poem | Hipster Runoff


Searching 4 the most authentic photograph in the world.

Photo via Gizmodo

Sometimes I see stuff
that I think looks meaningful
and wish I could take a picture of it
capturing the moment/meme forever

Every day I see thousands of images
and some of them are 'meaningful'
or 'get my attention'
and other ones are 'meaningless'
and somewhat 'forgettable.'

Sometimes I wonder
what is the most authentic photograph in the history of the entire world?

Is it a photo of a human?
Maybe a bro like Jesus
Abe Lincoln / Obama
OJ Simpson / Jimi Hendrix
Harvey Milk / Sean Penn as Harvey Milk
some anonymous bro
like a soldier or victim of war or something.
Maybe an animal
or some ppl 'mating' [via porn]

Is it a photo of an event
like a plane crashing into a building
or some sort of festival in a 3rd world country
or like some zany event like 'the running of the bulls'

Or is it a picture of something that most people will never see
like some sort of entity that exists 'in space'
or 'a lunar/solar eclipse'
or a 'screen capture of something funnie.'

Or is it a party pic?
Like some bro with a ginger peen
Or some 'skank in a bathroom'
Or an entry level alt
or a super sweet 15 party 4 alts

Should we stop appreciating photos
and start to embrace 'video'
Worried that I am missing out on 'what makes a picture beautiful'
Might buy a huge DSLR or something
so that I can take HI RESOLUTION N00DZ
And license them to Am Appy 4 advertising

What is the most beautiful picture in the history of the world, yall?

Should I stop worrying about my self-concept + body image?


Sometimes I wonder if I 'worry 2 much'
about 'shit that doesn't matter'
like 'the way I look'
and 'how other ppl perceive me.'

Kinda just want to listen 2 Daft Punk
and 'gain a shit load of weight'
by eating 'bad ass foods' that
'taste awesome' but are 'probably killing me.'

I wish that there was some sort of 'plus size' solution
to look fashionable
and 'seem hip' and 'in the know'
But I think that part of 'being fit'
means that 'u care about being alive.'
wonder if Am Appy will come out with a 'plus size' line in 2k34
when their core market 'gets all old and fat'

Just want to 'be myself'
and like 'chill' and 'go to Chili's' and 'eat McDonalds breakfast'
and 'go out to binge eat Mexican food'
and 'eat lasagna' like the popular cat Garfield

but 'who will love me' for 'who I am'
It would take a strong person
to want to 'cum on'/'cum with'
some1 who is 'larger than life.'

Worried that my heart will stop
or something like that

R u happie with the way u look?
do u end up looking in the mirror for extended periods of time
thinking about the person u will be after u 'get in shape'?
Did u 'lose a lot of weight'/'gain a lot of weight' recently? Why?

Hope u r okay.
want u 2 b happie with who u r

everything has a natural life

i see newspapers and magazines
shut down/go bankrupt
and I wonder when blogs will die

when will HRO end?
should HRO have ended _ years ago?
When will all of the memes in the world be blogged?
What happens when the river of meme runs dry?
What happens when bloggers decided 2 unplug from the internet?
what happens if ur favourite blogger gets in a car crash 1 day, and u never hear from him/her again?

Everything dies--even humans
Every thing has a natural life.

Trends/fads/websites that are 'kewl' and 'authentic' can't always stay what u think they are
u grow up. u turn into a different person who values different stuff
something that meant something 2 u at age 13 won't mean as much 2 u at age 29, unless it is 'Coca Cola' or something like that

1 day, no1 will read pitchfork
1 day, no1 will read newspapers
1 day, no1 will eat red meat
1 day, no1 will be the same as they were 2day
1 day, Am Appy will be the official uniform provider of the NFL/poor people
1 day, ur parents will die, and u'll feel 'authentic sadness' 4 the first time ever
1 day, HRO will not exist
u will still be alive. u will only read memes that are 140 characters or less
u will not feel a need 2 'get all social' on the internet

Afraid of the world ending

Afraid. Afraid of losing everything.
Afraid of my site 'dying.'
Afraid of losing sight of 'what's important in life.'
Scared of who I am finding out I am
Is the internet 'my prison.'
Not sure if I have a healthy sense of self [via the internet]

1 day, we will go outside, and hold hands with our neighbors
and say 'we finally did it,
we finally left Iraq
and got national health insurance
and fixed our educational system
and stopped honoring borders and turned the earth in2 1 chill-ass megacountry.'

Feel sad
when magazines died they got to 'turn into websites'
but not even sure what 'dying websites'
can turn into as a gimmick

We will be happy
'Snark' will be dead
Blogs will be dead
Advertisers will find a new medium to 'overpay' for advertising
No1 will have a computer larger than an iPhone
Twitter will have failed/been hacked and all personal memes will be erased

Good nite Moon
We had a good run.
'The End.' -a book

Best of luck,

We've come a long long way together,
Through the hard times and the good,
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should

-the fatboy slims, 2012 as the world ends


An intense feeling of 'being trapped in suburbia' overwhelms me when I have to 'run errands.'

