HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photo via the cobrasnake

I have always heard that Portland is the perfect alternative city . It's not like Brooklyn cuz u don't have too many inauthentic transplants moving there and accidentally 'corrupting the scene' since they are 'alternative immigrants' who need 5-10 years to learn 'the way of life.' It seems like a place where they actually honor alternative ideals, such as 'going green', 'being vegan', and chilling in the wilderness/public space. They have some sort of 'thriving music scene'... There must 'be something in the water' or something that has made it an alternative utopia. I imagine that if u walk down the streets in Portland, u will see dozens of conceptual pop bands performing for the sake of music--not to make money.

I was startled when I saw this t-shirt that said Portland FUCKING Oregon. It made me think that my assumptions about Portland's brand were entirely wrong. Maybe they are undergoing some sort of 'massive population shift', or perhaps the city has been corrupted with transplants. The shirt seems 'in ur face', as if the city of Portland is a hardXcore band, or possibly a crabcore band. It seems like Portland's authenticity might be 'going up in flames.'

I feel scared about this shirt, sort of like how the 'Keep Austin Weird' shirt sold the Austin TX 'free-spirited' brand to mainstreamers, eventually leading to tons of corporate development, making the city 60-90% less authentic.

I might move somewhere, and create a "Keep (location) alt" t-shirt. It will probably have to be somewhere in 'the middle of nowhere.'

I just need to find a place to live that is 'perfect 4 me.' Tons of kewl bands passing through, a thriving alternative scene/economy, and possibly some sort of organic foods market. Hope I live in a community that has banned walmarts. Hope that I live in a place that is good for 'singles.' Hope I find a place where the real me can be set free.

Worried about Portland FUCKING Oregon.
Does n e 1 from Portland FUCKIGN Oregon know if Portland FUCKING Oregon is in trouble?

Does ur community/scene have an 'official shirt'?
Do authentic ppl wear this shirt, or is it just for 'tourists and maltstreamers'?
Where do u want 2 live when ur a grown up?

Yall. I was watching meaningful live performances from the alternative utopia known as Portland, Oregon. It seems like a place where I can just be 'me' and not worry about the past or the future. I would only have to worry about NOW, and NOW would always be at a meaningful conceptual indie rock show.

/// Just want 2 live in a place with impromptu live performances & a thriving bicycle economy.

Seems like life could be more meaningful there. It's like a time capsule that preserved various snapshots of the past 50 years when things were free-spirited, well-intentioned, and authentic (and a lil bit dancey).

My major metropolitan area is getting kinda lame, and the scene doesn't support eachother. Every1 is s0 focused on 'making it on the internet' that they neglect the local community. h8 it s0 bad. Just want a thriving local music community with dedicated fans, grassroots/organic marketing possibilities, and some medium-to-high quality indie pop.

Previous Portland Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/mtv-is-discovering-stuff-thats-alt-does-that-mean-its-not-alt-n-e-more-beware-of-the-mainstreamers-2.html

Have yall evr been 2 Portland?
Do they have underground book stores and vegan cuisine options?
Can I ride my vintage bike there as my primary mode of transportation?
Do they have internet wires/connection portals there for my Macbook?
Do they have Chili'ses there?
Just exploring my options, yall... 2k9 is a whole new year... [via barry Obammes]

Lately, MTV has been doing these in-depth investigative journalism pieces about parts of the world no1 has ever heard about. I wanted to share these rlly informative pieces with yall, because I assume that if you read this blog, you are one of the most culturally-connected persons within your local community. You are a first-line tastemaker, and you deserve to know about [EXCLUSIVE] stuff like this.

Please note that these videos are [HIGHLY RECCD], not only because you get to see John Norris' never-ending-quest to be a lil alt, but because you want to understand what it's like to participate in the revolution that is a geographically-contained creative renaissance.

Note: HIGHLY RECCT VIDEOS MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE IN YOUR RSS READER
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Un-Earthed Location #1: A small American city called "Portland, Oregon."
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Did this video almost make your head explode, too? SRSLY. I rlllly hate Portland and any other 'second tier' cities that claim to be culturally relevant by playing up the whole 'alternative gimmick.' There is an excess of shitty musicians who are Starbucks/Chili's employees in every city, so I hate when a city's personal brand revolves around 'sounding like they really mean it when they make their shitty music/attend their shitty, awkward concerts.'

I'd say Austin, TX is pretty good example of 'shitty city who is gimmickifying it's underwhelmingly-alternative brand', too. Most of the music in Austin, TX is more approachable indie fodder than the Portland concept crap, so I'll give the edge to Portland when it comes to 'moderately alt cities that major-city-alts-want-to-move-to-bc-they-think-their-life-will-be-simple, yet-authentic,yet-still-as-alt as they feel comfortable with.' No matter what, we all need an alt-city full of alts to feel comfortable around without the high-cost-of-living that major metropolitan areas have. Don't you feel like you have met a lot of people who have idealized Portland and Austin as 'heaven on alt-earth'? Like they imagine settling down with a humble-&-emotionally-connected trophy alt who is done with his/her 'partying phase' and ready to start buying well-designed carriages for their newborn babies (lil alts).

