he is there (much like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Cowbell band skit meme, the rapture)

I think that this band might be some ‘huge’ megaband from England or something. I think that there has been a shakeup in ‘the latenight talkshow’ scene, and they are doing everything they can to ‘get mad ratings.’ Not sure if they still ‘get ratings’ when they aggregate youtube views + hulu views.

I’m glad that MSTRKRFT changed their ‘band layout.’  (they still might need a traditional guitar bro, and a traditional bass player bro)   I used to think MSTRKRFT was 2 bros, and I think that we saw in their previous late night performance that the ‘2 DJ bros’ model tanked.

Feel like it is better to just ‘adhere to the traditional standard’ of ‘looking like a band’ instead of trying to show the world that ur an independent spirit.  That’s what the Collected Animals did when they went on Letterman.  Feel like they probably ‘lost tons of followers on twitter’ or whatever sort of equivalent ‘loss of fans’ metaphor u could make.

Ultimately, we’re all just trying 2 sell records. It’s just easier to be a traditional band, and have band member playing traditional instruments that people can recognize. This is why bands follow the ‘Beatles model’ to sell the most records [via U2, coldplay, kings of leon, the killers, the Black Eyed peas, etc.].

Not sure if people really know what bands like Justice/AnCo are ‘actually playing’ when they twist knobs.  Feel excited about the future of bands.  Think ’shit is really gonna get innovative.’ Wonder if people are really ‘ready’ for our ‘norms’ 2 get changed.

Still feeling ‘confused’ about seeing an electro bro playing a grand piano.

[MP3]
Metric – Help I’m Alive (The Twelves Remix)

Grade: 5.88 out of 10 runoffs
Review: I remember how I always thought that the MSTRKRFT remix of Metric’s “Monster Hospital” was better than ‘regular Metric.’ Haven’t heard the original version of this song, but I might avoid it 4ever. I think that Metric has a new album out. Not even sure if this is a ‘review.’ Just posting some [HIGHLY BLOGGABLE] electro. Feel like this is a song that I will ‘enjoy’ for the next several years.

I think this is my list of favourite Broken Social Scene sub-bands:
1. The Feists
2. The Kevin Drews
3. Metric
4. Stars

Remember when Canada first invaded indie rock?
Wonder if The Twelves are the most underrated ‘electro act’ on the planet right now. Feel like they might be a better Brazilian band than CSS, but maybe not as marketable. Not sure. Hope the Brazilian economy is okay. Saw a movie about that place called ‘City of God’ and made me want 2 stay in America 4ever.

Myspaces
http://www.myspace.com/metric
http://www.myspace.com/thetwelves

Remember when ‘remixes’ didn’t even really ‘exist’ yet and there were only a few ‘good ones’?

miss u

Just saw this bro front row at a MSTRKRFT show wearing a MSTRKRFT mask.
Kinda reminded me of the past. One time some lil altbro wore a mask of theirs, and then some time when an authentic bro wore a non-golden mask to prove that he was their biggest fan.

Still trying to figure out if it is ‘kewl’ to wear a band’s t-shirt to their concert/show. Feel like it was something that entry-levels do, but I think I might start making my own t-shirt that proves that I am a more authentic fan than every1 else.

For example, I might wear a shirt to a Panda Bear concert that says ‘We’re bros who are comfy in nautica.’ Or might wear a shirt to a MSTRKRFT concert that says ‘I listened to the one bro in ur band when he was in Death From Above 1979.’ Or might wear a shirt to a Metallica concert that says ‘h8 napster, yall!’ Or maybe will wear a shirt to a Coldplay concert that says ‘I used 2 rule the world Gwyneth Apple Yellow.’

Does n e 1 remember that song ‘Romantic Rights’ by DFA1979? Was music more authentic back then? Do u think the MSTRKRFT bro should have stayed in that band

Does n e 1 know the difference between DFA1979 and DFA Records?

Kinda wonder if it is more difficult to make a MSTRKRFT mask or a Daft Punk hemlet. Might go to a design school/technical college.
Need 2 make more arts + crafts to prove that I am a high level fan of bands that I ‘love.’ Need 2 do more 2 set myself apart from all of the ‘mainstream losers’ who go to see bands just because they think it makes them cooler and they have nothing better 2 do.

