HIPSTER RUNOFF

I was reading some news story about how Osama Bin Laden has a son named Omar. I was like 'whoa. Osama had time 2 pop out a lil Osama Jr?' But then I remember reading that he had tons of women that he could utilize as human shields, so I'm sure he got to 'bareback' them whenever he wanted 2, resulting in a few kids.

Anways, his son, Omar Bin Laden is trying to be all like, "U didn't kill my father."

I Omar Ossama Binladin and my brothers the lawful children and heirs of the Ossama Binladin (OBL) have noted wide coverage of the news of the death of our father, but we are not convinced on the available evidence in the absence of dead body, photographs, and video evidence that our natural father is dead. Therefore, with this press statement, we seek such conclusive evidence to believe the stories published in relation to 2 May 2011 operation Geronimo as declared by the President of United States Barrack Hussein Obama in his speech that he authorized the said operation and killing of OBL and later confirmed his death.

If OBL has been killed in that operation as President of United States has claimed then we are just in questioning as per media reports that why an unarmed man was not arrested and tried in a court of law so that truth is revealed to the people of the world. If he has been summarily executed then, we question the propriety of such assassination where not only international law has been blatantly violated but USA has set a very different example whereby right to have a fair trial, and presumption of innocence until proven guilty by a court of law has been sacrificed on which western society is built and is standing when a trial of OBL was possible for any wrongdoing as that of Iraqi President Sadam Hussein and Serbian President Slobodan Miloševic'. We maintain that arbitrary killing is not a solution to political problems and crime's adjudication as Justice must be seen to be done.

Listen, Omar. We killed ur dad. I'm sorry abt that. Even though he chose a life of terror, living on the run instead of raising u. Taking you to youth soccer games. Helping you with relationship issues. Making sure you stayed on top of your AP Calculus homework. As an American, I can guarantee that we shot ur dad in the head 2x... Then we let his body vibe out at sea.

Omar... I hope ur okay... 4 real...
U seem chill [via dreadlocks]...
But more importantly...
R u alt?
R u an Arab alt?
What's ur personal brand all about?
Those are some pretty intense Matrix-wave/Battlefield Earth wave dreadlocks.
Vibing out in some black leather [via the Jousteeces]

I wonder what his existence is all about.
Do u think he can 'beat off' in peace, or are international intelligence agencies always tracking him, wondering if his dad will contact him?

I wonder if there was a Daniel Plainview moment [via There Will Be Blood] where Osama Bin Laden had 2 'abandon his son' bc he thought his life's mission was more important. Now his whole identity is probably about 'outdoing' his father, but he probably can't because every1 is watching him. More than likely, he probably just wants to chill out and be a little bit more American.

Omar probably developed an alternative point-of-view to help him deal with his father being so absent in his life. He had to resort to 'consumerism' 2 buy his needs with terrorist-network money that his dad left in his bank account to buy Calvin Klein t-shirts and go on 'sick benders' in Qatar.

I have a hard time really judging 'Third World Alts' unless there is a VICE or New York Times trend piece about them. To me, this lil red had seems pretty 'alt', but for all I know, this is a mainstream fashion in the Arab world.

I can't tell if he is riding this horse to 'go green' and preserve alt environmental ideals, or if Arab ppl just srsly ride horses and carry around swords and 'go on crusades', trying to kill ppl and chop their heads off. I know I sound really naive and American, but I just want 2 know 'what makes an Arab alt'?

Arab Alt = American mainstreamer?

Srsly though... Are 'alt Arabs' just the dudes who look like they wear leather, smell like heavy cologne, and look like bros who 'hit the club hard' and buy prostitutes?

Or is there some sort of underground-underground alt living in the Arab / Muslim world that we don't know abt bc they aren't allowed on twitter?
Can u be 'alternative' in the Eastern World?
Without 'American ideas', can u form any sort of relevant iteration of 'alternative' and apply it 2 ur personal brand?
Do u believe Osama Bin Laden is still alive?
Do u think Osama is hiding in Omar's body?
Can Omar Bin Laden ever 'deal with the pain' of losing his father (not just via assassination, but via his life)? Will Omar ever be able 2 build his own personal brand instead of just being 'Osama's son'?

