HIPSTER RUNOFF

Ariel Pink is known as 'The King of Lofi', and as yall know 'The King of the Indie Meltdown.' This picture is from p4k music festival, where he apparently had a meltdown and walked off stage with his band playing, but no1 really cares. It's just Ariel bein' Ariel, and customers are actually LET DOWN if they go 2 see him and he doesn't have some sort of meltdown.

Anyways, he was wearing a HEADSET MICROPHONE on stage. I wonder if this is because he integrated a new dance sequence in2 his show so that he would be interested in being a buzzband again. Or maybe he got a job as a telemarketer for $10/hour. I know that it is hard 2 be a buzzband, and many buzzbands are forced to get part-time jobs when they are not working.

How may I help u? Can I get the last four digits of your social security number? Can you confirm your address?

Let me transfer you to my manager.

Or maybe he just plays those video games where u talk to ur 'team' as u try 2 shoot ppl.

Do u <3 his innovative microphone?
Why do u think Ariel is wearing a headset mic?
Do u <3 his meltdowns?
Can he hold on to his place as the King of Lofi?

Ariel Pink

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Ariel Pink is a 'lofi genius/wizard/mastermind' who has transitioned his brand to 'relevant indie buzzband status' in 2k10.

Lists: Producers, drug users, lofi, indie hunks, Californians

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Pitchfork is a mega alt brand that started out as a lil music website b4 blogspots even existed, but now they are probably at the top of the Fortune 500 list of alt companies. Making mad bank, producing premium, sponsored content, and extending their internet brand in2 reality by hosting showcases and festivals in relevant areas of the country.

Now it seems like p4k continues to 'go global' by launching Pitchfork Paris. I don't know much abt French ppl, but I assume that they all just listen 2 Jousteece and dance around 2 banger-wave synth pop. Hopefully this festival goes off without any1 dying, or else the French govt might ban pitchfork.fr in their country.

R u gonna go 2 this? Does Southwest Airlines fly 2 Paris?

Since its inception in 2006, the Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago has come to epitomize summertime in our city: a park in the West Loop, beautiful views of the skyline, and best of all, great music. We've worked hard over the past six years to keep our festival affordable while offering the best band lineup around, and we look forward to continuing that tradition here in Chicago-- in two weeks at this year's festival, and in the years ahead.

We also look forward to recreating that magic this fall-- in Paris! Yes, this October, the Pitchfork Music Festival will embark on a journey across the Atlantic, touching down for two autumn days in the City of Light.

Sorta wonder if I can 'trade in' my Chicago tix bc they seem totally irrelevant now. As a lamestreamer from the Midwest, I was just gonna go chill in Chicago 4 the weekend and vibe out 2 some indie tunes. But now I am just reminded that I am trapped in the Midwest and I will never live any where meaningful or relevant.

By launching a music festival in Paris, has p4k 'diluted' their brand or made a 'savvy bizdev move' in2 emerging indie markets?
Are they just going after 'low hanging fruit'?
Will they sacrifice their editorial brand?
Is the Chicago festival 'an international event' or is it just a Midwestern oasis?
Should p4k attempt 2 'outgrow' Lollapalooza?
Will this expansion 'backfire'?

'1 day...
we're gonna host a music festival in Paris...
I promise...
I'm on it...
-Ryan Schreiber

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

Lists: blogs and magazines

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I just saw the new Pitchfork Music Festival logo, and it looks pretty alt. Like it might be the background .jpg to my new indie underground altered zone wave blog that also has a vintage minidisc label... Sure it looks alt... but is it 'mainstream enough' to really present the p4k brand to the mainstream bro type? Can they really 'slap that bad boy on a t-shirt and sell the hell out of it' to all of the lamestreamer Midwesterners who go 2 Chicago for Lollapalooza?

I sorta miss the old vibe...

Always <3 making up my old fonts when I am bored in class.

This seems kinda chill too

Stencils are pretty chill. One time I spraypainted address numbers on curbs just to pick up a little bit more cash.

