HIPSTER RUNOFF

Sometimes I wonder what 'the next big technologie' is and what sort of idea will change the way that we all consume a certain product/live my life. Sort of wish I could invent something that would make the world a better place by inspiring pure joy out of humans, and also 'make me hella rich' and possibly socially relevant to every1. Sorta like Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Benjamin Franklin or Jason Twitter.

I feel like if I could have invented anything in the past 1000 years, I would have invented the popular vending machines called 'redboxes.'

Even though they sound like a vending machine that somehow 'gives u a blowjy', they are actually a DVD rental system, specifically aimed at poor people who shop at Wal Mart or eat at McDonalds regularly, and particularly at a special group of poors who shop at WalMarts and eat at a McDonalds within a WalMart.

Basically, u get to rent a movie for $1 from a redbox. Instead of dealing with Netflix's high subscription cost, or going into an overpriced store like the Blockbuster, u get to easily rent a movie for just $1. It seems almost 'too good to be true.' Sorta wish they also sold popcorn and Milk Duds in the same machine.

I feel like we're always so busy reading about bold new technological innovations that we forget that we are the socially elite members of society, and believe it or not, we are a minority. Real people can't find entertainment in things like twitter because their lives' are boring and they haven't reached a respectable level of self-awareness. They just see life as a trivial routine of going to work, eating, and shitting. Why would they value social networks or memes if they are basically living a dumb life with no desire for a 'creative outlet' where 'a tribe' is able to keep up with u? Real people 'know better' and don't try to cultivate value from feeling close to people on the internet, and they just try to find simple pleasures and stay happy+unhealthy.

I want to get more in touch with 'the common man.' The regular 'dudes and chicks' who are just looking for something to take up their time between the hours of 5-11:30 pm (the time after work, but before bed). Sometimes TV is pretty sweet, and eating can take up a lot of time too. Might get into a dead end relationship, start eating tons of 'shitty food', and chill my way over to a redbox everynight, telling myself that I'm 'getting a sweet deal.'

I get s00 tired of Barack Obama saying that we need 2 'get more technological' to save the economy, like some 'huge breakthru' is gonna save us. He needs to realize that we need to sell down market, creating an economy of 'poor people' who think that they 'have luxuries' and stuff like that. We need to help them feel empowered by making their lives' easier. While so many of the headlines go to things like 'twitter', 'macbook', and 'iPhone' just because they are overwhelming brands, we really need to realize that simple things make money too. Simple things last forever, that's why soda machines still chill in every building in America. For $1, you can have the pleasure of a refreshing cola beverage.

Feel like we need more vending machines, like pizza vending machines

Or possibly games where u 'have a slim chance of winning' but still give u 'hope' that ur special+smart+competent enough to win, like the game STACKER, or that game where you have to knock tokens over the edge to 'win.'

I believe that America can recover from 'the recession', but we have to admit that we are what we are. We have to admit that we are probably only a top20 nation in the world, and that we can build a self-sustaining economy if we just admit that we are humans who have simple pleasures. Sorta like a high school kid who 'thought he should get into an Ivy League school' but then realized he was only 'smarter than the dumb people in his/her high school' and 'started to settle for social acceptance as a reward.' We must get in touch with ourselves'. We can eat well until we die and watch cool shit every night [via HD]. Feel like we need to stop trying to be 'extremely innovative' and possibly just 'execute simple ideas.'

If ur a student going into college, I would encourage you to major in Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, Marketing, or Communications. These majors will enable you to see how the world works, and teach you to make good decisions about life.

See yall later. Gonna go rent a movie for $1. Hope I return it on times so I'm not charged $25. Get lazy sometimes but at least I get to keep a sweet DVD.

Please use the comments section to pitch ur ideas+economic recovery plan to 'the government.'

They're all over there laughing at us. It sucks. My whole life, I have been raised thinking that America was the best country on the planet, but I think it might have all been a lie. Maybe we were just really good at branding. Feel like we just control what it means to 'be cool', but we might not even have that n e more. Because of the internet 'coolness' doesn't really have a 'source' and the brand can exist anywhere with no point of origin.

Sad about the economic crisis, and how AZNs have been smarter than us about saving 'money' and only spending what they have. I think America is beautiful. We've had a good run, but maybe we're not as special as we thought we were. Kinda sad. I still feel 'cooler' than a lot of foreigners, and like smarter.

Think that America is important since we have so many famous people and the best professional sports leagues. Sometimes I think that those are the most important elements in 'keeping your country relevant/in power.' Just feels sad that maybe we're as poor as a 3rd World country. Wonder if the 'economic crisis' will ever hit me. I feel sad for all of the people at my Business School who decided to major in Finance with dreams of 'making it big' as an Investment Banker. That was probably as krazie as my dream to start an independent record label/coffee house/underground book store/social network for zany people.

Is it cool to 'be better' towards AZNs who live in America, or are they 'one of us'? Or should we construct some 'internment camps' in the middle of the USA where we force all AZNs to live and do manual labor, even if they are respected within society? Not trying 2 be radical, just know that we have 2 hold some1 accountable for our crisis, and it might 'unite' our country if we single out a group of people who are responsible. Kinda like when they had 2 find communist actors in Hollywood.

