Apparently the famous African American rapper ‘Kanye West’ interrupted some little white girl (Taylor Swift) when she won a prize at a fake awards show which celebrates mainstream music videos (hosted by the Music Television Channel ). From what I understand, the concept/goal of an Awards Show hosted by a television networks is to ‘create content’, where ’something that gets the whole world talking’ can happen since you are bringing together some of the world’s most famous/volatile people. Viewers tune in, expecting to ’see the unexpected’ and sometime the network manages to ‘create’ bloggable/reflectable moments. Ultimately, the brand of the tv network becomes ‘more relevant’ based upon how much content they can produce.

From what I have read, Kanye West walked on stage to interrupt her acceptance speech, making it clear that Beyonce Knowles had one of the best music videos in the history of art + video + media.  It seemed like she reacted as most white women react when a black man approaches them, since she metaphorically ‘clenched on to her purse tighter than ever before’ [via black man passing u on the streets].

I disagree with Kanye West’s message (but wholeheartedly approve of his actions)–Beyonce’s video is nothing special. It seems like it is just African American women showing off their figures and ‘getting they dance on’ for the world. I am bad at ‘valuing dance’ as a legitimate artform because I feel like if I wanted to ’see dance’, I would go to a ‘titty bar’ to see some ‘live, nude breasts shaking’ and bodies contorting in a sexual fashion, directly simulating the act of sex. The video seems like it was just a marketing gimmick, attempting to create a ‘dance craze’ and also possibly some sort of feminist propaganda anthem, which accidentally reinforced the concept of ‘marriage’ as a gateway to a perfect life.

Since Kanye West is a ‘cool black person’, Taylor Swift probably thought he was going to do something to make her ’seem cooler’, but then he ‘took a shit’ on her perceived sense of self within the entertainment industry.

It seems like ‘American citizens’ are ‘deeply disturbed’ by Kanye West’s actions, and can take one of the following viewpoints on his behavior:

• He was right, but u have 2 pretend it is real cuz she’s a white lil girl who is taking showbiz seriously. U have no right to ruin this 4 her.
• Kanye West is a bully.
• Kanye West is ‘a fucking retard’/'jack ass.’
• Kanye West is African American/slur word for African-American which would inherently explain his actions.
• ‘Aww… Poor thing.’
• ‘Team Taylor! Let’s boycott buying the records of black ppl.’
• ‘I think I will vlog about this to get youtube hits.’
• Taylor Swift ‘deserved her moment.’  She did not need 2 have her reality harassed by this “negroid.”
• I am ‘above’ reacting to this event.
• I ‘understand’ what Kanye West has gone through in life, but I am a human, so I will still ‘hold him accountable’ 4 being a ‘meanie head.’
• Taylor Swift represents everything that is wrong with show business and the arts. We must respect Kanye West and his neverending quest to express his true self to the real world. He is genuinely trying to transcend fame, pop culture, and the arts. No one will ever understand him. He is truly the most artistic person in the world, and when he goes on tour with Lady Gaga, we will finally experience art that is on the same level as the greats like Andy Warhol, Michael Jackson, and Michael Jordan.

I do not believe that Taylor Swift ‘deserved to have her moment.’ It doesn’t matter how young she is, and we do not need to enable her sick perspective on the world. While she has a sweet exterior, possibly ‘more talent’ than the traditional Disney-mafia star, and an ability to ‘handle’ everything ‘with grace’, we have to understand that we are harming these manufactured pop stars by continuing to let them exist. Many of them will have identity crises where they turn to substance abuse + sexual experimentation when their whole world comes crashing down around them.

When I look into their eyes, I srsly feel like there is ‘evil’ inside of these people.

It seems like it is beneficial for these Disney stars to ‘believe in the Lord’, because believing that a higher power ‘gifted  them’ with this ‘opportunity’ to touch the lives’ of millions of tweens [via the power of music] would be the only way for some one to take their absurd job so seriously. It seems important to remember that these tween stars are possibly ‘mentally ill’ in ways that make them highly functional within the entertainment world.  I feel like I will finally ‘like’ the Jonas Brothers when they have a reality show when they are in their mid-30s, similar to Corey Feldman and Corey Haim’s show “The Two Coreys”, a show about two child stars who still have a very stupid perspective on the world (and are recovering addicts).

