I was ‘completely unaware’ that clubbing seals was a huge problem in our world. I have honestly never seen any1 wearing or eating seal. For some reason, I have ‘never had a desire’ to wear seal/miscellaneous exotic animal fur. It seems out of my price range, since I am just a suburban upper-middle class alt, and I would rather spend that kind of money on consumer technology instead of clothes. Maybe if Am Appy ‘branded’ animal fur, I would be interested.

Clubbing seals ’seems unchill.’ Like some1 who listens to horrorcore music would be a seal clubbing bro.

I feel like ’seal clubbing bros’ should be eliminated from the Earth. I am glad that I learned about this cause. I have an opinion about it, and I understand that is wrong, but I am not sure what else I can do to prevent companies and humans from clubbing seals. It seems unchill to skin animals just to wear them. Like the people who value animal fur are ’severely troubled’ and have ‘a very stupid perspective of the world’–like they didn’t go to school and learn stuff. I think that some1 needs to make a movie about seals similar to ‘March of the Penguins’ so that people think that seals can have a group brand that is ‘cute enough to save/care about.’ It seems like humans care about cute animals.

Really just happy that AnCo ‘made it.’ Feel happy that a band from my range of tastes has ascended into ‘activist relevancy.’

Can’t believe AnCo is such a relevant celebrity. As famous as the homosexual blogger, Pedro Hilton.

Even larger than the star of the recent teen dramedy “She’s All That.”

AnCo can do as much change as the world for star of ‘Laguna Beach Cribs’, Brody Jenner.

I feel excited for AnCo. A lot of people think that AnCo ‘is going to cross over.’ They keep waiting to hear them on the mainstream radio. I feel like ‘lending ur brand’ to a PETA campaign seems like u have ‘made it.’ Like if Pitchfork had some sort of ‘humanitarian ratings’, this would probably be around a 9.6.

Celebrities Speak Out Against the Seal Slaughter.

‘U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of fabrics.’
-Panda Bear, 2k9.8

‘U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of sounds.’
-Panda Bear, 2k4evr

Feel like my whole life make sense now that ‘Animal Collective’ has truly become 1 with the Animal Kingdom Collective of Real Animals.

Honestly feel sad/disturbed after watching seals being murdered. Will probably think of seals being clubbed every time I listen to AnCo from now on, even when the themes are happy. :-(

Vintage HRO post [via 2k8.1]
Remember the time Panda Bear and his wife designed hoodies?

Previous Animal Rights Posts
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/animal-rights

N e ways… I recently followed 2 stories on the internet that were very social-media centric. 1 of them happened in the Iran and 1 of them happened in our United States. Still not sure which 1 is a bigger deal/which was a worse situation. Feel like the downside of ’social media’ is that u can’t really tell what is important, and what is just a meme, since it is on the internet.

Meme #1: Video of Iranian Girl Getting Shot + dying after riots
I saw a video of some woman named Neda who lived in Iran, until she protested against the ‘bullshit’ going down in their country, and got shot by the government.

I feel like she is ‘a victim.’ First I thought it was just some sort of ‘viral marketing campaign’ for Final Destination X, but then realized ‘oh shit–this is real. damn. thought it would be removed from youtube but guess they are keeping it up since it is an Iran meme.’

Meme #2: Perez Hilton getting ‘assaulted’ by Will.I.Am 4 calling him a ‘faggot’
But then I saw this meme about Perez Hilton getting ‘punched in the face’ for calling Will.I.Am a ‘faggot.’ This is a video response about ‘the incident’ by famous celeb blogger ‘Perez Hilton.’

I feel like he might be ‘a bigger victim’ than the lady from Iran. From what I understand, millions of people read his site every day, and this makes him possibly more important than most news sources. Basically, his brand is more important than ur local news and pitchfork combined. Sorta weird 2 think about.

Not sure which 1 was a bigger ‘injustice.’ Not sure which 1 is more representative of an innocent person being ‘fucked over’ by an ‘evil’ in the world. Feel like Perez Hilton might have taught us a more universal lesson, which was ‘never question the sexuality of a black person.’ Feel like he taught us that black ppl are ‘insanely homophobic’ and that u should never use strong buzzwords that question their sexuality. Might also have taught us to not let ‘i.r.l. faggots’ / ‘emotionally immature ppl’ express themselves on the internet.

I think Perez Hilton might be more of a ‘victim’ because he used twitter to ‘call the police’ instead of ‘dialing 911.’ Hopefully 1 day u will be able to tweet @911.

Feel like ‘Perez Hilton’ is DEAD SERIOUS. He is using his ‘assault’ as a platform for victims against violence. Based on his vlog, u could assume that ‘the world is about to end.’

(keut vneck/pouty face)

but the Iranian girl is ‘actually dead’. Think she might have a more ‘authentic’ type of cause behind her, even if she can’t post a response vlog [via being a ghost].

Feel like she possibly ‘died 4 more’ or is ‘a more relevant victim of violence.’

It’s kinda weird how news is becoming like indie music–we can’t tell the difference between ‘whatz hyped’ and ‘what is actually important/relevant.’ Feel like there’s a huge burden on me to sort through this kind of stuff, and I’m not sure if I’m prepared for it. h8 technology.

Who is the more authentic victim of violence?