Photos via Torontoist

Every year or so, some summit happens called the G20. I don't even know what really happens there, who goes, or what global leaders are trying to solve/talk about. Mainly just exists as some sort of opportunity for a city to 'waste tons of money on security' and for tons of rebellious spirits who h8 society to 'protest' against society/the government/the world/the Illuminati / miscellaneous constraints of the human spirit via 'bullshit'. It seems like a 'protest' doesn't even really mean anything any more. Like many 'real life' events, it has sort of degenerated into the kind of event that is mainly created to 'create sweet web media', whether it is a youtube vid, a .jpg, or even a dramatic gif. Feel like these protesters in Toronto are just 'internet meme generating ass holes' who don't 'give a damn' about the world, and only really care about making people on the internet LOL. Honestly feel like in our meme society, the lolcat might be the only universal currency. I guess the riot cops provide a great 'backdrop' to create a surrealist meme. Feel like it is 'human nature' to want to see people getting beat up by cops [via the Rodney King theory], then reflect on the power of the government. Bros who 'didnt graduate from high school' can unite with 'unemployed bros who graduated with a worthless degree from an expensive university' under the same goal: "H8 society for misleading me/leaving me trapped.' Just wish I could protest 'with song'. Brought my guitar to the protest hoping to throw down some Jack Johnson-esque vibes, but the cops totally killed our chill waves. Is it authentic to wear a Bob Marley 'One Love' t-shirt to a protest? Might start a meme blog called lesbians who look like little boys getting their asses beat by riot police . tumblr . com Maybe I'll just take my flip cam and 'vlog' live from the middle of the violent areas, putting a buzzband soundtrack to make my video seem 'more bad ass/bloggable.'

Worried abt Foot Locker. Thought it was our right as members of the Western World to own the 'sweetest pair of sneakers' possible [via the Post Michael Jordan world] Glad the GAP stayed safe. Might go get some on sale t-shirts and socks later Sad that Am Appy didn't play it safe, and ended up with human feces in their store. [link] Do u think she h8s cell phone stores because of how much they charge for data plans? Maybe she wouldn't be so violent if she knew that Droid Does Apps. Wonder if there is a Home Depot / Lowe's nearby where u can pick up plywood / weapons / hammers / etc. Maybe an Outdoor shop is a better place to get a pick axe 'Totes gonna make this my facebook profile default pic.' This bro seems to be getting 'mad air', Shaun White style. Wonder if he got those boxers at The Gap / Old Navy. Wonder if they are really 'anarchists' or just people who want to 'fuck shit up.' Really hope 1 of these g20 things comes to my city soon. Want to go to my local mall and 'break some windows.

Do yall believe in anarchy or capitalism? are these real anarchists, or just bros who eat McDonalds like every1 else? Keut cutoff + bandana combo I wonder which 1 has a longer-lasting psychological impact on u: getting arrested [via handcuffs] OR getting arrested [via plastic cord binding ur hands together]. (you probably aren't a legitimate threat 2 society if u can be restrained by a plastic cord.) Local Business Owners should probably h8 society. 'I proposed 2 my wife at the G20 protest. Our pic symbolizes love in the face of a mad world.' ////CONTINUE READING///

Photo via thechillerwhale

Flag burning alts,
What are you trying to prove?
Burning Old Glory over your coal-powered BBQ pit
If only u knew how beautiful our great country was
If only u knew abt those men who died 4 u in wars
If only u remembered what they taught u in American History (X)

Many Americans have 'come 2gether as 1', uniting around our coloured President's 1st year in office
but others still continue to rebel
continue to laugh with their bros
as 50 stars & 50 stripes burn {like a candle in the wind [via Eltons Johnson]}

If only BBQ pits were 'regulated'
and we could ensure that humans only burned animal-based foods on them
I can imagine how America feels, since Carles was once the victim of a metaphorical product burning.

