However, WashedOutBro is ‘chilling’ on his honeymoon with his wife. He is only accessible to the woman that he loves.

I wonder if ‘having a wife/serious GF’ makes you a better artist. Like you can focus on your craft, instead of seeking out rewards [via tugjobs] from entry-level alt fan girls at every stop on your North American tour. I feel like we could call this theory the AnCo Relationship Theory. All three members of Animal Collective are in ’serious relationships/marriages’ (some with kids). It seems like they have only become ‘mad relevant/successful’ since they have found people who probably give them the space and support system that they need to be ‘artists.’

It’s kinda weird how Washed Out ‘gave up on alt celeb perks’ before his touring/entire career had even taken off. Do u think he will begin 2 regret ‘what could have been’, or will he be happy with his decision since it will allow him to ‘truly chill’ for the rest of his life?

Maybe the chillwave genre is more about ‘moving forward with family values’ as opposed to ‘escapism’ [via chilling]. Maybe chillwave is more about ‘chilling with a wife’ as opposed to ‘chilling with a group of bros.’ Maybe chillwave will help the former altbros of electro begin to transition into adult life.

What would do if u were in a budding hype-band? Would u ‘use it to get alternative sex’? Would u try to marry some1 who ‘knew u before u were an alt celeb’? Would u try to marry some1 who ‘only loved u because of ur status as an alt celeb’? Were Ben Gibbard + Zooey Deschanel married for ‘public relations/marketing’ purposes?

When u become a buzzband, so many ppl who u don’t know ‘want something from u.’ Maybe u just need some1 who wants/likes/loves u for u, even if you weren’t a buzzworthy, monetizable artist.

See unwatermarked photo here.

(wonder how much pitchfork paid for these exclusive wedding photos. wonder when an alternative website will pay for baby photos. Can’t believe the alt blogosphere has entered the paying for wedding/baby photo meme era.)

Wondering if Panda Bear ‘invented’ chillwave back before we even knew it…

[MP3]
Panda Bear Untitled (eventually AnCo’s Guy’s Eyes)

I really want to do just what my body wants to
I really want to do just what my body needs to
I really want to show to my girl that I want her (and I do)
I really want to show to my girl that I need her (and I do)
If I could just hold all the thoughts in my head and just keep them for you
If I could just purge all the urges that I have and keep them for you
I really want to show to my girl that I need her
I keep it locked right now

Need her
-Panda Bear/Animal Collective

//////feeling it all around
////maybe being alt famous/artistically relevant is not a gateway to a meaningful/sex-filled life…
////maybe u need to ’shack up’ with some1 before u r ’successful.’
////LoVe iS a HiGhWaY

[MP3]
Atlas Sound Walkabout (w/ Panda Bear)

I heard that this song is possibly one of the most ‘relevant’ and ‘organically created + released’ mp3s of the year. From what I understand, the DeerhunterBro was ‘chilling’ with the Animal Collective, then Panda Bear (Noah Lenbro) ‘taught’ DeerBro how to use his lil conceptual music making gadget. Feel like this is ‘basically just a new Panda Bear song’ or something. Not sure if I really want to say it is an ‘Atlas Sound’ song, because I feel like I would ‘like’ it 40% more if it was just ‘a Panda Bear song.’ I’m not sure what Bradford Cox (Deerhunter/AtlasSound bro) is trying to do, branding-wise. Have honestly never heard Atlas Sound, but would think that he is like some sort of indie rock guitar bro or something. Might be trying to rebrand, and get more on the ‘conceptual bandwagon’ [via Neon Indian theory].

Seems like this mp3 is ‘good’ and possibly ‘transcendental’ in an mp3blog kind of way. Feel like it is a ‘good song’ but also has too many opportunities to ‘namedrop band names’ to pass up blogging about it. I think that if you blog about this song, your blogsite will show up when people google “what is a good indie song, yall?”

Can’t believe Panda Bear’s “Person Pitch” came out in 2k7. Can’t believe it is already 2010. Sorta just feel ‘overwhelmed’ by 2k9, since it was the year of MPP, and I just want to chill to some Panda Bear solo without Avey Tare ‘yelling all over the place.’ Feel just like this song reminds me of ‘back when I didn’t have to think so much about conceptual music, and what it meant‘, and my personal brand could just sort of ‘coast’ by saying that I like Panda Bear.

Feeling sad that I will soon have 2 turn my back on ‘the Panda Bear aesthetic’ (probs after his next album is released). Heard Noah Lennox charges like $20K for his solo show. Might get him for my Super Sweet 16.

