HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photo by facehunter

I've been alive for a while. I have lived through so many different trend cycles and seasonal weather changes. It is always fascinating to see how our global meteorological climate can impact trends. As the weather rides waves of chill winds to winter temperatures, humans must find a way to 'stay warm', but more importantly 'stay in touch with relevant fashion trends.' Just because it is mad cold, doesn't mean u can sacrifice your alternative look.

It seems like the tube scarf is 'gaining steam' about becoming a solid option for alternative ppl who want to wear a scarf, but don't want to seem 'entry-level' about it. The bro in the picture really seems to be protecting himself from the elements, while looking 'like an interesting human being, based on the clothes he is wearing.'  I feel like the modern brand of the scarf is associated with a Jonas Brother/tween or something. Authentic humans must find a new form/function for the scarf, and you can see the flexibility of the tube scarf gives humans ultimate protection.

You can even bring the tube scarf over year head, so you don't have to look like boring ppl who wear 'lil beanies.'

Feel like I have read somewhere that humans want 'options'/flexibility, which is why Coca Cola makes multiple products.

Tube scarves seem to be an interesting, flexible look for both men and women. Like a trend that only 'bohemian consumers' could/would implement. Like some sort of high level band that only people who 'get' the alt scene would even know about.

Scarves are rlly dangerous territory though. I really want to stay warm, but I don't want to seem like I am 'trying too hard.'  Feel like suburban tweens wear scarves to 'look older'/seem like they are 'from the city.'

I will never forget the altstreamification of the keffiyeh/Palestinian scarf. Feel like I watched this trend evolve, much like a proud father watches his son grow into an NFL player.

Sort of wish I could be a mainstreamer/attempted-'hipster' who prematurely wore a scarf on a day when the temperature ranged from 59 degrees to 75 degrees.

Miss the era of girls learning how 2 crochet, then making ppl scarves as gifts.

Always start to 'giggle'/'scoff' whenever I see some1 of any age wearing a keffiyeh, the 'scarlet letter' of an entryleveler.

It is important to note that 'scarves' are simple items for manufacturers to make + get 'huge margins.' Really hope Target doesn't start manufacturing them.

Worried that an entry leveler will wear his Am Appy hoodie, a palestinian scarf, and a tube scarf all on the same day in 2k13.

I am happy that the tube scarf has given me the opportunity to strengthen my personal brand, and distance myself from winter accessory trends that have outlasted their 'useful livez.'

What do u use to keep ur neck protected from the elements?
Does a scarf fit in with ur brand?

Previous winter clothing coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/02/are-palestinian-scarves-still-authentically-alt.html

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/the-pea-coat-mafia.html

Do yall think Old Navy fleeces will eventually 'come back' as an alt trend in a post-post-ironic way?

Photo by the StyleShark

Yesterday, I used my Palestinian scarf for something functional. I was attending a large outdoor concert, and I had to urinate. I had to walk to the edge of the property in order to use the portable restrooms that were provided by the festival promoters. As I approached 'the facilities,' I could smell something 'sterile' but also something 'incredibly disgusting.' As if I was standing on the sidelines of a battle between the pungent smell of poo and the cleaning agents that people poo and pee into within portapotties. I covered my nose and mouth with my alternative scarf, as if I was 'actually in the Middle East', and there was a 'massive sandstorm'/fire fight with American troops.

I walked into the portable restroom, and I saw a urinal to the left which had a pipe connecting to the large pool of waste below the toilet seat. I peered down the toilet seat and saw a mountain of feces with a blue tint, matching the royal, synthetic colour of the simulated toilet water. I attempted to hold my breath, but my body's natural desire for air caused me to take in an intense 'whiff' of the excrement of several hundred people. For a moment, I felt like I wanted to vomit, but then I realized that there was beauty in this metabolic breakdown of your body's essential needs. Found beauty in the fact that while I usually 'see people eating' and bond with humanity while sharing feasts...for once I was able to share with 'what comes out of humans.' As if I realized that eating was just a means to this end--pooping.

I looked down at the huge pile of shit stewed with urine, and admired it. For the first time in my life, I felt 'not alone.' I feel like I truly understood that maybe we're all the same. We all eat, we all feel like children, and we all have to poop. A warm smile came over me, as I decided to 'drop a few pieces of love' on top of this pile of humanity. The logs creamed out of my ass hole, as if God had opened up a trendy frozen yogurt shop--no wiping necessary--a clean breakoff executed by my contracting anus. I got up, and saw my two distinct logs piled on top of the blueish brown mound of feces. I paused for a moment, then watched the blue water creep up and tint my defecation. I felt like I was a part of something bigger than myself.