Shame on any alt who BBQs the American flag
Shame on any alt who burns a war movie, such as 'Platoon', 'Saving Private Ryan', or 'In the Army Now.'
Shame on any alt who thinks that this is good for 'our scene.'
////worried about the 'national media' writing a piece about how 'hipsters hate america and have flag burning parties'

Wonder if it is still 'alt' 2 h8 America, or if it is chill to <3 America.
Felt confused after I some of my high school ex-bros etched a swastika on a local golf course, mashed up with Obama.

Might open up an online tshirt boutique, kinda like how people can <3 NY.

Might get buzzed and watch a zany comedy about 3 Americans who enlist, get deployed 2 Iraq, but accidentally end up in Mexico and think that the 'fucking beaners' are the 'Iraqi Savages.'

God Bless America
Support our Troops
(Sorta missin George W. Bush. Worried Obama wasn't the right man 4 the job.)

Remember the time those alts dressed up as 'the twin towers' [via 9-11]?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/seen-any-possibly-inappropriate-costumes-lately.html

Hope this isn't a metaphor.

(worried that the PBR brand will get tied to this scandal)

I was reading my twitter homepage the other day, and I couldn't help but notice some 'scathing snark comments' from the popular bloghouse-to-mainstream rapper M.I.A.

It seems like she is 'talking mad shit' about our President Barack Obama. Apparently he won 1st prize in the metaphorical 'Best Human on the Planet' awards [via Nobel Peace Prize]. It seems like something that we should celebrate whether or not he deserves it and whether or not the Award 'means anything.' It is an important step in rebranding our nation to the rest of the world. It seems like winning this award might 'convince the rest of the world that the USA is a chill place, trying 2 make some positive changes.' It seems like M.I.A. is 'trying to take a shit' on our nation/our leader/etc. Seems hard for me to identify with artists who don't see America as being 'fucking awesome', even when we had a Repubby President. We must support our leaders. Sorta wish ppl were punished when they performed public acts of rebellion. Wish our government monitored twitter, kinda like Iran.

I am not sure if M.I.A. lives in the USA. It seems like these types of 'snark comments' might make her some sort of person on a list of 'bad people' according to the US govt, since she has been linked 2 'terrorist groups' or something.. It seems like making anti-Obama statements might diminish her appeal to liberal alts. Like there might be Protests outside of her shows in the United States by liberals and conservatives.

I am not sure if the Nobel Peace Prize is still a 'prestigious' award. It seems like it would be comparable to some sort of 'Blog Awards' that reward 'The Best Blog on the Planet' or something. Or possibly an 'MTV Award' in film/music/music videos. Seems like a nice process, but it ultimately helps the awards show when u can 'brand the award' with the most popular performers. Think I might start an 'awards system' for some sort of alternative genre, and maybe it will appear to be 'more real' over time.

But still, it's 'fucking awesome' that Barry Obama was named the most Noble Human on the Planet. A Bro Who Branded himself as 'Hope' & 'Change' finally gets some sort of reward (besides the Presidency). Seems like a 'huge victory' for 'us.'

We can never forget who we are as a nation, and our special mission as 'the best nation in the World.' We must stay unified in our beliefs and steadfast in the American way. Any1 who does not approve of our way of life is a terrorist since they don't 'get' us and are ultimately trying 2 harm us. God has truly blessed our nation, and we must accept our responsibility to 'bring good' to the rest of the world. You are either a patriot or a terrorist--there is nothing in between.

Nvr Frgt.

Will u boycott M.I.A.?
R u proud of Barry Obammy?
Can the USA 'rebrand' itself 2 the world?
R u a patriot or a terrorist?

Previous M.I.A. Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/mia

I believe that Barrack Obama is a modern President dealing with modern problems. Not just 'mainstream' problems like 'dealing with the Brown part of the world' or 'trying to reduce our national debt', but problems that 'real people' can 'relate to.' I was recently looking at this picture of Obama 'having a serious discussion' with an AZN intern about his employment status. Apparently, this White House intern had numerous photos of himself in 'provocative situations' posted on his facebook, and even had very 'racist' and 'sexual' twitter posts on his @twitter. He even had an embedded picture of a 'marijuana leaf' and 'a Bob Marley gif' on his myspace page.

Unfortunately, many republicans have called for the AZN bro to be fired/executed. As u can see in the photograph, he is remorseful, and looking for @BarresObames to be 'a bro' in his time of need.