I was alarmed when Beyonce bypassed her own acceptance speech and ‘called Taylor back on stage’ so that she could ‘complete her speech’, and Taylor Swift failed to realize that it ‘was still a fake award’ + failed to realize that ’she was just involved in a meme that could have been taken to the next level by indirectly calling Kanye West the n-word.’  Instead, she ‘carried on’ with her generic speech/theme [via thank yall], as if ‘everything was made right’ and ‘honor’ was restored to the Awards show/the Entertainment hierarchy.  It honestly seems like there is ’something mentally wrong with her’ to ‘fail to recognize the magnitude of the moment she is in.’  I do not like this moment, because people in the ‘Entertainment World’ actually think they are ‘real people’ with ‘real feelings’ in this clip.

My fave part of this video is at 1:29 when Perez Hilton ‘puts his hand over his heart, as if he is watching ‘a truly meaningful moment.’

While many people believe that Kanye didn’t deserve to ‘ruin her moment’, they are neglecting to remember how much they ‘h88888 pop culture’ and how it’s ’suuuch a guilty please to consume gossip blogs and the E! network.’  Do u remember when it was trendy/insightful to have a cutting edge opinion on ‘what a terrible person Paris Hilton is’ and link it to ‘the deterioration of the moral fabric of our society’? It seems like this Kanyegate 3.0 moment will always be remembered as when tweens learned that it was ‘okay’ to treat celebrity entertainment like it was ‘real news’ instead of gradually learning sports+entertainment are more fun to consume than ‘important news’ over the course of their lives’.

It seems like if ppl really wanted to ’stop caring about the practice of turning the actions of rich+famous people into coverable news’, they would have embraced Kanye ‘taking a shit on this white girl.’

If I had black skin, I would be insanely ashamed of Beyonce Knowles for ‘giving Taylor Swift’ her spotlight. The truth is, if you want to sell albums in the modern world, you must appeal to the white tween. All apologies issued in thie ‘controversy’ are meant to appease the white tween. You cannot cross the white tweens (note: minority tweens enjoy pretending to be white, as well). If you ‘piss them off’, they will not buy your mp3 on iTunes, or use their Best Buy gift certificate to purchase your album. They will not go to your concert. They will tweet about you, but it will not be positive. It seems like some1 should create an acronym with the same dark connotations that “W.A.S.P” has, except for White.Tweens.

As a society, we must come together and root for Kanye West to continue to create content & headlines. While he is genuinely pursuing greatness, his narcissistic qualities will surely lead to his premature death. This is more than about needing ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’ to create conflict and news. We need a stream of content that we can continually reflect upon. This is why we miss Michael Jackson so much, we had the opportunity to have fun watching him fall apart together. It was legitimately a bullying process that rallied all humans together. It didn’t matter how smart or how dumb u were, there was something inherently funny about making fun of Michael Jackson’s racial, sexual, and social identity. A type of humor that transcended educational levels and class divisions.

If you analyze Taylor Swift’s ‘award winning video,’ you will realize that it is a ‘fucking sham.’ I think the gimmick/theme of the song, is supposed to be some sort of plea to a boy to like her because she has a beautiful+interesting+creative soul instead of the generic ‘hot ass cheerleader type.’

It seems like this video is supposed to appeal to ‘tweens who feel left out’/like they don’t ‘fit in.’ It is a song about sexual desire and obsession over one perfect boy, declaring that he ‘belongs to you.’ You are entitled to him. Feel good about who you are, because if he really got 2 know u, he would love u 4 all of the right reasons. Concepts like these lead to teenage obesity since kids are told that some1 will like them for ‘what’s inside.’ They neglect to take care of their health, and eventually become mopey college students who sit around in a ‘dreamworld’ waiting on their modern Prince Charmbro.

I prefer Beyonce’s  artsy booty video to Taylor Swift’s high school puff piece.