Alt #1: The Bro Who Bleached His Hair


Alt #2: Free spirited facepaint eye mask swoop bang multi-coloured hair alt

Alt #3: Alt with Natural Highlights Who Hangs out with Possible Alt Celebs (the era of Excessive Hair Dying regrets)

Alt #4: post-PeteWentz simple raw alt in grey t-shirt which represents ‘being comfy in my clothes/with myself’ circa brainwashed smile // an IHaveFoundHappinessBro

Which of these bros is the most authentic version of ALT?
The purpose of this post is to question what ‘authenticity’ truly means.
Were you more authentic when u were ’searching for your optimal personal brand’?
Or are you always the most authentic in the present?
Do you have to be ’skinnie’ to be ‘in touch with humanity’, or is there a certain level of ‘vulnerability’ that you can experience while you are a chunker [via insecurities]?

Is it important to ‘feel good about yourself’ to have a bloggable personal brand?

[Photos by Mario Lavandeira]

Is any1 else nervous/excited abt the future?  In the future, people will finally be able to express who we rlly are.  No more ‘being conservative’ just 2 ‘fit in.’  In the future, we will all be authentic.  The clothes at our local mall will finally represent our progressive personal brands.  We will all be friends with people who ‘truly’ ‘understand’ who we ‘are.’  We will embrace, and take photographs, and our moments will live forever.

In the future, all women will be forced to have bangs that span at least (0.5 * the circumference) of their head.  Each woman will be identified by origami corsages of various colours.

In the future, we will all fuck one another, no matter what type of hole we have.  We will not ‘make love’ to people/genders–we will make love to souls.

In the future, we will all have beautiful, authentic souls.

When you are building a personal brand, you want a brand so strong that people want to emulate it. Kinda like Michael Jackson when he was in the process of turning white. You want other people to want your life.

Picking your authentic alt career is difficult. Sometimes it takes a lot of hard work. Sometimes it means ’standing up 2 ur parentz bullshit expectations’ and/or ’societal norms.’ It means taking risks, going to college, not going to college, changing your major, taking a year off, and transferring to a school where u r socially comfortable+’academically stimulated.’ It means being yourself and being some one else. While ‘wanting 2 make ur parents proud’ is an innate within all humans, authentic alts are willing to rage against this desire. Your pride is the most important thing in the world. Your pride, your terms.

This is ur life.
WHO DO U WANT 2 B?

//////
HIPSTER RUNOFF PRESENTS
//////
THE MOST AUTHENTIC ALTERNATIVE CAREERS
/////

The Guy who works the soundboard at concerts. He knows a lot about sound quality, systems, and bands.

DJ at a shitty radio station/college radio station/guy who is affiliated with a university 5+ years after graduating & not getting a real job.

“Door guy” who multitasks as a bouncer/ticket tearer/janitor.

Buffalo Exchange employee

Am Appy employee

postpostironic McDonalds employee

Start an indie band that is better at ‘looking like an indie band’ than it is at making music

Start a web 2.0 company

Start the first myspace profile

Work for a web marketing company who tries to get products/services/memes to go viral for companies who don’t ‘get’ how the internet works. h8 when ‘big businesses’ don’t understand the importance of the meme economy.

Work at Costco

Be a Zany Doctor

Work at a free spirited, local coffee shop

Work at Starbucks (great benefits, yall)

Go 2 beauty school.

Learn photoshop/become a designer. Carles is certified in Photoshop CS1.

Transition your name into a fashion label / be a judge on a Bravo show / make clothes for keut women.

Buy a video camera and make a lil meaningful film.

Start a blog!

Go on a Bravo Show/pretend u r ‘into the design sciences.’

Become an altCEO // start a ‘plain tee shirt company’ that is ‘fueled by legal Mexis’

Spend ur whole life ‘becoming good at the internet’ for no real reason.

[via Designnotes]

Tattoo artist

Apple Store Employee

Blipster Apple Store Employee

Make a viral vid


Note: Working in a record store is no longer an authentic alternative career in the postMP3 blog era.

************
Yall have a lot of options to express your personal brands. I’m sure I left out tons of options. Feel free to add some more to the comments.

In conclusion, it is just important to always remember the power of your alternative self, and the power of alternative free will. You are not functioning within the implied expectations of society. You will justify your life at any cost. You want people to understand that you are at your job for a reason. Even if you are just ‘working at a coffee shop before you move to NYC to get a job at a design firm after you get your portfolio of doodles+MSPaint files together.’

Never give up on you. You are special. Eventually, you will find a way to get paid for just being yourself. You have a unique perspective on the world, and eventually, you will find a way to let people know ‘who u really are’, establishing a platform where people will listen 2 u, and most importantly, want 2 b u. (kinda like God/Michael Jordan/theGirlTalk/Macauly Culkin circa Home Alone).

• authentic-in-a-bad-way alpha dog alt bros pretending to be alt ‘men’
• mainstreamers trying to be NOT that alt, but still make it known that they are ‘bein a little edgy 2nite’
• old men
• celebrities who have professional stylists who dress them much like good moms dress their kids to go to elementary school.

But ya, I love throwing a MembsOnly Jacket over my purple AA hoodie whenever it is below 70 degrees.

BTW, I did some research and the MEMBERS ONLY website looks like garbage. I’d expect this kind of site from a startup streetwear company, but not from an ‘iconic’ brand like Membies Onlie.
http://www.membersonlystyle.com/

XX BONUS COVERAGE XX
Members Only Commercial from 1982/the future.

I read in a sports business blog that this ad will be played during next year’s Super Bowl.

<3 fggts & alt mainstream girls <3

<3 fggts & alt mainstream girls <3