Photo by lookbook

It makes me sad
That all humans in the developed world
must go to the grocery store / an 'everything store'
in order to stay alive

Wish things were more natural
and we had to hunt and gather
instead of 'gathering money' [via job]
and then 'bargain hunting' [via coupons/manufacturer's discount]
and stuff like that which makes u realize
just how 'middle-class' ur parents are

I go out to Target / Wal Mart
Trader Joe's / Whole Foods /
Local low-end grocery store
and I buy 'groceries'
Makes me feel less unique
because I see every one there
rich or poor

But the poor usually buy stuff that's 'bad 4 u'
and I am fortunate enough to buy
stuff that's 'better 4 u'

Feel like a 'fish out of water'
when running the errands that are necessary 2 staying alive
because I have built my personal brand around
'seeming like I have nothing 2 do with ppl
who have 2 perform trivial tasks 2 stay alive'

I want to be some1 who seems 'young'
and 'out of touch' with 'real life' and 'real errands.'
and the modern 'struggle' 2 stay alive and build a 'happy family'

h8 'shopping' for stuff that 'isn't cool'
would rather go 2 the mall / online shopping
prefer 2 buy stuff that u have 2 buy with a credit card
instead of stuff that 'fits in2 ur budget.'

Going away to college.

Photo via Lookbook

Going away 2 college.
s0 f*ckng scared.
I have become a pretty popular and respected bro
at my high school

But I will throw all of that away
and go to college at a prestigious university
located within an authentic city
not just the state school within 100 miles of my home town.

My mom will go college dorm room shopping
with me
at IKEA, the Container Store, and Target
and we will get into fights about our vision of the room
(Don't want it 2 look 'too dormy'
Want it 2 be an authentic space.'

I hope my dorm room is the popular room on my floor
and that my roommate evolves into the best bro of my life.
We will join relevant on-campus groups
and also integrate into our local community
really 'caring' about the issues within our collegetown/region
more than we care about global issues

Maybe we will organize protests against our university
and chill inside of the cafeteria
liveblogging and twittering the whole experience
until the mainstream police barges in with guns

Photo via NYU Local

Might even volunteer to wake up early
and paint some stuff
or build some houses
then 'party' with the people who I bonded with
as the sun hits our white skin

I will become a new person
in college
in my dorm room
lurking facebook for girls from my classes who
I can pin my hopes and dreams to

One day I will move off campus
and live in a chill ass apartment
that smells like marijuana and body odor
that has a mix of 'chill' and 'bad ass' parties
becoming a relevant location in the local scene
It has a 'bad ass' flat screen that my roommates' parents gave us.

Dirty bathrooms

Sometimes I will study
staying up all night
To do 'okay' on a test
and pass all of my classes
Proud of my 2.7-3.75 GPA because 'I put like nooo effort into it.'

We will 'party.'
We will be college students.
We will have fun.
We will find bros.
We will eat all of our meals on campus with
a relevant meal plan program

I will stay in college for _ years.

Do yall want 2 go 2 college?
Where do yall wanna go?
What do yall wanna learn?
R u in college?
What is/was ur fave part about being in college?

SXSW: Authentic in 2k10?

When do events go from 'being authentic' to 'being totes fake and filled with mainstreamers'?
I just want to know what 'the tipping point' is
and what causes it
so that I could prevent it from happening

SXSW is funnie
because everything is a 'planned surprise'
and everything is 'free' but 'not really'
and everything is 'exciting' but 'predictable'
and everything is 'viral buzz' but rlly just 'marketing'

Festivals and conferences start out 'being authentic incubators of cool culture'
but then the mainstreamers think they can participate
immersing themselves in 'cutting edge cultural events'
slowly causing the fabric of what made something great
2 unravel

Woodstock 99
SXSW 2010
Pitchfork Festival 2015
Lollapalooza 200_
Coachella 200_
Austin City Limits 2005

They say that once a Wireless Telecommunications Provider
is a prominent sponsor of your entity
then u have 'made it'
but u will soon lose what once made u so great.

Everything has a 'useful life'
Kinda sad abt that


Alternative Event, Company

SXSW (South By Southwest) is a relevant music, technology and film conference/festival that takes place in Austin, TX.

Read more>>>>

I am going to an Elite Music and Technology Conference

I fly away from the city
to another relevant city
to a relevant conference
filled with relevant people
and positive ideas
that will help me take my personal existence
and my web business' existence
to such great heights

The conference will be informative and inspiring
the local cuisine will be amazing
the music with be live and authentic
and the people will facilitate meaningful and relevant conversations
and I will do my best to let every one know
that I am at this utopia [via twitter]

The people one the sidelines of the internet
will be 'jealous and sad' that they are not at SXSW
hanging with industry insiders
and people who glorify their careers where they kinda 'just chill on the internet too much.'