Do yall <3 the new redesign / rebrand?
Is this 'worse than the GAP logo'?
Is the new logo 'branded' enough in a mainstream lamestream way, or did they make it 100% alt?
Is the redesign 'brilliant' or does it leave u 'wanting more'?
R u an 'arm chair graphic design major' [via having high level design sensibilities]?
R u gonna get ur parents to buy u a 5 day pass 2 this music festy, or will u wait to see honkier bands at Lollapalooza?

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

Lists: blogs and magazines

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I remember the first time I heard the hit song "Should Have Taken Acid With You" by Neon Indian, I felt like I was standing at the forefront of a new cultural/indie movement. It seems 'so krazie' to have grown another year older, while that song has grown another year older. Kinda weird how 'definitive indie' songs don't necessarily 'get old', but instead 'exist forever as a placeholder 4 a moment in alt cultural history.' Even though buzzbands can grow into 'indie legacy bands', we will never forget the spirit of buzz that they buzzed when they were first buzzbands.

Always gonna dream of that night when I shoulda taken acid with yall...

N e ways... Some bro is wearing a 'should have taken acid with you' shirt. Not sure if this is official Neon Indian band merch, or if this bro made the shirt to wear to Pitchfork Music Festival just so the band would see him in the crowd and invite him for free brewskies in the VIP center. Maybe he is actually just a random bro who laments passing on the opportunity to take acid with a bro, and has never even heard the hit song "Shoulda taken acid with u."

Does this bro seem chill?
Would yall rather wear a Washed Out shirt or a Neon Indian shirt, or a Toro Y Moi shirt?
What type of shirts should Neon Indian make?
Should Neon Indian 'sell acid' at their concerts?
How about branded Neon-colored Indian headdresses?

What is the most authentic kind of band merch?
Is it authentic to wear the shirt of a band to their concert, or does that make u a 'buzzband n00b'?
Should u have taken acid with u, me, & every1 we know?

True or False: "BUZZBANDS NEVER DIE"
True or False: "BUZZ MP3S NEVER DIE"

Got dressed up super cute
to go to the Pitchfork Music Festival
An outfit that is vintage and sexie
but also functional to beat the summer heat

I was chilling, enjoying modern buzzbands
taking my post-blipster brand to the next level when a photographer+blogger approached me
he/she told me that they had a Street Fashion Blog
and I

I was flattered beyond belief
While I knew I was dressed alt/vintage enough to merit blog coverage
I never thought I would find some1
who had a relevant street fashion blogspot

They took my picture
It made my day
Felt better than listening

I logged on to my Dell Macbook the next day
Loaded up the street fashion blog website
and was mad pissed
that my photo was taken in front of some shitters

H8 u portapotties
Usually street fashion photographs are 'perfectly framed'
in the middle of some high end/vintage street

But I am stuck in front of some portapotties

I shoulda realized
and maybe coulda used my design background to suggest a different location.
Every1 could share the blame
but I was still mad pissed.

Standing in front of the shitter
looking down, ashamed

Not sure if this is some sort of 'racist metaphor'
about how African Americans were once segregated
and forced to use different restrooms and water fountains
Feeling like I let every1 down

All I wanted to do was showcase my vintage looks
but now I am involved in something so much more complex

Can u look deep/fashionable in front of portapotties?
Can u see any bros taking shits in front of the portapotties?
Who is to blame for this portapotty shot?
Do u think the portapotties provide racial commentary, or do they represent 'the music festival'?

Bros are searching for a chill ass summer look since they can't just dress slutty like girls can to 'beat the heat.' The need something retro, alt, mainstream, and something that inspires nostalgic images of you. It seems like the 'vintage NBA jersey' was 'huge' at Pitchfork. Not sure if that was actually true, or if bloggers just needed to create interesting photo posts that weren't just bands 'looking all boring, playing ditties on stage.'

I sorta want to start wearing retro NBA jerseys 2 music festivals so that I can 'reconnect' with my aspiring mainstream kid days, back when I thought I would morph into a 7 foot tall black man who could play in the NBA. That was back before my dream was to become a buzzband. Feel like retro NBA jerseys can 'really say a lot about u' if you are aware of NBA Jam/NBA on NBC retro era basketball.

The Charles Barkley Jersey means that 'u luv blow jobs and eating food.'