I don't really know much about China, except that they are 'commie reds', violate a lot of human rights, and pollute a lot. Learned that from the newspaper.

Kinda wish we could go back in time 2 the Olympics back when they built those meme buildings like 'the birds nest.'

Should I h8 azns and hold them responsible for the destruction of my country?
Or should I move out of the USA and move to an authentic city like Paris/Beijing/Tokyo/Cairo?

I used to feel safe about being an American, since we were #1 in everything, but now I don't know if I want to bring a kid into this world without the United States of America being what it once was. Not sure if my kid could handle growing up in a place that's 'not the best.'

What is the #1 country in the world right now, yall?

Meme via Awful Announcing

Yall. I'll be honest. I was a big Obama supporter--even supported him enough to follow him on twitter. I felt a lot of 'pride' when he was elected since I am partially 'black' [via Pangea]. However, I think some1 needs 2 tell him that the campaign is over. He doesn't need to focus on his personal brand any more. He doesn't need 2 waste his time doing gimmicks that help him 'relate 2 the common man.'

He should be President, and do serious stuff instead of watching ESPN, and being a 'bro who fills out a college basketball NCAA tourney bracket.'

Feel like it is inconsiderate, since our economie is 'in the shitter.'
Tired of this never ending public relations campaign when there are so many ISSUES out there unresolved. I remember when he was being a bro and drinking beer at some sports game, now he is trying harder to get bro-y with our nation.

I think that his act is as reprehensible and disgusting as the ppl at that one bank giving themselves bonuses after they got bailed out.
-Carles with a hardhitting opinion

h8 the modern world. h8 how leaders+celebrities have to be 'human' and 'accessible' these days.

some1 srsly needs 2 tell that bro 2 'get 2 work' b4 he gets impeached.

I want to be an altCeleb
and interact
with the worlds most beautiful
people [via 'v.i.p.' at a music festival]

Sometimes I wonder if music festivals are a 'viable business model.' It seems like every part of the world has a series of memorable music festival which attempt to mix a lineup of Today's Stars with The Buzzworthy Bands of Tomorrow. It seems like it would be a lil bit tough to coordinate a music festival. Most bands probably don't deserve 2 get paid at a music festival, unless ur Coldplay or Jack Johnson or something. Not sure what the most expensive part of organizing a music festival is.

But yea, in 2k8, we saw a lot of new music festivals popup & a few smaller scale ones 'try to put themselves on the map.' I don't think 2k9 will be a good year for festivals because of 'the economy.' Yall should know that when 'the economy' is 'in' the 'shitter', there is less money to pay for 'luxury products.' Luxury products include:

• bands that think they 'deserve more money to play ur festival' because they have an inaccurate perception of 'how big they are'
• gas money for altbros to go on a roadtrip 'to the city'
• meaningful band t-shirts
• 3 day festival passes
• V.I.P. festival passes
• a zany wardrobe 2 wear 2 a music festival
• other items that alts use to 'stay hydrated/entertained' at a music festival
• Starbucks Coffee

I'm just sayin, yall. There's less money than ever, and it's so hard 2 'find sponsors.' I was trying to plan a music festival in Chicago for this week, but I couldn't get any sponsors because of 'the economy.' Sux 4 me, but maybe after Obama 'saves us', he will save the modern music festival. Not sure if 'electro' is gonna be as big of a draw as it was for the past 2 years. AnCo will probs be 'the most electro' band on most festival lineups in 2k10.

Until our economy is saved, most music festivals will occur in Australia or Asia. Coachella might be in Singapore this year, and Pitchfork Festival might be in Sydney. They just have a better market 4 'entertainment' right now since Americans have 2 spend money on bread and milk.

Get used 2 it yall. Things r changing.

miss u woodstock99 [via fred durst and the korns]

What do u know about organizing music festivals?
What can we do 2 save music festivals?
Do u have any innovative business ideas besides 'legalized altProstitution'?

[Photo by Last Nights Party]
2k10 will be a turning point for women. They will no longer be confined by fashion/design constructs, and they will redefine every article of clothing in order to create a more authentic method of expressing who they are [via the clothes that they wear]. Things will begin to get more conceptual, and advertisers will move to advertise on beautiful humans after the blog-ad market dries up/internet is rationed by Barry Obama.

If there is one thing our country needs now, it is a bail out of the following economies

• the nip stickies economy
• the 'chunks of pink/purple/blue in my hair' economy
• the free-spirited piercing economy
• the electro economy
• the banger economy
• the conceptualcore economy
• the meaningfulcore economy
• the fund for transitioning entry levelers to mildly authentic bros
• the bro economy.
• The meme economy

Hopefully we make it to 2k10 without a country 'getting zany' and dropping a nuculeaure bomb on 'us.' I am looking forward to more keut women in progressive outfits that do a better job of 'showing the world what God gave them.

