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portapotty

Finding Beauty in the Portable Restroom Experience. Sun, 2009-08-30 14:34 | by Carles
Photo by the StyleShark


Yesterday, I used my Palestinian scarf for something functional. I was attending a large outdoor concert, and I had to urinate. I had to walk to the edge of the property in order to use the portable restrooms that were provided by the festival promoters. As I approached 'the facilities,' I could smell something 'sterile' but also something 'incredibly disgusting.' As if I was standing on the sidelines of a battle between the pungent smell of poo and the cleaning agents that people poo and pee into within portapotties. I covered my nose and mouth with my alternative scarf, as if I was 'actually in the Middle East', and there was a 'massive sandstorm'/fire fight with American troops.

I walked into the portable restroom, and I saw a urinal to the left which had a pipe connecting to the large pool of waste below the toilet seat. I peered down the toilet seat and saw a mountain of feces with a blue tint, matching the royal, synthetic colour of the simulated toilet water. I attempted to hold my breath, but my body's natural desire for air caused me to take in an intense 'whiff' of the excrement of several hundred people. For a moment, I felt like I wanted to vomit, but then I realized that there was beauty in this metabolic breakdown of your body's essential needs. Found beauty in the fact that while I usually 'see people eating' and bond with humanity while sharing feasts...for once I was able to share with 'what comes out of humans.' As if I realized that eating was just a means to this end--pooping.

I looked down at the huge pile of shit stewed with urine, and admired it. For the first time in my life, I felt 'not alone.' I feel like I truly understood that maybe we're all the same. We all eat, we all feel like children, and we all have to poop. A warm smile came over me, as I decided to 'drop a few pieces of love' on top of this pile of humanity. The logs creamed out of my ass hole, as if God had opened up a trendy frozen yogurt shop--no wiping necessary--a clean breakoff executed by my contracting anus. I got up, and saw my two distinct logs piled on top of the blueish brown mound of feces. I paused for a moment, then watched the blue water creep up and tint my defecation. I felt like I was a part of something bigger than myself.

I had a little bit more to urinate, so I decided to move around a used-tampon utilizing the force of my urine stream. It floated around somewhat aimlessly until it settled within the mound of feces. It was as if it found its home. It was as if I found my home. I zipped up my pants, took one last look at 'authentic beauty' and exited the portapotty, most likely never to come back again. It made me happy and sad at the same time--much like 90% of life's most meaningful experiences.

On the way home, I saw some portable toilets being transported to what I could only assume was a large music or cultural festival.

It made me feel a little bit better about life. I hoped that some1 else was able to find the beauty that I found when I shared a unique experience with hundreds of people inside of a portable restroom unit.

Sometimes, it seems like ur looking for beauty in all of the wrong places.

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Blipsterette gets ‘street fashion blogged’, blogger chooses unflattering/racist background Thu, 2010-07-22 07:02 | by Carles
Link: http://chicagolooks.blogspot.com/2010/07/nia.html


Got dressed up super cute
to go to the Pitchfork Music Festival
An outfit that is vintage and sexie
but also functional to beat the summer heat

I was chilling, enjoying modern buzzbands
taking my post-blipster brand to the next level when a photographer+blogger approached me
he/she told me that they had a Street Fashion Blog
and I

I was flattered beyond belief
While I knew I was dressed alt/vintage enough to merit blog coverage
I never thought I would find some1
who had a relevant street fashion blogspot

They took my picture
It made my day
Felt better than listening

I logged on to my Dell Macbook the next day
Loaded up the street fashion blog website
and was mad pissed
that my photo was taken in front of some shitters

H8 u portapotties
Usually street fashion photographs are 'perfectly framed'
in the middle of some high end/vintage street

But I am stuck in front of some portapotties

I shoulda realized
and maybe coulda used my design background to suggest a different location.
Every1 could share the blame
but I was still mad pissed.

Standing in front of the shitter
looking down, ashamed

Not sure if this is some sort of 'racist metaphor'
about how African Americans were once segregated
and forced to use different restrooms and water fountains
Feeling like I let every1 down

All I wanted to do was showcase my vintage looks
but now I am involved in something so much more complex

Can u look deep/fashionable in front of portapotties?
Can u see any bros taking shits in front of the portapotties?
Who is to blame for this portapotty shot?
Do u think the portapotties provide racial commentary, or do they represent 'the music festival'?

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Some bro has a drunken conversation with his exGF after taking a piss in a portapotty Wed, 2010-05-12 09:24 | by Carles
Photo by thecobrasnake


Listen. I'm still in love with you. I know I've done some terrible things in the past, but I'm over that era of my life. I'm just here at the music festival, but all I can really think about is you...

...Yeah... I just took a piss in a portapotty...

...No. She doesn't mean anything to me.

...I was young back then, and I didn't know what was important to me. I thought life was just all about getting fucked up and partying, but that's not what life's all about. It's about the people you love--taking care of them. I know this for sure, I love you and I will never let you go.

...No. I'm not drunk. I just had a few beers.

...So what? I smoke dank all the time. Don't let that cheapen this moment.

....Shit my phone is dying. How late are you going to be up? Can I come over later?

...Are you dating some one new? What the fuck is his name?

....You mean the bartender from Chili's that you worked with for 4 months? That guy is a fucking pussy. Don't tell me he knows how to man up and give it to you like you need it from daddy.

....You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Put that fucking chump on the phone.

...Put him on the phone.

...Listen babe. I'm giving you one last fucking chance to be with me, and if you pass that shit up, you can rot in hell with whatshisface and keep being a piece of shit who doesn't even throw down with the scene.

...This is what you're gonna do? You're picking him over me? That guy is a straight chump. When I hang up the phone, I am gonna have pussy and ass in my face within seconds. I'm willing to give that up for you. Just make the call.

...Alright. Well I tried to give you a second life, but you fucking blew it, and you aren't shit without me. I hope you think of me everytime whats his face puts his tiny cock inside of you.

...This is fucking it. Bye forever.

Do u think this bro was too harsh on his ex-gf, or should he have abstained from making the 'drunk dial'?
Have u ever 'drunk dialed' ur ex-lover, and had it ruin your entire night?
Has an ex ever drunk dialed u and got all vulnerable, then u had to tell them that you move on to a new lover?

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