I think this is Shawn Kemp [via Dream Team 2]. From what I heard, he loves unprotected sex since he has like 30 illegitimate children 'all across the world.'

After LeBron James' "The Decision", it seems lie we are yearning for the simple days of Larry Johnson, back when superstars got our attention by dressing up like a Granny and throwing down sweet ass dunks.

Might put a chillwave / fuzzy buzzy song over this and turn it into a buzzband's 'official video' [via nostalgic images of youth]

Dennis Rodman on the Bulls seems 'relatively alt', but the #91 might be a bit too 'obvious alt.' Would have opted for a rare Mavericks/Lakers Rodman jersey, but Spurs/Pistons seem more likely.

I think Pitchfork Music Festival has tons of

I think Grant Hill might have been 'the greatest Buzz NBA player of all time' but never really panned out. Sorta like when a buzzband makes 1 good mp3, but then sucks, then at the tail end of their career they make a decent album and we can all 'laugh' about their undeserved buzz, but kinda pretend their career was more fulfilling than it actually was.

Worried Magic Johnson jerseys might 'ruin the chill vibes' [via HIV awareness + free condom handouts]. We all wanna 'hook up' but this jersey seems like a 'public service message' 2 bros to 'wrap up + practice safe sex'.

Are alternative bros chill bros in retro NBA jerseys, or should they just neutralize their personal brands and wear Am Appy?
Are vintage NBA jerseys 'authentic'/'alt' or are they trying too hard to reconnect with a bro's mainstream past?
Are 'throwback' jerseys for black people who are into 'streetwear', but post-ironic NBA jerseys still fit u snug since you bought it way oversized during your youth?
What vintage NBA jersey do yall wear? What metaphor/analogy can u tie into ur own personal brand?
Has the NBA 'gone down the shitter' with all of these young NBA players who misinterpreted the Michael Jordan era? [via H8 u LeBron James]

I remember when the festival bro was first invented, he represented a simpler, chiller bro in an Incubus/raver kind of way [link]. It seems like the modern festival bro might be more of a bloggy bro--a hyperconnected bro with high level opinions on indie music who ventures out into the real world several times per year for relevant shows and music festivals. He 'creates his own merch', making it clear that he 'gets' the 'scene', hopefully looking to attract the attention of an entry level blog reader lil slut who giggles at his shirt. If that plan doesn't pan out, 'being blogged about by a festival blogger' seems like a 'decent consolation prize' [via getting to share it in your facebook feed.'

This bro seems to be 'Crazy For You' about Chillwave, the popular post indie genre which garnered critical acclaim in 2k9. Pitchfork Music Festival showcased chillwave artists Washed Out, Neon Indian, and Pavement. It seems like this bro was 'repping hard', just wanting "less chill" and more "wave."

Not sure if his shirt might have been 'anti-chillwave' though. Kinda confused now. Just want to know what this bro is all about to see if we are into the same vibes/walls of sounds.

Have yall ever made ur own shirt?
What type of shirt would u make?
What should the official chillwave shirt say?
Can 'wave' be a genre of music, or can it only be a genre suffix?
Does Pitchfork Music Festival seem like it is filled with chill bros?
Do u still ride chillwaves or what? R u worried about chillwave in 2k11?

It has been just over a year since chillwave was 'invented' / was 'born' via the indie ether. It seems like Ernest Greene is just throwing down a chill on stage, playing some hit tunes, feeling it all around. Tank top seems like a chill ass way to beat the heat. Chilling with his Macbook Pro + Midi controller, just vibing, feeling shit all the fuck around.

Seems to be 'killing it'. Wasn't there, but watched a youtube of it.

Do yall think this seems like a chill show?
Does he need to 'add a guitar to his live set' like Panda Bear?
How does it feel to see 'chillwave grow up' and fight for relevancy in front of maltstream music festival crowds?
How can Washed Out take his live brand 2 the next level?
Do u want 2 vibe out at a Washed Out show?
Does he seem like a chill bro?
Do u think indie/chillwave/conceptual artists are 'bullshit' because they 'don't play real instruments', or does appreciating them mean that u truly 'get' modern sound art?
Can chillwave 'compete' in the 2k11 indie armsrace?