For every 1 influential web visionary at this conference
there will be 100 'people who read a bunch of blogs and constructed a sillie sense of reality'
and think that one day they will invent a revolutionary web service
or start an influencial web media network

The conference is a place for dreams.
The city will be filled with hope.
We will drink free alcohol
provided by sponsors looking to reach web-savvy alternative markets
and for this 1 week
we will be brothers (I.R.L.)
and follow one another for the rest of our lives'

I will introduce myself to people who are my internet role models
because they are relevant, important, and have built a relative fortune off their web ideas
and they will be 'kinda annoyed' because I am one of many
users of their product who 'tried 2 give them my URL/resume'
and connect with them on an authentic level
because I 'get' their product like no other user on the planet

U wish u were here
hanging out with me
and being surrounded by beautiful ideas
buzzed conversations about dreams of 'making millions'
from a simple idea that catches on
and improves the online lives' of millions of people
but more importantly 'makes me a lot of money'

I never want 2 go home
I never want 2 return 2 my desk job
I want to feel important
I want to feel talented
I want to contribute 2 society by building technology
But also appreciate artsy things like film and music
This will be the most meaningful week of my middle-aged life.
I spent the last week RSVPing to over 400 events

I will dine on SXSWestern Egg rolls.


Alternative Event, Company

SXSW (South By Southwest) is a relevant music, technology and film conference/festival that takes place in Austin, TX.

Read more>>>>

Reflecting on my Life Choices

Photo by Tao Lin

I look back on my life
and think about critical crossroads
and ask myself questions
about what makes me 'alternative'
in relation to society.

s00 much stuff 'made me'
and I am still trying to 'understand' how 'I' happened

Did my parents love me?
Did my parents make over $100K?
Did my parents drive a minivan?
Did my parents allow me to make my own fashion choices at a young age?
How much did I want to 'be accepted'?
How 'seriously' did I take 'social groups' in middle+high school environments?
Did I 'have a gf/bf' at a young age?
Did my parents try to construct the foundation of my self-image ?
Did I grow up in a city
Am I an 'outlier'?
Should I have read more books as a child?
Did my parents get divorced?
Did my parents let me listen to rap, even though I lived in a white context?
Did I 'experiment' with drugs and alcohol 'before I was ready to handle it'?
Did I 'make fun of poor kids' without knowing why I was 'better than them'?
Did my parents secretly hate minorities, teaching me not to respect them & only expecting them 2 'bring me chips and salsa b4 a meal'?
Was I 'sad' about the OJ Simpson verdict?
Did my parents/me take 'youth sports' too seriously?
Did I have a sibling who was better/less respected than me?
Did my parents establish solid relationships with teachers, or did they just 'drop me off' at school?
Did I have a computer when 'the internet' was first invented?
As I grew up with a computer, have I been unable to use it for anything 'productive' and has this impacted my ability to contribute to my employer?
Do I know how 2 get vulnerable, or am I just like my [parent who h8s emotions]?

As I grow older,
I feel like I have more in common with more ppl
realizing that we had the same childhood
and that we are all 'kinda mediocre'
but searching for differentiating gimmicks.

////Makes me kinda sad

Sometimes I wish my differentiating gimmick was something
that was both 'beneficial to society' and 'had a salary of over $250K per year'
but I'm probably being unreasonable.
Not sure if I would rather 'find the cure for cancer' or 'be in a relatively popular band.'
Would probably have to make an 'excel spreadsheet' of pros+cons

Just glad I'm not a mainstreamer
and satisfied by the goals which have forced me to be 'alternative.'
Don't want to 'have a family' and 'live in suburbia'
Don't want to 'go 2 church every Sunday.'
I think I would enjoy stuff like 'falling out of love with my wife after she had 2 kids'
and 'resenting my kids for being lil ass holes'

Do yall ever wish that u could be like that movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Ace Ventura"
and erase ur past
and 4get about U, Me & Every1 We Know?

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I got on my all-terrain vespa and Created My Own Route
and I 'got lost' but told myself that 'finding my way'
created a journey which was meaningful

The alt route
The alt route
The alt route
I am chilling on it.
r u?

Current Music: Robert Frost - 2 Roadz (Grizzly Bear vs Animal Collective Relevant in 2k9 Remix)
Current Mood: Sad abt life

Feeling REALLY gddmn TRAPPED (in suburbia) lately

Image via Lookbook

h8 living in suburbia.
want something more.
want something more.
want something more.
want something more.
want something more.
want something more.
than this life that my parents have forced me into.