Do u sometimes like 2 get drunk just 2 ’see what happens’? [via alcoholism]

We must applaud Kanye for silencing the sweet,  yet poisonous essence of Taylor Swift.
Kanye West is a simple, raw human being. When it comes to ‘love and relationships’, he is not interested in creating some sort of meaningful quirky bullshit. He is a man who wants ass and titties. He is an honest man.

We must accept Kanye West as the true heir to the King of Pop–not because of his talent or his artistic interpretation of the world, but because of his ability to create content. He can rapidly produce albums as well as public incidents that are indicative of a deeply troubled human being. He transcends ‘right and wrong’ because he truly ‘acts from the heart/soul’ in a world where most people are too smart/deliberate/PR-managed to act upon their emotions. We must encourage him, embrace him, watch him accomplish great things, but most importantly, watch him truly start to ‘panic’ when he reaches his middle ages and the fear of mortality will drive him to seek more attention than ever.

Realistically, Kanye West seems to be the next ‘big celebrity’ who might die ‘prematurely’ in some sort of tragic/misunderstood event. As a society, we must rise up to create+seize the opportunity to experience the deaths of numerous famous people. We are ‘regular people’ but when some1 ‘famous dies’, regular people finally get a chance to publicly reflect about the gift of life.

We have learned in 2009, that there is no greater news story to react to than the death of some1. Many of these death victims are not even very ‘relevant’ to Generation Y. But the process of digital mourning is too ‘fun’ to let some1 die without talking about them. When some1 ‘famous’ dies, u get to share the meme with your friends, and ponder the person’s realistic effect/impact on your life. It seems to be fun when you ‘don’t give a shit’ that some1 famous died, but it is also ‘equally enthralling’ to experience the death of some1 who ‘was a big part of celebrity culture’ (thereby directly impacting ur life).

A lot of people say that twitter is a ‘useless and boring display of humanity.’ These people don’t understand the true value of twitter–twitter is an instant window into the lives’ of people. A chance to track the distractions that are filling up people’s lives’, momentarily taking over their brains. An impact significant enough to process a lil thought/meme about it. Whether it is a human, a product, a political scandal, a television show, a movie, or a celeb death, the twitter’s portal into a generalized human psyche is priceless.

We must embrace the power of this tool. We must embrace all tools that allow us to reflect/share/digitally mourn.

We are growing up, learning how to use social networks to experience life together. We are learning how to mourn, celebrate, and crucify miscellaneous celebrities. We are learning that death memes are the memes that unite us. The internet/internet meme is a coping mechanism/opportunity. While events happen in ‘reality’ our opportunity to reflect upon them in a ’sillie lil online world’ helps us to cope with how deeply rattled we are by the underlying themes of highly bloggable events.

When you say ‘I don’t give a shit’ about this KanyeVs.TaylorSwift meme, it’s like you’re turning your back on humanity. You fail to realize that these are the only moments that we can all share together. These are the moments where you feel comfortable with the ‘whole world’ reacting. Even though it is a ’sillie lil award show’, maybe everything in life is ’silly.’ Maybe it’s ’silly’ that we elect a President of the USA every 4 years. Maybe it’s sillie that we use ‘money’ 2 make our economy work. Maybe it’s ’sillie’ that we live life.

But u need 2 embrace this silliness with all of the ppl around u. We have been given the ability to analyze and interpret the world around us, and many social barriers are created by the content which you can analyze+interpret. When megamoments happen, you let your guard down, and find a lil bit of solace in knowing that ‘every1 knows about this.’ Sometimes you’ll get mad if some1 has a dumb opinion, or if some1 uneducated tries to ‘act like the have an authoritative perspective on real life.’ You need to stop being so angry/exclusive with your thoughts, and surrender them to the collective consciousness which exists on the internet. Your thought/opinion is more valuable as part of a whole which can be analyzed as ‘raw data.’

Sometimes, I wish the internet/twitter/meme distribution systems were more developed when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson’s breast-cover.

Sorta wish I had seen OJ Simpson as a trending topic during his car chase/trial.

