HIPSTER RUNOFF

It's always weird when a band/famous person becomes an advocate for change, especially when they are 'raising awareness' for a problem that I wasn't really aware of. One could make the argument 'out of sight, out of mind' is a good thing. Like if you knew too much about the world's problems, then u might become paralyzed with fear/h8 for humanity, realizing that 'things would never change' and evil will always live on this planet. But it's also kinda good because if you know more 'issues', then you are more interesting.

I was 'completely unaware' that clubbing seals was a huge problem in our world. I have honestly never seen any1 wearing or eating seal. For some reason, I have 'never had a desire' to wear seal/miscellaneous exotic animal fur. It seems out of my price range, since I am just a suburban upper-middle class alt, and I would rather spend that kind of money on consumer technology instead of clothes. Maybe if Am Appy 'branded' animal fur, I would be interested.

Clubbing seals 'seems unchill.' Like some1 who listens to horrorcore music would be a seal clubbing bro.

I feel like 'seal clubbing bros' should be eliminated from the Earth. I am glad that I learned about this cause. I have an opinion about it, and I understand that is wrong, but I am not sure what else I can do to prevent companies and humans from clubbing seals. It seems unchill to skin animals just to wear them. Like the people who value animal fur are 'severely troubled' and have 'a very stupid perspective of the world'--like they didn't go to school and learn stuff. I think that some1 needs to make a movie about seals similar to 'March of the Penguins' so that people think that seals can have a group brand that is 'cute enough to save/care about.' It seems like humans care about cute animals.

Really just happy that AnCo 'made it.' Feel happy that a band from my range of tastes has ascended into 'activist relevancy.'

Can't believe AnCo is such a relevant celebrity. As famous as the homosexual blogger, Pedro Hilton.

Even larger than the star of the recent teen dramedy "She's All That."

AnCo can do as much change as the world for star of 'Laguna Beach Cribs', Brody Jenner.

I feel excited for AnCo. A lot of people think that AnCo 'is going to cross over.' They keep waiting to hear them on the mainstream radio. I feel like 'lending ur brand' to a PETA campaign seems like u have 'made it.' Like if Pitchfork had some sort of 'humanitarian ratings', this would probably be around a 9.6.

Celebrities Speak Out Against the Seal Slaughter.

'U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of fabrics.'
-Panda Bear, 2k9.8

'U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of sounds.'
-Panda Bear, 2k4evr

Feel like my whole life make sense now that 'Animal Collective' has truly become 1 with the Animal Kingdom Collective of Real Animals.

Honestly feel sad/disturbed after watching seals being murdered. Will probably think of seals being clubbed every time I listen to AnCo from now on, even when the themes are happy. :-(

Vintage HRO post [via 2k8.1]
Remember the time Panda Bear and his wife designed hoodies?

Previous Animal Rights Posts
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/animal-rights

I feel really confused by the mass media today. From what I understand, traditional news sources are dying, and new types of social media, such as blogs, twitter, and youtube are taking over the jobs of journalists, etc. People are reporting the news themselves'. We don't need 'bullshit talking heads' delivering stories, or an anonymous newsfeed telling us the news. We can get it 'straight from the _____'s mouth.'

N e ways... I recently followed 2 stories on the internet that were very social-media centric. 1 of them happened in the Iran and 1 of them happened in our United States. Still not sure which 1 is a bigger deal/which was a worse situation. Feel like the downside of 'social media' is that u can't really tell what is important, and what is just a meme, since it is on the internet.

Meme #1: Video of Iranian Girl Getting Shot + dying after riots
I saw a video of some woman named Neda who lived in Iran, until she protested against the 'bullshit' going down in their country, and got shot by the government.

I feel like she is 'a victim.' First I thought it was just some sort of 'viral marketing campaign' for Final Destination X, but then realized 'oh shit--this is real. damn. thought it would be removed from youtube but guess they are keeping it up since it is an Iran meme.'

Meme #2: Perez Hilton getting 'assaulted' by Will.I.Am 4 calling him a 'faggot'
But then I saw this meme about Perez Hilton getting 'punched in the face' for calling Will.I.Am a 'faggot.' This is a video response about 'the incident' by famous celeb blogger 'Perez Hilton.'

I feel like he might be 'a bigger victim' than the lady from Iran. From what I understand, millions of people read his site every day, and this makes him possibly more important than most news sources. Basically, his brand is more important than ur local news and pitchfork combined. Sorta weird 2 think about.