Sometimes I feel happy
when I make a good grade in AP English
and I know that I will eventually go to Columbia/NYU/Yale
but it sucks to be here
at a public high school
knowing that all of these ass holes
just want to go to a state university
attend business school
and get married

Wish that high schools had more than just 'honors' courses
because even dumb ppl are in honors courses just to raise their GPA
wish they talked 2 us
and found out about what we wanted 2 do
h8 standardized testing
and how it has limited my educational growth

If only they had some sort of class
that taught us how to blog
and taught us how to screen print on tshirts
and taught us how to start an eCommerce store
and taught us how to crochet
and taught us how to twitter
and taught us how to photoshop
and taught us how to make blog/tumblr layouts
and taught us how to make party fliers
and taught us about everything in between
like human2human interactions

I want to start an online site that isn't a blog
since blogs are dead
but I want the site to be more 'fun' and 'less linear'
and I want my fan base to be authentic
looking for something else out of their online life

But here I am
trapped in suburbia
a teen
Alone in my room

I attempt to make my space as meaningful as possible
this attic
full of records, picture books, and asbestos
The good times are killing me
The bad times are killing me
The asbestos may or may not be killing me

Do u ever wish u could sleep 4ever?

[via lookbook]
Sometimes I wish I could go 2 sleep
and never wake up
This doesn't exactly mean I want to end my life
but I just want to be at peace
I want to lug my twin mattress
out to a meaningful public space
and take a lil nappy.

There is so much pressure in my life
Parents, Going away 2 college, expectations from others
The pressure to stay modern/current/relevant
Overcoming my insecurities

Sometimes I wish I could just 'let my hair down' [metaphor]
and be myself [metaphor]
free of the concept of 'mainstream vs alt' [metaphor]
because if u really think about it
there's no such thing as 'normal' [metaphor]
and if u really think about it even more
there's no such thing as money

so while I keep hearing things about the economie
being 'in the shitter' [metaphor]
I realize that we just have to pretend that 'gold' is valuable
but in all reality
that's just corporate bullshit
made up by companies like Coca Cola and Dell Computers

Kinda wish we had a new Che Guevara / Joan of Arc /Tyler Durden
in the modern world
who would challenge society
and take us to a whole new level
where I wouldn't just want to
metaphorically close my eyes
and metaphorically sleep 4ever.

Not sure if I'll ever pay back my student loans
Not sure if I'll ever own a home
Not sure if I'll ever make more than $33K/year
Not sure if I'll ever find what I'm looking for
Not sure if I'm even the type of bro who can handle a 9-5 job

Sometimes I wish I had a beautiful angel
in my life
to take care of me
and tell me that every thing's gonna be alright.

[Photo via Pregnant goldfish]
////SLEEP /// 4 /// EVER

Reflections on Suburbia [via being Trapped]

[Photo via lookbook]
This is my life
And I am not happy
With this setting of mine
I deserve more than this.

I walk around
and see the houses which
look a lot like mine
I want to move to the city and be with people
but other days
I want 2 move 2 the wilderness and live alone.

The school bus
motors by
and I see pollution come out of its tail pipe
I wouldn't mind emissions so much
if I lived in the city.

I am trapped in this life
where my parents have control
over what I do and who I am
I need to be free
because my parents
are guided by
society's norms

I used to play JV soccer
this is a team sport
however I grew apart from my team
and h8ed 'conforming'
to this concept
of a group of unified people
with one common goal

I don't have a problem
with being part of something
bigger than urself
but I think that ur goals
should be ones that make the world
a better/more authentic place

One day, I will start a nonprofit organization
that aggregates the world's most critically acclaimed music
and delivers pre-loaded iPods to children
in at-risk mainstream neighborhoods
(kind of like Meals-On-Wheels, except with indie-core music)

I have a vision
of a perfect world
I will not turn my back on suburbia
One day I will return
and 'save' the Collective Soul of the suburban people.

I want to make the world a more authentic place
One day
An army will march through suburbia
and set this place
on fire. (this is a metaphor)

I wish I had a heart, yall.

When I was young
and it was raining during recess
We would stay inside and watch a meaningful video
This usually meant
"Willy Wonka" or "The Wizard of Oz"

I remember in the Wiz of Oz
There was a bro made of tin
called 'the tin man'
and he had no heart
Physically or emotionally or spiritually

He wanted 2 be 'more like a human.'
When they made the film
there were no 'robots'
but his metal body shell
kind of represented being a 'productivity droid'

He got a heart
and 'found happiness'
because he was able 2 empathize
with other humans
and experience joy and love and stuff like that

Maybe I should
be more appreciative
of being a HumanBro
Wonder if I would kill myself
if the major theme of my life
was the quest to be
Human After All

/// Is Tin Man Human?
/// Or is He Dancer?