We just want to share life with the people around us.
We just want to laugh at humor that every1 ‘gets.’
We just want the whole world to unite, kinda like how Michael Jackson used to help us unite around content, before the internet enabled every1 to go into their little niche. It seems like the internet has finally ‘helped us 2 connect’ with every1.

We just want to send a funnie picture 2 a friend.

We need to know that the leader of our country has the same values as us.

We need to use memes to ‘cope.’ We need the internet.  We need to share ourselves and the world that we see.

We must design more memes.

Make them laugh. Make them remember their youth.

Make them laugh. Tie in a meme with another meme.

Appeal to all  humor levels, letting the meme move upmarket and downmarket.

We must always take the opportunity to objectify women.

Strive for the most absurd meme possible.

The vast collection of Kanye Interruption Memes will live forever.  They are modern cave paintings, capturing the way we communicate and tell stories.

Should Kanye ‘be sorry’?  Did he dishonor himself, his brand, and the perceived ‘love’ that he had for his mother?  Did he take his brand to another level?  Is Kanye West depressed?  Will Kanye West ‘kill himself’ after his 5th South Park appearance?  Will Taylor Swift become a lesbian/star of a celeb reality show?  R u worried about tweens/the world, or are you starting to embrace the world as it is?

Kanye West has nothing to be sorry for. He did the right thing for himself. He did the right thing for the betterment of America. He did the unintentionally did the right thing for the advancement of ‘the arts.’

Kanye West made me realize why life is worth living. My life is ‘better’ when I have better content 2 share with u.

How long am I going 2 have 2 wait for another socially transcendent moment?

“They are probably one of those bands that MTV forces down ur throat even though they are pretty ghey, kinda like Tokio Hotel.”
or
“They are pokemones whose parents kicked them out of their house for have 2 many bisexual relations and being too fruity. Parents from the Mexi part of the world just don’t understand.”

What do yall think?

Previous pokemones coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/02/punks-or-pokemones.html

XX BONUS POKEMONES PARTY FOOTAGE XX
/////Are pokemones the new Entry Level Alts?

Do yall think that pokemones are more authentic than entry level alts cuz they are ‘more sexual’ and ‘just wanna experiment’ more than they want to ‘buy tween accessories’?

I sort of grew out of what MTV told me was ‘cool’
but like the Martin Lawrence King Jr.–I had a dream
A dream that one day
the mainstream perception media moguls
would realize that the alternative population was justified
for being vehement supports of ‘what we like’
That it is better than what they listen to
because the reason we like it
is more ‘organic’ than the reason that they like it.

One day we will take over
and mainstream will be alt
and alt will be mainstream
and the term ‘maltstream’ will no longer describe things like the Garden State Soundtrack

Our minds will be free of the ‘pressure’ to think about so many external factors
and bros will no longer be able to argue ‘Why can’t u just like the music because it sounds good?”
Because there will be no more external factors
Because we will all like the best music for the right reasons
The must will just sound good.

We are buzzworthy.
We are more than just a meme.
We have created an artistic space
where the mainstream can consume us.
This is every artist’s goal [via monetization].

“We’re in this together, yall.” – the Nine Inch Nails

Previous ‘highly bloggable post’
Animal Collective is a band Created by/for/on The Internet

Please note that these videos are [HIGHLY RECCD], not only because you get to see John Norris’ never-ending-quest to be a lil alt, but because you want to understand what it’s like to participate in the revolution that is a geographically-contained creative renaissance.

Note: HIGHLY RECCT VIDEOS MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE IN YOUR RSS READER
************
Un-Earthed Location #1: A small American city called “Portland, Oregon.”

Did this video almost make your head explode, too? SRSLY. I rlllly hate Portland and any other ’second tier’ cities that claim to be culturally relevant by playing up the whole ‘alternative gimmick.’ There is an excess of shitty musicians who are Starbucks/Chili’s employees in every city, so I hate when a city’s personal brand revolves around ’sounding like they really mean it when they make their shitty music/attend their shitty, awkward concerts.’