Washed Out

Buzzband

Washed Out is the hit chillwave project of indie hunk Ernest Greene.

Lists: Members of Washed Out, chillwave, 2k9 buzzbands, 2k11 buzzbands

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Some bitter, old music critic from a newspaper blog called "The Chicago Sun Times" named Jim DeRogatis went to Pitchfork Music Festival, and seemed to have an agenda against the festival + the 'boring ass' indie bands that played there. Think his newspaper gig 'folded' and now he is trying to get hits for some new blog. He is apparently a 'respected pre-internet music critic' or something like that, but I'm not sure if he is still 'relevant' since people can just stream music instead of reading about how music sounds. It seems like he was eager to call the festival a 'shitfest', referring to it as "YAWNFORK" cuz it was s0000 b000ring.

Anyways, he said a bunch of crap about how the bands 'sucked live', but were 'hyped hard' by p4k, and p4k let every1 down. Seems like some sort of 'old media' vs 'new media' battle. Perhaps he is mad jealous of the 'sick hits' that Pitchfork gets.

Here is the part where he said the Panda Bear set sucked:

Sadly, things slowed down again during the penultimate set as dusk and a slight breeze finally replaced the day’s oppressive heat while Animal Collective’s Panda Bear, a.k.a. Noah Lennox, played a way-too-long set of drony trance grooves punctuated by atonal yelps, yodels, and the occasional wounded whale noise. If this sort of thing had been delivered by a third-tier Grateful Dead offshoot band on one of the smaller stages at Bonnaroo, the Pitchfork crowd would have scoffed in derision. But since it was Pitchfork-endorsed, most stood politely and soaked it in, though there was a steady stream of refugees fleeing for the other stages, the food lines, or the Porta-Potties.

Without the aid of mind-altering substances, Panda Bear’s performance was an indulgent, unlistenable mess. With them, it may well have prompted the sort of bad trip that would lead someone to believe that they could fly off the steeple of First Baptist Congregational Church across Ashland Avenue from Union Park.

Damn. Unlistenable mess. Wish he'd just write chill words that 'the masses' can get behind, instead of trying to kill harsh vibes. Wonder if Panda Bear will turn into the new M.I.A. [via mudslinging/'prophetic' pieces that claim 'the album isn't that good yall--it's all just internet hype']

Then he went on to say that LCD Soundsystem was 'pretty good', but then used some sort of tricky journalistic tool where he did a flippyroo to say that Pitchfork Music Festival 'sucked':

Still, as great as the band was [LCD Soundsystem], the mediocrity of much of what preceded it on the first two days prompted one to wonder if Pitchfork ultimately means as much in 2010 as it did earlier in the decade.

Damn. Seems like he's really harshing on Pitchfork's vibes. Maybe since he is losing hits, he is going to start one of those new blogs where you are just 'anti-pitchfork' and sorta ride that wave to get a couple of hits.

Sometimes it seems like Pitchfork is an unchill bro, but then old media bros try to ruin Pitchfork's vibes/voice, and ur like 'damn, maybe p4k is kinda chill 2 have around after all.' Getting defensive.

Is Pitchfork 'losing power' or is it 'more powerful than ever'?
Are hits + ad dollars the only things that matter in the fight for the blogosphere?
Do 80%-90% of buzzbands 'suck live'? Is this a real 'revelation', or is that just something that people need 2 accept in the internet indie era?
Has Pitchfork's 'voice' been 'compromised by their Music Festival'? Is this 'a bad thing' or a 'who cares' thing?
Should Jim DeRogatis have his ass 'banned' from Pitchfork Music Festival next year if he is just gonna pull this 'anti-p4k' bullshit [via biting the hand that feeds]?
Should all music critics have a limit on the length of their careers, or do u wanna 'grow old and bitter' with a music critic bro as 'the kids' get into 'lame, empty, hollow shitty music'?

Panda Bear

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

Panda Bear is a member of Animal Collective. He wrote the hit album "Person Pitch" but failed to deliver in 2k10 with TOMBOY.

Lists: Members of Animal Collective, indie hunks, cool dads

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Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

Lists: blogs and magazines

Read more>>>>