Alternative Parenting Tips (The Metaphorical Vodka from Ur Teet)

[Photo by Last Night's Party]
When I have a child
I will raise him 'right'
and make sure he/she
gets only the best

Organic foods
Progressive Private Education
Summer art courses
Team sports
Necessary technology
No television
Plenty of 'books'/printed out pages of wikipedia
Drug prevention education
Lots of physical affection
and verbal reinforcement

My wife will put the baby
upon her teet
and tell her about her life
and her mistakes
and the history of the modern world

The baby will grow old
and go away to design school
And find himself/herself
Fall in love
Accidentally make a new child too soon
and the circle of life will continue

The baby
must be nourished
from a teet
which spouts
top shelf vodka
(This is a metaphor)

Levitating Alts

[photo via Lookbook]

I want to be free
of societal norms
and universal laws
which include gravity (g = 9.8 m/s² )

Within my room
I will put on my white sunglasses
and polo shirt + tie
and float above my material possessions

Much like the hit Modest Mouse song,
"We will all float on, yall."
but I am floating above
my ergonomic computer chair
with an ergonomic seat cushion

I want to float above
these items which make me 'me'
and travel in the air
to a local indie concert
bypassing the line which wraps around the venue

If only my parents
that I needed a flat screen/hd tv
to make my room
a more positive SPACE

In 2k9, u can do n e thing.
Embrace ur imagination
and do what u once thought was impossible

[meme via David Blaine]


I am the ringmaster.

So this is the new year,
and I don't feel any different.
I am the ringmaster,
in a world of zany zaniness.

This world is like a circus
kinda like the Britt Spears song/album
and I am in the middle
and every1 is looking @ me
and things are crazie

Circuses are metaphors
for when
the world
getz 2 zany 2 handle
and the whole world
is watching

I want the whole world
2 watch me
bc my prsnl brnd
is worth watching

What will I do next?
What will I wear next?
What will I say next?
What will I be next?

This was a poem that I wrote to support uniforms + dress codes in public school.


This bro lives in the forest, free from society, and free from design/fashion norms. His life is simple, yet conceptual, and he has a clearer state of mind than you.

[via lookbook]
In 2k8, there was the electro jungle, populated by entry levels in Am Appy headbands + neon/Afrikan leggings & altbros in oversized graphic print tees. Now that we live in a less-electro era, we will venture into the Conceptual Forest. In this forest, we can hear songs more conceptual, open-ended songs. The Conceptual Forest is an incubator for authentic expression and progressive techniques of recording sounds.


In the Conceptual Forest, our minds are free, and we seek 'meaning' that we cannot find in a major metropolitan area. We are alone in this Conceptual Forest, allowing us to get in touch with who we truly are.

Will u leave a major metropolitan area 2 find urself [via the Conceptual Forest] in 2k9? (At least maybe take a weekend trip?)

/// We are living in a Post-Merriweather Post Pavilion World
/// And I am a Conceptual Bro


[Photo by The Cobrasnake]
When I grow up into the alt that I will one day be, I want to have a cut of hair in the shape of a spacious mixing bowl, with a well-defined plane of man bangs. (Sorry yall--still just trying 2 trendhunt a lot in 2k9. Not sure if I'm going to convert my progressive 1999 Caesar cut into a bowl cut just yet).

This bro is me.
This browl cut is me.
The bowl on my head is my hair.
These are my man bangs--they are functional
/// keeping the bowl out of my eyes.
/// and my metaphorical 'head' held 'high.'


I am a photographer bro
in a sea of alts
Searching for
meaningful images
to capture 4evr

While I don't believe in G-d
or an afterlife
I kind of believe in souls
because I capture something when I take pictures

Learned how to hack the web
and build a site
that is web 1.0
making it more authentic than web 2.0 bullshit

These are my dreams
to one day become a relevant photographer
for magazines
and blogs
and nightlife
and life
and pix of my bffs
with a valuable site
that people fly me to 'cover'

In 10 years, you will look back on my website
and it will be kind of like a relevant cultural museum
kinda like
the graveyard that is myspace

My New Camera Will Open Your Eyes To My World.

[via lookbook]
I have been asking for a new camera for the past year.
This Christmas, I finally received one.
This Christmas, my life Changed.

(I actually already had a camera, but the resolution wasn't high enough for my needs)

My camera will travel with me everywhere.
It will be your gateway to my perspective of the world.
What I find meaningful
will be captured

What I find meaningful
will exist
until my hard drive crashes

What I see
is what I find meaningful
because my eyes
are seeing it
and my heart
is feeling it
and my mind
is thinking it
and my me
is being it.

I like the way I look
I like the way my friends look
I like the way my city looks
I will create a picture
which represents my life

This bro is me.
This bear mask may or may not be a metaphor

I can take a picture of all nouns.

One day I will tire of digital photography
and 'get back to basics.'
While my pictures will not be
easy to share with friends and family
[via popular photo sharing websites]
If a photo is unsharable,
does that make it more personal,
more meaningful to me?