Not sure which 1 was a bigger 'injustice.' Not sure which 1 is more representative of an innocent person being 'fucked over' by an 'evil' in the world. Feel like Perez Hilton might have taught us a more universal lesson, which was 'never question the sexuality of a black person.' Feel like he taught us that black ppl are 'insanely homophobic' and that u should never use strong buzzwords that question their sexuality. Might also have taught us to not let 'i.r.l. faggots' / 'emotionally immature ppl' express themselves on the internet.

I think Perez Hilton might be more of a 'victim' because he used twitter to 'call the police' instead of 'dialing 911.' Hopefully 1 day u will be able to tweet @911.

Feel like 'Perez Hilton' is DEAD SERIOUS. He is using his 'assault' as a platform for victims against violence. Based on his vlog, u could assume that 'the world is about to end.'

(keut vneck/pouty face)

but the Iranian girl is 'actually dead'. Think she might have a more 'authentic' type of cause behind her, even if she can't post a response vlog [via being a ghost].

Feel like she possibly 'died 4 more' or is 'a more relevant victim of violence.'

It's kinda weird how news is becoming like indie music--we can't tell the difference between 'whatz hyped' and 'what is actually important/relevant.' Feel like there's a huge burden on me to sort through this kind of stuff, and I'm not sure if I'm prepared for it. h8 technology.

Who is the more authentic victim of violence?

Editor's note: I don't think that Little Boots in the next Uffie, but I just wanted to create a 'controversial' headline that made u think harder about important issues like WHO IS THE NEXT ______?

****************

Yall. Have yall heard of the bloghouse artist LITTLE BOOTS? I read about her on the popular mp3 blog 'perez hilton.' She seems like she might be the next Madonna / Lady Gaga / Feist / Every Authentic Female Artist 'rolled into one.'

I think she has been around, but I have never given her a chance until I saw that Fred Falke remixed her.
From what I can tell, she has a youtube channel that helps her to 'market herself to tweens', and she enjoys covering songs written by tween sensations.

I think her youtube videos go a long way to prove that she 'has a good voice', 'can play the piano', and most importantly, uses some sort of square gadget that makes electro music.

I think I might 'develop a crush on her' and dream about one day being in the room featured on her youtube channel. Then she could write a song about us 'falling in love' and 'becoming youtube sensations together.'

Does n e 1 know if Little Boots is the next ________? Kinda feel like putting pressure on some1 to conform to my expectations of a similar looking/sounding artist, only for them to fail since they only know how 2 be themselves.

[MP3]
Little Boots New In Town (Fred Falke Remix)

Artists on Social Networks
http://www.youtube.com/user/littlebootsvideos
http://www.myspace.com/littlebootsmusic
http://www.myspace.com/fredfalkemusic

XX BONUS FRED FALKE REMIX COVERAGE XX
I was reading the twitterblog run by the lead singer of Grizzly Bear, Edward Droste. In order to inject life & viral buzz into the internet/tastemaking news blogs, he alluded to a Fred Falke Remix of their hit song "Two Weeks." [MP3 live on Letterman]

Story broken exclusively by Guerilla Vs Bear

I wonder if the LEAK hunt for this remix will be as intense as the hunt for MPP/the Soulwax Remix of MGMT. Feel like I've outgrown 'leaks' and just want 2 buy things on iTunes 4 the rest of my life.

In this post, I will present four different members of the alternative community.
It is up to you to decide which alt is the most authentic.

Alt #1: The Bro Who Bleached His Hair


Alt #2: Free spirited facepaint eye mask swoop bang multi-coloured hair alt

Alt #3: Alt with Natural Highlights Who Hangs out with Possible Alt Celebs (the era of Excessive Hair Dying regrets)

Alt #4: post-PeteWentz simple raw alt in grey t-shirt which represents 'being comfy in my clothes/with myself' circa brainwashed smile // an IHaveFoundHappinessBro

Which of these bros is the most authentic version of ALT?
The purpose of this post is to question what 'authenticity' truly means.
Were you more authentic when u were 'searching for your optimal personal brand'?
Or are you always the most authentic in the present?
Do you have to be 'skinnie' to be 'in touch with humanity', or is there a certain level of 'vulnerability' that you can experience while you are a chunker [via insecurities]?

Is it important to 'feel good about yourself' to have a bloggable personal brand?

[Photos by Mario Lavandeira]

Is any1 else nervous/excited abt the future?  In the future, people will finally be able to express who we rlly are.  No more 'being conservative' just 2 'fit in.'  In the future, we will all be authentic.  The clothes at our local mall will finally represent our progressive personal brands.  We will all be friends with people who 'truly' 'understand' who we 'are.'  We will embrace, and take photographs, and our moments will live forever.