I’d say Austin, TX is pretty good example of ’shitty city who is gimmickifying it’s underwhelmingly-alternative brand’, too. Most of the music in Austin, TX is more approachable indie fodder than the Portland concept crap, so I’ll give the edge to Portland when it comes to ‘moderately alt cities that major-city-alts-want-to-move-to-bc-they-think-their-life-will-be-simple, yet-authentic,yet-still-as-alt as they feel comfortable with.’ No matter what, we all need an alt-city full of alts to feel comfortable around without the high-cost-of-living that major metropolitan areas have. Don’t you feel like you have met a lot of people who have idealized Portland and Austin as ‘heaven on alt-earth’? Like they imagine settling down with a humble-&-emotionally-connected trophy alt who is done with his/her ‘partying phase’ and ready to start buying well-designed carriages for their newborn babies (lil alts).

Common traits of overhyped 2nd rate alternative cities:

• Perception of being ‘green’
• Perception of a bustling ‘local economy’
• A high ‘basically unemployment’ rate (this figure represents people who are over 30, but still have the jobs a 16 year old would have)
• An excess of corporate and independent coffee shops
• An excess of people with too many tattoos working in independent coffee shops
• An excess of coffee shop employees playing RLLY gimmicky ‘interesting’ music in coffee shops during their shifts/playing the albums of their friend’s band who sound exactly like _______
• Overhearing the ‘future plans’ of people who work in these coffee shops to start their own business in design/food/recordstore/boutique/other alternative biz idea.
• An excess of people in bands that have shows in an excess of venues
• An otherwise stable maintream economy which allows the alternative population to work in the service industry. While this usually happens in all cities, the minorities in the service industry are replaced by these aging alts.
• Overhearing all of these people talking about stuff that was cool between 2 to 40 years ago. They basically have a 2 year delay on ‘what is currently cool’ and usually just rely on ‘liking aesthetics/bands that are from before 1985.’
• A handful of decent bands, a few imitators, and a bunch of krappie bands that have tied their identity to their home city and guilt their friends into attending their show/post a lot of myspace bulletins to impressionable local-17-year olds.
• They attempt to assert their city-wide inferiority complexes by having excessive representation when it comes to liberal activities, particularly ‘marches.’ Examples include Gay Pride Marches, Anti-Racism Marches, Marches Against ‘The War’, and general Marches Against Stuff That Exists Because of Conservative People.
• These cities have significant populations of ‘cool dads’ and ‘free spirited moms’ by choice/believe in their personal images, as opposed to the real-city versions of these parents who are simply ‘participating in a gimmick which they have no control over.’
• A lot of these cities have a major university or a well-branded liberal arts school with a progressive identity which the ‘hip side of town’ feels like they need to cater to in order to keep up sales of vegan wraps, pizza-made-from-only-organic-ingredients, and interesting t-shirts.

N e ways. Do yall like these types of cities or what? Am I wrong? Should the Mayor of Portland ’show me around the alt side of town’ and then ‘take me on a tour of their business district’?

I think a lot of cities/hip communities within a city all have some of these traits. Did I miss n e traits?

[PLEASE NOTE: I DO LIKE STARFUCKER FROM PORTLAND, BUT I WILL STOP LIKING THEM WHEN PEOPLE START CALLING THEM 'THE NEXT MGMT' AND THEIR RCRD LABEL FORCES THEM TO CHANGE THEIR NAME. ]

[PLEASE NOTE: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH AN EXISTENTIAL PHASE WHERE I LISTENED TO A LOT OF THE MICROPHONES AND HAVE DECIDED TO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM PORTLAND SERIOUSLY IN ORDER TO FORGET THE PERSON WHO I USED TO THINK I WAS IN 2KNEVER.]

[PLEASE NOTE: I H8 95% OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET FROM PORTLAND. I THINK I JUST DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK WHERE THEY LIVE IS ANY MORE/LESS INTERESTING THAN N E WHERE ELSE.]

******
Unearthed Location #2: A country called France

Can some one please explain the differences between the bands JUS-TICE and JEW-STEESE? If they are going to use an American world, I think they should say it like a proud American. “Justice” was a concept invented in America, so it doesn’t matter how.

N e ways, this video is s00 true. Those Frenchies are stealing our culture and selling it back 2 us. SOME1 NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. Our American alternative celebrities are letting us down. Also, the American government should ban foreign artists from utilizing our memes and media from the past in order to make money off their art. America should probably ally with Australia in the ElectroWar.