Digital Photography will not meet my needs
I want
instant gratification
[via printed out photo]

I will pin these photos on my wall
or put them on my dashboard
or put them in a photo album
that only 5 people will see
gathering dust on a shelf
(Part of the photo hardcopy never dies)

I will take a photo of
last night's party
last night's meaningful convo
last night's night drive
last night's wardrobe
last night's face hunt
last night's face hunting cobrasnake
last night's last night

I recently received a new camera.
Next year my parents will buy me an accessory for my camera
which allegedly makes it more 'practical'
if u live [via the past]

The camera is my mirror
It is my pen // I am a writer
The camera is my livejournal
The camera is my blogspot
The camera is my xanga
The camera is my wordpress
The camera is my tumblr
The camera is my twitpic
The camera is my myspace
The camera is my facebook
The camera is my friendster
The camera is my personal brand
The camera is my internet brand
The camera is my youtube account
The camera is my google image search
The camera is my 'hot hot sex'
The camera is my phone.
/// // ////
Does my phone have a camera in it?
Or does my camera have a phone in it?
Or does my Macbook have a phone in it?
Or does my Mac have a photobooth in it?
Or does my Skype have a vlog in it?
Or does my _____ have a ______ in it?
(This is a metaphor and/or post-rhetorical question.)

This is a post on Christmas.

Christmas [via haiku(s)]

U humanize me.
We are all family, yall.
Gift cards//white macbooks.

New Am Appy Ads
Best X-Mas Gift Ever, Yall.
Perfect alt breastes.

Carles, plz post a n00d.
h8 young titties in my mouf.
Need alt cougar milf.

[Photo by thecobrasnake]

Got some gift cards, yall.
Felt closer 2 HRO.
Carles s0 gets my life.

Got Kinkos Gift Card
Party promoter future
Tyte Party Fliers

SoMe milkshake bro.
Sharing meaningful bromance.
2 Straws, 1 cup, yall.

My stocking stuffers
The Best Alt Accessories
Personal Branding

New macbook means a new life.
No more youtube crash.

Meeting high school friends
Showing off the brand new me
They will not 'get' me.

They went to state school.
Horizons are not broadened.
I am self-aware.


Going to visit
my extended family
They still use dial up.

Glad local mall got
a Mac store and Am Appy
Are they mainstream now?

60 year old broad
Employed by Stephen JobsBro
Working at Mac Store

HRO Christmas
is not very meaningful
Remember Thnxgv?

Still h8 family
Will never 'get' my alt life.
Plz serve tofurkey.

Thank you mom and dad
Created paypal account
Ordered rare t-shirt


Xmas Wish Came True
Parents Bought me an AZN
Human Trade Market

I started 2 cry
Malnourished AZN in bag
Fed scraps from table

<3 yall.
h8 yall.
miss yall.

Children of the Street

I know most of yall don't care about my Sirius playlists, so I will start experimenting with a posting method 2 keep from isolating yall. [via Poem + Playlist]

[Photo by thecobrasnake]
We are the children of the street
The cool air lifts our spirits
It is almost winter again
This means cardigan weather.

When I walked out the door
my parents gave me a look

I will channel these into my art
I will take my personal brand to the next level
I will prove that there is a reason that I am the way that I am
This bro is me.

Do not smile at the camera
This ruins our collective brand
(in2 the distance)



The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

  • Broken Social Scene - 7/4 (Shoreline)
  • Junior Senior - Headphone Song [link to vintage post]
  • Cut Copy - Out There on Ice
  • Gil Mantera's Party Dream - Elmo's Wish
  • Digitalism - Pogo (Shinichi Osawa Remix)
  • Glass Candy - Etheric Device
  • The Golden Filter - Solid Gold [MP3]
  • Friendly Fires - I'm Good, I'm Gone (Lykke Li cover)
  • Klaxons - As Above, So Below (Justice Remix)
  • Phoenix - Holdin' on Together
  • Ladyhawke - Back of the Van
  • Metronomy - A Thing For Me (Breakbot Remix) [MP3]
  • Starfucker - Florida [[LIVE performances/Portland commentary]
  • Lali Puna - Faking the Books
  • The Twelves - I Feel Fine [MP3]
  • Phoenix - Too Young
  • The Whitest Boy Alive - Golden Cage (Fred Falke Remix)
  • LCD Sound System - Someone Great
  • Josh Rouse - Christmas with Jesus
  • Sufjan Stevens - Star of Wonder
  • The Notwist - This Room
  • The Kings of Convenience - Stay Out of Trouble
  • Kleerup - Until We Bleed (feat. Lykke Li)
  • We Have Band - Oh!
  • Vince Guaraldi Trio - Christmas Time is Here
  • The Cardinals - My Heart is Broken

Have yall heard n e 'relevant' music lately?
I heard there is no new music in December because people don't want to be left off prematurely published 'Best of 2k8' lists/forgotten about in 'best of 2k9' lists.

"Suburbia", a Concept Poem by HIPSTER RUNOFF

[Photo by Lookbook.nu]
I am one bro // standing in the backyard
Which my parents built
They raised me--and gave me space to play
I chose to stay indoors.
I chose to express myself.
I asked for a sewing machine for Christmas.
My dad gave me an XBox 360.
I h8 this home and these parents and these norms.