In the future, all women will be forced to have bangs that span at least (0.5 * the circumference) of their head.  Each woman will be identified by origami corsages of various colours.

In the future, we will all fuck one another, no matter what type of hole we have.  We will not 'make love' to people/genders--we will make love to souls.

In the future, we will all have beautiful, authentic souls.

When I graduated from High School (got a G.E.D. cuz I outgrew a lot of the social bullshit rlly quickly) and made a 10 year plan, I realized that I wanted a job that not only provided financial security, but more importantly projected an image that enabled people to think that I am 'cool' and 'passionate about what I do at the same time.' Picking a career is a difficult, soul-searching journey/ongoing quest for self-awareness+actualization.

When you are building a personal brand, you want a brand so strong that people want to emulate it. Kinda like Michael Jackson when he was in the process of turning white. You want other people to want your life.

Picking your authentic alt career is difficult. Sometimes it takes a lot of hard work. Sometimes it means 'standing up 2 ur parentz bullshit expectations' and/or 'societal norms.' It means taking risks, going to college, not going to college, changing your major, taking a year off, and transferring to a school where u r socially comfortable+'academically stimulated.' It means being yourself and being some one else. While 'wanting 2 make ur parents proud' is an innate within all humans, authentic alts are willing to rage against this desire. Your pride is the most important thing in the world. Your pride, your terms.

This is ur life.
WHO DO U WANT 2 B?

//////
HIPSTER RUNOFF PRESENTS
//////
THE MOST AUTHENTIC ALTERNATIVE CAREERS
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The Guy who works the soundboard at concerts. He knows a lot about sound quality, systems, and bands.

DJ at a shitty radio station/college radio station/guy who is affiliated with a university 5+ years after graduating & not getting a real job.

"Door guy" who multitasks as a bouncer/ticket tearer/janitor.

Buffalo Exchange employee

Am Appy employee

postpostironic McDonalds employee

Start an indie band that is better at 'looking like an indie band' than it is at making music

Start a web 2.0 company

Start the first myspace profile

Work for a web marketing company who tries to get products/services/memes to go viral for companies who don't 'get' how the internet works. h8 when 'big businesses' don't understand the importance of the meme economy.

Work at Costco

Be a Zany Doctor

Work at a free spirited, local coffee shop

Work at Starbucks (great benefits, yall)

Go 2 beauty school.

Learn photoshop/become a designer. Carles is certified in Photoshop CS1.

Transition your name into a fashion label / be a judge on a Bravo show / make clothes for keut women.

Buy a video camera and make a lil meaningful film.

Start a blog!

Go on a Bravo Show/pretend u r 'into the design sciences.'

Become an altCEO // start a 'plain tee shirt company' that is 'fueled by legal Mexis'

Spend ur whole life 'becoming good at the internet' for no real reason.

[via Designnotes]

Tattoo artist

Apple Store Employee

Blipster Apple Store Employee

Make a viral vid


Note: Working in a record store is no longer an authentic alternative career in the postMP3 blog era.

************
Yall have a lot of options to express your personal brands. I'm sure I left out tons of options. Feel free to add some more to the comments.

In conclusion, it is just important to always remember the power of your alternative self, and the power of alternative free will. You are not functioning within the implied expectations of society. You will justify your life at any cost. You want people to understand that you are at your job for a reason. Even if you are just 'working at a coffee shop before you move to NYC to get a job at a design firm after you get your portfolio of doodles+MSPaint files together.'

Never give up on you. You are special. Eventually, you will find a way to get paid for just being yourself. You have a unique perspective on the world, and eventually, you will find a way to let people know 'who u really are', establishing a platform where people will listen 2 u, and most importantly, want 2 b u. (kinda like God/Michael Jordan/theGirlTalk/Macauly Culkin circa Home Alone).

Did Members Only jackets come out in 2006? Or 1906? It's tough to tell. I wonder if they will be here forever. I feel like people who wear Members Only Jackets are either:

• authentic-in-a-bad-way alpha dog alt bros pretending to be alt 'men'
• mainstreamers trying to be NOT that alt, but still make it known that they are 'bein a little edgy 2nite'
• old men
• celebrities who have professional stylists who dress them much like good moms dress their kids to go to elementary school.

But ya, I love throwing a MembsOnly Jacket over my purple AA hoodie whenever it is below 70 degrees.

BTW, I did some research and the MEMBERS ONLY website looks like garbage. I'd expect this kind of site from a startup streetwear company, but not from an 'iconic' brand like Membies Onlie.
http://www.membersonlystyle.com/

XX BONUS COVERAGE XX
Members Only Commercial from 1982/the future.

