Sometimes I see stuff
that I think looks meaningful
and wish I could take a picture of it
capturing the moment/meme forever

Every day I see thousands of images
and some of them are ‘meaningful’
or ‘get my attention’
and other ones are ‘meaningless’
and somewhat ‘forgettable.’

Sometimes I wonder
what is the most authentic photograph in the history of the entire world?

Is it a photo of a human?
Maybe a bro like Jesus
Abe Lincoln / Obama
OJ Simpson / Jimi Hendrix
Harvey Milk / Sean Penn as Harvey Milk
some anonymous bro
like a soldier or victim of war or something.
Maybe an animal
or some ppl ‘mating’ [via porn]

Is it a photo of an event
like a plane crashing into a building
or some sort of festival in a 3rd world country
or like some zany event like ‘the running of the bulls’

Or is it a picture of something that most people will never see
like some sort of entity that exists ‘in space’
or ‘a lunar/solar eclipse’
or a ’screen capture of something funnie.’

Or is it a party pic?
Like some bro with a ginger peen
Or some ’skank in a bathroom’
Or an entry level alt
or a super sweet 15 party 4 alts

Should we stop appreciating photos
and start to embrace ‘video’
Worried that I am missing out on ‘what makes a picture beautiful’
Might buy a huge DSLR or something
so that I can take HI RESOLUTION N00DZ
And license them to Am Appy 4 advertising

What is the most beautiful picture in the history of the world, yall?

I can’t be 100% certain what is happening in the picture. Is it a house party? Is it a meaningful electro concert? Is it a picture from the Running of the Bulls? Is it a group of bros being executed as a group? Is it a group of people singing the song “Losing My Religion” by R.E.M.? Is it a group of bros trying to go viral via their youtube channel? We’ll never know, yall.

“I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try” -The R.E.M.s

But part of me kinda likes not knowing. While I usually yearn for certainty, this time I feel at peace without knowing an answer to all of my questions. I know I’m not the only one.

There’s more to photography than yall think.
Beautiful Photographs Make U Think About Life.

(Maybe it was just an artistic decision 2 try to hide the Shuttershades bro)

miss u 2k_
As we move forward in time, are we realizing that 2k_ was the best year in the history of the world?

But then 2k8 ended
and I had 2 grow up
My hair went grey/fell out
and the youth which I documented
grew up and/or died

It was time to make a choice
did I want 2 work at Arby’s/Chili’s?
or did I want 2 put my dSLR skills to work?
After Obama I watched Obama launch his new website/get inaugurated
the choice was an obvious one

I decided to spend my life documenting
more important things
like politics
& nature
& ‘historical events’
& relevant celebrities (not paparazzi stuff, tho)

I want to be
more than just a bro
taking pix of me/people who look like me
with my hi-end camera

I will spend the rest of my life
taking meaningful photos
that are more than just ‘blogworthy’
I want them to go in the textbooks
that are issued to my children
and my children’s children.

I will invest money
in technology and travel
to be at the most relevant events
freelancing
and finding my photos in relevant periodicals (not on the web/a flickr account)

Yesterday, I took this picture.

This picture may or may not be a metaphor.

I also took this picture

This picture may or may not be a metaphor.

I also took this picture.

This picture may or may not be a metaphor.

I also took this picture.

This picture may or may not be a metaphor.

I have grown up.
Grown as a photographer
beyond taking pictures in dimly lit clubs
of an alternative population
who show off their tattos & tits

I started 2 capture LIFE
through my lens
because there’s more 2 life
than electroBloghaus parties
and meaningful band photography.

I am photography.
I am in touch with humanity.
I am documenting humanity.
I am PhotoBro 3.0.

This bro is me.
This browl cut is me.
The bowl on my head is my hair.
These are my man bangs–they are functional
/// keeping the bowl out of my eyes.
/// and my metaphorical ‘head’ held ‘high.’

XX BONUS PHOTOGRAPHER BRO XX

I am a photographer bro
in a sea of alts
Searching for
meaningful images
to capture 4evr

While I don’t believe in G-d
or an afterlife
I kind of believe in souls
because I capture something when I take pictures

Learned how to hack the web
and build a site
that is web 1.0
making it more authentic than web 2.0 bullshit

These are my dreams
to one day become a relevant photographer
for magazines
and blogs
and nightlife
and life
and pix of my bffs
with a valuable site
that people fly me to ‘cover’

In 10 years, you will look back on my website
and it will be kind of like a relevant cultural museum
kinda like
the graveyard that is myspace

My camera will travel with me everywhere.
It will be your gateway to my perspective of the world.
What I find meaningful
will be captured
forever

What I find meaningful
will exist
until my hard drive crashes

What I see
is what I find meaningful
because my eyes
are seeing it
and my heart
is feeling it
and my mind
is thinking it
and my me
is being it.

I like the way I look
I like the way my friends look
I like the way my city looks
I will create a picture
which represents my life

This bro is me.
This bear mask may or may not be a metaphor

I can take a picture of all nouns.

One day I will tire of digital photography
and ‘get back to basics.’
While my pictures will not be
easy to share with friends and family
[via popular photo sharing websites]
If a photo is unsharable,
does that make it more personal,
therefore
more meaningful to me?

Digital Photography will not meet my needs
I want
instant gratification
[via printed out photo]

I will pin these photos on my wall
or put them on my dashboard
or put them in a photo album
that only 5 people will see
gathering dust on a shelf
(Part of the photo hardcopy never dies)

I will take a photo of
last night’s party
last night’s meaningful convo
last night’s night drive
last night’s wardrobe
last night’s face hunt
last night’s face hunting cobrasnake
last night’s last night

I recently received a new camera.
Next year my parents will buy me an accessory for my camera
which allegedly makes it more ‘practical’
if u live [via the past]

The camera is my mirror
It is my pen // I am a writer
The camera is my livejournal
The camera is my blogspot
The camera is my xanga
The camera is my wordpress
The camera is my tumblr
The camera is my twitpic
The camera is my myspace
The camera is my facebook
The camera is my friendster
The camera is my personal brand
The camera is my internet brand
The camera is my youtube account
The camera is my google image search
The camera is my ‘hot hot sex’
The camera is my phone.
/// // ////
Does my phone have a camera in it?
Or does my camera have a phone in it?
Or does my Macbook have a phone in it?
Or does my Mac have a photobooth in it?
Or does my Skype have a vlog in it?
Or does my _____ have a ______ in it?
(This is a metaphor and/or post-rhetorical question.)

Without a gimmick, life is a journey without a goal. (goals = personal gimmicks)

Life is not easy. ‘Meaning’ is not auto-assigned upon birth.
You have to find it. You have to seek it out. You cannot be afraid of failure.
Keep searching.
Because one day, you will walk into a bathroom and find a keut girl ‘hangin out’ waiting for u 2 swoon her/suckle on her meaning-filled teet.

This is a metaphor. There’s more to photography than just taking digipix of keut/interesting/controversial nouns. What does this picture represent 2 u?
[Photos by LNP]

For example, this picture could be passed down from generation to generation when lil alts in 2k70 ask ‘Grampy, what was an AltBro’?

This picture is worth 1,000 blog posts.

When some ass hole creates an ‘alt museum’ in the middle of the United States, this picture will be blown up to cover up a whole wall. Kinda like how this picture represents ww2.

And this picture represents the War with Osama & Obama

And how this picture represents America

/////////////////////////////
XX BONUS FUN GAME XX
////////////////////////////
The winner gets 50 HRO points.

PUZZLE: In this picture, do u see m0re altBros or m0re digital cameras?

[Photos by the Laperolog]