pregnancy watch | Hipster Runoff

pregnancy watch

Just bc ur pregnant, doesn't mean u can't be alt... doesn't mean u can't party...

After watching hundreds of episodes of '16 and Pregnant'
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be 'Alt and Pregnant'...
Could I really handle the rigors of being a mother
and maintain my alternative credibility?

Could I still party?
Could I still drink?
Could I still smoke?
Could I still go to Coachelly and Southby...
or would my ankles swell up and hurt?

Sometimes I understand that I want more than material things
More than VIP, sponsored experiences
But then at the same time... I want those things 4evr
I want to be able to go on 'sweet benders'
even when I am pregnant
even when I have to take my son to school at 6 am every morning

Part of me wants to 'be young 4evr'
Avoid responsibilities,
but maybe babies will be fun
Maybe I'll learn a lot about myself
maybe I can pass my alt ways
to my unborn

I want to be a parent
I want to be Alt & Pregnant
I want to be a good, Alt Parent
But I also want 2 partie

Can u be alt and pregnant?
Do u have to sacrifice 'good times' and altness' when u have a child?
Do u know an alt who got 'prematurely pregnant' and it ruined her alt life?
Should there be a show on MTV/IFC/FUSE about how hard it is 2 be alt and pregnant?
Can you drink and smoke and do MDMA when ur preggers?
If u 'get effed up' while ur preggers, does ur baby 'get effed up 2' [via partying]?

I want to go back in time and get a teen pregnant then become youtube famous.

via wtfdyhak

I want to be a teen again
and make love
to a girl in my Speech class
accidentally 'get her pregnant.'

Her belly will swell with life
that came from my teenage semen
too late to pull up
but experiencing xtreme pleasure

She will eventually have to go to a high school for pregnant teens
and make friend with other people who are in her situation
we will say that 'this was a gift from God'
and name our child something Biblical

Before the baby comes out of her vagina,
we shall use my digital camera to film a few videos
that people can relate 2
and they can know that 'we are human'
even though we did something unconventional
by having a babie so earlie.

We have a story to share
We can still laugh
We can still dance like no1 is watching
We can birth like we've never been hurt.

This is what it means to be young and beautiful.
It is a state of mind.
We will become youtube famous and get 100,000 subscribers
and make 'mad ad revenue' by 'going viral'

My water breaks
rush to the hospital with my 19 year old boyfriend
and my mom
holding my hand as the baby pops out
She looks at me, pretty ashamed
She looks at my boyfriend, pretty resentful
Worried about the financial burden
that she didn't really 'sign up for'

There is no such thing as a mistake.
We are all gifts from God.

I read in a book that babies come out 'intelligent'
if they listen 2 music while in the womb.
not sure if u can still 'partie'
when ur preggos

Should I 'be a blogger' and 'start a pregnancy rumor'?

[photo via thecobrasnake]
Yalll. It's good 2 see that M.I.A. is retired, but 'still likes to chill pretty hard with Los Angeles' biggest alternative celebrities.' One day, I hope to get pregnant, but still be able to chill hard and watch hulu/vimeo/youtube videos on my Macbook. Don't want to sacrifice 'my daily internet routine' to take care of a child. Guess that means I am 'still just a kid' and probz not ready 4 responsibilities. Just wanna chill with my fave DJs and 'get my party on [via pouring grey goose in my mouf].'

It's kinda weird how we're all 'growing up' and assuming more responsibilities. One day, I will be a father. One day I will be a grown up. One day, I will not drink/'do drugs.' One day I will own my own alternative business that contributes to society and the economy.

Being a parent must be challenging, yall.

"So I guess this is growing up."
-the Blink 182s

"Someday, Someday."
- the Strokes Bros

"I am jealous of M.I.A.'s baby because he will be brought into a post-Obama world, and he will not get to experience the pain and suffering that I have gone through."


Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

The Cobrasnake

Alternative Celebrity

Mark Hunter is the Cobrasnake, some bro who travels around the world taking pictures of alt shit so now he has a lifestyle brand.

Read more>>>>

Phallic Symbol Sweaters: Big in 2k8.8 - 2k9.2 [WINTER WATCH]

[Photo by The Facehunter]

s00 excited about winter. I remember in my post about Pea Coats, I blggd abt how winter gives you the opportunity 2 express urself in a way that u can't for 75% of the year. SRSLY though... not even sure what the thingies on this guy's sweater even are. Just know that they are phallic symbols (A.K.A. "peen-shaped symbols").

I hope this winter isn't too much about cryptic symbols on popular clothing items. I'm not sure if I'm ready to move beyond solids & stripes into a more abstract space. Just feel like those represent my personal brand really well without 'saying 2 much.'

SRSLY tho...what's on his sweater, yall?
Power Tools? Art Supplies? A makeup kit? Electric toothbrushes? Non-Crayola magic markers?


Fruity Loops (necklaces): Big in 2k10?