I read in a sports business blog that this ad will be played during next year's Super Bowl.

I'm gonna be trying to make an alt-sandwich.

BURNING QUESTIONS ABOUT MAKING AN ALT SANDY:
Who should be the bread?
Who should be the meat?
What should I use as a cum rag?
A hoodie, a graphic tee, or the blue streak in Perez's hair?

<3 fggts & alt mainstream girls <3

These two alternative mainstream girls love their Big Ghey Uncle because:
a) he takes them to PinkBerry to talk about their problems!
b) they wear the same kute clothes since their uncle has the self-concept of a 15 year old girl
c) they hang out together on myspace and try to get hot guys to send them cock pix.
d) he convinced their moms to let them put a streak of pink/blue/green in their hair
e) they get to practice giving him tugjobs, but it doesn't matter cuz he's ghey
f) He buys them 6-packs of wine coolers on the weekends
g) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Hey Readers. I decided to film a personal greeting for you. Next year you'll be seeing a lot more of me, doing vlogs and just gettin' buzzed and seeing what happens when the camera is rolling.

Pitchfork and Perez Hilton have been writing all of this crap about Natalie Portman.

She has great taste in music. She is a humanitarian. She went to college. She made a playlist for Entertainment Weekly that showcases her love for freak folk. She is the real-life version of her characters in "V for Vendetta" and "Garden State" combined. She wears wrist bands for causes. She goes to conferences where important people are talking.

From Pitchfork:

Portman also revealed herself as something of a freak folkie to EW.com, saying "I love this whole movement now with Antony and Devendra and CocoRosie and Sufjan Stevens," though she also claimed, "Stevie Wonder is probably my No. 1 [favorite artist]. And Radiohead, the White Stripes-- they're modern-day classics." 

She also downplayed her role in launching the Shins into the stratosphere, telling EW.com, "The Shins are the ones who created their own success. No one is gonna think a sound is great just because I say so. They hear the songs, and that's what decides it for them."

Don't you secretly hate the person in your group of friends who acts 'globally aware' and says stuff like that?

We think she should focus on being a more realistic role model. Like some one for those kids who aren't going to go to college, and get an Associate's Degree in fashion/design/hair styling/ auto repair, etc. She could probably really cross over if she made a film about a girl who is myspace all day, goes out to the movies with her friends to see the new Wes Anderson film, has a Sidekick, and takes a lot of pictures of herself throughout the whole day.

I think it's time we stop holding it against teens for glorifying the Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan type of lifestyle that they'll never achieve. Instead, we should work to create a less lethal, more accessible version of that lifestyle for the masses.

[MP3]
The Shins Caring is Creepy

It's good to be alive to enjoy Kanye West. He truly is a complete media experience.

I think the best part about Kanye seems to be his team of advisors. Whether it's some one telling him about "the cool new indie band" that he has to sample, or who ever updates his blog using his unique voice, I'm pretty intrigued by Kanye. His blog is a probably going to be more important to my Google Reader over the next year than Perez Hilton, especially if he keeps posting videos of his performances with comments like "peep the scarf."

It's also pretty funny to see his love for the Feist video "One Evening", and also Bat For Lashes' "What's A Girl to Do." Hopefully he'll rap over those songs like he rapped over Peter Bjorn and John's "Young Folks."

Kanye is a model hipster in that he seems to be "in the know" about "what to be into," like music, fashion, pop culture, viral videos, etc. It's just funny to think that, in theory, he doesn't have the time to waste on the internet like we do in order to "acquire" any sort of "taste."

Visit the Kanye Blog that you've already heard about:
http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/

MP3: Kanye West - Young Folks
MP3: Bat For Lashes - What's a Girl To Do? (You should listen to this if you haven't heard it yet).

Buy Kanye West's Graduation at Amazon.

Since Britney Spears' "Gimme More" is the #1 track in iTunes, Perez Hilton has called upon America to support Feist to take down Britney.

Feist wonders if this is what she wanted.

Perez Hilton has a great argument, though:

You know the song. 1,2,3,4 is the tune from the new iPod commercial!

It’s an awesome song and you HAVE to own it. And if you already bought, then buy it again, y’all.

Read Entry Here. I think Perez Hilton mismanaged his own image, but that's just my take. Before it's all said and done, he'll definitely had quadruple bypass surgery. I read a blog that said he is addicted to Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers and Wendy's 5 piece nuggets.

Just download this Feist remix instead. It's 'more fun' for your 'on the go' lifestyle.

MP3: Feist - 1-2-3-4 (VanShe Technologic Remix)

Buy Feist at Amazon.