Photo via GorillaVsBear

I was looking at the popular alternative mp3 blog, GorillavsBears, and I noticed that the GorillaVsBro took some pictures of popular conceptual musician Panda Bear, aka stage name “Noah Lennox”, from the band Animal Collective. I saw that he was wearing a shirt that looked pretty kewl. The shirt featured several wolves ‘chilling.’ I thought it might be a t-shirt for a band that was named ‘Wolves’ or ‘Wolf Collective’ or something, but it was actually just a shirt promoting the generic wolf brand. Wolves for Wolves’ Sake.

I feel like it might be a modern take on the famous ‘child predator glasses‘ trend. It is a look that says ‘I am a bro who values different things than u. I live in a different world than u, and I am not searching for the same things in life than u r. I am part of some sort of collective of animals who don’t care about material things’ and so forth, and so on… Sort of like how child predators ‘just wanna get off with kidz’, WolfBros ‘just want to be a part of nature’ or something like that. Roaming the earth.

It’s weird how we are in this Am Appy era of solids + stripes, but it might be time to ‘break free’ from this minimal branding, and start wearing t-shirts with various nouns on them, represented via images (no words).

Srsly. The more I see Wolf t-shirts, the more it ‘makes sense.’

Seems like ‘wolf’ might be my power animal [via the Fighting Clubs]

Wolf Altbro #1

Wolf Altbro #2?

Wolves roam together in packs, sort of like how I envision a ‘perfect scene’ where every1 gets along and there is no ‘drama’

Wolves can also be ‘lone bros’ who ‘just chill by themselves’ and are ‘happy’ with a life of solitude

Might ‘convert’ a wolf t-shirt into some sort of tank top for the summer months

This shirt sorta represents being American, but also being a wolf bro

People who have read lots of wikipedia pages will have found out that ‘indie music’ is actually short of ‘Indian music’, not ‘independent music.’ Wolves and Buffalo were the most important animals to injuns.

“I am a lone bro.
Lone wolf bro
Alone in this modern world
searching for my pack of bros
to roam this earth
in search of meaning
we are comfy in nautica bros.”
-Panda Bear, 2014

R u gonna buy a wolf t-shirt?
Do u believe in the wolf t-shirt as a relevant summer look?
Does n e 1 know how to convert my blank Am Appy t-shirts into Wolf Tees?
Is Panda Bear a bro who ‘gets it’?
What will u be wearing this summer?

[MP3]
Passion Pit Sleepyhead

Saw this live performance of the song. Think they are one of those bands who care about making music that is conceptual, ‘produced at a high level’, and ‘doing a good job of replicating the album experience with the live show.’ These are elements of music that I value in the modern world.

From what I have read in some blogs, they have a new album coming out. Wonder if it will ‘leak.’ Will probably actually just buy it on vinyl or something. I think ‘vinyl’ is the only way that artists get paid these days, from what I have read on the internet music websites on the internet.

I saw this ‘making of’ video where they corral some sort of innercity children’s choir to sing ‘backup’ on their conceptual album. I think there is a funny part where the ‘make sure that the kids hit 6 distinct notes.’ (at the 2:50 mark)

Hope they took the kids out for Happy Meals or something. I wonder how Justice compensated the kids in the popular song ‘D.A.N.C.E.’

I wonder what it would be like to be a child growing up in the city, going to a school with a name that was some sort of combination of letters and numbers (instead of the name of an astronaut/former President/supreme court justice/ regional historical icon). Wish I had some sort of inspired Teach for America bro as my teacher who inspired us to sing pop music hits that were filmed and ‘meant to go viral.’

Hope he makes a movie kind of like ‘Mr. Holland’s Opus’ + ‘youtube.’ I think the lead singer bro of Vampire Weekend was a Teach For America bro. I wonder if he got to opt out of his 2-3 year commitment after he ‘got famous’ and found a better way to pay off his Ivy League Stafford/Perkins loans.

“I used 2 rule the world.” -innercity kids b4 the grow up/Chris Martin

Do yall know who is the next Animal Collective? Really want to ‘look forward’ to an album again to ‘the point that it is unhealthy’ and leads ‘the internet’ to question ‘why’ we even listen to/like music.

Sort of wonder if the ‘conceptual-core’ genre of 2k9-2k10 will just be remembered as this ‘weird time’ where we ‘worried about backlash’ and never even ‘really appreciated the music.’ I just want to keep pretending I am some1 who ‘listens to music’ for ‘all the right reasons’ without considering the context by which I consume new music.