Journalists need to stop focusing on geographic locations, and start realizing that
we all live on the Internet. There’s no such thing as a ‘city’ n e m0re, yall. We’re all citizens of Blogville/the blogosphere/the memesphere/the information super fagway.

In conclusion, we need America to unite as a nation to create popular alternative music. Carles is doing his best to help the United States by working hard on the HIPSTER RUNOFF debut EP.

HRO is sooo mainstream. I can’t believe I still blg abt all of these mainstream bands that are alllll over MTV.

I’m just searching for authentic authenticity. :-(

Please note that these videos are [HIGHLY RECCD], not only because you get to see John Norris’ never-ending-quest to be a lil alt, but because you want to understand what it’s like to participate in the revolution that is a geographically-contained creative renaissance.

Note: HIGHLY RECCT VIDEOS MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE IN YOUR RSS READER
************
Un-Earthed Location #1: A small American city called “Portland, Oregon.”

Did this video almost make your head explode, too? SRSLY. I rlllly hate Portland and any other ’second tier’ cities that claim to be culturally relevant by playing up the whole ‘alternative gimmick.’ There is an excess of shitty musicians who are Starbucks/Chili’s employees in every city, so I hate when a city’s personal brand revolves around ’sounding like they really mean it when they make their shitty music/attend their shitty, awkward concerts.’

I’d say Austin, TX is pretty good example of ’shitty city who is gimmickifying it’s underwhelmingly-alternative brand’, too. Most of the music in Austin, TX is more approachable indie fodder than the Portland concept crap, so I’ll give the edge to Portland when it comes to ‘moderately alt cities that major-city-alts-want-to-move-to-bc-they-think-their-life-will-be-simple, yet-authentic,yet-still-as-alt as they feel comfortable with.’ No matter what, we all need an alt-city full of alts to feel comfortable around without the high-cost-of-living that major metropolitan areas have. Don’t you feel like you have met a lot of people who have idealized Portland and Austin as ‘heaven on alt-earth’? Like they imagine settling down with a humble-&-emotionally-connected trophy alt who is done with his/her ‘partying phase’ and ready to start buying well-designed carriages for their newborn babies (lil alts).

Common traits of overhyped 2nd rate alternative cities:

• Perception of being ‘green’
• Perception of a bustling ‘local economy’
• A high ‘basically unemployment’ rate (this figure represents people who are over 30, but still have the jobs a 16 year old would have)
• An excess of corporate and independent coffee shops
• An excess of people with too many tattoos working in independent coffee shops
• An excess of coffee shop employees playing RLLY gimmicky ‘interesting’ music in coffee shops during their shifts/playing the albums of their friend’s band who sound exactly like _______
• Overhearing the ‘future plans’ of people who work in these coffee shops to start their own business in design/food/recordstore/boutique/other alternative biz idea.
• An excess of people in bands that have shows in an excess of venues
• An otherwise stable maintream economy which allows the alternative population to work in the service industry. While this usually happens in all cities, the minorities in the service industry are replaced by these aging alts.
• Overhearing all of these people talking about stuff that was cool between 2 to 40 years ago. They basically have a 2 year delay on ‘what is currently cool’ and usually just rely on ‘liking aesthetics/bands that are from before 1985.’
• A handful of decent bands, a few imitators, and a bunch of krappie bands that have tied their identity to their home city and guilt their friends into attending their show/post a lot of myspace bulletins to impressionable local-17-year olds.
• They attempt to assert their city-wide inferiority complexes by having excessive representation when it comes to liberal activities, particularly ‘marches.’ Examples include Gay Pride Marches, Anti-Racism Marches, Marches Against ‘The War’, and general Marches Against Stuff That Exists Because of Conservative People.
• These cities have significant populations of ‘cool dads’ and ‘free spirited moms’ by choice/believe in their personal images, as opposed to the real-city versions of these parents who are simply ‘participating in a gimmick which they have no control over.’
• A lot of these cities have a major university or a well-branded liberal arts school with a progressive identity which the ‘hip side of town’ feels like they need to cater to in order to keep up sales of vegan wraps, pizza-made-from-only-organic-ingredients, and interesting t-shirts.