I had a little bit more to urinate, so I decided to move around a used-tampon utilizing the force of my urine stream. It floated around somewhat aimlessly until it settled within the mound of feces. It was as if it found its home. It was as if I found my home. I zipped up my pants, took one last look at 'authentic beauty' and exited the portapotty, most likely never to come back again. It made me happy and sad at the same time--much like 90% of life's most meaningful experiences.

On the way home, I saw some portable toilets being transported to what I could only assume was a large music or cultural festival.

It made me feel a little bit better about life. I hoped that some1 else was able to find the beauty that I found when I shared a unique experience with hundreds of people inside of a portable restroom unit.

Sometimes, it seems like ur looking for beauty in all of the wrong places.

Was doing some online shopping, and I had a musing 'worth blogging about.'

I remember when Palestinian scarves were 'all the rage' back in the electro era of the alt world. Altbros and altbroads would wear them all the time. Went perfectly with a pair of sunglasses I read on a wikipedia page that these scarves are called "kaffiyehs" and that they are a militant fashion. They apparently are anti-Russian and anti-Israeli.

I think in recent months, it has become 'cool' to support Israel and altJews, so I'm not sure if it is still a 'kewl thing' 2 wear, even though rappers started 2 wear them so I'm not sure if I can say that black people h8 the jews.

I remember when shuttershades died, and we thought the world was gonna end. Kinda sux that all products have a 'useful life.' Wish we could all be 'useful' forever, but I guess that's probs not realistic, especially in terms of 'women.'

Kinda h8 when trends go from being 'buzzworthy' to 'being worn by inauthentic entry levelers.' Just feel like my personal brand is getting stale, and I need a NEW AESTHETIC to implement asap that has nvr been done b4.

Miss u Scarf Coverage

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/kute-girls-have-the-right-to-show-skintheir-facesnips.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/06/the-future-of-the-t-shirt-industry.html

Kinda wish I could invent the next 't-shirt' -- something that would stay around 4ever just cuz it's so functional and EZ... As a design school student, I can't help but ask the question--is there something better out there than a t-shirt that would meet our wardrobe needs?

Am I less authentic and too mainstream if I find a whimsical product like the 'snuggie' to be 'funnie' and try to construct an 'inside joke' about it with a group of my friends even though lots of groups of friends have an identical inside joke?

Just want a new product where design+meme+branding+viral marketing+progressivefunctionality meet to create a super product. Kinda like 'the iPod Shuffler.'

Yall. Isn't it kinda weird how scarves blur the line between 'functional' and 'completely unnecessary' depending on the weather? h8 people who 'wear scarves when it is 65 degrees outside.'

Men with scarves = kinda like entry level altbags, or maybe like 'people who shopped at the GAP for too long.' Girls with scarves seem like they are 'trying 2 hard 2 be kutesy', but that might be bc of the limited range of scarves. Wearing a scarf does not give u an Instant-Brand like a lot of other possibly-useless accessories. S0 many types of scarves.

h8 u Palestinian scarves. trying 2 forget abt 2k8, yall.

[via lookbook]

h8 plain bitches/mainstreamers in scarves

h8 'zany scarves'

Don't mind altbaguettes in progressive scarves that challenge existing design concepts

Do yall know if scarves that look like the blanket/quilt that ur mom has on the couch for people whose legs get cold is going 2 be big in 2k9?

[photo by GlamCanyon]
What's next after the scarf? Trying 2 identify the core competencies of a scarf, and how we can make scarf technology a lil bit more obsolete? Are scarves essential+necessary, or are they kinda like the drinking straw?

Hopefuly American Apparel puts rain ponchos into production soon. Probs would wear one even when it's not raining to make sure that my personal brand was differentiated from every1.

So this is the new year // and I (do/don't) feel n e different, yall!

Has n e 1 ever knitted a meaningful scarf 4 u as a gift? Do u think they made it as a labor of love, or are scarves just 'the easiest thing 4 entry levelers to knit'?

ALTBRO or ALTBAG is an HRO gimmick where I find pix of alternative males. Readers then must decide if the person pictured is an altBro or an altBag.

Please justify your answer in order to be mailed your $5 Chili's gift card.

For example: "He is an altBro because he has a gymbag full of miscellaneous alternative g00dies and his palestinian scarf.  And also his sunglassies."
or "He is an altBag because of his progressive bowlcut + postAltBro humble loafers."