I am excited about the future.
I am excited about the future of fashion/design/women.

Yall. I'm scared abt the future. Right now gas prices are like $10 a gallon in my suburban area/major metropolitan area, and if things keep up, it'll be $20 per gally by 2k9. Sux s0 bad ryte now.

So is the RAZR Scooter the Toyoto Prius of the future? Since our economy is so bad, and gas prices are so high, we're going to see a lot of people save money by making their gender ambiguous/riding scooters for 8 year olds. I think this guy is also representative of the PERSONAL BRAND RECESSION that we are in right now. There just aren't enough unique personal brands to go around, so u have to search for something zany to make u feel unique. For example, this bro is wearing a hoop earring AND a dangly earring. If we weren't in a personal brand recession/depression, this never woulda happened.

I know that people are worried about emissions and relying on the Dark Side of the World that is home to a lot of oil/Texas Tea/'brown drank'/etc. I think our world would be a lot easier if we found a way to get all of those natural resources into America. Then we wouldn't have to 'go2war' with the Dark Side. Iraq was kinda bloggable, tho. Remember Saddam Hussein's sons? (don't miss yall)

N e ways. Should I buy a HybridJetta or a segway? I am bad at parallel parking, so maybe a seggy might help strengthen my personal brand. It will really bring out the 'mall security guard' in me.

DJ = Party Pixer = Blogger = 'it' girl = designer = eDesigner

I've read on a lot of finance+wall street blogs that the American economy is in rlly bad shape. While the alternative lifestyle market doesn't usually suffer when the mainstream economy is in trouble, it is apparently s0 bad that DJs have had to branch out 2 do more than just play music from their lappy/turntables.

It sux that every entrepreneur with an altDream of 'making money from their passion/genuine interests' such as 'music', 'meeting people', 'going out', or 'creating' aren't going to be able to be a single dimensional product any more. They will have to branch out.

Party Pix-ers will have to start making tShirts.
DJs will have to start party pix sites.
Bloggers will have to become musicians.
Party Pixers will have 2 get on hype machine.
Street Fashion bloggers will become music bloggers.
Interns for AltCompanies will be party pix representatives.
Record Labels will become blogs.
DJs will become altWebDesigners.
'It' girls will become DJs.

I'm worried about this economy! I'm already s0 busy managing a healthy balance between 'real lyfe' and 'social lyfe.' Having another thing 2 do on my plate would be hella annoying, but it would make me more interesting since I would have more to gripe about.

We all have a dream of 'making money' by 'doing what we love.' Sux that we're going to have 2 convince ourselves that we're interested in a lot more 'genres of interesting-ish stuff.'

[Photo by thecobrasnake]

SoMe Hungry.
MeSo Hungry

Do yall know if this is going to be converted into a public service announcement discouraging people from majoring in art/design/communications? The bad thing about having a unique point of view is that u feel an obligation to learn the tools which will help u express urself. This leads u 2 art school/design school.

As the world evolves, more unique people are born, meaning more people who need to express themselves, meaning more art schools. It sux because we don't have n e 1 to do menial jobs @ McDonalds, or be accountants n e more. I wish there were less artists so that our economy would be g00d again.

[Photo by The Cobrasnake]

Letter from a Self Aware Artist:

crls,
you're doing a great job keeping us up to date on breaking updates in the electro war and koowky azn fashions but what about art schools?
come on carleserslerers, this place is an alt factory. a place where impressionable 18 year olds become subjected to some of the most altyaltmcalts in their major metropolitan city (art schoolers confidence is rooted in both impeccably alt fashion choices and "culturedness" in fine arts and theory). the velocity of going from a mnstrmr to an alt in the freshman year of art school is unparalled. there's not even an entry level alt phase. every day spent wearing boot cut jeans and messy graphic screen printed tee shirts that used to seem cool and unique in yr florida suburb back home is a day spent not making friends at fine art schools. and let me clarify the difference between art schools. schools like saic (chicago), smfa (boston), cooper union (new york) are FINE art schools. fine art schools are tiny. they make really pretentious performances pieces and spend most of their time talking about gender roles. these are the altest art schools. there are secret cliques that i can't even tel you about because they are internet resistant the goretex on a northface jacket. these cliques are so ruthlessly hip you might never even know they exist. regular art schools, like columbia college (chicago), cal arts (san fransisco), pratt (new york), massarts (boston), mica (baltimore) are huge bro'd down schools. they all have like, 20,000 students and they're mainly made up of animation and graphic design dave mathews band white baseball cap bros, anime loving goth sluts and entry, entry level alts. their may be a dozen or so high level alts at these huge schools but they are probably there for "art theory" and only go because "they got a huge scholarship" (while the more alt fine art school in the same city didn't give them one, but they'd never admit to it for fear of losing cred). listen, i could babble on about this forever. art school is really important crlsrlsrs, ok?

What do yall know about art schools/the people who u know who r in Art School?
What's the best art school in the world?
Should I go there?
Should I study abroad?
If I get in, will I get a chance to learn Photoshop?
Should I move to Manhatty?