Or are trashbags+leggings the future of female fashion?

[Photo by Hel Looks]

Are Leggings [OFFICIALLY] for Pregnant People?

Yall. I know a lot of yall guys and gals wear leggings. However, after M.I.A.'s monumental 'performance while pregnant', we can't help but wonder if the leggings aesthetic will forever be associated with Pregnant People. I know that before 2k8, pregnant people usually just work 'some baggy jogging pants' or maybe some other 'comfy pants' with 'a drawstring.' However, I think leggings are the future of Stylish Pregnant Women, yall.

I wonder what M.I.A. is craving. Hopefully it's some zany combination of sweet & sour foods. Do pregnant women really crave stuff, or are they just using the excuse of 'having a baby' to eat whatever they want?

(Hope those shoes provide enuff ankle support with her added weight. I'd recommend some New Balances.)

Is the free-spirited-est mom the one who performs at a Sponsored Alternative Party while her child is still inside of her? Is this unborn child the youngest being to ever be [PARTY PIC-ED]?

[Photos by Kyle Dean Reinford Photography]

Blogging about all of these females makes me wonder why I blog about them. Whether it's Uffie, Alice Glass, or M.I.A., I am not very into their music, and I don't really know how to evaluate whether or not they are talented. All I can really do is talk about 'how they look.' Is that alright, yall? Am I a 'sexist' who think that a woman's place is 'in the electro equivalent of the kitchen'?

Does n e 1 know who 2 contact to offer M.I.A. between $10-$20 for the [EXCLUSIVE] rights to her baby photos?


Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

NSFW: Jessica Simpson poses NAKED in magazine, shows off BANGIN, CURVIE BOD

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

OMG Jessica! U look big, round and BEAUTAFUL! There is NO reason to airbrush u, bc u are truly airbrushing for 2, and I believe that ur BB already has a BANGIN BOD although I have not seen the sonogram hologram reports.

Honestly, I sometimes feel like I am eating for 2, although I should not be. It's just hard to say no to 2 apple pies 4 99 cents sometimes. :-(

Jessica BB! Ur body still looks BANGING, although u r pregnant, I would still trade ur body for mine nay day. Plus I'll bet ur jugs are FULL of FRESH MILK. That actually reminds me that I need to go 2 the grocery store soon to buy some Whole Milk. I am TIRED of eating my Lucky Charms with water! #yuck

Is that Dane Cook? I want him 2 come kiss my bellie!

Honestly, the last time ANY ONE was near my exposed belly was several years ago when I underwent a life-saving surgery to remove a decaying LEAN POCKET from my tummy. Jessica is honestly very, very brave to show off her belly, but at the same time, it is probably nice to know that her belly will be disappearing soon. As for me, my belly isn't going anywhere unless I end up in another diabetic coma where I 'go under' for several months, bc I will be forced to be on a liquid diet.

U look good, Jessica BB! U r BETTER OFF WITHOUT Nick Lachey! I always thought his boyband sucked! They were n0 NSYNC, that's 4 SURE!

Brittney Spears who? #TeamJessaca

(Always liked u more than Ashlee Simpson bc u can ACTUALLY sing, bb!)

Trace Cyrus got some AZN girl pregnant!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

There is something abt Billy Ray Cyrus's semen that creates the MOST BEAUTAFUL children in the world. Trace, Noah, Miley... They are all BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED.

Trace is a HOTTY MCHOTHOT goth hipster badboy, and he got a girl pregnant! She' AZN! He's DEFANATELY got yellow fever. I once dated an AZN who delivered Chinese and Thai food. Sometimes he would bring me leftover pad thai, sweet and sour pork, moo goo gai pan, and egg rolls. I was IN HEAVEN. We eventually broke up bc I accidentally ran up a $200 dim sum tab. It was just so yummy, I thought it was buffet style except u don't have to go up to the buffet bar 2 eat.

Brenda Song and Trace Cyrus are expecting their first child together and we know what you're thinking: Brenda Song and Trace Cyrus are dating?!?

Yes, according to Celebuzz, and they've kept it quiet for several months now. The Disney actress, 23, is best known for her role in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and is eight weeks along, a source says, adding:

“They are beyond thrilled."

I am BEYOND THRILLED 2, bb! They just opened up a Ruby Tuesdays by my apartment. #cheeseburgers

Trace LOOKS GOOD and his baby will DEFANTELY come out of her AZN womb with really cool tattoos on its body. Honestly, I am sure that i will never have kids because no man has touched me in years, and that is unlikely 2 change 4 the next foreseeable futures.


Congrats 2 Miley too 4 becoming an aunt.

Pink BB! Ur about to blow! Give birth soon!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

OMG Pink! U look REAL GOOD even though ur pregnant and have a big belly and a great big butt...

U look good, bb! And if I saw ur baby's sonogram, it would probably look REAL GOOD, too!