I am not sure if he deserves to be fired. I think that all young people in America below the age of 23 deserve to 'express themselves' freely on the internet. It's part of living a healthy life. It doesn't matter if your online presence is 'out there' or even 'controversial.' It doesn't always mean ur the same on the internet as u r in real life. Wish ppl could understand that 'disconnect.' Wish they'd realize that ppl like the internet because u can seem 'better than u actually are' and also 'bully people' legally.

I think that in the past 'old people' have never been able to 'get' why young ppl talk 2 eachother all of the time, whether via internet or text message. Now that Barry Obama used 'the internet' 2 win an election, he 'understands' that young ppl need to 'chill on the internet' in order to 'remain healthy.' I am hoping that he lets this slide, and he can set a good example for all employers who fire ppl because they 'posted something bad' online.

Do yall think the AZN should be fired?
Should employers be allowed 2 'look at ur twitter/fb/myspace'?
Should I 'deactivate all of my pages' since I am looking for a job?
Is Obama a 'dictator'?
Should we create 'internment camps' and ship AZNs to them, and only allow them to use xanga/other online tools that 'basically only AZNs use'?
Should we 'nuke the fuck out of' Iran?

Every now and then, I am in a campus computer lab, and I check the popular blog CNN.com so that people behind me think that I 'care about the world' + 'miscellaneous global issues.' I happened to see that there was some sort of election in Iran.

There was apparently some President bro who wore Palestinian scarves. He h8s America, apparently, and used to 'take shits on pix of George W. Bush.'

Then there was some sort of Barry Obama-like candidate in Iran. He used twitter and facebook to 'get mad hits' from 'young ppl. Then the election happened, and it was 'bullshit' because it was 'rigged' to get the 'i h8 America bro' 2 win. There is some religious bro named The Ayatollah who also h8s America, and loves his version of Gawd.

I think he has also been 'a fuckhead' according to America for a very long time.

So n e ways, the Iranian Govt shut down facebook+twitter or something, and then the young people had nothing 2 do, so they 'took to the streets' to march + riot. Seems like what I would do if I didn't have sweet ass social networks to chill on.

Think this might be some sort of 'altbro rebellion'. Wonder if 'riot pix' are the same as 'party pix' in Iran.

Sorta wish I had an excuse to 'dress up' in Green Am Appy tshirts then 'beat the shit out of shit' instead of just 'physically and mentally abusing my GF/

Damn. Heard that even riot police 'got their shit fucked up.'

Feel sad about fallen bros.

Think that this might be some sort of Calvin Klein product placement.

Damn. Seems 'serious.' Like a music festival meets a weekend crafts + activities fair in the alternative part of town.

Not sure how to feel about this 'rigged' election. From what I understand, the United States has a system called 'Electoral Colleges' which mean that u don't have to win the vote to win. I feel like Iranians possibly need to understand this so that they are not pissed about life. Feel like they need to accept that 'government' is bullshit, and possibly move on.

All in all, this made me love America more. I feel like we often think that other countries 'h8 us' or 'dont wanna be us', but over time, we learn that there is a significant number of people who would do anything to live The American Dream. We have s000 much stuff that we take for granted, even if it is small stuff like getting to create a facebook group called 'I'm Wanna Fuck Barry Obama.' We have s00 many political freedoms, and for the most part, we have a free-spirited/blood-thirsty media who get to make sure that conspiracies don't really happen. Would feel sad if the government controlled the news instead of just 'rich people.'

It's kinda weird... I have met a few Persians in my life, and I thought they only cared about things like medical schools, name brands, nice cars, clubbing, and living in gated communities/Los Angeles/Houston. I thought that they h8ed America, and that I had nothing in common with them. But now I guess I 'shouldnt judge them' and accept that we all want to be the same. We all want to have an EZ life, where justice prevails, and we all get to chill on social networks.

Srsly tho... is Barry Obama going to reinstitute 'THE DRAFT' and make us fight against Persian in the_Final_War? Worried about having to fight in the war. Not sure if I wanna serve 4 my country.