N e ways. Do yall like these types of cities or what? Am I wrong? Should the Mayor of Portland ’show me around the alt side of town’ and then ‘take me on a tour of their business district’?

I think a lot of cities/hip communities within a city all have some of these traits. Did I miss n e traits?

[PLEASE NOTE: I DO LIKE STARFUCKER FROM PORTLAND, BUT I WILL STOP LIKING THEM WHEN PEOPLE START CALLING THEM 'THE NEXT MGMT' AND THEIR RCRD LABEL FORCES THEM TO CHANGE THEIR NAME. ]

[PLEASE NOTE: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH AN EXISTENTIAL PHASE WHERE I LISTENED TO A LOT OF THE MICROPHONES AND HAVE DECIDED TO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM PORTLAND SERIOUSLY IN ORDER TO FORGET THE PERSON WHO I USED TO THINK I WAS IN 2KNEVER.]

[PLEASE NOTE: I H8 95% OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET FROM PORTLAND. I THINK I JUST DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK WHERE THEY LIVE IS ANY MORE/LESS INTERESTING THAN N E WHERE ELSE.]

******
Unearthed Location #2: A country called France

Can some one please explain the differences between the bands JUS-TICE and JEW-STEESE? If they are going to use an American world, I think they should say it like a proud American. “Justice” was a concept invented in America, so it doesn’t matter how.

N e ways, this video is s00 true. Those Frenchies are stealing our culture and selling it back 2 us. SOME1 NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. Our American alternative celebrities are letting us down. Also, the American government should ban foreign artists from utilizing our memes and media from the past in order to make money off their art. America should probably ally with Australia in the ElectroWar.

Journalists need to stop focusing on geographic locations, and start realizing that
we all live on the Internet. There’s no such thing as a ‘city’ n e m0re, yall. We’re all citizens of Blogville/the blogosphere/the memesphere/the information super fagway.

In conclusion, we need America to unite as a nation to create popular alternative music. Carles is doing his best to help the United States by working hard on the HIPSTER RUNOFF debut EP.

HRO is sooo mainstream. I can’t believe I still blg abt all of these mainstream bands that are alllll over MTV.

I’m just searching for authentic authenticity. :-(

How did NO AGE trick the world into being a critically acclaimed band? They are apparently a lofi punk band, and even had coverage with a bunch of other bands (such as Times New Viking,and Jay Reatard) on MTV.

Feel free to sample 8 seconds of this song before turning it off.

Is NO AGE even a good lofi band?

There needs to be some sort of committee that makes sure music like this stays in the suburban garages of parents whose kids dropped out of highschool before they move to NYC/LA. I just think we shouldn’t really honor genres like this, particularly when atleast 50% of the blurbability has to do with ‘how it sounds like stuff from the past, back when things were authentic.’ When band blurbs are focused on tying the sound down to an era, I think it crowds out the demand to actually appreciate the music, and can really detour people from confessing that the product isn’t very bloggable.

I’ve read that No Age is supposed to remind me of Sonic Youth. Is that true?

Here’s a video for the hilarious MTV segment about ‘the new lofi punk genre that every1 needs to hear.’

[Video May Not Be Viewable in your RSS Reader]
Do you trust John Norris as a tastemaker?
Remember when Gideon Yago tried to replace John Norris as the VJ who was ‘young, cool, and indie’, but then John Norris just got 10 makeovers in a row?

ALTERNATE NO AGE THEORY: Is No Age kind of like Health, except without any remixes to make me buy into them?

More Realistic Theory: ‘lofi punk music’ is a pyramid scheme (or inside joke) for people who honor traditional musical criticism too much.

Did u ever listen to punk?
<3 <3 Or was Taking Back Sunday as punk as you got? <3 <3

How did NO AGE trick the world into being a critically acclaimed band? They are apparently a lofi punk band, and even had coverage with a bunch of other bands (such as Times New Viking,and Jay Reatard) on MTV.