I was kinda pumped to see MSTRKRFT on Jimmy Kimmel Live, but then they sort of just focused on the rapper who raps over the song. Barely even saw the MSTRKRFT bros. Feel like I wasted my night since I stayed in just 2 watch it. The video probably isn’t even worth watching, u just kinda get 2 see a mediocre rap performance while the rapper ‘checks his phone’ several times.

The black rapper guy named N.O.R.E. just tried 2 steal all of the attention cuz he kept twittering from his phone during the performance. Thought that was kinda rude/’trying too hard’ to connect with fans. As I’ve said before, it’s getting ‘kinda annoying’ to discover the lengths certain artists, celebrities, and politicians will go to ‘create coverage for themselves’ by doing something that seems ‘innovative’ but is actually an ‘uninspired and poorly executed gimmick that involves some sort of social technology.’

I wish people would start to realize that twitter is the same thing as ‘real life.’ It’s not a big deal when a celebrity signs up for twitter and then says ’sillie stuff.’ We’re all human, and we’re all twittering at all times, whether we know it or not. Just getting kinda tired of ‘omg, can’t believe _____ said ______ on twitter coverage.’

Remember that time Justice was on Jimmy Kimmel and the had all of those zany impersonators? Wonder which 1 was ‘trying too hard’ 2 be a meme.This performance totes changed late nite performances by electro artists 4ever.

Kinda wish more electro bands were on late night shows, but I guess all they really do is ’stand behind a laptop’ and bounce a little bit while twisting some knobs. Not rlly compelling TV.

Music Video: Frankmusik – Better off as Two

This is a music video about ‘being in love’ with some1 and convincing them that u r better off as 2. In the video, u get 2 see Frankmusik with his zany hair getting his dance on. His music has some pretty serious feelings/emotions in it, so I think it appeals to Europeans more since they ‘take emotions more seriously’ and ‘explore them.’ Americans are afraid 2 get vulnerable.

Music Video: MSTRKRFT – Bounce feat. N.O.R.E & Isis

I watched this video on mute and didn’t really hear the song, but I think a casual observer would think that this is a 2nd rate rap video. MSTRKRFT are trying 2 brand themselves or something, and I think that this is inspired by some sort of generic mob crime druglord internet ponzi scheme, kinda like ‘Goodfellas’ meets ‘Smoking Aces.’

I read that the MSTRKRFT album leaked. Is it ‘any good’? I have only really listened to remixes by them. miss u ‘bangers’. Would u chill with MSTRKRFT bros?

Music Video: Company of Thieves – “Oscar Wilde”
////////RUSHMORE ALERT////WES ANDERSON ALERT/////

This is probably the first and last time I will listen to this band. But they have a music video that ‘rips off’ Rushmore, and makes it meme-able. I can’t tell if the music is ‘good’ or ‘relevant’ or not, but I just know that I am ‘alternative’, therefore, this music video ‘appeals 2 me’ and should ‘make me smile.’ I guess now that I think about it, maybe it has always been a fantasy of mine to ‘cum with’ Max Fisher in Rushmore, so I think now that I see a female alt dressed as him, it kinda meets my altSexual needs. Do yall ever fantasize about indie movie characters? Kinda wish I got that girl in Juno preggers [via Michael Cera 'cumming'].

Music Video: The Fall Out Boys – Sugar, We’re Going Down

I think this band called the Fall Out Boys will change the way that we listen to music for the next 20 years. They have completely redefined the post-Blink182 era, and this music video reaches out to tweens who feel like ‘an ugly bro with antlers and bad teeth.’ It’s a music video about hope. Think they’re probably like ‘the next Nickelback meets Beck meets Deathcab’ or something like that. Hope MTV doesn’t find out about them.

Music Video: Sebastien Tellier – Roche

This is a music video by the zany French guy who released his album through American Apparel stores. I wonder if everything in this video is from Am Appy. I think that the video is supposed to feel ’sexie’ and help people who want so badly 2 believe that there is truth that love is real. Do yall wanna study abroad and make love to a hairy French man on the beach? In the video he rides a horse on a girl’s curves, and it kind of makes me yearn 2 ‘be with/inside’ of a beautiful woman. Kinda like that scene at the beginning of ‘I am Lost in Translating to AZNs’ with ScarJo.