The internet is the place where I find the pictures
of the places where I want 2 b
and the people who I want 2 b.
Senior year ending--early acceptance to Design School.

I will return home for Thanksgiving Break
and shat down upon this lawn
and shat down upon areas without public transportation
and shat down upon the people from my high school who didn't 'get' me
and they still do not 'get' me bc they have not seen what I have seen.

This picture is me.
This bro is me.
Alternatively enlightened

// I will pull myself up from my bootstraps.

The AltDog Mirrors Alternative Humanity

A lot of people probably remember the alternative dog, Minnie. He was 2007's #1 myspacer worth blogging about back when there used to be myspacers worth blogging about. (I think most myspacers with strong personal brands are developing youtube personalities now.) If you look at the altdog from 2007, you are reminded of the bloghousiest year in the history of the Earth. Back then, electro music was just invented, and we were all looking to escape from our indie / indiecore/ meaningful core pasts. Bright colours and zany accessories were the norm--we just wanted to express ourselves.

If you look at the altdog from 2k9.1, you'll notice a more subdued personal dog brand, representative of our current electro recession.

[Photo by Daniel Tishbi]
The implementation of the child predator glasses represent a sort of an alternative 'thinking man' who is resigned to his poor eyesight, but still eager to brand himself. His lack of neon clothing is a 'back to basics look', which is kinda like burning all of your neon altbro clothes, and moving forward with a pastel/earth toned personal brand.

It's kinda weird how it's already 2k9.
I'm nervous.
Should I make my blog layout 'less neon'?
What is the colour scheme of 2k9?
What is this year gonna be all about?
Which band will die in a plane/bus/van crash? [THE HRO PROPHECY]
Will 'alt' end in 2k9?


They were the best of times, they were the worst of times
They were the altest of times, they were the entry-levelest of times
A time b4 the mainstreamers
And our retailers
reached out to the masses
who were trying to be alt
Mainstream became alt
and indie became electro
and electro became ________
I do not know electro
I do not know blog house
For I am a lone altbro
Trying 2 find his tug in the world
and differentiate his personal brand
2 turn tables and an Am Appy Hoodie
Miss the way things used 2 b
H8 the way things used 2 b
<3 the way things used 2 b

Should I Stop Blggng?

I am a blog.
I often wonder how life would be if I decided 2 be 'human after all' (yall).

I might start a t-shirt business and make sillie, colourful shirts.

Or maybe I'll be a street artist who makes art inspired by popular songs.

Maybe I'll try to win a couple of gold medals at the special olympics/hipster olympics/altOlympics. Mikey Phelps was rlly inspiring, yall.

I might spend the rest of my life trying to find creative ways to implement body art that makes girls feel like they can be my BFF and/or BF by 'tugging me off'

[Photo by Icanteach u how 2 do it]

If I didn't blog, maybe I would have time to find out what Scientology was truly about, as opposed to just thinking it suxxx bc DJ Mom Jeans is the #1 Scientologist in the World (right in front of Thom Cruise's child)

Should I spend the rest of my life trying to find out what a meme is?
Should I stop blogging for 6 months to work on the HRO EP in order to change the way people view BlogHaus for the rest time (a.k.a. until the world ends in 2012)?
Am I not over Alice Glass?
Am I not over Uffie?

Am I just worried because all ElectroWar Officers are kinda fruity?

[Photo by Dublin Streets]

Should I stop blggng?
Am I altDepressed?


SHOULD I spend the rest of my life hanging around my apartment in protective electroWar gear because I am afraid of finding out 'what death feelz lyke'?

Should Carles just start blogging for Obama/the preggers girl's mom and/or social change?

Should I determine how much HRO is worth by putting it on eBay?
Should I make it an auction, or have a BUY IT NOW price?
Should I bring back myspacers worth blogging about?
Should I marry a myspacer worth blogging about after we apply for positions at Chili's, eventually working our way up to store manager after 5 years of being a bartender & hooking up my friends with 2-for-1 Mexican Martinis?

Should I do more for the Blipster Rights Movement?

[Photo by SharkVsBear]

Should I send in my resume to Pitchfork even though I only have a GED and 5 incomplete semesters at an Arts College Institute Thingy?

Should I stop drinking and start only chilling on ReddiWhipz?

What should I do yall? I'm a blog. I get confused sometimes. What's life all about?
Is there more to life in post-2k8 than just 'consuming/creating/forgetting memes'?
Can I even appreciate music n e m0re?
What happens if blogs die? Will Blog House die, too?
I'm scared, yall.


chewing on glass candy on a vampirey weekend///
free me from these shackles
society is bullshit
wish I was a cool dad
able to speak my mind at
political rallies against McCain
and play rocknroll
without knowing what bloghouse is
make me a bird
so i can fly--far, far
//away ))
driving in deathcabs for postal srvc
If hypemachine dies
will I die--too?
u can't cut copy ur life
if I learn how 2 love
will I find an altDiva
2 love me 4evr?
life// happens//in between
party // pix
help me(me)
I am the bloodiest beetroot.
Liberty, and Jousteece for all

a poem by
runoff carles runoff

4evr on the Internet.