Common traits of overhyped 2nd rate alternative cities:

• Perception of being 'green'
• Perception of a bustling 'local economy'
• A high 'basically unemployment' rate (this figure represents people who are over 30, but still have the jobs a 16 year old would have)
• An excess of corporate and independent coffee shops
• An excess of people with too many tattoos working in independent coffee shops
• An excess of coffee shop employees playing RLLY gimmicky 'interesting' music in coffee shops during their shifts/playing the albums of their friend's band who sound exactly like _______
• Overhearing the 'future plans' of people who work in these coffee shops to start their own business in design/food/recordstore/boutique/other alternative biz idea.
• An excess of people in bands that have shows in an excess of venues
• An otherwise stable maintream economy which allows the alternative population to work in the service industry. While this usually happens in all cities, the minorities in the service industry are replaced by these aging alts.
• Overhearing all of these people talking about stuff that was cool between 2 to 40 years ago. They basically have a 2 year delay on 'what is currently cool' and usually just rely on 'liking aesthetics/bands that are from before 1985.'
• A handful of decent bands, a few imitators, and a bunch of krappie bands that have tied their identity to their home city and guilt their friends into attending their show/post a lot of myspace bulletins to impressionable local-17-year olds.
• They attempt to assert their city-wide inferiority complexes by having excessive representation when it comes to liberal activities, particularly 'marches.' Examples include Gay Pride Marches, Anti-Racism Marches, Marches Against 'The War', and general Marches Against Stuff That Exists Because of Conservative People.
• These cities have significant populations of 'cool dads' and 'free spirited moms' by choice/believe in their personal images, as opposed to the real-city versions of these parents who are simply 'participating in a gimmick which they have no control over.'
• A lot of these cities have a major university or a well-branded liberal arts school with a progressive identity which the 'hip side of town' feels like they need to cater to in order to keep up sales of vegan wraps, pizza-made-from-only-organic-ingredients, and interesting t-shirts.

N e ways. Do yall like these types of cities or what? Am I wrong? Should the Mayor of Portland 'show me around the alt side of town' and then 'take me on a tour of their business district'?

I think a lot of cities/hip communities within a city all have some of these traits. Did I miss n e traits?

[PLEASE NOTE: I DO LIKE STARFUCKER FROM PORTLAND, BUT I WILL STOP LIKING THEM WHEN PEOPLE START CALLING THEM 'THE NEXT MGMT' AND THEIR RCRD LABEL FORCES THEM TO CHANGE THEIR NAME. ]

[PLEASE NOTE: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH AN EXISTENTIAL PHASE WHERE I LISTENED TO A LOT OF THE MICROPHONES AND HAVE DECIDED TO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM PORTLAND SERIOUSLY IN ORDER TO FORGET THE PERSON WHO I USED TO THINK I WAS IN 2KNEVER.]

[PLEASE NOTE: I H8 95% OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET FROM PORTLAND. I THINK I JUST DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK WHERE THEY LIVE IS ANY MORE/LESS INTERESTING THAN N E WHERE ELSE.]

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Unearthed Location #2: A country called France

Can some one please explain the differences between the bands JUS-TICE and JEW-STEESE? If they are going to use an American world, I think they should say it like a proud American. "Justice" was a concept invented in America, so it doesn't matter how.

N e ways, this video is s00 true. Those Frenchies are stealing our culture and selling it back 2 us. SOME1 NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. Our American alternative celebrities are letting us down. Also, the American government should ban foreign artists from utilizing our memes and media from the past in order to make money off their art. America should probably ally with Australia in the ElectroWar.

Journalists need to stop focusing on geographic locations, and start realizing that
we all live on the Internet. There's no such thing as a 'city' n e m0re, yall. We're all citizens of Blogville/the blogosphere/the memesphere/the information super fagway.

In conclusion, we need America to unite as a nation to create popular alternative music. Carles is doing his best to help the United States by working hard on the HIPSTER RUNOFF debut EP.

HRO is sooo mainstream. I can't believe I still blg abt all of these mainstream bands that are alllll over MTV.

I'm just searching for authentic authenticity. :-(

LIVE CONCERT NEWS:
Easter Egg was banned from a Portland venue for bringing the party too hard. I guess his post-Girl Talk brand of PARTY isn't granola enough for Portland, but I think that's a good thing. Look for Easter Egg to either get more popular with the Gen-Y kids of Portland who couldn't identify with the Microphones, or to get blacklisted even harder. Oh well. At least the bloggers appreciate him.

[EASTER EGG RELATED MUSIC INSIGHTS]
Here's a pretty interesting Pharrell+Twista music video that is a pretty solid song. It also demonstrates Pharrell's ability to research design aesthetics and introduce them to hip hop.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgE3fgb2mg8&rel=1&border=0]
DL the Easter Egg track below that's a solid utilization of the acapella from that song 'That girl wanna give it up watch her'. It's a COPY beat.

[MP3]
Easter Egg Giving Up Florida [OBVIOUSLY REC'CD]

Easter Egg's Myspace (DL some mixtapes)
http://www.myspace.com/eastereggmusic