From what I understand, Lollypally is thrown by the bro from Jane’s Addiction. He seems to be ‘very young looking’ even though he is probably 40-60 years old. I wonder why the Aerosmith bro looks like a ’saggy pirate’ but these two old bros look like ‘healthy 32 year olds’.

Photos via Stereogums

Seems like a lot of people were there 2 see ‘bro bands’, such as the Leon Kings Of.

Think these shirts mean that they are ‘down 2 fuck.’ (d2f)

Not sure if Passion Pit is a ‘bro band.’ Seems like this bro is ‘a bro’, so they have possibly ‘crossed over.’

Photograph of the guy who invented ‘Cherry Garcia’ ice cream.

Was standing in the VIP photo pit, and turned around. Saw some sweet ass underboob, and said a prayer to the Am Appy Gods 4 inventing that tube top. Has helped me see a lot of alt tit + nip slips.

‘Just chillin. Bein a fleet flox. Playing festival tunes.’

Is it still alt 2 listen 2 the song ‘A-Punk’ or is in mainstream since it is now utilized in movie trailers?

Hangin out, playin a music festival, holding ‘wacky instruments’ up 2 the microphone 2 achieve wacky effects.

Do u think that ur first festival experience is always ur most meaningful festival experience?

Matt and Kim.

Photograph of the Insane Clown Posse Slipknotting.

Feels like Woodstock when bros ‘get naked’ and ‘put mud on their cocks.’ Heard that if u use mud, u won’t get an STD, and the chance of ‘pregnancy’ is reduced by 67%.

Seems like the look of a bro who felt guilty, yet proud that he couldn’t wait in line to use a port-a-potty, so he just ‘crapped behind a bush.’

Overall had a lot of fun. I find out about a lot of new bands at music festivals. Don’t really use the internet for ’sampling/stealing’ tunes like most people. I just like to wander around public spaces, and see how people react to music in a live setting. Usually the most crowded stages are the best bands.

Is Lollypally mnstrm?
Would u rather go 2 Pitchfork Music Festival, Lolly, or a Chicago Bulls game?

Previous Music Festival Theory
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/07/do-music-festivals-help-u-connect-with-the-human-spirit.html

All music festivals I have ‘covered’
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/music-festivals

I can’t believe summer is winding down, and most of the music festivals with the most powerful brands are already over. I feel like festivals are soo consumerfied now that it’s hard to really let the world know that you are ‘a true alternative spirit.’ It seems like the only way left to let the world know that you are alternative would be by ‘being from another planet/galaxy/universe.’ Whenever I go to a music festival, I feel like I am in a ‘house of mirrors’, and all I can see are poorly executed reflections of myself whenever I look around.

I seriously wish I could be an alien from another galaxy. I feel like I would come to Earth, and utilize revolutionary technology to challenge the way that people think (become an artist). If I had seen so much of ‘the universe’, I feel like it would make my art more meaningful, since I had a very different life experience than most humans. Feel like I would really ‘get’ how ’small’ we all are, and try to create memes+art that makes us realize that we are ‘insignificant within the context of the universe.’

I really wonder if there is life on other planets, and if they have visited our Earth. I am not sure if aliens seem ‘very peaceful’ or ‘violent.’ Hopefully they are ‘chill’ and just like to listen to live music at music festivals.

I wonder what aliens look like. I wonder if they would have ‘personal brands’ or ‘universal brands’ (where every1 would look the same). Maybe they could teach us all more about life. Maybe they could teach us how 2 be happy.

I think it is critical that we establish positive relations with aliens. The ultimate goal of the human race is to build a space ship that enables us to leave Earth before Earth gets too hot/the sun blows up. We must acquire technology from the aliens in order to expedite this process. I don’t know if aliens have already made contact with the government and/or the illuminati, but we must begin thinking about our evacuation plan. We must realize that science is more important than the arts, and encourage students to learn about science and engineering.

There is no way that the human race will survive, unless we establish positive relations with the aliens, and some how convince them to ’show us how 2 build rocket ships.’ I feel worried and sad that I won’t live forever. I feel like the aliens are the key to everything. It is important that we ’show them a good time’ when we run into them at music festivals, instead of ‘being snarky’ and ‘analyzing their personal brands.’

Do yall believe that there is life somewhere out there?
Are yall worried about the human race?
How will we be able 2 live 4ever?
WTF is a ‘black hole’?
Does ’space’ make yall feel insignificant/deep? [via Carl Sagan]

In 2k10, HIPSTERRUNOFF.com will be a blog about ‘The Mission: How can we transport 6 billion people outside of our solar system before the sun blows up.’

Do u have any solid ideas for what makes a festival ‘appear 2 be’ hella ‘fun’?
Which of these gimmicks ‘makes’ a music festival better?