Feel free to sample 8 seconds of this song before turning it off.

Is NO AGE even a good lofi band?

There needs to be some sort of committee that makes sure music like this stays in the suburban garages of parents whose kids dropped out of highschool before they move to NYC/LA. I just think we shouldn’t really honor genres like this, particularly when atleast 50% of the blurbability has to do with ‘how it sounds like stuff from the past, back when things were authentic.’ When band blurbs are focused on tying the sound down to an era, I think it crowds out the demand to actually appreciate the music, and can really detour people from confessing that the product isn’t very bloggable.

I’ve read that No Age is supposed to remind me of Sonic Youth. Is that true?

Here’s a video for the hilarious MTV segment about ‘the new lofi punk genre that every1 needs to hear.’

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Do you trust John Norris as a tastemaker?
Remember when Gideon Yago tried to replace John Norris as the VJ who was ‘young, cool, and indie’, but then John Norris just got 10 makeovers in a row?

ALTERNATE NO AGE THEORY: Is No Age kind of like Health, except without any remixes to make me buy into them?

More Realistic Theory: ‘lofi punk music’ is a pyramid scheme (or inside joke) for people who honor traditional musical criticism too much.

Did u ever listen to punk?
<3 <3 Or was Taking Back Sunday as punk as you got? <3 <3

Jesse Camp ‘went viral’ before people even used the internet excessively. He is certainly one of the first members of the Modern Alternative Celebrity Hall Of Fame. He is more than just another Cobrasnaker. He is more than a homeless looking d-bag i na Raiders jacket who continues to engage people in convos about how ‘it sucks that the Raiders aren’t in LA anymore. That’s OUR team.’

He looks like he’s doing well. He looks like he has a Mexican love child, and probably doesn’t have any regrets about Dave Holmes’ soaring career. According to Jesse Camp’s wikpedia entry, “In late 2006, he was reportedly working at a Los Angeles-area pet supply store.” I wonder if it was PETCO or PetSmart?

Who will ever forget Jesse Camp’s single “I’ll See You Around.”

Jesse Camp: Big in 19k94?

[Partie Photo by The Cobrasnake]

I can’t believe CSS’s bass player left the band. Will they be able to re-create hits like “Let’s Make Love And Listen to Death From Above” and “Music is my Hot Hot Sex”?

Here is the funniest press release delivered in a myspace blog:

CSS announce today that bass player Ira Trevisan has left the group for personal reasons. CSS drummer Adriano will take over the bass duties, and live the band will work with a session drummer (a friend of the band) from now on. The band said “It will be feroche!”

Talking about her departure from the band Ira said “I decided to move forward and dedicate more of my time to fashion and other projects. Just a big change of priorities, as I will never stop playing music. I am also a bit worried about climate change. People should care more and do something about it. I decided to fly less. CSS will always be in my heart. They said goodbye to their bass player, but they won a new life time fan. In health and sickness, in happiness and so forth. Blah blah blah, so help us God. “

CSS’ second album will be released in the UK in July. They are back in the UK in May for a string of UK dates on the MTV Spanking New Music tour. More news on both the album and upcoming live dates to be announced soon.

Here’s a recap of the press release:
1. the bass player wants to focus on fashion + other projects
2. She is worried about climate change/ice caps melting
3. She will make fashion that cools our planet
4. She will stop supporting industries that use jet fuel
5. She does not want to go on the MTV Spanking New Music Tour and use more jet fuel.

CSS: If I saw them on the street, I’d guess that they were a group of __________.

STOP GLOBAL WARMING YALL. I MIGHT MAKE HRO’s BACKGROUND BLACK INSTEAD OF WHITE, TO SAVE ELECTRICITY.

Screen Capture from MTV.com:

“Have u heard of MTV’s artist of the week? Her name is YELLE. She seems kinda weird, but she’s French, and stuff is neon, and she has bangs, so she’s pretty cool in my book.” -Impressionable Girl in Middle America

I’m all about artists being able to SELL OUT, but how do you feel about the way ‘alternative acts’ are presented by mainstream entities to their dumb audiences?

What does UR name rhyme with?