Here are general statements about my perception of how this album will sound without ‘actually hearing it’:

• I think it will be an album that ‘lingers around ur iTunes’ for a long time.
• I feel like this album will be ‘74% more accessible’ than Merriweather Post Pavillion.
• I feel like it will be 47% less authentic-core than Grizzly Bear’s album Veckatimest
• I feel like Passion Pit’s ‘best album’ will be in 2 albums (for no real reason), but they will eventually be considered ‘better’ and ‘more fun’ than Animal Collective as AnCo gets ‘too conceptual’ for people to even ‘pretend to appreciate any more.’
• Panda Bear will make the best album of 2k10, writing a song called “Bros Pt 2: He Seems Like a Chill Bro.”
• Animal Collective will eventually ‘break up’ but then get back together in 10 years, playing their first show at Coachella, then selling out large auditoriums for $50-$80 per ticket.

What are some predictions that yall have about the future of the Conceptual-Core genre?

I listen to the Animal Collectives on a weekly basis. I think I ‘like’ them because they are differentiated from ‘traditional music’ and ‘modern indie music.’ When I listen to them, I exist on a higher plane of musical appreciation and consume products for ‘all the right reasons.’ For the past couple of months, the whole world has been awaiting the LEAK of the album Merriweather Post Pavillion. I was one of them. I was not awaiting the chance to purchase physical copy of the album, but instead I was a proud member of the LEAK HUNTING army for this album. Fortunately, a conceptual Santa slid down my chimney to deliver the best xmas gift of all–the leak was officially released by the Internet around Christmas of 2k8.

When I first saw the album art for the new AnCo album, I knew it would be amazing. I knew the album was more than just a series of bloggable mp3s, and the album art was more than just a meme.

I like ‘looking forward to things’ because it is a gimmick that makes my life worth living. With all of this anticipation for the album release of what I perceived to be a relatively-niche band, I wonder if I am living in a world that is completely out of touch with ‘what real people listen to/consume/value in music. How BIG OF A DEAL is the new Animal Collective/what social constructs do I realisticially expect it to break down? Can they be 1 of the newest relevant crossover alt artists? Even if you put AnCo head2head with other ‘alternative artists’ who ‘have a worldwide universal appeal on a commercial/spiritual level’ and are regarded as ‘being culturally relevant’ and ‘progressive’ at the same time, do u think Animal Collective can compare to these bands?

Is Anco as approachable as U2?
Is Anco as approachable as the Coldplay?
Is Anco as approachable as Radiohead?
Is Anco as approachable as the Arcade Fire?
Is Anco as approachable as Feist?
Is Anco more/less approachable for Joe Suburbia to consume than _________?

Where does Animal Collective realistically sit in this hierarchy of critical acclaim vs. pop appeal vs. actually selling albums? I feel like they are sort of like a ‘really funny, progressive comedy that got cancelled from cable TV’ in band format, except they are a band so they don’t get ‘cancelled’–they get the opportunity to move forward become more authentic, letting their fan base ‘grow’ with them.

When I first started listening to them, they had a smaller following, and playing them in my car for a group of friends was often met with a lot of ‘what is this krazie noise, yall?’s. Back then, AnCo was way more acoustic/conceptual/NOISECORE/lofi/etc. These days, they are a bit more electro conceptual tribal. Animal Collective uses progressive samples and instruments to make ‘modern pop music.’ Not every one is ready to embrace this concept. Not every one is able to say ‘OMG. they have the pop sensibilities of the Beach Boys’ because they probably don’t read+regurgitate music tidbits & opinions from the internet on a daily/weekly basis.

Photo caption: Remember this album from 1989?

I remember when I saw AnCo live in the post-Strawberry Jam world, it was swarming with entrylevel alts who were looking for a more meaningful experience than just a ‘marginally dancey Cut Copy show.’ At Animal Collective concerts, people are willing 2 unite, kind of like meaningful core during its peak days (ie the DeathCab TRANSATLANTICISM era).

Do u remember OLD Animal Collective LIVE was like this, instead of a couple of dudes pressing buttons and ‘bobbing their heads to the music’ on stage? Were u ‘there’ b4 they were ‘big’?

(You probably got lost in this clip because it was s00 RAW and not ‘poppy enough’ 4 ur tastes.)