Should music festivals go to Home Depot to buy leaf blowers in order to make more ‘toilet paper’ shooters?

Photos via cobrasnatch

Releasing ‘beach balls’ to simulate a coastal environment?

Booking a college-themed partie DJ?

Releasing an ‘inflatable heart’ to represent ‘the human spirit’?

Having a ‘cityscape’ as ‘the backdrop’ ur music festival [via meaningful setting]?

Would ‘free weed’ make music fests better?

Have moms of kids who are at the festival host a ‘bake sale’ to make people feel younger & let moms feel like they are a part of their alternative child’s life?

Building a rollercoaster that goes over the mainstage?

Constructing a huge slip n slide for people to ‘fuck’ and ‘grind’ on?

Really just want to attend ‘the perfect music festival.’

Please share your creative ideas, and other stuff that would make a music festival seem ‘hella cool.’ Every business is struggling to survive, and business entities must get back in touch with consumers if they want to stay around forever [via govt bailout].

What makes a music festival ‘meaningful’ 2 u?
If u had millions of dollars to throw a music festival, how would yall ‘throw it down’?

Photos via bigpicture

Damn. This picture ’seriously seems like a Where’s Waldo’ 2-page spread. Can’t believe it is actually ‘temporary shelter’ for people attending some ‘huge ass’ music festival in England. Feel ‘overwhelmed’ to imagine a ‘live music experience’ with s000 many ppl. Wonder if I really want to ‘rally around music’ and ‘bask in the human spirit’ in that type of environment.

‘Jesus christ’. Seems like an event that would ‘raise enough money’ to ‘end hunger’ or something/make a ‘GDP comparison to a shitty country.’

Think the world will look like this ‘when the world ends’ and a portal to the center of the Earth opens up.

I wonder if they built an ‘Outdoor World’/'Bass Pro Shop’/'Cabela’s’/miscellaneous outdoor store nearby just to handle people who ‘needed outdoor gear’ for this sweet festival.

Can’t believe Glastonbury lets you ‘volunteer’ to get into the music festival for free. Think that u have to sort through trash/recyclable materials. Seems ‘green’, possibly like a marketing campaign.

I wonder if a company could offer their workforce non-monetary ‘compensation’ for an entire fiscal year. Like a company that ‘pays workers’ with ‘kewl bands performing’/meaningful experiences, instead of ‘having a payroll.’ Feel like there is a ‘genre of people’ who would do that, as long as you gave them a tent and a community shower, or something.

I feel inspired by seeing so many ppl ‘uniting around music’, willing to ‘chill in a tent for days’/’set up some sort of monetized shanty town.’ Feel like possibly building some sort of music festival that incorporates ‘actual slums.’

Most festivals are held in a ‘meaningful public space’ where you can also see ‘the city’s skyline in the background.’ This helps u feel ‘connected to the music’ while also ‘being reminded of the power of man/engineering/archyteckchy.’

Sorta just want to ‘feel’ the city behind me.

Being in a crowd + seeing ‘corporate America’ makes me feel like I am a part of humanity.

This is a picture of ’slums’ in Brazil. What if we had some sort of ’super authentic’ music festival in ’slums’, and ‘rented’ the homes from the people who ‘actually lived there.’ Feel like ‘every1 would win’ since rich people would get ‘an organic experience’ and ‘the poors’ would get $$$$.

Really just searching for the most authentic music experience possible, and I think that the modern music festival is ‘isolating a demographic of authentic thrillseekers.’ Sorta just mainstream + corporate now.

What ideas do yall have for the modern music festival?
Do u believe in the concept of the microfestival–charging 10 to 100 fans ~$10K per ticket to see their fave bands in an intimate, exclusive setting?
Should we ‘buy out’ a bunch of slum dwellers and turn the area into a music festival space?
Worried that I am ‘losing touch with humanity’ even though I am ‘actively seeking’ the opportunity to ‘connect’ with ‘all humans.’

It’s kinda weird what the whole ‘indie scene’ has come to. I remember back in the glory days when we didn’t have to worry about corporate bullshit, but now it’s like every1 is ‘mad selling out.’ It’s like the own beautiful art that u create can eventually ‘fuck society in the ass’ or even ‘fuck the artist in the ass.’ Feel like I might start a band with a zany/intense/sillie/post-_____ brand, and try to do more to challenge the modern independent rock landscape + make generic ppl feel ‘uncomfortable.’ Might start ‘ramming my ass’ with a microphone on stage just to get people 2 think.

Feel sad that this bro didn’t go to jail like that time Jim Morrison went to jail for ’showing his cock’ to the audience. Feel sad for the band that came on after this bro and had to sing into a ’shit-smeared microphone.’