Have yall seen n e bloggable music videos lately?
Are yall getting tired of music videos? Can yall remember the last time u watched a music video in it’s entirety? Just want 2 stay relevant. Just want to blog about bloggable bands.

My murder would be a 2 year plan. I would become best friends with a bro, becoming ABFEAEs (AltBrosForEverAndEver). We would bond about music, clash during debates about fiscal policy/which Radiohead album is the best 1 ever, and go through the usual ups and downs of an altBro relationship. 1 Day, I would push my Soon2BeMurdered Bro ‘too far’ and get him ‘too fucked up’ on Sparks/pills/PBR/Bud Light Lime/Southern Comfort/LSD/Herbroin/Meth/etc. I would take him to a major music festival, wearing the mask of our favourite band, the MasterCrafts. I would make sure he wears an popular AA hoodie so that no1 can ‘distinguish him from the crowd.’

Would lead him in2 the center of the crowd/moshpit and ‘end his lyfe’ [via strangling+suffocation with AA white hoodie drawstring. The ppl around him would leave his dead body there to rot for the next 5 days of the music festival. Eventually the festival would end, and only his dust-covered body would remain. If the authorities could use DNA to eventually identify him, then they would contact me 2 see when was the last time I saw him. I would claim that he ‘wandered off because he took too much PCP/huffed too much computer dust cleaner. He started getting really into drugs after the new Animal Collective album leaked.’

Beware of your best altbros.

but srsly… if u were gonna kill 1 of ur friends in a modern alternative context, how would u do it?

/// A Perfect Alternative Crime/Murder

XX BONUS MSTRKRFT COVERAGE XX

If I ever become a famous DJ, I will always wear a shirt that proves I am aware of the God Fathers of electro/dance/bloghouse who came b4 me.

DeRosnay&
Augé&
MacaulyCulkinInPartyMonster&
Jeff Buckley’s Amphibious Ghost

What would yalls shirt say?

[Sneaker shoe Via Craftzine]

Maybe I’ll just be a zany maze guy. It will represent how I am ‘lost’ and ‘trying 2 find my way in the universe.’

Or I guess I can just grow a stache and wear a ‘Beatles wig’ and be a MSTRKRFT (masktercrafts).

Guess I’ll just have to stick with Jeffrey Dahmer dressed as Justice unless yall can think of some1 better.

[via the google images database of funnie pix]

At the 4:20 mark in the video, the MSTRKRFT bros start talking about remixes, and go pretty in depth into their remixable criteria manifesto.

Do you enjoy MSTRKRFT Remixes? I’ve read a few HRO comments about songs or the way people look that say “I think this would be better if MSTRKRFT remixed it.” Do you buy into the theory that MSTRKRFT can fix any thing?

I’ve never been particularly into their originals, but I think they are probably pretty socially relevant in terms of ‘being a 2 man electro act that was a pioneer in learning how to capture the hearts of Generation Y clubgoers.’ When it comes to modern indie music, I think they might be one of the band/producers most responsible for ‘Americanizing’ the current state of electro-club-dance stuff.

Whenever I hear a MSTRKRFT songs, I end up somewhere within this range of conclusions:
BAD CONCLUSION: “Why do people like MSTRKRFT so much?”
OKAY CONCLUSION: “I don’t ‘get’ this, but it’s probably really good if I knew a lot about the history of electronic music.”
GOOD CONCLUSION: “This is pretty good.”

How to you feel about MSTRKRFT’s body of remix work. Do u wish they stuck to remixing lesser-known bands like Metric or New Young Pony Club? Or do you like this new phase where they are remixing Usher, Jesse McCartney, and who knows who else within the next 2 years? As alternative markets continue to transition into mainstream markets, MSTRKRFT could continue to be a critical intermediary between both worlds.

If some1 could remix your life, who would it be?

[MP3]
Usher – Love In This Club (MSTRKRFT Remix) [Link Removed Due to Copyright Violations]
Metric Monster Hospital (MSTRKRFT Remix)

Stream multiple MSTRKRFT RMXs

Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/mstrkrft

xx BONUS CONSUMER SURVEY xx

Is the MSTRKRFT shoe the best product ever created by a band, musician, or general alternative celebrity?