I am honestly a very big woman, and many people ask me if I am pregnant with Dorito babies all the time. It's really sad because I actually do love Doritos, and I never knew that eating an entire bag by myself with a 12 inch Philly Cheese Subway sammy was BAD FOR ME. Subway told me to eat their food to lose weight, but I am NOT dropping pounds. I LOVE LOVE LOVE their cookie deal! I usually just get a dozen then snack on them throughout the day! Yummy!

My ex used to be a Subway franchise owner and I got lots of free sammies, but I think he broke up with me bc they would run out of parmesan orregganno bread 2 much (my fave).

Pink is a SEXIE BB and she is THE QUEEN OF POP!
Britney who??? #TeamPink

Ur bb is gonna be WAY prettier than Marieah Carey's bb!

Pink shows off her big belly! She's pregnant and BEAUTIFUL!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Pink BB! U have the Best Best Best voice in pop music, and I am SO HAPPY 4 u bc u are having a CHILD.

U truly deserve 2 be happy, and deserve to be a mother. I hope ur partying WITHOUT drugs and alcohol, and instead are loving life as a mother! BB!

I will probably never be pregnant because I havent had a bf in years. I have been mistaken for being pregnant, but now I am just a great big fat person, and I wish I was just mistaken for being pregnant. It is honestly difficult to get thru doorways and I have to use elevators instead of stairs. It is a massive disaster! I am really actually ashamed of myself and have broken the 4 mirrors in my house. I even thru away all of the foil because I h8 myself.

but enough abt me, LIFE is beautiful (unless ur me), and I am HAPPY that Pink Jr is coming into our world! Her body STILL LOOKS good and i have NO DOUBT she will lose her babie weight!


Mariah Carey takes pregnant big belly photos and LOOKS GOOD!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Mariah Carey LOOKS GOOD even though she has a huge belly, but it is filled with a wonderful child, placed inside of her by Nick Cannon! I guess he decided to Wild N Out inside of her #lol #potty_humor

Mariah LOOKS GOOD, and she will ALWAYS have the best voice in pop. Xtina Aguilera who? Whitney Houston who? #TeamMariah

I am jealous of her AMAZING FIGURE even though she has a pregnant belly. I would srsly <3 to have that waist size. But to be totally honest, I DO want to be A MOTHER, but it is just a matter of finding the right guy who will actually stay with me, and want to BE A FATHER. Any man can create a baby, but a TRUE MAN stays to raise it. I have been watching a lot of '16 and Pregnant' and it makes me sad, but at the same time, I am sorta jealous that a lot of them found true love at such a young age. My biological clock is ticking, and I NEED to find a partner who truly loves me.

Mariah LOOKS GOOD, though! Nick Cannon is a LUCKY MAN and I hope he NEVER pulls a Chris Brown on her. I am so happy for Mariah finally getting to be a Mother. :-D

U deserve it, bb! Keep looking good!

Pink shows off her pregnant tummy

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Pink! Ur preggers but u still look good, bb!

UR eating for 2 now, huh? Unfortunately, I have been eating for 2 even though I am not with child. Whenever I go out in public, I look a lot like u. Big comfy sweatshirt. PJ pants. Flip flops. And my designer sunglasses. (They cost more than my rent) #dontask

Bb! Good luck passing ur child thru ur vagine. I know that I am definitely have a C-section because I am a total baby! #lol I am not good with pain. Wake me up when it's over! But honestly I will probably never have a child #sadbuttrue

<3 u Pink
U really are SO FUCKING PERFECT, bb!

Steve Aoki's sister is pregnant

Steve Aoki is about to be an uncle because his sister "Devon Aoki" is pregnant. U have to wonder if becoming an uncle will change Steve's vibe/lifestyle bc he will try to be a good role model for the baby. In the above photograph, you can see a 'baby bump' as she is escorted by some bro dude.

James Bailey, an American financier, was also casually dressed in shorts, a cotton shirt and trainers as he carried a to go bag as they left the trendy Joan's on Third cafe in West Hollywood, California.

Do yall know if Devon Aoki is 'alt'? Or is Steve Aoki the only alt in the family? Or are neither of them alt?
Did Devon 'crush it' in 2 Fast and Furious'?

Devon, whose acting credits include the movies 2 Fast 2 Furious and Sin City, is also an heiress to the Benihana restaurant fortune.

The New York-born beauty's late father was Japanese businessman Hiroaki Aoki who founded the Benihana chain and he was also a former Olympic wrestler.

Devon was discovered at an early age and began modelling at 13.
She eventually went on to replace Naomi Campbell as the face of Versace and has also posed for such fashion giants as Chanel and Fendi.

Still can't believe we're growing older. Ppl getting married, having babies. Just want 2 be young forever.

Do yall <3 the Aoki family?
If I become a rich, cargo short wearing white bro, will I get to marry/date premium a$$?
Would u rather be Steve or Devon?
Who is the most successful alt family? A-Trak + Dave1? Ezra and Jeff Koenig? Chaz and Raz Bundick?

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