I feel like no matter what I/we do, we won’t be able to be authentic in the modern artistic landscape. I think that the best songs of today will not win Grammy’s, but instead be utilized in commercials for widely consumed products. It’s s0 weird. Never thought the day where ‘indie music’ became ‘pop music’ would come while I was still on this Earth, but after attending 6 music festivals in the past month, I can’t help but positively assert that mainstream = alt.

XX BONUS TITTIE SIGHTING XX

Searching for meaning
In a sea of altbros
Attending a music festival
73% male population
turn around
see a pair of titties
turn around
stick my face in
motorboat city
with white wayfarers on

Feel like I missed out on a lot of meaningful experiences.

I could have beta tested new Am Appy designs with Karen O of the Ya Yea Yeas.

Photos by Chris Graham via Brooklyn Vegan

Could have seen some zany bro.

Could have made zany faces while singing meaningful Passion Pit songs

Could have made zany faces while singing meaningful AnCo songs [via Avey Tare]

Could have made scary faces while singing with King Of Leon alphabro

Are alt music festivals all going 2 have comedy now? Might watch ADULT SWIM LIVE starring Tim and Eric. I read in a blog that they direct music videos or something.

Could have sang Karaoke with my political science professor/T.A.

Could have made angry faces about TV on the Radio’s Dave Sitek about having to play to a crowd of bros even though ur a production genius

Could have talked about music industry issues & channeling ur hurt/anger into transcendent rock anthems with Trent Reznor.

Could have chilled with Kevin ‘Bisexual JokerAlt’ Barnes during a zany OfMonty set

Could have had ‘my junk’ eaten out by a tiger

Just coulda chilled with bros, sat in the sun on a blanket, listening to some sweet, sweet alternative tunes.

Might have also met a tuggle of entry-level girls who were just under-18 who u get drunk & ‘take advantage’ of.

Whenever I miss a music festival within 3000 miles of my own home, am I missing out on one of the most potentially meaningful experiences of my life?

[Photos by Chris Graham via Brooklyn Vegan]

Had a lot of fun at coachelly. Met some new bros, heard some new buzzbands (The Killers, Peter Bjorn and John, The My Bleeding Valentines, etc.). Twittered a lot about how I was feeling (hot, cold, dehydrated, headaches, hungry, happy) and what just happened (heard a song I liked, tall person in front of me, band being ‘late’ to the stage, band ’sucking’, some1 ‘doing something stupid’, etc.).

Glad that my bros and I can all twitter and experience life 2 gether.

N e ways, watched a few ‘vimeos’ Aka ‘the alt youtube.’ Saw some videos of coachella, and I’m not sure which 1 was more representative of ‘THE COACHELLA EXPERIENCE.’

Video 1: A chill ass party with bloghouse DJs, alt celebs, altbros finding themselves, and that 1 song about ‘1 day we’re gonna live in Paris’ in the background.

This video makes coachella seem like a chill ass time. Doesn’t even seem like u need to go to the festival, u just need 2 be 1 of many bros who ‘goes to a party’ at a local upscale hotel/resort, and just stands there ‘looking relevant.’ There are also a lot of ‘bad ass product placement shots.’ Think that brands are supposed to have ’strong presences’ at alternative events, and then ‘get blogged about.’ Hotties in bikinis. Keut Am Appy swim suits. Palm Trees. Ppl in sunglasses. Seems like this video might be what ‘being young, free, and chilling in the general vicinity of a music festival’ might be all about.

Video 2: Some bro with a lil peen getting tazed by Cops

This video probably represents ‘rebelling’ against the modern music festival. It sux how every aspect of festivals have a sponsor. I’m tired of seeing my favourite band play on AT&T Wireless Stage/Chili’s Stage [ via stage sponsorships ]. Tired of pissing in port-o-potties that are sponsored. Feel sad for the bro with a lil peen. Think he just wants to chill, do some salvia/acid, and watch M.I.A. and Paul McCartney perform live. I think that people got to walk around with their peens out at Woodstock. I think that festivals are supposed to be ‘a safe place for tweens’ since they are the people who ‘purchase a $200 ticket for their birthday’/'getting good grades on their report card’ [via parental reward].

Guess there’s no place in the world for old men with lil peens. But it also might be viral marketing. Just can’t be too sure these days. Honestly, I really posted this post just 2 ask ‘how big do u think that bro’s peen is when it is 100% ERECT?’

Wonder if Woodstock was even ‘that chill.’
Wish there was a way to find out what the most authentic music festival experience of all time was, then start a business where we created a ‘time machine’, and sold tickets to attend this music festival for $300-500.

