HIPSTER RUNOFF

I wish I could be a little alternative baby/kid, born into mainstream alternative royalty. It would be sweet to have a dad who was in one of the most popular maltstream bands of all time. It would also be 'pretty sweet' if ur dad was some1 like Tony Hawk, or something like that, bc then u could 'get xtreme' and 'play video games.

I wonder if I would rather have Blink182dad as a dad, or FallOutDad as ur dad. Feel like Pete Wentz might be 'embarassing' because Fall Out Boy's songs are 'hella ghey' in a tweeny kind of way. Also, u might get made fun of at school since he took 'cock pix.' Would be sweet to have Jessica Simpson as ur mom, though. Heard she has 'sweet jugs' [via Nick Lachey]

Would feel sweet having Blink182bro as ur dad. Feel like he writes songs that u could actually relate to. He would also be pretty appreciative about life, since he almost lost a bro [via tragic plane crash]. Think that both dads are 'loaded', so you could probably be a consumerCore kid during ur youth years, where you are encouraged to have a loud personality, and possibly have long hair.

When I was a kid
all I ever wanted
were parents who were famous
(but at least rich)
they would encourage me to 'be myself'
Even if I didn't get good grades
bc they could get me a kewl job
when I graduated from HS
and didn't want 2 go 2 college

What kind of parents do yall wish yall had?

Previous Cool Dad Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/cool-dads

I saw on a weblog that Pete Wentz, lead singer and keyboardist of the popular band the Fall Out Boys, went to Africa. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever go on some sort of philanthropic mission. Feel like that's when u can really learn 2 'appreciate ur own life.' I think u feel like a better person after u surround urself with 'the less fortunate', but I think u might get depressed if u stayed there 4ever. Not sure if I will get to go on a pilgrimage since I quit the Christian Youth Group at my local church since I abolished God from my life [via fighting with my parents when I told them I didn't want 2 wake up every Sunday morning 2 go 2 church].

It's kinda weird how ur supposed to go somewhere where ppl are 'less fortunate than u' at some point in ur life. Whether it is Africa, New Orleans, Detroit, or rural Missouri (the meth capital of the world), there are people who are less fortunate than 'us' every where. Just want to appreciate my family + personal social networks on the internet more than ever when I see people who are 'suffering', 'uneducated', 'hungry', and '0% self-aware.'

Pete Wentz is actually 1 of my biggest alternative heros. I think he embodies all of the best traits of 'being on the 1st wave of AltBros.' Kinda think most alternative people would trade their quest for an authentic life 4 a chance to be in a 'popular mainstream band that is marketed as being ALT' and 'making love to Jessica Simpson's malstream lil sister.'

Just want a healthy relationship where my significant other has the same 'version of reality' as me. Just want some1 who 'enables me' even if it turns me in2 less of a 'real person' and 'more of an unhealthy character from a modern indie film.'

see yall in Afrika. Hope JetBlue flies there in 2k10.

Miss u Am Appy Afrika
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/is-n-e-1-gonna-wear-this.html

Remember the time that the cobrasnake went 2 Africa and gave kidz free tshirts, stickers, & crocs?

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/alternative-philanthrophy.html

XX BONUS OLD PETE WENTZ COCK SHOT MEME XX

Need 2 get a quirkily dark tattoo in my pelvic region so that I can 'spooge' on it while I pleasure myself [via internet porn].
I wonder if Pete Wentz knows that tattoos actually originated as 'cave drawing doodles' in Africa and the Middle East while Pangea was still breaking apart.

I don't know who the whitey emo alt bro on the right is, but I'd love to get that shirt from him!
I think it says a lot about my current lifestyle, and how I feel about being young. I nvr want to die, yall. Things are perfect. I have amazing friends! I have been looking for a shirt that documents my weekend-to-weekend type of lifestyle, and I'm glad I found one with appropriate colours, but it could use some more neon.

Some1 plz direct me to the appropriate mall retail store s0 I can buy it. Already looked at Hot Topic...