HRO is usually only able to analyze things from 2 perspectives:

• Where does it stand in constrant struggle between mainstream vs. alt?
• Does the product make my life more meaningful?

Animal Collective is an interesting case study when u analyze them with these 2 questions driving ur analysis. Kinda makes u wonder if they are the perfect storm for ‘existence within a malstream environment’.

Theoretically, I am living in a world where a progressive album is critically acclaimed/successful. Is this ‘utopia’ or am I just disconnected from reality / living in a world where my values are too internet-buzz-centric?

AnCo = Blog house? (probably just p4k house)

Animal Collective is an important band because they are one of the first ‘transcendent’ independent bands to gather most of their acclaim on the internet. While they probably had a few recordings before every one turned utilized the internet to find the newsest, alt-est music, you can’t really deny that they grew at a healthy rate in internet-acclaim-perception over the past couple of years. If you grow too fast, you will be discarded as inauthentic (The Black Kids). If you grow 2 slowly, no1 ever really identifies with ur brand and think that you are just a newsbit that has been around 2 long for no good reason. The internet is a difficult environment in which to grow because virality rates are difficult to control.

Most ‘revolutionary’ bands that douchebaggy music blogs+news sources+magazines cover have a life before and after the internet. Kind of like college rock bands around the year 2000. Bands like INTERPOL that were ‘good’ but then had to find a new life in an inauthentic altradio context. Or other bands kind of shriveled up and died after the internet made bands ‘release content+memes more frequently’ and some bands were unable to respond. If you think about AnCo, much of their ‘acclaim’ has come in the post-p4k era. Probably gaining a lot of steam back when Pitchfork anointment meant a little bit more to the ’standard pre-altbro music fan’ who still J.O.ed while reading p4k/there weren’t as many other sources that were ‘unearthing’ bands at the time. Now there are probably too many sources ‘unearthing’ shitty bands, so we are returning back to our Pitchfork + GorillaVsBear roots to prepare for the unknown year of 2k9.

It is important to remember that today’s ‘most connected’ music fans use the internet to judge what are the most relevant+progressive bands/brands. In the musicsphere, there are a few key tastemakers of different scales, and most of them have aligned to tell you that Animal Collective is relevant+progressive+transcendent. Keep in mind that the most relevant members of culture exist solely on the internet and can only value what is valued on the internet. Which band/meme/topic generates the most blog posts? Which 1 generates the most comments? Which 1 gets the most praise/transcends snark+hype resentment?

So I’m not sure if this internet-centric praise economy for Animal Collective means that they are ‘bigger’ than I think they are, or if we are just so caught up in what’s happening on the internet that we fail to realize ‘these conceptual bands don’t matter to most people and probably never will.’ So while you are ‘acclaimed’ by the top 0.5% of culturally relevant society, you have to understand that these people are the ones who are too smart to pay for music.

Fortunately, AnCo has a meaningful live show, which is always important to value in the ‘rise’ + ’sustainability’ of artists.

Animal Collective-Brother Sport “live at Midi festival ” 2007 French – Riviera (wish it didn’t take 2 years for this song 2 get recorded/leaked)

If u can’t tour + get a room of bros to buy t-shirts and vinyl albums for bros who don’t have record players, then u can’t ‘make it big’ in altville. Another factor to keep in mind is ‘how willing is ANCO to use the internet as a gimmick’ to maintain interest. It seems like in the past the internet has kind of ‘fucked them over’ when it comes to LEAKAGE, but it’s tough to say whether that worked for/against them. Will they ‘pull a GirlTalk/Radiohead’ and be the next band that the NY Times writes about because they ‘gave away their album for free’ and ‘have a culturally relevant following’?

******* THIS IS A CONCEPT POEM/HTML PIECE/ADVERTISEMENT *******

Always remember that you can do better.

You need 2 be the best.

If u make urself proud, u will make the critics happie.

Never give up.

Make ur parents proud.

There is always room for improvement.

I want 2
get an 11
from the
pitchfork medias
(The HRO EP: Coming Soon)

****************

The Eagerness to Elevate AnCo to be ‘A Conceptual Artist who has Garnered Mainstream Acclaim.’

