HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photos via thecobrasnake

Is it 'alt' to go to the movies to see mainstream summer blockbusters? Feel like people who 'go to the movies' and 'build their weekly schedules around television shows' make me sad, because they represent how people don't have any thing 2 do, so we just have 2 waste time watching things 2 keep us from thinking about how sad we all are on the inside. Sort of prefer 'wasting time on the internet' because we are all trying to get vulnerable and 'show the world who we are.'

It makes me feel sad when people outsource their personal brands to 'fictional tales.' Like when bros invest in storm trooper costumes, or when teens 'get pregnant' just because the popular movie Juno did it. I wish we could all be individuals, instead of 'feeling pressured to see a kewl movie' because every1 is talking about it. Sort of reminds me of JokerAlts.

Not even sure if Star Trek is 'good.' I just remember it was a television show or something, then they cancelled it for Frasier or 2 Guys A Girl and 1 Cup of Pizza.

Should I see that movie about Wolverines and X-people? Feel out of touch with society. Sort of wish I could build a time machine, and see Jurassic Park / Independence Day /Garden State / Where the Wild Bros Are for the first time again. Sort of dreading 'being a cool dad' but having to 'sell out' and take my kids 2 see 'shitty movies' to feel like they are 'normal.' Might only allow my kid to watch DVDs from the Criterion Collection.

XX BONUS NAPPY DYNAMITE SIGHTING XX

Does n e 1 know what ever happened to the Napoleon Dynamite bro? I think he found a way 2 clone himself or something. Think they will probably use the 'clone gimmick' in Napoleon Dynamite Pt 2: Pedro's Revenege [via Swine Flu {sub-Via Mexis}].

Yall, I was watching this new Crystal Castles video

but then it turned out 2 be a Toshiba commercial trying to get me to buy a new computer screen for my Macbook Lappy.

Reminds me of the time that I thought I was watching an 'authentic viral video' but it ended up being a popular scene from the alt-gone-mainstream indie comedy 'Napoleon Dynamite: the Story of a Zany Bro with a Mexi bff.'

h8 it when I am misled when I thought I was watching something authentic.

Just wanted to hear some Crystal Castles/Alice Glass vocals/deep samples, and see a well-executed video. One time I read in a magazine that 'advertising' is the 'master art.' These days, I kinda wonder if blogging is the 'master art.'

(For those of yall who don't know, the 'master art' is a term 4 the most authentic way for a human 2 express himself/humanity. Some people say it's politics. Others say science. Some say it's organic farming. I think it has something 2 do with the internet/HTML/web 2.0).

Maybe Crystal Castles = the 'master art'

Wonder what Crystal Castles bought with their royalties?
a) new hoodies
b) ice cream headz (different flavours)
c) new laptops
d) renewed their photoshop license
e) a lil bit of eye makeup
f) leggings with holes in them
g) indoor soccer shoes
h) an AZN
i) Choose.Your.Own.Response

///Just//searching//4//the//'master art'/////

I used to wear this shirt a lot when I was in elementary school and none of the other lil alts had free-spirited parents who took them to cutting edge indie films.

But now I'm grown up and I think I want 2 b a little bit more honest with myself.

I remember when I was going through my Linkin Park/wearing black trench coats era, I used 2 wear a shirt like this every day. (I also didn't wear deodorant & rubbed Hot Pocket grease on to my face).

I kinda wish they had sold this shirt in Hot Topic to more accurately portray my personal brand.

What are some other classic t-shirts?

1. Every one loves a ________ Girl?
a) Mexi
b) AZN
c) whitey
d) Jewish
e) Afrikaans
f) alt
g) entry level mainstreamer alt
h) C.Y.O.Response
i) Blippies
k) Mainstream
l) Crombie
m) depressed so u can take advantage of them & control their self-worth

2. ___________ is my homeboy
a) CRLS
b) my cool dad
c) Stephen Aoker
d) The Justices
e) The French Teenager Band
f) The American Band of Jonas Brothers
g) AZNs
h) those sillie Chinese people who are having that Olympic thingy
i) a party picbro
j) the CEO of Microsoft/Chili's/Google/Sparks/iPod Computers
k) The Keut Girl in HeartsRevvy/CrystalCastles
l) C.Y.O.Response

I used to be really into science, so I figured I should start blogging more about animals, cells, organisms, planets, Earth, the universe, STDs, AIDs, diabetes, 'getting fucked up' on a molecular level, Gorillas that have computer voice boxes, chemistry, physics, calculus and other stuff like that.

What happens when ur natural habitat is an electro jungle? Your skin turns into neon camouflage. Ur feet adapt and form gellie paws. When u get pregnant, ur formative-lil-alt-babie starts to form in what looks like a quirky fanny pack. In order to avoid loud music during ur child's formative stages, u climb up into the trees to hide from electro jungle predators.

Be careful in electro jungles, yall. While most creatures are just 'lookin to have a good time, hear some good tunes, and dance', there are some legitimate predators that need 2 be feared.

WHERE THE ALT THINGS R


XX BONUS LOST CHARACTER FROM THE HIT FILM 'NAPPY DYNAMITE' XX

I saw her in the Uncut Critereon Collection Bonus Feature Director's Cut with Director & Actor Commentary.

[Photos from Facehunty]

I've been seeing a lot of ads for this 'quirky' looking film. I finally decided to watch the trailer to see if it was as hollow and gimmicky as the JUNO typeface.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0SKf0K3bxg&rel=1]
Are they trying to confuse the viewers into thinking it's a more serious Napoleon Dynamite? How was the Juno writer able to create a NappyDynamite type world that offers the potential for introspection on a level similar to Garden State.

I think the lead girl seems a little bit too GenXer. Sort of like Jeanenne Garrafalo in the body of a 16 year old. Does the tail end of Generation Y need a movie about teen pregnancy? I'd like to think most of us know that a kid would kill our opportunity to not take life seriously.

Oh well. I guess this is probably just modern production design on a typical movie. I prefer this aesthetic: