It's hard 2 be a mainstream female in the modern world
But I'm glad
I'm alt
I can really 'be me'
I know there's been tons of 'skinny bitches' in recent alt movies
Zooey Deschanel's crazy coke look [link]
Natalie Portman in the Black Swan: A Tale of Lezbo Hornie Anorexia
but I'm me
It does't matter how I look
It doesn't matter what I eat
It doesn't matter what u want me 2 be
I am free
Free 2 wear meaningful beanies, scarves, skinny jeans
Getting my nostril pierced
Wearing keut alt glasses
I love being a part of the scene
I can grub where ever I want
A vegan bakery
Chili's
Trader Joe's Olive Bar
Dunkin Donuts
Einstein Bro's Bagels
James Murphy's House of Pancakes
Chipotle
Combination Olive Garden + Red Lobster
I can be me
I can eat
whatever I want
And the indie blogosphere modern alt scene is here 4 me
I have the perfect alternative breasts
U have the perfect alternative breasts
Where I can go to an Arcade Fire show and not feel 'out of place'
Where I can listen to indie buzzbands and not be body-typially-profiled
Where I can meet the perfect altbro who <3s me 4 me
Love = Alt
Alt = Love
Me = U
Fat = Skinny
Alt = Mnstrm
I wanna become 1 with u
I wanna be me with u
I am the plus sized alt.
Alt has no size.
It feels good 2 be an alt
When alt is me and I am alt.
Does alt 'have a size'?
Can any1 be welcomed in2 the alt scene, no matter their skin color/size/ethnic background?
Do u have to be 'skinny' 2 wear 'skinny jeans'?
Do u h8 our modern mainstream society that pressures every1 2 be skinny?
Plaid shirt
Skinny jeans
fly ass sneakers
Beard
alt haircut
The standard uniform of the male alt
So many bros
So many varied plaid color scheme combinations
So many personal brands that are within a very small standard deviation of 'the alt norm'
The truth is
It doesn't matter what a bro looks like
How long his facial hair is
which buzzband mp3s fill his iPod
What his preferred premium / post-ironic beer is
how much he weighs
how long his schlong us
Every alternative bro forms a larger body
a modern movement
an aesthetic
the sum of all altbros = far greater than any individual.
We can do anything
We can get any girl
We can all lust over a hot alt baguette
We are all
Kinda like existentialism
we are all 'the same' or something abstract like that
We are all just trying to bang hot alt pussie
We are all the same.
We can all 'get too drunk'
and lift up a girl
spin her around the dance floor
as our penis becomes erect against her clitoris/leggings
Alt has no size
Alt has no color
Kinda like 'love'
U could theoretically fall in love with 'the elephant bro'
or one of those bros who weighs 1 ton and sweats Coca Cola [via being fat]
Love = Alt
Alt = Love
Me = U
Fat = Skinny
Alt = Mnstrm
AnCo = NSYNC
Electro = Indie
Blogs = newspapers
Buzzbands = shity local bands
Cool Dads = entry level alts
1 day u will find her soulmate
He or she will/will not be 'perfect' on the outside
They might not be 'the personal brand that u thought u would end up with forever'
Too fat
Too skiny
Too dumb
Too smart in an ass-hole kind of way
Too neurotic
Too chill
Too into shitty music
Too into relevant buzzbands
but maybe deep down inside
they will 'make sense'
make sense 2 u
and u'll move in 2gether
become more than just an 'aimless 20something'
and u'll start a family
But it all starts tonight
Get ur ass on the dance floor
grind on her pussie/ass
Pick her up by her ass
Spin her around until she 'goes unconscious'
This is ur time
Alt has no size
Believe in urself
Believe in <3
Will u ever find ur soulmate?
Is there such thing as an 'over-sized' alt?
Are females expected to be skinnier than males?
Are u a plus-sized altbro? what size t-shirt/jeans do u wear?
Does 'alt' have a minimum/maximum weight?
Are u 'unhip' if u r 'fat'?
Have u ever been with a 'plus sized human'?
Can 'skinny jeans' exist if u have a 30/32/34/36/38/40+ inch waist?