There is nothing more annoying that Conceptual Artists/Bands who have allegedly garnered mainstream praise. For example, the Radioheads. Or maybe the zany broad BJORK. Maybe Sigur Ros or Arcade Fire (those 2 are a lil different/smaller). I think the main gimmick behind these bands is convincing yourself that their ‘product’ stands for something more than most music. They are pretty much a lifestyle brand for every sort of alternative ideal possible: social change, innovative instruments + recording techniques, reflections on humanity, usage of performance + visual art during the live show, environmental awareness, anti-War, embracing technology, innovative/meme-able music videos, having opinions on politics, and stuff like that which makes the band interesting/easy to write about.

I’d say bands on this level exist as sort of a ‘non-profit lifestyle brand’ and have a progressive simpleton fan base that can’t really ’see’ what’s going on. The bands are probably all way more ‘deliberate’ than we give them credit for, but also kind of excessively ‘grassroots/organic’ in an annoying way. U kinda just want them 2 embrace their mainstreamness and focus on being mediocre. The people who ‘genuinely’ like these bands are not worth taking seriously because they didn’t really know how to use the internet to find their ‘favourite band.’ Instead, they picked the artist on what they perceive to be ‘the extreme left’ in the lineup of mainstream artists. In essense, they want to identify with generic alternative ideals that they think a band is supposed to represent. So while the artists themselves may be ‘truly expressing themselves’, it is hard for an internet-centric bro who ‘has the whole internet at his fingertips’ to take these artists seriously when we have found a whole new world that makes Bjork/Radiohead seem like a concept/band for simpletons (kinda like The Matrix).

“I h8 AnCo because the people who like Animal Collective are s00 annoying.”

After understanding the internet-era and the pressure for bands/labels to create these non-profit lifestyle brands, you can now begin to explore the ‘types of fans who love Animal Collective.’ They are probably a sampling from the absolute worst type of people to ‘talk about music.’ In their world, music is the most important art form, and Animal Collective is the master of the arts. Animal Collective shits on everything else, whether or not is art. Most of the most ardent Animal Collective fans are ‘failed creative-types’ who have convinced themselves that they ‘could have made the music that Animal Collective made’ if they ‘just saved up some money to buy ________(type of instrument).’

These are Anco fan stereotypes:

a) the bros who are waaay too connected to ‘new bands’ and ‘music news’ and ‘whatz goin on’ in the world of independent music
b) bros who ‘don’t care about what’s going on in the altmusicsphere’ because they ‘only care about how music makes them FEEL’
c) bros who pretend to only care about judging music based on ‘how it sounds’ but secretly check P4k rankings on a weekly basis to construct what they ‘like’ based on how they perceive the masses are digesting new content.

I feel like the most annoying thing about Animal Collective fans is their ‘evangelistic’ tendencies. It’s kind of like a ‘cult’ that is asking you to ‘trash your pre-existing tastes and experiences when it comes to music, and join the AnCo army.’ To them, Animal Collective is a band that satisfies ‘what they are looking for in a band’ from a musical and social perspective. They have told themselves that in their perfect version of society, every one will participate in communal sound sessions. Every sound ever made in this perfect society will be recorded, and later used in a meaningful song. We will all have animal/weird names and be inducted into THE ANIMAL COLLECTIVE at sundown on Sunday nights. We will sacrifice humans who do not appreciate our society.

Animal Collective fans may or may not be as ‘differentiated’ as they think they are. Animal Collective fans may or may not exist on a more organic/authentic plane of existence than ‘generic music fans.’

AnCo and ‘Crossoverability’

I feel like if you talked to most ardent AnCo cultmembers, they would tell you that Anco is ‘eventually going to take over the radio and everything on FM radio will sound like AnCo.’ After thinking about AnCo’s place in the internet-perception economy, and how that has nothing to do with ‘the empty mainstream BritSpears world’, it is easy 2 see that AnCo will never ‘cross over.’ They will stay in a good place for them–Kings of Smart People Who Accumulate Ideas, Opinions, and Art From the Internet. I think one of the most important tests for an artist’s crossoverability is ‘Could I put this on a mix CD for 1 of my parents, or is it too far out?’ I’d say 1/10 Animal Collective songs are mix-cd-able for your parents, and that rate is just too low to expect tweens who listen to Fall Out Boy/Pink/Brokencyde to ‘get’ AnCo.

I feel like Panda Bear’s “Person Pitch” is one of the most important catalysts for AnCo 2.0. It was Noah “Panda Bear” Lennox who really ‘created the cultural marketplace’ for Animal Collective as a band. His songs are more approachable for people without a conceptual appreciation of music. In addition, ‘Panda Bear’ helped us buy into the idea of The Animal Collective, as opposed to them just being ‘weird dudes who make weird music that I am apparently supposed to like.’ Panda Bear is the bro who made the Brand more authentic. Otherwise, there is a chance that most of their albums would just be sort of college radio concept rock fodder.