[Photo by Plastic Choko]

What do yall think he is?  Kinda leaning towards _____. h8 being 'undecided.'

What's the deal with fashion designers making women cover up? I thought that since we live in the 'Western World', we are allowed to objectify women in public. It's rlly not fair to try to create a new fashion gimmick using the same ideology that our terrorist enemies use. I hate oppression, yall.

I would NEVER live in the Middle East/Far East because I couldn't eyeball fuck hotties/kreepily gaze at [barely illegal] hotties. Does n e 1 know why they make them 'cover up'? Do they like tugjobs over there, or are they just like 'over-protective boyfriends' who don't want their GFs to look sexy in public so they make them wear denim jumpers?

I would never live in a country/a cult where every woman had to wear possessive boyfriend jeans.

Would u move to Dubai? I hear they give you a lot of money to buy nice stuff (like Sharper Image closeout items and leather goods) if u move there. They also build a lot of stuff that isn't rlly very practical. That place is going to look like a Pixar movie in like 2 yearz.

What's the deal with HIJAB fashion?
From wikipedia:

Hijab or ħijāb (حجاب, pronounced: [ħi.ˈdʒæːb]) is the Arabic term for "cover" (noun), based on the root حجب meaning "to veil, to cover (verb), to screen, to shelter".

It's srsly taking over. I wish every1 could live in a world where women could be objectified. More importantly, I wish every little girl could live in a world where she constructed her self-concept based upon her objectification levels from ages 3 to 35. I'm a dreamer, though. :-( Call me crazie...

[Hijab meme stolen from Tumbledore]

Remember the simple days when life was all about chillin in Palestinian Scarves that didn't 'cover up too much'?

N e ways... I'm just saying that I am least likely to study abroad on the following continents:

• Africa
• Asia (except Japan and maybe the Euro part of Russia)
• Antarctica
• Iceland
• Guantanamo Bay
• Brazil
• South America/ n e where below the USA on a map

I am most likely to study abroad in

• A country where they speak English like the UK/Australia
• A country where they speak English like Germany
• A country where they speak French like France
• A country where they speak Mexican like Spain
• A country where they speak electro like France/Australia
• Toronto
• Honolulu (I hear it's really alt over there now)

What's up with the world? When did it all get s0 'random' (in a bad kind of way, not a funny kind of way)?
I will blog for social change more often. I feel like a better person now.

Hope yall are having a good day celebrating how America is the #1 country in the world. I have been blogging [LIVE] from a picnic today, and I had a little bit of extra table cloth left over from our picnic table. Fortunately, I gave it to this alt bro so he could make an [EXCLUSIVE] Palestinian scarf. I spilled a lil bit of mustard on it, but I think he must have SHOUTed it Out.

[Photo by Facehunter]

But seriously, yall. America is the best country in the world. I don't rlly care if I alienate my alt readers from England, Australia, France, or Mexico. America is responsible for a lot of important alt culture. Without America, foreign bands wouldn't have a place to sell out & get truly commodified. In addition, most blogs and magazines are written in American language. American is the international language of the internet, so all of yall need to be thankful that your countries let you speak it.

America also has more impressionable tweens than any 1 else. I know there's a lot of weirdo European kids, and Japanese kids, but American kids are the best. They will grow up and make society a better place after they get their degree in Photoshop with a minor in iMovie HD.

America is kind of like the Girl Talk of countries. It is s0 mainstream and alt at the same time. It's beautiful. From the suburbs to the metropolitan areas, we are united as alts. When the world ends in 2012, every country will look back and wish they were a little bit more American.

MSSN F*CKNG @CCMPLSHD

Who should America go to War with next?
a) Iran
b) China (during the Olympics)
c) the southern part of America (remix)
d) ally with Australia and nuke France
e) Japanese teenagers in shuttershades
f) Bombay, India (stop stealing our jobs, yall!)
g) Scandinavia
h) Africa
i) any where that has brown-ish poeple
j) emo Mexican kids
k) rich Brazilians like CSS
l) CANADA
m) Iceland (we will start the war by kidnapping Sigur Ros and Bjork)
n) Choose.Your.Own.Country+Alt reference

T-Shirts are great replacements for having to spend money on more elaborate wardrobe or accessories. This shirt is crafty enough to feature a Keffiyeh AKA a Palestinian scarf AKA that A-rab Scarf that hipsters wear AKA an 'I hate Israelis' scarf.

If u were to start an alternative t-shirt designing company, what would u put on your shirts? (besides electro lightning bolts)

[Coolhunted at Fash Rash]