Are yall going 2 any music fests this summer? Looking forward 2 anything?
Sad that this is my last year in high school… nervous.

COACHELLA OR BUST!!!

Photo via EatSkeet

[via my mom's mini van]

But yea, in 2k8, we saw a lot of new music festivals popup & a few smaller scale ones ‘try to put themselves on the map.’ I don’t think 2k9 will be a good year for festivals because of ‘the economy.’ Yall should know that when ‘the economy’ is ‘in’ the ’shitter’, there is less money to pay for ‘luxury products.’ Luxury products include:

• bands that think they ‘deserve more money to play ur festival’ because they have an inaccurate perception of ‘how big they are’
• gas money for altbros to go on a roadtrip ‘to the city’
• meaningful band t-shirts
• 3 day festival passes
• V.I.P. festival passes
• a zany wardrobe 2 wear 2 a music festival
• other items that alts use to ’stay hydrated/entertained’ at a music festival
• Starbucks Coffee

I’m just sayin, yall. There’s less money than ever, and it’s so hard 2 ‘find sponsors.’ I was trying to plan a music festival in Chicago for this week, but I couldn’t get any sponsors because of ‘the economy.’ Sux 4 me, but maybe after Obama ’saves us’, he will save the modern music festival. Not sure if ‘electro’ is gonna be as big of a draw as it was for the past 2 years. AnCo will probs be ‘the most electro’ band on most festival lineups in 2k10.

Until our economy is saved, most music festivals will occur in Australia or Asia. Coachella might be in Singapore this year, and Pitchfork Festival might be in Sydney. They just have a better market 4 ‘entertainment’ right now since Americans have 2 spend money on bread and milk.

Get used 2 it yall. Things r changing.

miss u woodstock99 [via fred durst and the korns]

What do u know about organizing music festivals?
What can we do 2 save music festivals?
Do u have any innovative business ideas besides ‘legalized altProstitution’?

I am still kinda convinced that this is a ‘think piece’/'metaphor.’

It is the intent of marketers to let younger generations know that the brand ‘gets’ them and ‘welcomes them.’ Southern Comfort is into things like headbands, sunglasses, going to festivals, reading blogs, and downloading super hip remixes.

[video may not be viewable in ur rss reader]
Fatal flaws of ’sponsoring’ the production of media which ties a brand to an alternative lifestyle

• Giving altbros who majored in film/communications the opportunity to ‘roam around a music festival’, looking for the opinion of ‘people who look/sound interesting+outgoing.’ Is this really ur brand?
• Interviewing people who ‘look+sound interesting and/or outgoing’ usually leads to douchey commentary which alienates the ‘common man’/'common alt.’ Are alts RLLY ur brand?
• Product placement shots which fail to ‘look natural’ to self-aware audiences.
• Outsourcing your brand’s image to ’some unoriginal altBro/altBroad’ who have ‘an inflated sense of ___________.’ This fails to appeal to the self-proclaimed+self-aware authentic alt audience.
• moments that are kinda zany that make u feel empty/like u never want to leave the internet again bc real life is a ‘let down’ of people who don’t understand the meme economy.
• Altbros who drew a Justice Cross on their chest with a permanent marker, then got to meet Jousteece.
• Getting to hear about what inauthentic alts value, making u feel kind ashamed about how u saw the world when indie+meaningfulcore were ‘in’, and now u r seeing the same trends/sentiments towards music with trivial electro. This makes u feel empty + meaningless.

Overall, Southern Comfort made us realize that it is important to keep the fans away from the product. If fans interact with the product, they make it seem a lil bit less special. Justice is a band from France. Kids are from America/suburbia. Sometimes when u let these two incredibly different elements interact, it makes u realize how little u have in common with n e thing that u thought u enjoyed. Life is kinda absurd. It’s just better 2 not remind ppl abt how ‘hollow’ everything is, and how ______ people who ‘actually like something’ seem.

//What are we searching 4? (think I’m just gonna start going 2 more music festivals).

n e ways… are yall gonna start drinking Southern Comfort bc they understand ur alternative lifestyle, and enjoy Justice, just like u do?
Is Southern Comfort the new Sparks?
I wonder who got paid more? P4k, Jousteece, or the videograbros? (Plz let me know if u need me 2 do n e progressive media for yall if u own a mainstream company who wants to attract the attention of GenY).

Do yall believe in recycling? Or is it the same as ‘believing in God’ to true alts? Do yall throw empty Sparks cans/PBR cans/Bottles of Grey Goose in the trash or in a recycling bin?

Sup with the Earth, yall? They say it’s gettin bad, but it feels the same 2 me. :-( :-) :-P h8 Hurricanes.

<3 Landfill Wookie Yetis <3


[Photo by Julio Enriquez]