Never underestimate the significance of branding. I think most people who are ‘really into Animal Collective’ don’t really understand branding/would tell you that ‘they are not a brand–they are just passionate musicians making art.’ They have done something relatively impossible–making a brand that is ‘authentic’ and ‘transparent’ and ‘immune to hype’ and ‘invincible against negative criticism’ and ‘opening up new artistic spaces which leave critics unable to evaluate it with an existing set of standards.’

One of AnCo’s best gimmicks is operating for ‘art’s sake’ as well as they can. Instead of ‘creating excessive blurbably content’, they usually let the Music New Meme economy generate their own memes about what AnCo is up to. They will definitely have an infinite life as an ‘acclaimed alt band’, but their core competencies don’t really mean that they will ‘blow up’ because only really ‘guitar rock n roll with male singer’ alt bands or ‘artsy girls who play multiple instruments and sing kinda kute songs’ can CROSS OVER.

If anything, AnCo is lucky to ‘crossover’ to people who don’t use the internet. This is kind of like the genre of FestivalBros/ drug users who listen to old music / weirdo old people who like new stuff that they think matches their weird personal brand. Just can’t imagine “Brother Sport” playing at a high school homecoming dance. As meaningful as you think it would be, it probz just won’t happen ever, yall.

Generic Music Criticism is Still Important to People?

I think the music reviews of Merriweather Post Pavvy will probably be ‘the last great music reviews’ of all time. In our current information economy, it takes less time to sample an album than it does to read a review with big words describing sound + references to bands that we don’t know + references to tidbits of information about the band that we don’t know. Are Music Reviews meant to be read before or after a reader hears the album? I feel like people use them to a) find out what is good, usually based only on a number (9.6/10) and b) to reaffirm that an album is good after they have already decided that they liked an album. If I were running a review site, I would try to keep everything positive so that I wouldn’t alienate one, kind of like Amazon reviews. In order to build a meaningful online brand, you must pick a type of music that you consider to be irrelevant + inauthentic, and continue to give these bands poor scores.

Now that we have finally found ‘the perfect album’, I think we really need to re-evaluate what a ‘music review’ means in today’s consumer economy. Should ‘music reviews’ be renamed ‘product reviews’ in order 2 stay relevant/appeal to self-aware markets?

We are hearing too much about these artists that were ‘cultivated on the internet’ in sources like magazines + weekly MTV shows. h8 living at a time when magazines are ‘going to the internet’ to report about ‘what’s happening’, so it feels like we are getting bombarded with too much praise for these Blogville AllStars. (just want magazines 2 be burned, yall). I think consumers find solace in the internet because they can block out this formulaic praise/writing/’journalism’ and just sample the music directly. It’s also just annoying 2 hear about artists that you have already aligned ur personal brand with 1.5 years ago–it’s kinda like ur mom ‘reminding u 2 file ur 1040EZ/clean your room for the 5th time.’ It just makes u want 2 have a whole new life without being reminded of the traditional constructs of society. When I listen to Animal Collective, I may or may not still live in our mnstrm society.

SWOT ANALYSIS on AnCo

Strengths:

• Conceptual
• U don’t really know what they are singing about (in a good way)
• they sound ‘good’
• They are a well-implemented brand
• Core audience of evangelists
• They have the internet perception economy on their side
• ‘nice guys’
• meaningful album art
• ability to create LEAK DEMAND

Weaknesses:

• The sing a lot about fatherhood but might not have that many fans who are fathers
• Don’t play enough songs from ‘their most recent album’ at shows
• too experimental?
• Too much LEAK buzz when they are not on a Lil Wayne level yet
• They all live in different parts of the world
• They rule the world (they used 2 rule the world) -the coldplays

Opportunities:

• Less Avey Tare?
• More Panda?
• License more songs for commercials
• Come out with a 6 song EP per 6 months and ’stay relevant’ forever
• The death of jam bands and festival and the rise of jam bands at festivals
• Starting a mini record label that exploits bands that have a similar aesthetic to build an economy for ‘nontraditional music’
• Record deal with the iTunes LBL
• play at the Obama inauguration
• We will never know if they are ‘not good’ any more or if they are just ‘too much’ for our mainstream ears.

