HIPSTER RUNOFF

[Photo by icanteachuhow2doit]
Child Predator glasses will never die.
Child Predator glasses have been around forever.
Child Predator glasses can make u look like an authentic kreep, no matter how upper-middle class your family is.
Child Predator glasses help u distance ur personal brand from society's norms.
Child Predator glasses make u look 'a lil smart' and 'a lil crayzee.'
Child Predator glasses may or may not be the new shutter shades.
Child Predator glasses help u see in the dark when ur trying 2 murder some1.
Child Predator glasses turn u into some1 that u nvr thought u could be.
Child Predator glasses are the lenses through which most of America's biggest tragedies were masterminded & executed.

///// Will Barry Obama ban child predator glasses? ///

Previous ChildPred coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/child-predatoring-is-a-serious-business.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/part-of-the-child-predator-never-dies.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/just-bc-i-dont-blog-about-child-predators-n-e-more-doesnt-mean-u-should-let-ur-guard-down-2.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/what-is-the-name-of-this-style-of-glasses.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/06/girl-talk-i-created-child-predator.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/we-dont-care-abt-the-child-predator-glasses-folks-pbj.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/the-lead-singer-of-hot-chip-his-child-predator-glasses.html

XX BONUS ALTBRO who is waaay 2 into blogs XX

{photo by <a href="http://www.lastnightsparty.com">lastnightsparty</a>}
"I am an authentic altbro. I read mp3 blogs. I own a tshirt of my favourite MP3 blog instead of tshirt of my favourite band. I support RCRD LBL bc they allegedly pay artists when they post their music. Most music blogs are just predators and don't care about artists. Most mp3 blogs just want to get paid, and don't care about what they are contributing to making the music industry a level playing field where we can appreciate what is truly worth appreciating. One day, I will start a music blog. One day, my blog will change the way that people see the music industry. I have a Macbook and a couple of digital cameras. I have big dreams. But I would settle for a tug."
-some altBro

For the first time ever, I found utility in RCRD LBL just to read Steve Aoki's blog about how some kid hid behind Aoki's hotel room shower curtain at a crazie afterparty, and then stole all of his money, his laptop, and personal items, but then ended up returning them.

Hey look. It's a picture of the guy running away with Aoki's crap.

So instead of keeping Aoki's MacBook Pro and iTunes Library valued at around $1,000,000, the guy ended up returning it.

Here is the confession letter from the Aoki fan boy:

"Dear Steve Aoki,

I am a huge fan of yours, I love what your crew does. Last night, (March '07) at Element, there were some people who came to join with you after your show. I snuck in and hid behind the shower curtain. I was highly intoxicated, which when everyone had left, led me to come out into your room and take your napsack > lapttop inside. I have never stole before and never plan to again. Here is your stuff. I saw your money and ggot freaked. I truly amd sory and feel horrible for taking advantage of a great person/DJ. Email is gooddudeissorry@gmail.com. I hope you can move on from my stupidity and have a great rest of your tour. If you eever need anything in any city in Canada, I can hook you up. Again I am just 19 years old, young and innocent, love your music and love what you are about (aboot!). Here is what I took.

email: goodguyissorry@gmail.com
Believe in Love + KARMA!

I guess this raises a few important questions:
1. Would U Have Returned Aoki's Gear?
2. If you hid in Aoki's bath tub just to steal his crap, wouldn't you atleast take the time to write something cryptic on the walls with the blood of a murder victim? Didn't that one famous serial killer write 'BL00DY B33TR00TZ' on the walls of that one famous murder?
2a. Maybe it's just me, but don't you get more satisfaction out of doing WEIRD acts of vandalism, as opposed to stealing stuff? Wouldn't it be way kewler to take a crap in Aoki's DJ Backpack, or something like that?
3. How much money does Steve Aoki carry in his wallet? U know what they say about people who need to pay for things in cash.
4. Is gooddudeissorry@gmail.com just a Dim Mak up-and-coming artist?
5. Is this a publicity stunt by some guy, just like that time Patrick Moberg fell in love with that girl in the subway?
6. Should the guy have kept the gear, and launched his own DJ career under the name DJ I YOINKED AOKI'S GEAR (aka DJ YNKD K'S GR)
7. I will give a $30 gift certificate to TGIFriday's to the person who sends the most hilarious email to goodguyissorry@gmail.com . Tell him he's a good person. Or that he's a FGGT.

Anyways, visit the RCRD LBL DM MK BLG to read more about the day that 'could have changed the course of Steve Aoki's DJ career for 3 days until he bought new crap,' but more importantly, find out whether or not Steve Aoki is the kind of blogger who capitalizes the first word of every sentence.

To uniquely brand any product or entity today, all you really need to do is pick a consonant-heavy word, then remove the vowels.

I'm sure we're all familiar with the blog/record label named RCRD LBL. Then there's even Ocelot's answer for his OCELOT myspace-backslash-unique URL being taken, http://www.myspace.com/ocelotmthrfckrs.

While browsing myspace, I was pleased to find that myspace shifted their 'Brooklyn Style pizza' to the BRKLYN pizza.

It's an important day for MRKTNG teams across the world.

What are some other good VOWEL-less products/bands out there?

------BONUS--------
Please feel free to take this test to prove your vowel-less word recognition skills.

(Identify the following bands)
1. TH TNGRS
2. FST
3. JSTC
4. DJ M
5. DJ STV K
6. MSTRKRFT
7. BYS NZE
8. NRK
9. NML CLLCTV
10. R
11. THVS LK S
12. JHN MYR
13. GRL TLK
14. KNGS F CNVNNC
15. CRYSTL CSTLS
16. LCD SNDSYSTM
17. SYMBLN

(Identify the following music blogs)
18. GRLL VS BR
19. HPSTR RNFF
20. PND TS
21. LTRRSH
22. DSCDST
23. HRT CMX
24. PDSTRN.TV
25. ASN DN
26. HYPRBL
27. KNCKN
28. SPR LSR

(Identify the following Web Service)
29. MYSPC
30. FCBK
31. LST.FM
32. TMBLR
33. HYPMCHN
34. ELB.WS
35. BLGGR

The person who passes this test will receive a McDonalds Arch Card worth $20.