Are yall scared?
Is this 'an injustice'?
Do u know any Persians and what are they like IRL?
Should we just 'nuke the Middle_East'? kinda like George W. Bush said?
Do yall think Obama is 'chilling too hard'?

Sometimes I wonder what 'the next big technologie' is and what sort of idea will change the way that we all consume a certain product/live my life. Sort of wish I could invent something that would make the world a better place by inspiring pure joy out of humans, and also 'make me hella rich' and possibly socially relevant to every1. Sorta like Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Benjamin Franklin or Jason Twitter.

I feel like if I could have invented anything in the past 1000 years, I would have invented the popular vending machines called 'redboxes.'

Even though they sound like a vending machine that somehow 'gives u a blowjy', they are actually a DVD rental system, specifically aimed at poor people who shop at Wal Mart or eat at McDonalds regularly, and particularly at a special group of poors who shop at WalMarts and eat at a McDonalds within a WalMart.

Basically, u get to rent a movie for $1 from a redbox. Instead of dealing with Netflix's high subscription cost, or going into an overpriced store like the Blockbuster, u get to easily rent a movie for just $1. It seems almost 'too good to be true.' Sorta wish they also sold popcorn and Milk Duds in the same machine.

I feel like we're always so busy reading about bold new technological innovations that we forget that we are the socially elite members of society, and believe it or not, we are a minority. Real people can't find entertainment in things like twitter because their lives' are boring and they haven't reached a respectable level of self-awareness. They just see life as a trivial routine of going to work, eating, and shitting. Why would they value social networks or memes if they are basically living a dumb life with no desire for a 'creative outlet' where 'a tribe' is able to keep up with u? Real people 'know better' and don't try to cultivate value from feeling close to people on the internet, and they just try to find simple pleasures and stay happy+unhealthy.

I want to get more in touch with 'the common man.' The regular 'dudes and chicks' who are just looking for something to take up their time between the hours of 5-11:30 pm (the time after work, but before bed). Sometimes TV is pretty sweet, and eating can take up a lot of time too. Might get into a dead end relationship, start eating tons of 'shitty food', and chill my way over to a redbox everynight, telling myself that I'm 'getting a sweet deal.'

I get s00 tired of Barack Obama saying that we need 2 'get more technological' to save the economy, like some 'huge breakthru' is gonna save us. He needs to realize that we need to sell down market, creating an economy of 'poor people' who think that they 'have luxuries' and stuff like that. We need to help them feel empowered by making their lives' easier. While so many of the headlines go to things like 'twitter', 'macbook', and 'iPhone' just because they are overwhelming brands, we really need to realize that simple things make money too. Simple things last forever, that's why soda machines still chill in every building in America. For $1, you can have the pleasure of a refreshing cola beverage.

Feel like we need more vending machines, like pizza vending machines

Or possibly games where u 'have a slim chance of winning' but still give u 'hope' that ur special+smart+competent enough to win, like the game STACKER, or that game where you have to knock tokens over the edge to 'win.'

I believe that America can recover from 'the recession', but we have to admit that we are what we are. We have to admit that we are probably only a top20 nation in the world, and that we can build a self-sustaining economy if we just admit that we are humans who have simple pleasures. Sorta like a high school kid who 'thought he should get into an Ivy League school' but then realized he was only 'smarter than the dumb people in his/her high school' and 'started to settle for social acceptance as a reward.' We must get in touch with ourselves'. We can eat well until we die and watch cool shit every night [via HD]. Feel like we need to stop trying to be 'extremely innovative' and possibly just 'execute simple ideas.'

If ur a student going into college, I would encourage you to major in Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, Marketing, or Communications. These majors will enable you to see how the world works, and teach you to make good decisions about life.

See yall later. Gonna go rent a movie for $1. Hope I return it on times so I'm not charged $25. Get lazy sometimes but at least I get to keep a sweet DVD.

Please use the comments section to pitch ur ideas+economic recovery plan to 'the government.'

Photo via MIA blog

As yall know, popular rapper M.I.A. has a personal brand that is 'very political.' I'm not even sure where she is from, or what this flier is encouraging me to do. I think it is for some governmental election or something. She is apparently 'giving away an mp3' for people who vote. I'm not sure if you get a 'redemption code' after you vote, or if this is some sort of online election, like hotornot.com.