Threats:

• What happens if Avey Tare / Panda leave the band?
• They might get ‘disenfranchised’ with the ‘music scene’
• They will focus on their families and take a 10 year break
• Geologist will make a solo album that ‘kinda sux’ and ruins the brand
• Deakin is better than the current 3 members of anCo
• Hype Backlash in 2k11
• Getting ‘too progressive’ before our ears are ready for it
• turning into ass holes who care too much about ’social change.’

N e ways… haven’t listened to Merriweather Post Pavillion in a meaningful context, so I don’t know how good it is. Might need 2 buy some Peyote/heroin and drive to a desert.

Hope yall take some time to think about the internet-world that u exist in, and how Animal Collective is a band that has grown to be relevant alongside web-publishers rise to relevancy. It is a symbiotic relationship. We need them to be ‘considered good/relevant’ so that we can be ‘considered good/relevant.’ Now that they have ‘made it’, webzines/blogs/pitchforks can pat themselves on the back because this is our child. We raised them. We pulled them from the womb of the obscurity, raised them, fed them, nourished them, created them, loved them, used them, experienced them, grown with them, and now they have grown to have an alledged impact on modern society.

<3 u AnCo <3
thnx 4 ‘making us think’ abt ‘reality’/'music’/'art’/'media’/'journalism’/'blogs’/'technology’/etc.
I guess yall win no matter what yall do. Kinda jeal.

We are living in a Post Merriweather Post Pavillion World,
And I am a Conceptual Bro.

Here is the original page, describing the masterpiece “Bros” by Panda Bear.

Here is the Carlesfork 500 version


XX BONUS OLD PANDA BEAR MEME XX


///Just trying 2 re-interpret the world in a way that every1 can relate 2.

Does n e 1 know if this album is ever going 2 come out?

I downloaded the leak, but it wasn’t as good as Here Comes the Indian and/or Sung Tongs.

What makes you mainstream is what makes you alt.
What makes you alt is what makes you mainstream.

MNSTRM=ALT

Title: Panda Alt Bro: The Journey To Find Urself
Created: August 16, 2008

When an altbr0 listens to Panda Bear’s “Comfy In Nautica” he experiences the exact feeling of rapture a regular br0 feels upon hearing Journey’s hit anthem “Don’t Stop Believing.”

Mainstream = Alt is a continuing eArt Gallery presented by the Popular Internet Weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF.

[meme hijack from Tumbledore]

Polar Bears just work better than Panda Bears in 2k8.5 and beyond. I think every one is just tired of AZNs (Panda Bears are AZNs), and they want a creature from a more alt-part of the globe. Polar Bears are pretty alt because they live alone in the Arctic Circle.

Remember PERSON PITCH? I can’t even remember who I was when I thought was the top album of 2kForeverAgo.

[HoboGestapo Photography]

Sorry Panda Bears… you all guys’s time is up. Kind of like Sugar Ray said: “We all have our 14 minutes and 59 seconds of fame every morning when we wake up there’s a halo hanging from the corner of my I just want to fly.”


XX BONUS INSIDER COOLHUNTING HINT XX
Invest in SUN BEARS. No1 knows about them, but they are going to be HUGE in 2k9. They are kind of like the ‘interesting looking model who isn’t attractive but keeps u attention bc of how weird they look’ of bears.

Research more types of bears and determine what’s next after the Polar Bear
http://www.cityofportsmouth.com/School/dondero/msm/bear/brtypes.html

Panda Bear is sort of like the Spice Girls back during their prime. It’s the kind of thing that every one listens to, and we all have a reason to justify why we enjoy it, even if we feel like a fag for knowing the lyrics to “Wannabe.” Whether you are a stoner who likes ‘trippy’ music, an aspiring lofi musician, or a musicphile who enjoys music that makes his life more meaningful, Panda Bear is a demographically transcendant artist.

So should I like El Guincho just because he sounds kind of like Panda Bear, and even uses the same sampler? What should I do to carve out an authentic niche in which I could authentically appreciate El Guincho without always thinking “I am only listen to this because it sounds like Panda Bear, except this is in Spanish.”

Here is an MP3 from each artist, if you are not already familiar with their sounds. Feel free to sample as you read through the head2head matchup of Panda Bear and El Guincho.

[MP3]
El Guincho Antillas
Panda Bear Comfy in Nautica

Panda Bear Vs. El Guincho: Head-to-Head Matchup

1. Who is more attractive?

El Guincho kind of just burst into America, and he kind of looks like a guy who recently discovered the simplicity of the American Apparel aesthetic. His foreign scruffiness might have you thinking that he’s a Brazilian, but he is actually from Spain.