A child once tweeted at his father:
"@Daddy, how long is 4evr?"

The father took a moment before replying:
"@Son, 4evr is 4evr."

The son looked at his mobile device
and tried 2 understand.
How long is 4evr on the internet?

Can your content on the internet live on 4evr on the internet?
Will websites on the internet last 4evr?
Will people on the internet live 4evr?
Longer than they live IRL

Digital footprint
lasting 4evr
[via the cloud]
stored on multiple servers in multiple locations

U will last 4evr somewhere
published on the internet.
Ur status message could be read
at the Bibliotecque of Congress.

Longer than U?
Longer than me?
4evr on the internet.

I am 4evr on the internet
I am 4evr
I am
I am on the internet
4evr on the internet I am

so afraid to die
but the internet was the escape
information on the internet
to distract us from the end
by broadcasting into something that would last 4evr

It has to mean something
(It meant nothing)

The son replied back to his father:
"@dad #4evr is #4evr"

The father tweeted into the infinite abyss of internet:

Directed at no1
Directed at every1

Relevance on the Internet.

Every day
The internet exists.
Things happen
While people on the internet watch.

Sometimes things will happen that people want information about.
There are websites on the internet
providing content on the internet
which can focus on a particular trend on the internet.

When lots of people want to know information
about a person, place, thing or idea
It is 'relevant'
People on the internet are trying to stay relevant in real life
[via watercooler convo]
Sharing links on Facebook feeds and Twitters
with content on the internet that has an 'angle' with which they can identify.

Websites on the internet can be relevant on the internet.
People on the internet can be relevant on the internet.
Trends on the internet are basically always relevant on the internet.
Content on the internet can 'go viral'. I am not sure if that is actually relevant.

Relevance on the internet can come quickly.
Relevance on the internet fades even quicklier.
Relevance on the internet is impossible.
Relevance on the internet is a lie.

Websites on the internet turn into digital graveyards.
Myspace, Friendster, dead blogs of yesterday, failed viral meme blogs.
Today, there is a new relevant website on the internet
Covering the latest relevant trends on the internet
for the latest demographic of people on the internet
Producing strategic content on the internet

Relevance on the internet
is a lie that u tell urself
2 convince urself
that it all wasn't a huge waste of time.

Words on the Internet.

There are words on the internet.
We read them every day
Sometimes we click on them.
Sometimes the words are big, sometimes they are small.

Typography on the internet.
Words on the internet are sometimes ideas.
Sometimes there are lots of words
Sometimes there are only a few words.

Words are placed side by side
with a space between them
so that people can read them
String them together to form ideas
Place an idea in a relevant context.

Words on the internet are shared
compartmentalized into pages
Click thru to the next page

Read more.
Read more.
Read more.
Read Less by Reading more.

Words are assembled

These words are on the internet.
If they weren't here, they'd be somewhere else.
Some words are worth money
Others are not worth money.

Words put together for you
Words that make you feel something
Words that will not be forgotten
Words that will be forgotten immediately

Words abused.
Words neglected.
Words that once made a difference.
Words that once meant something to someone.

A book is a pile of words
A website is a pile of words
A pamphlet is a pile of words
A twitterstream is a pile of words

What makes words mean something?

Words on
The Internet


Meme, Blog, Alternative Celebrity

Carles is the popular blogger from the popular internet website HIPSTER RUNOFF.

Read more>>>>

How do u break thru the noise of the internet?

How do u break thru the noise of the internet?
Not 4 the sake of $$$$$$ [via mad hitz]
but returning to the pure vibes of Feelings on the Internet

Do voices on the internet still resonate with ppl?
Or do we now only follow ppl to 'hate follow' them
as if they are some self-obsessed, delusional human being?
Did we always?

Is the internet still a place where ppl want 2 'be enriched'
or has modern culture been simplified into slideshow content?
Every website telling u that they are on a hunt 4 trends
while ultimately destroying a contextual relevance for a legitimate trend

How do u break thru the noise of the internet?
Who is truly an 'influencer' any more,
besides that 1 bro who called the Electoral Votes perfectly
He seems chill

How do u break thru the noise of the internet?
Covering over-covered topics
Over-thinking thinkpieces
#trending the in-the-moment trend

As web brands continue 2 acquire 'huge audiences'
What does winning the fight for the 'internet passer-by' really mean?
Is the internet 'officially' as lame as outdated magazine content,
except it might be worse bc there's so much more of it?

How do u break thru the noise of the internet?
& 'what 4?'

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