post-hardcore | Hipster Runoff

post-hardcore

Michael Cera gets a neck tattoo, rebrands as a hardcore bro

Michael Cera hardcore tattoos lip ring
As yall know, Michael Cera is a mainstream alt celebrity who is in a lot of critically acclaimed, yet commercially unsuccessful films and television shows. It seems like he recently joined the hit buzzband Mister Heavenly to help them get press, but now he is done with that, and probably looking for a new 'niche' in society/the world.

Really can't believe this new picture of 'Hardcore Michael Cera.' A lot of ppl loved him because he looked like a little boy that u can 'dominate' whether you are a male or female, but now he seems to have gone 'hardcore.' Neck tattoos. Lip ring. Those big thingies in ur ears that people who want to be unemployed forever get.

U gotta wonder how this is gonna impact his career. He probably needs to gain a lot of muscle mass and try 2 become an action star. Props 2 him for 'finding himself' and breaking free from the role he always plays (himself).

Do u like the new look?
Do u dig 'plugs' / 'gauges'?
Do yall have sleeve tattoos?
Is Michael Cera admitting that his career is over?
Is he 'doomed' to working at ur local mall?
What is the 'career ceiling' of a bro with a hardcore personal brand? Manager at Hot Topic/Black Fly/Best Buy?

Michael Cera

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Michael Cera is an alt actor whose movies flops and he basically plays himself ovr and ovr again in every movie.

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Lamestreamers on facebook try to talk about post-hardcore music, snarky alt mocks them


So many alts are still discovering music every day, utilizing facebook to have meaningful discourse about which bands are buzzworthy and which bands are 'pure shit.' It's so weird how there are so many new services u can use to discover music that u like based on what u've heard/ur previous listening history, but even though computers are smart, no1 knows u better than ur bros.

Here is a convo between bros where they try to talk about the post-hardcore altino act The Mars Volta. Have u heard of them, or are they too ____ 4 u?

First, a bro is like 'Dude. Mars Volta is bad ass.'

Then another bro comes along and is like 'they are weird.'

A third bro comes out of nowhere and is like 'they are defaneatley interesting, but i have only heard 1 of they're mp3s.  Will have 2 DL some more.'

Then an authentic bro comes along and is like 'dude, Mars Volta is inauthentic.  At The Drive in was their first band before they totesally broke up and tried to go mainstream [via SPARTA]'

The initial bro is like, "That's kewl, gotta check out their discography.  Love this facebook thing."

Finally, a snarky alt comes along, and is like, "Have u mother fuckers ever heard of the band The Vampire Weekends? See yall on the blogs, bitches!"

Gotta love indie self-aware bros 'killing it' in the facebook wall-2-wall scene, making fun of inauthentic post-hardcore fans who just want to listen to dudes yelling into microphones.

Is post-hardcore authentic?
Do u ever see lamestreamers talking about music on facebook?
Are these bros 'inauthentic'?
What kind of ppl listen to the Mars Volta?
Is it chill 2 make fun of ppl on facebook if they don't realize it?
Was that bro 'making fun of their lack of awareness of buzzbands' or is he 'honestly recommending' the Vampire Weekend because it sounds a lot like the Mars Volta?

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