Panda Bear is sort of like a clean cut boy. Luckily he is a concept music star, or else he might be the substitute teacher who had no control of his class. However, if you had to take one home to meet your mom, it would definitely be Panda Bear.

EDGE: Panda Bear

2. Which one is Dirtier?

El Guincho looks like a guy from ‘the wrong side of the tracks,’ even before it became cool and affordable to live there. Actually, maybe he did move there when it became cool.
Edge: El Guincho

3. Which one is crazier?
I think it’s easier for self-aware people to identify with many themes with Panda Bear’s music, which probably makes him pretty crazy. However, the thing that makes Panda Bear the craziest is this short film that he stars in called “Fecal Matters,” made before his rise to fame. You can see some early allusions to themes that would become prevalent in Animal Collective+Panda Bear songs when it comes to questioning concepts like ‘fitting in’ and ‘normalcy.’

This is actually one of the best short/art films that I’ve ever been exposed to.
Huge Edge: Panda Bear

4. Which one has crappier music videos?
El Guincho’s “Kalise”

Panda Bear’s “Comfy in Nautica”

Both videos are pretty terrible. They were probably put together by a friend of each artist who smokes too much weed, and has aspirations of being a filmmaker.
Edge: EVEN

5. Which probably has a more enjoyable live shows?
Check out this video of El Guincho live. It seems like he has the opportunity to brand his live experience as GirlTalk+PandaBear=ElGuincho. There are a lot of people on-stage dancing passionately to his music. On the other hand, Panda Bear live seems like it might be one of those concerts that you can’t really enjoy because there are way too many douchebags in the crowd. And you’re not 16 any more, so ‘being in the front’ of the show isn’t your highest priority any more. (Panda Bear live video here.)
Edge: EVEN

6. Which has more forced-fans?
El Guincho is relatively new, I sort of roll my eyes when people [HIGHLY REC] him to me. I have slowly come to terms with people I hate putting Panda Bear in their profile interests. Even though you’re probably tired of people saying that Panda Bear sounds sooo much like Brian Wilson, I think Animal Collective Superfans are usually pretty easy to tune out. People who rave about El Guincho are more than likely people who are intent on being heard.
Slight Edge: El Guincho

7. Which has done more drugs/Is Obsessed with Youth?
“Person Pitch” Cover Art = Best Self-Aware Photoshop Aesthetic of all time?

Edge: Panda Bear

8. Who is more likely to be in a supergroup with a song in a Crayola commercial?

Can we undervalue the power of Animal Collective? Do you like Geologist more than you like El Guincho?
Advantage: Panda Bear

9. Who is better to namedrop in conversation?
If you hang out in a group of alternative bros who enjoy liking new things in packs, I’d say El Guincho is a safe pick, particularly if you spent most of 2007 listening to “Person Pitch” and “Strawberry Jam.” However, if you are trying to inspire a mainstreamer to feel genuinely alternative by appreciating music that “doesn’t sound like anything he or she has ever heard before,” then Panda Bear is for you. Panda Bear is definitely 100x more worthy of being included on your ‘desert island’ iPod playlist.

Edge: It Depends

10. Which 1 is better?
I guess it just depends on what u value… every1’s different, yall.
Edge: Only God Has Answers to Important Questions

So what do you think? Are these two artists worth comparing?
Did this analysis get us anywhere?
Which 1 is better? Which 1 is more meaningful?
Are comparisons fair in any context?
If we don’t compare similar products, how can we find truth?
What is art, n e ways?

While we may not be able to agree on which artists we like more, we can all agree that both are great for sales of the SP-404 sampler.

Myspaces
http://www.myspace.com/elguincho
www.myspace.com/rippityrippity

XX BONUS PANDA BEAR SHORT FILM XX

[HIGHLY RECCD 400 Blows Ending]

Maybe instead of alternative entrepreneurs starting their own ‘clothing line’ by screen printing statements about a particular target market’s lifestyle on t-shirts, they will now only have to invest in a bucket + a colored substance. Is the ‘dye running up the shirt’ look more conceptually justifiable to mass alternative markets than a graphic tee?

Remember the time that Panda Bear (AKA Noah Lennox) and his wife designed some clothes?

Maybe they will move beyond ‘cut shit up’ process, and start using the ‘dip shit in dye’ technique.

[Photo via He Will Hunt Your Face]