I wonder if M.I.A. has enough reach to impact an election. Maybe if the election was in Sri Lanka/Brooklyn, but I am afraid that it will be a difficult for her to sway the vote of people who don't listen to indie/mainstream rap. I feel like if I were a political candidate, and some sort of 'zany minority with ties to terrorist groups' supported me, I would say 'thank u, but could u keep quiet.'

It's weird when celebs have a personal brand that is 'political.' It's like u know they are yapping about something 'important', but you sort of just filter it all out as 'noise' and just think 2 urself 'thats nice that they wanna make an 'impact' or something.'

How do u feel about celebs with a political voice?
Do u want to be elected to a political position 1 day?
Do u think that M.I.A. should take a graphic design course a community college?
Does M.I.A. need to pick more authentic fonts/colour schemes?
Do yall think M.I.A. used PAINT or PHOTOSHOP 2 design this flier?

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Lists: rappers, indie songstresses, annoying ppl, 2k10 buzzbands

Read more>>>>

I watched this video of rapper M.I.A. being interviewed by snarky political comedian Bill Maher. I know that M.I.A. is political and shit, but I never really knew what she was talking about. Glad that Bill Maher sort of 'spoke for her' and 'explained the issue' that she keeps blabbing about. Not even sure if I 'get it.' I feel like I might only care about American issues, or issues that cause the American govt to spend money so I can complain about how there are potholes in my roads even though we are spending money on the war in Iraq.  Sort of just wish that she would 'rap' over some sweet beats (produced by Diplo) instead of 'talking about issues and shit.'

From what I understand:

• M.I.A. is from Sri Lanka
• They are killing the 'minorities' there
• There are crimes and stuff like that going on there
• It is 'bad' and 'serious'
• M.I.A. will write a song called "Paper Planes 2.0" about it
• M.I.A. has black hair but it used to be orange and it is growing out
• Bill Maher thinks American ppl are 'mad stupid'
• M.I.A. lived in the U.K. since age 10

This is a map of Sri Lanka.  I think the green areas are 'less violent' and the yellow areas represent 'more acts of hate and political oppression.'

Just trying to educate yall.  Trying to get yall to care about more global issues.   Wish more celebrities would come up with more creative causes to support instead of just 'supporting Obama.'   Feel like he's boring to support since he is making things worse and led us into economic crisis.

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Lists: rappers, indie songstresses, annoying ppl, 2k10 buzzbands

Read more>>>>

Yall. This is a picture of 'the Ellen/Obama of Iceland', I think. She probably has a charismatic personality or something. Can't believe Iceland elected a homosexual into office. Makes me feel a little bit proud, but also really nervous. Not sure if I really 'believe' that she can turn the Icelandic economie around. Heard that it is really in the shitter because Iceland doesn't produce anything valuable for the world.

Feel sad that Sigur Ros and Bjork are Iceland's most valuable exports.

I think that Iceland is 'pretty doomed.' I feel like they lived so far away from 'civilization' that they started to build some sort of 'imaginary reality.' While that is good for 1-5 artists who become successful, I can't help but stereotype the rest of the population as being 'zany' and 'ppl who wear weird clothes.'

Feel sad that Iceland going to melt [via global warming]. Not sure if Iceland will be around much longer. Wonder if their educational systems are helping out, or if they just have arts&crafts programs instead of 'math.'

I wonder if Icelandic kids see Bjork just like American kids see rappers/athletes. I wonder if they think that 'I will be the next Bjork' and neglect cultivating functional skills that will contribute 2 society.

Does n e 1 know anything about Iceland? Worried about their economy.
Hope the lesbian President works out. Does n e 1 know if Iceland is one of the places where there is still 'mob violence' whenever they want 2 kill a politician/witch?
Is Greeland the new Iceland?
Do yall think the movie 'Milk' made this happen?

But srsly...
is America going to have a 'gay male' President or a 'lesbian' President first? What kind of 'ghey' will they be [via butch/bear/twink/etc.]?
R u going 2 'move 2 france' as soon as a homosexual is elected?